Siding With The Enemy

"You need people like me so you can point your fuckin' fingers and say 'That's the bad guy.' So what's that make you? Good? You're not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie." Al Pacino as Tony Montana in Scarface

Here's something I am sure you won't hear(or read, if you want to get technical) very often around this country:

I feel sorry for Barry Bonds.

In my heart of hearts, I have genuine sympathy for the sporting world's biggest bad guy. Now, I know what you're going to say. "Well, he did this to himself. He chose to cheat. He chose to allegedly lie to a grand jury. He chose to be a prick to us and the media."

You'd be right, but we all make choices in life. Some good. Some bad. Nobody's perfect and nobody is invincible to making the wrong decisions.

Why did Barry Bonds take performance-enhancing drugs?

The same reason Jose Canseco did. The same reason A-Rod did...and Manny Ramirez...and Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa...and hundreds more while they tried to make their mark in the hallowed halls of America's favorite pastime. Barry Bonds cheated because, back then, we really didn't care about steroids. We didn't care about how allowing abnormal athletes to become even more abnormal would affect us until the dream world we envisioned for the game of baseball started to blur the lines of reality. We're ok with paying good money to watch 14-13 slugfests.....but not when it comes at the expense of the history of what made this game great. Not when it threatened to erase the memories and careers of the old legends we held so dear to us.

If I can play Devil's Advocate here, what did Barry Bonds ever do to us?

He cheated the game of baseball. So did Roger Clemens.

He lied to us. So did George W. Bush.

He was an asshole. Guess what? A lot of celebrities are.

The power of being the fan or the sportswriter or the sports radio shock jock is that we get to write the story lines and get to choose whose good and whose evil in the sports world instead of the athletes themselves. It's an unfair abuse of power. We're also fine with given the once-shunned second chances. Kobe Bryant was a rapist and a scourge to the NBA until he started winning championships and becoming the closing thing to Michael Jordan since Jordan hung 'em up. After that, it was OK for him to sell us sneakers and sports drinks and put his poster on our walls and his jersey on our backs. Micheal Vick was inhumane evil incarnate for three or four years while going through his dogfighting saga......until he started flashing the potential that made him the next great NFL quarterback.

I'm not saying Bryant and Vick didn't deserve another shot at our adoration. I'm asking why we never gave that shot to Barry Bonds. Barry Bonds is a liar, a cheater, and an all-around jerk...so what would be a suitable punishment for him? Vick did two years in a prison cell in Leavenworth to pay his debt to society. What's the going price for forgiveness for arguably the greatest hitter of our generation?

Don't begin to tell me that if Barry Bonds stood at the top of the steps of the Supreme Court, admitted to using steroids and apologized for the Albert Haynesworth-sized skidmark of tarnish he put on the game of baseball that you would absolve him of his sins. Barry Bonds may have wronged us by using steroids to take a wrecking ball to nearly every relevant record the game of baseball had to offer, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't feel bad for what the man has had to go through.

Would YOU want syringes thrown at you while you're at work? Would YOU like one of your former flings to announce to the whole world that you were a two-pump chump unable to satisfy a woman with balls the size of cherries? Would YOU want to have a nation clamoring for someone to take a gigantic eraser to everything you've accomplished over your illustrious career simply because you got caught using the same advantage that so many of your peers were using? Would YOU like strangers threatening your life?

We shrug our shoulders at Bonds' obstacles because he isn't our kind of bad guy. We don't look at him like we do a LeBron James, as a man who we may not like at the moment but are willing to let jump back into our hearts after awhile. We scripted Bonds into being the baddest of bad guys and, rather than beg for our mercy and our adoration, he basked in the hatred. Then, when the out pour of dislike became too much for even a man with genetically-enhanced shoulders to bear, he did what any normal human being would have done: he fought back.

"All you guys lied. All of ya'll. In the story or whatever - you have lied. Should you have an asterisk beside your name? All of you lied. All of you have said something wrong. All of you have dirt. All of you. When your closet's clean, then come clean somebody else's. But clean yours first, OK." -- Barry Bonds, March 7, 2006.

The beauty of being on the other side of the microscope is that we never have to look at ourselves and judge ourselves. We never have to pay for our sins or worry about living our lives on the straight and narrow. I feel for Barry Bonds because, like him, I have made mistakes. Maybe not as big or as public or as detrimental to the business that I am a part of, but I have made mistakes. I, like Barry Bonds, am human. I, like Barry Bonds, would do whatever it took to ensure that I finished my career as the greatest to ever step foot in the arena especially if I knew my peers were cutting the same corners I was and getting away with it. It's easy to point fingers and say "How could you do this to us, Barry!?" but, you know what, you would do it too. If you had the choice between taking a risk at being great, wealthy, famous and remembered or being ordinary, a majority of you would take the chance at being condemned in exchange for immortality.

