Boom Roasted Sports

Who's #1?

2012-02-06T18:38:00.007-05:00

Eli Manning winning his second ring with yet another game-winning drive late in the fourth quarter against the Patriots in the Super Bowl has opened up the customary post-Super Bowl debate: Who's the best QB in the NFL right now?

Much to the surprise of no one, New Yorkers as well as media outlets with a P.H.d in overreaction and hysteria hit the social media world to declare Eli's greatness and label him everything short of our newest savior and leader of the free world. Former ESPN personality Max Kellerman opened up a debate on Twitter as to whether Eli was the greatest 4th quarter quarterback of all-time, which lead to Giants fans damn near tripping over themselves to tweet back that the newest King of New York has surpassed the likes of Joe Montana and John Elway and has emerged as "Mr. Clutch". It's what's to be expected of significantly biased fans moments after their team gets a taste of a championship. This time a year ago, most Packers fans would tell you Aaron Rodgers could walk on water while simultaneously curing cancer.

Once the dust settles, however, the question as to who is the top signal caller in the NFL will need a legitimate, non-biased answer. Eli Manning certainly went out of his way to put his name in the discussion and strike back at those who scoffed at his preseason claim that he was an elite QB in the stature of a Tom Brady. But is he #1, and if not, who is? It's a quandary I passed along via text to some of my friends to get varying opinions to mix in with my own thoughts on the matter. At the end of the day, we settled on six quarterbacks who can stake claim to the top spot. Since this is MY website, I ranked them in the order I felt they fall in based on some heavy research and my own takes on their personal achievements.

To help build suspense(though, granted, you could just scroll down), I'm starting from #6 and moving down(or up, if you want to be technical). Feel free to send me your outrage.....

6. Peyton Manning(Age: 35. Will be 36 in March)

Credentials: 4-time NFL MVP, 11-time Pro Bowler, 5-time first-team All-Pro, 3-time 2nd-team All-Pro, lead Colts to two Super Bowls, winning one of them, Super Bowl MVP, fastest to 4,000 completions, fastest to 50,000 passing yards, started 227 straight games including playoffs prior to missing the 2011 season

The case for Peyton: He's the NFL's only four-time MVP. He's remarkably consistent, throwing for at least 4,000 yards in all but two of his thirteen seasons(not including this season, which he didn't play a down of) and threw at least 25 touchdown passes every year since 1998(his rookie season), surpassing the 30 TD mark four times and hitting the 40 TD mark once in 2004 with a then-NFL record 49. The biggest case for Manning's standing atop the QB mountain may have came without him even seeing the field. With Manning sidelined the entire year coming off neck surgery, the Colts plummeted to a league-worst 2-14 record.

The case against Peyton: Obviously, uncertainty is the biggest issue with Manning. For one, we don't know if he'll ever play again. There were early reports that Manning has been cleared to play but Colts owner Jim Irsay says his team doctors declare otherwise. What we DO know is Manning has seen his last days as an Indianapolis Colt as the team will move on with inevitable #1 pick Andrew Luck in 2012. At 36, coming off three neck surgeries, having not played a game since January of last year and now starting for a as-yet-unknown team, it's hard to gauge the prospects of Peyton returning to the top. How much faith do you put in Peyton putting up his usual numbers in somewhere like Washington or Miami? What about if he lands on a contender like Kansas City or the Jets? There's still so much we don't know yet, but Peyton's resume is long enough to warrant him a spot on the list.

5. Drew Brees(age: 33)

Credentials: 6-time Pro Bowler, 4-time All-Pro, Super Bowl champion and MVP, 2-time NFL Offensive Player of the Year, AP Male Athlete of the Year, NFL Comeback Player of the Year, Sportsman of the Year, all-time single season record holder for passing yards, completions, 300+ yard games in a season, most consecutive seasons with 4,000 yards(6, tied with Peyton Manning), most consecutive seasons with 4,000 yards and 30+ TD's(4 and counting), most completions in a Super Bowl(32), only QB to throw for 5,000 yards in a season twice in his career

The case for Drew: Brees is a statistical juggernaut, as evident by the paragraph above(and those are only the important achievements. The other NFL records and team records could have stretched another four lines). Since coming to New Orleans and uniting with Sean Payton, Brees went on a campaign to rub San Diego's nose(as well as other teams that passed on him in free agency, like Miami) in a pile of excrement for leaving him for dead following his shoulder injury at the end of the 2005 season. He's proven to be a mortal lock for 4,000 yards and 30 TD's, at minimum, and he's doing it with guys who aren't exactly big names like Lance Moore and Jimmy Graham.

The case against Drew: It's hard to knock such a world-class human being but if there's a bone to pick with Brees, it might be his lack of success in the playoffs. If you take away his miracle Super Bowl run in 2009, Brees' postseason career is littered with some disappointments, including getting eliminated by inferior Seattle two years ago and losing a stunner to San Francisco this past season. Brees is 5-4 in his career in the playoffs, which isn't horrible but could be a lot better when you consider the opposition that sent Brees and company home early. It also should be mentioned that Brees got off to such a slow start in San Diego that the team invested the #1 pick in the 2004 Draft on Eli Manning(which they later turned into Philip Rivers), which lead to Brees' exile from the Chargers not long after.

3. (tie) Ben Roethlisberger(age: 29), Eli Manning(age: 31)

Credentials for Roethlisberger: 2-time Pro Bowler, lead Steelers to three Super Bowls before he even turned 30 and won two, AP NFL Rookie of the Year, most wins by a rookie QB in a season(13), youngest QB to win a Super Bowl, second-youngest QB to win two Super Bowls

Credentials for Manning: 2-time Pro Bowler, two-time Super Bowl champion, 2-time Super Bowl MVP, NFL record for most 4th quarter TD passes in a single season(15), NFL record for most road wins in the playoffs by a quarterback(5)

The case for Big Ben: From the minute he stood under center for the Steelers, Roethlisberger changed Pittsburgh's fortunes for the better. He went 14-1(including playoffs) in his rookie season and won his first Super Bowl in his second year as starter. Since then, he's been the model for toughness(albeit, not exactly durability) and is the chief reason the Steelers remain a contender year-in and year-out. When legendary coach Bill Cowher retired, many thought the Steelers would take a while to bounce back under new coach Mike Tomlin. Instead, Roethlisberger carried the Steel Curtian to another Super Bowl title and came within a final drive of winning his third one two years ago against Green Bay.

The case against Big Ben: His numbers aren't spectacular, but they are solid for a QB leading a team that's known for being smashmouth(though they became more pass-oriented under former OC Bruce Arians). Roethlisberger has thrown for more than 25 TD passes twice in eight seasons and has eclipsed the 4,000 yard mark twice as well. For all his toughness and willingness to play through pain, even Ben has his limits. Roethlisberger has played a full season just once in his career and, oddly enough, it was his worst season statistically(17 TD-to-15 INT). Big Ben also has the Drew Bledsoe curse of staying in the pocket too long waiting for the big play to develop and taking unnecessary sacks. Since 2006, Big Ben has been sacked at least 40 times every season except 2010, when he missed four games due to suspension(and he still finished with 32 sacks).

The case for Eli: For the second time in the Super Bowl(and the third time in the past three showdowns), Eli Manning marched down the field against the New England Patriots and engineered the game-winning drive. He has emerged as Mr. 4th Quarter and he will forever be known for his valiant effort in Super Bowl 42, defeated a then-undefeated Patriots team and pulling off one of the greatest plays in Super Bowl history when he connected with David Tyree on the game-winning drive. He's thrown for 4,000 yards in the last three seasons and is now 7-3 in the playoffs.

The case against Eli: These are the facts Giants fans aren't trying to hear when they are busying championing Eli as the second coming. For all the talk about Eli's postseason greatness, it should be mentioned that Eli's playoff achievements barely happened because Eli and company were so underwhelming in the regular season that they needed late-season collapses by the Cowboys to back into the playoffs. In Eli's two Super Bowl champion years, the Giants were 10-6 and 9-7 in 2007 and 2011 respectively. In between those two years, Eli lead the Giants to the playoffs ONCE and they were one-and-done in 2008. It should also be mentioned that the same fans that now think Eli is a gridiron Jesus were ready to throw him and coach Tom Coughlin out of the Big Apple prior to the 2007 playoffs. Eli's thrown more than 30 TD's once in his career but has lead the league in interceptions twice. As great as he's been against the likes of Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady, he got outplayed twice by the Redskins this season(your starting QB's for Washington in those games? Rex Grossman. Yikes.). Manning also took L's this season to teams led by Vince Young and Tarvaris Jackson. Look, I'm not saying Eli hasn't stepped up into the upper echelon of quarterbacks but run his numbers against Big Ben's and tell me how they aren't freakishly similar. You've never heard anyone call Big Ben the best QB in the game, have you? Two Super Bowl wins certainly legitimizes Eli's claim to the crown but it hardly secures his seat on the throne. Feel free to send me your hate mail, Giants fans.

2. Aaron Rodgers (age: 28)

Credentials: 2-time Pro Bowler, First-team All-Pro once, NFL MVP, Super Bowl champion and MVP, AP Male Athlete of the Year, NFL single-season record holder for QB rating(122.5), only QB to throw for 4,000 in each of his first two seasons as starter, only QB to in NFL history to throw for 45+ touchdowns and 6 or less interceptions.

The case for A-Rod: Oh, I can see your predictable jabs now. "Aw, Dave's a homer! How can he put Rodgers ahead of Eli when Eli beat Rodgers in the playoffs this year!?". A valid question, I grant you. The proof is in the numbers. Football is a team sport, not an individual sport, no matter how much we want to chalk Super Bowls down to Brees vs. Peyton or Big Ben vs. A-Rod or Eli vs. Brady. At the end of the day, one TEAM emerges victorious(That being said, A-Rod is 1-1 against Eli, even if Eli's win came in a game of greater importance). If we gave individuals credit for team accomplishments, then Big Ben would be alot higher on this list. If you want to put Eli ahead of A-Rod because the Giants beat the Packers in the playoffs than I get to put Donovan McNabb ahead of Eli for the number of times McNabb has sent Eli packing in the postseason. Sound fair? Didn't think so. What Rodgers has done in such a short span, not to mention the fact he took over for an icon in Brett Favre amidst a very ugly split between Favre and the team, is nothing short of incredible. Yes, the Packers backed into the playoffs last season, got hot at the right time and won the Super Bowl, a la Eli in 2007. Rodgers came back the next year, went 14-1 as a starter, won the NFL MVP in a landslide and came a few dropped passes and bad defense from running the table again. 4,000 yards in back-to-back seasons isn't as impressive as it used to be considering defensive rule changes now allow the game to be glorified two-hand touch and passing offenses have become a bit more creative. A 45-6 TD-to-INT ratio in an offense that is almost exclusively utilizing the pass, however? Remarkable.

The case against A-Rod: We're judging Rodgers on such a short sample. Even though he's been in the league seven years, Rodgers has only started for four. Granted, in those three seasons, he's 41-21 as a starter but it's hard to get too worked up over four seasons of work. On top of that, Rodgers has laid some eggs in the playoffs. As good as the Giants were this year, the Packers proved they could beat Big Blue and a lot of the blame for that Divisional round loss falls on Rodgers' shoulders for being surprisingly off in key moments. Rodgers also cost the Packers a Wild Card win in Arizona when he fumbled the ball away which lead to the game-winning touchdown in overtime(In Rodgers' defense, he brought the Packers back from 21-0. In the anti-Rodgers' defense, his two early turnovers were the chief reason they were down so much.). We need to see more excellence out of Rodgers before we could give him the title that he fictitiously applies to himself after every score. You could do alot worse than 3-2 in the playoffs in your first three years but Rodgers needs more seasons like 2010 to keep him out of the Phillip Rivers "great regular season QB's who flop in the playoffs" category. Also, and it pains me to say this as a Packers fan, Matt Flynn's record-setting performance in Week 17 this season hurt Rodgers' stock a little bit to me, even if it came against a terrible Lions defense.

1. Tom Brady(age: 34)

Credentials: 7-time Pro Bowler, 2-time First Team All-Pro, 2nd-team All-Pro once, 2-time MVP, 2-time Offensive Player of the Year, lead the Patriots to five Super Bowls, winning three as well as two Super Bowl MVPs, NFL Comeback Player of the Year, AP Male Athlete of the Year, 2-time Sportsman of the Year, NFL record for touchdown passes in a single-season(50), most consecutive wins in the playoffs(10), most career completions in the Super Bowl, most consecutive passing attempts without an interception(358), one of two quarterbacks to lead his team to an undefeated regular season

The case for Tom: As much as Giants fans want to herald Eli as the king of comebacks, here's a stat for you: With the his team tied or down in the 4th quarter, Brady has engineered 33 game-winning drives in his career(three of which coming in the Super Bowl, albeit not against Eli Manning. You got me there, Giants fans.). He's 8-1 in overtime games. He's 138-40 as a starter, 14-5 in the playoffs. As disappointing as the last two Super Bowl losses were(especially since New England was favored both times, including being heavy favorites in 2007/2008), there's a short list of QB's who have lead their team to five Super Bowls. That list? Tom Brady....The End. Sure, Eli Manning has his number....and Shane Mosley has Oscar De La Hoya's number. It's a mere bump in the road along the way of a decorated career. Brady's lead the league in TD passes three times, passing yards twice and completion percentage once. He's as statistically dominant a quarterback as we've seen in the history of the game. Before Eli pulled off the single greatest Super Bowl upset by dispatching an 18-0 Patriots team, Brady pulled off a pretty big upset of his own by taking a heavy underdog Patriots team and beating Kurt Warner and "The Greatest Show On Turf" for his first Super Bowl in 2001. I know this piece seems more like an Eli Manning roast than an acknowledgement of his standing among the game's best passers, but that's mainly because everything that overzealous fans want to give Eli credit for has been done before by other guys on this list. You want to take Eli's 2011 season and use it as proof that he's better than Tom Terrific or Joe Cool, then I'm going to suggest you re-watch "The Catch" or Montana's sterling drive against Cincinnati in the Super Bowl or any one of Brady's 4th quarter drives in his three Super Bowl wins. I'm not even a Brady fan, but I know greatness when I see it and two losses on the biggest stage doesn't sully a career enough to put someone with paltry career numbers over a human record book.

The case against Tom: If you want to pick nits, he dropped the ball in two Super Bowls he should have had in the bag. After leading the game-winning drives in Super Bowl wins against St. Louis, Philadelphia and Carolina, Brady let us down by failing not once, but twice against the Giants in the Super Bowl when he had superior offenses in both games(Though the offenses were a bit closer in 2011 than in 2008). He also gets some criticism for being the poster child for the "sissy-fying" of the NFL. Thanks to Brady's season-ending knee injury in 2008 when Bernard Pollard hit him low in the first game of the season, the NFL has went out of its way to protect QB's like sacred cows. Brady's constant whining for roughing calls also makes it hard to root for him and there are Raiders fans still bitter that Brady introduced us to the "Tuck Rule". If you want to say it's unfair for holding the last two Super Bowls against Brady, so be it. If Brady isn't 0-2 against the Giants in the Super Bowl, this isn't even a debate. Tom Brady should be a five-time Super Bowl champion. Instead, he can settle for a seat atop the QB mountain. For now.

Super Bowl XLVI Predictions

2012-02-05T12:58:00.004-05:00

By now, you've read all the stories. You've listened to all the hyperbole from, as Gabe refers to them, the talking haircuts. So, why don't we just skip the preamble and get right to it.

Patriots. Giants. Super Bowl 46. Who ya got!?

Giants (+2.5) vs. Patriots (in Indianapolis)

Dave: Patriots - This game has everything to do with 2007.....and nothing at all. We can sit here and debate forever whether Eli Manning would have his Super Bowl ring if not for that lucky David Tyree helmet catch. What's done is done. This is a different Patriots team than the 18-0 bunch that waltzed into Phoenix five years ago. The team is less reliant on the deep ball, mainly because they no longer have a deep threat. Still, the Patriots will go into Indy not forgetting that they came within a pubic hair of becoming the first undefeated champion in three decades. They haven't forgotten that this is the team that denied them perfection. Bill Belichick has had two weeks to remind his team of what we already know: To beat the Giants, New England must get pressure on Eli Manning while also keep their own golden boy untouched. The latter will be accomplished by getting the ball out quickly to guys like Aaron Hernandez and Wes Welker with some Danny Woodhood coming out of the flats mixed in. I mentioned in my preview that I think Chad Ochocinco comes out of hiding and I still believe in that possibility, provided the offensive line can withstand this Big Blue front four. As for the former, that's going to be a bit more difficult. The Patriots don't have a legit pass rusher and the secondary isn't exactly stout either. Belichick is going to have to get crafty with the guys he has and that means NT Vince Wilfork is going to need another huge game clogging up the line like he did against Baltimore.

This game is going to be a shootout and if you had to place a bet on any defense being able to force any offense to turn the ball over, you'd bet on the Giants getting the best of the Patriots here. Still, my gut says New England has gotten tired of all the hype over this Giants pass rush and Eli Manning's quest for his second ring and they have something in store for the boys in blue. This game comes down to the final drive with Tom Brady, in the performance of his life, leading the charge downfield for the game-winning field goal. Patriots by 3, 38-35.

Gabe: Giants - Of course I'm going to take the Giants, but here's why: I think this is going to be a close game. I'm really worried about the psychology of the Patriots. They want revenge for Super Bowl XLII. For two weeks they have been hearing from everyone that the Giants are going to win. Then there was the fiasco with the Giants website taking pre-orders for Super Bowl Championship gear. The Pats have every reason in the world to want to win this game, and that is a dangerous position for their opponents.

I don't think the Pats' mindset will matter, because, as my friend Henri (the smartest football fan I know) said to me this morning, Tom Brady is a giant vagina. He can't handle pressure. He doesn't move will in the pocket. He hates having defensive lineman at his ankles. The Pats don't really have a running game. The Giants can force them into passing situations and then unleash that defensive line.

This will be a high scoring game. I think the Giants take the lead late and hold on. Giants by 4, 31-27.

Give 'Em Something To Talk About

2012-02-05T10:55:00.010-05:00

BoomRoastedSports' picks for tonight's Super Bowl will be coming to you in the coming hours but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure which route Gabe(a diehard Giants fan) and myself(someone who has downplayed the Giants all season and wrote an entire blog confessing his dislike for Eli Manning) are going. Before both of us give you our takes on who we think will win and why, I'm offering up some predictions and things to look out for tonight since the last two weeks of media coverage of Super Sunday have almost exclusively been dedicated to Rob Gronkowski's ankle. First, a quick non-Super Bowl related rant.

Every year, we always anticipate big names being left off the list of guys who get the call to Canton for the NFL Hall of Fame. Even with six names selected every year, there's always somebody well-deserving who gets left out. For years, guys like John Stallworth and Art Monk waited and waited before finally getting in. With Stallworth and Monk now in, the waiting game will now be played by fellow legendary wideouts Cris Carter and Andre Reed. The Reed and Carter snubs are horrible especially Carter, who was one of the five best receivers to ever play the game. The snub I'm most annoyed about? Bill Parcells.

Parcells' credentials are well-documented. He took over teams in New York(both the Giants AND the Jets), New England and Dallas and made them substantially better. He won two Super Bowl rings and there are few coaches in the past three decades that were better on draft day than The Tuna. In Parcells' era, there were maybe two coaches who could even be mentioned in the same breath as him: Bill Walsh and Joe Gibbs(both in Canton). Making matters more frustrating, the Hall came calling for former Jets/Patriots RB Curtis Martin last night, a man who was drafted and coached by......wait for it....wait for it.....Bill Parcells. Martin himself has gone on the record to say that he owes his career to Parcells for giving him an opportunity after Parcells drafted Martin out of the University of Pittsburgh with a 3rd round pick in 1995. Martin is just one of many names that Parcells molded into a star. Parcells made Jeff Hostetler relevant after Hostetler came off the bench for an injured Phil Simms to win a Super Bowl in 1990. More recently than that, Parcells gave a shot to an unknown quarterback out of Eastern Illinois named Tony Romo. You could build Pro Bowl rosters with the list of guys Parcells drafted and developed in his four stops in the NFL. Sure, Parcells bounced around a lot but it says something about the man that he managed to come in, take over a team, and make them a contender almost instantaneously. Parcells took a Cowboys team that had won 15 games in 3 years and brought them to the playoffs with Quincy Carter at QB. That alone should have gotten him the nod. Furthermore, the two coaches going head-to-head in tonight's Super Bowl are disciples from the Parcells coaching tree.....and they have four rings combined.

Instead, Parcells will probably wait til next year to get inducted. Except in 2013, he'll be up against some heavy hitters. As if holdovers Carter, Reed, Charles Haley, Tim Brown, Jerome Bettis, and Kevin Greene weren't daunting enough, the first-year candidates for next year include two all-world offensive linemen in Jonathan Ogden and Larry Allen, a couple Super Bowl-winning pass rushers on the D-line in Michael Strahan and Warren Sapp as well as the late Steve McNair. Parcells should have been a shoe-in to make it on his first try but the voters dropped the ball. Getting in next year just got a lot harder for The Tuna, but it wouldn't be the first time Parcells has emerged victorious from a difficult situation.

On to some thoughts on the Super Bowl.....

For a rematch of one of the greatest Super Bowls in recent memory, the buzz seems to be rather ho-hum. You could chalk that up to the fact that both teams have coaches who won't allow their teams to provide bulletin board material. You could say it's because both QB's, Eli Manning and Tom Brady, are masters of cliche and do interviews as if they are reading off cue cards. It could also be because both teams lack a Shannon Sharpe or Deion Sanders type outgoing personality to make this a more entertaining lead-up to the big game. In an odd but not surprising turn of events, Eli's brother Peyton, who played all of zero snaps this season, got as much press these last two weeks for his eventual upheaval from Indianapolis and possible retirement as the little brother poised to win his second Super Bowl in five years. In fairness, the game is being played in Peyton's backyard but you would think the NFL would have the Colts table all the Peyton talk until after the Super Bowl. The overhyped tiff between Peyton and owner Jim Irsay could have waited a few weeks while the NFL attempted to drum up interest in the final game of a season that got off to a turbulent start.

Brady vs. Manning II should be more thrilling than the first showdown for a number of reasons. The most obvious reason is the fact that, New York's pass rush not withstanding, both defenses are pretty lackluster. The Patriots' defense struggled to pressure opposing QB's even with top pass rusher Andre Carter bringing the pain. Now that Carter is out for the year, the Pats' only hope at slowing opposing passing offenses is good coverage from their myriad of young and talented defensive backs. On the other side, we know Big Blue can get after the QB. That's because the Giants' secondary is so weak, they need that elite front four to make things miserable for quarterbacks. By all intents and purposes, this game will be a shootout with the Giants' big three at wide receiver(Hakeem Nicks, Mario Manningham and Victor Cruz) having a distinct advantage over the Patriots' secondary and the Patriots hopefully learning their lesson the second time around and ditching the deep ball that they fell in love with during the Randy Moss era and instead going back to the quick pass, play-it-safe, dink-and-dunk routine with guys like Gronkowski, fellow TE Aaron Hernandez and WR Wes Welker.

If there's an "unsung hero" to watch out for, it's Welker. Lost in Gronkowski's breakout season was the fact that Welker caught 122 passes for nearly 1,600 yards and 9 touchdowns. Nobody is better at finding a crack in the defense and getting open than Wes Welker and if there's a dark horse for Super Bowl MVP, he'd be my choice. If you're looking for a David Tyree-type, out of nowhere guy who has his Super Bowl moment, my guess is name you heard of: Chad Ochocinco. Ocho has stunk up the joint all season as he's shown a lack of commitment to learning the playbook or even running routes correctly but the team showed a little bit of faith in Chad by cutting fellow receiver Tiquan Underwood a day before the Super Bowl to open the door for Ochocinco. Nobody on either team loves the spotlight than Chad Ochocinco and Pro Bowl wideouts like him don't just suddenly forget how to play football. If Ochocinco was going to make an impact on the 2011 New England Patriots, why wouldn't it be today on the biggest stage possible when everyone leasts expects it?

As for the Giants, tight end Jake Ballard is worth watching here. Patriots coach Bill Belichick is smart enough to not let New York's receivers run amok but Ballard has proven to be Eli's safety valve when things get tight. Every Super Bowl has that one guy nobody expects to score a touchdown, be it a guy like Gary Russell or Greg Lewis. My gut tells me Ballard finds the end zone early for the Giants.

Keys for the Patriots: Establish the run. You don't need to be Vince Lombardi to know that, if the opposing defense excels at rushing the passer but is 19th against the run, you should probably utilize the ground game. The Packers gashed the Giants for a few big runs in the Divisional round but, Green Bay being a pass-heavy team and going into panic mode after being down a couple scores, they abandoned the run in favor of trying to get that vaunted pass attack going. The Patriots' best chances of avenging their 2007 defeat will be if they go to the run game early with BenJarvus Green-Ellis and Danny Woodhead early and keep this Giants' defense on its toes.

The other key? Pressuring Eli Manning. The Packers were torn apart by Manning because they didn't have a pass rush beyond Clay Matthews. The one time they got in Eli's face, however, they forced an interception. The next week, in San Francisco, the Niners kept the game close by constantly getting in Eli's face and hitting him every chance they got. Manning showed great resiliency for a guy who cried his way off the Chargers in 2004(Sorry, couldn't resist) and took an absolute beating from the Niners. The Patriots' defense, by the numbers and on paper, are somewhere in between Green Bay and San Fran's D(statistically, they are better than the Packers but, talent-wise, they are nowhere close to the Niners) and, even though the Patriots can match New York score-for-score, the Pats' can't afford to go into a shootout with this Giants' defensive line constantly coming at them.

Key for the Giants: Stick to the 2007 script. The key to beating New England hasn't changed since New York thwarted New England's perfect season five years ago. You get pressure on Tom Brady and smack him in the mouth, you have a good chance at winning. The Patriots' offensive line is a bit better than it was the last time these two met for the Lombardi, but it's hardly a brick wall. That being said, the Giants' pass rush has a younger, more athletic alternative to Michael Strahan from Super Bowl 42. His name is Jason Pierre-Paul.

JPP is the unquestioned biggest mouth on this Giants defense and this is the game he needs to put up or shut up. He made good on his guarantee to beat Green Bay but the best way to punctuate a great breakout season is to leave your dent in the Super Bowl. On offense, much has been said about the Giants' passing attack, but don't forget that the Giants have an underrated one-two punch in the run game with Ahmad Bradshaw and Brandon Jacobs. Both men played a small part in 2007. This time around, they should grab a bigger piece of the pie.

FIVE FEARLESS PREDICTIONS FOR SUPER BOWL 46

1. Aaron Hernandez will have more catches than Rob Gronkowski: With no real stories to report, the media made Gronkowski's recovery from a high ankle sprain seem like he's trying to come back from a torn ACL. Gronk went from being the next Shannon Sharpe to the next Willis Reed in the span of two weeks. We know Gronkowski is going to be a factor tonight, which is why the Giants will game plan for that. Hernandez's best games come when teams overcompensate on trying to stop Gronkowski. Hernandez also gets a few touches in the run game. If I had to gamble on one tight end to be the bigger star tonight, I'll take the guy who hasn't got a shred of credit the last two weeks over the hobbled superfreak whom the opposing defense will be dying to stop.

Put me down for 6 catches, 72 yards and a score for Aaron Hernandez with Gronkowski adding four catches for 63 yards.

2. Kelly Clarkson will be worse as the National Anthem singer than Christina Aguilera was last year: Christina Aguilera got more press than she needed by botching the national anthem on the most watched show of the year. I don't think Clarkson makes the same mistake. That being said, Clarkson is legendary for being a horrible live performer. With the world watching, Clarkson won't have fancy producers to hide her subpar vocal chops.

Look, I like Kelly Clarkson. I think she's a sweet girl. I also know she's not the second coming of Whitney Houston. The nerves and the need to capture a moment like this(yup, that was intentional) will expose her flaws as a singer. If a world-class vocalist like Aguilera can get the jitters and sound like Cyndi Lauper on the big stage, why can't a glorified Mouseketeer like Clarkson?

While we're on the subject of musical performances at the Super Bowl....

3. Madonna will do something to try to steal the show and renew her 15 minutes of fame during her halftime show: Madonna has promised there will be no "wardrobe malfunctions" like what happened to Janet Jackson a few years ago, which led to the NFL pulling its halftime acts from the rotation of VH1 Classic.

Still, Madonna rose to glory in the 80's and 90's by being the quintessential sex symbol of her generation. She's also more washed up than seaweed. What better way to grab some limelight than doing something a bit risque with millions of eyes on her. Lest we forget, this is the same woman who dry-humped the stage in a wedding dress and tongue-kissed Britney Spears at two separate MTV Video Music Awards so that she could grab a few headlines. There's no doubt the NFL and producers will keep Madonna on a tight leash, but there's no accounting for what the Material Girl once she's out on stage with the cameras rolling.

4. Tom Brady will put on the performance of his life: In the eight years that have passed since Brady won his last ring, here's what's happened on his watch: His rival, Peyton Manning, won his first ring. Peyton's brother, Eli, bested Brady and ruined a 19-0 season by winning his first ring and pulling off the biggest Super Bowl upset in recent memory. Ben Roethlisberger went to three Super Bowls, winning two while possibly raping two women and nearly dying once in between. Aaron Rodgers and Drew Brees both won Super Bowls while also stealing Brady's title as "the best QB in the game". More importantly, Brady has spent the last two weeks with highlights of that Super Bowl 42 loss on an endless loop. You don't think Brady, a man who has spent his entire career tearing up defenses like he has a personal vendetta, will be playing this game with a chip on his shoulder? You don't think he wants to erase the taste of 2007 by sticking it to this heralded Giants pass rush and putting up Madden numbers against the team that denied him his perfect season? You don't think Brady relishes the opportunity to tie his childhood idol, Joe Montana, with four Super Bowl rings?

Brady and Patriots have proven they won't make the same mistake twice. They also have proven that they are willing to make a statement, if need be. They swept a Jets team that knocked them out of the playoffs last year. The avenged a early season come-from-behind loss to Buffalo by slaughtering the Bills in Week 17. They ran up the score against Denver in the Divisional round because they, like many of us, got tired of hearing about the greatness of Tim Tebow. They got physical with Baltimore in the AFC Championship because all they heard about is how the Ravens have their number. If the Patriots opened 2012 with a list of teams they want to get revenge on, then Eli's Giants will be the last name to cross off. Given how they've handled this whole season, why should we believe the Patriots won't put on a record-setting show with Tom Terrific leading the way?

5. Your Super Bowl MVP will be......Tom Brady: I think Wes Welker has a chance to win this one much like Deion Branch did the last time the Pats won it all, but it's hard to say "Brady will have an all-time performance" and then say he won't win MVP. All Brady did this season was break Dan Marino's passing record with 5,235 passing yards, but Drew Brees passed for more so he got all the credit. All Brady did was lead his team to its fifth Super Bowl in 12 years, but he sat back and watched Rodgers and Brees claim MVP and Offensive Player of the Year while they sat at home eliminated from the playoffs. All Brady has heard about is how Eli Manning has emerged as one of the game's best quarterbacks. In a odd way, the emergence of guys like Rodgers, Brees, Manning, Tebow and Matt Stafford has made Tom Brady....dare I say.....underrated. A lot of that has to do with the fact that Brady lost this matchup five years ago so the idea that we should never doubt Tom Brady in the Super Bowl has gone away. Brady has a chance to right the media's wrongs and climb back to the top of the mountain by besting the guy who started Brady's downward spiral(if you can call it that). In a lot of ways, this is 2001 all over again. Brady enters the Super Bowl with something to prove against a heavily-publicized Super Bowl winning QB looking for his second ring in a short span. I said it before, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who I'm leaning towards tonight. My money's on Tom Brady putting on a show for the ages and crossing that last name off his list.

Most Hated

2012-02-01T11:30:00.008-05:00

Even the most moderate of sports fans have athletes they can't stand for whatever reason. It could be because they are a known jackass(Barry Bonds, Terrell Owens, Sean Avery, Floyd Mayweather Jr.). They might play for your team's rival(Using my teams as examples: Chase Utley, Ryan Howard, Jay Cutler, Brian Urlacher). They might have done some unsavory things off the field(Plaxico Burress, Kobe Bryant, Ben Roethlisberger, Mike Vick, Brett Favre, Gilbert Arenas). You might disagree with their views(Josh Howard, Tim Tebow). Perhaps the over-saturation of coverage on these particular athletes rubs you the wrong way(Pretty much any quarterback but especially Tebow, LeBron James). They might have left your team on bad terms(Again, using my teams as an example: David Justice, Favre again, Larry "Grandmama" Johnson, Cullen Jenkins).

This Sunday's Super Bowl will be a rematch between two quarterbacks, one of which now finds himself on the top of my personal list of athletes I despise the most. The answer might surprise you(or might not, if you knew me personally).

With Favre retired and Tiki Barber(both the previous leaders in the clubhouse for my ire) being treated by NFL teams like movie directors treat Skeet Ulrich, there's a new face for the Leonardis dart board: New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning. Now, Giants fans like Gabe will claim by dislike of Eli is a byproduct of bitterness from Eli and company derailing two potential Packer Super Bowl runs. I'd be lying to you if I said that doesn't play a small part of it. Others might ask "but what about Tom Brady? Lots of people can't stand him." Duely noted. I don't hate Tom Brady. Men dislike Tom Brady for a multitude of reasons. He's kind of a sissy in how he whines to officials when defenders come anywhere close to hitting him after he releases the ball. Since dating Gisele, he's reformed himself into a Calvin Klein model who also moonlights as a QB. He's kind of robotic in his interviews. We dislike Tom Brady for the same reasons non-Yankee fans dislike Derek Jeter or most soccer fans despise David Beckham: He's rich, talented and he's a winner who also bangs hot chicks. Still, Brady's rise to glory from a unknown 6th round pick out of Michigan to a three-time Super Bowl champ and one of the greatest QB's of all time is a good enough story to give him the benefit of the doubt for the fact that he's a closet metrosexual whose image seems scripted by the writers of "Sex and the City".

Manning tops my list because, with his older brother in the twilight of his career and thus ignored from the spotlight beyond clamoring for his retirement, he's become a bit overrated. I get it. He's on the verge of winning a second Super Bowl ring, which would put him up there with John Elway and move him into a tie for 2nd among active QB's for most Super Bowl rings. Lest we forget, the same fans who spout off corny phrases like "You can't spell elite without Eli" were ready to throw mini-Peyton out on his ass prior to the 2007 playoffs. Here's another thing that seems to have been forgotten: His spoiled brat routine at the 2004 NFL Draft when he refused to play for the San Diego Chargers(who drafted him #1 overall) which inevitably led to him forcing his way to New York. We can debate for days whether the Giants would be every bit as successful these last eight years had they kept Phillip Rivers instead of trading for Eli(I sent that question to Gabe and I have yet to get a response. Stay tuned). What's not up for debate is that Manning stomping his feet, crossing his arms and hiding behind his daddy to keep him out of San Diego was a complete dick move. The same way Elway forcing his way out of Baltimore and into Denver was a dick move. The same way Steve Francis refusing to go to Vancouver(now Memphis) and working his way onto the Houston Rockets on draft day was a dick move. College standouts, regardless if their last name is Manning or Gbaja-Biamila, who haven't earned squat in the NFL shouldn't have the right to dictate where they go. I'd be willing to give Eli a slight pardon had he a. gave a legit reason for not wanting to go to San Diego(and, really, why wouldn't you want to live in San Diego if you're young, rich and single? I've lived in the Tri-State area for two decades. Nothing against New York but the traffic sucks, the winters are much more brutal than they are in California and, sorry New Yorkers, but the ladies aren't nearly as pretty) or b. apologized to the city of San Diego as well as Chargers fans.

