Gone But Not Forgotten

Michael Wilbon asked on Twitter a few weeks ago what was the most overlooked sports story of this decade. In an era of round-the-clock sports news, a young generation of over-caffeinated bloggers and the emergence of social networking, nothing(sports or otherwise) ever really gets "overlooked". However, when dissecting this decade's biggest sports headlines, some things get, for lack of a better term, forgotten. When hot items are breaking instantaneously, it tends to make the previous significant headline seem like old news. Looking over the big topics of this decade, I found myself rehashing a story that, by no means was overlooked or undervalued, but perhaps trumped by similar stories that were a bit more fresh. Here's a look back at perhaps this decade's most underrated news story.

He was the poster child for the next generation's athlete. A superb combination of size, speed, instinct, heart and athletic ability. He scoured the field like a hawk, searching for the next opponent to pulverize. Then, as quickly as he would close on an opposing receiver, the world lost Sean Taylor at the age of 24 and, much like the aftermath from one of his trademark hits, all that was left were loud gasps and pain.

When Sean Taylor was murdered in November of 2007, it felt more like deja vu than a national sports tragedy. After all, we were just a few years removed from the slaying of fellow defensive back Darrent Williams outside of a Denver nightclub after a New Year's party. Taylor's death, especially in wake of the death of Williams, opened up a nationwide debate about the means athletes should take to protect themselves from a country of gun-toting loons. There was a feature in ESPN Magazine shortly after with interviews from players about the measures they have now feel the need to take in wake of Taylor's murder. As for on the field, the Redskins honored Taylor by having the defense line up a man short in the backfield(which the Bills exploited).

Certainly, in the D.C. area, nobody would say that Sean Taylor's death has been forgotten. FedEx Field is still packed with Redskins fans adorned in #21 jerseys or T-Shirts with Taylor's likeness on it, but the turn of events that followed Taylor's murder put what should have been this generation's Len Bias on the back burner. Within the first year after Taylor's death, the shooting of Jaguars' offensive lineman Richard Collier happened, then Plaxico Burress' Cheddar Bob impression happened, then Donte Stallworth's DUI manslaughter happened, then the murder of Steve McNair and, while not exactly a sports story, there was the passing of Michael Jackson. All of those events along with the never-ending saga of Michael Vick's dogfighting drama gave the world something to think about other than the loss of what could have been a Hall of Fame safety.

Two years later, Taylor's name hardly comes up amongst sports' greatest tragedies, mainly because society tends not dwell too long on a person's death(unless that person is Michael Jackson, of course.) and also because McNair and Collier and Burress had replaced Taylor as the poster children for gun violence and its effects on sports figures much like the shock of Taylor's death usurped Williams'. Perhaps never more so than this season has Taylor been so sorely missed by the Redskins ON the field, as his replacement (fellow first round pick LaRon Landry) has certainly kept the Taylor mantle of bone-jarring hits alive but has failed to be as big a factor in pass coverage as his predecessor.

In a sports decade that will inevitably be remembered for the prevalence of steroids in baseball, the unsavory trysts of Kobe Bryant/Ben Roethlisberger/Tiger Woods, the greatness of Tom Brady and Peyton Manning, the first Red Sox title in 86 years and the emergence of MMA, let us all take some time to remember a man who was meant to leave a large impact on the football field but left his greatest dent off of it.

Milk Carton All-Star of the Decade....2000-2009

Unless you live in a warped universe of which there is no calender or perception of time(Read: Las Vegas), you are well aware that we are just a few days away from the closing of the first decade of the new millennium(though, I guess if you want to be nitpicky, you can say that event won't be 'til this time next year, but whatever). Anyway, in honor of what I believe is the end of the Aughts, I'm delivering a week's worth of decade-oriented pieces for you. Today, we'll be unveiling the Milk Carton All-Star of the Decade. Later in the week, I'll give you who I think are the best and worst sports franchises of the decade as well as the decade's biggest story(in my opinion, at least) as well as the decade's most undervalued story.

So, leading off the week, I selected someone whose outlandish personality combined with his disparaging hype/worth ratio made him the clear-cut representative for athletic obscurity over the course of the last nine years. Here goes:

Before he was an ignorant, loud mouth, stone-handed, first round waste of space, Freddie Mitchell was first introduced to the world on a segment of the old "Tonight Show with Jay Leno" called "Jaywalking", in which Leno goes around town asking the public simple questions and then airing their retarded responses. It was only fitting that the self-proclaimed "FredEx" would then deliver the goods in his TV debut. When asked who the first U.S. President was, Mitchell(a history major) said Ben Franklin. Mitchell claimed he intentionally botched the answer to get himself on TV, which should tell you everything about how low the man will go for some face time.

That early dose of blatant stupidity didn't stop the Philadelphia Eagles from nabbing Mitchell with the 25th overall pick in the 2001 NFL Draft over guys like Reggie Wayne, Chad Johnson, Steve Smith, and T.J. Houshmanzadeh. Oops. Mitchell rewarded the Eagles' intuition by catching all of 90 passes for just under 1,300 yards and 5 touchdowns......in four seasons. Yes, folks, in Freddie Mitchell's entire career, he managed the same statistical output as one season of any of the aforementioned four receivers taken after him.

So what makes Mitchell stand out from other mediocre wideouts of his ilk. Well, to put it bluntly: His big fucking mouth. While the wide receiver position is known for its flamboyance and posturing, Mitchell took those diva qualities to the next level. For one, there was his slew of nicknames: The People's Champ(very original), The Sultan of Slot(catchy) First Down Freddie, Fourth Down Freddie, the aforementioned FredEx(because he always delivers, you know), Hollywood, Puppetmaster, and of course, 4th and 26 Freddie.

"4th and 26 Freddie" comes from one of the rare moments of relevance in Mitchell's career when, in a divisional playoff game against Green Bay, Eagles QB Donovan McNabb hit Mitchell for a 28-yard catch down the middle of the field on 4th and 26 to keep what would be the game-tying drive alive. It was obviously the most notable play of Mitchell's career, but he'd have you believe it was the second coming of the Immaculate Reception.