People in this country will root on women who let TV producers marry them off in front of the world, teenagers who get knocked up for a reality show and a couple Us Weekly covers, and greedy bastards who would eat eel shit for money but we won't forgive a man facing years of imprisonment and a lifetime of embarrassment.

Barry Bonds didn't offend us because he broke baseball's rules. He offended us because he broke OUR rules. He played the role of bad guy on HIS terms, not OURS. Much like Terrell Owens or Rasheed Wallace or even Muhammad Ali, Barry Bonds thumbed his nose at the cultivated image we wanted for him. THAT was his crime and it's OUR ego, not his, that puts Bonds in the world of ridicule he has and will continue to find himself in.

We scripted this punishment for Barry Bonds, but who the hell are WE to judge HIM?

Milk Carton All-Star of the Week: Eric Karros

With baseball season opening up a week from today, we figured it would be fitting to have the Milk Carton All-Star of the Week(which has sat in the bullpen the last week or two waiting for the right time to pounce) be a pivotal member of what used to be America's Pastime.

Unfortunately, we couldn't find someone like that, so we gave you this guy:

Eric Karros may be the epitome of the word "underrated". Eight of his first 12 seasons(all with the L.A. Dodgers) saw Karros hit at least 20 home runs, and he hit 30 homers in four of those eight. Granted, this was the Steroid Era, so who knows how legit those stats actually are but it's still pretty impressive for a guy who never made an All-Star Game or finished higher than fifth in the MVP voting(1995).



Karros won the 1992 National League Rookie of the Year, beating out some heavy hitters in Moises Alou and then-Pirate Tim Wakefield. From there, Karros went on to a steady career manning first for the Dodgers. His best season came in 1999 when he blasted 34 homers, drove in 112 runs(one of five seasons in his career with over 100 RBI), hit .304 and even stole 8 bases. However, during a period where there was more notable first basemen like Jeff Bagwell, Fred McGriff, Andres Galaragga and Mark McGwire, Karros flew under the radar. After the 2002 season, with his numbers declining, the Dodgers shipped Karros to the Cubs along with Mark Grudzielanek(a man whom Chris Berman once dubbed "Triple World Score"....one of Berman's few good quips) in exchange for a package involving catcher Todd Hundley. Karros hit 12 homers with 40 RBI in playing in 114 games(his lowest total since '94) in his lone season in Chicago. Not satisfied with being terrible in the National League, Karros went west and signed with the Oakland A's for his first taste of American League baseball. While in Oakland, he played in 40 games, hit a putrid .194 and finished with 2 homers and 11 RBI.



Those still clamoring for some Karros love are in luck this year though. Sony tabbed Karros to be the third man in the booth for this year's version of the award winning MLB: The Show series. Karros replaces Rex Hudler in filling the role of spouting off obvious statements and tossing in the occasional tepid joke. In other words, he's baseball's Jon Gruden. Lucky for people like myself, the option to mute Karros and stick with a two-man booth is readily available.



So, let's give it up for a jack of all trades and master of none, Eric Karros, everybody!

Boom Roasted Sports Hall of Fame Inductee: Nate Dogg

Every respective Hall of Fame should be a representation of the greats that particular brand had to offer. Legends, pioneers, icons.....like how baseball has Babe Ruth or basketball has MJ or Rock N' Roll has The Rolling Stones.

However, lost in the aura of these idols are the little guys who, granted, weren't as great but still carved their niche. For every Michael Jordan, there's a Glen Rice. For every Stones, there's a Foreigner or Boston. For every...well, you get the point.

As "The Little Sports Blog That Could", we figured we should have our own Hall of Fame dedicated to guys who made their mark in the world but didn't leave quite the impact that their more-decorated superstar counterparts did. Underrated guys and gals who deserve recognition for not quite being outstanding but still being pretty damn awesome.....kind of like an "Honorable Mention" Hall of Fame.

You'll get a better grip of what we are trying to achieve as we go along. Each month, we'll dedicate this spot to something noteworthy in pop culture lore(a actor/actress, movie, singer, album, hot chick, athlete, fad, etc.) and they'll get their just due here. Consider it the anti-Milk Carton All-Stars.

Without further ado, here's our first inductee.

Truth be told, when I came up with this idea I was sitting at a friend's house when "Girls All Pause" by Kurupt came on my Pandora and I decided the perfect person to lead off this Hall of Fame concept would be Nate Dogg.