It amazes me how that story doesn't get brought up enough, especially in the week leading up to the two Super Bowls Manning has appeared in. That would be my first question on Media Day.

"Yes, Eli, do you feel like you owe the city of San Diego and Chargers fans an apology for how you kicked and screamed your way to New York on Draft Day?"

If Manning's hissy-fit bothers me, imagine how fans of the Bolts must feel. Three franchise QB's walked into the green room on Draft Day in 2004, two of them have been to the Super Bowl at least twice(with one winning twice in three tries and the other attempting to go 2-for-2) while the third has never been past the AFC Championship. Guess who ended up with the third one? That's right. San Diego. Sure, Chargers fans have to be thankful that Philip Rivers hasn't been a total bust but it has to stick in their craw a little bit that the guy who should be winning Super Bowls for them plays elsewhere and, on top of that, used his high-profile bloodlines to get there. All of this talk about Peyton's little brother and Peyton's chief rival doing battle in "The House That Peyton Built"....how about some condolences for the fan base that got screwed the most out of this whole ordeal?

In an era of social media and talking heads blasting athletes for being me-first divas, how, in a week where there is literally nothing to talk about beyond the busted ankle of a tight end, are we not giving this story more attention? If Cam Newton announced he didn't want to play for Carolina and someone manipulated a trade to, say, Baltimore and a few years later, he leads the Ravens to the Super Bowl, everyone would go nuts. Skip Bayless would have a seizure on that unwatchable spitfest of his. Colin Cowherd would be apoplectic! Do we give Eli a pass because he's a member of the First Family of Football? Or, like we've done with so many other athletes, does winning give us a classic excuse to sweep this under the rug?

Holding a grudge after eight years for demanding a trade may seem pithy but there's something to be said about a man who believes he's above the system because he comes from good stock. Eli Manning is no different from any other college snot who has been soaked in entitlement and fame. He's also no different from any other college athlete.....except nobody bothered to tell him that on that faithful April afternoon in 2004. Eli Manning should be a San Diego Charger, in my eyes. You can choose to ignore it because the trade worked out well for both sides but it's hard to see Eli's smug face as the poster child for New York football and as someone who will be showered with all kinds of superlatives if he's victorious on Sunday and not be a wee bit ticked that he was allowed to carve a path that other rookies either haven't dared or hadn't had the ability to carve.

We all have our reasons to cast our disdain for certain athletes or celebrities or even people in general. They might not be just. They may be petty. They may even come from jealousy or bitterness. But if hating Eli Manning for pissing on the Chargers is wrong, then I don't want to be right.

Doomed

2012-01-30T13:04:00.009-05:00

If the Dwight Howard-Orlando Magic saga has a familiar ring to it, it's because we've seen this movie before. In fact, we were in this exact situation a year ago with a young superstar whose contract was up at the end of the season who had dreams of greener pastures elsewhere, but was held captive longer than need-be because his current team wasn't sure how to handle the situation. For the first half of the 2011 NBA season, the Denver Nuggets suffered through the "Melo-drama" of Carmelo Anthony's murky future in the Rockies.

It wasn't until February 21, 2011 that things finally found a resolution. That was the day Denver agreed to give 'Melo his wish and trade him to the New York Knicks in one of the rare panic trades that worked out for both sides. The Nuggets got a future star in Danilo Gallinari as well as some much-needed cap relief(which allowed them to retain Nene this past offseason), while the Knicks got the second coming of Bernard King as their new franchise poster child.

You would think, after years of being around the game, front office suits like Magic GM Otis Smith would understand that, when a player wants out, you get him out. The Hornets understood that concept prior to the start of this season, which is why they worked steadfast in moving an unhappy Chris Paul to the Clippers. Hell, the Hornets worked so hard on granting Paul his wish, they actually managed to work two trades out in the short time span between the end of the lockout and the opening tip on Christmas: a very good trade with the Lakers that was unjustifiably shut down by the league office and the equally good deal with the Clippers that David Stern inevitably signed off on. The Magic, however, either due to ignorance and incompetence or because the right deal hasn't presented itself haven't been as fortunate as New Orleans. The result, as with Denver prior to the Anthony trade, has been a predictable one so far. The Magic are 12-8, good for 6th in a weak Eastern conference, and are in the midst of a three-game losing streak that includes blowing a 27-point lead in a loss to Boston(who had beat Orlando by 31 points three nights prior, mind you), a 26-point loss to an Eric Gordon-less Hornets team and last night's 21-point drubbing at the hands of the Indiana Pacers.

Following the beatdown by the Hornets, Howard let his frustration out publicly, questioning the desire of his fellow teammates. As justified as Howard's anger was, what can you really expect from a team faced with constant question about it's biggest star's future. How can you expect your cohorts to give their all when you are making plans for your own departure behind closed doors? You can't denounce your supporting cast when you've spent the last two months telling the world you'd rather be somewhere else because these guys aren't doing it for me. I'll give Howard some credit for not going the LeBron route and duping fans into thinking he's staying while internally knowing he was leaving at the end of the season and it's not like Howard hasn't given Orlando everything it needs to make a deal. That's where the blame falls upon Otis Smith and company. You have Dwight's wish list of teams he wants to play for in your hands. What's the holdup? I get it. You don't want to deal Howard before the All-Star Game in Orlando and have him come back to town in another team's uniform. That's understandable....to an extent. For one, at the end of the day, you're still trading the best center in the league and a 26-year old franchise cornerstone that was supposed to make Magic fans forget about losing Shaq 16 years ago. Whether you deal him now or in three weeks, you'll still be remembered as "the front office that had to trade Superman because they couldn't build a team around him". It will be awhile before those wounds heal in Orlando and, while Howard coming to Orlando for the All-Star Game as a Net or Laker or Maverick certainly rubs salt in those wounds, the damage is done either way. Secondly, with Howard already pissed over his team's play, this situation is only going to get uglier and, as we've seen with front offices faced with ugly public situations(read: The Lakers and Lamar Odom a month ago), that only increases the chances of a trade being rushed together and the Magic getting less than fair value for the best defensive big man in the game.

According to ESPN's Ric Bucher, the New Jersey/Brooklyn Nets are the frontrunners to land Howard once fellow young center Brook Lopez returns from a broken foot. If that's really true, then I shake my head. Don't get me wrong. If Howard's arrival to the Nets convinced Deron Williams to stay in NJ/Brooklyn, then it's worth the price. But look at things from Orlando's side. You're trading a 26-year old perennial MVP candidate for a guy coming off a broken foot whom the team clearly didn't think was going to develop that much because they are waiting for him to get healthy so they can deal him rather than build around him. Rookie guard Marshon Brooks, a dark horse for the Rookie of the Year this year and someone the Nets will almost certainly include in a deal for Doomsday, just broke his toe and will be sidelined as well. So, the Magic will be acquiring two broken parts as the centerpiece in a deal that would send a man who's never had a serious injury in his career out of town. Does the mind not rebel at any point when reading that last paragraph?

The other teams on Howard's wish list would seem to be better options for Orlando solely because they are all in another conference(except for Dwight's newest addition to the list, Chicago, whom the Magic can't compete with now even with Howard on the roster): Both Los Angeles teams(Lakers and Clippers, incase you're slow) and the Dallas Mavericks. A Chris Paul-Dwight Howard tag team would be fun to watch but it would almost certianly come at the expense of current Lob City partner Blake Griffin. The Clippers already shot all their ammo in the deal to bring CP3 to the Left Coast, the only other pieces they have to move are Griffin(quickly emerging into one of the game's best inside presences) and DeAndre Jordan(who can't be traded until March 1, assuming they get DeAndre's consent in the first place, per league rules). Jordan is 23 and Griffin is 22. Obviously, a haul like that trumps anything any of the other potential suitors can offer but how does that make sense for the Clippers? Jordan's becoming a rising star as a shotblocker and Griffin is already one of the three or four best power forwards in the game and an absolute double-double machine(currently averaging 21 and 11 midway into just his second season). On top of that, you're getting Griffin at a discount as he's still signed to his rookie deal. What does Howard bring to the table that Jordan and Griffin aren't already bringing combined at three and fours years younger, respectively?

How about Dallas? Who do the Mavericks have that the Magic could take back and build around? Roddy Beaubois? Dominique Jones? You're not getting Dirk. Hell, you probably won't get nothing beyond a Shawn Marion/Vince Carter/Brendan Haywood poo-poo platter. How enticing does that sound, Magic fans?

Now, the Bulls are very intriguing. The Bulls have a lot of young guys like Joakim Noah, Luol Deng, Taj Gibson, Jimmy Butler, Omar Asik, etc. The problem with that is, if Chicago was unwilling to agree to a trade centered around Noah a year ago for Anthony, why would they make that deal now for Howard? As with the Clippers and Griffin/Jordan, what can Howard do that the duo of Noah and Carlos Boozer can't? Is it an upgrade? Sure, but not a huge one and certainly not worth trading so many pieces of a good, young core.

That leaves only the Lakers left. I did some tinkering around and came up with a trade that makes sense for everyone(Disclaimer: I'm almost 100% sure the trade I'm about to propose has been pitched on another website by another writer in some variance. There's a million blogs out there. Eventually, we're going to write the same sentence. Though, the fact that this trade might have appeared in another place earlier in time makes it even more foolish on the Magic's part for it not getting done). The main concept behind a Lakers trade for Howard is pretty much rehashing the failed three-way trade the Lakers had in place with Houston and New Orleans for Chris Paul, except with Howard replacing Paul and Andrew Bynum replacing the now-departed Lamar Odom with a few spare parts I threw in just for one. Now, I'm sure some salary number-cruncher is going to look this over and say "That can't work". Fine. You want to pick nits, have at it.

The Trade: Lakers acquire center Dwight Howard as well as point guard Jonny Flynn from Houston, Houston sends forward Luis Scola to L.A. while also sending center Hasheem Thabeet and guard Kevin Martin to Orlando. The Magic also acquire Andrew Bynum from the Lakers, who would send Pau Gasol to Houston. The Magic would also send Hedo Turkoglu's disgustingly bad contract to Houston, along with guard J.J. Redick.

Again, you can mix and match however you like and change the spare parts if you feel the need but the biggest components of the deal(Howard, Bynum, Martin, Gasol, Scola) are what's important.

Why This Trade Works For The Lakers: You can make the same case for Bynum/Gasol that you could for Griffin/Jordan and Noah/Boozer with the exception of a couple key points. One, even the most jaded Lakers fan couldn't tell you with a straight face they aren't worried about Bynum's knees. He's a slightly more durable Greg Oden. Yes, Bynum's a couple years younger than Howard. Yes, going from Gasol to Scola is a bit of a downgrade but Scola and Howard bring to the table what Gasol and Bynum don't: durability, physicality and toughness(And, if you want to counter this argument with "Well, Bynum showed his toughness by getting physical with J.J. Barea in last year's playoffs", first you should punch yourself in the nuts and then I would counter with Bynum's clothesline on Barea is actually the antithesis of tough. It was a bitch move. It was an immature 7-footer unable to handle the piping hot plate of ass-whooping his team was being dealt and taking his frustrations out on someone half his size. My wife is taller than J.J. Barea. Tyson-Givens was more a fight than Bynum-Barea. Knock it off). Scola might not possess the rebounding numbers that Gasol has but Bynum doesn't possess the rebounding numbers that Howard has, so it draws even. Scola is also a banger inside, something Gasol(despite his gaudy rebounding numbers) is not.

The biggest plus for giving up on Bynum and Gasol here is that Howard puts asses in seats. Are you buying Lakers tickets to see Andrew Bynum? Would you call Pau Gasol "must see TV"? Of course not. Howard has the look, the smile, the personality and the resume to pick up right where Shaq left off when "The Diesel" left Hollywood and Howard's humble enough to not get into a pissing contest with Kobe over whose team it is. Furthermore, the Lakers would also get a young point man in Flynn, who might be a bust as a lottery pick but has to be an upgrade over Derek Fisher's rotting corpse and Steve Blake almost by default.

Why The Trade Works For Houston: Kevin Martin is no more capable of being a star than Turkoglu or Redick are. He's a fine shooter with an ugly form who knows how to put up numbers on bad teams. He's a guard version of Chris Bosh. Houston's success throughout its history has been predicated on having a good big man. It was the case during the Ralph Sampson era then when Hakeem Olajuwon came to town and most recently with the drafting of Yao Ming in 2002. The Rockets have made it no secret they have a hard-on for Pau and, while Gasol might not like it in Houston, going to the Rockets allows Gasol to get the respect and attention he's not getting playing second fiddle to Kobe in Laker Land. It seems like Houston is giving up a lot but keep in mind that the team probably wasn't going to keep Flynn and Thabeet(both horrendous draft busts with other teams) after this season and Martin has never and will never be the star that Gasol was or is. By moving Martin and replacing him with Redick, J.J. gets to finally crack a starting lineup and fulfill his calling as this generation's Mark Price(except slightly taller and a bit drunker). Redick has come along as the Magic's chief shooter off the bench but major minutes were always going to be tough sitting behind the Vince Carters and Jason Richardsons of the world. The Turkoglu contract is a bit steep but it's a fair price to pay when you consider what the other two teams are giving up.

Why It Works For The Magic: First and foremost, it finally ends the round-the-clock speculation and questioning over Howard's future. There's no perfect way to replace a franchise big man. It took Orlando a decade to replace Shaq. By bringing in Bynum(and even Thabeet) and putting them under the tutelage of assistant coach and future Hall of Fame center Patrick Ewing, the Magic might end up doing alright here. With Howard now officially gone, the team can focus on re-signing forward Ryan Anderson, who's having a career season in his contract year(always a red flag, but whatever) and the Magic could still contend with a Bynum-Anderson-Richardson-Martin-Nelson, especially with the Howard headache out of the way. If Ewing can salvage Thabeet and turn him into even something slightly resembling the "next Dikembe Mutombo" billing he had coming out of college, then he's worth the risk. If not, he's a free agent at the end of the year anyway. Obviously, the hope for Orlando is that Bynum's knees stay in tact. If he continues to break down, then it's back to the drawing board. Still, at least you got something in return.

Look, it's not a perfect deal but it's an idea. Sure, there's going to be reluctance by the Magic to see their poster child center in the purple and gold yet again but that's the breaks. Much like the Cavs with LeBron, the team had years to build a winner around their young cornerstone and failed thanks to bad trades and foolish signings. Much like the Cavs and LeBron, the team thought that an NBA Finals appearance, albeit an unsuccessful one, would give their franchise player a sign of what might come and convince him to stick around. Much like the Cavs and LeBron, that theory was flawed and they'll watch said franchise player exit stage left. There are plenty of precedents here for the Magic to learn from and not follow suit. The Hornets went about this same issue the right way. The Nuggets did not but eventually recovered. The Cavs couldn't have handled it any worse(though, could you imagine the riots in Cleveland had the Cavs actually traded LeBron prior to "The Decision"). Basketball isn't rocket science, despite all the fancy numbers and the hiring of big brains like Rockets GM Daryl Morey. Sometimes, to build a winner, all you need is luck, timing and some common sense.

The writing is on the wall for the Orlando Magic. It's not written in invisible ink. Dwight Howard has to go. Dwight Howard wants to go.

No good comes from delaying the inevitable. Just ask Nuggets fans before February 21, 2011.

Knowing When To Walk Away

2012-01-25T10:00:00.004-05:00

The history of sports is littered with stories of athletes who hung around the game too long. Tales of guys who tried to squeeze that last ounce out of their career running off sheer bravado and ignorance. Tragedies of once-great icons who sacrificed a life after to put thirty more seconds on that fifteen minutes of fame.

If Peyton Manning is the cerebral assassin that many have given him credit for being, he won't become of those stories. Instead of contemplating signing with the Jets, Dolphins or Redskins, Manning should instead consider spending his 2012 and beyond taking a job with either FOX, NBC or CBS. Peyton Manning will be 36 in two months. He's coming off a season where he played less snaps than Jake Delhomme, who was signed off the street in the last month of the season. He's had three neck surgeries in two years and he finds himself on the active roster(for now) of a Indianapolis Colts that is, to say the least, in a state of rebuilding. Manning has made enough money in his fourteen years in the NFL and from endorsements that he could swim in cash like Scrooge McDuck.

If Peyton Manning continues on with his football career, it will be more of a matter of pride and foolishness than a sign of a man with something to prove. With a Super Bowl ring, four MVPs, eleven Pro Bowl appearances and more records than a hoarder's basement, Manning has nothing left to show us to convince he's one of the greatest signal callers to ever throw on a pair of cleats. Manning spent an entire year listening and watching. He listened to talk of Andrew Luck coming to town as his heir apparent and he watched his team come within a spirited December performance away from going 0-16. What Manning should be listening to now is the advice of his doctors who, if they are smart, will tell him that the violent game of football is too dangerous for a man on the wrong side of thirty with more swelling in his neck than Tony Siragusa. What Manning should have been watching all year is the number of quarterbacks who were ushered off the field from hits from defenders whose sole purpose is to lay them out. Manning should have watched last week's NFC Championship game and saw the punishment his little brother Eli took from the San Francisco 49ers and then realized that maybe life in the NFL isn't for him anymore.

Or perhaps Manning, a infamous student of the game, should have done a little more homework and studied some guys within and outside of his sport. Perhaps Manning should have taken a long look at the final years of fellow future Hall of Fame QB Brett Favre, who overstayed his welcome by about two years and put the finishing touches on his career in the most painful and embarrassing of circumstances. Maybe Manning should take a peak at Muhammad Ali these days, who is a shell of the man once known as "The Greatest" because he fought much longer than he had to because pride and greed told him he should. How about taking a gander at the greatest athlete of our generation, Michael Jordan, and checking out those final two years in Washington when he needed ice packs the size of Horace Grant to quell the swelling in his aching knees. Is that how Peyton wants to write his final chapter, broken and downtrodden? Is the thrill of another attempt at being great worth the potential danger to his future health that comes with it? What's left for him to prove? Where can he really go and still compete?

At this point, the question Peyton must ask is why would he continue to play? If it's for a ring, where can he possibly go for one last chance at the Lombardi? Every contender these days is set at QB and the ones that aren't(Jets, Dolphins, Chiefs) are far too dysfunctional for even a healthy Manning to fix. The QB climate isn't what it was a few years ago when a team like the New York Jets took a chance on an aging-but-still-motivated Brett Favre hoping he was the missing piece to nab the Super Bowl trophy that has eluded them since the Joe Namath days. And even if it is, we saw how that worked out for Favre and Gang Green. The window of opportunity for Manning has shut. It shut quickly and tragically but the hope is that the crash of that window closing was loud enough for Manning to fight off all those voices in his head that his machismo is producing that is telling him he still has more left in the tank and walk away from the game while he's still fully able to.

The choice is up to Manning these next few months. He can ride off into the sunset as one of the greatest to ever play the game, enjoy his natural calling as a TV analyst and collect fat checks from endorsers who can't resist his charm in their commercials or he can bang around the game for a few more years and become another cautionary tale. The hardest part of any athlete's career isn't the physical punishment he takes or memorizing a playbook or dealing with the fans and the media, it's knowing the right time to hang 'em up and it's a lesson that most learn the hard way.

Hopefully, Peyton Manning isn't like most.

He IS Penn State

2012-01-22T11:07:00.009-05:00

The grandest tragedy is not that the world lost Joe Paterno today. The tragedy was the fundamental dismemberment of the man's legacy that took place in the months following the reveal of the Jerry Sandusky scandal to the eventual upheaval of JoePa at Happy Valley.

In a what-have-you-done-lately world, Paterno keeping quiet while one of his coaches was doing unspeakable things to some of the nation's youth somehow erased 46 years of history where Paterno stood as the face of Linebacker U and the last remaining relic of a golden era of college football. I understand it's a tough line to toe with this whole Sandusky/Paterno fiasco. If you side with JoePa, people tend to believe you support him not blowing the whistle on child molestation that was happening on his grounds. If you side with the university, you are taking a stand against the man who made it every bit as great as it is today. You are more just in opposing God at Penn State than opposing Joe Paterno. That, to me, should speak volumes for the man's legacy. Instead, no story on the life of college football's last great head coach will be complete without mentioning Jerry Sandusky or what may or may not have happened in that shower room or Paterno being unceremoniously dumped not too long after in the midst of a season where JoePa, at 85, was close to notching the Nittany Lions another Big Ten title(or Big 12, however you want to call it). We can debate for days whether Paterno deserved to go after upholding the code of silence over Sandusky's transgressions. That's not the issue at hand.

The issue is something that Darren Rovell tweeted while Paterno's life was in limbo last night: "From what we know, Joe Paterno lived 99.999% of his adult life as a noble man. Some will remember the .01%". That's why, as morbid as it sounds, death might have been the best thing to happen to Joe Paterno. He didn't need to listen to more amateurs taking pot shots at him. He didn't need to sit back while this Sandusky drama continues to unfold and more details are set to emerge. He didn't need to watch Penn State football go on without him. It's fitting that Paterno's last breaths came shortly after his last days as the poster child for Penn State football because you can't really imagine one living without the other. Now, much like the media will do after a man they've besmirched has passed on, people will rush to recant all the daggers they threw Paterno's way and speak glowingly of the man, the myth and the legend.

We saw this before after the passing of much-maligned Yankees owner George Steinbrenner. While alive, "The Boss" was everything that was wrong with how the business of baseball was being conducted, the poster child for big market teams' stranglehold over their small-market brethren. If "Moneyball" needed a face to play its villian, Steinbrenner's trademark smug scowl would have been perfect. Then, Steinbrenner died and he was remembered as the man who oversaw the greatest franchise in professional sports, the man who changed baseball and did whatever it took to win. He went from being Vince McMahon to being Vince Lombardi.

There will never be another Joe Paterno. In today's game, any coach who makes it to ten years at one school must do everything right. You make it to twenty years, you're a legend. Thirty? You're a god. Joe Paterno made it 46 years and only boy-banging kept him from making it a few more. Bob Stoops will be lucky to make it to 20 years at Oklahoma. Pete Carroll couldn't win enough at USC to avoid what was going to eventually happen to him with the Trojans. The same goes for Jim Tressel at Ohio State. We will never see 46 years of greatness at one school again. It's the Joe DiMaggio's 56-game hit streak of coaching runs. On the Mount Rushmore of coaches(in any sport), Paterno's bespeckled face should sit next to the Coach K's and Red Auerbachs of the world. Joe Paterno was the last remaining sign of an era where college football programs were represented by the coaches and not boosters or BCS bids or conference titles.

We all can choose to remember our legends differently. That's the beauty of man. I will remember Joe Paterno as a man who represented longevity at a position that has quickly become a revolving door, who brought class to a sport that lacks morals and as a man who left the game before he was ready even after giving nearly a half-century of service. Joe Paterno was a leader of men and you can't tarnish that standing with a couple scandals no matter how disturbing those scandals are.

Joe Paterno's last breaths should have been taken on Beaver Field, not after he was ushered out of it. Joe Paterno lived and died Penn State football and THAT, more than anything, is how he should always be remembered.

Who's Going To Indy?

2012-01-22T10:31:00.005-05:00

Gabe got his late Christmas present last week when his Giants, much like they did in 2007, pulled off the upset in Lambeau against my Packers. It was one of those things I saw coming almost immediately after Randall Cobb nearly fumbled away the kickoff on Green Bay's opening drive and it's a loss which, as I will write later this week, may actually make this Packers team better in the long run. Still, when you turn the ball over five times, you miss open guys on multiple occasions, and your receivers have a case of the drops, you aren't beating the San Francisco Giants, let alone the New York Giants.

Regardless, Gabe's moment in the sun could be short-lived if Big Blue doesn't handle business at The New Candlestick tonight so here is our take on today's Championship games.

LAST WEEK

Dave: 2-2

Gabe: 2-2

POSTSEASON

Gabe: 5-3

Dave: 3-5

Ravens (+7) at Patriots

Dave: Patriots - I'm picking the lesser of two evils here because I can do without Ravens fans running their mouth for the next two weeks(Pats fans are a little easier to hush because you can always fire back "18-1" at them). Baltimore has had New England's number in recent years, most notably the last time these two met in the playoffs in 2008 when Baltimore smacked New England in the mouth in Foxboro. If the Ravens are smart, they replicate that same formula by keeping the ball out of Joe Flacco's hands, letting Ray Rice carry the offense and have T-Sizzle and company tee off on Tom Brady.

The difference this time around is that the Patriots' offense no longer centers around going deep to Randy Moss and instead utilizes all-world tight ends Rob Gronkowski and Aaron Hernandez. Baltimore might be able to silence one, but not both, mainly because the pass rush is non-existent beyond Terrell Suggs. As we saw with Green Bay last week, if your pass rush is a one man show and that one man show can't apply pressure, you're going to get picked apart. Baltimore's only hope is getting out to an early lead and forcing Brady to make mistakes. If Joe Flacco has to keep up with Tom Brady this time around, you might as well punch New England's ticket to Indy by halftime. Flacco might not have killed the Ravens last week against Baltimore, but he was still dreadful. With all the turnovers Baltimore forced against Houston, the Texans shouldn't have still been in that game at the end. You can thank Flacco for that. I've said it repeatedly that Baltimore's chances of hoisting the Lombardi are contingent on Flacco being better than a sieve at QB. So far, they've benefited from drawing a 5th-round rookie in their first playoff game this season. Tom Brady's no rookie and he can smell another Super Bowl. I think Baltimore keeps New England's scoring output in the high-20's but Flacco comes up short in the end. Pats by 9.

Gabe: Patriots - I'm taking the Pats, mostly because I'd rather see my Giants play them in the Super Bowl.

Giants (+2) at Niners

Dave: Giants - As great as San Francisco's win over New Orleans last week was, a couple things should be mentioned: 1. SF blew a 17-0 lead. 2. They forced five Saints turnovers and still needed a miraculous final drive to beat the Saints by 4. 3. The Giants' D is a lot better than the Saints' D. Granted, the Niners' D is much better than Green Bay's and LB's Aldon Smith and Patrick Willis are going to make things much more difficult than Clay Matthews and company did last week. Still, much like Flacco vs. NE today, the Niners' chances of advancing are going to come down once again to Alex Smith being able to go score-for-score with another prolific QB in Eli Manning. That's going to be tough to do with this Giants' pass rush in Smith's face all game. The Packers proved you can run on the Giants(but somehow felt the need to not do so as often as they should have) so a heavy dose of Frank Gore might keep SF in this one but if San Fran's recipe for success in this postseason is hoping their opponent turns the ball over five times then plays soft D on the final drive of the game, then they are S.O.L.. They should have blew that game against New Orleans. Lightning doesn't strike the same place twice. Giants win by 10 and I get two weeks of unbearable Gabe texts.

Gabe: Giants - Because I have to.

The Typecast All-Stars

2012-01-21T20:57:00.017-05:00

While this is mainly a sports website, Gabe and I fancy ourselves as movie buffs(well, more Gabe than me since it's his desire to watch every movie on the AFI Top 100 while I've yet to watch Casablanca). Still, both of us have watched enough movies to notice actors who tend to play the same role....no matter the film....no matter the genre....no matter the plot. The case can be made for hundreds of thespians but we decided to single out a chosen few. So we made an all-star team out of it because, after all, this IS a sports website.

Without further ado, here is your starting lineup for The Typecast All-Stars:

Catcher: Chris Farley - Given Farley's personality and lack of acting chops, it's hard to tell whether Farley was just a bad actor who played the same guy in every movie or he was just being himself in every movie. Farley even admitted that he tried to play the same character, just at different volumes. It's hard to argue with that statement when you watch Tommy Boy or Black Sheep or even his small part in Airheads For those too young to catch Farley before his death in 1997, be it on Saturday Night Live or on the big screen, think of him as a funnier and more coked-up Jack Black.

First Base: James Gandolfini - As someone who counts The Sopranos as his favorite show of all-time, it hurts putting Big Jim on here. That being said, Gandolfini will never shake being Tony Soprano. Now, that's no fault of his own because it's not like he's only auditioning for roles as a Jersey mob boss since The Sopranos ended. Still, much like Jason Alexander and Michael Richards after Seinfeld, it's hard for fans of The Sopranos to not see Tony when Gandolfini is on screen. Try watching The Last Castle or even Gandolfini's cameo on an episode of Portlandia and tell me I'm lying. Gandolfini is a hell of an actor, but sometimes when you reach an iconic status as a character, it's hard to make your mark again elsewhere. Just ask Jennifer Aniston.

Second Base: Mark Wahlberg - Wahlberg was so hellbent on losing his image as "Marky Mark" that it seems like he's spent most of his career taking every role as the token bad ass. What started with The Big Hit and The Corruptor was really driven home with flicks like Four Brothers and, most importantly, The Departed. Playing Sgt. Dignum in Scorcese's masterpiece showed that Wahlberg isn't just some next-gen Sly Stallone and earned Wahlberg some credibility as an actor. That didn't stop Wahlberg from signing up for every hard-ass role once The Departed had its day at The Oscars. The Fighter, The Other Guys and his latest one Contraband all cast Wahlberg as the "bust-you-in-the-teeth tough guy". It's a long way from selling Calvin Klein underwear or letting his dong swing as Dirk Diggler in "Boogie Nights".

Shortstop: Jeremy Piven - With the exception of the next person on our list, Piven might have been the easiest lock on the team. The disclaimer here should probably read "Post-Entourage" since Piven seems content on reinventing himself by playing Ari Gold in every single film he does now. Gone is the guy from PCU and, in his place, is Piven playing any role that involves him being a slick-talking wise ass, a la his role in HBO's hit Entourage. I guess that's understandable. After all, Piven can't be more than a hair above 5'6. You can't exactly cast him as a Clint Eastwood/Liam Neeson roles. How about some more dramatic roles though, Pivs? You can't be Ari Gold forever. A lesson you should have learned from watching Smokin' Aces.

Third Base: Ryan Reynolds - Now, in Reynolds' defense, he's a shitty actor, so it should be expected that he's seemingly unwilling to take roles outside of his wheelhouse. In fairness again, Reynolds' attempts at being un-Van Wilder have flopped miserably(then again, so have a lot of Reynolds' films). Have you seen Green Lantern? How about Change-Up or Buried? No? Me neither. Reynolds is at his best(which still isn't very good) when he can be the token pretty boy wise ass and combine the occasional punch line with the occasional reason to take off his shirt and get the teeny boppers who paid their 10 bucks to swoon. Disagree? Try watching Van Wilder then taking a view at Waiting... and Just Friends. He couldn't even help trying to be a funnyman in Blade: Trinity and X-Men Origins: Wolverine, which weren't even comedies. If there's a saving grace for Reynolds, it might come this month when Denzel carries Reynolds' ass for two hours in Safe House.

Left Field: Morris Chestnut - Terry McMillan writes books and Tyler Perry pens scripts knowing that, eventually, their movies will have Morris Chestnut in them. IMDB described Chestnut as "versatile", which made me laugh so hard, I nearly fell out of my chair. Watch The Inkwell, The Best Man, Two Can Play That Game, Breakin' All The Rules and The Brothers and tell me where you see versatility. Sure, those movies are a change of pace from Chestnut's tilt as Ricky in Boyz N The Hood(perhaps the only movie with Chestnut in it that I enjoyed). If you surf through Blockbuster for any movie with an all-black ensemble cast, chances are you'll find Chestnut in there somewhere. We get it, bro, chicks think you're sexy and I imagine it's hard to be taken seriously as a bad ass when your name is Morris Chestnut, but mix it up a little, my dude. Even Idris Elba got tired of doing the Madea movies. Take a page out of the Jamie Foxx playbook, Mo, and try doing something different than being the black Ryan Reynolds. Who knows? Maybe you'll get your big break if they ever ask you to play the lead role in a movie about DMX.

Center Field: Keanu Reeves - I will forever hold it against Keanu Reeves for ruining one of the best action movie trilogies with his horrendous acting. How does one manage to stumble upon a bad ass role like Neo in The Matrix and think to themselves "What if I manage to do this role exactly like I did Speed?" Reeves approaches every role with the same dumb surfer boy swagger that was annoying in Point Break and has since been perfected by Matthew McConaughey. You know how frustrating it is to watch three hours of state-of-the art CGI and gunfights with the main character recreating his role as Jack Traven? Reeves made attempts to be taken seriously with flicks like Sweet November and The Lake House but couldn't refrain from unleashing that same stoner "Whoa!" that made him famous in the Bill & Ted movies. Not long after "The Lake House" bombed, Reeves was back doing the only two things he knows how to do: playing a cop(Street Kings) or getting nerds excited with another sci-fi thriller(The Day The Earth Stood Still). It almost makes you wish Dennis Hopper blew his ass up on that bus.

Right Field: Vince Vaughn - When I sent out a mass text asking friends for suggestions before writing this piece, every single person hit me back with the same name: Vince Vaughn. Now, I like Vince Vaughn. Wedding Crashers is one of my favorite movies, as is Dodgeball. That being said, on a team of guys who play the same role in every film, Vaughn is the face of the franchise. Swingers, Be Cool, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, The Break-Up, Couples Retreat, Fred Claus......he might as well just use the same name in every movie. You would think a handsome guy who stands around 6'6 could do something besides be a Dean Martin clone, but that's apparently not the case. Look, Vaughn's performances in even his best films hardly frustrate you into thinking he could do more. Let's face it, he's not the second coming of Clint Eastwood, but why can't he steal some of the dramatic sports movie roles that keep going to guys like Kevin Costner and Dennis Quaid?

Starting Pitcher: Freddie Prinze Jr. - He's the white man's answer to Morris Chestnut. Freddie Prinze Jr's sole purpose in Hollywood is to play the pretty boy male love interest in every teeny bopper movie. He's like the dude version of Jessica Biel. She's All That, the Scooby Doo movies, the I Know What You Did Last Summer movies, Summer Catch.......Prinze spent the prime of his acting career trying to get inducted into the Tiger Beat Hall of Fame. Hell, even Jennifer Love Hewitt managed to go outside of the box with Ghost Whisperer and her acting makes Paris Hilton look like Meryl Streep. Prinze's acting chops aren't much better. He makes guys like Ryan Reynolds and Keanu Reeves look like Jack Lemon and Walter Matthau. On the bright side for FPJ, he wouldn't have even made the cut if not for fellow token pretty boy Paul Walker's atrocious turn in Running Scared. At least that was a far cry from being Lance Harbor in Varsity Blues, albeit an unwatchable far cry.

Closing Pitcher: Michael Cera - I'm not sure what roles Cera could really play besides those played by meek little boys. After all, it's not like Cera is a shoe-in to be Gambit in the next X-Men flick. Still, Cera hasn't exactly evolved from his days as George-Michael on Arrested Development. Superbad? Juno? He's pretty much the same kid in both. If Scott Pilgrim vs. The World was supposed to be a change of pace and make Cera look like more of a bad ass, then it failed miserably. I guess you can't really take a kid who looks like an extra from Freaks and Geeks seriously, but can't you at least hope that plays a role that doesn't have him as the lovestruck pansy? Cera's still young, so I guess there's hope, but something tell me this kid is destined for the starring role in a Justin Bieber biopic.

