Does America Need The NHL?

In my baseball preview, I mentioned that, with the NFL and possibly the NBA dealing with labor strife that could affect their upcoming seasons, this had to be the year Major League Baseball stepped up and took back the reins as America's past time. The same can also be said about the NHL.......except for one thing.

People in America don't really care about hockey.

Now, I'll admit that everything that I will write in the next few paragraphs will come off as ignorant to diehard fans of the ice rink because my hockey knowledge is not what one would consider "expansive". However, that, in a roundabout way, is kind of my point. If someone who spends his free time writing about sports, watching sports and watching shows about people talking about sports, doesn't feel compelled to learn about a sport that was once considered part of America's "Big Four", what does that say about the overall interest of professional hockey? I'm not saying that my interest is more desired than anyone else's but if I, a avid sports fan, represent the everyman and the everyman doesn't really care much about the sport of hockey, where does hockey stand overall in the hearts of people in this country?

That question inspired this week's "Dumb Honest Question of the Week".

Does America need the NHL anymore?

Let's think about where sports has gone since the NHL came back from strike in 2005.

Is the NHL more popular now than the NFL, NBA, or MLB? Absolutely not, but then again, they probably never were even back during the Wayne Gretzky-Mario Lemieux days.

How about MMA, which has seen a meteoric rise over the last half-decade while hockey was getting back into the swing of things? Is the NHL more popular than the UFC? Monthly pay-per-view numbers and the success of shows like "Ultimate Fighter" would say no.

Then, there's the minuscule sports that hockey probably gets the W over.

Boxing? Absolutely, unless Mayweather-Pacquiao is somehow scheduled during the Stanley Cup.

Tennis and Golf? Probably, with the exception of when Tiger Woods was at the peak of his popularity or if Roger Federer and Rafa Nadal or the Williams' sisters are battling out in Wimbledon(or, going back a little further, when Andre Agassi and Pete Sampras were in their prime, but even then hockey may have had tennis beat).

Pro wrestling and NASCAR? In the North, yes. Down south, definitely not.

Another issue with the NHL is the lack of TV exposure. These days, you can only find a regular season hockey game on Versus or the NHL Network or the occasional Sunday nighter on NBC. Even playoff coverage of the NHL isn't on a major network. Versus is in less households than DVD copies of "Glitter"(OK, that may be a stretch, but you get my point) and they are carrying the most important games of the hockey season. Could you imagine the NFL's postseason ratings if only 60% of America could watch the Super Bowl from home? If major networks like ESPN would rather air bowling tournaments or spelling bees over a Penguins-Capitals tilt, doesn't that say something about their lack of faith in the NHL to draw ratings? Maybe the lack of hockey exposure is more ignorance on the part of cable companies than a death knell to the league, but where's the overwhelming clamoring for commissioner Gary Bettman to lock down a deal with a major network? Where's the outrage from fans who have to watch their sport get bracketed between bull riding and a re-airing of Caddyshack on Versus? Think about all the buzz the potential NFL lockout is getting now from fans and writers who dread a fall season without pigskin, did the NHL register an eighth of the reaction in 2004 that the NFL is dealing with now?

The ill effect of having no major network coverage on the NHL can't be stressed enough. Fans of other sports know where to go when they want to watch a game. You want football? Try FOX or CBS or NBC on Sundays and ESPN on Mondays(on mute, of course, unless you like the ridiculous jargon of Jon Gruden). You like basketball? You can find the NBA four or five nights a week on TNT or ESPN. Want to watch baseball? ESPN carries a couple games a week. So does FOX and TBS. As for the NHL, who wants to shell out a couple hundred bucks extra for The NHL Network, in this economy, to watch what other sports are broadcasting for much cheaper?