A year later, the Eagles would acquire another arrogant, self-absorbed wideout with a large yap: Terrell Owens. Unlike Mitchell, Owens produced in his first year in Philly, helping the Eagles make it to the Super Bowl. That, of course, didn't stop Mitchell from succumbing to his life-long addiction to microphones during Media Week leading up to the Super Bowl. During an interview with ESPN's Dan Patrick, Mitchell deliberately slighted the Patriots' Pro Bowl secondary, as he claimed to not know any of them by name but only by number. That forced a response from the usually sullen Bill Belichick, who proceeded to say of Mitchell: "All he does is talk. He's terrible, and you can print that."

Belichick's critique as well as Mitchell's ho-hum career numbers didn't stop Mitchell from declaring to the media during a press conference that he'd "like to thank his hands for being so great". The Eagles thought otherwise and, shortly after the Super Bowl, sent Mitchell packing. As did the Chiefs, shortly after Mitchell signed with them that same year.

With his pro career over, Mitchell allegedly served as a substitute teacher in Indiana in November of 2006, according to a report by sports gossip site Deadspin. In the summer of 2008, Mitchell opened up a BBQ restaurant in Florida called "Brothers", which was closed down less than a year later after both an investigation of a package containing seven pounds of weed found in Mitchell's restaurant and a suit alleging Mitchell failed to make payments on the business. Earlier this month, Mitchell was stopped for speeding and then later arrested for a failure to pay child support.

So let's give one last drop of attention for the man whose hands were so great, he could never catch a clue.......This decade's biggest douchebag: Freddie Mitchell, everybody!

Week 14 Picks, cont.

If you had taken Dave's picks to your bookie last week you wouldn't be eating this week. Dave went a miserable 5-11 against the number last week.

If you had taken Gabe's picks to your bookie then you would still be eating. Gabe went 8-8 so you would have only lost the vig.

On the bright side, we have both hit 100 in the win column this week.

So far this week we are both 0-1. (Thank you Big Ben. How do you get sacked by the Browns 8 times? The quarterback for Roast Beef St. wouldn't get sacked by the Browns 8 times.)

Last Week: Gabe: 8-8 Dave: 5-11

This Week so far: Both 0-1

Season totals: Gabe: 105-84-1 Dave: 100-89-1

On to the rest of Week 14!

Denver (+7) at Indianapolis

Gabe: Indianapolis - Peyton Manning might be the greatest football mind not named Bill Walsh we've had the pleasure watching. Denver, for some reason, seems to not want to use Brandon Marshall the way they could. I think Indy will keep winning until they lock up home-field advantage and they start to coast. Indy wins by 10.

Dave: Denver - Colts seem to play each week down to the wire and the Broncos are a tricky enough team to give them fits. I've been saying it for weeks and have been looking like an idiot, but Indy is bound for a let down eventually, so why not against a desperate Broncos team who has at least some life on D? Colts by 3.

Cincinnati (+6.5) at Minnesota

Gabe: Minnesota - This is a huge match-up. Cincy needs to win this game to prove they really are one of the best teams in the AFC. Minnesota needs to win to keep pace with New Orleans. I think the difference is going to be Minnesota's defense. They are going to make the Bengals more one-dimensional than they already are. The Bengals won't win if the Carson Palmer has to throw the ball 50 times. Minnesota by a touchdown.

Dave: Cincinnati: Same rules apply as last week for Minnesota when they played Arizona. Cincy is stout on run D, which means Brett Favre will have to win this one on his own and we know how Favre plays in December. Plus, Jonathan Joesph and Leon Hall(I feel like I'm gonna repeat myself alot this week) are the best cornerback tandem you've never heard of, which means we'll see another Favre 3-INT performance. Bengals not as explosive on offense as 'Zona but their grind-it-out style will limit possessions for Minnesota, making Favre's TOs more costly. Bengals by 6.
New York Jets (-3) at Tampa Bay

Gabe: New York - The Bucs are showing some signs of life and are starting to play well under QB Josh Freeman. But...the Jets defense will keep the youngsters in check. I wish I had the onions to take the push, but I think the Jets will win by 4.

Dave: Jets - Josh Freeman threw 5 picks(at least 3 of which in the red zone) against a Carolina team that quit a month ago. Now, he gets Darrelle Revis and a Jets team that's actually fighting for a playoff spot. The Sanchize is sitting this one out, which actually makes me like Gang Green more. Jets by 9.

Buffalo (pk) at Kansas City

Gabe: Kansas City - I'm taking KC simply because they are at home. KC is on the way up and no one knows what to expect out of Buffalo. Buffalo has no run defense and a very inconsistent running game. KC has a rise star in RB Jamaal Charles. KC by 3 because of home field.

Dave: Kansas City - I agree here with Gabe. Last week's egg-laying not included, the Chiefs are usually money at home in the winter months and Buffalo is inept enough to continue that trend. Chiefs by 6.....reluctantly.

Green Bay (-3) at Chicago

Gabe: Green Bay - The Packers are playing inspired football right now. Aaron Rodgers is probably the best quarterback in the league not named Brees, Brady, or P. Manning. Chicago has faded and faded fast. Jay Cutler is not as good as advertised. That being said, this is a division game so it is going to be hard fought. Packers by 7.

Dave: Green Bay - Playing it dangerous here. Packers are 4-0 in the last 4 games I've picked against them, so this will be a test to that trend here. Bears are on their last legs. Lovie Smith feels Mike Shanahan breathing on the back of his neck. Jay Cutler has become the most reverred man in Chi-Town since Al Capone. The defense is Charmin soft. On the flip side, the Packers look like a deep sleeper come playoff time, as they finally found out how to protect Aaron Rodgers AND muster a pass rush. So, hopefully, this isn't jinxing them, but Packers by 10.

New Orleans (-10) at Atlanta


Gabe: New Orleans - The Saints learned all the lessons of a loss and still got the W last week in Washington. The Falcons are hurt at all the key positions on offense. They have zero pass defense. One of their best D-lineman just got popped for pot possession. Drew Brees and the Saints win huge and roll themselves (and further my fantasy team, The Michael Scott Paper Co.) into the playoffs.