Manager: Will Ferrell - A mortal lock. Talladega Nights, Elf, The Other Guys, Anchorman, Step Brothers......every Will Ferrell movie might as well have been an skit from Ferrell's SNL days. Other than being the funniest of the recent crop of SNL alums, what really sets Ferrell apart from Chris Kattan or David Spade? Ferrell should have been the Dan Akroyd of his Saturday Night Live graduating class: an immensely funny guy who had the acting acumen to do things besides be an immensely funny guy. In Ferrell's defense, at least his movies are entertaining. Try watching a Rob Schneider movie without cringing. Still, a guy with Ferrell's talent should be doing more. When Jim Carrey was making buckets of money from "Ace Ventura" and "The Mask", he got tired of being the same guy and set out to be taken seriously with more dramatic roles(Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Majestic, Man on the Moon). Why can't Ferrell follow the same career path?

General Manager: Adam Sandler - In a lot of ways, you could make this entire lineup out of Saturday Night Live's finest. I mean, it's not like Bill Hader is doing movies outside of his comfort zone. That being said, 17 years later, Adam Sandler is still emulating Billy Madison. Every Sandler flick plays out almost exactly like his best work in Happy Gilmore and The Wedding Singer. Is Just Go With It really that much different from Big Daddy? Is Bedtime Stories a drastic change from Click? Sandler tried his hand at some serious roles with Reign Over Me and Spanglish and did surprisingly well.....which makes his desire to go right back to the same formula with yawners like Grown Ups and Jack and Jill that much more frustrating. Sandler's made enough money off recycling the Bobby Boucher formula that you would like to see him do something different.....or at least take a break and come back when his movies are actually funny again.

The All-Star team turned out to be a sausage fest, but I couldn't end this thing without taking some shots at the ladies. So I made a cheerleader section....

*Kate Hudson - Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Remember when Hudson was hot shit after Almost Famous? Now every movie is a retread of How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days. Despite Maxim's determination to list Hudson as some kind of blonde bombshell, she never had the drop dead good looks to even snatch the "token hot girl" roles that seem to go to Jessica Biel and Anna Faris these days. With those roles out of the question, Hudson took another kick in the teeth once Scarlett Johannson stepped onto the scene. Now, Hudson's faded off the Earth. 2011 was a big year for women in movies but none of those women were named Kate Hudson. I guess that's what happens when you peak too early.

*Cameron Diaz - Speaking of peaking too early, Cameron Diaz has been playing the smoking hot ditzy blonde since she was Tina Carlyle in The Mask. There's a reason Diaz was a shoe-in for a role in the Charlie's Angels movies. She fits the Farrah Fawcett mold to a tee. Unlike Kate Hudson though, Diaz at least still gets some mainstream movie love and she made a slight bounce back with the popularity of the Shrek franchise. Still, Bad Teacher was so far out of left field from Diaz's entire career as a goof that it was hard to watch, even if she looked hot while doing it. Attractive women with not a lot of acting skill are a dime a dozen. Remember when Rose McGowen and Alicia Silverstone were headlining movies? Now they struggle for followers on Twitter. Plus, I'm about 90% sure any roles that would have went to Diaz now go to her illegitimate twin sister, Malin Ackerman.

Divisional Round Picks

2012-01-14T14:21:00.005-05:00

Dave's cold streak continues(but did warn you guys in the Playoff Preview of a Broncos win over the Steelers) as Gabe added a two-game lead in the playoffs to go with his regular season crown.

On to Round 2.....

LAST WEEK:

Gabe: 3-1

Dave: 1-3

PLAYOFFS

Gabe: 3-1

Dave: 1-3

Saints (-3.5) at Niners

Dave: Niners - A couple of things you should know here before you kill me for this pick. First, the Saints have never won on the road in the playoffs under Drew Brees. The weather in San Fran isn't expected to be a factor but it goes without saying that things won't be as comfy for the Saints at The Stick as it would be in the friendly confines of the Superdome. Second, if you take away the shootout New Orleans won over Houston in the season's opening month, the Saints haven't faced a good defense all season. The closest thing to Houston that New Orleans faced was St. Louis(who finished 7th against the pass) and the Rams won that game. The Niners possess the best defense in the NFL and while defending the pass is their one weak link(16th against air attacks), they are pretty stout everywhere else. Pierre Thomas isn't going to be able to pound away at SF like he did Detroit and the Niners will be looking for those quick screens to Darren Sproles. A good defense has almost ALWAYS beat a good offense and I think San Fran pulls the upset here at home.

Gabe: San Fran - Historically great defense beats great offense. I'm taking the defense. Niners.

Broncos (+13.5) at Patriots

Dave: Broncos - Some more fun with numbers. The Patriots don't have a single victory over a team with a winning record all season. Sure, they beat the Broncos a couple months ago but it's safe to say that Denver has a bit more momentum in the rematch than they did the first go-round. The Broncos gashed the Patriots' porous defense with the run attack in the first game and I expect that to be true again in the second match. This time around though, Tim Tebow has a bit more comfort in the offense, a lot more comfort with WR Demaryius Thomas, and a Patriots' offensive line that might be too battered to keep Von Miller and Elvis Dumervil off of Tom Brady all game. Tebow and, especially, John Fox knows turnovers killed them the last time against New England and the age-old blueprint to beat New England has been keep Brady off the field and then smack him in the mouth when he's out there. I think another dose of Tebow magic is farfetched, but Denver keeping it under double digits? I'll take that.

Gabe: Broncos - Quite simply, no way the Pats win by two touchdowns.

Texans (+7.5) at Ravens

Dave: Ravens - This isn't as much of a lay-up as it seems. Sure, the Texans are beat up and they are trotting out T.J. Yates as their starting QB and Houston lost to Baltimore already this season but this still isn't a lock for the Ravens. The Texans play outstanding defense, which was something the Bengals found out the hard way last week. Second, you can never fully trust Joe Flacco if you're a Ravens fan. The Ravens' losses this season have come when both the team underestimated it's seemingly inferior opponent and Flacco looked more like Drew Bledsoe than Drew Brees. All that being said, I think this is Baltimore's year. With Pittsburgh out of the way, the only thing standing between them and a trip to Indy is themselves. The Ravens know the window is closing for Ray Lewis and Ed Reed and Ray Rice is too dangerous on the ground and in the passing game to be completely held in check. The Ravens are going to bog down on Arian Foster, force Yates to make throws/mistakes and keep Flacco from blowing this one. Ravens by 13.

Gabe: Ravens - Terrell Suggs makes sure he and rest of the Ravens ball so hard.

Giants (+7.5) at Packers

Dave: Giants - I haven't spoke to Gabe about this game all week. Not one snarky post on Facebook about our teams facing each other in the playoffs. No angry texts over Jason Pierre-Paul's "guarentee". No mentions of Green Bay's win over New York early in the year. Why? Because I remember 2007, when an underdog Giants team went into Lambeau and ruined Brett Favre's last chance at a Super Bowl as a Packer. However, while much is made over that upset, it's important to make distinctions. One, the QB for this week's game is Aaron Rodgers, not Brett Favre. Two, most of the stars on Green Bay's team weren't around for that '07 L. Three, the Packers weren't the defending Super Bowl champions playing at an absolute high back then like they are now. Four, while the Giants pass rush is improved, the secondary is much worse and you can make the case that the run game is as well(even if it's the same guys in the backfield as five years ago). So, why do I like New York? Because I know this game will be just as close as the last one was and I have very little faith in both the Packers O-Line as well as their defense. I still like Green Bay to win though. Aaron Rodgers has spent the last two weeks listening to how Matt Flynn killed his MVP campaign and how great Drew Brees is and how the Giants are going to pull off the upset again and, knowing A-Rod, I expect him to come out in full "Fuck you" mode. This game is going to come down to making costly mistakes and, unlike in '07, the Packers don't have a turnover machine at QB like they did then. So I'll take my boys, but I think they win it by 6 after Eli gets picked off on the final drive by Tramon Williams.

Gabe: Giants - Aaron Rodgers has had three weeks off and could be rusty. The Giants have tons of momentum. The thing the Giants do best of defense is harass and disrupt the opposition's passing game. In addition, the Packers are going through some turmoil because the death of their offensive coordinator's son. I think the Giants have a shot to win. They might not win, but it will be close.

One of One

2012-01-10T13:10:00.007-05:00

It's been awhile since we've seen an athlete, let alone a quarterback, who has caused such a divide amongst the sports world's fan population.

When it comes to Tim Tebow, nobody is on the fence. You either love him or you hate him. The question is why? We know why people love him: He's the quintessential underdog. He's an inspiration to a slew of God-loving fans who, prior to Tebow's rise, didn't have an idol to identify with. He's a winner and, if you're a woman, you might also think he's attractive. He's one of the good guys.

The Tebow hatred is confounding but it's not complex. In a society filled with conformists who march in lockstep with an image forced upon them by clothing designers, musicians and pop culture, we can't stand anyone who goes against the grain. Even in the Barack Obama era, people are still opposed to change. Tim Tebow is different. He's more likely to pick up a Bible than a chick, more known to quote Matthew than Lil Wayne and is more the type to kick it at Sunday mass than to crack a beer at Buffalo Wild Wings. He isn't OUR type of quarterback. He's not a guy's guy like Brett Favre. He doesn't put up Drew Brees-esque numbers. He doesn't have an arm like Peyton Manning. He isn't as breathtaking a runner as Michael Vick. All he does is win.

And, really, isn't that why he's here? Tebow's style might be ugly but it gets the desired end result. However, in a world where athletes have to do things OUR way, that's just not good enough for us. People didn't care how LeBron James left Cleveland last summer. They just didn't like that he rubbed it people's faces. People didn't care that Roger Maris' single-season home run record got shattered. They just preferred it be done by someone not juiced up to look like Paul Bunyan or by an egomaniac with a reputation for being a self-absorbed prick. Tim Tebow's win over Pittsburgh on Sunday, in which he stuck it to a Steelers defense that completely underestimated his ability to throw a football and shocked a national audience that mostly believed his failure at Mile High was preordained, was the kind of fairy tale W that you see in predictable sports movies. Only in the "Rocky" movies does the underdog overcome the long odds and emerge triumphant in the closing moments against their heavily-favored adversary.

If there's a precedent here for the love 'em-or-hate 'em take on Tebow, it might very well be Maris himself back in 1961(which, naturally, was immortalized in Billy Crystal's excellent movie, 61*). Maris, like Tebow, was just a humble kid who had a love for the game but found himself to be a fish out of water as a farm boy entering the concrete jungle of New York City. Roger Maris wasn't a New Yorker's kind of Yankee. He wasn't Mickey Mantle or Babe Ruth or even Joe D. He just played ball and played it really well and, despite people in his own stands rooting against him, Maris laughed in the face of adversity and broke Babe Ruth's home run record. Years later, Maris died never getting the respect he rightfully deserved because he wasn't the kind of magnetic personality that Mantle or Ruth were.

Tebow is a bit more outgoing than Maris ever was but he's by no means Madison Avenue's next cash cow. Still, he's captivating. I fancy myself as anti-religion atheist, and I like Tim Tebow. I don't agree with his religious views and he'll never be as dear to my heart as the great Aaron Rodgers but he plays the game the right way. He may not play it the way it has traditionally been played for decades, but that's another reason I like him. General managers and coaches always scour the draft trying to find the "next" somebody: The "next Peyton Manning", the "next Tom Brady", the "next Brett Favre". There will never, EVER, be another Tim Tebow. And I don't even mean in the "Aw, shucks, I love Jesus" holy roller sense(though I doubt we see another one of those either. Before Tebow, the closest thing we had to a religious sports icon was Jon Kitna). There is no mold you could put Tebow in and say "he's just like (insert name here)". What you are watching is a true original: A quarterback who runs like a fullback and throws like a professional softball pitcher. Nowadays, your elite QB's fall into a handful of molds or prototypes:

*The Peyton Manning mold: Tall, statuesque passers who never leave the pocket(mainly because their speed limitations won't let them) and beat you with a strong arm and high football IQ. Guys who fit this mold? The Manning brothers, any QB prior to Steve Young, Carson Palmer, Warren Moon, Phillip Rivers and, inevitably, Andrew Luck.

*The Brett Favre mold: Strong-armed QB's with a flair for the dramatic who overtrust their cannon and try to make plays that aren't there by trying to overthrow the defense, which often leads to either a big play or a maddeningly stupid turnover. Most commonly known as "gunslingers". Guys who fit the mold? Favre, Rex Grossman, Tony Romo, Jay Cutler, Matt Stafford, J.P. Losman and, even before Favre, Jeff George.

*The Tom Brady mold: Tall, lean passers who can make plays with their feet but are by no means mistaken for scramblers More accurate than Favre types but don't possess a howitzer for an arm yet can throw the deep ball well and have good zip on their fastball. They look like surfboarders, which is to be expected because they mostly hail from the West Coast and possess that "Cali swagger". Guys who fit the mold? Brady, Steve Young, Aaron Rodgers, former Bills QB Rob Johnson, Mark Sanchez.

*The John Elway mold: Like Peyton Manning types in that they are tall, big bodied QB's with strong arms, except they also have nimble feet that allow them to move around in the pocket and even break loose on the occasional scamper when the play breaks down. Guys who fit the mold? Elway, Ben Roethlisberger, Joe Flacco, Donovan McNabb(later in his career, after injuries limited his mobility and willingness to scramble), JaMarcus Russell, Daunte Culpepper. Cam Newton and Robert Griffin III kind of fit this mold as well because they are pass-first, thick-built passers but they also have the speed and athleticism to be more of a threat with their legs than the other guys mentioned here.

*The Mike Vick mold: Always thinking run first, then throw because they exceptional speed and are more likely to blow by defenders with their uncanny quickness than trying to squeeze a pass through tight coverage. Slimmer than Elway types, making them more susceptible to injury but are also much faster. They do possess the strong arm requisite to make plays in the pocket but don't always have the most accurate of arms, making scrambling the most reliable option. Guys who fit the mold? Vick, Vince Young, Terrelle Pryor, Randall Cunningham.

*The Joe Montana mold: Pretty much the default comparison for any QB that doesn't possess elite size or arm strength. Most commonly found in guys who are under 6'3. They beat defenses with precision passing as opposed to throwing bombs downfield. Excel in offenses that rely heavily on short, quick accurate passes. Guys who fit the mold? Montana, Chad Pennington, Drew Brees, Kurt Warner(though Warner and Brees have better arms than given credit for), Colt McCoy.

*The Tim Tebow mold: Glorified option QB's with the size and speed that makes them a threat outside of the pocket because they are fast enough to get by the front seven and big enough to be difficult to bring down. Like LeBron James in basketball, they are usually too quick for the bigs and too big for the quicks. Can make plays with their arm but they don't normally possess the ability to throw the deep ball or elite accuracy. Guys who fit the mold? Tebow. That's it. That's the list. If there's anyone comparable, you could make the case for Quincy Carter(who excelled in the option when he was Dallas) or, from a build standpoint, Cam Newton but both Carter and Newton were more polished passers than Tebow.

Time will tell how this Disney-esque Tebow story plays out. All signs point to ending in Foxboro when Tebow squares off against another overhyped signal caller who broke into the league amidst much scrutiny and doubters: Tom Brady. To make the story more compelling, the guy that believed enough in Tebow to draft him as his franchise QB, Josh McDaniels, will be on the opposing sidelines trying to cook up a game plan for Brady to match the attack of the monster McDaniels helped create a couple years ago. It's the perfect story of two men who overcame long odds to be the poster child for a nation's adoration and anger.

You'll either love it or hate it.

Wild Card Playoffs Picks

2012-01-06T21:38:00.006-05:00

Since Gabe missed Week 17, we didn't bother to count it into the regular season record and just gave him the regular season crown. We'll put an asterisk on it though. Truth be told, Gabe didn't even have to mail in his picks from across the water because, while The Big Adobo had an excuse for vacating the final week of the season, Dave had no answer for his no-show.

Here's our take on the playoffs' opening weekend:

LAST WEEK

Dave: 5-9
Gabe: n/a

REGULAR SEASON(through Week 16)

Gabe: 120-112-11
Dave: 113-121-11

Lions (+10.5) at Saints

Dave: Lions - Howie Long said it best on "The Dan Patrick Show"....this has Baylor-Washington written all over it. Double digits is asking a lot considering this Lions team just went punch-for-punch with a slightly better Packers team in Lambeau(granted, with no Aaron Rodgers). The Saints are going to win this game but they aren't going to dominate and arrogant spreads like these are what gives underdogs like Detroit momentum to make Super Bowl runs. New Orleans doesn't have an answer for Calvin Johnson but New Orleans spreads the ball out too much and too quickly for Detroit's solid pass rush to get their hands on Drew Brees. I think this is a shootout til the end because neither team can run the ball consistently enough to eat up clock. Saints by 6.

Gabe: Saints

Bengals (+3.5) at Texans

Dave: Bengals - You wonder what this Texans team would be like if they had a healthy Matt Schaub and Mario Williams. Unfortunately, they don't and the Bengals are good enough against the run to neutralize Houston's last remaining weapon: Arian Foster. It's hard betting on a rookie QB and a rookie WR on a team that chronically underachieves in the playoffs to go on the road and notch a win but Houston is way too beat up to put up a fight here. Bengals by 4.

Gabe: Bengals

Steelers (-8) at Broncos

Dave: Broncos - I think Denver loses here but keep in mind that Pittsburgh hasn't covered a spread with Roethlisberger at QB since Ben hurt his ankle against Cleveland a month ago. With Mendenhall out, they need Issac Redman to be this year's James Starks. Could it happen? Sure. But the Steelers are going to have to eventually establish the passing game if they are going to beat the Broncos by more than a touchdown. I think we see struggles by both offenses and a defensive touchdown is the difference here. Steelers by 7.

Gabe: Broncos - Denver loses but all of the Pittsburgh injuries keep this one close.

Falcons (+3) at Giants

Dave: Falcons - The Giants' D-line spent the week talking shit about the Falcons' offensive line. Karma usually isn't favorable towards teams that provide bulletin board material, particularly in big games such as this. The Falcons have the balance on offense that the Giants don't and Michael Turner is the perfect kind of big body bruiser to play in the wintery chills of the Meadowlands. New York is the scariest team in these playoffs but I think all the fuss about Green Bay and New Orleans and San Francisco has allowed us to forget that Atlanta's pretty damn good too. I'm going for the upset here. Falcons by 10.

Gabe: Giants - I truly think my Giants go one and done in this years playoffs, but they are going to get this one. If they can corral Michael Turner (not an easy task by any stretch) and put the Falcons in passing situations then the Giants' pass rush will wreack havoc on Matty Ice. Giants by a touchdown.

2012 NFL Playoff Preview

2012-01-06T14:35:00.010-05:00

With the speed of a Ted Ginn Jr. punt return, the regular season has ended and tomorrow the playoffs will commence. This year's tournament looks more like a March Madness bracket where uncertainty and inconsistency means all it will take is the right team getting hot to make a Super Bowl run. You can make the case for any of these 12 teams making the Super Bowl(OK, maybe not Houston). Our takes on the games themselves will come tomorrow just before kickoff. Today will be more of a primer of things to expect and what to watch.

Before I get into that, though, some post-regular season awards.

Offensive Rookie of the Year: Cam Newton, QB, Carolina Panthers - Andy Dalton is going to grab a few votes because he's actually still playing while Cam was making vacation plans for January months ago. However, if Newton and Dalton switch teams, which team benefits more? I'm saying Cincinnati does. Look, I'm not knocking Dalton at all. He had to make the same transition Newton did as a rookie who had to learn an offense with a shortened training camp. That being said, your only case for Dalton is the team's success, which is as much because of fellow rookie A.J. Green as it is "The Red Rifle". Newton's numbers, though, make this a no-brainer. 4,051 yards passing, 701 yards rushing, 21 passing TDs, NFL-record 14 rushing TDs. Newton finished with more yards than last year's NFC rushing champion Ahmad Bradshaw and scored more touchdowns on the ground than anyone not named LeSean McCoy. Dalton might have helped make the Bengals a playoff team but Cam Newton makes the Panthers very scary for years to come.

Defensive Rookie of the Year: Aldon Smith, LB, San Francisco 49ers - A lot of good candidates this year. Patrick Peterson was huge for Arizona but his best moments came more in the return game than on defense. Von Miller looked like he had this award wrapped up and then he injured his hand and the air came out of the tires. If anything, the Broncos' lack of punch with Miller hurt(no pun intended) could actually help Miller's case more than hurt it. Still, it's hard to argue the impact of Aldon Smith on what might be the league's best defense. 14 sacks and a safety are pretty impressive numbers and Smith, unlike Miller, has a signature game to hang his hat on. With Pro Bowl ILB Patrick Willis on the sidelines, Smith stepped up on national television and reeked havoc on Pittsburgh to the tune of 2.5 sacks and provided constant pressure on Big Ben. It was one of four multi-sack games for Smith. Miller? Only one, and he didn't register a sack the final three weeks of the season, which allowed Smith to overtake. Either way, this was a good year for rookies on defense.

Coach of the Year: Jim Harbaugh, San Francisco 49ers - Not that my opinion or ability to predict division standings in the preseason(or lack thereof) mean anything, but I had San Francisco finishing third in the NFC West in my preseason preview and, at the time, I thought that was generous. Nobody, and I mean, NOBODY, saw Harbaugh rallying this group together with an abbreviated training camp, forming the league's best defense, making Alex Smith somewhat respectable at QB and combining all those components to create the NFC's #2 seed.

It's hard to give Harbaugh too much credit as he's an offensive-minded coach whose team is led primarily by its defense and whose offense is, at best, pedestrian. John Fox might get some love here, too, for resurrecting a Broncos team that was 3-13 last year and making them a division champion. What knocks Fox down a peg to me is that the fact that he seemed begrudgingly happy over the team's success when Tim Tebow took over as the team's starting QB. The entire 2011 Broncos season under Touchdown Jesus was Fox and John Elway trying their hardest not to grit their teeth over not being able to replace Tebow in the offseason and pretending to put their arm around their franchise savior with half-hearted kudos and back-handed compliments. Harbaugh, meanwhile, never looked ashamed that he was winning the West with one of the all-time biggest Draft busts as his QB and has the Niners looking like the closest thing to the 2000 Ravens that we've seen in 11 years.

Defensive Player of the Year: Terrell Suggs, LB, Baltimore Ravens - Gabe texted me a couple weeks ago giving me props for being one of the only people to see the breakout of Jason Pierre-Paul coming(something I mentioned in a preseason preview two years ago). JPP deserves some Defensive MVP love and there's a chance he steals this award from T-Sizzle with his recent surge the last month or so. 86 tackles, 16.5 sacks and a safety are damn good numbers for a defensive end and those numbers dwarf those of Suggs for the most part.

My reasoning for Suggs over Paul is two-fold: One, while his numbers aren't as great as JPP's, Suggs' numbers are still excellent: 70 tackles, 14 sacks, 2 INTs and 7 forced fumbles. Both men shined against heated division rivals. Pierre-Paul dominated both games against the Cowboys en route to helping seal an NFC East title for the Giants while Suggs laid a whooping on Pittsburgh in Week 1 with 3 sacks and 2 forced fumbles to set the tone for what would be an AFC North-winning campaign for the Ravens. Secondly, while Suggs has tons of quality talent around him on that Ravens D, Baltimore is lacking in the pass-rushing department beyond T-Sizzle. JPP has Osi Umenyiora, Justin Tuck and Mathias Kiwanuka(even if all three were hurt at some point in the year). I'm not taking anything away from JPP, but it's much easier to dominate when opposing offenses have guys everywhere to look out for. Offenses facing the Ravens knew the pass rush lived and died with Terrell Suggs....and he still made them pay every week.

Offensive Player of the Year: Drew Brees, QB, New Orleans Saints - A bit of a spoiler here, I suppose, for my pick for MVP as Brees' selection here pretty much gives away my MVP pick(though, if you read my take on this matter a week ago, you should have already known my choice to begin with). The Brees-Rodgers debate is something that can for hours, maybe even days. You want to say Matt Flynn's breakout game last week against Detroit hurts A-Rod in terms of the "value" discussion for MVP? I won't kill you for it. When Flynn is starting elsewhere, we'll know whether he was a product of the system or not, but to ask "Well, if Matt Flynn started for Green Bay all season and Chase Daniel started all season for the Saints, what would their records be?" is a question that is impossible to answer and should have no bearing when comparing the two guys who did actually start for the Saints and Packers all season(or in Rodgers' case, almost all season). Brees' only advantage over Rodgers is in pure numbers. Rodgers has the better team record. Rodgers beat Brees head-to-head.

That being said, Brees deserves his just due and winning this award doesn't shortchange everything Brees accomplished. Nearly 5,500 yards and 46 TD's are amazing numbers and Brees' shattering of Dan Marino's passing record is an achievement I don't believe any QB going forward will be able to take from him. He deserves his time in the sun. He just doesn't deserve MVP.

Most Valuable Player: Aaron Rodgers, QB, Green Bay Packers - Week 17 definitely hurt Rodgers' case, but let's not act like people weren't looking for a reason to give the MVP to Brees a week prior when he broke the passing yards record. Rodgers had nothing to play for in Week 17 so he didn't. Brees didn't have anything left to play for in the 4th quarter of the Falcons game(except the record) and damn sure how nothing left to prove in the second half against the Panthers, but Sean Payton had him in there anyway. It's hard to give credit to such a blatant attempt to put a guy over. Aaron Rodgers was so incredibly consistent week-after-week that it became boring to talk about. We ran out of hyperbole. We ran out of reasons to compare his season to Brady's 2007 or find ways to put him over Brett Favre, so we just stopped. Meanwhile, Drew Brees was unleashing an assault on the record books and he became the new fun thing to talk about. In a world where what's "trending" changes within minutes, some decided to switch from Rodgers to Brees.

And I'm not saying MVP talk for Brees is unwarranted, just that, short of a few records, there's nothing Brees accomplished this season that Rodgers hadn't as well. 14-1 as a starter, nearly 4,700 yards passing, a 45-6 TD-to-INT ratio(in an offense that barely ever runs the ball, no less) and an NFL-record 122.5 QB rating are still astonishing numbers, even if they aren't as gaudy as Brees' in some aspects. As I said a week ago, Rodgers vs. Brees is something that will only be cleared up in a rematch, if it happens, this season. You wish we could suspend the MVP til then, but we can't. For this season, Aaron Rodgers played this season like a maestro leading an orchestra. Whether he's better than Drew Brees is a case Rodgers already made once this season, but he'll be more than glad to refresh your memory in a couple weeks.

And, now......some playoff thoughts.

Sneakiest Potental First Round Upset: Broncos over Steelers - Hold the hate, Pittsburgh. Let me explain myself here.

1. No Rashard Mendenhall. No Ryan Clark. No Maurkice Pouncey. Big Ben is, surprise surprise, banged up with yet another injury he's going to try to play through. A swiss-cheese Steelers offensive line is going up against a Broncos pass rush with a two-headed monster in Von Miller and Elvis Dumervil. Champ Bailey is going to put the clamps on Mike Wallace and it's in Denver, with thousands of psycho Bronco fans in attendance for their first home playoff game in years.

2. Tim Tebow might not be much of a QB, but he finds ways to win and John Fox is a playoff-tested head coach. He's not going to let Tebow blow this game. With no running game and potentially no deep attack for the Steelers, this game could very well be closer than you think. You know who thrives in close games? Tim Tebow.

3. Keep in mind that, this time last year, nobody gave the Seattle Seahawks a chance to beat the defending Super Bowl champion Saints at home in the first round, and we saw how that ended. I'm not saying Denver's going to win this one, but history has shown that victories this time of year are hardly a certainty(Trust me, as someone who thought Green Bay was going to throttle the Giants in 2007). If you don't have your doubts about the Steelers on Sunday, then you're either kidding yourself or have more confidence than most.

Sleeper Team That Can Make A Real Run: New York Giants - NYG is a bit of a wild card. On the one hand, they possess the league's best pass rush in a playoffs that will see them potentially face four of the best passing offenses in the NFL if things fall that way(Atlanta in Round 1, followed by potentially Green Bay, New Orleans and New England). They can sling the ball with anybody(as they proved with their nailbiting loss to Green Bay a month ago), and they have the experience of entering the playoffs under the radar(2007.....when they went from 6 seed to Super Bowl champions). On the other, they tend to shit the bed every now and then(swept by the lowly Redskins, losing to a Vince Young-led Eagles team, getting worked by Seattle early in the year) and, despite having a talented duo in Brandon Jacobs and Ahmad Bradshaw, Big Blue struggles running the ball(league worst rushing offense). The Giants could emulate their run in 2007......or their season could come to screeching halt against Atlanta this weekend.

Biggest Playoff X-Factor: Joe Flacco, QB, Baltimore Ravens - While we're on the subject of the 2007 Giants, I compared Flacco to Eli Manning prior to his '07 playoff run. Same emotionless body language. Same tendency to hold the ball too long. Same boneheaded decision making. Like Manning, Flacco holds the keys to a legit Super Bowl contender. Baltimore had Pittsburgh on the ropes last year in the Divisional Round before the wheels came off in the second half. If Baltimore ends up pulling that one out, who knows how that 2010 season ends? Do the Ravens top the Jets? Does Rex Ryan's Super Bowl prediction come true or does he fail and Baltimore makes it? Does Aaron Rodgers carve up the Ravens like he did the Steelers? We'll never know. Here's what we do know: The window on Baltimore's standing as Super Bowl contenders is rapidly closing. Ray Lewis and Ed Reed, sure-fire Hall of Famers on their last legs, aren't going to be around much longer to rally the troops and, for as good as Ray Rice has been this season, the offense needs Flacco to step up to keep defenses on their toes. The Ravens have shown this year that have what it takes to topple the Steelers(albeit in the regular season) but for them to make a run, Flacco needs to avoid the critical mistakes that have plagued in games like the ones against Jacksonville and San Diego. If Flacco takes the next step like Manning in '07, you can pencil Baltimore in to their first Super Bowl since 2000.

2012 NFL Playoffs' Unsung Hero(The David Tyree Award): Darren Sproles, RB, Saints - A couple of things you might not have known about Sproles' 2011 season: He nearly doubled the best rushing total of his career with 603 yards(on only 87 carries, for an average of 6.9 a carry). He caught 86 passes for 710 yards and 7 TD's in an offense that loves to spread it around. That's a little over 1,300 yards of offense and we haven't even gotten into his production in the return game(though it should be mentioned he had one punt return of 40+ yards and a TD as well as two 40+ yard kickoff returns this season). With Mark Ingram out and Pierre Thomas being, well, Pierre Thomas, Sproles is the Saints' best weapon on the ground and his receiving and return numbers proves he can be dangerous from nearly anywhere. He's this generation's Dave Meggett, a diminutive back who doesn't have every-down size but can give you every-down production and is a threat to take it the distance no matter how he touches the ball. Teams are going to spend an inordinate amount of time trying to game plan Drew Brees or Marque Colston or Jimmy Graham. The guy they need to worry about is the 5'6 midget with the lightning fast feet.

Legit Story We Are Way Too Worried About: Detroit's Week 17 loss to Green Bay - A couple years ago, Green Bay walked into Arizona on the final weekend of the regular season and laid an ass whooping on the Cardinals. A week later, the two teams met in the Wild Card round and the Packers had to rally back from a 21-0 deficit to lose a heartbreaker in overtime to the eventual NFC champions. We learned two things from Detroit's loss last week: Their defense gives up a ton of yards and points....and their offense can go score-for-score with anyone. For as bad as that shootout against Matt Flynn and company was Motown's defense, it should be the Lions only lost by four and had a chance to win on the final drive before Sam Shields came up with the game-clinching pick. Who's to say the ball can't bounce in Detroit's favor against New Orleans? There aren't many defenses, if there are any, that can keep Calvin Johnson in check and, while the numbers might tell a different story, a defense led by Ndomukong Suh is still pretty damn scary. The Lions have as much young talent as anybody and, lest we forget, this team was one of the last two undefeated teams standing before losing to Chicago in Week 10. Did the wheels come off the bandwagon in Motor City or did Detroit use last week's loss as a chance to regroup and come out firing when the real season starts? Time will tell.

Legit Story We Are NOT Worried Enough About: Bill O'Brien taking the Penn St head coaching job - There are two differing precedents here we could use for New England Patriots offensive coordinator Bill O'Brien's decision to take the Penn State job before the playoffs start and its effect it will have on the team. There's the precedent from a few years back when then-Patriot coordinators Romeo Crennel and Charlie Weis found head coaching jobs while still working for New England during their Super Bowl run(Weis with Notre Dame, Crennel with the Browns). Those hirings didn't distract the Patriots from winning the Super Bowl and both men ended up getting a classy sendoff as the team hoisted the Lombardi trophy. Then, there was Weis, in his return to the NFL as the OC of the Kansas City Chiefs, taking the OC job with the University of Florida prior to the Chiefs facing the Ravens in Round 1. The Chiefs looked anemic on offense, Weis and Todd Haley butted heads at halftime and Weis left the team on unpleasant terms. We won't know which way this new scenario will play out but it seems ridiculous to think that it can't end like Weis' did in Kansas City last year. O'Brien is a fiery guy(as we saw with his shouting match with Tom Brady earlier this season) and he's just agreed to take a job at one of the most infamous schools in college football history, replacing the greatest college football coach of all-time, a year after a scandal that rocked the entire country all season. You don't think Billy O might be a little preoccupied right now?

And last, but certainly, not least.......the obligatory Super Bowl prediction.

Super Bowl 46: Ravens 27, Saints 24 - I had Saints-Patriots in the preseason and, truth be told, I was more than ready to stick with that.......until I wrote the previous paragraph. I have a hard time convincing myself this O'Brien thing won't be a distraction and, even if it's not, this Patriots defense is horrible. In fact, it may be the worst of the 12 playoff teams and that includes a Lions squad that just gave up 45 points to the Packers B team. The Ravens have proven they aren't scared of Pittsburgh and I'd be more confident in the Steelers getting revenge if they didn't have to do it in Baltimore and if they weren't so beat up. As for the Saints, I think Drew Brees gets the best of Aaron Rodgers this time around in the NFC Championship as sort of a "Screw you" to MVP voters. I have zero confidence in this Packers defense and I think there is a more than decent chance they could be one and done if they cross paths with the Giants again in Round 2. Saints-Ravens pits the league's statistically-best QB against the AFC's best defense and, as we've seen time and time again, defense wins championships.

Back In The Game Now

2012-01-03T18:08:00.006-05:00

The NFL postseason splits the league into two sides: those competing for the Lombardi and those who will spend their winter and spring going back to the drawing board. The guillotine came down swiftly on a few head coaches and general managers on Monday. Tuesday was the complete contrast with Eagles head coach Andy Reid and Chargers head coach Norv Turner as well as general manager A.J. Smith given a reprieve for their disappointing 2011 campaign.