My solution? Move the NHL out of the US and make it an international sport. I don't hate hockey, but you can't expect Americans to get into your sport if they have no simple means to watch it. That's why we don't care about soccer. Like soccer, most Americans only care about hockey every four years so that they have a reason to express fake patriotism and root for the US to prove their dominance on other countries(the same goes for Americans during the World Cup or Olympic soccer. The only time people ever cared about Mia Hamm is when there was a gold medal and bragging rights at stake. We're an arrogant, materialistic country.). It also doesn't help that the teams that tend to dominate in the NHL share cities with teams that dominate in other sports. My friend Sean loves hockey and all of Pittsburgh sports(yup, even the Pirates), but he's not watching the Penguins over the Steelers, nor is any Pittsburgh resident from October to February. The Blackhawks may be the defending Stanley Cup champs, but all of that celebrating in Chicago will be dwarfed if the Bulls make an NBA Finals run. New Yorkers don't care about the Rangers now that Carmelo is a Knick and the Yankees are poised to make another World Series run. The only real major city that cares about the NHL over other sports during hockey season is Detroit and that's because their other option is the Lions. If Ndomukong Suh becomes the next Warren Sapp and Matt Stafford the next John Elway, it's going to be bye-bye Red Wings.

So you take hockey out of America. Instead of the Los Angeles Kings, you have the Hamburg Monarchs or the Moscow Capitals. People in L.A. stopped caring about the Kings after Gretzky left anyway and hockey doesn't register a blip on Hollywood's radar so long as Kobe is still running the Lake Show. There's 30 teams in the NHL, 24 of them in the U.S. Chop that number from 30 down to about 20, put a couple more teams in Canada, and then spread the rest throughout Sweden, Finland, Russia, Germany, France and any of the other hot beds for the NHL's elite talent. I know moving hockey out of America is yet another kick in the nuts to Buffalo sports fans but if the Bills are willing to move to Canada, then Sabres fans should be too. If you're going to make Americans pay good money to watch hockey, it better be because it has to be filmed through grainy, European cameras across the pond. Americans will fake outrage for a few weeks, but once the NFL gets their shit together and we have football back in the fall, all of that manufactured pain will dissolve quickly. Let Canada have Sidney Crosby back, where he can be fully appreciated. It's the least we can do for giving us Elisha Cuthbert(although we should penalize them for giving us Justin Bieber, too).

As someone who tries every day to get this blog off the ground and into the eyes of the masses, the success of your product is contingent on exposure. If Alexander Ovechkin was standing behind you in a coffee shop in SoHo, you probably wouldn't recognize him. Most New Jersey residents think Zach Parise is a cast member from "The Sopranos". If the NHL isn't going to work hard to give hockey to every American, then America needs to give it the boot. People still care about Manchester United or AC Milan eventhough they don't step foot on U.S. soil very often. The NHL could survive without America. It's been doing it for the last six years.

This Christmas....

Christmas is a week from Saturday and, if you're a gluttonous bastard like me, you care solely about the nice presents your friends and family spent their hard-earned duckets to buy you so that you didn't have to......or maybe you're not. To each their own.


Anyway, in the spirit of Christmas(or more importantly, gift-giving), I'm handing out some presents of my own to people who are not very near to me, but still very dear to me.


To Yankees fans: a bridge.....so you can get the hell over it. Please stop whining about swinging and missing on Cliff Lee. Two years ago, your boys were like a couple of fat kids on "Supermarket Sweep"(dated reference #1 of the night) with their aggressive greed in hauling in guys like Mark Teixeira, C.C. Sabathia, Nick Swisher and A.J. Burnett. So, you missed out on the biggest fish in the pond this year? So what!? You know who the Pirates lured to Pittsburgh this offseason? Me neither. 75% of the teams in the majors would trade their pitching rotation for the starting five of Sabathia, Burnett, Phil Hughes, Andy Pettitte(if he doesn't retire) and Sergio Mitre(OK, so maybe teams aren't salivating over Mitre, but you get the point). You won the World Series two years ago, for Christ's sake!

Try getting sympathy from Kansas City Royals fans, who haven't seen a World Series pennant in ages and are weeks away from watching their ace Zack Grienke get shipped out of town. Yes, those hated Red Sox got better, but at least the Rays got worse, right? You're still a mortal lock for the playoffs and we all know Cashman will feel pressured into either overpaying in a trade for Greinke or stealing some other stud off a small market team. So please, Bronx residents, put down the brown bags and stop with the panic attacks. You avoided handing a 32-year old pitcher who was sent down to the minors by the Indians not too long ago a huge contract that would have had him making a little over $20 million at age 39. Not every prized free agent turns out to be a franchise savior. Just ask Mets fans.