Dave: New Orleans - Too many big names missing for Atlanta and the Saints need to rebound from last week's lackluster(yet winning) performance. Saints by 14.

Detroit (+13.5) at Baltimore

Gabe: Detroit - The Lions have great players on offense. The Baltimore defense is getting old and slower, but they can still light it up when they need to. I think the Baltimore D steps up and keeps Megatron and Kevin Smif in check. I think Baltimore wins, but by less than 14.

Dave: Baltimore - Is it weird that I can see Detroit covering if they WEREN'T starting Daunte Culpepper? Culpepper's happy feet will kill the Lions against a Baltimore defense that isn't as good as it used to be(especially with Ed Reed and Terrell Suggs out again) but are still potent. I think Culpepper blows this one and goes back into retirement and Baltimore's offense led by Ray Rice(FROM! RUTGERS!) goes nuts on the Lions' swiss cheese D. Baltimore by 17.

Miami (+2.5) at Jacksonville

Gabe: Miami - Miami is playing great football right now. They still have a good chance to make the playoffs, if they win out. Truthfully, I don't know why Miami is the underdog in this game. I think they run away with this win. Miami by 10.

Dave: Jacksonville - Because I'm down big to Gabe and, in 14 weeks, I still haven't figured these two teams out.

Carolina (+13) at New England

Gabe: Carolina - There is something wrong with Tom Brady. He is playing scared. He looks very jumpy in the pocket. It came out late this week that he is hurt. He is the key to the Pats winning. I think New England still wins, but only by a touchdown.

Dave: Patriots - There IS something off about Tom Brady, that much is true. In fact, the whole Patriots organazation hasn't been right since Belichick's brainless call on 4th and 2 against Indy almost a month ago. However, the Pats know what's at stake here. Miami and New York both have winnable games, so New England knows it has to unleash hell here. Carolina has been the No Show Team of the Year and the Pats are pissed, so I like them to cover. Pats by 16.

Seattle (+6.5) at Houston

Gabe: Houston - Seattle stinks and has probably packed it in for this year. Houston is still really dangerous on offense. I think Houston wins big.

Dave: Seattle - Two months ago, Gabe and I circled this game as the chance for us to go head-to-head on Sportstalkbuzz. Now? Gabe's stopped writing for about a month and I might have subconciously quit as well. Regardless, I have a hard time getting behind Houston and, after they upset SF and made me look stupid last week, I have a harder time betting against Seattle. A touchdown difference is a bit steep but I'll take it. 'Hawks by 7.

St. Louis (+13) at Tennessee

Gabe: Tennessee - Three words: Chris "Mufuckin'" Johnson. Done and done. Tennessee wins by 17.

Dave: Tennessee - You don't think the Rams are going to blow their chance at the man who SHOULD have won the Heisman, Ndomakong Suh, by putting up a fight against the Titans here, do you? Titans pull off the shutout, win by 28.

Washington (-1) at Oakland

Gabe: Oakland - This is exactly the kind of game Washington always loses. They played really well against the Saints last week and are feeling great about themselves, so now they'll travel and lose to one of the worst teams in the league. To be fair, Oakland seems to be putting things together and playing pretty well. I think the Raiders win by a touchdown.

Dave: Oakland - Last week's win against Pittsburgh would have looked more impressive if Big Ben and company didn't fall off their motorcycle again against Cleveland a couple days ago. That being said, nobody wins in this game. If there ever was a good chance at picking a tie, this is it. I think Oakland puts Nnamdi Asomugha against the Redskins' new weapon, Devin Thomas, and shut down the 'Skins at home. Raiders by 3.

San Diego (+3) at Dallas

Gabe: San Diego - Dallas falls apart in December and everyone knows it, but here's a stat for you...San Diego hasn't lost a game in December in over three seasons. Plus, San Diego is playing out of their minds right now and is the last team you want to see in the playoffs in the AFC. Chargers win by 10.

Dave: Chargers - It's not just that it's December, it's that the Chargers, to me, are the best team in AFC and their passing attack is going to be too much for a battered Cowboys' secondary. It also helps that SD flew in some fermeldahyde to preserve the rotting corpse of LT for at least a few more weeks. Chargers by 13.

Philadelphia (+1) at New York Giants

Gabe: Philadelphia - I actually grimaced when typing this pick. I would love to take my Giants in this spot, but it ain't happening. The Giants got lucky on big plays last week. Philadelphia is a better team. It will be hard fought, I hope, but in the end Philly wins by a touchdown.

Dave: Giants - Again, I'm down big and if I have to pick one of these teams to shit the bed, I'll go with Philly who is beat up on O. Giants by 6.

Arizona (-3.5) at San Francisco

Gabe: Arizona - Arizona is to the NFC what San Diego is the AFC...they are the talented team that no one wants to see late in the year or in the playoffs. I think they build on last week and win by 7.

Dave: Arizona - San Fran shot down all its momentum by choking against Seattle. Arizona sees the chance to close out the division here on Monday night and, after upsetting Benedict Favre and the Vikes, momentum has swung to their side. Cards by 10.

A Few Words About the Heisman

I know it's not news, but the Heisman Trophy, otherwise known as the biggest joke in college football not called the BCS, is going to handed out tomorrow. If you are reading this then you are probably already aware of this and you know the names of the finalists.

But just in case you don't, here you are:

Mark Ingram, Running Back, Alabama
Toby Gerhart, Running Back, Stanford
Tim Tebow, Quarterback, Florida
Colt McCoy, Quarterback, Texas
Ndamukong Suh, Defensive Tackle, Nebraska

That's right people...a white running back and defensive tackle are among the finalists.

Here is why I think the Heisman Award is a joke. It is voted on by college football writers and former Heisman winners. So, most of the voting is done by beat writers who usually cover one team. Consequently, these writers know about the team they cover and the conference in which that team plays, but not much else.

And remember, these voters can put down any three names they want. The five finalists are not the only players eligible for the award; they are just the players most likely to win based on early voting.