With the next few weeks dedicated to the playoffs and the weeks following that expected to be occupied by Combine workouts, hot stove rumors and the actual NFL Draft, I felt like now was the best time to strike to give my ten cents(because my two cents is free) on who should fill these coaching vacancies and also weigh in on the jobs that aren't yet available but should be.

OPEN FOR BUSINESS

Miami Dolphins(6-10)

2010 Head Coach: Tony Sparano/Todd Bowles

What Needs To Be Fixed: First and foremost, this team needs a quarterback. Matt Moore did a decent job taking over for Chad Henne and helping the team from the bottom of the basement to a respectable 6-10 finish. Moore's not the answer, and the team's late surge kicked them out of the Andrew Luck/Robert Griffin III range they seemed poised to be stuck in after Miami's 0-8 start. The team could also use a boost to the pass defense, which was 25th in the league and doesn't have much of a pass rush beyond OLB Cameron Wake with long-time pass rusher Jason Taylor hanging them up.

Reasons For Hope: The Dolphins did manage to pull off the seemingly impossible by making a legit running back out of Reggie Bush after Bush failed to be more than a big name in New Orleans. The former USC standout and #2 overall pick notched his first 1,000 yard season this year and the Dolphins also have youngster Daniel Thomas to be both a change-of-pace back and a adequate backup for Bush's obligatory injuries. The Dolphins also did a good job stuffing the run this year, finishing 6th in rush defense.

The Man For The Job: Ex-Titans head coach Jeff Fisher - The team flew in Fisher in owner Stephen Ross' personal helicopter this afternoon and the former Titans head man is believed to be one of the Phins' four potential candidates along with Bears special teams coach Dave Toub, Jets defensive coordinator Mike Pettine and interim coach Todd Bowles. Fisher doesn't solve the Dolphins' need for a jolt on offense but Miami's tried to go the offensive route the last two times and failed with Sparano and Cam Cameron before him. Fisher's a seasoned vet who never should have been unceremoniously tossed out of Tennessee and the time has come for Fisher to get back in the game. With either the 8th or 9th pick in this year's Draft(pending a coin flip), Miami could try to make a move upward to get Heisman winner Robert Griffin III or sign a vet like Kyle Orton or, even better, Packers backup Matt Flynn. Fisher's acumen as a defensive-minded coach and as former defensive back will be beneficial to a team that was putrid against the pass and also has one of the best young cornerback duos in Vontae Davis and Sean Smith.

St. Louis Rams(2-14)

2010 Head Coach: Steve Spagnuolo

What Needs To Be Fixed: To put it plainly, everything. The Rams featured one of the worst offenses in recent memory this past season, thanks in large part to injuries to key members like QB Sam Bradford, RB Steven Jackson and wideouts Danny Amendola and Michael Clayton. The team made a trade for Broncos receiver Brandon Lloyd, who was familiar with Josh McDaniels' offense from their time together in Denver, but Lloyd and Bradford never got time to really develop chemistry thanks to a litany of Bradford injuries. Bradford's time in the infirmary might have something to do with the offensive line's inability to protect him. St. Louis allowed 55 sacks this past season and, by season's end, injuries forced the Rams to start Kellen Clemens at QB, whom they picked up off the street a couple weeks prior. Defensively, Spags lived up to his billing in bringing a fierce pass defense to that table, but even the '85 Bears are going to give up ground to opposing offenses if they are spending too much time on the field because of an anemic offense.

Reasons For Hope: The team has the benefit of having one of the game's best young QB's in Bradford, last year's Rookie of the Year. Jackson is also a premier every-down back even if his odometer is pretty high at only 28. Lloyd's a free agent and reports are surfacing that his chances of coming back to The Lou are tied to McDaniels returning as well. The team is also sitting pretty with the #2 pick as they can pretty much ask for a king's ransom from a team wanting RGIII or stay put and grab a wideout like Oklahoma St.'s Justin Blackmon. On defense, the team has some talent in guys like LB James Laurinaitis, S Quintin Mikell and DE's Chris Long and Robert Quinn.

The Man For The Job: Rams Offensive Coordinator Josh McDaniels - The Rams are in the Jeff Fisher Sweepstakes and I understand it's hard to justify promoting a guy who just helped lead the league's worst offense. That being said, McDaniels didn't have the benefit of a full training camp or a full season out of his star QB. It's hard to hold a man fully accountable under those circumstances. Plus, you'd be doing Bradford a disservice by forcing him to learn a third different offense in as many years. McDaniels knows this team and, if his presence allows the team to retain Lloyd, it may be worth giving him a shot. You aren't going to find too many high profile coaches who will want a reclamation project like this Rams team. With Bradford, Jackson, Lloyd, Quinn, Long, Laurinaitis and the #2 pick, McDaniels already has more young talent than he ever did in Denver. He's young. He's fiery and he deserves another chance.

Tampa Bay Bucs(4-12)

2010 Head Coach: Raheem Morris

What Needs To Be Fixed: Maybe I was a year too late in my prediction of Morris getting canned. With all the promise this team showed last season and the expectations coming into this year, you wonder if this season's letdown was more the team quitting on Morris than any glaring holes. The team has drafted well for the last couple years and if there are any huge needs it's a coach who can get these young kids focused and a every down running back since current starter LaGarrette Blount is a liability on passing downs thanks to his stone hands and inability to throw a block.

Reasons For Hope: There's young talent EVERYWHERE on this Bucs team. From QB Josh Freeman to WRs Arrellious Benn and Mike Williams to DE's Adrian Clayborn and Da'Quan Bowers to LB Mason Foster to CB Aqib Talib, Tampa Bay is stacked. Add the fact that this team is picking 5th in a loaded draft and this may be the most worthwhile job on the market....for a coach who isn't afraid to put boot to ass.

The Man For The Job: Patriots Offensive Coordinator Bill O'Brien - This job would have been perfect for Bill Parcells 10 years ago because nobody's better in getting his players in check than The Tuna. Parcells has hung 'em up, however, so why not go to the well with a member from the Parcells tree. O'Brien showed he's not afraid to get up in a player's grill by going toe-to-toe with Tom Brady on the sidelines a couple weeks ago. If O'Brien isn't scared to tell Tom Terrific where to go(or say "Thanks, but no thanks" to Penn State), then he should have no problem telling the knuckleheads on this Bucs team where they can shove it. O'Brien has already received interest from the Jaguars and, before that, Penn State before telling the Nittany Lions he'll pass. As the brains behind one of the most explosive offenses in football, O'Brien could shake things up for Bucs team that's high on potential but was low on results this year. He'd have to get Freeman back into 2009 form but I imagine that won't be that difficult and, with the help from a skilled defensive coordinator, O'Brien could have the Bucs back on top in the NFC South quickly.

Jacksonville Jaguars(5-11)

2010 Head Coach: Jack Del Rio/Mel Tucker

What Needs To Be Fixed: The case can be made that no team is in more of a need for a star receiver than the Jacksonville Jaguars. How this team expected Blaine Gabbert to succeed with Jason Hill and Mike Thomas as his top targets is beyond me. The team tried bringing Mike Sims-Walker back after a brief stint in St. Louis but MSW lasted all of ten seconds before hitting the IR. Top corner Rashean Mathis is a free agent and his potential departure would be a blow to the team. The Jags also need to work on their offensive line after allowing 44 sacks this season.

Reasons For Hope: The allure of the Jaguars job is based on what you think of the potential of Blaine Gabbert. If you believe he's an Alshon Jeffery and some protection away from being another in a long line of rising young QB's, then this job might be enticing to you. If you think Gabbert has bust written all over him, then you'll have your work cut out for you. One guy whom the jury is not still out on is 2011 rushing champion Maurice Jones-Drew. On an offense that scared nobody with the threat of the pass, MoJo D still went for a little over 1,600 yards and 8 TD's(while throwing in another 374 and 3 scores through the air for good measure). Defensively, the unit finished in the top 10 in three of the four main categories(total yards, passing, and rushing) and finished 11th in scoring defense, so there's hope there(However, it should be noted that these numbers are with Peyton Manning and Matt Schaub, two guys the Jags will face twice a year, missing 3 of the 4 games they were expected to play against Jacksonville). The Jaguars will pick 7th this year and, with so many picks already used on the offensive line and addressing the defense, the time has come for this team to get Gabbert a tag team partner. South Carolina's Alshon Jeffery hasn't declared for the draft yet but, if he does, he'd be the perfect Calvin Johnson to Gabbert's Matt Stafford and could be available when the team goes on the clock.

The Man For The Job: Panthers Offensive Coordinator Rob Chudzinski - The man who gets this job should be someone who can groom Gabbert into being the star that the Jags thought he would be when Jacksonville used the 10th pick in the draft on him last year. That may be why the Jaguars' top three candidates are all offensive-minded guys. The Patriots' Bill O'Brien and the Jets' Kurt Schottenheimer are atop the list along with Chudzinski for the Jags' head coaching job. Chudzinski makes a ton of sense because he took an offense that was hard to watch last year and molded it into the 5th best scoring offense in the league while turning eventual Rookie of the Year Cam Newton into an instant superstar. Gabbert may not possess all of Newton's talents but he obviously had enough potential that even Carolina was considering him with the top pick before settling on Newton. With some improvements to the recieving core along with Chudzinski's tutelage of Gabbert and the continued production from MoJo, the Jags could be a scary offense next year and that, combined with their underrated defense, could make them a player in a wide open AFC South next year.

Kansas City Chiefs(7-9)

2010 Head Coach: Todd Haley/Romeo Crennel

What Needs To Be Fixed: Unless the team hires God as its coach, nobody is going to be able to fix this team's biggest problem: injuries. Within the first three weeks of the season, the team lost its star RB in Jamaal Charles, its best safety in Eric Berry and its top tight end in Tony Moeaki to season-ending injuries. By Thanksgiving, QB Matt Cassel was on the injured reserve and the biggest contributors to the Chiefs' late-season success were Kyle Orton(picked up off waivers from Denver) and kicker Ryan Succop. Still, the team can't rely on getting back all of its stars next season. The team needs to find a way to shore up the 26th ranked run defense as well as find a pass rusher to take pressure off Pro Bowl LB Tamba Hali. Kansas City also needs to figure out who will be their signal caller in 2012 with Orton a free agent and Cassel underwhelming in his first couple of years in Arrowhead.

Reasons For Hope: It says something about this team's talent(as well as the weakness of the division) that they finished a game out of first despite a majority of their best players on the sidelines. Romeo Crennel led a smothering defense after taking over for Todd Haley and that was on full display in the team's huge upset of the Green Bay Packers a few weeks ago. With Charles, Berry and Cassel(possibly) back in the fold next year, it's hard not to like KC's chances of winning the division for the second time in three years next year.

The Man For The Job: Ex-Ravens head coach Brian Billick - Billick rode the coattails of the late 90's Randy Moss/Cris Carter Vikings teams as Minnesota's offensive coordinator to bill himself as a offensive genius and parlayed that billing into a head coaching job with the Ravens. Once with Baltimore, Billick rode the coattails of arguably the best defense this generation has ever seen to win himself a Super Bowl in 2000. Truth be told, Romeo Crennel deserves to keep this job but, even with how the team responded this year, it's hard to look past Crennel's failure as the head coach in Cleveland. With Billick, the team would get a seasoned coach with alleged offensive genius that he could dispose on a team whose offense features one of the game's best dual-threat backs in Charles as well as a underrated wideout trio in Dwayne Bowe, Jon Baldwin and Steve Breaston. You'd like to see a scenario where Crennel returns to coach the defense but it might be farfetched for a man to go back to his old role after having a taste as the lead dog and then watching that job go to someone else. The first order of business for Billick or whomever is figuring out whether it wants to give Cassel another chance to be this team's franchise QB or look elsewhere. Oklahoma QB Landry Jones is a name that has been linked to the Chiefs or the team could try the free agent market once again with a guy like Matt Flynn or perhaps making a move(as has been rumored) for Peyton Manning. A trade for Manning might be unlikely but, if it happens, his presence on this young team makes them instant Super Bowl contenders and would give Billick yet another star to ride for his own personal gain.

NOT AVAILABLE.....BUT SHOULD BE

San Diego Chargers(8-8)

2010 Head Coach: Norv Turner

What Needs To Be Fixed: The defense failed San Diego this year, giving an average of 22 points per game while finishing 13th against the pass and 20th against the run. Years of letting key guys like Jamal Williams and Shawne Merriman go and replacing them with unproductive parts like Larry English and Corey Liuget came back to haunt the Chargers this year and led them to yet another disappointing season without the playoffs. The running game fell apart down the stretch, too. Second-year back Ryan Mathews had a decent bounceback year, with 1,061 yards and 6 touchdowns but couldn't shake the injury bug for the second year in a row. Backup Mike Tolbert didn't do much to spell Mathews either, leading the Chargers to 16th rushing attack. Making matters worse, former Bolt Darren Sproles was allowed to walk and had a career year with the Saints.

Reasons For Hope: As much as I disagree with Turner and GM A.J. Smith being allowed to stay, you can't argue with Turner's results on offense. Phillip Rivers had yet another productive season and the team got the numbers out of Vincent Jackson that it hoped to get last year when the receiver held out for most of the regular season. The trio of Rivers, Mathews and Jackson along with TE Antonio Gates and WR Malcolm Floyd give the Chargers one of the most talented offenses in the league. With that said, any hope for this Chargers team is somewhat muffled by the presence of Turner, who has squandered opportunity after opportunity since taking over for Marty Schottenheimer. It amazes me that Schottenheimer couldn't survive a 14-2 season but Turner can keep his job after missing the playoffs for the second year in a row. The same goes for Smith, who hasn't hit on a draft pick in years and continues to look foolish every time a player leaves San Diego and does better in a different place. If anything, watching Drew Brees set the single-season passing record this season for the Saints should have been enough to get Smith canned(You know, since watching Brees win a Super Bowl wasn't enough).

The Man For The Job: Ex-Bucs head coach Jon Gruden - My reasoning behind this isn't even that I want Gruden out of the Monday Night Football booth, though I'd be lying if that wasn't part of it. Has there been a more perfect situation for Chucky than this Chargers team? Think about it. Gruden excels at benefiting from coming into situations with ready-made teams that he doesn't have to do much tinkering to. He's like the guy who inherits the defending champion in a keeper league because the previous owner moved away. Anyone who has listened to Gruden drool over Rivers during the MNF broadcasts knows he'd jump at the chance to leave the booth and coach the Chargers. Of course, Gruden doesn't really help a slumping defense, which is what the Chargers really need, but it's clearly going to take someone with some legit pedigree to oust Turner from this job. So, unless Bill Cowher wants the job, Gruden makes a ton of sense. Gruden would be able to fill two roles, since he wouldn't take the job unless he could build the team, too, which spares Chargers fans from Smith's horrible drafting and replaces it with Chucky's slightly-less-dysmal drafting. It also gives Gruden the opportunity to stick it to the Raiders, though I imagine that desire no longer exists with Al Davis no longer with us.

Dallas Cowboys (8-8)

2010 Head Coach: Jason Garrett

What Needs To Be Fixed: The biggest detriment to Dallas' success has less to do with who is coaching the team and more to do with who owns them. Jerry Jones has hamstrung his Cowboys with foolish trades(the Roy Williams deal, for one), bad free agent spending(The T.O. catastrophe) and even more horrid drafting(Felix Jones over Chris Johnson, anyone?). Now, you obviously can't fire the owner but the Cowboys' best years came when they had someone with a strong enough personality to tell Jerry Jones to keep his biodegradable face out of the War Room(Bill Parcells, Jimmy Johnson, Barry Switzer). Whoever gets the job(once it comes available) will have to do something with this secondary, since not even Rob Ryan could. The Cowboys' pass defense was an opposing quarterback's dream, and that's even with a nightmare like DeMarcus Ware wreaking havoc. This Cowboys defensive unit doesn't cover, doesn't hit and, beyond Ware, doesn't pressure the QB. On offense, the team got a steal in RB DeMarco Murray but he has to prove he can stay healthy since we know Felix Jones can't. The same has to be said for Tony Romo, who has to shake off the injury bug as well as his trademark late-game jitters. Romo's been the Cowboys' franchise QB for six years. He's produced ONE playoff win. At some point, he's either the answer or the problem and Jones is clearly too wrapped up in his Romo love to decide.

Reasons For Hope: The Cowboys have some nice pieces left over from the Parcells era: Romo, Miles Austin, Jason Witten, Ware, Terrance Newman(though his best days might be behind him), Mike Jenkins(same). Even Jones has managed to snag a couple good pieces in Murray, WR Dez Bryant and OT Tyron Smith. The Cowboys are built to contend, but for some reason, they can't get over the hump. In previous years, it was blamed on Wade Phillips' passive aggressiveness. The last couple years, the blame was put on Garrett's playcalling. Whatever it is that's holding Dallas back, it's the job of Jones to find it and fix it.....even if it means pulling himself away and allowing someone more accomplished to take the reins.

The Man For The Job: Ex=Steelers head coach Bill Cowher - Sorry, Steeler fans, but this may be inevitable. The Cowboys lack leadership and need someone who isn't afraid to crack some heads and get in his players' faces and there's nothing more intimidating than the burly chin and flying spittle of an angry Bill Cowher. Cowher brings a reputation from his time in Pittsburgh that Jones will have to respect and, while Cowher wasn't exactly the architect of those great Steeler teams, he knows how to build a winner. In Dallas, he'd already have his vaunted 3-4 scheme in place and the pieces to make it work. All Cowher would have to do is some fine-tuning. The Cowboys are also close enough to contention to lure Cowher out of retirement. A high profile job like this one requires a high profile coach and it requires a man's man who won't take any guff from the players or from Jones and maybe, just maybe, he might even convince Romo to grow a pair.

Philadelphia Eagles(8-8)

2010 Head Coach: Andy Reid

What Needs To Be Fixed: Despite spending more than a decade in the same division as Dan Snyder, Andy Reid didn't get the memo that trying to build a championship team by throwing wads of cash at every top free agent out there doesn't work. Maybe the combination of all those egos wasn't the reason for Philly's undoing but the lack of production from their well-paid mercenaries was certianly the cause. Asante Samuel was so distraught over the Nnamdi Asomugha and Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie acquisitions that he went into the tank early. Meanwhile, Asomugha and Cromartie flopped in Year 1 as Eagles. As for the rest of the defense, the team never really picked up Juan Castillo's scheme and the run defense, long the Achilles' heel of these Eagles teams, was terrible yet again. On offense, the Eagles' fears of giving a long-term deal to Michael Vick were realized when Vick couldn't stay healthy behind a leaky offensive line. Vick missed just three games but was knocked out of a few more as his style of play combined with a lack of protection made him an easy target for defenses that knew the key to beating Philly was putting Vick on the sidelines.

Reasons For Hope: When Vick is healthy and able to stand upright, he leads an explosive offense. Obviously, the DeSean Jackson contract situation is a problem but if Jackson and the team can reach agreement on a new deal, he's one component to a deep offense that includes RB LeSean McCoy, TE Brent Celek and fellow WR Jeremy Maclin. The defense has its share of star power, too. Sameul's going to be a goner but you could do a lot worse than Cromartie and Asomugha as your starting corners. The Eagles have excellent bookends at defensive end in pass rushers Jason Babin and Trent Cole and some gerth inside in Cullen Jenkins and Mike Patterson.

The Man For The Job: Eagles offensive coordinator Marty Morninweg - At some point, Reid has to take the blame for this team's lack of success beyond a few playoff berths and some NFC Championship appearences. Reid squandered a decade of Donovan McNabb's prime and a great comeback from Mike Vick with his trademark bad clock management and inability to convert in short-yardage and red zone situations. The system works. Reid doesn't. Morninweg may have flopped in Detroit as the head coach but he also never had the amount of talent with the Lions that he does in Philadelphia. Like Jeff Fisher in Tennessee, Reid has worn out his welcome and needs to be held accountable for not being able to maintain the high level of success that this franchise once had in previous years. By giving the spot to Morninweg, you aren't forcing Vick to have to learn a new offense after he's finally come along as a pocket passer after years of trying to win games with his feet. It's time for the team to move on and Reid can't continue to float by pointing the fingers at inept coordinators. Morningweg is going to get a second chance somewhere thanks to his good work commandeering this Eagles offense, so why not in a place he's already familiar with?

Indianapolis Colts(2-14)

2010 Head Coach: Jim Caldwell

What Needs To Be Fixed: No matter how "shocked" Peyton Manning says he is over the Polians being fired this week, it was well-deserved. This franchise hasn't hit on a draft pick in years and its reliance on Manning to carry them was never more evident than this season. Obviously, the Colts had key injuries beyond Manning, as guys like Gary Brackett, Dwight Freeney, Robert Mathis and Dallas Clark all missed time but it was the Polians' job to get this team some depth and they failed miserably. The defense finished near the bottom in every catagory besides pass defense(where they were 16th). The offense, sans Manning, also ranked at the bottom in every catagory. Now, the team not only has to deal with the potential departure of longtime Manning buddy Reggie Wayne, but possibly Manning himself, depending on #18's willingness to stick with the team after it drafts Andrew Luck in April with the #1 pick.

Reasons For Hope: Beyond the fact that they have the pleasure of choosing between Peyton Manning, arguably the greatest QB of all-time, and Andrew Luck, the greatest QB prospect in decades, to be their starting QB, there isn't much to be happy about. The team doesn't have a capable running back. The receiving core is decent, but is filled with guys who can't stay healthy from Austin Collie to Anthony Gonzalez to Dallas Clark. The defense doesn't have much behind Freeney, Mathis and Brackett(all three on the decline of their careers) and the offensive line is still a work in progress. As great as nabbing the top pick is for the franchise and being able to secure an heir apparent for Manning, Andrew Luck can't make the tackles for the defense or catch his own passes. Still, the team's picking first in every round of a deep draft and, if Manning is healthy and available to trade, the Colts could get a nice deal for him.

The Man For The Job: Bengals Defensive Coordinator Mike Zimmer - Zimmer isn't the sexiest of choices but he's a guy who has gone without a head coaching job for too long. If Manning stays, the need for an offensive-minded coach is no longer neccessary because Manning practically doubles as the offensive coordinator anyway. If Manning leaves, getting someone who can mentor a QB is going to be key even with Luck's smarts and ability to pick up an offense quick. Zimmer is the right call because this team's success came when the defense was up to par with Manning's offense. Zimmer worked wonders with a Bengals defense that had less big names than what's currently in Indy. With a good draft and some hard work, Zimmer could get the Colts back on track in a soft AFC South. Luck is a cornerstone piece and if Indy can swing Manning into something of value OR keep Manning and allow him to spearhead the offense while showing Luck the ropes, that's a hell of a start for this franchise. As for Caldwell, he'll get a pass this year because it wasn't his fault that his best player went down and the guys in charge of building a team couldn't do their job but Caldwell hasn't shown me much to think he's nothing more than a lame duck. The team needs an identity on defense to go along with the identity it will eventually have on offense with either Manning or Luck.

Minnesota Vikings(3-13)

2010 Head Coach: Leslie Frazier

What Needs To Be Fixed: Truth be told, I thought Frazier was fired weeks ago. I was certain of it because I couldn't think of a legit reason why he wouldn't be following this season. The Vikings started off the year blowing double-digit leads every game in the opening month. How does one survive that? It wasn't until I didn't hear any talk of a Minnesota opening that I had to Google to see if Frazier still had a job. Either way, the Vikings have some work to do. For starters, a offensive line that gave up 49 sacks needs to be revamped. As much of a knucklehead as Bryant McKinnie might have been, he looks like Anthony Munoz compared to the guys they have on that line. The line is so bad that you forget Pro Bowl G Steve Hutchinson is even on it. Making matters worse, we may have seen the last of Adrian Peterson as an upper echelon running back. Name me a running back who was ever the same from a torn ACL and MCL. Willis McGahee wasn't the same after blowing out his knee in the Fiesta Bowl. Neither was Jamal Lewis. Wes Welker bounced back but he's also not a RB. Behind AP, there's Toby Gerhart, so there might as well be nobody at all. Even if Peterson has an amazing recovery from this injury, the team should invest in a backup plan. The receiving core needs work, too. Percy Harvin emerged as a solid wideout but he's oft-injured. Beyond him, there isn't much. The team was smart to not re-sign Sidney Rice but not smart in failing to find a replacement. On defense, the secondary needs some an infusion of talent to complement of very good front seven.

Reasons For Hope: I really like Christian Ponder and I even think Joe Webb is a decent backup/trade piece because he's athletic with a strong arm and could be an ok starter for the right team. Ponder reminds me of a young Aaron Rodgers: smart, mobile, good arm, accurate. He just needs protection and someone to throw to beyond Harvin. The Peterson injury is a huge kick to the nuts but he'll bounce back eventually and you can find RB's anywhere in this league(albeit none as great as Adrian Peterson, but ones that are serviceable. Ryan Grant comes to mind). The team is also picking 3rd in the draft and, with Luck and Griffin expected to be the first two picks off the board, they'll have their choice of any other position player they want. The team could go wideout with Alshon Jeffery or Justin Blackmon or finally replace McKinnie with a solid left tackle like USC's Matt Kalil or Stanford's John Martin. Defensively, the line is a bit old in the middle but has one of the game's best ends in Jared Allen. The linebacking crew is solid led by Chad Greenway and E.J. Henderson.

The Man For The Job: Former Rams head coach/ex-Bears and Lions offensive coordinator Mike Martz - Christian Ponder is just the brain to run this intricate Martz offense. Granted, the team doesn't quite have the receiver depth to pull it off but Harvin's speed and playmaking ability is a good start. My intial choice was Marty Schottenheimer because we need Martyball back in the NFL after the Chargers foolishly canned him but it's hard to co-sign a guy with a history for running his backs ragged taking over a team whose best player is coming off a blown knee. Martz may have not exactly shook up the world as a coordinator for Detroit and Chicago but he wasn't exactly awful either. By getting a second chance to be a head coach, he'll get extract revenge on the two teams that jettisoned him by facing them twice a year and he'll have the benefit of already having his franchise QB in-house(whereas some of these other teams are still looking). Martz may be a Grade A douchebag but there's no denying what he brings to an offense. When Peterson comes back, Martz will have just the recipe in bringing him along slowly, having dealt with something similar when Marshall Faulk had his knee troubles in St. Louis. If Minnesota is going to compete in the NFC North, it's going to have to outgun teams like Detroit and Green Bay(and even Chicago), Martz is just the guy to show them how to do that.

THE REX RYAN PORTION OF THE SHOW

I very rarely find myself on the fence on certian topics, but when it comes to whether Rex Ryan should still be the head coach of the New York Jets, I find myself torn. On the one hand, Ryan has turned the Jets into one of the best defensive units and the team's woes on offense can be more accurately traced to offensive coordinator Kurt Schottenheimer and QB Mark Sanchez. After all, Ryan can't be held accountable for failing to turn Gang Green into The Greatest Show On Turf. Ryan CAN be held accountable for bogging this team down with unneccesary pressure with his countless predictions and bulletin board quotes. In New York, it doesn't take much to be back page fodder and Ryan has done his best to keep Big Apple scribes in business by giving them headline-worthy content. It's natural for a coach to have faith in his team, but after three years of not backing up the big talk, you have to be held accountable. The Jets, on paper, have the talent to dominate the AFC. Not just the AFC East. But the entire conference. The defense has done their part and the team will probably bid adieu to Schottenheimer, either by firing him or because he'll find work elsewhere. However, that puts more pressure on Ryan in Year 4. As the leader of the pack, it's his job to make sure Sanchez becomes a viable starting QB. It's his job to keep a guy like Santonio Holmes from quitting on him. It's his job to put his finger on the pulse of whatever's holding this team back from its lofty expectations. The case can be made for Ryan getting canned because guys have been fired for less. However, I think Ryan deserves one more shot. With a new offense and new hunger, Ryan HAS to produce next season. If not, his big mouth will be running from behind a desk on a pregame show and not on a dais in the Meadowlands.

It's Most Valuable Player...Not Players

2012-01-02T12:19:00.006-05:00

If Drew Brees vs. Aaron Rodgers for the 2011 NFL MVP were a prizefight, it would go a little something like this: Rodgers would knock down Brees in the first, spend the next few rounds outboxing Brees with precision punching and uncanny efficiency before Brees would roar back to steal the remaining rounds.

Who would win when the final bell rang and we went to the cards would depend on how you scored each round. That's what we're dealing with as voters go to the mattresses with a decision to make between the last two Super Bowl MVPs. There are questions every voter has to ask themselves. How much stock do you put in Rodgers beating Brees in Week 1? Do you care more about individual stats or wins? Does Matt Flynn's record-setting performance yesterday somehow hurt Rodgers' candidacy?

There are a number of factors to consider. In one corner, you have a man that shattered a nearly 25-year old record in Dan Marino's single-season passing mark as well as breaking Peyton Manning's single-season completion record while completing nearly 72% of his passes and throwing for 46 TD. In the other corner is a defending Super Bowl MVP who has lost all of one game all season and set a record of his own this year: the single season record for QB rating. Brees has nearly 1,000 more yards than Rodgers. Rodgers has 8 less interceptions than Brees. He's also thrown 155 less passes than Brees. Rodgers is 14-1 as a starter. Brees? 13-3. Brees had five multi-INT games this season. Rodgers had zero. Brees lost to lowly St. Louis(and backup A.J. Feeley), Rodgers to slightly-less mediocre Kansas City(on a day where they had fired their coach in the middle of the week and were starting their third string QB). Brees spent the final game of the regular season dismantling Carolina. Rodgers spent it in a ballcap while his backup set single-game franchise records in passing yards and TD's against playoff-bound Detroit.

It's pretty much a toss-up. How can you argue one over the other? Which is why I think we're headed for the first NFL co-MVPs since 2003 when Steve McNair and Peyton Manning split the award. That, to me, would be fitting.....and a tragedy. Eventhough both men deserve the honor of both being called MVP and both men played this NFL season with the execution of decorated sniper, there needs to be one winner. Obviously, as a Packer fan, my vote goes to Rodgers and, it will tough to watch Brees take the consolation prize(Offensive Player of the Year) yet again after being edged out by Manning just a couple years ago.

However, the case for Rodgers is pretty extensive. He's lost once dating back to last Christmas(I know, you can't count last season when considering this year's achievements, but it's worth noting). With an undefeated season still on the line, Rodgers marched the Packers downfield in under a minute to set up the game-winning field goal against the eventual NFC East champion New York Giants(Brees, meanwhile, led the Saints down the field against the Packers for what would have been the game-winning final drive but got DENIED when the Pack stuffed Mark Ingram on the one-yard line in the season opener). He's thrown just six interceptions in an offense that has gotten nothing from the running game, has had to constantly shuffle its offensive line due to injury. With his three starting offensive tackles out, Rodgers lit up a very good Bears defense in what would be his final regular season performance to the tune of 289 yards and five TD's while not taking a sack. He had almost half as many rushing yards this season(257) as his leading rusher(James Starks, 578) and one less rushing TD than the team's leader(fullback John Kuhn, with 4). As great as Brees' numbers are, Rodgers' stat line of 4,643 yards, 45 TDs, 6 INT's with a 68.3 completion percentage and a 122.5 passer rating isn't exactly chump change.

Numbers, however, is going to be Brees' biggest case(if not his only case). A lot is going to be made out of Brees breaking Marino's single-season passing yards record.....until you realize that Tom Brady did it, too, this season. In fact, prior to this season, Marino was the only QB in NFL history to throw for 5,000 yards. There were three 5,000 yard QB's in this year alone(Brees, Brady and Matt Stafford). It's hard to put stock in gaudy numbers when a guy like Cam Newton can come into his rookie season with barely any training camp and throw for 4,000 yards. Defense was at a premium in 2011 and, if you don't believe me, feel free to name me at least five good defenses this year. Hell, the Packers are 15-1 with a defense that was dead last in total yards and passing yards allowed. I can point to a couple crappy Brees games this year(Week 6 vs. Tampa Bay, Week 8 vs. St. Louis....both losses....to teams that were a combined 6-26). I can think of just one for Rodgers(the lone loss to Kansas City, and even then Rodgers didn't turn the ball over. Brees, on other hand, five INT's in those two aforementioned losses). The reason behind Brees' candidacy is two-fold: 1. He's put on a show late while Rodgers, albeit superb, has been on cruise control because he's maintained a consistent level of excellence and Brees' mastery has managed to stay more current in people's minds(especially since he broke Marino's record two weeks ago on national television as well as played in Week 17 while Rodgers rested). 2. Brees is one of the league's most likable guys. That's not to say Rodgers is an asshole but 10-20 years from now coaches, players and parents will point to Brees' postgame speech after trouncing Atlanta and breaking Marino's record as the textbook example of teamwork and selfless behavior even if it came in a game where Brees and company rubbed it in by trying for the record up 22 in the 4th quarter. That last sentence, and I realize this is nitpicking, is what sticks in my craw a little in terms of picking Brees over Rodgers. Morning radio programs and debate shows have blasted athletes for years for running up scores and padding individual stats......so how did Brees get a pass from the mainstream media(granted, not a complete pass, as there were some who were up in arms....but those were mainly Atlanta-based scribes). If Terrell Owens started calling for the ball up 21 in the fourth quarter so he could break Jerry Rice's single-season recieving record, would we be as lenient on T.O. as we've been on Brees? It's a pointless debate, sure, but it's something to consider.

If I had my way, the MVP would reflect the postseason as well and the eventual rematch between Rodgers and Brees in the NFC Championship would not only have Super Bowl ramifications but would be a winner-takes-all scenario for the MVP as well. Rodgers gets the edge from me because I'm a biased Packers fan who watched his favorite player play defenses like a fiddle for 15 weeks. Rodgers' 2011 season was one of the greatest QB seasons in NFL history when you consider efficiency, circumstance and pure numbers. Brees' numbers are impressive as well and he won't be forgotten for re-writing the record books, but to give Brees the award because his coaches allowed him to put on an offensive onslaught the last few weeks in an attempt to both let Brees take a sledgehammer to long-standing records and make a last minute push for MVP would be unfortunate. To go back to the boxing comparison, it would be like scoring 10-9 rounds for Brees because he threw flurries of punches in the closing seconds of each round. Brees vs. Rodgers is the Hagler-Leonard of MVP races. It's a debate we will have long after the dust settles on this season. However, like Hagler-Leonard, there can be only one winner. Two men can't BOTH be the most valuable. It's impossible for me to not side with my guy, no matter how objective I've tried to be in the past month or so and no matter how much respect I have a guy like Drew Brees. It's a tough call to make but it's one that shouldn't be made straddling a fence.

One season. One MVP.

That's how it's supposed to be.

Week 17 Picks

2012-01-01T12:08:00.003-05:00

In an attempt to preserve his lead and end the 2011 regular season with his third straight crown, Gabe is resting his starters this week. Translation: Gabe is on vacation in Italy and, thus, unable to send in his picks for Week 17.

So Dave is going to fly solo for the final week of the season and, despite temptation to rule this a forfeit and give himself the regular season title, will instead grace us with his take on this week's somewhat meaningless games.