To my old buddy, Brett Favre: a rewind button. Forget about Favre ending his streak of starts last night. That was going to happen in four weeks anyway when he inevitably hung them up(or so he says he will). As I wrote about a month ago, Favre's voyage outside of Wisconsin these past three years was a bit....shall I say....ill-advised. Obviously, it's easy to say now that Favre should have avoided the unretirement in 2008 and avoided the Jenn Sterger fiasco and the drama he got into with Packers fans such as myself by suiting up for the Vikings these past two years. That's now why I'm offering Favre the mulligan. My proposal to Brett: You rewind these last three years to March of 2008 and rather than announce your retirement and allow Green Bay to move on to the Aaron Rodgers Era(which has been great, thank you, albeit uneventful), you tell the world that you will give it one last go. Favre had the Packers one ill-fated interception away from the Super Bowl. Sure, the same can be said about last year with his brainless heave that landed in Tracy Porter's arms in the NFC Championship against New Orleans, but think about if Favre's gets a chance to rethink his decision three years ago.




Naturally, he avoids all the turmoil and headlines he's endured the last few months in particular. That goes without saying. More importantly, it allows Favre to retire a Green Bay Packer with his image and reputation in tact. He doesn't get to be hated by women worldwide and spurned Packers fans. Regardless of how the season turns out, he goes out a Packer and avoids becoming one of the country's most vilified athletes. We all know these last three years weren't worth it for Favre. The question is, would he do it all again?


To Carmelo Anthony: A trade to the Knicks. This is nothing against the city of Denver, the state of Colorado, or Nuggets fans, but you are kidding yourselves if you think 'Melo would turn down a chance to be the center of attention in the Mecca of Basketball, Madison Square Garden, to shoot open jumpers in front of a semi-packed Pepsi Center. While Yankees fans don't deserve Cliff Lee, Knicks fans deserve Carmelo Anthony and, honestly, 'Melo deserves New York. 'Melo played ball at Syracuse. He grew up a couple hours down the highway in Baltimore. Everything about 'Melo's game, swagger, attitude, charisma is made to be put on display at The Garden. For Knicks fans, it's a nice consolation prize after the front office blew their shot at LeBron they hoaxed fans for two years into getting excited about. They get a bonafide star in 'Melo(Side note: This is taking nothing from Amare Stoudemire, who has been a great addition and is also built for the Big Apple, but he doesn't sell sports drinks like 'Melo's thousand-watt smile.) and also gives the Knicks a shot at their own Big Three when David Stern inevitably trades Chris Paul to the Knicks for some Spike Lee movies, a package of Sabrett hot dogs and a case of Italian ices. Granted, dealing 'Melo makes basketball in the Rockies irrelevant again, but why get strung along any further, Nuggets fans? 'Melo wants out. He wants New York. It's been real. Why become the next Cleveland? Get what you can from a clearly salivating Knicks franchise and hope to salvage something from the remains of the 'Melo Era and move on. It's for the best for everyone.




To Urban Meyer: The Denver Broncos head coaching job. I don't know if Josh McDaniels deserved to be fired and, frankly, I don't care. What's done is done. However, if McDaniels' goal this season was to kill all the excitement over Tim Tebow's rookie season, then mission accomplished. Seriously, was there a rookie you were more intrigued to see get on the field than Tebow this season? Instead, what did we get? A couple of garbage time goal-line scores and some hardly-watched preseason snaps? Look, I'm not saying Tim Tebow deserves to be a starter in the NFL, but I want to see what the kid can do instead of watch him get buried on the depth chart behind the clearly starter-worthy Kyle Orton the next few years. You know one guy who would be glad to oblige my request? Tebow's old flame and newly-minted retiree, Urban Meyer.