That means there could be lots of bias and ignorance. Most of these writers lean towards these biases. Or worse, they use some goofy logic like - "He's the best player on the best team." or "He had that Heisman moment." Even my local paper's UVA beat writer, Jay Jenkins, is guilty of this. He said today on the radio that he voted Mark Ingram first even though he only watched Ingram play twice. He voted C.J. Spiller second because he has seen Spiller play all year while covering the ACC, and Colt McCoy third because he voted McCoy first last year. Yeah that's right, a sentimental pick for the most important award in college football. He also said he wouldn't put Suh on the ballot because he plays defense...what a joke.

Whatever happened to just voting for the best football player? Not the guy with the best numbers, or the guy on the best team, or the guy who made the best play. Just the best player.

All that being said, I figured I'd make my picks. I'm just as informed as these knuckleheads, if not more because I've actually played the game.

If I had a ballot it would look like this:

3. Toby Gerhart - I watched him play last weekend. This kid looked unstoppable, and almost untacklable. He is strong and fast. He hits hard. He plays hard. Now, I said something before about voting for the guy with the best numbers. I think voting for a guy simply because he has the best numbers is lazy, but the numbers should be taken into account, at least a little. Gerhart leads the NCAA FBS in rushing yards and touchdowns. And he plays for Standford! He is the only player of note on Stanford's team, all the defenses focus on him, and he still went for over 1700 yards and 26 touchdowns. That's bad ass.

2. Ndamukong Suh - I haven't seen much Nebraska football this year so I consulted my friend Henri. Henri is one of the smartest football fans I know - he's one of the flat-out smartest people I know. He is also one of the few Nebraska fans I know personally, so I think that makes him uniquely qualified to give an opinion on Suh. He said Suh plays at another level. For three years he has been the most dominant lineman on the field in every game he played. I think Suh might get some consideration, even though he plays defense, because he has great numbers and had a huge game against Texas in the Big 12 Championship game. (82(!) tackles for the season, 12 sacks, 4 sacks in the Championship game.)

1. Mark Ingram - Ingram plays in the toughest conference in college football and still made it look easy. In the biggest game of the year for Alabama, against undefeated, no. 1, holders of a 22-game winning streak, Florida in the SEC title game, he ran for 3 touchdowns after suffering a hip pointer the week before. (That game will go a long way to him winning. It got an 11.8 share. That means a lot of people watched.) He was among the leaders in FCS in rushing yards and touchdowns and he did it playing against SEC defenses. I think he was clearly the best player this year.

There are my picks, but, given my track record of picking and curses I think I've just guaranteed Colt McCoy will win the award.

Week 14 Picks.....

Let me ask you a question: Who the hell did NFL Network piss off at league offices to get stuck with this shitty slate of games on Thursday nights? Panthers-Dolphins? Jets-Bills? Steelers-Browns? If this was Million Dollar Pyramid, these games would be under the "Games I Wouldn't Watch Even If Megan Fox Promised To Have Sex With Me At Halftime" category. I'd rather see the Helen Keller School of the Blind take on the MS All-Stars in a rugby scrum than this garbage(Side note: Next week's Thursday nighter will be Colts at Jags, which will be shown in front of a live audience of roughly 75-80 people. More people in Florida have seen Miley Cyrus hit a high note than they've seen Maurice Jones-Drew run.....tell me why the Jags aren't in L.A. again?) .





Anyway, since we fancy ourselves as a sports website, I guess we have to pick this steaming pile of cow dung known as Browns-Steelers(I'd much rather pick the spread on the number of kills I will get on Call of Duty, which is what I will be doing instead of watching Eric Mangini shit his pants every time Brady Quinn drops back to pass).





Steelers(-10) at Browns

Dave: Steelers - If Pittsburgh were playing any other team, literally ANY OTHER TEAM, I'd pick the underdog here, but Cleveland has a harder time moving the ball than most senior citizens have moving their bowels. Plus, fresh off of losing three straight(including two to NFL superpowers like Kansas City and Oakland), the Steel Curtian will be coming for blood, as they don't want to be embarrassed by the worst team in football on semi-national television(Note: More people have the Spice Channel than NFL Network). The semi-competence of Brady Quinn comes to an end here, as "WE WANT CLAUSEN" chants fill the air by the end of the national anthem. Steelers by 14. (P.S. Dear NFL, how many games does Cleveland have to lose before they convince you that they should never be on primetime? The Seahawks have 5x as many wins as the Browns and have been on national television a total of 0 times. Look, the Browns bandwagon fell apart last October, you don't have to throw a pity party for the city of Cleveland by featuring their worthless football team on cable TV)

Gabe: Steelers - The Steelers need this game, badly. They are currently 6-6 and will most likely need to win out to make the playoffs. I think that fact will have Pittsburgh highly motivated. The other big factor in this game is the weather. It is going to be cold and really windy. Like 30 mph winds windy. Like 45 mph wind gusts windy. That is going to neutralize both passing games. So this game is essentially a match-up of running games versus defenses. Give me Rashard Mendenhall against Cleveland over whatever garbage the Browns are throwing out there against Pittsburgh's D. I think the Steelers D flirts with the shutout and the Steelers grind out a big win, 20-3.

UVA Takes the Easy Way Out

This afternoon at 1pm UVA introduced Mike London as their new head football coach.

And it was a cop out move.

(Disclaimer: The only reason I am saying anything about this hire because it is hyper-local. I can't turn on my radio or TV to any local station without hearing about it.)

On the surface it looks like UVA made the right decision. London is a UVA alum. He was a defensive coordinator on former head coach Al Groh's staff. He has had much success in his only head coaching position, leading Richmond to an FCS national title in his first year there, at a school that, like UVA, has high academic standards.

The hire makes almost perfect sense. UVA was watching one of their own succeed at a school just 65 miles down I-64. Of course they would want to give him a shot.