Lions (-6.5) at Packers

Dave: Lions - A pointless game for the Packers here as they've already locked down the top seed in the NFC and homefield advantage. However, don't think Green Bay wouldn't love to stick it to Detroit and send a message to the rest of the league by messing around and putting a whooping on the Lions with their B team. Two things you should have learned from last year, the Packers are surprisingly deep and Matt Flynn is a capable starter. How deflating would it be for Detroit to go into the playoffs as a 6 seed, having to go on the road to New Orleans or San Fran, having just lost on the road to a backup squad? That's why I think Detroit is going to come out, guns blazing, at first, build an early lead and dare Flynn to make a comeback. My gut says this one will be close but my heart says the Lions roll here. Lions by 10.

Niners (-11) at Rams

Dave: Niners - The Niners are trying to keep their scant hopes at the 2 seed alive while St. Louis has an outside shot at the #1 pick with an L here and a Indy W over Jacksonville. So both teams have something to gain from a San Fran win here(though SF also needs a Panthers win over the Saints). The Rams don't have much fight left in them, especially on offense, with Sam Bradford out and Steven Jackson wearing down. The Niners, much like the Steelers did last week, are going to smother Nellyville on O and end the Steve Spagnuolo era with a second straight shutout. Niners by 17.

Jets (+3) at Dolphins

Dave: Dolphins - I almost feel like Rex Ryan should be canned after this one. Brandon Jacobs was right: Rex Ryan does more hurt than good with all these outlandish preseason proclamations. Three straight years Rex has predicted the Jets are going all the way. Three years, they fell flat. This year, they need a miracle just to make the playoffs. Look, Rex Ryan is a hell of a defensive strategist but to say he's been underwhelming as the top man in the Big Apple is like saying Kevin James movies are unamusing. We can point fingers at Mark Sanchez taking a step back or Shonn Greene not really showing up or LT showing his age but the success of this team starts at the top as does the reason behind its failure. The Jets are playing desperate today, which is why I think they'll end their season with a loss to a suddenly-decent Miami team, even with Reggie Bush out. Dolphins pick off Sanchez three times, Jets lose by 10.

Bears (+2) at Vikings

Dave: Vikings - I'm not even going to waste too much space on this game except to say that Minnesota is going to win and somebody, somewhere is going to overspend on Joe Webb this offseason thinking he's a competent NFL QB. He's not. Vikes by 6.

Bills (+10) at Patriots

Dave: Patriots - A couple things to consider: the Patriots need a win here to lock down the #1 seed in the AFC, New England lost to Buffalo(snapping a 15-game win streak over the Bills) in Week 3, Buffalo hasn't won in New England since....well, forever, and Tom Brady spent the week leading up to this game having his shoulder X-rayed. What does all that mean? That the Patriots are going to play chess with Bills rather than Battleship. Having seen Wes Welker blow out his knee going too hard in a meaningless Week 17 game in years past, the Pats aren't going to get too extra in this one. I think they do just enough to exact revenge for the early-season loss and then Ryan Mallett comes in and the Pats play keep away the rest of the game. Pats by 14.

Panthers (+7) at Saints

Dave: Panthers - A win here by New Orleans would obviously be beneficial because, who doesn't want a first round bye? That being said, barring a miracle, the Saints road to the Super Bowl will still mean they have to leave the comfy confines of the Superdome and try to outgun the Packers on the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field on a blistering cold January afternoon. Drew Brees already has the single-season passing yards record so there's less of a need for him to air it out and it's not like New Orleans has a run game to use as an alternative. The Panthers, meanwhile, want to end the season right and Cam Newton wants to put the finishing touches on what HAS to be a Rookie of the Year-type season. I think this becomes a shootout early but the Saints bow out towards the end as they try not to risk injury trying to take down the 240lb Newton on a fast track in New Orleans. Panthers pull off the upset and the Niners nab the 2 seed. Panthers by 3.

Redskins (+7) at Eagles

Dave: Eagles - It pains me that a win here probably lets Andy Reid live for another year. The Eagles were a colossal disappointment and that starts with the head coach. Reid had to go this year, and he still might, but the Eagles will give him the benefit of the doubt after he gets to 8-8 with a win over another team that should can its coach: the Washington Redskins(Don't worry, Skins fans, you're only 4 months away from Dan Snyder trading half his draft the next two years to move up and get RG3).

Colts (+3) at Jaguars

Dave: Colts - Some will look at the Colts fighting hard to avoid getting the top pick to draft Andrew Luck as noble and a gesture of good faith to their injured franchise signal caller Peyton Manning. I call it stupid. Manning will be 36 next year and will be making $28 million to try to rebound from a neck injury that has killed his 2011 season with a 2012 Colts team that just looks putrid. The Colts were never going to get another opportunity to get an heir apparent like Luck. At the very least, they could have parlayed the top pick into a Hershel Walker-type deal that set them up well for years going forward. Instead, pride will have picking 2nd and Jim Caldwell doing pregame shows for CBS. The Jags are stuck, too. They could put up a fight and let their division rivals end up with the top pick or continue to lay down and get beat by a Colts team that didn't have a win to their name a month ago. Either way, this is as unwatchable as a Tyler Perry sitcom. Colts by 6.

Titans (-1) at Texans

Dave: Titans - If you're Baltimore or Pittsburgh or Cincinnati or whoever ends up facing Houston in the first round, how are you not salivating at the chance to beat on this Texans team? In fitting Texans fashion, the year they finally look like they shed the underachiever label and finally make the playoffs, the wheels fall off and they'll probably be one and done. As for this week against Tennessee, history suggests that if Houston couldn't put up a fight against Indy, they won't be much against a significantly better Titans team. Titans by 7.

Bucs (+9.5) at Falcons

Dave: Falcons - Boy, were we wrong about these Bucs. If there's a saving grace for Tampa Bay this week, it's that they always give Atlanta fits(including this season, where the Bucs have a W over Atlanta already) and the Falcons are going to be on cruise control since they are already in the playoffs. Granted, a win here helps Atlanta avoid the 6 seed but the Dirty Birds have to go on the road regardless and facing either New Orleans or San Fran or New York or Dallas isn't really going to matter in terms of one being easier than the other. I say the Bucs continue to quit on soon-to-be fired head coach Raheem Morris and lay another egg against the Falcons. Atlanta by 14.

Ravens (-2) at Bengals

Dave: Bengals - The Ravens have a lot at stake here because, despite winning in Pittsburgh a month ago, we know Baltimore doesn't want to be subjected to yet another Steelers-Ravens playoff clash at Heinz Field. A win here over Cincy gives Baltimore the AFC North crown and a potential shot at the 1 seed. The problem with that is that Baltimore sucks on the road and the one thing they do well, run the ball, is the one thing the Bengals' D can stop. That means this game is Joe Flacco's hands to go out and win. Last week, I said Flacco was this generation's Eli: an underwhelming, emotionless drone who needed a big postseason run to get the monkey off his back. For Flacco, that run needs to start today in Cincinnati against a battered Bengals secondary. The Ravens barely beat the Bengals earlier in the season without A.J. Green. Now, Green is back and somewhat healthy and, if this is a shootout, I'll take the desperate Bengals over the desperate Ravens by 3.

Steelers (-7) at Browns

Dave: Steelers - A few things you should know since we know you won't give a rat's piss about this game unless you're a diehard Steelers fan like my friend Sean Kerin and need a reason to get drunk and yell obscenities on New Years(You know, besides the normal reasons): 1. The Browns are awful. 2. Big Ben doens't lose in Ohio. His record in his home state is astonishing. I'm almost 100% sure he could kill two men in front of a police station in Findley and get off with a misdemeanor. 3. Colt McCoy isn't the answer for Cleveland but he was a nice story. 4. The Browns have two first round picks in the 2012 Draft and we know Mike Holmgren loves to move up(see the Matt Hasselbeck trade in 2000 when The Walrus was running things in Seattle) 5. The Rams will probably be picking first and don't need a QB. You get where I'm going with this? Steelers have a shot at the division title and homefield so I fully expect them to blow out the Browns but, given what Cleveland did to Big Ben in the first game, I fully expect Big Ben to break a wrist or sprain a knee or get knocked out with a concussion leading to two weeks of "Is Big Ben gonna play?" and "How tough is Big Ben?" stories all week. Steelers by 10.

Chiefs (+2) at Broncos

Dave: Broncos - Look, God isn't going to allow the NFL postseason to be deprived of Tim Tebow. How else do you explain the Chiefs mysteriously putting their leading rusher, Jackie Battle, on the IR midway through the week leading up to this game? Now, this Chiefs-Broncos tilt is being billed as a revenge match for Kyle Orton, who was unceremoniously benched for Touchdown Jesus in Week 5 and subsequently released a few weeks later where he ended up with the Chiefs. Kansas City plays excellent defense so Tebow isn't going to be able to run all over the Chiefs but the Chiefs are going to have to muster some offense and the Broncos defense is pretty good as well. I see Von Miller getting to Orton a couple times, Orton throwing a couple picks and this game ending with a Tebow TD run that makes the Broncos fans go ape shit and shoot Joey Porter in the asscheeks again. Broncos by 6.

Chargers (+3) at Raiders

Dave: Raiders - The Raiders shot at the 6 seed, assuming they don't win the West, is actually rather possible(meaning we get a postseason where three of your 6 starting QB's are T.J. Yates, Carson Palmer and Tim Tebow.......enjoy!). The Raiders need a win here plus a Bengals loss to Baltimore(possible) with either a Jets win over Miami(also possible) or a Houston win over Tennessee(the least likely of the three). The most motivating factor for me is that a Raiders win ends the Norv Turner era for San Diego and potentially starts the Jon Gruden era for the Bolts. No more underwhelming Chargers teams AND Gruden out of the MNF booth? 2012 is starting out great already! The Chargers play their best games in these last two months so San Diego could play spoiler here, but my heart says Oakland has one last college try left in them. Raiders by 6.

Seahawks (+3) at Cardinals

Dave: Seahawks - If you're running either of these teams next year, what do you do at QB next year? If you're Arizona, you signed Kevin Kolb to a big contract in the offseason but John Skelton as kept you out of the basement all season. Do you trade Kolb again? Do you trade Skelton? Otherwise, how else do you justify Kolb starting next year? As for Seattle, T-Jax hasn't been THAT bad this year, right? He also hasn't been THAT good. Do you give him one more year and wait til next year to draft a QB like Pete Carroll's prized pupil Matt Barkley? Or do you take a gamble on a promising new starter like Matt Flynn or even....yikes, Joe Webb? Either way, this game is just jockeying for position in the draft and it's more of a "Let's see what we have to fix in the offseason" game than a game of consequence. Seahawks by 6.

Cowboys (+3) at Giants

Dave: Giants - Oh man! Gabe is going to be somewhere in Italy, sipping grappo, rocking some hi-top Filas while he tries not to choke on his spaghetti aioli. You had to figure, all season, the NFC East title was going to come down to this. The only thing standing between the Giants and the postseason is the Giants. The Cowboys are far too beat up and, even when healthy, they choke like a first time throater in high-pressure situations. The only thing New York has to do is try to be less shitty than Dallas. The Giants whooped on the Cowboys a couple weeks ago in Dallas, so you'd like to think that they'd be able to clinch the East at home against a Cowboys team with no DeMarco Murray and a battered Tony Romo. Either way, the winner of this game is catching an L in Round 1, which means Gabe will be spending the offseason drinking all the Pinot Grigio he stuffed in his new Fendi manpurse while he tries to talk himself into the 2012 Mets and listens to his Andrea Bocelli Christmas CD on a continous loop. Poor fella. Giants by 10.

2011 NBA Preview

2011-12-25T10:32:00.003-05:00

It's fitting that the 2011 basketball season starts on December 25th because it looked like we needed a Christmas miracle for the NBA to return before fall of 2012. Regardless, here we are. The NBA season kicks off in less than two hours. I'll skip the preamble and get to my picks for this upcoming 66-game season.

PLAYOFF TEAMS

WEST

1. Dallas Mavericks - For teams to make it far this season, they are going to need good depth to survive those brutal back-to-backs. The defending champs have that in spades. What they don't have, thanks to some offseason shuffling, is a defensive presence. The Mavs brought in some big names in guys like Lamar Odom and Vince Carter at the expense of heralded defenders such as Tyson Chandler and Caron Butler. They swapped out Puerto Rican jitterbug J.J. Barea for gun-toting, teammate mother-banging Delonte West. That, in essence, is why I like the Mavs to dominate the regular season but, spoiler alert, not repeat. Who's going to make a stop for this Mavs team when they need it? Dirk? Brendan Haywood? Vinsanity? For Rick Carlisle's boys to repeat, they need to find a presence on defense, find roles that will keep the tragically-moody Carter and Odom happy and hope that finally winning a title doesn't make guys like Dirk and Jason Kidd complacent. That's a lot to ask in a short span of time.

2. Oklahoma City Thunder - The Thunder are another team that's not only deep but young. In fact, their "B team"(Cole Aldrich, Nick Collison, Thabo Sefalosha, James Harden, Eric Maynor) is probably better than some teams' starting five. OKC should have made their first Finals trip last year, off talent alone, but got tripped up by the one thing that concerns me about them this year: the Kevin Durant-Russell Westbrook alpha dog dynamic. The NBA, throughout its history, is littered with potentially great teams that were crippled by the inability to figure out who's Batman and who's Robin. It's why I thought the Thunder should have traded Westbrook to the Hornets for Chris Paul, who's a star but would be comfortable deferring to Kid Dynamite. If Scott Brooks can get the pecking order between Durant and Westbrook figured out, nobody's beating Oklahoma City. They have a sick defensive frontcourt with Kendrick Perkins and Serge Ibaka that complements the best young scorer the NBA has seen since Allen Iverson in Kevin Durant. Depth, youth, and balance......the Thunder are one wrinkle to iron out away from locking down the West for years.

3. Los Angeles Clippers - It's hard not to jump on the Clippers bandwagon when you look at the roster and think of how the next few months will be swamped with NBA Jam-like highlights from Lob City. However, if there is a nit to pick here, it's that the three of the team's biggest stars are coming off recent major injuries. Blake Griffin survived year two with a remarkable clean bill of health and his rookie season might have just been a slight bump in the road, but it should be noted that Blake Griffin did miss all of his rookie season due to injury. It should be noted that Chris Paul's knees are a ticking time bomb, as are Caron Butler's. It's easy to look at all the moving and shaking and get excited but we must remember: These are still the Clippers. If any franchise has been synonymous with being plagued by bad luck, it's these guys. On top of that, they are still missing a couple parts. For one, beyond DeAndre Jordan, this team doesn't have another interior presence on defense unless Blake Griffin evolves into a young Kevin Garnett this season. They also don't have a true 2-guard after dealing Eric Gordon in the Paul trade. Chauncey Billups is a nice piece, but he's undersized at the 2, as is Mo Williams. All of these points might be moot because, at the end of the day, who's keeping up with a team this young and talented but if the wheels come off the bandwagon quickly, don't say I didn't warn you.

4. Memphis Grizzlies - The Darrell Arthur injury is a big hit to this Grizzlies team because he was a promising big who could spell Marc Gasol and Zach Randolph and contribute on both sides of the ball. The team tried to soften the blow by trading for Quincy Pondexter, but he doesn't have Arthur's size and length. Still, the Grizzlies should build on their surprising playoff run from last year. The big key is getting Rudy Gay back as well as resisting the urge to trade O.J. Mayo yet again. Gay and Mayo are the best young tag team you're not talking about and that tandem combined with the Gasol/Z-Bo tandem makes Memphis very formidable(especially if Mike Conley Jr. continues to develop). The Grizz have a solid bench as well, headlined by underrated defensive stopper Tony Allen. The question is who will lead them now that Shane Battier is gone? Battier was the glue that kept a young and, at times, immature team together. Now he's in Miami. Will this team unravel or will they realize that they have a chance to go farther than any previous team has gone in the franchise's history? Time will tell.

5. Portland Trailblazers - It's a testament to how good this Portland team is put together that they can manage to still be viewed as a playoff team despite some bad luck in recent drafts that has forced them to watch Brandon Roy bow out early and probably Greg Oden not too long after. Filling in for the now-retired Roy and the always-injured Oden is the combination of Wesley Matthews and former-Hawks gunner Jamal Crawford at the two and a shot blocker who is not stranger to injuries himself in Marcus Camby. Because they are already down two, the Blazers can't afford anymore bites from the injury bug. The team made a huge upgrade a point guard by switching Andre Miller out for Ray Felton. Felton is one of the quickest guards in the league and is in a contract year so he'll be extra motivated. LaMarcus Aldridge will build on his resume from last year's Most Improved to perhaps the best young power forward in the West and Portland will get some help from savvy vets like Kurt Thomas and Gerald Wallace. On paper, this Blazers team can make a run but injuries have been their undoing for years. If they stay healthy, they can make some noise in a wide-open Western Conference.

6. San Antonio Spurs - Honestly, this is more of a respect call. The Spurs are on life support, in my opinion. Tim Duncan's on his last legs. I'm not sold on DeJuan Blair or Tiago Splitter as their depth up front(Blair because he's undersized and his knees are on borrowed time and Splitter because he's a bit green). Tony Parker, Manu Ginobili and Richard Jefferson are a nice trio but Manu and RJ are getting old and Parker's focus is an issue coming off nearly being traded AND a very public divorce. The other guys on this Spurs team? I shrug at them. James Anderson? Matt Bonner? T.J. Ford? Umm...ok. At the end of the day, they are led by the best coach in the NBA and the best power forward of our era. That should be enough to carry them to the playoffs. Past the first round though against younger, quicker teams? Doubtful.

7. Los Angeles Lakers: Surprised? Don't be. The Lakers did everything they could over the last few months to submarine any chance of keeping this dynasty going. First, I hate the Mike Brown hiring. That job belonged to Brian Shaw and you spent years grooming him as the heir apparent to Phil Jackson and then you led him down the primrose path and cut his head off by hiring Brown. Brown's the Brian Billick of the NBA: a subpar coach whose success comes more from being attached to greatness than any greatness he possesses.....kinda like U-God with the Wu-Tang Clan. Second, you went all-in on a Chris Paul trade that wasn't MANDATORY and then completely lost your composure when the NBA screwed you over. The Lakers needed an upgrade at point guard but they didn't need a team overhaul. Signing a Kyle Lowry or even J.J. Barea would have sufficed. Then, you kill your frontcourt depth by trading Lamar Odom for peanuts. Now, you HAVE to rely on Andrew Bynum to stay healthy, which he's proven he can't do. Third, Kobe's hurt and coming into a season moody, divorced and having to do more than he's ever had to to keep this team competitive. Please explain to me how that ends well. Beyond Bynum and Gasol, L.A. doesn't have much. Josh McRoberts? Jason Kapono? Metta World Peace? Yikes. On top of that, the Clippers will be showing you up IN YOUR OWN BUILDING...every single night. On the bright side, Lakers fans, Kobe will sulk his way into forcing Mitch Kupchak to fire Mike Brown by Valentine's Day and trade the house for Dwight Howard....and we all know how well Kobe acted the last time the Lakers had a big-time center come to L.A. from Orlando, right?

8. Denver Nuggets - Truth be told, the Nuggets would be a nice sleeper pick to come out of the West if three of their best players weren't trapped in China. With Kenyon Martin, J.R. Smith and Wilson Chandler all stuck in the Far East, who is doing the crunchtime scoring for this team? Hell, who's doing the scoring at all for this team? Ty Lawson? Aaron Afflalo, maybe? Lawson and Afflalo are nice pieces and I love the addition of Kenny Faried(Newark, NJ in the house!) but this team has a lot of talent not on the roster. Rudy Fernandez and Corey Brewer were nice additions, but they are role players. Unless Danilo Gallinari becomes Dirk Nowitzki this season, the Nuggets are in for a world of hurt. Plus, even when the China Three are available, they're free agents, making them no guarantee to come back to Denver. Still, Lawson's a good young point guard and they have some beef up front with Timmy Mosgov and Nene(and Faried will prove to be one of the game's best bangers from jump street) but this team is missing an alpha dog. Until they find him, this is a team of spare parts that's just good enough to fend off the rest of the pack.

EAST

1. Chicago Bulls - I loved, loved, LOVED the Richard Hamilton signing. If he doesn't show his age, he's a good pickup for a team that was dying for a 2-guard. I would have liked them to sign someone younger and more athletic that can run with D-Rose like Jason Richardson or even deal for O.J. Mayo but Hamilton is still a good move as a proven playoff scorer and gifted shooter. The Bulls have the team to make it to the Finals. There are just a few questions. Will Derrick Rose stay motivated after signing his big extension? We've seen many a young point guard lose their way after getting that big money(Looking at you, Rajon Rondo!). Can Carlos Boozer stay healthy? If so, the Bulls have the best front court in basketball with him and Joakim Noah and the duo of Omar Asik and Taj Gibson off the bench. Tom Thibodeau will have this team at the top of the league's best defensive units again and the presence of Rip will take pressure off Rose, who was held in check by LeBron and the Heat in the Conference Finals once LBJ D'ed up on him. There isn't much standing in Chicago's way, but I'm not ready to hand the East over to them yet.

2. Miami Heat - Quick question: If Miami offered Chris Bosh to New Orleans for Chris Paul, would that have been that horrible of a move for either team? Bosh thrives on lousy teams and CP3 would have been the perfect third wheel for the Wade-LeBron Heat combo. I guess we'll never know. The Heat shocked some people by coming together when it mattered and making a run to the Finals before running out of gas against the Mavericks. Now, they are back with just a few small changes. The rotting corpse of Big Z is gone and has since been replaced by the obese frame of Eddy Curry, who somehow made the Heat roster despite being the size of Rick Ross. Eddie House is gone and, in his place, the team brought in Shane Battier. Battier isn't great in any one area and he might be a couple years over the hill but he's a proven leader, a solid defender and someone who won't slack off at any point in the season. Another guy getting some buzz is point guard Norris Cole, a rookie point guard out of Cleveland State who might take Mario Chalmers' starting gig. The Heat are still everything they were last year: a collection of young stars and old big names. They have enough depth to survive the short season and Wade-LBJ-Bosh is still a daunting task for any team on any given night. Can they finish what they started last season or did they shoot their load too early trying to prove themselves last year?

3. Boston Celtics - As with San Antonio, this was a respect call. The Celtics are old, frail and not very deep. In a better conference, they may be lucky to sniff the playoffs. So, why do I have them as a three seed? Because Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen and Rajon Rondo is a hell of a foursome in a weak East and I expect the Celtics to make a couple midseason additions to keep their scant hopes at a title going. The Mikael Pietrus signing was a nice move for a team needing young legs in the backcourt but, beyond the Big Four, there isn't much. Jermaine O'Neal was washed up five years ago. Same for Chris Wilcox and those are two main bigs for Boston outside of Brandon Bass. Marquis Daniels, Keyon Dooling and JaJuan Johnson are nothing to get excited over either. Still, they have a solid core and I trust Doc Rivers to be smart enough to conserve his aging vets until the games actually matter. It's going to be hard to watch for Celtics fans but the team has too much talent in the starting five to be dead in the water.

4. New York Knicks - Welcome back to relevance, Knicks fans. The Knicks made a couple interesting moves this offseason. For one, they overpaid for Tyson Chandler but he's the type of lanky, shotblocking interior presence the team hasn't had since the Marcus Camby days. They are hoping to get something out of Baron Davis to run Mike D'Antoni's offense but I have my doubts over a guy who has had trouble staying in shape his entire career suddenly being able to look like John Basedow after missing the first two months recovering from back surgery. In the meantime, the Knicks will try to stay afloat with what's left of Mike Bibby and Toney Douglas. Depth is also a concern as the team doesn't have much thanks to trading half the roster to Denver for Carmelo Anthony. Still, they did get Carmelo and the combination of him and Amare Stoudemire with Chandler protecting the rim is good enough to make the Knicks a contender. If Davis can come back motivated and in shape, then they pulled off the sneakiest signing in years....but that's a huge if. For now, the Knicks are a well-balanced team on both sides of the ball that's a key injury away from being an 8 seed.

5. Indiana Pacers - If Indiana got O.J. Mayo, as they've tried to do on two seperate occassions, this Pacers team could be a legit three seed and possible dark horse in the East. Still, the team did make a nice move in getting David West from New Orleans, even if D-West is coming off a blown out knee. West will be spelled by the high-energy duo of Tyler Hansbrough(who I like a lot this year) and Louis Amundson(acquired from Golden State a week ago) and will has a beast of a center inside in Roy Hibbert to take pressure off him in the paint. If the Pacers can keep West rested until playoff time, he's going to be a problem for opposing teams because he's a stout rebounder who can score in the paint and with a good outside jumper. Another good move was acquiring George Hill from San Antonio. He and Darren Collison make a nice tandem at point guard with Hill occassionally moving to the two when the team goes small. Oh, and did I mention the team has the most underrated player in the game in Danny Granger? Granger and second-year man Paul George give this team two versatile youngsters on the wing who can fill up the entire stat sheet. The Pacers could be the East's version of the Thunder this year. They have good depth and balance and, if they get anything close to what David West has given the Hornets over the years, they are going to be a tough out in the playoffs.

6. Orlando Magic - Obviously, this spot is contigent on either a. Dwight Howard staying all season(highly unlikely) or b. the team getting something of value for Doomsday to keep them competitive this season(also unlikely). Looking at this roster, it amazes me that D-12 wants out. This is a better assemblence of talent than LeBron ever had in Cleveland and those Cavs teams won 50 games annually. The Magic would be a nice dark horse this year because they are deep and have talent in every facet of the game. They can block shots with the game's premier defender in Howard. They have good rebounders in guys like Big Baby Davis and Ryan Anderson. Hedo Turkoglu and Jason Richardson are nice complementary pieces. Jameer Nelson is one of the game's best point guards, when healthy and J.J. Redick is a 6th Man of the Year candidate if he regains his shooting touch from his Duke days. Still, the team, much like Denver was last year with Melo, is going to be crippled by 24-7 questions about Howard's future until they eventually deal their prized big man. That's why it would have made more sense for Orlando to deal Howard before the season and avoid the distraction. Now, until they find a deal or get Howard's name on an extension, their hopes of contending are pretty much doomed.

7. Atlanta Hawks - This may be wishful thinking on my part because I feel this is the year it all comes apart at the seams for the Hawks. For one, swapping Jamal Crawford for what's left of Tracy McGrady was a downgrade for Atlanta. T-Mac hasn't mattered in half a decade. I also get the sinking feeling the team will start off slow and find a way to trade Josh Smith. Too many farfetched factors have to happen for the Hawks to even be decent this year. Atlanta's main guys off the bench this year are McGrady, Jerry Stackhouse and Vlad Radmanovic? Umm....this isn't 2002. Marvin Williams will continue on his career as "the guy the Hawks took ahead of Deron Williams and Chris Paul", otherwise known as "Sam Bowie 2.0". Al Horford took a step back last year and J-Smith is still a work in progress on the offensive end. The team thinks point guard Jeff Teague has some promise and, he did show signs in the playoffs, but he's not a star. It could all end bad for Atlanta. Right now, they benefit from playing in a weak conference where the teams below them are all rebuilding but a slow start will be this team's death knell.

8. Philadelphia 76ers - Another sneaky young team that could screw around and be higher than projected. A couple reasons I'm optimistic about Philly's chances: They have a nice young nucleus with Iggy, Thad Young, Jrue Holiday and Marreese Speights. Elton Brand is still a monster inside and Lou Williams is a nice piece off the bench(Unrelated note: Given the collection of talent this team has, and I realize this goes against everything I just wrote about why I'm optimistic about Philly, wouldn't this be the perfect team for the Lakers to trade Andrew Bynum to? You're telling me Bynum for Iggy, Lou Williams and Tony Battie doesn't work for both teams? Maybe even swap out Williams for Evan Turner? Just sayin'.). My reasons for pessimism: Either Evan Turner isn't the goods or he's being buried by Doug Collins. Evan Turner was supposed to be the nice consolation prize in last year's draft after John Wall. I know it's early, but shouldn't he be at least the 2nd best guy on this team right now? Speaking of Collins, I just have no faith in that guy as a coach. None. He's failed pretty much everywhere else because his guys tune him out after awhile. Why wouldn't that happen here with a team filled with young guys? If Turner turns out to be everything he was at Ohio St and they continue to get solid contributions from Young and Iguodala and Holiday, the Sixers could be tough but they are a bit too green and poorly coached to make a dent in a top-heavy East.

MVP: Dwayne Wade, G, Heat - The three front runners according to all the prognostication sites is LeBron, Kevin Durant and Chris Paul. All worthy choices and I would have went with KD if I didn't get burned last year by picking him. My question is: Why not D-Wade? He's proven that, when it matters most, he's the guy for Miami and not LeBron. After all, Miami is WADE COUNTY. The only thing holding Flash back is his inability to stay healthy. You can't see a motivated D-Wade coming off a Finals defeat that still burns inside him coming into this season in impeccable shape and going to into complete Takeover Mode for 66 games? Is 30-6-6 an unrealistic stat line for Flash? I don't think so. CP3 gets the buzz because the Clips will be the most exciting team in basketball. LeBron is proven but he's also severely disliked and Durant has to make the decision to tell Russell Westbrook "This is my team!" before I can pick him to be MVP again. My money's on Wade this season.

Defensive Player of the Year: Serge Ibaka, F/C, Thunder - When picking DPOY, you pretty much have too options: Dwight Howard or anybody else. The reasons behind Howard winning it the last three years is as much about reputation as it is numbers. Serge Ibaka is every bit as intimidating a defensive presence as D-12. He just doesn't have the resume or the promotion. After awhile, people get tired of voting for the same guy, so I think this one is a toss-up between Ibaka and Memphis' Tony Allen.

Rookie of the Year: Derrick Williams, F, Timberwolves - His teammate Ricky Rubio will be the most exciting but Derrick Williams, to me, was the best player in a so-so draft. He can score inside or out. He's a decent defender and he can play multiple positions. It's just a matter of him finding playing time on a crowded Minnesota team. This one is pretty much between Williams and Kyrie Irving, with The Jimmer as a dark horse.

Coach of the Year: Rick Carlisle, Mavericks - Because the man has been a great coach with three teams now and doesn't get nearly the props that Popp or Doc Rivers gets.

Sixth Man of the Year: Lamar Odom, F, Mavericks - L.O. can play pretty much anywhere because he's athletic, a good defender and has suprisingly good handle for a big man, so he'll find key minutes for Dallas. Plus, after being traded from L.A. and dying to make his first All-Star team, he's going to be extra motivated to put up big numbers.

Western Conference Finals: Grizzlies over Thunder in 6 - Before your jaws drop, take a long look at this Western Conference and tell me who you like with serious conviction. It's as wide open as its been in years. The days of the Lakers, Jazz, and Spurs running things is over. The Mavs can still repeat but history and their new roster aren't on their side. The Grizzlies have a lot of talent and last year's run will pay off dividends in terms of experience going into this season. Find me a better starting five than, if healthy, Marc Gasol-Zach Randolph-Rudy Gay-OJ Mayo-Mike Conley Jr. You can't. As for the bench, the Thunder have the slight edge but I'm not riding with Oklahoma City until I see proof that they've figured out the power share with KD and Westbrook. Plus, Quincy Pondexter, Xavier Henry, Sam Young, Tony Allen and Dante Cunningham is still a pretty decent bench.

Eastern Conference Finals: Heat over Bulls in 7 - Because Miami has answers to anything Chicago can throw at them. Derrick Rose? Still has to figure out how to get by LeBron. The presence of Rip Hamilton? Nullified by Dwayne Wade. Boozer and Noah up front? Ok, maybe Miami doesn't have an answer for that. Miami is the only team that can match Chicago skill for skill and two stars are better than one and a half, so I'll ride with Miami this year.

NBA Finals: Heat over Grizzlies in 6 - This is going to be a far more entertaining Finals than last year and, with the short season, LeBron will only have to go hard for 66 games and the playoffs rather than 82 and the playoffs. Same for D-Wade. If Erik Spolstera is smart enough to not use up all the gas in his stars' tanks, the Heat will overwhelm a very game Grizzlies team because they are athletic enough to run with them and have enough big bodies to throw at Gasol and Z-Bo. I think this is Miami's year. The trio has come together and little pieces like Shane Battier and whomever they manage to bring in midseason(be it, Antawn Jamison or Nate Robinson or another big) will allow the team to not rely so heavily on The Big Three.

Week 16 Picks cont....

2011-12-24T09:17:00.006-05:00

We both came up empty after Dan Orlovsky improved his career-best winning streak to two by leading the Colts to an upset over soon to be one-and-done Houston on Thursday night.

Here's our take on the rest of the Christmas weekend festivities in the NFL.....

(Dave's Note: Gabe emailed me his picks, which is awesome in terms of getting the picks posted quickly but unfortunate in the fact that he's unable to respond to my numerous quips....including the video posted in the Jets-Giants write-up.)

Raiders (+2.5) at Chiefs

Dave: Chiefs - Last Sunday was a miserable, miserable, miserable day in the Leonardis house, albeit one I saw coming months ago. I should have known that the karma gods would strike down upon myself and my Packers and have Green Bay's undefeated streak come to a crashing halt against my wife's Chiefs. Hell, Sporting News' NFL preview predicted it as such back in August(they had GB going 15-1...the one loss? You guessed it. At KC). My newly-raised concern for my boys heading into January is something I'll cover later. As for this week, I'd like to think if Kyle Orton is starting for KC a few weeks ago when Matt Cassel went down and Todd Haley is fired a few weeks prior, that the Chiefs would still be in the division hunt. Orton's a competent QB and, for some reason, the team never responded to Haley's methods. The Raiders, meanwhile, completely screwed themselves out of the playoffs by going all-in on Carson Palmer and now have the daunting task of playing the Chiefs at Arrowhead. Have fun with that, Raider Nation. Chiefs by 9.

Gabe: Chiefs

Broncos (-2.5) at Bills

Dave: Broncos - One word: Teeeeeeeeeeeeeeebbbbbbbbbboooooooooooow!!!!

Gabe: Bills

Jaguars (+7.5) at Titans

Dave: Titans - Tennessee comes into this one pissed off, having not only lost to then-winless Indy last Sunday but also now having to avoid a losing streak by beating a Jags team that beat them back in Week 1. I'm not ready to give up on Blaine Gabbert like many have already. When the Jags lock down Justin Blackmon or Alshon Jeffrey and give Gabbert a weapon, we'll see how he does. For now, he has to try to fend off a sneaky-good Titans defense and hope that his own D can halt Matt Hasselbeck(trying to save his job for next season, while also trying to keep Tennessee's scant playoff hopes alive) and Chris Johnson(finally shaking off the rigamortis built up the first three months of the season). I think the Titans D clamps down on MoJo D, forces Gabbert to make a few mistakes and they walk away with a 10-point W.

Gabe: Titans

Cardinals (+4.5) at Bengals

Dave: Cardinals - I'm down a few games here to Gabe, so I think I'll go a little bold this week. The Cards may actually be better than most, including myself, have given them credit for this season and John Skelton has emerged as the antithesis to the "Tim Tebow is a franchise QB because he knows how to win" argument that morons like Skip Bayless have been spewing for months(and, hell, I like Tebow....but I'm not willing to put him in Canton like some are). I think Skelton takes advantage of a battered Bengals secondary and slightly edges out Andy Dalton in a shootout. Cards with the upset by 3.

