Sum of All Fears

The sports world was swept away by the media overreaction that has become so typical these days after the Los Angeles Lakers were swept away by the Dallas Mavericks a week ago. Magic Johnson brainless opined that the team needed to be blown up, despite the fact that this very same Lakers team was the favorite to make it back to the Finals and maybe even complete the three-peat. Bloggers and fans pondered a future that saw big names like Orlando center Dwight Howard or New Orleans point man Chris Paul rocking the purple and gold. The premature exile of the defending champs has caused weeks of contrived city-wide panic over a team that hosts one of the three best players in the game and the best guard since Michael Jordan(Kobe Bryant, as if you didn't know already), the game's best power forward(Pau Gasol), one of the game's most highly-regarded perimeter defenders(the always nutty Ron Artest), the reigning Sixth Man of the Year(Lamar Odom-Kardashian), and a guy believed by some(not me) to be one of the game's best big men(Andrew Bynum).

The doom and gloom may be overly manufactured to fill airtime on SportsCenter and sports radio slots or get clicks on blogs or, for something a bit more archaic, sell newspapers but that doesn't mean there isn't cause for concern for the Lake Show. Here are some real reasons fans and "experts" should be pessimistic about Kobe and Co.'s reign on the top.

1. The Doctor Won't Be Seeing You Now: For years, I've downplayed Phil Jackson's achievements as a guy who just happened to be at the right place at the right time as the coach of historically-great teams with once-in-a-generation players(MJ and Scottie in Chicago, Kobe and Shaq in L.A.). After all, Erik Spolestra is eight wins away from bringing a title to South Beach on the strength of a roster that features two of the game's greats(D-Wade and LBJ), a vastly-overpaid-but-still-very good third man(Chris "Avatar" Bosh) and a supporting cast of guys who were great in NBA Live '98(Juwon Howard, Mike Bibby, Erick Dampier, etc.). Still, there's no denying the impact that will be felt by Jackson's inevitable retirement if it does indeed happen at the end of the season.

Here are a couple of the names being tossed around as Dr. Phil's successor: Mike Dunleavy, Rick Adelman, Kurt Rambis. Ummmm.....yikes. Personally, I'd like to see former Laker-turned-longtime assistant Brian Shaw get the nod. Yes, he'll be a little overmatched trying to rein in all these big egos but so will any of these other "veteran" coaches. Shaw knows this Lakers bunch and he's played with a few of them. Plus, as evidenced by three of the final four teams being led by coaches who aren't exactly seasoned vets(Tom Thibedeau in Chicago, Spolestra in Miami, Scotty Brooks in OKC), you don't have to recycle the same names around the coaching circuit to be successful. Regardless, this team will be different without Phil and it will be hard for the fans of Showtime to get up for this Lakers team the way they did when The Zen Master was running things.

2. Point of No Return: Much to the surprise of noone, teams finally took advantage of L.A.'s smoke-and-mirrors show at point guard with the tag team of Steve Blake and the rotting cadaver known as Derek Fisher. The problem is, both men are under contract for the next couple of years and there seems to be no sign of an influx of new talent unless the Lakers can swing a Pau Gasol-like heist of Chris Paul from New Orleans to the tune of something like CP3 and Emeka Okafor for Andrew Bynum(although, as a Hornets fan who watched the team once give up Baron Davis for the shit sandwich of Speedy Claxton and Dale Davis, that isn't beyond the realm of possibility given N.O.'s financial woes). The Lakers also don't possess a first round pick in next month's draft to lock down a young pup for Fisher to mentor. Sure, they can probably buy a late-first from Chicago and snag a Nolan Smith from Duke or Butler's Shelvin Mack but neither of those guys seem like anything more than C.J. Watson-esque backup types.

As for the free agent market? Try to talk yourself into signing someone like Sebastian Telfair or T.J. Ford. How about a Sasha Vujacic reunion in L.A., Laker fans? Does Marcus Banks or Chris Quinn or Acie Law not have you salivating? The prospects for L.A. at the point aren't very promising unless they can swing a deal for a CP3 or Deron Williams or Steve Nash that will also net them something in return that makes up for the loss of Bynum(which N.O. or NJ or Phoenix or whoever would ultimately want in return for their point guards). Still, in a league that has seen a plethora of talented young point guards enter the league(Derrick Rose, Russell Westbrook, John Wall) over the last couple of years to go along with the Chris Pauls, Tony Parkers and Rajon Rondos of the world, the Lakers must work steadfast in nabbing someone with a bit less decay at the 1 than what they currently have.

3. How Do You Like Your Kobe Steak? Well Done.: Depending on which side of the fence you sit on, you'll either find the eventual talk about how much Kobe Bryant to be premature or understated. I'm part of the latter group. Look, I'm not saying we've seen the last of "The Black Mamba" as an elite player, but at some point there has to be some legit concern over the tread on those tires. Kobe has played 1,311 games as an NBA pro, including the playoffs. He'll turn 33 in November of this year when he starts his 15th NBA season after entering the league out of high school in, in my opinion, the greatest draft in NBA history in 1996.

On top of that, who exactly is taking the pressure off Kobe next season so he doesn't have to carry this team to another title next year? Pau Gasol let a broken heart kill all of his momentum in the postseason. The same will probably eventually happen to fellow sucker-for-love Lamar Odom. We're still waiting for something to breakout with Andrew Bynum that isn't a bone in his knee. Ron Artest? He's another hurled beer cup away from hosting pick-up games at the Rucker. Perhaps the ugly secret of Kobe being past his prime is why there is so much talk about L.A. going all-in on a trade for Chris Paul or Dwight Howard. Much like the New York Yankees, the Lakers have always had a new youngster for the old regime to pass the torch to from Wilt-to-Kareem-to-Magic-to-Shaq-to-Kobe. Somebody has to be on the other end when Kobe eventually passes the baton. Now, Kobe's thirst to conquer the legend of Micheal Jordan means we're probably looking at another five or six more painful years of Kobe trying to get some lift out of those achy knees while he tries to one-up MJ. It will be sad and painful to watch, much like Jordan's campaign with the Wizards but, if L.A. can't lock down an heir apparent, the post-Kobe era will be even harder to stomach.