Urban, I'm not buying the "I want to spend more time with my family" retirement speech. College football coaches are snake oil salesmen. We've seen it with Nick Saban. We've seen it with Bobby Petrino. We've seen it with Lane Kiffin. You may be the only honest one of the bunch, but you'll have to forgive me for being a little skeptical. You know why I think you left Florida? Because you knew Tebow was your golden goose and that John Brantley is not the goods. It's OK to admit you miss Touchdown Timmy, Urban. It's understandable. He was to you what Jay-Z was to Damon Dash. He made you a household name. All of that stuff you did with Alex Smith and Utah a few years ago was great, but it's a distant memory. People associate you with Tebow. You're the Tubbs to his Crockett(Dated reference #2). You're the Gabe Rodriguez to his Dave Leonardis.





You may seriously miss your family and your speech may be 100% genuine but the timing is also 100% sketchy, my man. You quit your job shortly after the team that has your former prized pupil cans its coach? Weird coincidence, don't you think, Urban? Listen, spend the holidays with the family. Get reacquainted with your daughters and your wife and be Daddy Dearest for a few months, but when spring time rolls around and you feel that itch to pick up a clipboard and jot some notes, give a call to the Broncos and see if they'll have you. Hey, I've been to Colorado, it's not a bad place. Don't let the fact that 'Melo wants out scare you. Timmy needs you, Urban. He's a few short months from being replaced by Cam Newton as the new face of power running quarterbacks. You're his only hope. Kick the family man act and come to the pros. Thank you, and God Bless.

To the NHL: Some relevance. I tried, Mr. Bettman, I really did. I tried to get into your sport. I signed up for fantasy hockey. I had New Jersey Devils score alerts sent to my phone. I bought NHL 10 for my XBOX but, after a few short months, I'm out again. For starters, you're not on a major network. Versus? Come on! 60% of their programming is bull riding and old sports flicks...and my cable company doesn't even get them. You really expect me to shell out a few bills for Open Ice in a recession.....during football season? You have Sidney Crosby. You have Alex Ovechkin. You have this Stamkos kid whose keeping my fantasy team out of last place.




Go call up ESPN and ask them if they'll give up a couple hours of having Rachel Nichols camp out on Brett Favre's lawn, spit LeBron's dick out of their mouths, and air a hockey game or two. Your sport is actually exciting to watch....and given the fact ESPN has had guys like Joe Morgan and Jon Gruden commentating their broadcasts, you don't even need a decent announce team to be watchable. No major sport can expect to survive without television. Hell, even pro wrestling has television rights and that stopped being entertaining after Chris Benoit went off the deep end. So please, Gary, get yourself a TV deal. Bring the NHL here so people outside of Europe and Canada can actually give a shit about it(well, Pittsburgh loves hockey, but only because after football season, their other option is the Pirates.....Yeesh!).

To Tom Brady: a personality. Deep down, beneath that stupid hairdo and those GQ good looks, there is probably an inner Tom Brady that is acceptable to people that aren't Beantown residents, young women or metrosexuals, but us real men need to see it. I liked Brady when he first broke out because he had that "kid in a candy shop" kind of vibe to him. He had confidence but he still at times acted like he was surprised by everything that was happening to him(like the famous shot of Brady with his hands on his head in disbelief after knocking off the Rams in 2001 for his first Super Bowl win).




Now, he's gone corporate. He's become Bill Belichick's drone. Tell us a joke, Tommy! Give us a quote or something. We get it! You're a winner! You're not like us. You have a hot model wife. You have impeccable hair, but just once, kill the robot act. Shit, even Peyton Manning drops the "Aw, shucks" shtick every now and then and hosts Saturday Night Live or does a funny commercial or two. You really want to come off as less entertaining than Mr. Laser Rocket Arm? Come on, Tom, the Patriots are the best team in the league and you're on pace to win another MVP, give us something! Although, if I had my way, that award would go to.....