But those are exactly the reasons that make this an easy, and lazy, choice. UVA needed to make a splash. It seemed like they knew that too. Athletic Director Craig Littlepage said last week that the school was going to do a nationwide search for Al Groh's replacement. I thought they were going to look for a guy who has had some college success, on the FBS level. I thought maybe they would try to get a guy with some NFL ties, like Groh, to help funnel UVA players to the NFL. I guess he meant nationwide, as long as he could make the round trip on less than one tank of gas.

More than anything, I thought they were going to take their time and find a guy who could put butts in the seats again. Mike London fits every part of the profile UVA needed. He won as a head coach. He won at school with high academic standards. He is a defensive coach. He is local and knows central and eastern Virginia, so he should be able to recruit well. But his name doesn't pop. UVA needed everything Mike London is as coach, but they needed a name who brings excitement to the fan base even more. UVA has been losing the fans for two years now. Their attendance has steadily declined during that time. The most important task for the new coach is to re-energize the fan base and fill Scott Stadium again.

I thought going with London was a cost saving measure. A nationwide search would have been expensive and probably would have yielded an expensive coach. Then I found out they are going to pay London $1.7 million a year. For that money they could have gotten a proven coach. Here's a list of some of the coaches in the NCAA who make less than $1.7M a year...Jim Leavitt at South Florida...Chip Kelly at Oregon...Chris Petersen at Boise State...Dave Wannstedt at Pitt...Joe Paterno(!) at Penn State...Nuff said.

Here's the thing, the UVA head coaching job should be an attractive position. The school obviously has money that they are willing to spend. They have great facilities. When properly motivated they have a rabid fan base. Charlottesville is a great town in which to live and work. (I believe my authority on that last sentence is not debatable.) Plus, C'Ville is kind of isolated. You have to want to get here to get here. If you win at UVA you can be a rock star in this town. It's one of those big fish in a small pond deals. (Well, medium-sized pond. You would still have to compete with John Grisham, Howie Long, and that guy named Dave.) The school should be able to attract a big-name coach.

Here's another thing. London is not as proven a coach as it might seem. Yes, he won a national title at Richmond, but it was in his first year when he had 16 returning starters. That was basically Dave Clawson's team. This year they lost in the playoffs to perennial FCS power Appalachian State. He has not yet shown that he can have sustained success. To be fair, he hasn't had the chance, but that still means he is unproven.

We also don't know what he'll be as a recruiter. It seems he has all of the tools to succeed in recruiting in Virginia, but, he is going to have to compete with Virginia Tech, North Carolina, Maryland, and West Virginia on a regular basis for great local talent. Plus, Penn State, Pittsburgh, and Tennessee have been known to venture into the Old Dominion to fill their squads.

To me though, there is one huge reason why London was hired, and hired so quickly. The school is also searching for a new president, so they needed to get the football coach position filled fast. This hire makes sense, but it was the easy route to take.

Week 13 Picks cont...

If Gabe was thankful for anything this past Thanksgiving, it's that his one win last Thursday(as opposed to my 0-3 on Turkey Day) gave him a one-game edge for the week and pushed his season series lead to two. We also had this year's first tie, thanks to the compelling Arizona-Tennessee game that ended with an amazing catch from Kenny Britt(FROM: Rutgers) at the end of regulation. That being said, here's the rest of our Week 13 picks



LAST WEEK: Gabe: 6-9-1, Dave: 5-10-1



SEASON: Gabe 97-76-1, Dave: 95-78-1



THIS WEEK: Gabe 1-0, Dave 1-0



Broncos(-4.5) at Chiefs



Dave: Chiefs - The Chiefs have screwed me all season, whether it be picking them in an upset(like last week against SD) or picking them to get steam-rolled(two weeks ago against Pittsburgh). So, with my selection of KC here, that means the Broncos should win this one by 14. However, the Broncos are 1-16 lifetime in December at Arrowhead and, Thanksgiving's dismantling of Gabe's Giants not withstanding, I'm still not very impressed with Josh McDaniels' boys. I like the emergence of Jamaal Charles and Chris Chambers here, not enough to call for the upset, but perhaps to only lose by a field goal.

Gabe: Broncos - I think the Broncos will have momentum after smoking the Giants. They'll have had 10 days to prepare for the lowly Chiefs. I think the Broncos roll and win by 10.

Raiders (+14.5) at Steelers



Dave: Raiders - Oddly enough, I'd like Pittsburgh to cover here if they went with Dennis Dixon over a woozy Big Ben. You don't just step in a couple weeks after your fourth concussion and go back to putting up 400-yard games. The Steelers have been solid running the ball with Rashard Mendenhall and that takes pressure off Ben and the passing game, but the Raiders are pesky(as proven in wins over Philly and Cincy) and Nnamdi Asomugha is good enough corner to make Big Ben pay if for some reason his dizziness forces him to throw Nnamdi's way. I like the Steelers here, but it's hard to like them more than two touchdowns when their QB has half his wits. Steelers by 13.

Gabe: Steelers - The big reason I am taking the Steelers here is because of the travel. The lack of success of West Coast teams traveling to the East Coast is well documented. The Steelers need this win to stay in the playoff hunt. I think the Steelers make a statement and win by 17.

Houston (PK) at Jacksonville

Dave: Houston - Jacksonville might be the worst team that might make the playoffs in NFL history. They're horrible against the pass because their pass rush is non-existent and that doesn't help against Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson. The Texans have been a huge bust thanks to their Jason Biggs-like inability to close and it's easy to give the Jags the edge because their at home and fighting for a playoff spot, but this season has been so nutty, you have to expect a letdown somewhere. I reluctantly like Houston here by a touchdown.

Gabe: Houston - The last time these teams played Matt Schaub threw for about 1100 yards and Mojo D ran for about 640 yards (those numbers may be exaggerated.) Since then the Texans have become the best run defending team in the league. Even the 150 yards they gave up to Chris Johnson last week was little more than half of the total he had the first time they played this season. The Jags still have one of the worst pass defenses in the league. I think the Texans contain Mojo and Schaub goes nuts again. Texans win by 7.