Gabe: Bengals

Dolphins (+9.5) at Patriots

Dave: Patriots - The last time these two teams met, Tom Brady put up 517 yards on the Phins and embarrassed Miami in front of a national audience on Monday Night Football. The Dolphins are a better team than the bunch that strolled into Gillette three months ago. Reggie Bush has finally turned himself into a legit starting RB. Matt Moore has resurrected his career from a virtual nobody to seat-filler for Landry Jones and Miami's secondary is better than people think. With all that said, I think Brady romps here again and locks down the top seed in the AFC with another brilliant performance. Pats by 13.

Gabe: Dolphins

Browns (+12) at Ravens

Dave: Ravens - It took some time but I finally figured Joe Flacco out....he's a pre-2007 Eli Manning. Remember before the 2007 playoffs when everyone, including Eli's biggest fan Gabe Rodriguez, were wanting to throw Eli out of the Big Apple because he was maddeningly inconsistent, showed no emotion when he would throw back-breaking picks and looked like an outright bust(especially while draftmate Ben Roethlisberger was winning rings in Pittsburgh)? That's Flacco right now. He practically copied "The Manning Face"(now equipped with the handlebar mustache John Travolta used in "Taking of Pelham 123") Sunday night in his dismal performance against the Chargers. Further adding to his inconsistent resume, Flacco will storm the field at M&T and torch the Browns, leading to a slew of "Where was this Joe Flacco a week ago?" arguments and "If Flacco plays like this, can anyone beat Baltimore come playoff time?" debates. Ravens by 16.

Gabe: Ravens

Giants (+3) vs. Jets (Technically, it's a home game for the Jets but they both share the same building!)

Dave: Jets - Even as a Packers fan, I'd rather see this game be the primetime special on Christmas Day over Green Bay-Chicago. For one, there's more at stake. Both teams' seasons are on the brink. It's a battle between two sneaky Super Bowl contenders that play in the same city....which just so happens to be the biggest sports market in the country. It's a rivalry that dates back for decades and includes moments like Jason Sehorn snapping his leg in half against Gang Green in a meaningless preseason game(and then spending his recovery time kissing up to Angie Harmon, who used to be a fox but now looks more like Mark Gastineau than Brittney Gastineau). It's Giants fans going crazy backing their boys after Big Blue receivers spent the week downplaying Darrelle Revis. It's Giants fans then looking stupid when Revis Island claims another victim and picks off two Eli Manning passes. It's Ryan vs. Coughlin. It's smashmouth football. Most importantly, it's Gabe Rodriguez in a tattered Rodney Hampton jersey with a gold Jesus piece on and a Mets hat tilted to the right while THIS is playing on a constant loop throughout the Rodriguez residence. It's me getting excited and using 140 words on a game I'll miss because I'll be at work. It's the Jets winning by 6 and ending New York's playoff hopes and forcing us to listen to "Will the Giants fire Tom Coughlin?" questions for the next two weeks. It's me not trying to be bitter over Mark Sanchez dating Kate Upton. It's......ok, you get the point.

Gabe: Giants

Vikings (+7) at Redskins

Dave: Redskins - Is it bad that I used nearly two paragraphs on Giants-Jets but don't want to use more than two sentences on this steaming pile of shit matchup? I'll take the soon-to-be RG3-led Redskins over the Christian Ponder-led Vikes by 9.

Gabe: Redskins

Bucs (+7.5) at Panthers

Dave: Panthers - With the Colts making sort of a comeback, the Rams tragically battered and the Vikes woefully incompetent, can the case be made that Tampa Bay is the worst team in the NFL? I think so. Look at all the potential this team had coming into the season. You could at least point to those previous teams and say "Well, if such-and-such didn't get hurt..." or "Had they done this earlier..." as a possible reason for their standings atop the Draft in April. What's Tampa's excuse? Josh Freeman has played pretty much all year(and played poorly, mind you). They got a full season out of their young receivers. LaGarrette Blount missed a couple games but he's been mostly healthy. You can't use the "their rookies didn't have time to get adjusted to the defense" argument when guys like Von Miller are looking like the second coming of Jevon Kearse. The Bucs just flat-out dropped the ball. The Panthers, meanwhile? They are going to be scary good in a couple years. Cam-Cam has only sniffed his potential as a dual threat and, once Ron Rivera builds that defense up, they are going to give teams fits. Panthers by 10.

Gabe: Panthers

Rams (+13) at Steelers

Dave: Steelers - Because the Steelers should have made this QB switch two weeks ago when Big Ben's ankle bent in half instead of allowing Big Ben to bully them these last two games. Because the Rams aren't going to be able to do dick against this Pittsburgh defense. Because I think Batch will get the ball out early and we'll see a few more big plays than we have in recent weeks, especially from Mike Wallace. Because I can smell the Rams sneaking up on the Colts for the #1 pick and then we spend the first four months of 2012 speculating on whether they trade Sam Bradford or Andrew Luck. Because I needed a reason to write a paragraph starting every sentence with because. Because the Rams' pass rush will probably exploit this terrible Steeler offensive line and I'll look like an idiot. Because I'm an idiot, I'm still saying Steelers with the shutout and win by 17.

Gabe: Steelers

Chargers (+2) at Lions

Dave: Lions - Oh, beleaguered Chargers fan base, your Bolts have conned you into having hope with another late stretch run again. Look, your team is better than its record but it has been held back for a long time thanks to poor coaching and even poorer management. You should have had three rings by now either from the Brees-LT-McCardell nucleus or the Rivers-LT-Sproles-Gates-Jackson nucleus. You blew it. You cursed yourselves when A.J. Smith foolishly canned Marty and now you're paying for it and the end of the Norv Turner era starts today. Phillip Rivers isn't going to be able to play pitch-and-catch with the Lions like he did with the Ravens. Not with a pissed off Ndomukong Suh in his face, he won't. I like the Lions big here with a few Stafford-to-Megatron bombs. Lions by 17.

Gabe: Chargers

Niners (+1) at Seahawks

Dave: Niners - If not for that L against Arizona, the Niners would have every reason to just rest their starters and sit back on that 2 seed. Instead, they have to work a little harder for that first round bye and go into a tough place to play in Qwest Field and pull off a W on four days rest. Because of that, I think this game will be closer than one might expect. The Seahawks are pretty good against the run and Seattle's offense has shown some signs of life this season, especially when Marshawn Lynch is in Beast Mode. I think Seattle makes San Fran earn it here but Alex Smith and company walk out with a 6-point win.

Gabe: Niners

Eagles (+1.5) at Cowboys

Dave: Eagles - When Gabe's Giants lose to the Jets, I, then, will have to figure which team of the two teams I hate the most in the NFL(Dallas and Philly) to root against in the playoffs. I wish there was a way where no team from the NFC East could get a playoff spot and that spot could, instead, go to a team like LSU or Alabama....just for shits and giggles. I like Philly here because they roasted the Cowboys a month ago, and that was when Dallas actually had DeMarco Murray. Now, they are without Murray AND Felix Jones(surprise, surprise! Good job taking "The Cat" over CJ2K a few years ago, Jerry Jones!) and face Philly when they actually have a glimmer of hope of making the playoffs. Mike Vick is going to tear up this porous Dallas secondary. We'll get at least 35 shots of Rob Ryan looking like Sean Connery in "The Rock", screaming and yelling on the sidelines. Tony Romo will find a way to find his favorite target, Asante Sameul, at least once and Jerry Jones' plastic face will contort in a new way to express his disappointment in the unlovable losers that HE built. Ugh. Eagles by 14.

Gabe: Cowboys

Bears (+11) at Packers

Dave: Bears - I'm taking NO chances here. Last week, facing a team starting its 3rd string QB that had just fired its coach, Green Bay found a way to come up short against Kansas City. Now, they get Chicago and third string Josh McCown, who hasn't played since 2009. Do I think Green Bay will lose? No. But keep in mind that Chicago always plays Green Bay tough, that the Packers' offensive line is beat up and that this Packers defense made Kyle Orton look like Joe Montana a month after making him look like Giovanni Carmazzi when Orton was in Denver. It's amazing how a five-point loss to Kansas City can make you change your mind from "We're gonna repeat" to "I don't know if we'll win a playoff game this year". That's how concerned I am over by boys. The NFC is surprisingly deep this year. Detroit would probably be a 2 seed in the AFC, and they are the 6 seed in the NFC. There isn't a team I feel comfortable facing come next month, and that includes shaky Dallas or Philly. The Greg Jennings injury was manageable because we had depth and he'll be back when it matters. But Derrek Sherrod breaking his leg, Bryan Bulaga hurting his knee and Chad Clifton showing his age officially has me at an all-time high on the "Aw, fuck!" scale. Packers will anger-bang the Bears here but it won't be a blowout because this defense hasn't put a team away in weeks. I'll say Green Bay by 9.

Gabe: Packers

Falcons (+6.5) at Saints

Dave: Falcons - A rare good game on MNF. It's a Christmas miracle! Soon the blind shall see and the limp shall walk! The last Falcons-Saints clash came down to the wire(in fact, the last four games between these two have been decided by three points), and that's before Atlanta got hot like they are now. Either way, both of these teams are going to end up in the playoffs but Atlanta could do their division rivals a disservice by helping to cost them a first round bye by snagging a W here. A couple of interesting things to also look forward to Monday night: Drew Brees needs 305 yards to pass Dan Marino for the single-season passing yards record and Matt Ryan needs 303 to notch 4,000....which means we're going to see two teams sling it all night long.....like Peter North at a frat party. I think New Orleans wins this one, but I think it will be close yet again. Saints by 3.

Gabe: Saints

Week 16 Picks

2011-12-22T12:35:00.005-05:00

Completing a comeback of Frank Reich proportions, Gabe took the lead with just a couple weeks left to play thanks to a stellar Week 15(or a dismal Week 15 by Dave, whomever you want to point the finger at). Gabe still has two weeks to blow his standing atop the mountain, much like his Giants and Mets and Dave also has two weeks worth of games to embarrass himself like his Packers did last Sunday at Arrowhead Stadium.

We kick off the Week 16 with our take on tonight's battle between the surging Indianapolis Colts and division champion Houston Texans.

LAST WEEK

Gabe: 10-4-2

Dave: 5-9-2

SEASON

Gabe: 111-105-11

Dave: 108-108-11

Texans (-6.5) at Colts

Dave: Texans - I wonder who got more raw of a deal in terms of primetime scheduling: ESPN with Monday Night Football or the NFL Network with their Thursday/Saturday slate. Either way, these games have been as unwatchable as an Oprah Winfrey-Danny Glover sex tape. The Colts are coming off their first win of the season, so you wonder if coach Jim Caldwell is going to give them the Lou Brown speech from "Major League II": "If we win one more, that's what they call a 'winning streak.". It makes the most sense for Indy to continue licking the stamp on the season they've mailed in so far and just take a dive against the Texans and hang on to that #1 pick. After getting humiliated by Carolina(a game your boys at BoomRoasted forgot to pick), Houston isn't going to let themselves get beat by their second lowly team in five days. Heavy dose of Arian Foster here, mixed with some Ben Tate. Texans by 10.

Gabe: Texans

Week 15 Picks cont...

2011-12-18T08:59:00.007-05:00

Both men bring undefeated Week 15 records into Sunday after nailing two easy lay-ups in Atlanta and Dallas.

On to the rest of Week 15....

Redskins (+6.5) at Giants

Dave: Giants - When I told you last year that Jason Pierre-Paul was going to be a monster, I hope you listened to me. Right now, the Redskins' best strategy is to just punt the last three games in hopes of landing someone like RGIII or Matt Barkley. The Giants need to win out and they have all the momentum after yet another comeback victory, this time against Dallas. Eli goes for 300 here, JPP notches two more sacks and Gabe stands on his couch in a wife-beater and a Jesus piece while listening to "Lean Back" and doing the Rockaway at halftime. Giants by 13.

Gabe: Giants - My Giants have all of the momentum in the world right now. They finally got off the schneid, thanks in large part to Jason Garrett mismanaging the end of last Sunday night's game. JPP goes off and the Giants offense overwhelms the Redskins D. Giants by two touchdowns.

Packers (-13.5) at Chiefs

Dave: Packers - How angry would I be if my Packers lost to my wife's Chiefs? I told my wife it would be the equivalent of me coming home from a 23-hour shift at work to find her in a threesome with two other dudes while she was simultaneously stabbing both of our cats. Unless Romeo Crennel knows something about Ricky Stanzi that the world doesn't, I see this being another W for Titletown even without Greg Jennings. If it's not....this may very well be the last blog you read from me. Packers by 17.

Gabe: Chiefs - Quite simply, I think two touchdowns is too big of a spread. I have no real logical reason to think the Chiefs are even capable of hanging with the Packers, but two touchdowns is a huge number and I'd love to see the look on Dave's face if the Packers fuck around and lose this game.

Saints (-7.5) at Vikings

Dave: Saints - It's not a good sign when you have a QB controversy this late in the season.....even worse a sign if that battle is between Joe Webb and Christian Ponder. Less of a dispute and more unnerving for Viking fans is the fact that Adrian Peterson returns this week. What does that mean for their chances against N'awlins? Well, nothing, but it gives them a puncher's chance of staying within a touchdown. More likely, though, is Drew Brees carving up this horrid Vikings defense and Saints winning by double digits. Also, someday, somebody will explain to me how Leslie Frazier was able to keep his job after a season like this.

Gabe: Saints - Drew Brees is going to go off today and if the Vikings think they can run with the Saints, they are playing right into Drew Brees' hands. He loves a shootout. Saints by 14.

Seahawks (+3.5) at Bears

Dave: Seahawks - This Bears offense is stagnant without Jay Cutler and even more lifeless with Matt Forte out. The Seahawks are hardly "The Greatest Show On Turf" but they've managed to pull off a few upsets over some heavy hitters(Giants, Ravens) with the occasional offensive explosion. At the very least, Seattle keeps this within a field goal. More likely, Marshawn Lynch puts a dent in this Bears defense and derails their playoff hopes with an upset at Soldier Field. Seahawks by 6.

Gabe: Seahawks - The Seahawks are quietly getting their shit together. At the same time Chicago is falling apart. I honestly don't think the Chicago offense can keep up. I'll take the Seahawks for the straight up win.

Dolphins (+1.5) at Bills

Dave: Bills - I'm not sure why I keep riding with Buffalo except the fact that this game will be played in the cold, the Dolphins can't really run the ball and they just fired their head coach after he rallied the team back from an 0-7 start to win four of his last five. If that doesn't spell a team going into the tank as a final "Fuck you!" to the powers-that-be, then I'm not sure what will. Bills get one last W to salvage what once looked like a dream season. Buffalo by 7.

Gabe: Miami - I would like the Dolphins a lot more in the game if they hadn't just fired their coach. They were winning games and had some momentum. Buffalo has gone back to being terrible. I'll take a flyer and take Miami and the points.

Titans (-6.5) at Colts

Dave: Titans - I was going to continue my trend from last week and just write "Next!" but I wanted to say one quick thing. If voters rob Aaron Rodgers of a unanimous victory for the NFL MVP after he's put on one of the greatest QB seasons in history for a team that might go undefeated because they can't somehow detach their mouths from Peyton Manning's penis, then SHAME..ON...THEM. With or without Peyton Manning, this Colts team was going to be worse than in years' past. 0-16 bad? No. Potentially 5-11? Absolutely. Enough's enough with the Peyton Manning MVP hype.

Gabe: Titans - Next!

Bengals (-7) at Rams

Dave: Bengals - Andy Dalton vs. Kellen Clemens in a battle of two QB's who look like shortstops. Many have Dalton winning the ROTY but I really think he and A.J. Green will have a Willis McGahee-Ken Dorsey for the Heisman effect come voting time. Can you really make the case that one would have been as good without the other? I think the two cancel out and Cam Newton wins this one going away. If your only argument for Dalton is his team has more wins than Newton's, then you have no argument. I don't believe in team accomplishments affecting individual awards. Maybe that's just me. As for this game, I can't see St. Louis notching more than 6 points here. Bengals by 17.

Gabe: Bengals - The Bengals have been beating bad teams and losing to good ones. The Rams suck. Bengals by 11.

Lions (-1) at Raiders

Dave: Lions - A couple factors here: Ndomukong Suh is back and pissed off. The Lions are desperate to stay in the playoff hunt with Chicago having a potential gimme against Seattle, the Falcons blowing out Jacksonville and New York or Dallas on their heels. Also, Carson Palmer just looks plain awful since "unretiring". The Raiders are going to give Matt Stafford plenty of opportunities to go for 400 yards and 5 scores against them thanks to Palmer's Mr. Magoo passing accuracy. I'm thinking Lions by 10.

Gabe: Lions - Suh is going to keep it together for at least one game, right? Either way, the Lions are still fighting to get into the playoffs and need this win. Stafford should have a nice game. Lions by a touchdown.

Patriots (-7.5) at Broncos

Dave: Patriots - I fancy myself a Tim Tebow fan but even I recognize this as a battle of two overhyped evils. The media thinks everything Tebow does is magic and a win here will turn him from Football Jesus to an actual God. As for Brady, the man can never do any wrong in the eyes of the sports media so a win here will be just a day at the park for him. However, Brady comes into this for the first time in a while as NOT the most hyped QB on the field. The Patriots have had to hear Tebow's name all week. You really think Bill Belichick, who successfully outsmarted a cerebral assassin like Peyton Manning for a few years, hasn't spent tireless man hours coming up with a scheme to control Touchdown Timmy and finally put a stop to all this Tebow madness? Denver's not going to keep up with the Brady Bunch offensively. Pats by 14.

Gabe: Patriots - Did anyone see the Tim Tebow sketch on SNL last night? Outstanding. I think Tom Brady won't say it out loud, but he and Coach Hoodie want to win this game 49-0. I think the Pats go up big and do it early and take all of the steam out of the game. Pats by 17.

Jets (+2.5) at Eagles

Dave: Jets - A battle between two teams that should have been a lot better this season that also possess two excellent secondaries. This game will come down to who can run the ball because passing will be at a premium. We know Philly can't stop the run. We know, every now and then, New York can. We know the Jets are a smashmouth defense. We know Michael Vick is made of paper mache. I think Vince Young makes an appearance here and the Jets romp while Andy Reid gets booed out of the building. Jets by 16.

Gabe: Eagles - The Eagles' offense is really fast. I think they are too fast for the Jets. The Eagles are also at home and clinging to slim playoff hopes. They need this win. It will be a close game, but I think the Eagles get a late TD and win by 4.

Browns (+7) at Cardinals

Dave: Cardinals - Seneca Wallace vs. John Skelton.....I'd rather have my wife stand on my balls in high heels than watch this game. Joe Haden is going to put the clamps on Larry Fitzgerald so any thoughts that this will be even remotely exciting ends there. More likely, it's a field goal battle for the first three quarters before Patrick Peterson runs off another punt return TD and Arizona wins 10-6 with Jose Valverde picking up the save. And, yes, I know that means the Cardinals won't cover, but I really couldn't care less about this game.

Gabe: Browns - I was going to try to make an argument less coherent than Dave's for this game, but I'm not sure that's possible. No way the Cardinals win this by more than a touchdown. They'll win by 4 at the most, if they win at all.

Ravens (-2.5) at Chargers

Dave: Ravens - San Diego has nothing to play for, their coach is getting canned in three weeks and they are facing a team with a stout defense that could potentially wrap up the division and maybe even the one seed with a win here. I always worry about Joe Flacco playing where national TV cameras are also present but this Chargers team has been so putrid that I don't even think Flacco can screw this up. Ravens by 13 behind another big day from Ray Rice.

Gabe: Ravens - The Ravens defense is too good. The Chargers love to yack, especially in primetime. Ravens by 10.

Steelers (+3) at Niners

Dave: Steelers - No Maurkice Pouncey. No James Harrison and a hobbled Big Ben probably giving it a go against the best run defense in the country. This should be all San Fran, right? Wrong. As much of an impact James Harrison has for this defense, the Steelers will find a way to dominate without him. The Steelers are also pretty good against the run, too, which means the Niners are going to have to keep Pittsburgh at a distance by using the passing game. I like the Steelers' chances of moving the ball against a Pat Willis-less defense moreso than Alex Smith against this new Steel Curtain. Steelers use veteran experience to not crumble under the bright light of MNF and Alex Smith finds Troy Polamalu for the game-winning pick-6. And if you think this is bad, Niners fans, how about this: a loss here potentially drops you to the three seed and a possible date with Dallas, who beat the Niners back in Week 2. One and done for Jim Harbaugh's boys? You never know.

Gabe: Niners - The Steelers have to do all that traveling and are hobbled. The Pouncey injury could turn out to be huge. This will be a close, smash-mouth game, but I'll take the Niners to get the 4 point win.

Black Magic

2011-12-16T11:07:00.011-05:00

With Chris Paul traded to the Clippers, all of the focus now turns to the Orlando Magic and their quandary with free agent-to-be Dwight Howard(Side note: Nets PG Deron Williams is also a free agent after this season. If you're wondering why there isn't a huge fuss over whether he'll stay or go like there was with CP3 and Doomsday, it's because a. he was already traded once from Utah to New Jersey and b. he was smart enough to announce there's a good chance he'll stay with the Nets while also giving himself an out-clause by putting the chances at 90%.....meaning there's a 10% chance he has a change of heart and bolts for New York. Still, nobody has benefited more from all the hoopla surrounding Paul and Howard than D-Will. He's become the forgotten member of the 2012's Big Three. Good for him.). Howard told Orlando he'd like to be traded. The Magic shopped around before, allegedly, taking him off the trading block. D-12 said, in not many words, "That's all fine and good, but I still want a trade." That should tell you something about Howard's chances of staying put.

Now, the Magic could very well trade Howard, and my bet is he's a Laker by year's end(because the Magic aren't stupid enough to trade the best center in the league within the conference but ARE stupid enough to take back Andrew Bynum and his Joe Namath knees in return). If that last sentence made you cringe as a Magic fan, it should. Magic fans know they've been here before. You see, it's hard for Magic fans to cry about their misfortunes when you have Cleveland fans, who've never won a thing and routinely get stomach punches like the Mickey Ward-esque body shot LeBron dealt them last summer during "The Decision". It's hard for Magic fans to whine about losing talent when you compare what they lost to what the Hornets have lost over the last two decades, starting with Alonzo Mourning and culminating with this week's Paul trade.

Still, if it's hard out here for a pimp, it's even harder out here for a Magic fan. Sure, you've been to two NBA Finals in the last 16 years(which is more than, say, Nuggets fans, can say) but you got eliminated from both appearances in spectacular fashion(Swept by the Rockets in 1995, losing to the Lakers in 5 in 2009). However, because of those two appearances and the fact that the team has had its share of good fortune(locking down the first pick three times in the past two decades, including back-to-back in '92 and '93, luring Tracy McGrady and Grant Hill as free agents in 2000, etc.), fans of other teams(both successful and otherwise) turn their nose at the idea of describing Magic fans as tortured. That led me to take a deeper look into the franchise's history and why the "Here we go again...." feel with the Dwight Howard saga 15 years after losing Shaq is enough to put Magic fans on suicide watch this summer.

*May 17, 1992: The Orlando Magic win the 1992 NBA Draft lottery and use the #1 overall pick a month later on an athletic big man out of LSU named Shaquille O'Neal. Shaq wins Rookie of the Year, becomes the first rookie voted in as a starter in the All-Star Game since MJ in 1985 and takes the NBA by storm with his backboard-smashing dunks, his huge smile, outgoing personality and his awful skills on the mic as a rapper. Three years into his tenure in Orlando, Shaq leads a star-studded class with the likes of Nick Anderson, Dennis Scott, Penny Hardaway and Scott Skiles to the NBA Finals, where they would be bested by Hakeem Olajuwon's Rockets in the first of The Dream's two titles.

How it went wrong: In what should have been a sign of things to come during Shaq's career, "The Diesel" and Penny fought over Alpha Dog status and the team never built on its success from reaching the '95 Finals. In the summer of '96, Shaq skipped town to Los Angeles to become the next one in a long line of great Laker centers. The Magic became Penny's team, but the Magic floundered while Shaq won three rings in L.A. as part of the greatest post-Jordan dynasty in NBA history(Yes, Gabe, better than your Tim Duncan Spurs). Orlando never filled the void in the middle left by Shaq's departure until 2004, when they won the lottery again and selected another gregarious big man from the South. You'll get to know him a little later.

*June 30, 1993: Defying a 66-1 odds that they'd land the first pick, the Magic yet again ended up on top of the NBA Draft with a shocking win in the lottery. With the first pick of the '93 Draft, the Magic selected a graceful, potentially once-in-a-generation forward in Michigan's Chris Webber.

How it went wrong: In a moment covered in detail in Bill Simmons' "Book of Basketball", the Magic were wowed by the workouts by the aforementioned Penny Hardaway, and traded Webber to Golden State for Penny's rights, robbing the city of Orlando and the NBA of years of a new era Twin Towers with Shaq and C-Webb. Penny became a star in Orlando, while Webber clashed with Don Nelson in Golden State and went on a tailspin that saw him go to Washington for Tom Gugliotta and a few first rounders before getting his career back in order with the Sacramento Kings(where he would be held back by his own ineptitude as well as Shaq's Lakers). In an era dominated by teams led by big men, sans Jordan's Bulls(Karl Malone's Jazz, Hakeem's Rockets, David Robinson and later Tim Duncan's Spurs, Shaq's Lakers and even Patrick Ewing's Knicks), the Magic opted for the tradition inside-outside combo of Shaq and Penny. As you may have read before, Penny and Shaq couldn't co-exist and Shaq fled to L.A. while Penny became a star and then a malcontent and he, too, went West to Phoenix, where he would blow out his knee and lose his relevance. Webber, meanwhile, appeared in a few Western Conference Finals with the Kings and his potential pairing with Shaq will go down as one of the greatest "What if's" in the sport's history.

*August 3, 2000: The Magic acquire Tracy McGrady from Toronto and Grant Hill from Detroit in sign-and-trades in a dual signing that would have been a much bigger deal if it happened today. For those who are too young to remember the pre-Orlando Hill(or for those that forgot), Hill's arrival to Orlando was every bit as significant as LeBron coming to Miami last summer. Hill left the Pistons as perhaps one of the 5 or 10 best players in the league and his acquisition was seen as a huge coup for Orlando(remember, this was a time before Facebook and Twitter and round-the-clock sports coverage and blogs and everything that makes major news stories nauseating today. If Hill and T-Mac are free agents in their prime today, they probably get coaxed into signing in a big market like New York or Chicago and then we get subjected to thousands of rants about how the duo joining forces was bad for the NBA as small market owners mourn the loss of their ability to compete in today's day and age). McGrady, meanwhile, was seen as more potential than proven commodity at that point. As the understudy to his super-popular(at the time, at least) cousin, Vince Carter, in Toronto, T-Mac looked at Orlando as his opportunity to shine but experts saw him more as the Pippen to Hill's Jordan.

How it went wrong: Ankle issues completely derailed Hill's career almost the second he suited up for Orlando. He played just four games in his debut season with the Magic. In 6 seasons in Orlando, Hill played in just 200 of 410 games(starting 196 of them) and played more than 65 games in a season just twice. Without Hill, McGrady became a one-man wrecking crew, but got some help from the likes of Rookie of the Year Mike Miller. T-Mac won two scoring titles and three playoff appearances, but could never get them out of the first round. Hill would sign with Phoenix in 2007 and, in typical "Ain't that some shit, Orlando" fashion, played 70 games for the Suns his first season and managing his first full 82 the year after. McGrady grew tired with doing it all himself, went into cruise control, and the Magic floundered to a league-worst 21-61 record in 2004. McGrady demanded out of Orlando and got his wish in a trade in Houston in exchange for Steve Francis and a couple other nobodies. Ironically, McGrady would be leaving just as the Magic were about to get the big help he needed.

* June 24, 2004: The Orlando Magic use their 3rd #1 pick in 12 years on a talented big man out of Southwest Atlanta Christian Academy named Dwight Howard. Further showcasing their luck, the Magic, Orlando swings a deal with Denver to acquire the rights to St. Joesph's point guard Jameer Nelson. Howard becomes a double-double machine from Day 1 and, by 2007, he's an NBA All-Star who would later make four more All-Star appearances, win three Defensive Player of the Year awards and charms the shit out of people with an entertaining Slam Dunk Contest win in 2008 and even more entertaining title defense in a loss to 5'9 Nate Robinson a year later. After a slow start, Nelson emerges as one of the game's most underrated point men and he and Howard help lead the Magic to the Finals(although Nelson missed much of the regular season with a shoulder injury, he did make a triumphant return later in the year) after an improbably Eastern Conference Finals upset of LeBron James' Cavs. The Magic lose to Kobe's Lakers but not before notching their first Finals win in franchise history.

How it went wrong: The only explanation for Howard's desire to leave Orlando is a combination of the allure of the big market and the fear that his career as a one-man show will be parallel to McGrady's. Many big names have come and gone as potential Doomsday sidekicks from Rashard Lewis to Vince Carter to Jason Richardson to Gilbert Arenas, but the Magic keep falling short. Whether he's dealt this season or not, Howard's chances of staying in Orlando are bleak. To make matters worse, the team that has the best chance of landing D-12 is the same team that stole Shaq away a little more than a decade and a half ago. That's tough to watch for Magic fans and the sense of deja vu is enough to cause riots at Disney World. As for Nelson, he doesn't have the likes of Rafer Alston or Courtney Lee or Arenas to try to syphon his playing time away but his desire to stay in Orlando is probably linked to Howard's status.

Unless the Magic can get a Godfather offer for Howard, the future is bleak for Orlando. Dwight Howard's the best center in basketball and, at 26, he still hasn't even sniffed his prime yet. That's scary when you consider he's already a 20-15 guy based on power and athleticism alone. Imagine Howard feasting on defenses that can't double him because of Kobe Bryant or him tearing down the house in Brooklyn, catching lobs from Deron Williams. It's something exciting the think about....unless you're a Magic fan.

Week 15 Picks

2011-12-15T11:55:00.005-05:00

It's coming down to the wire with three weeks to play! Gabe shortened Dave's lead to just two after a slightly less terrible Week 14.

On to Week 15 and tonight's unwatchable Jags-Falcons clash as well as the slightly-more-entertaining-for-sheer-comedic-purposes that is Cowboys-Bucs on Saturday night.

LAST WEEK

Gabe: 8-7-1

Dave: 6-9-1

SEASON

Dave: 103-99-9

Gabe: 101-101-9

Jaguars (+11.5) at Falcons

Dave: Falcons - Not as easy as a pick as it seems. For some reason, this Falcons offense is on cruise control so any preliminary thoughts of this being a 42-3 rout need to be tempered. The Falcons do stop the run well and that's really the only way Jacksonville moves the ball. Still, while this game will be hard to watch, I think we're looking at something closer to 28-10 than 35-0 because, other than Green Bay, nobody is really blowing scrubs out of the water on a consistent basis. Falcons by 14.

Gabe: Falcons

Cowboys (-7) at Bucs

Dave: Cowboys - I was tempted to go with Tampa given Dallas' December woes.....and then I saw this. On the one hand, Jay Ratliff flying off the handle at a reporter can be seen as a loss of composure. I see it, however, as bad news for the middle of Tampa's offensive line. The Bucs turn the ball over A LOT. Josh Freeman has 18 INT's on the season and RB LaGarrette Blount has lost five fumbles. Those numbers might not matter much against this shit-show of a secondary, but I'll take anger and desperation over talented and mistake-prone. Cowboys by 10.

Gabe: Cowboys

Fake NBA Headline of the Week: Boycotting His Airness

2011-12-15T10:43:00.004-05:00

Throughout his illustrious career, Micheal Jordan was as synonymous with selling sneakers as he was winning championships and dunking from the foul line.

That distinction seems poised to take a hit. Fourteen current NBA players signed to represent Jordan's clothing company have announced that they're done with being a part of the Jordan brand after the legendary Chicago Bull-turned-Charlotte Bobcats owner "turned his back" on the players at labor negotiations during the NBA lockout.

Knicks forward Carmelo Anthony, Miami Heat guard Dwayne Wade, Celtics guard Ray Allen, Hawks swingman Joe Johnson and new Clippers point man Chris Paul were some of the more notable names to pull their names off Jordan's roster. Others include Rockets shooter Kevin Martin, Blazers forward Gerald Wallace and a man who currently finds himself the awkward position of working under Jordan in two capacities: Bobcats point guard D.J. Augustin.

Said Augustin of the possibility of backlash from MJ over removing himself from Jordan's clothing company: "Maybe he'll trade me for peanuts like he did everybody else on this team."

The players' argument is that Jordan, who endured the same labor strife prior to his second retirement in 1998, flipped on the player's union he was once the most popular member of by publicly championing the owners to remain vigilant in their stance against the players, even if it meant the loss of the 2011 NBA season. Because of that, they are done with the Jordan brand and asking fans for a nationwide boycott of His Airness' gear as a sign of solidarity against the man who they feel, not only wronged the players, but hurt the fans as well by keeping the lockout alive.

"He wants us to go out there and represent his clothing line and make him some money and then, at the same time, he's whispering in David Stern's ear to try to keep US from getting paid? It's crazy, man." said Carmelo Anthony. Added D-Wade: "Would MJ the player still wear Nikes if Phil Knight was telling Commissioner Stern to keep the lockout going and take food out of his family's mouth? I bet not. His ass would probably retire again."

The most visibly upset of the departing stars was Paul, who not only blames Jordan for his role in maintaining the lockout but also in shutting down last week's potential three-team trade that would have sent CP3 to the Los Angeles Lakers. "It's hard for me, man." said Paul. "First he tried to kill the season. Now.....I mean, I might have been a Laker if not for him. Nothing against the Clippers. I'm happy to be here and L.A. is L.A., regardless, but what he did to us was not right." continued the former Hornet.

Paul, one of the classiest and most mild-mannered men in the league, couldn't control his anger from goating him into taking one last swipe at his former boss and mentor: "I guess a man who never made a good trade in his life wouldn't know one if it was staring him right in the face."

The story first came about during the photo shoot for SLAM Magazine's 2011 NBA preview. On the controversial cover, Paul is flanked by Anthony and Wade and seen ripping a Jordan poster in half. The interview with the three stars featured quotes taking shots similar to the previous quote from Paul, with the trio weighing in on everything from Jordan's alleged betrayal to MJ's lack of success running not one, but two NBA franchises into the ground while calling the shots in the front office. "He crushed the Wizards. He's crushing the Bobcats and now he's crushing his own brand by turning his back on the guys who helped build his label. Maybe he should have just stuck with playing basketball." Wade says in the interview.

When asked for his opinion on the matter following the boycott and the SLAM interview, Ray Allen offered some insight....and then took a jab of his own: "For us, it's like we were stabbed in the back by one of our own. Mike's been through all this before. If anyone should understand what we were going through being locked out, it should be him. I understand he has to look out for the owners because he is one, but rather than be the voice of reason for us, he was trying to shut us down." said the all-time three point leader "If he was betting on us still working with him after that, then maybe he's as bad a gambler as they say he is."

The stars didn't offer up what they plan to endorse now that they've left Jordan, but Wade said that he'd had talks with teammate LeBron James to start his own clothing line through his deal with Nike and build it with the guys leaving Jordan when their contracts are up and then joked: "But according to ya'll, 'Bron ain't enough of a leader to do all that."