To Michael Vick: The 2010 NFL MVP. I know Brady's having the better year statistically and he's more valuable to the best team in football, but for the story alone, my vote goes to Mike Vick for the MVP. Donte Stallworth, Brett Favre, Tiger Woods, LeBron James, and Plaxico Burress combined didn't take the PR beatdown Vick took during his dogfighting scandal. Unlike Stallworth, Vick did REAL time in a REAL prison. He didn't get to do pull-ups for 30 days and then run free. Vick did nearly two years.....in Leavenworth. Vick had PETA calling for his head on a spit. He wasn't getting skewered on US Weekly like Tiger was. Vick got a real suspension, something the NFL is apparently scared to do to Favre. Vick had to deal with fans picketing everywhere he went once he tried to find work after being released from prison. He wasn't dealing with a few boo birds like King James has dealt with this year.








Look, what Vick did was wrong, but the man paid the freight for his wrong-doings and, while it's understandable for some animal lovers to forever have an axe to grind with him, there's no question he has been the game's most electrifying player through three months this season. Brady's been great. He's also been boring. There's no sizzle in handing another MVP to Tom Brady. You want to salvage a season marred by Favre's chicanery and a potential upcoming, give the league's most prestigious award to the season's best comeback story. Throw Mike Vick a bone........what? Too soon?


To Justin Bieber: a tall glass of bleach to drink. Look, between Twilight, Glee and this bubblegum pop fairy, I'm slowly hoping that the premonitions from the movie 2012 are correct. Every generation has had flash-in-the-pan "entertainers" who couldn't sing worth a lick but managed to become a phenomenon because they catch on with a certain demographic(read: dumb, young white kids), but Bieber takes the cake in terms of being completely impossible to stomach. As much as I hate Tom Brady's haircut, I hate it even more on this pipsqueak AND the fact he tried to start a beef with Brady with some half-assed "freestyle" taking potshots at Tom Terrific. If listening to this little shit try to spit a 16 didn't make 2Pac roll around his grave(yes, folks, 2Pac is dead. Don't believe the hype.), then nothing will. Bryant Gumbel has more street cred than Justin Bieber. Now, the inevitable plight of people like Britney Spears and Debbie Gibson and the Backstreet Boys have proven that, eventually, reality sets in and people start realizing that these guys don't have a lick of talent and they move on to the next fad. And I know Glee and Twilight will hopefully soon become like "Sex and the City" or "Friends" or any of the other "hit" shows that only appeal to women and homosexuals and fade away, but for Bieber.....it needs to end soon and it needs to end fast. For my sake. For the male population's sake....and most importantly, for 2Pac's sake(I also know you don't start a sentence with "And", but I did anyway. Sue me, grammar police!).


(Side note: I refuse to put a Justin Bieber photo on my website. If you really need a picture, Google "K.D. Lang" and think 20 years younger.

Where is Titletown, USA?

There has been a lot of talk on the web lately of Pittsburgh dethroning Boston as "Titletown" should the Penguins win the Stanley Cup, which, in case our little blog is your only source for news, they did.

Between the Steelers and Penguins in Pittsburgh, and the Patriots, Red Sox, and Celtics in Boston, those two cities have had very nice runs in the last few years.

I decided to take a scientific (sort of) approach to this idea and answer the question, Where is Titletown, USA?

Here is what I did: I went analyzed the four major professional sports' championships since the year 2000. I gave points to each city for each time they won a title AND for each time they were a runner-up. I did this for each title that was competed following the 2000 through 2009 regular seasons. (This means I started with Super Bowl XXXV, the 99-00 NBA and NHL seasons, and included the NBA and NHL for 2009.)

I also wanted to rankings to be weighted based on the importance of each sport in our national consciousness. The NFL has the most weight, the NHL the least. I weighted the NBA and MLB equally. One might be able to argue for the NBA or MLB to ranked over the other, but on the whole they are about equally popular.

So the scoring goes like this: 4 points for a Super Bowl win, 3 points for an NBA title or a World Series win, 2 points for a Stanley Cup win, 1 point less than each of these number for being a runner-up.

One other important note, I grouped metro areas together. So, Los Angeles and Anaheim are grouped, Boston represents New England, Oakland and San Francisco, New York and the New Jersey teams that play in East Rutherford, etc.

With all that said, and no more ado, here are your top 10 ranked "Titletown, USA's."