Titans (+6.5) at Colts



Dave: Titans - We keep waiting for the Colts to finally fall and it never happens. Do I think it happens against red-hot Tennessee? No. Do I think Vince Young can make it close against a beat-up Colts defense? Sure. Peyton Manning, who is intentionally out to make me take back my Drew Brees MVP pick, has not been the same QB he was in first month but he's still been pretty good. However, the Titans D has also improved as their QB has, and I think they frustrate Manning into one of those hard to watch 16-13 games, with Indy on top.

Gabe: Titans - I'll say it again, I'm picking up what the Titans are putting down. The Colts have been winning close games and getting by because of Peyton Manning and his laser rocket arm. Vince Young has always had a strong arm and he is all of a sudden a good quarterback. I think Young will do well against the Colts beat-up secondary and Chris Johnson will do his thing. I like the Titans for the outright win in my....wait for it...Upset Special!!



Eagles (-5.5) at Falcons


Dave: Eagles - No Matt Ryan, No Michael Turner for the Dirty Birds. That's bad news facing a Eagles team that is desperately trying to stay afloat in the NFC East. Also, in the Storylines That Get Forgotten Because They Happened The Same Year As Brett Favre's HGH-Addled Lambeau Return: Mike Vick returns to Atlanta for the first time since going to prison. I say Vick makes a play or two and the Eagles win this one going away. Eagles by 14.

Gabe: Eagles - The Falcons are really beat up. The Eagles have a lot to play for. Mike Vick comes back to Atlanta, which is not really getting a lot of play. I think the Eagles will roll, and win by 10.



Lions (+13) at Bengals

Dave: Lions -I like Matthew Stafford. I think he has great moxie and poise and his cannon arm will complement Calvin Johnson for as long as the two remain together. That being said, he should have been sipping Gatorade by halftime on Turkey Day. With the game out of reach, there was no excuse for Stafford to go through unneeded punishment against a hungry Packers D. Now, as for this week, I see Stafford throwing a few to the other team here as he's facing the underrated corner tandem of Leon Hall and Jonathan Joesph. So why do I like the Lions? Because the Bengals' offense doesn't have the explosiveness to warrant a 13-point spread, even with Cedric Benson back. Bengals grind out another W, win by 10.

Gabe: Bengals - I think the Bengals have too much offense. They have too much talent and are going to grind the ball. The big reason why I like the Bengals to cover this big spread is their defense. They have a great front seven and put lots of pressure on opposing qb's. I think the Bengals win by 17.

Saints(-9.5) at Redskins

Dave: Redskins - Picking the Chiefs, Lions, Raiders and Redskins in the same week? I must be asking for an ass-whooping! Look, I don't think Washington stops the streaking Saints here, but the Redskins are a better team at home and with the weather being a wee bit snowy, that will limit Drew Brees a little bit and force him to use the run game a little more. Remember, the Saints squeaked by St. Louis in a game they should have routed. So I like N.O. here, but only by 6.

Gabe: Redskins - Who has the no. 2 defense, in terms of yards allowed, in the NFL? The Washington Redskins. This is the type of game for which, historically, the Redskins get themselves hyped. They have played poorly all season and now get a chance to flex their muscle late in the year, at home, against a good team. I wouldn't be surprised if the Skins win straight-up, so I'll take them to beat the spread.


Bucs(+5) at Panthers

Dave: Bucs - Yup, picking the Bucs here, too. Jake Delhomme is out(which is actually a good thing) and DeAngelo Williams is hurt(which is a bad thing). Yes, the Bucs suck hard. Yes, the Panthers are at home. But I like Josh Freeman more than I like Matt Moore. Plus, Cadillac Williams went for nearly 80 yards and a score on this Panthers D last time. The Panthers have been the kings of Letdown City, so I like Tampa for the upset here......and I also like me to increase my deficit to Gabe by about 5 games by Tuesday.

Gabe: Panters - The Bucs stink. Jake Delhomme isn't playing so Steve Smith might actually catch more than two passes this week. Jonathan Stewart will run wild against the Bucs. Plus Carolina is at home. The Cats win by 9.



Rams (+9.5) at Bears


Dave: Bears - Almost got cute and took St. Louis here, but I think this is the week we see Jay Cutler and company put it all together. They spent the week getting called out by injured linebacker Brian Urlacher and, with Mike Shanahan breathing down Lovie Smith's neck, I think they take the chains off the offense and let 'er rip. Big games from Forte and Cutler, and Steven Jackson for that matter. Bears by 17.

Gabe: Rams - I am going to get cute. Steven Jackson is playing well right now. The Bears aren't a team to step-up in the face of adversity, much less the psychological mine-field that comes along with the Shananhan rumors. Cutler can throw 4 INT's against anyone. I don't think the Rams win outright, but they keep it close. Bears by 7.



Chargers (-14) at Browns



Dave: Chargers - If you listen closely, you can hear small children in Indonesia stitching together a Colt McCoy Browns jersey.........SD by 21. (P.S. Each week, the Chargers make my SB pick look good.)

Gabe: Chargers - San Diego is playing great. The Browns are the 4th best team in Ohio behind the Bengels, Bearcats, and Buckeyes. (Why do all major sports teams in Ohio start their team nicknames with B?) The Chargers win huge.

49ers (PK) at Seahawks

Dave: 49ers - Prediction: Niners overcome the 2-game hole to Arizona and win the NFC West. With Arizona playing Minnesota and the Niners getting a gimme here against Seattle, that sets up the possibility of SF taking the division lead if they can beat the Cards(which they already did IN ARIZONA in Week 1) on Monday night next week. The schedule the rest of the way? After next week's title fight, SF travels to Philly, then feasts on Detroit and St. Louis. Same goes for Arizona, except instead of Philly, they get a playoff-hunting Green Bay in Week 17. Niners would win the tiebreaker if they enter next Tuesday tied and I can't see either team losing more than once after next Monday. As for this week's game, Seahawks suck, Niners don't. Niners by 9.

Gabe: 49ers - Read the last sentence of what Dave wrote - the Seahawks suck, the Niners don't. Niners win by a touchdown.