Jordan couldn't be reached for comment when asked for his reaction to the boycott. A Jordan spokesperson also declined comment beyond a reminder that the players were under contract with Jordan and that they would handle the matter internally. Commissioner David Stern called it a "business matter" and "not something the NBA's concerned with". He also added "It took us five months to get the players on the court. What they wear once they get there is the least of our worries."

Gambling On A Savior

2011-12-15T00:34:00.007-05:00

The Los Angeles Lakers are finished.

Take a minute to analyze that sentence because, I assure you, we will be looking back at this day and those words and nodding collectively by season's end. Take a deep breath, Laker fans. Relax. Try to avoid the typical overreaction and hyperbole and use some common sense. Then, I want you to close your eyes and say these words aloud and I want them to seep into your brain because, as painful as it's going to be for you to utter them, you'll thank me for it later.

I want you to close your eyes and say: "It's over. We had our shot and we blew it."

There will be no sixth ring for Kobe Bean Bryant, at least not while he's adorning the purple and gold. Look, Laker fans can point fingers and jump up and down in outrage over getting jobbed out of the Chris Paul deal by the NBA. It was unfair and unjust but so was the Pau Gasol trade a few years ago. Karma's a bitch. Chris Paul should probably be a Laker right now, but he's not. It's the way the cookie crumbles. There are Knicks fans who think LeBron James should be playing home games in the Garden. There are Nets fans that are dead set that Dwight Howard is coming to Brooklyn. After awhile, you give up on your hopes and dreams, no matter how close you were and how vivid it seemed inside your head.

The end of the Lakers' run as THE TEAM in the National Basketball Association has everything to do with Paul and Howard.....and nothing at all. I'll address the latter point first. For one, the Lakers didn't HAVE to make a move this offseason, with the exception of maybe a slight upgrade at point guard. The notion that the Lakers had to blow up the team following Phil Jackson's retirement and a postseason sweep by the eventual champion Dallas Mavericks was more sports talk radio fodder than an actual mandatory game plan. Yes, if the Lakers could pull off deals that would allow them to bring in the likes of Paul and Howard and team them with "The Black Mamba", it would re-affirm L.A. as the team to beat as well as set them up nicely going forward long after Kobe retires. However, even the most delusional fan had to think that the Lakers weren't going to be able to pull that off and the wisest of fans should have been smart enough to realize why they didn't have to. A starting five of Andrew Bynum, Pau Gasol, Ron Artest(or Metta World Peace or whatever the fuck that nutjob is calling himself these days), Kobe and what's left of Derek Fisher, with Lamar Odom off the bench is formidable enough to make another run at the title, provided new coach Mike Brown can reel his heavy hitters in and keep them from coming apart like they did in the Dallas series.

Instead, they went with the nuclear bomb strategy and, in a stroke of pure genius, they managed to pull off a deal for Paul that didn't involve them giving up half the team and, at the last second, they got the rug pulled from under them. To use a football analogy, rather than kick the 55-yard field goal to tie, the Lakers chucked a Hail Mary in the air, came down with it with two feet in the end zone.....then had the referee rule it incomplete even after the booth review. It was a real tragedy what happened to the Los Angeles and, had it been someone less disliked than the Lakers, we might have made a bigger deal of it(which is saying something, because everyone who is everyone freaked out over this trade). Frustrated and outraged, the Lakers foolishly pulled out of the Paul talks and allowed their lowly little brother to swoop in and take their grand prize. That's where Paul and Howard add to the Lakers' demise. By swinging and missing on Paul, they publicly made it known that they were willing to be sellers if they found the right price(in this case, CP3 and D12). That shocker led them to be bullied by a guy in Odom, who spent the first two seasons of his reality show, getting bullied by his heavy-set, ugly-duckling, pseudo-famous wife. Outraged by being involved in trade talks, Odom wanted out and, rather than wait for a suitable deal, L.A. panicked and shipped Odom off for a bag of pennies. To make matters worse, they shipped him to Dallas.....the team that just got done cleaning their clock in the playoffs. You can't tell me there isn't a scenario where Odom couldn't have been flipped for something more than a dump of salary and some low-2nd round picks. You couldn't have gotten a suitable replacement at point guard for a versatile big man coming off his best season? Really?

In the span of seven days, the Lakers watched themselves get screwed out of a fair trade for the guy they've wanted for months, be forced to deal one of their best trade chips for nothing out of fear that Odom's unhappiness would leak to the public(which, it did anyway....Thanks, Twitter.), and then sit back and let the Clippers steal Paul from them and potentially resurrect their franchise.....IN THE LAKERS' HOUSE. The Clippers coming into the Staples Center to face the Lakers these next two seasons will be like the kid brother you used to beat the crap out of of when you were kids coming back home after a couple years in the military, except now he's cut like Vin Diesel and well-trained in MMA and you're 32 with a beer gut and tennis elbow.

The Lakers' last hope is trading for Howard, except Orlando has proclaimed any trade talks dead, which is yet another kick to the Lakers' balls. Make no mistake, the Lakers HAVE to find a way to get Dwight Howard, preferably before tip-off on Christmas. What was once a pipe dream now has to be a reality. Why? Because while the Lakers are a superb collection of talent, they are also a band of fragile minds. Don't agree? Think back to that Mavs series. Do you think the lasting images of Andrew Bynum's 2011 season would be him getting ushered off the court with his shirt off after clotheslining J.J. Barea if he were someone who was even the slightest bit composed? Would we not be thinking differently of Pau Gasol if he didn't let a bad breakup with his girlfriend completely take him out of the 2011 postseason? And do I even need to mention how Ron Artest is crazy? With the exception of Kobe, this batch of Lakers have the same frail, overwhelming lack of self-confidence and sensitive personalities you'd more commonly find on an after-school special on bulimic teenage girls. As if taking over for Phil Jackson wasn't tough enough for Mike Brown, now he has to go into this season stroking the egos of a young, talented center with no brain and a sack-less finesse power forward with no heart to make them feel better about being on the trading block. He's like Dorothy trying to lead a band of misfits to the Wizard of Oz.

That's why the Howard trade HAS to happen. You can't have this kind of dysfunction pollute your veteran squad under new leadership in a shortened season. Kobe is already pissed about how these last few changes went and he doesn't possess that same gene that MJ had that forced his teammates to put aside the bullshit and play hard. For the Lakers to remain relevant this season and beyond, they have to swing some deal that sends Gasol or Bynum and others(not both, because that would be an even more foolish display of desperation, not to mention frontcourt suicide) to Orlando in exchange for Doomsday. Dwight Howard holds the Lakers' season in his large hands, and he does so in a different uniform on a team that has no desire to trade him at the moment. That's why the Lakers are screwed. For so long, the thrill of playing in Hollywood and the shiny luster of the purple and gold had been enough to have faith in Showtime. Now, those days are dead. All that's left is false hope from a fan base that will just as easily trade their Kobe jerseys for Blake Griffin jerseys the minute CP3 launches an alley-oop to his slam dunk champion big man.

If the Lakers can't land Howard, they're slightly better than a lottery team because, not only will the trade talk destroy whatever chemistry they had, they also dealt away their best backup plan in Odom for when Bynum's knee snaps like a twig under a bear's paw. With good shooting at a premium, being able to rebound and protect the rim is paramount. It's why a team like the Mavs can beat a Heat team with three of the fifteen best players in the league and why a guy like Tyson Chandler can be paid like he's David Robinson by the Knicks. Patrolling the paint is something Bynum does well....when he's healthy, which is almost never, and when he can't control the paint when he's healthy, he resorts to choke-slamming 5'6 Puerto Ricans with the same force Rob Gronkowski uses to spike a football or Reggie Bush uses to penetrate Kim Kardashian's tush. That's why all the eggs need to be put in Howard's basket. An offseason spent being conned into thinking they need to make a big splash has culminated with their season hinging on them actually making one.

Open your eyes, Lakers fans, and remember this day because, come June, the next words you'll be reading will be: "I told you so."

More Week 14 Picks

2011-12-11T11:38:00.004-05:00

The Steelers offense sputtered Thursday night after Ben Roethlisberger's ankle bent like Beckham, allowing the Browns to cover and The BoomRoasted boys to start Week 14 0-for-1.

Like Big Ben in the 2nd half or in the bathroom stall with a teeny bopper, we won't be denied! On to the rest of Week 14!

Texans (+3) at Bengals

Dave: Bengals - The Texans are poised to be the first division winner that gets got in the playoffs this season, thanks to being chomped on repeatedly by the injury bug. The team that knocks them out in January may very well be these Bengals. Cincy has struggled a bit the last couple of weeks but I think having to face an Andre Johnson-less/T.J. Yates-led offense will get them back on track. Bengals by 10.

Gabe: Houston – The Texans have the league’s top defense and enough fire power on offense to overcome Cincy’s D. I think it will be close, but the Texans will get the straight up win.

Vikings (+11) at Lions

Dave: Lions - Can't like Detroit enough in this one. They need the W to stay afloat in the Wild Card race and Minnesota will be going on the road without AP and with Christian Ponder hobbled by a hip injury. The Vikings might be able to get some momentum early with the Lions still adjusting without Ndomukong Suh, but I think Matt Stafford goes for 400 here and we start to wave bye-bye to Leslie Frazier. Lions by 16.

Gabe: Detroit– Detroit is reeling but they need to win this game to keep any hope of making the playoffs. Minnesota will be minus Adrian Peterson. Lions by 14.

Saints (-3.5) at Titans

Dave: Saints - New Orleans has shook off some of the inconsistancy that plagued them for most of the year to emerge as the biggest threat to Green Bay's perfect season. Speaking of emergences, Chris Johnson is finally alive and breathing with a few CJ2K-ish weeks in a row. CJ getting back on his grind is too little, too late as the Titans' receiving corps are too banged up to make this offense balanced enough to keep the Saints on their toes. Drew Brees will go for another 3-hundy on a tough Titans D and New Orleans wins by 13.

Gabe: New Orleans – The Saints are the hottest team in the NFL not named the Green Bay Packers. They’ll have no trouble in Tennessee. Chris Johnson may have woken up, but there is nothing Drew Brees likes more than a shoot-out. Saints by 10.

Eagles (+3) at Dolphins

Dave: Eagles - WAIT A MINUTE! THAT'S MIKE VICK'S MUSIC!!!! The Dolphins rise from front-runner in the Andrew Luck sweepstakes to the league's toughest out not led by Tim Tebow has been a fun story for the last month. That story ends today. The Eagles may be a colossal disappointment and hopefully this season teaches teams lessons about building "dream teams" and allows Philly to finally can Andy Reid, but I think they have one last big performance in them before packing it in for the winter. I'm calling for an upset Vick-tory, with Mike going for 3 scores(1 running, two passing....one to Celek, the other to Jackson), while the Eagles' secondary cools off Matt Moore. Eagles by 10.

Gabe: Miami – Mike Vick is supposed to come back, but it doesn’t matter. Andy Reid has lost the team and they have packed it in for this year. Miami is on a roll and will win by a touchdown.

Chiefs (+10.5) at Jets

Dave: Chiefs - 10.5 points is a lot for an anemic offense going up against a defense that has played above and beyond to compensate for its own offensive woes. Teams have barely skated by Kansas City in recent weeks and that trend won't stop here with the shaky Jets. I think Tyler Palko stinks up the joint yet again, but the Jets struggle to get some traction and we're looking at a 13-6 W for Gang Green.

Gabe: New York – Kansas City is awful. The Jets will run all over them. Jets by 14.

Patriots (-9) at Redskins

Dave: Patriots - Next!

Gabe: Washington – I have no logical reason to think the Redskins have any chance to win this game, other than in my lifetime of rooting against the Skins, this is exactly the kind of game they like to fuck around and win. I don’t think they will win, but they will keep it close. Pats by a late field goal.

Colts (+16.5) at Ravens

Dave: Ravens - Next!

Gabe: Baltimore – Indy is done. They put up a fight last week because they hate the Pats. They don’t sniff the endzone and won’t come within 20 of the Ravens.

Falcons (-3) at Panthers

Dave: Falcons - Remember when experts thought going all in for Julio Jones was a good move because it would transform the Falcons into one of the best offenses in the league? How's that prediction working out for you, "experts"? The Falcons have their struggles on O and that might continue here with Mike Turner slowed by injury, but Atlanta can stop the one thing Carolina does well: run the ball. Cam Newton is going to have to make some plays with his arm and Dunta Robinson is going to be on Steve Smith like a glove. I see Carolina giving a valiant effort here but Atlanta eeks by. Falcons by 6.

Gabe: Carolina – Atlanta has been playing decently and they have won a few games recently, which means they are due for a letdown. Why not today on the road against Cam Cam and the Panthers? I’ll take Carolina for a straight up 4 point win.

Bucs (-3) at Jaguars

Dave: Bucs - Man, how bad are the Jags? Blaine Gabbert looks like he's not the answer at QB. MoJo D has fell off the face of the Earth. There isn't a receiver that makes you blink on the roster and the D is average at best. The Bucs should roll here in front of a half-packed house in what will probably feel more like a home game for Tampa than Jacksonville. Josh Freeman is back and I think he opens up a can on the Jags. Jaguars by 14.

Gabe: Tampa Bay - Speaking of teams that have packed it in for the year….Jacksonville. I don’t care how cool the new owners mustache is, the Jags have nothing to play for and Tampa Bay is still thinking playoffs. Bucs by 6.

Bears (+3) at Broncos

Dave: Broncos - I'm not betting against Tebow this close to Christmas when he's playing a team that's starting a bag of feces at QB and a power runner that was washed up two years ago at running back. Touchdown Jesus' Goldberg-like streak is going to continue as he and the Donkeys feast on another crappy team to keep their division hopes alive. Broncos by 6.

Gabe: Denver – Ugh, I hate having to pick Tim Tebow to win again. In this game you have two good defenses and two offenses that are going to struggle to move the ball. This is going to come down to someone making a late push on offense to win the game. Nuff said. Denver by 4.

Raiders (+11.5) at Packers

Dave: Packers - I wanted to go reverse jinx here, but Gabe's creeping up on my lead and I need all the easy W's I can get. The Carson Palmer trade was as much a disaster as expected, as he's now being charged with murdering the Raiders playoff hopes. If Charles Woodson is ready to go after getting knocked out with a concussion late against Gabe's Giants last week, Palmer's chances of keeping it close will be non-existant. The Packers roll here and the world gets introduced to Brandon Saine. Packers by 16.

Gabe: Green Bay – I’m not picking against them, not until they give me a reason to do so.

49ers (-3.5) at Cardinals

Dave: 49ers - Oh, this line should be much higher. I know San Fran isn't much on offense but you're talking about a team that's 10-2 with the best defense in the NFC going up against a team that's putrid on both sides of the ball. Two of Arizona's five wins have come because of Patrick Peterson punt returns. Another came last week when they stunned Dallas with a LeRod Stephens-Howling screen pass in OT. THIS is the team that's supposed to keep it close against the NFC's 2 seed? I think we see Alex Smith let out the big guns here(I know, I laughed a little when I wrote that, too) and San Francisco treats Arizona to a beatdown. Niners by 16.

Gabe: San Francisco – The 49ers may have already wrapped up the division, but they should be looking to try to lock up a playoff bye. The Cardinals suck too. Niners by 7.

Bills (+7) at Chargers

Dave: Bills - It's hard to see the Chargers giving a lot of effort knowing that, win or lose, Norv Turner is getting fired. Now, you might say they'll use that as motivation like Miami did with Tony Sparano but if the Bolts cared that much about playing hard for their beleaguered head coach, they wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. I'm not sure Buffalo has enough to pull off the upset, but could they keep it within a touchdown? I think so. Bolts by 4.

Gabe: San Diego – I never like cold weather teams having to play in the heat. Also, Buffalo has to travel across the country to play this game. Also, they’re the Bills. I have almost no faith in the Chargers either, but they should take care of business here. San Diego by 11.

Giants (+4.5) at Cowboys

Dave: Giants - There's only a couple things that can keep Old Man Gabe up after 8 on a Sunday: a primetime Chelsea soccer game, a Kings of Leon concert and watching his beloved Giants stink up the joint on national television. No matter who wins tonight, we all lose. If Dallas wins, it will be a week of listening to talking heads praise Tony Romo while NY radio massacres Eli Manning. If New York wins, we'll get nothing but "You can't spell elite without Eli" quips and "Should Dallas trade Tony Romo for Peyton Manning?" topics on ESPN. I'm going with New York because I can't stomach Cowboys fans in the playoffs. Look, Cowboys fans, your QB is a dud, your team is overrated and you'll never win another Super Bowl. So quit clogging up my news feed on Facebook with your statuses about how this is "your year"! Giants by 10.

Gabe: New York – This is simple. As my friend Henri, a lifelong Cowboys fan and smartest football fan I know, said….”The Giants are pissed. I’d hate to have a star on my helmet on Sunday.” Agreed. The Giants harass Romo and get a 7 point win.

Rams (+10) at Seahawks

Dave: Seahawks - The NFL tried to get this game moved to a local network instead of primetime on national television, but David Stern blocked the move because a bunch of bitter small-market owners complained about big-market teams getting an unfair edge in TV revenue. Truth be told, I'd rather fix myself a glass sandwich and wash it down with a cup of bleach than watch this damn football game. Jon Gruden and Mike Tirico are unbearable enough, but an NFL game where the best QB on the field is Tarvaris Jackson? Goodbye, MNF. Hello, Monday Night Raw.

Gabe: Seattle – St. Louis is terrible and Seattle is one of the toughest places in the NFL to play. Seattle wins by 13 in yet another Monday night game that I won’t be watching. I got made fun of this week for never having seen the movie Casino. Perhaps I’ll watch that instead.

Will Dan Gilbert Please Shut The Hell Up?

2011-12-10T11:19:00.010-05:00

After consulting with my spelling experts prior to typing this, it has been decided that it is, indeed, possible to spell "Dan Gilbert" without the word "bitter". However, why would you want to?

Over the last 72 hours, I thought the biggest mistake the NBA has made all year was putting the kibosh on a three-team deal that would have sent New Orleans Hornets point guard Chris Paul to the Lakers. The trade was surprisingly fair on all sides and the fact that commissioner David Stern risked further bad press by nixing it solely because a few sore losers didn't want to see the rich get richer is a clear sign that maybe someone else should be steering the ship. As big a goof as throwing ice water on this trade was for Stern, the biggest problem he has now and will continue to have is letting Dan Gilbert speak, whether in letter form or otherwise.

A little over a year after crying foul, in a letter, of course, over his franchise workhorse LeBron James publicly walking away from Gilbert's Cavs to join the Heat, Gilbert was at it again this week with his pen and paper. Gilbert called the NBA allowing Paul to join the Lakers "a travesty". Then, he went on to assume that the Paul trade would lead to a later trade for Magic center Dwight Howard and the two would join forces with Kobe Bryant to form the NBA's latest "superteam". Now, why would a man who saw the best player his franchise ever had skip town to join his two All-Star buddies in South Beach object to the idea of a "superteam"? Gilbert is the poster child for the divide between small-market owners and their big city comrades and his incompetence is more a sign of a dolt not getting with the times than a worried owner fearing for the future of the sport. Big stars want to play in big cities. That is a proven fact. 15 years ago, Shaquille O'Neal left a cushy job as the best center in the world in Orlando to be the biggest superstar in basketball in Hollywood. Last year, Carmelo Anthony saw his buddy LeBron lamp it up in Miami and wanted to do the same thing in NYC, so he bullied his way out of Denver. It takes a certian brand of player to want to just play basketball, regardless of the locale. Gilbert's comments, both last year and this week, are the reason Cleveland will never land a big free agent, but Gilbert will tell you that it's because big-market teams are clouding pending free agents' thoughts with the caviar wishes and champagne dreams that small-market teams can't provide, thus making it tough for them to compete.

Good ownership and a good fan base will get stars to stay. You don't see Kevin Durant wanting a trade to Chicago, do you? Rudy Gay had no problem staying in Memphis, right? Big city teams may have the upper hand in luring big names, but they aren't holding down the little guy. Gilbert had 6 years to give LeBron a reason to stay home and he failed. Then, rather than wish the man luck on his future endeavors, he kicked and screamed like a child and made the franchise look like a sore loser with a scathing letter that now just looks laughable. This latest letter is equally dumbfounding. For one, by forcing Paul to stay by stopping any deal that would send him elsewhere, you're forcing the Hornets to get nothing in return for a guy who, unlike LeBron, was gracious enough to give his team a head's up about his departure so they could prepare. You can't pretend to care about the Hornets' interests and then do whatever you can to screw them out of their best chance to get something of worth for their departing franchise player. The Hornets would have gotten back four starters for a guy who was leaving after the season. If anything, the post-Paul Hornets looked more promising than this current version. That's more than you can say about Gilbert's Cavs post-LeBron and even the post-Melo Nuggets.

The Lakers acquiring Paul may be another example of stars aligning in big markets and I can understand how that's frustrating for a guy like Gilbert who is still hurting from losing LeBron, but you weren't going to stop CP3 from ending up in a big market. If you keep him in New Orleans, he's just going to sign with New York next season anyway. You're only delaying the inevitable. On top of that, it was a fair trade. Where was Gilbert's bitching and moaning over L.A. pilfering Pau Gasol from Memphis for a couple bags of rice and Pau's twin brother a few years ago? I didn't see Gilbert complaining when he was able to steal Antawn Jamison from Washington for a player they ended up getting back a month later. You can't cry foul when it suits you and, if someone is going to speak up for the little guy, it should be someone with some credibility and not someone who has spent the last 16 months making an ass of himself in public letters. The Chris Paul trade to the Lakers is going to go through, probably by the end of the weekend, and the Magic will probably trade Dwight Howard to the Nets or Lakers before the season tips off on Christmas. This is the new NBA. Stars want to play with stars and give themselves the best chance to win. That's a logic that was foreign to Gilbert when he had LeBron and is seemingly more lost on him now that King James is gone.

There are reasons for public outcries. This wasn't one of them. There's a time and a place to criticize your boss. During a week where Stern took shots left and right for caving to owners and killing the Paul trade and after months of bad PR from an NBA lockout was not the time to start writing your "Dear John..." notes. The NBA's best chance to save face is allow the trade that Hornets GM Dell Demps and his fellow GMs have worked so hard this week to put together to go through and then, much like he should have done last summer, put a muzzle on Gilbert. It was hard enough for Stern to have to watch his well-known adversary Mark Cuban hoist the trophy this past June, it will be even tougher if he has to spend this shortened NBA season wiping the tears of a man who is to franchise-building incompetence what Donald Sterling is to racism.

If last summer should have taught you anything, Mr. Gilbert, it's that you can't stop the inevitable. You want to stick it the Lakers and their big city brethren? Put the pen and paper down and compete instead of being a loudmouth weasel. This is the new NBA. Get with the times or get the hell over it.

Week 14 Picks

2011-12-08T09:42:00.005-05:00

Gabe notched his best week of the season, narrowing Dave's lead down to just four with only a few weeks to play and lifting him to just a game below .500 for the season.

Since you'll probably doing ANYTHING else than watching tonight's crap sandwich on Thursday Night Football, here's our take on the epic Browns-Steelers showdown.

LAST WEEK

Gabe: 13-3

Dave: 10-6

SEASON

Dave: 97-90-8

Gabe: 93-94-8

Browns (+14) at Steelers

Dave: Steelers - A layup if ever there was one. The Steelers are coming off dropping a near 40-burger on the much-tougher Bengals and now get a Browns team that have more trouble scoring than Harry Potter nerds. If Colt McCoy thinks the pressure applied by this Steelers defense is uncomfortable, wait til he spends the offseason with Landry Jones' breath on his neck. Steelers by 20.

Gabe: Steelers - Dave said it....the Browns have no offense, the Steelers have a good defense. I think the Browns with struggle mightily to get in the endzone. The Steelers will move the ball and might get a score on defense. Steelers by 17.

Two Peabrains In A Pod

2011-12-05T14:40:00.009-05:00

You have to give credit where credit is due. If ESPN succeeds at doing one thing well, it's their ability to throw shit against the wall and cause a frenzy.

Today, less than an hour after I spent my morning writing that the Bears should fill their newfound void at QB with one Donovan McNabb, The Worldwide Leader dug back into their crates and polished off their favorite headline grabber:

Brett Favre.

Word out of the Favre residence, where ESPN keeps their reporters entrenched on a 24/7 basis so they can never get the taste of Favre's now-famous pecker out of their mouths, is that Favre would listen if Chicago's suits trying to sell him on making one last comeback.

Why, you ask? Well, why do you think? As the schedule reads, Favre's former mates in Green Bay will be potentially bringing a 14-0 record when the Packers and Bears meet on Christmas night in front of a national audience on NBC. If Favre were to sign this week, two weeks would probably be just enough time for him to learn Mike Martz's intricate offense and make one last decrepit trot out of the tunnel at Lambeau in hopes of thwarting the Packers' perfect season. With his protege already erasing some of his legacy by matching his ring total last year, Favre knows that Rodgers making history by being the first team to go undefeated and win it all since the '72 Dolphins(as well as become the first team ever to repeat and go undefeated) would all but make Favre an afterthought in Titletown. If there's one thing the 42-year old gunslinger still holds on to dearly, it's his own inflated sense of self-worth.

The Favre-ESPN marriage is the perfect blend of two entities that are more big name than actual substance. After being exposed in a tell-all book about the comings and goings during the network's history in James Miller's "Those Guys Have All The Fun", ESPN's new calling card to draw audiences is to try to grab viewers with half-stories and hypotheticals instead of actual journalism. The days of relying on the talents of legendary scribes like Peter Gammons and Len Pasquarelli are gone and have since been replaced with slideshows comparing Tim Tebow to John Elway and LeBron James to Michael Jordan. News stories are now born from tweets on Twitter and Facebook polls instead of actual interviewing and enhanced thought. It's the sign of the new age: a sophisticated network keeping it simple for simpletons while the hardcore sports fan looks elsewhere for real sports news. It's no wonder ESPN's early morning radio shows find themselves trailing behind the exceptional work of former anchor Dan Patrick. Fans are tired of listening to talking heads tell stories from atop the fence. Outside of Colin Cowherd, very few of ESPN's voices take sides....and when they do, they get silenced as in the case of Tony Kornheiser. However, ESPN is smart enough to know that they can grab attention, positive or negative, simply by inserting "The Riverboat Gambler" into any hypothetical opening. When Peyton Manning went down following neck surgery, ESPN worked steadfast to at least attempt to throw Favre's name in the ring as Manning's replacement. In a lot of ways, ESPN has done more for Favre's career these last few years than Bus Cook has.

As for Favre, his current role is not different from any jilted lover who has to sit back and watch his old flame have success without him. He's bitter, jealous, powerless and, most importantly, delusional. In Favre's pea brain, he believes that his presence on a floundering Bears team now missing its best weapon in Matt Forte will be enough to put the brakes on a seemingly unstoppable Packers train. His hell-bent desire to stick it to the franchise he once made great was evident in his desire to come to Minnesota three years ago and only his ego(and, of course, some prodding from his buddies in Bristol) coerced him into coming back after a remarkable first season with the Vikings that ended in typical Favre playoff fashion. Now, Favre is allegedly at it again. The fact that ESPN is even asking Favre if he's interested in coming back with a month left in the season shows their dependency on him to draw headlines. After all, Daunte Culpepper can't buy a job in the NFL. Donovan McNabb, who is FROM Chicago and has been more recently seen throwing a football than Favre has, would love some mainstream backing that would lead to him starting for a contender. Jeff George, who is every bit as surly, egotistical and prickish as Favre has been over the years, has been dying for the kind of support Favre has gotten this past half-decade. All of those, the case can be made, would be better options than Favre. Unless, of course, that case is being made by ESPN.

On a network that isn't supposed to seem biased, ESPN makes its undying boner for Favre look pretty damn evident. After all, who else is clamoring for another Favre comeback? Check Facebook. Check Twitter. Check message boards and blogs. There isn't an overwhelming amount of desire from fans, especially in Chicago, for Ol' Number Four to make one more run. If anything, it's more a movement towards the contrary. Maybe that's the point though. As the cliche goes, there's no such thing as bad publicity and, while ESPN continues to dig itself into a credibility hole by going to the Favre well with the same addictive nature that a crackhead seeks out cocaine, at least it can smile at the numbers from all the people they've managed to bamboozle into listening to another Favre comeback story.

The Favre-ESPN merger is a marriage of two similar criminals that deserve each other. A network less concerned with journalistic credibility and actual stories and more concerned with clicks and ratings numbers joining forces with a man less concerned with his own popularity and more with his own tattered legacy.

Brett Favre and ESPN: Dumb and Dumber.

The Most Disrespected Man In Football

2011-12-05T12:27:00.009-05:00

If there's one thing I'm rooting for this NFL season, besides my Packers becoming the first undefeated Super Bowl champion since the '72 Dolphins, it's that Donovan McNabb gets one last chance to re-write the final chapter to his NFL story by signing with a QB-needy playoff contender(say, Houston or Chicago, preferably the Bears since McNabb's from Chicago) and makes a run at the Super Bowl.

Look, I know that the McNabb of old is dead and gone, but it has to be tough to know that teams like the Texans and Bears would rather hitch their title chances to guys like T.J. Yates and Caleb Hanie than six-time Pro Bowler who lead his team to five conference championships and a Super Bowl in the not-so-distant past. In a career that started with him getting booed by morons on Draft Day then embroiled in controversy after controversy from Rush Limbaugh to T.O. to the arrival of Kevin Kolb, McNabb deserves one last chance to prove us all wrong. When we all read Brett Favre his last rights in 2008 after he blew out his arm with the Jets and "retired", Favre managed to come back and give it one last go before falling short in another example of Favre being Favre in the playoffs. Of course, Favre gave it yet another go the year after and that was tragic, but that's besides the point.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Well, Donovan McNabb isn't Brett Favre". Well, no.....or is he? Both men had their eras of prominence: Favre in the mid-90's, McNabb in the early-2000's. Both men were booted from their longtime franchises in spectacular fashion: Favre in a trade in New York after Green Bay smartly opted for Aaron Rodgers, McNabb to Washington after the Eagles foolishly opted for Kolb. Both men have cannon arms that tend to misfire. Most importantly, both men felt they had something left to give when the world thought they didn't.

Here's another QB McNabb might find himself comparable to. A man who finds ways to win, despite all the criticism and naysayers that try to hold him down. A man who, early in his career, makes plays with his feet and runs with power. A man who also has a strong yet inaccurate arm. A man by the name of Tim Tebow. Of course, McNabb, even now at 35, is a better pure passer than Tebow and McNabb flourished in a more wide-open passing offense while Tebow wins games utilizing the second coming of the option, but the similarities are there. Like McNabb, winning isn't enough to sooth Tebow's many critics. Like McNabb, Tebow takes the high road while said critics takes pot shot after pot shot. Also, like McNabb, Tebow is going to the playoffs in his second season. Which brings me to my point....

If Tim Tebow, a guy who, in a passing league, set his season-high with 202 yards yesterday, can lead his team to the playoffs, why can't a semi-washed up McNabb do the same? Now, McNabb's latest critics will point to the last few seasons in Philly, Washington and Minnesota as signs of decline. Look, there's no question this isn't the old McNabb, it's just an old McNabb, but are you really going to tell me this version of McNabb isn't an upgrade over guys like Hanie and Yates?

First, let's look at the aftermath of Donovan's last three situations, post-McNabb. The Eagles are 4-8 in a season where many believed they were a lock for the Super Bowl. Last season, the man that was supposed to replace McNabb, Kevin Kolb, got knocked out in Week 1 and was eventually replaced by Mike Vick. Vick did his own re-writing of his final chapter by orchestrating one of the greatest career comebacks in recent memory.........which ended with him floundering down the stretch and losing in the first round, at home, to the eventual Super Bowl champion Packers. This year, after scoring a major payday, Vick is back to being Vick: injured, inaccurate and losing more than he's winning.

In Washington, McNabb was 5-8 as a starter before being benched for Rex Grossman. How's Rex Grossman working out for you now, Skins fans? How about John Beck? This season, Washington, in their first year post-McNabb, is...wait for it...wait for it....4-8.

Then, there's Minnesota, who saw their season go up in flames early when they started off 0-4 while division rivals Detroit and Green Bay started off 4-0. By Week 7, McNabb was benched for good and rookie Christian Ponder took over. McNabb was 1-5 as a starter for the Vikes. As for Ponder? 1-5 as well. So, my question is, is McNabb really washed up or was he just in some bad situations? None of McNabb's three previous teams prospered after he left, so was their downfall really HIS fault? Maybe McNabb isn't as finished as we initially thought. Maybe he's just too worn down to be able to carry a team on his back like he did early in his career with Philly. Still, it amazes me that nobody took a chance on McNabb while he was on waivers. He's 35. Guys who are more washed up than McNabb are getting chances with contenders(I'm looking at you, Jake Delhomme!).

That's why my one wish this Christmas is for McNabb to go back home and land with his hometown Chicago Bears. The Bears are 7-5 and are in the midst of a three-team dogfight with Atlanta and Detroit for one of the two Wild Card spots in the NFC. Current starter Caleb Hanie, who is filling in for Jay Cutler? He's not the one, Bears fans. The Bears final four games, meanwhile: @Denver against Touchdown Jesus(possible win), home vs. Seattle(win), @Green Bay(loss) and then the finale @Minnesota against the man who replaced him for what could be a shot at the playoffs.

Detroit's schedule is a little easier: Minnesota(win), @Oakland(win), San Diego(W), @Green Bay(loss)....which means Chicago's main competitor for the final Wild Card spot would be the Falcons. Their final four games: @Carolina(win), Jacksonville(win), @New Orleans(loss), Tampa Bay(possible loss, since the Bucs won the first one).

For 12 years, Donovan McNabb took the high road while fans booed, critics took shots and teammates blasted him. Three teams showed him the door, even while not having a suitable replacement. Thirty-two teams passed on him when they could have picked him up for nothing. Now, those teams are being asked the make the same mistake twice. This season could use another comeback story. We owe it to Donovan McNabb to let him give it one last go. Like we did with Favre. Like we did with Vick. Like we did with Plaxico Burress. Like we were going to do with Tiki Barber.....ok, maybe that's stretching it....Tiki Barber is a prick. Nobody's rooting for him to come back.

McNabb. Bears. For the chance to redeem a career filled with disrespect in the city where it all started. I dare you to tell me these next four games will be more interesting with Caleb Hanie or Josh McCown, Bears fans.

Week 13 Picks continued

2011-12-04T07:55:00.006-05:00

Both of us nailed Seattle's "upset" of the floundering Eagles.

On to the rest of Week 13....

Green Bay (-6.5) at N.Y Giants

Dave: Giants - The Packers have had 10 days to prep for these Giants, while Big Blue is having to face the defending champs on short rest after getting curb-stomped by N'awlins on Monday night. So why pick the Giants? Well, for one, the reverse jinx is in full effect as I really can't stomach my Packers losing to Gabe's Giants and have to deal with a month's worth of snide texts from Jon Secada Jr. Second, the Packers' offensive line isn't the greatest and, while N.Y's pass rush didn't show up last week, it isn't completely dead. On top of that, the Packers have to lose eventually and, knowing my luck, it will be in a game against the Giants they should have romped much like back in 2007.