10. 6 points. 5-way tie between Charlotte, Chicago, Indianapolis, Miami, and Phoenix. I could just say for you to go and do the research yourself, but I'll be nice and do the breakdown. Charlotte - The Panthers lost a Super Bowl (2003), the Hurricanes have won (2006) and lost (2002) the Stanley Cup; Chicago - The Bears lost a Super Bowl (2006), the White Sox won World Series (2005);
Indianapolis - The Colts won a Super Bowl (2006), the Pacers lost in the NBA Finals (2000);
Miami - The Heat won an NBA title (2006), the Marlins won a World Series (2003);
And Phoenix - The Cardinals lost a Super Bowl (2008), and the Diamondbacks was a World Series (2001).

Basically, one win and one loss in the major sports puts you in the top 10 (except for Charlotte).

7. 8 points. 3-way tie between Philadelphia, St. Louis, and Tampa Bay.

Philly - The Eagles lost a Super Bowl (2004), won a World Series (2008), and lost in the NBA Finals (2001).
St. Louis - Lost a Super Bowl (2001), lost a World Series (2004), and won a World Series (2006).
Tampa Bay - Won a Super Bowl (2002), lost a World Series (2008), and won a Stanley Cup (2004).

It looks like three appearences in title games is enough to get the seventh slot.

6. 9 points. San Antonio

Now the fun starts. From here on in there are no ties. San Antonio is in the six slot simply on the strength of their three NBA titles this decade. In fact, if I had done this list starting with the 1999 season San Antonio would have been in the top five, on the strength of four NBA titles, but rules are rules, even if the rules are arbitrary and made up for my blog.

5. 10 points. Detroit

For a city that languishes in despair because of the economy and the Lions, they have had success in the title games. The Red Wings have been in the Stanley Cup Finals three times (2 wins, 1 loss) and the Pistons have won one and lost one NBA title. Add to all of that the Tigers World Series appearance in 2006 and Detroit rounds out my top five.

4. 11 points. Pittsburgh

So much for being the top dog. Pittsburg couldn't make it into the top 3. But, the did get to number 4 on the strength of two teams, the Steelers and the Penguins. The Steelers have won 2 Super Bowls and Penguins have won and lost one Stanley Cup. But, if I had put a premium on recency then Pittsburgh would have definitely been higher, because the teams have done all of this in the past 3 seasons.

3. 20 points. Los Angeles/Anaheim

L.A. being number 3 is because of the Lakers. They have been in the NBA Finals in six of the ten years I looked at. (Note, I gave L.A. credit for winning this year even though right now they are only up 3-1. It's inevitable.) (edit: Between the time I started writing and the time I published the Lakers sealed the deal.) Of those six finals they have only lost twice. Add to the Lakers the Angels World Series win in 2002 and the Ducks two Stanley Cup appearances (one win, one loss), and L.A. rounds out the top 3. L.A. might be La-la land, but they are definitely a basketball city.

2. 24 points. Boston/New England
Boston's success in the last decade is well known. They are on this list because of the the Patiots' mess of Super Bowl wins (and one loss, to my Giants), the Sox's two World Series wins, and the Celtics one title. I was actually surprised that they were not number one, which begs a question. With Boston and Pittsburgh already up here, who is no. 1? Where is Titletown?

Well.....drum roll please.......

Titletown, USA is.........



1. 25 points. New York/New Jersey
I can hear the homer chants now. I'm counting the Nets and Devils because they play their home games in the same complex as the Giants and Jets, right across the river from NYC. Some might say New York has an unfair advantage because they have at least two teams in each of the major sports (2 in each, except for 3 in the NHL, remember the Islanders?) While that is true, in the time period I looked at they only put both teams from one sport into a championship in baseball, and that was the 2000 subway series. Aside from that they are number one because of the Giants, Yankees, Nets, and Devils. Each of these teams made their respective championships multiple times, and all but the Nets won at least once. No other city can boast putting a team from each of the major sports into the finals in the last ten years. So Boston, tell the Bruins to wake up, and L.A., keep a football team other than USC.

That's it, that's my list.

Let the debate begin.