Vikings (-3) at Cardinals


Dave: Vikings - Same rules apply for a woozy Kurt Warner that apply to Big Ben. You don't just recover from a concussion in a week and a half and step back onto the field and zing bullets. In the case of the Cardinals, they won't be able to turn to the run game against the Williams Wall. Plus, as much as we all would like to see Benedict Favre implode, I'm afraid the steroids haven't worn off yet. Vikings speed past Arizona here(Get it? Speed? Because AP and Berrian.....oh, nevermind!), win by 10.

Gabe: Vikings - I want to know why this line is only 3. The Vikings are great on every side of the ball. Favre, AP, Berrian, Rice, and Harvin are going to run all over the Cardinals defense. The Williams wall and Jared Allen are going have a field day against whoever is under center for Arizona. The Vikings roll and win by 14.



Cowboys (-2.5) at Giants



Dave: Cowboys - Tough game. Giants are finished and the Cowboys suck in December. From what I'm hearing, it's not expected to be typical Jersey weather for this one, which means we won't get to see Romo sucking it up in the snow(nor do we get to see Eli's "bullet passes" deflate in the Meadowlands wind). The two biggest proponents to the Giants win over Dallas last time(Kenny Phillips and Antonio Pierce) are done for the season and all signs point to Eli joining them(if not by halftime, certainly after they lose this one and fall out of the playoff hunt). I'd love to see the Cowboys crumble, but this Giants team is an enigma. Cowboys by 6.

Gabe: Cowboys - Enigma. That is the perfect word to characterize this game. The Cowboys suck in December, especially outdoors. Both teams need this win. The Giants might already be packing it in for the season though. They beat the Cowboys earlier in the year, but like Dave said, the key proponents of that win are hurt. So what wins out? The Giants being done. The Cowboys still want to play, the Giants don't. As much as it hurts, the Cowboys win by 10.

Patriots (-4) at Dolphins

Dave: Patriots - We keep waiting for Belichick to respond to the criticism with a trademark steamrolling of some lowly opponent. Miami normally plays New England tough but that's usually with Ronnie Brown in the lineup(which, this time, he is not). Brady doesn't look all the way back from his knee blow out and the Dolphins are tough defensively so this can be a trap, but I just can't see The Hoodie dropping two straight with all the fire he's come under. Pats by 6.

Gabe: Dolphins - Brady looks skittish on certain throws, at least that is what the ESPN NFL match-up show tells me. If they know it, then Parcells knows it, and the rest of the Dolphins know it. The game is in Miami so there will be an effect no one ever talks about...cold weather teams getting gassed in the heat. I think Miami pressures Brady and does just enough to win. Miami by 3.


Ravens(+3) at Packers

Dave: Ravens - Purely selfish pick here. Packers are 3-0 when I pick against them and my boys need a win here. To be more specific, while the Packers have done a better job of protecting Aaron Rodgers and this Ravens D is very susceptible to the pass, they're still dangerous. Ray Rice(FROM: RUTGERS!) makes plays on the ground and through the air and Joe Flacco is better than he's played lately. Ravens by 3.

Gabe: Packers - I don't know why really...except that whenever Dave picks against the Pack, they win, and usually big. Ummm...apparently Aaron Rodgers plays well on third down (thanks again NFL Match-Up), and the game is in Lambeau. Packers by 4.

Week 13 Picks

Week 13 kicks off in Toronto this week as the Bills "host" the Jets on a "nationally-televised" game that will be watched by more Canadians than Americans. Here's our take:



Jets(-3) at Bills



Dave: Jets - I'd love to pick a tie here. I can honestly see the Jets winning this one by a field goal. The game's in Toronto, so there's no home field advantage and the last time these two met, Thomas Jones ran all over them (9.5 YPC, which was higher than Mark Sanchez's QB rating of 8.3). I like Darrelle Revis to bring T.O. back to the realm of obscurity, and the Jets to focus on shutting down Fred Jackson. Jets by 6 in a snoozer.

Gabe: Jets - I know, it's boring when Dave and I don't go oppo, but it is what it is. Like Dave said, Revis is going to shut down T.O. The Jets are going to be able to focus on Fred Jackson. The Bills pass defense is decent so they should hold Sanchez in check, so to me the difference in the game will be Thomas Jones. I think he has a decent game and the Jets win by 9.

Milk Carton All-Stars of the Week.....12/3/2009

As promised, we doubled up the Milk Carton All-Star of the Week in honor of Tiger Thursday(or Two-time Thursday, whichever you prefer). This week, we have two fire-balling closers whose 15 minutes expired about 15 minutes ago.

The hefty gentleman to your left is journeyman Bob Wickman. Wickman started out his as a set-up man with the Yankees from 1992 to 1997, when he ended in Milwaukee. He wouldn't emerge as a closer until 1998 when he closed out 25 games for the Brewers. He followed that up by saving 37 games the following year. Wickman would make the biggest name for himself in Cleveland, where led the league in saves with 45 in 2005 and became the Indians' all-time saves leader with 130 in 2006. He was then traded to Atlanta, where his penchant for loading the bases up before closing out games made Braves fans sweat during 9th innings like Patrick Ewing during the playoffs. All in all, the hefty right-hander notched 267 saves in his 15 seasons(good for 25th best all-time) and made two All-Star game appearances. However, the nail in his coffin as a closer came when he gave up a grand slam to Adam Dunn in extra innings and then complained to Braves manager Bobby Cox about having to closer in non-save situations. That led to his release and subsequent arrival in Arizona, where he became Jose Valverde's caddy.

The man with the sweet chin hair next to him is hard-throwing Billy Koch. Koch was the 4th overall pick in the 1996 Draft by the Toronto Blue Jays. Koch's triple-digit fastball made him an instant hit with Canadians(who aren't used to speed outside of a mountie on a galloping horse) and Koch notched 31 saves in his rookie season(which was good enough to make him 7th in RoTY voting behind eventual winner and New York Met waste-of-space Carlos Beltran). Koch continued to dominate the 9th inning his next two years in Toronto, saving 33 and 36 games in 2000 and 2001 respectively. He was then traded to Oakland for former Rookie of the Year Eric Hinske. Koch blew up in his first year with the A's, busting out 44 saves before then-Twins catcher A.J. Pierzynski served up Koch's career kill shot by going yard in Game 5 of the ALDS. Koch's career would never be the same afterwards. He was traded to the White Sox for closer Keith Foulke and would only save 19 games in two seasons in the Windy City before ending his career with the Florida Marlins at age 29 in 2004. In his short career, the Rick Vaughn clone struck out 357 batters in 407 innings and saved 163 games in his 6 year career.