Gabe: New York - There is no reason to think the Giants are going to win this game. Their pass defense is struggling mightily. Their pass rush, supposedly the best in the league, has been non-existent for the last four games. Aaron Rodgers and the Packers offense are firing on all cylinders and any normal person would think they are going run all over the Giants. The thing is, I'm not a normal person, I'm a Giants fan. The Giants season is on the brink. In order to have any hope of making the post-season I have to believe that they can win today. There is precedent for this though. In 1998 13-0 Broncos team, on a 18 game winning streak, lost to a 5-8 Giants team. So, I'll say the Giants pass rush finally gets it going and the offense goes toe to toe with the Packers. Giants by a late touchdown.

Jets (-2.5) at Redskins

Dave: Jets - Every time I make a snarky comment suggesting that the Redskins will be getting blown out, they actually make a game of it and make me look foolish. That being said, find me one reason why the Jets won't annihilate the Redskins today? Seriously. Just one. Do you like Rex Grossman and his inaccurate arm against Revis Island? How about DeAngelo Hall's chances against Santonio Holmes and Plaxico Burress? Maybe you think Roy Helu will find room to run against this stout Jets run D? Or perhaps you're just completely delusional. Regardless, Jets are going to romp here. Gang Green by 17.

Gabe: Jets

Dallas (-4.5) at Arizona

Dave: Cowboys - You know you made a bad decision at QB when the guy you traded a 2nd round pick and a Pro Bowl corner then paid $60 million to is suddenly at risk of getting Wally Pip'd by a nobody from Fordham named John Skelton. Kevin Kolb is supposed to make his return from a bum foot this week and it will be just in time for him to get pulverized by DeMarcus Ware in another Dallas win that will give delusional Cowboys fans hope for their foolish Super Bowl dreams. Cowboys by 13.

Gabe: Dallas - Dallas is clicking. Dallas is finally playing the way they are capable of playing. And Arizona sucks. Dallas by at least 10.

St. Louis (+14) at San Francisco

Dave: Niners - Nelly battling E-40 would be a more compelling contest of St. Louis vs. The Bay than this week's Rams-Niners clash. The Niners play staunch defense, especially against the run, which is the only thing The Lou's anemic offense can muster up. Two touchdowns is a big spread for a team that isn't exactly the second coming of the Run N' Shoot on offense but I think they win a boring 17-0 shutout at home against a Rams team desperate for Alshon Jeffery in April. (E-40 voice: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh!)

Gabe: San Francisco - No one at the beginning of the season would have thought that this would be the line on this game. Ummm, I'll take San Francisco to win and cover because they play mean defense and are at home.

Denver (pk) at Minnsesota

Dave: Broncos - No AP, No Mike Jenkins(You know your offense sucks when "no Mike Jenkins" is an actual detriment to your team) and, of course, the Broncos are trotting out God's Son, Tim Tebow. I'm about 80% sure Tim Tebow would be victorious in a contest against just about anything. If you see him in the woods wrestling a bear, you better step in and help the bear. I see another ugly W here for the Donkeys. Broncos by 9.

Gabe: Denver - I hate Tim Tebow but all he does watch his defense set him up to win games. The Vikings stink. I'd love to see Touchdown Jesus finally lose, but I don't think it's going to happen.

Indianapolis (+20.5) at New England

Dave: Patriots - Can't you see Peyton Manning ripping off his neck brace and rushing himself back with a broken neck like Cap Rooney in "Any Given Sunday" just so he can prevent what will inevitably be a classic "We hate the Colts, so we're going to go for it on 4th-and-7 from our own 35 while we're up 42" drubbing by the hands of Belichick and the Pats? Three touchdowns is a bit much but the Colts will be trotting out Dan Orlovsky(he being the QB for the Lions team that went 0-16 a few years ago. Poor guy.), which means an already bad offense just got worse. Pats by 31.

Gabe: New England - I'd like to say that 21 points is too many, but this has 34-7 written all over it.

Atlanta (-1.5) at Houston

Dave: Falcons - T.J. Yates is the first QB in Tarheel history to start an NFL game. There has to be a reason behind that. The loss of Brent Grimes is going to hurt Atlanta if Yates can manage to find Andre Johnson and Michael Turner being banged up and possibly out is another red flag, but desperation is on the Dirty Birds' side in their quest to keep up with the Saints, so I think they come out firing against an equally battered Texans team.

Gabe: Houston - Some of the talking haircuts say this Yates kid in Houston is for real. To be fair, if all one has to do facilitate getting the ball to Arian Foster and Andre Johnson, Dave or I could do an adequate job. Houston has the top defense in the league and some playmakers on offense. Houston by a touchdown.

Baltimore (-7) at Cleveland

Dave: Ravens - The Cleveland Indians have a better chance of putting up points against this Ravens defense than this current Browns brood. I smell a romp here with Ray Rice going for a buck fifty and two scores while Jersey Joe Flacco looks unimpressive in yet another game he should be lighting it up in. Ravens by 17.

Gabe: Baltimore - The Ravens defense is going beat up on Cleveland. Ravens by 10.

Cincinnati (+7) at Pittsburgh

Dave: Bengals - Last week, the Steelers had every reason to blow out the Chiefs after four Tyler Palko picks but couldn't do it. Was it the Chiefs defense? Maybe. More likely, it was Big Ben's cracked thumb. The offense is going to continue to sputter if Ben's digits are hindering him from putting up numbers(see what I did there?). Plus, the Bengals' tough run D is going to slow down an already slow Steeler run game. Do I think Cincy pulls off the upset? No. It's tough to beat the Steelers at Heinz Field. Could it be close? Absolutely. Steelers by 4.

Gabe: Pittsburgh - This is a show me game for Andy Dalton and the other youngsters on Cincinnati's offense. They need to beat Pittsburgh to keep pace in the division. I don't see it happening, not against Pittsburgh at home. Steelers by 9.

Oakland (+3) at Miami

Dave: Oakland - Honestly, I only picked Oakland to be different from Gabe. This one's a toss-up for me. Oakland's better in pretty much every area, except maybe in the secondary and the offensive line. They need this one more since, unlike Miami, they actually have something to still play for so I'll take the points and Oakland to stop the surging Phins. Meanwhile, when's the last time anyone's asked about Darren McFadden? Seriously. Is he still breathing?

Gabe: Miami - All of a sudden Miami thinks they can play some football. Now that they have taken themselves out of the Andrew Luck sweepstakes, they have nothing to lose for. Also, Oakland has to travel across the country to play this game. Miami by 7.

Kansas City (+7) at Chicago

Dave: Bears - Dwayne Bowe short-arming that deep throw from Tyler Palko on the final drive of last week's game against Pittsburgh because he was scared to get clobbered by three Steelers might be the most pansy-assed move I've seen since Guerillmo Mota ran from Mike Piazza. As for this week, KC's only hope is Kyle Orton somehow miraculously learns the offense as quickly as Johnny 5 can read a book in "Short Circuit 2" and reverts back to 2010 Kyle Orton and smashes his former mates in relief of Palko. Other than that, the Chiefs are getting scalped. Bears by 10.

Gabe: Chicago - Caleb Hanie, Tyler Palko, Kyle Orton....who ordered the crap quarterback soup? I'll say the Bears' running game and special teams will make the difference. Bears by 9.

Panthers (+2) at Bucs

Dave: Panthers - No Josh Freeman for Tampa Bay, which may or may not be a good thing for the Bucs. Cam Newton, meanwhile, needs another performance like his Week 1 explosion to keep himself in the running for ROTY. I think Carolina steals this one. Panthers by 6.

Gabe: Panthers

Tennessee (+1.5) at Buffalo

Dave: Titans - Glad to see CJ2K still has a pulse. Nice of you to finally join us in the 2011 football season, C.J. As for Stevie Johnson, how awesome was that TD dance mocking Plaxico? The PC police can cry all they want about it being classless and mean-spirited, so what? For two years while the man was locked up, everyone made Plaxico jokes about him shooting himself in the leg. Everyone. Now, he's out of prison, we're supposed to act like it didn't happen? Please. For Stevie's next trick, he should pretend to get arrested and point to Kenny Britt, then tear his Achilles running from police. Since I don't see that happening, I'll take Titans by 3.

Gabe: Buffalo - Provided Stevie Johnson doesn't do anything stupid. Bills by 3.

Detroit (+8.5) at New Orleans

Dave: Saints - The wheels are starting to come off this Lions bandwagon. Jahvid Best is done for the year. Matt Stafford isn't putting up Madden numbers anymore because teams are quadruple-covering Megatron and, now, with the Suh World Order out for two games, this defense loses a lot of its intimidation factor. The Saints are firing on all cylinders, making my pick to have them win the NFC look even more impressive(pats self on back). If this thing becomes a shootout, it might the most entertaining game we've seen on national TV since Week 1's Saints-Packers clash, ut I think N.O. exploits the loss of Suh and beats Detroit with a balanced attack. Saints by 13.

Gabe: New Orleans - After a bye week and dismantling my Giants last week, the Saints look like they are getting ready to go on a nice run. Detroit is in a free fall. They also won't have the boy named Suh. New Orleans by 14.

San Diego (-3) at Jacksonville

Dave: Chargers - In last week's Monday Night Raw, CM Punk defended his WWE title by unleashing his "Go To Sleep" move on former champ Alberto Del Rio, dropping Del Rio's grill on the steel turnbuckle. Also, last week, we saw the return of Rowdy Roddy Piper's "Piper's Pit" with steroid-addled pop sensation John Cena. What does that have to do with this game? Absolutely nothing, except that I'll be tuning in to see what Punk has in store this week, much to the dismay of my Puerto Rican tag team partner, rather than watch this piece of shit game on Monday Night Football. Chargers by 10.

Gabe: San Diego - Yeah, I'll be do anything other than watching this game Monday night. Jacksonville just sent Jack Del Rio packing. I don't see how that could make the team play better. If San Diego doesn't win this game expect them to give Norv the ax. San Diego simply has too much talent. Chargers by 10.

Week 13 Picks

2011-12-01T17:39:00.004-05:00

Gabe got off to a good start last week thanks to Dave going 0-for on Thanksgiving. Despite a rousing bounceback from Jersey's Finest, Gabe was still able to chip away at his deficit for the season, dropping it to a mere seven games with five weeks to play.

This week, the NFL was nice enough to bestow upon us an almost unwatchable clash between the hugely disappointing Philadelphia Eagles and the equally uninspiring Seattle Seahawks.

Here's our take:

LAST WEEK

Gabe: 7-9

Dave: 6-10

SEASON

Dave: 87-84-8

Gabe: 80-91-8

Eagles (-3) at Seahawks

Dave: Seahawks - The history of teams having to travel cross-country and play an away game on a short week and come out victorious isn't very favorable. It's especially unfavorable to an Eagles team that is coming off getting shalacked by the New England Patriots and will go into Qwest Field(one of the hardest places to play in the NFL) sans Mike Vick and Jeremy Maclin. The Seahawks are a bit of a mess, too, having lost one they should have had against putrid Washington. Still, the Seahawks can run the ball well with Marshawn Lynch and, while they can't quite put the kind of pressure on Vince Young to force him to make mistakes, I think the Eagles are underwhelming enough to lose this game and finally put the nail in their once-promising playoff hopes. Seahawks by 2.

Gabe: Seahawks - This game is against my two least favorite teams in the NFL, so I couldn't give a fuck. I think the combination of travel and having to play on a short week is going to really hurt the Eagles. Also, as Dave said, Seattle's stadium is one of the toughest places for away teams in the NFL. As Dave also said, the one thing the Seahawks do well, run the ball, matches well with the Eagles' defenses' biggest weakness. Seahawks by a touchdown.

Fake NBA Headline of The Week: Doug Christie Gets Mollywhopped By Wife

2011-12-01T11:16:00.005-05:00

(Note: Even though the NBA lockout is over, we feel it is our duty, especially after the critical acclaim from last week's "Fake NBA Headline of the Week", to keep this thing going until the boys return to the hardwood this Christmas. Who knows? Maybe we'll keep it going after that. Once again, these are not REAL headlines.)

For 15 seasons in the NBA, Doug Christie locked down some of the best offensive attacks the game of basketball has seen.

However, it was the offensive onslaught from his ill-tempered wife, Jackie, that the four-time All-NBA defensive teamer couldn't defend. Police were called to the Christie residence late last night to find the former Sacramento Kings guard unconscious on the floor in his spacious living following what can only be described as a hellacious beatdown from his controlling better half. Los Angeles PD detained Jackie Christie, Doug's wife and star of the hard-to-watch Basketball Wives: LA on VH1, after she admitted to assaulting her husband.

According to Mrs. Christie, she arrived at her home to find her husband watching materials she deemed unacceptable. Before any words can be exchanged, punches were thrown, most notably by Jackie, who claimed she landed two strong right crosses to the side of her husband's face after nailing him with her pocketbook. Clearly staggered, a weakened Doug tried to fight off his hard-charging wife by holding back her arms but Jackie was able to overpower him. After a struggle, Jackie slammed Doug to the floor, where he hit his head on the corner of an table, rendering him unconscious. Out cold, Doug still took a barrage of punches from Jackie until neighbors, who heard a lot of screaming and yelling, called 911 to rush authorities to the scene. Doug Christie was rushed to Cedars-Sinai for multiple contusions to the face and upper body.

Mrs. Christie played the incident off as a "misunderstanding" and that her "temper got the best of her" but assured the handful of fans that her recent run-in with the law would not interfere, unfortunately, with the filming of the new season of her reality show. Former NBA center John Salley, who now moonlights as the host of VH1's various reunion "specials", told the Associated Press "Anyone who's seen Jackie on her show knows she ain't afraid to throw hands..." said Spider, "Of course, I realize that's only a small group of people." he added.

Doug Christie was finally able to be reached for comment after he was assured his heavy-hitting wife was far from his hospital bed. He said that he didn't defend himself at first to prevent the story from turning into the "typical story about a basketball player beating his wife" but added "that was the worst ass-whooping of my life." When asked if this latest fiasco would lead to him finally leaving his hot-headed significant other, Christie meekly shook his head no, saying "I'd like to, but I'm too damn scared. Plus, no network is going to give a reality show to a guy who just got beat down by his wife."

Chuck Finley feels your pain, Doug.

Make It Happen, Captain!

2011-12-01T09:58:00.010-05:00

My allegiance to Hornets basketball spans nearly two decades across two cities from the days of Alonzo Mourning and Larry Johnson to the Baron Davis era to the current reign of Chris Paul. Begrudgingly, I watched star after star skip town either by trade or through free agency. I watched Grandmama light up the Garden for the Knicks, 'Zo become an interior force and later champion with Miami. I saw the team trade away a kid they drafted fresh out of high school in 1996 named Kobe Bryant to the Lakers, and then sat back and watched him develop into the closest thing to Michael Jordan since His Airness retired. There have been enough major exiles from the Hornets franchise to convince even loyal fans to leave the team as well. However, it seemed as one star departed, another came in. LJ and 'Zo were replaced by guys like Glen Rice and Anthony Mason. Kobe was swapped for Vlade Divac. Baron Davis was eventually replaced by CP3. There was always just enough to keep their head above water. The trademark upheaval of talent in N.O. is expected to go full swing in the next eight months, with All-Star forward David West expected to his free agency next week and CP3 entering the open market next summer. Both are 50-50 shots at best to return to the purple and teal. Chris Paul had emerged as my favorite Hornet since the 'Zo days and he will be the guy I will most hate to see go, mainly because we never got to see what Kobe would have become had he stayed with the Hornets.

With that being said, when word broke out this week of a rumored trade that would send Paul to Boston in exchange for Rajon Rondo, I was surprisingly all for it. It's not because I'm a fan of Rondo, because I do believe the kid is a poor man's Jason Kidd: a triple-double candidate with a terrible jumper who dominates with athleticism moreso than pure talent. My co-signing of the CP3-to-Boston trade is two-fold: For one, it allows the Hornets to get something of value for a guy who almost certainly won't be back after this season. Think about it. Why would Paul stay after this season, especially if West signs elsewhere in the next few days? Outside of West, Paul's next best teammates are a slightly-less-crazy version of Ron Artest(Trevor Ariza) and a man who will end his career as either a poor man's Dikembe Mutombo or Theo Ratliff(Emeka Okafor). There's no way he competes for a title in the West against the Lakers and Mavs and Spurs and Thunder with this supporting cast. In Boston, he'd join a talented-albeit-aging roster that features three potential Hall of Famers.

Secondly and perhaps most selfishly, it allows me to finally put the nail in the coffin of my long tenure as a fan of the Hornets. I know diehard fans are supposed to stick through thick and thin, but I defy any fan of any team to try and match the number of big names that have walked out of that door for seemingly bags of beans. This is the same franchise that dumped an All-Star like Baron Davis for a couple expiring contracts in Dale Davis and Speedy Claxton. At some point, you have to say enough's enough. The departure of Paul is the last straw. As we've seen with LeBron and 'Melo and others, loyalty to the franchise is way at the bottom of priorities for big free agents coming from small-market teams. Chris Paul will be 27 in May and his ailing knees are probably going to take a couple years off his career. He wants to win now and it's going to be hard for him to turn down the thought of playing in L.A. or N.Y. instead of sticking with a team that doesn't even have a real owner yet. If Rondo-for-Paul is really on the table, then it's a deal both teams should jump on, even with CP3 saying he won't sign an extension if dealt to the Celtics.

Why trade Rondo for a Chris Paul rental if you're Boston? There's a couple reasons. First, Paul's reluctance to play in Boston might be swayed when he actually suits up and realizes he doesn't have to put more weight on those aching knees by carrying the team every night. On top of that, he's instantly going from a middle-tier team, at best, in the West to one of the best in the East. The presence of Paul would make the Celtics the favorites in the East, even over the defending Eastern champion Heat, mainly because Miami and other contenders won't be able to sag off of Paul's jumper the way they did with Rondo. Boston will have guys like Paul Pierce and KG putting the pressure on Paul to stay and it will be hard to tell them no if Paul helps them deliver their 18th championship banner. Even if Paul does leave Boston at the end of the year, you've saved money by getting out of the Rondo contract and can now take a stab at another star. The opportunity to upgrade at point guard by bringing in arguably the best player at that position as well as the potential that he might re-sign(remember, in 2007, there were many who believed Garnett would never go to Boston because he'd never sign an extension there) far outweighs the risk of trading a franchise cornerstone for a five-month rental.

For New Orleans, the presence of Rondo softens the blow of the loss of Paul. While it would be in the team's interest to try their best to re-sign Paul, that ship may have sailed and Paul's cranky knees might make him a wild card to sign long-term if they continue to get worse. In Rondo, they get a downgrade but only a slight one and they'll have a star that's locked up long-term that they can build around. It's the move that makes the most sense. You don't want to end up like Cleveland and Toronto and be left with nothing because you put all your eggs in the basket of hoping your franchise guy is going to stay put when he hits the open market. Last year, the 'Melo drama may have hurt the Nuggets but they made the right move in dealing Anthony and fleecing the Knicks in a trade that set Denver up beautifully going forward. The same needs to happen here in New Orleans, as well as in Orlando, who are dealing with a similar situation with Dwight Howard and have a rumored deal on the table with the Nets that would send promising young center Brook Lopez and picks to the Magic for Doomsday.

The new CBA may have been hammered out with the hopes that it would help smaller market teams level the playing field with their bigger market counterparts, but there's one thing a collective bargaining agreement can't do: instill loyalty into a star who's eyes widen with the hopes of bigger and better things. What owners didn't understand when they went to the mattresses for months with the players union is that big stars want to play big games in big markets. LeBron wanted to bring his talents to South Beach. 'Melo wanted to drain threes in front of sold-out, roaring crowds in the Big Apple. A guy as likable and gregarious as Dwight Howard is going to pine for the bright lights of Hollywood. A driven star like Chris Paul is going to want to chase rings in a title-heavy town like Boston. Nobody wants to light it up in front of a half-packed house in the boonies. It's a disadvantage to fans like myself who hate to watch stars kick rocks year after year but it's something that could be made less painful when you strike while the iron is hot.

Week 12 Picks

2011-11-27T10:16:00.004-05:00

Thanksgiving football didn't go as planned for Team Dave as he wound up getting stuffed like a Kardashian sister in the locker room at Gund Arena after a shootaround to the tune of a big 0-3 squadoosh. Baby Felix Trinidad, meanwhile, starts off today's events up two, thanks to the Packers throttling of the Lions and Baltimore outpointing San Fran on Thursday.

On to the rest of this week's games

THIS WEEK

Gabe: 2-1

Dave: 0-3

SEASON

Dave: 81-74-8

Gabe: 73-82-8

Vikings (+9.5) at Falcons

Dave: Falcons - Truth be told, Minnesota's chances of beating Atlanta in the Georgia Dome were bleak even before Adrian Peterson was ruled out. Now, with AP sidelined, the Vikings' running game is in the hands of Brian Leonard's less effective twin, Toby Gerhart. I'd be surprised if Christian Ponder and company manage to muster any points and the Viking defense has been picked apart so many times recently that anything less than a 21-point W by the Dirty Birds would surprise me. Falcons by 24.

Gabe: Falcons

Browns (+7) at Bengals

Dave: Bengals - Despite being up against one of the best defenses in the NFL without his top wideout, Andy Dalton still saw fit to drop 373 yards on the Ravens last week in a close 31-24 loss to Baltimore. What does that have to do with their game against Cleveland this week? Well, Cleveland's horrible and Dalton gets A.J. Green back so, by the laws of math, Dalton should be expected to do significantly better this week. While it might be statistically impossible for "The Red Rifle" to top his near-400 yard performance, I'm sure Dalton and the gang will accept a W over the floundering Dawg Pound as a modest improvement. Bengals by 10.

Gabe: Bengals

Bucs (+3) at Titans

Dave: Titans - I've lost hope in the 2011 Bucs. Josh Freeman throws too many picks, LaGarrette Blount is too hit-or-miss, their young receivers have hit a sophomore slump and the defense has gone down the tubes. Matt Hasselbeck might be a bit banged up for Tennessee but I think either he or Jake Locker is capable of putting up numbers against this Bucs D. I wish I could say the same thing with confidence about the possibly-abducted Chris Johnson. Titans by 9.

Gabe: Bucs

Panthers (-3) at Colts

Dave: Panthers - Cam Newton needs a big game here to stay in the Rookie of the Year hunt and I think he'll do so against a horrid Colts team. On a different note though, if Indy played LSU on a neutral field right now, how bad would the Tigers beat the Colts? I say it would be at least 31-0. Panthers by 13.

Gabe: Panthers

Cardinals (+2.5) at Rams

Dave: Rams - Honestly, I just flipped a coin here. Picking between Arizona and St. Louis and is like asking "Who's hotter: Oprah Winfrey or Rosie O'Donnell?". Nobody wins and nobody cares.

Gabe: Rams

Bills (+9) at Jets

Dave: Jets - The last time these two teams met, Gang Green thumped Buffalo and sent them cascading into a tailspin that dropped them from sneaky Wild Card contender to probably picking top 10 in the Draft again. So, if the Jets can open a can on the Bills in Buffalo a month ago, what would make anyone think things will be different in the Meadowlands now that Buffalo has given up on life and Ryan Fitzpatrick threw out his arm counting all that money from his new deal? Jets by 10.

Gabe: Bills

Texans (-6) at Jaguars

Dave: Texans - How psyched are you for the epic showdown between Blaine Gabbert and Matt Leinart? The next month or so is make-or-break time for Leinart. If he can prove to be somewhat competent over the next 6 or 7 games as the starter for a legit contender, he could stand to make some money this offseason as a free agent QB with some starter experience and his career ahead of him. The question with Leinart has always been desire. Does he want to be Aaron Rodgers or Brody Jenner? Is he reading defenses or reading Cosmo? Lucky for Matt, he gets the lowly Jags as well as possibly the return of all-world wideout Andre Johnson. Even if Leinart flops, Arian Foster won't. Texans by 17.

Gabe: Texans

Bears (+3) at Raiders

Dave: Raiders - Oh, if you loved Leinart vs. Gabbert, you'll jump for joy over Carson Palmer vs. Caleb Hanie! Hanie emerged as an intriguing prospect after nearly leading the Bears to a comeback win in the NFC Championship against Green Bay when Jay Cutler allegedly went down with a knee injury. Now, Cutler is actually out with a busted thumb and Hanie gets his moment in the sun. My issue isn't so much Hanie as it is the offensive line's ability to protect Hanie. It took Chicago a year and a half to figure out how to keep Cutler upright and he gets the ball out way quicker than Hanie does. On the flip side, Palmer is getting more and more adjusted with his new sqaud, as we saw last week against Minnesota. The Bears D will keep this from being a rout and Matt Forte will keep Oakland's D honest but it comes down to who do you have faith in making a play when it matters, Hanie or Palmer? And my money's on Carson. Raiders by 6.

Gabe: Bears

Redskins (+3) at Seahawks

Dave: Seahawks - It pains me that I will have spent three paragraphs on games featuring Gabbert vs Leinart, Hanie vs. Palmer and now Rex Grossman/John Beck vs. Tarvaris Jackson/Charlie Whitehurst. I've seen better matchups on the undercards of Celebrity Boxing. The Redskins' best strategy is to ride out this season with their two-headed crap sandwich at QB and hope the teams ahead of them in the Draft play better so Washington can move up and grab a Matt Barkley or a Robert Griffin III....or a more likely scenario: make a play for Peyton Manning. Seattle's tough to beat at home, even tougher to beat when you're the Redskins. Seahawks by 9.

Gabe: Seahawks

Patriots (-3) at Eagles

Dave: Eagles - Oh, imagine if Mike Vick has to miss more time and it's Vince Young, not Vick, who turns the Eagles season around and gets them into the playoffs. We might see Mike Vick get Mike Vick'd by Vince Young(though in this scenario, Mike Vick would be Kevin Kolb and Vince Young would be Mike Vick.....I just confused myself.). I'm not sure why I picked the Eagles except that I typed "Eagles" when I meant to write "Patriots" and figured I'd stick with it on account that it might my subconscious telling me something. Philly does have the defense to give Tom Brady and company fits and the Eagles' running is superior to New England's. If Vince Young can lead the charge and beat the Giants, it's not unrealistic to think he can top the Pats too....which would make for an awesome story these next few weeks.

Gabe: Patriots

Broncos (+5.5) at Chargers

Dave: Broncos - I've been saying "A loss here should end the Norv Turner era" for weeks now, and it's beginning to sound redundant. That being said, a loss here should end the Norv Turner era in San Diego. Really, what more do you need to make a case to clean house here? The Chargers are struggling yet again to win a division they should be mopping the floor with year-after-year. This week, they get Touchdown Jesus and the Broncos. Look, I don't know whether Tim Tebow is a viable starting QB. I just know that he knows how to win and, really, that's all that matters. Phillip Rivers has all the yards and the touchdowns and he'll have plenty of third-place finishes to go with them. Timmy has a chance to part the AFC West seas and get Denver a playoff spot and the perennially-cursed Bolts aren't going to stand in the way of Tebow and his divine powers. Broncos by 3.

Gabe: Chargers

Steelers (-10.5) at Chiefs

Dave: Steelers - I talked myself into my wife's Chiefs for about 2.5 seconds because they can get to the QB and, at home and feeling desperate, they might force Big Ben to make some crucial mistakes and pull off the upset with defense and special teams. Then, I realized one fundamental problem with that theory: The Chiefs' starting QB is Tyler Palko. Even if KC's D is lights out against the Steelers, the offense is going to have to make enough plays to keep Pittsburgh at arm's length. I just don't see that happening. If there's one saving grace for Chiefs fans though, next year you'll have Jamaal Charles and Eric Berry back as well as possibly Matt Barkley if Kyle Orton doesn't screw around and get you a few garbage time W's. Steelers by 21.

Gabe: Steelers

Giants (+7.5) at Saints

Dave: Giants - Emotions will be running high for Big Blue coming off the tragic death of RB Brandon Jacobs this past Sunday......(waits.....checks newspaper......feels sheepish)....wait, Jacobs isn't dead? Then, who was the cadaver in the "Jacobs #27" jersey last week against Philly? The Giants' sudden lack of a running game not withstanding, I think these two teams are close enough that neither team will win by more than a touchdown. Could I see Drew Brees, with a little more than a week to prepare, lighting up this porous Giants secondary? Sure, but that would require some excellent protection from this N.O. offensive line against the best pass rush in football. I think this one's a shootout with both teams lacking a running game and, with the Giants needing this one bad, I see Gabe's boys pulling off the upset.

Gabe: Giants

Thanksgiving Picks

2011-11-23T13:03:00.003-05:00

Week 11 was a nice bounceback week for Team Dave, as he increased his season lead to 10 after besting Team Gabe by two. Both men take 2-0 Thursday night records into this week's tripleheader so here's the website you should be most thankful for's take on Thanksgiving meat and potatoes.

LAST WEEK

Dave: 10-4
Gabe: 8-6

SEASON

Dave: 81-71-8
Gabe: 71-81-8

Packers (-6.5) at Lions

Dave: Lions - This is the game that Detroit has had circled all season. This is their Super Bowl and, after having to pull out the big guns to overwhelm Carolina, the momentum is on their side after Green Bay struggled to pull away from Tampa Bay. James Starks, the Pack's best runner, will probably sit this one, which means the Packers will need Ryan Grant to find his 2009 version for the run game to be less than stagnant. My money is still on Green Bay to steal this one and remain perfect but I think it comes down to the wire with Matt Stafford throwing a pick on the final drive to Tramon Williams. Pack by 6.

Gabe: Packers - Dave is right, this is the game the Lions have had circled on their calendar. This game is also the one that all of the talking haircuts have made their sexy pick for a Packers' loss. I don't see it happening. The Packers are firing on all cylinders. The Lions have a mean pass rush, but Aaron Rodgers isn't intimidated by that. He has all of the good things you want in a quarterback and none of the bad stuff, like the questionable decision making of Tony Romo, or the rapiness of Big Ben. The Lions are young and are just dumb enough to think they can win this game, but it ain't happening. The Packers show the upstarts that they been here befo', and win by 10.

Dolphins (+7) at Cowboys

Dave: Cowboys - As much a tradition as pumpkin pie and turkey is Dallas' brand of football on Thanksgiving day. This year, we get to calm down from the thrills of watching two real QB's in the early game in Matt Stafford and Aaron Rodgers by being subjected to two lames named Tony Romo and Matt Moore. Both teams are riding three-game win streaks. The key matchup here will be OLB DeMarcus Ware vs. OT Jake Long. If Ware can't continue to wreak havoc on backfields by blowing by the game's best offensive tackle, then this could be a tighter game than we expect. Miami's secondary is actually better than you think, too, so Romo's a threat for 3-INT game here. I think Dallas relies on DeMarco Murray and bores the crowd to 10-point win over a suddenly-motivated Phins squad.

Gabe: Cowboys - Now that they Dolphins have played their way right out of the Andrew Luck sweepstakes they seem to want to win games. Not today. On their best day, I'm not sure Dallas isn't the third or fourth best team in the league. The problem is, getting Dallas to play their best is about as difficult as getting Dave to buy a Young Money mixtape. Despite that, I think Dallas will play well against Miami. Despite the wins, the Phins still aren't good. Dallas has all of the weapons and I say they take an 11 point win.

Niners (+3) at Ravens

Dave: Niners - A win coupled with a Packers loss keeps San Fran's chances of snatching homefield advantage in the NFC away from Green Bay's clutches. The Niners haven't allowed a rushing TD all season and running the ball seems to be the only thing Baltimore does well consistantly. Ray Lewis might miss this game as well, further hindering one of the game's best defenses. I smell a defensive struggle here that comes down to the final drive but Jersey Joe Flacco doesn't come up big like he did against Pittsburgh. Niners by 3.

Gabe: Ravens - The Ravens play their best football when they are up against tough opponents. Right now the toughest opponents in the NFL not named the Green Bay Packers are the San Francisco 49ers. The Ravens will be motivated and looking to get on a winning streak. Also, let's not forget one of my favorite themes, the Niners have to travel across the country and play this game on really short rest. This will be a hard hitting smash-mouth game, but I think the Ravens pull it out, by 4.

Fake NBA Headline of The Week: LBJ to Fans "Stop Calling Me Pippen"

2011-11-23T12:18:00.006-05:00

(Note: With the 2011 NBA season in jeopardy, we here at BoomRoastedSports thought we'd fill the void by coming up with our own pro basketball stories until the players and owners can come up with some of their own that doesn't involve millionaires and billionaires fighting over money. These are fake stories based off nothing but our own creativity, so please don't try to take it and run with it when we post "Chris Paul Traded To Bobcats" in two months.)

LeBron James came into the NBA in 2003 with the expectations that he will, not might, be the next Michael Jordan. However, the man known as "King James" isn't bothered by his inability thus far to live up to the lofty goals of replacing His Airness. Instead, the 26-year old former MVP has other reasons to be frustrated.

"Every time I touch the ball, all I hear is 'Scot-tie Pip-pen!' from the crowd. It's getting a little annoying." James said after his Miami Heat lost 121-111 to the Atlanta Hawks Tuesday night. The close loss to the Hawks last night still gives M-I-A the 2nd best record in the East at 7-3 behind the surprising 8-3 Bucks and fourth best in the league behind the 11-2 Warriors and the 10-2 defending champion Dallas Mavericks. "I mean, Scottie Pippen was named one of the 50 Greatest Players in NBA history and it's an honor for my name to be paired with his but I'd like to think the home fans would be better than that."

Yes, that's right. Fans IN MIAMI have been not-so-subtly alluding to James being a second fiddle on a Heat team that came thisclose to an NBA championship. Part of the reaction may be due to the fact that James' teammate, Dwayne Wade, is the early season front-runner for the MVP with an awesome 33 points, 6 rebounds and 6 assists per game stat line through 10 games for the 1st place Heat. After all, this IS Miami-Wade County, a fact not lost on LBJ: "D-Wade has made it known for years that this is HIS house. I get that, but I've always considered me and Dwayne equals. These people pay their money to see us play. They can do what they want, but I find some of the chants disturbing."

Being compared to "Flash" was something "The Akron Hammer" had to anticipate when he agreed to come to South Beach along with Chris Bosh last summer. However, James said there was a couple of examples of fan displeasure that went too far. "I saw a lady in the front row with a huge sign that said 'Delonte's better!' in big bold letters with a smiley face and a greater than sign above my name and, at first, I chuckled. Then, I looked closer and realized it was my mom."

The chants haven't been lost on James' high-priced teammates either. "It's unfortunate," said Wade, "You know, he could have just as easily went to New York last summer and lit up the Garden every night. He chose to come here and be a part of something that could be a big part of NBA history. Regardless of how I'm playing, LeBron's my boy and I wouldn't wish that kind of treatment on my worst enemy, let alone my teammate." Chris Bosh was a bit more coy: "I mean, at least the fans are recognizing him, good or bad. They care enough to scream at him. I get mistaken for Lamar Odom at least three times a week."

Perhaps, the All-Star forward will get a bit more recognition when the Heat take on Bosh's former team, the Toronto Raptors, on Friday night. As for James and the Pippen comparisons, Charles Barkley had a different take on things: "LeBron's no Scottie Pippen! Scottie got six rings! LeBron's got none! The fans need to be chanting 'Karl Malone' at his ass!"

Or perhaps "Charles Barkley".