4. A League of Extraordinarily Young Gentlemen: As teams like the Lakers and Spurs(and eventually the Mavericks) have or will learn, those up-and-coming young teams that are brimming with potential and aiming for the #1 spot are now taking less and less time to grab their time in the spotlight. We've seen it now with Oklahoma City, who are four wins away from their first Finals run since the team left Seattle. Memphis will only get better if they re-sign Marc Gasol and Shane Battier and get a healthy Rudy Gay back. The Clippers might eventually emerge from years of being dragged down by their own misfortune with another young piece to go with that Blake Griffin-Eric Gordon-Eric Bledsoe nucleus. The Timberwolves could be in the mix with some proper management. The same for the Warriors and that Steph Curry-Monta Ellis backcourt. Plus, the Nuggets aren't going to go away even without Carmelo. After years of dominance, the Lakers are becoming what the Spurs already are: an old team trying to get by on reliving the glory days. The gap between the elite and the next-big-things went from the size of The Golden Gate Bridge to the size of a city block. Teams are past keeping up with the Jones. Now, they are gunning for the Busses.

A Lesson Before Crying

Lakers coach Phil Jackson, as he tends to do whenever there's a mic in front of him and a topic where he can unleash one of his witty quips, weighed in a couple days ago on the story that been more blown out of proportion than Christina Aguilera's waistline: The Miami Heat allegedly crying after blowing yet another lead in their loss to the Bulls.

Gabe weighed in on this earlier in the week and I realize I'm late to the dance on this one and that's mainly because this story is a non-issue. First of all, like Gabe said in his piece, what possible benefit does Heat coach Eric Spoelstra think he's getting by telling the media his boys are in the locker room crying like a bunch of ninnies? This guy is already on his last legs in Miami(regardless of what Pat Riley says, Coach Spo has looked overmatched in dealing with the big names on his roster. Those beady eyes bulge for a reason, Riles. The man's at his zenith), so what does throwing his team under the bus do for him or his squad? Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, I'll believe players on the Heat are crying when I see tears with my own two eyes. I don't know why Spolestra would lie about something like this but I also don't know why he would even bring it up in the first place.

I've SEEN Terrell Owens cry like a baby in defending Tony Romo after another big Cowboys playoff loss. I've SEEN Adam Morrison get watery-eyed after Gonzaga's loss in the NCAA Tournament. Hell, I've even SEEN The Zen Master's boy Kobe Bryant cry for his wife's forgiveness after he paid his way out of those rape charges(On top of that, Phil's golden boy Michael Jordan cried after winning the NBA Championship). Yes, all of those were after games of significantly more circumstance than a pithy regular season game in March, but the point is people cry.
We get too caught up in the archaic vision of how we want our athletes to be. We want them to be grizzled manly men who find crying beneath them and spend their days as warriors battling out on the gridiron or the baseball diamond or the hardwood. The irony of that is that we follow these guys on Twitter or watch their reality shows because we want to see if they are normal human beings just like us. It's ok if LeBron goes on to carry the Heat to the NBA Championship this year, but if he cries during Sex and the City, well, then, he's a pussy. Athletes are human beings with abnormal human talents. Chris Bosh is a basketball player. He's not King Leonidas. If athletes possessed the gene to be without emotion or unable to feel sadness, they'd be politicians.

Back to Jackson for a second, Dr. Phil made headlines by saying the NBA was "No Boys Allowed" and said "Big boys don't cry, but if you're going to do it, do it in the toilet where no one can see you." One, nobody actually saw the Heat cry beyond a coach who must have been outside of his mind diming out his boys to the media like that. Two, since when does a hippie who spends his free time in the offseason dressing like Morgan Freeman in "Bruce Almighty" and contorting his body into "Downward Facing Dog" get to make fun of others being soft? Since when has Phil Jackson been the authority on manliness? This is the same guy who tried to mediate the Shaq and Kobe beef by talking it out and then shit his pants when he couldn't get both sides to align peacefully. Look, I'm not taking anything away from Phil Jackson. He's a great coach and has done great things with some supersized egos, but perhaps he should pass occassionally on the chance to offer up a sound byte....especially after his Lakers have now been swept by those wimpy deers in Miami.

This is a new age of athlete. Gone are days of Dick Butkus and Charles Oakley where are athletes never let anyone see them as anything other than captain of industry alpha males. Athletes in 2011 cry, make witty comments on social media outlets, milk injuries like a dairy farmer, praise God excessively and generally act like....wait for it.....human beings. I'd rather my athletes cry after a loss than chuckle on the sidelines like Derek Anderson on Monday Night Football. Every man on the face of this planet has let a tear loose. That doesn't make you less of a man. If I walk by Mike Tyson sobbing in a pet store in SoHo, I'm not going to walk up to him and say "Stop being a bitch, Mike!".

Ever since "The Decision", the Miami Heat have become the most compelling story in the NBA since Michael Jordan retired. Every game has overly critiqued. Every dirty look overanalyzed. Every dribble and shot beaten into the ground. For a week, we have wasted our time and energy on a story about athletes crying without one single photo of one single tear. That, not some bullshit overblown headline, is what really should make us all weep.