So let's give a round of applause to the two biggest examples that quality closers can come from anywhere.......Bob Wickman and Billy Koch, ladies and gents!

Cut Their Mic Off Award Winners # 7 and 8

In honor of Tiger Woods' "transgressions", I decided to declare today: TWO-TIME THURSDAY. What does that mean exactly? It means I now have an excuse to double up on both the Cut Their Mic Award and the Milk Carton All-Star of the Week. We'll start it off with this week's bastion of buffoonery.

"I used to drink Hennessy....at halftime. I [kept it] in my locker. I'd just walk to the liquor store and get it.....When I was a 19-year old father, whew. I was a single pimp! I was wild. A lot of marijuana and alcohol -- even before [that age].....I used to drink every night and party every night."

When talking about a Grade A idiot like Ron Artest, I suppose one shouldn't be surprised by quotes like this. After all, this is the same guy who, upon arriving in Los Angeles, asked the L.A. media is San Diego had a baseball team.....WHILE WEARING A PADRES CAP! This is the same man who once tried to pummel a fan for throwing a beer cup at him....while Artest was laying on the scorer's table after a brawl....for whatever reason. Perhaps my issue is, why? What possible reason could there be for admitting to getting liquored up during halftime while with the Bulls nearly a decade ago? What other motivation could Artest possibly have except to keep his name in the papers and stir up more controversy? Now, of course, one could be taken aback by Artest's blatant disregard for raising his child by spending his nights partying it up, but this is Ron Artest.....not exactly the poster child for great parenting. Hell, Jon Gosselin is probably a better father than this guy.

Artest claims that the original reason for sharing the story was to show how far he's come as a person. You know, from drunk, psychotic, lunatic to just batshit crazy. He claims the media dissected his story, deciding only to use the juicy tidbits to sell papers. Well, no shit, Sherlock! It's the media! For Christ's Sake, these are the same people who spent two weeks running editorials on a couple of lines about Andre Agassi's meth addiction in Agassi's tell-all. When has the media ever not taken something out of context and ran with it? Shit, we here at BoomRoastedSports have made a feature out of taken dumb quotes out of context and running with it! It's hard to grasp the concept of someone's maturation when he is so easily deceived by the same reporters he's been talking to for the last ten years. What exactly were you expecting from this story, Ron? A Noble Peace Prize? Well, I'm afraid you lucked out. As a consolation, though, we've cut your mic off.

"I really feel sorry for Elin, since me and my wife were at fault for hooking her up with him. We probably thought he was a better guy than he is. I would probably need to apologize to her and hope she uses a driver next time instead of a 3-iron."

The quote comes from the man responsible for setting up Tiger Woods with his soon-to-be-ex-wife, Elin: Swedish douchebag Jesper Parnevik. Now, I understand that Parnevik has a closer relationship with Mrs. Woods, as she is his former nanny. That being said, you don't sandbag another man in public over an alleged affair that you know very little about. For one, Tiger has never fully admitted to an affair, just that there have been "transgressions"(Translation: He's been gettin' it in with women who aren't his wife). Secondly, whether he has or hasn't stepped out on his wife, is NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS. In fact, it's none of our business, either. Also, even if it was meant in jest, you don't encourage the behavior of a woman who may have went Johnny Drama on her husband with a golf club by joking that she should have got a better club. Would you like YOUR wife to chase you with a 3-iron? Of course not....so shut it.

And when did Parnevik become Mr. Perfect? Sure, maybe he does step out on his wife like Woods probably did. Maybe that's because Parnevik is a no-name jerk-off who likes to play golf in hot pink polos and not the world's most famous athlete like Woods is. You "feel sorry" for Mrs. Woods, Jesper? Really? You worry about the well-being of a woman who is probably going to net somewhere near $300 million in a divorce settlement. Oh yes, poor her. She'll be crushed. I just can't fathom watching her wipe her tears with Tiger's benjamins. Oh, those poor kids, how they'll starve! Save it. Look, Tiger fucked up. So did Michael Jordan. So did Brad Pitt. So did A-Rod. You know why? Because their famous athletes who spend a majority of their time around groupie girls with low morals who are dying for a taste of fame. Why do you think this broad saved the voicemails Tiger left her? She was seeing the green better than Tiger did at Augusta the minute he looked twice at her.

You thought he was a "better guy than he is". We all did. Then we realized he's human. That he has moments of weakness. That in a life spent travelling the world all year long, he gets lonely and occasionally yearns for the attention of someone of the opposite sex, even if that person is not his wife. You can only satisfy so many needs from thousands of miles away. Something tells me Mrs. Woods isn't getting real heavy with nasty phone sex while trying to put two kids to sleep. Like I said, Tiger made a mistake and he apologized. If there's one disappointment I personally have over all of this is that Tiger never bothered to drop the armor and reason with us like a human being. In a moment where he proved he's just like one of us and should be treated like such, he still found time to break out the contrived speeches and pre-meditated statements. Sure, Tiger's right, family issues like this shouldn't require press conferences, but perhaps fans and media alike cling to moments like this because we are all searching for a little bit of humanity from our heroes. THAT is what will stick in my craw about Tiger's "transgressions", the fact that he still conjured up the robot act. That he still refused to be real with us.

As for Parnevik, the man better even so much as smile at a busty waitress from Sweden to Hong Kong. He better spend the rest of his life as a perennial candidate for husband of the year, because the minute he finds himself in the same situation Tiger is in, I hope Tiger is standing right behind him at that very second to tee off on Jesper's face like it's Hole 1 of The Masters......and guess what, Jesper?

He won't need the driver.