A week later, Nate Dogg died and now this whole concept seems like a tribute. Nate Dogg was the Robert Horry of hip-hop: Not quite a star on his own but a phenomenal addition to any winning team. He latched onto Dr. Dre's camp with Snoop at Death Row and made his mark by carrying Warren G through the classic "Regulate". Before T-Pain was squealing on every half-decent beat on today's rap songs, Nate Dogg was the quintessential "hip hop singer". Most people, as proven by the videos posted on Facebook after his death, mainly know Nate Dogg from "Regulate"(which was a huge rap song in the 90's, running all over MTV and leading to some foolish arguments among my friends of "Warren G is better than Redman" which got squashed REAL quick), but Nate Dogg put down far more amazing choruses than "Regulate". "Area Codes", "Gangsta Nation", "Bitch Please", the aforementioned "Girls All Pause"(my personal favorite), just to name a few.

Beyond that, the guy was SMOOTH....not just his voice complementing the track but just in the way he carried himself. I mean, look at the picture. Who the hell else is pulling off a suit with a bandanna tied around his head with sunglasses on!? Who the hell is can sound cool singing "16 in the clip and one in the hole, Nate Dogg is about to make some bodies turn cold"? You think T-Pain can pull off "Got 10 girls that pay me, just so they can lay me, and when they come see me, I just drop my drawers"? Of course not.

So, while the loss of Biggie and Pac and even Big Pun were more impactful for the hip-hop game, I'm not ashamed to say I miss Nate Dogg as much as any of those guys. I'm sure VH1's Hip Hop Honors will give Nate his just due this year when they do their inductions but we figure we beat those guys to the punch, albeit a couple weeks too late.

MARCH 2011 BOOMROASTEDSPORTS HALL OF FAME INDUCTEE: NATE DOGG

Credentials: "Regulate" ft. Warren G, "Area Codes" ft. Ludacris, "Bitch Please" ft. Xzibit and Snoop Dogg, "Girls All Pause" ft. Kurupt, "Gangsta Nation" ft. Westside Connection, "Before I Collapse" ft. Eminem, among many others.

"It ain't a hit 'til Nate Dogg spit." - Mack 10, "Gangsta Nation".

Pearl to UT - Fire When Ready. Oh, You're Ready.

It was announced today that the University of Tennessee has fired popular head men's basketball coach Bruce Pearl.

Did he deserve it? Probably not.

UT Athletic Director Mike Hamilton's words regarding the firing are "The cumulative effect of the evolution of the investigation combined with a number of more recent non-NCAA-related incidents have led to a belief that this staff cannot be viable at Tennessee in the future."

Now, the investigation refers to the NCAA looking into a cookout Pearl had for some high school juniors. The "recent non-NCAA-related incidents" are, according to ESPN's Andy Katz, a player getting caught violating the substance abuse policy.

I think this "cumulative effect" nonsense is ridiculous. Pearl was suspended earlier this season for the NCAA investigation. One would assume that would be it. He was punished and that should be that. You can't keep punishing the guy for the same incident. But hey, he broke the rules and Tennessee is well within their rights to let him go, they're just wrong to do so.

Is Pearl's off-court judgement suspect? Sure. This cookout is just one example. His "I've got guys from Chicago, Detroit...I'm talking about the 'hood! And I've got guys from Grainger County, where they wear the hood," joke is another example.

Are these offenses fire-able? They shouldn't be, because here is something else Bruce Pearl was - the single greatest basketball coach Tennessee men's basketball has ever seen. Except for Kentucky, SEC basketball was a wasteland until Pearl came to UT and Billy Donovan started making noise at Florida. Pearl led the Vols to a no. 1 ranking in 2008 and to the Elite Eight last year, places they never really sniffed until his tenure. In a previous job he led UW-Milwaukee to the Sweet Sixteen. The man can flat out coach.

He'll have no trouble landing a new job. Indiscretions aside, he is a great recruiter, amazing in the community, a terrific interview, and a fun passionate guy. (Remember the orange body paint to support Pat Summit and Lady Vols?) Most importantly, he puts asses in the seats. Fans love him and love his teams. I'd love to see Pearl go to Harrisonburg and coach my JMU Dukes, but that will never happen.

What would I do if I were him? Give his collection of orange ties to Digger Phelps, give his collection of orange jackets to Craig Sager, sit on the fat payout UT is giving him, do a little TV work, and in a year take a job elsewhere in the SEC, just to fuck with the Vols.

Dumb Honest Question of the Week: Who's #1?

Lost in all of the hoopla over the NFL lockout is the fact that the NFL Draft is just over a month away. Unlike most years, the lack of a true blue alpha dog at the top gives us a bit of uncertainty as to who will be taken by the Carolina Panthers with the #1 overall pick.

This is an issue that me and my buddy Carlos have been going back and forth on. After months of vitriol towards Auburn's Heisman-winning QB Cam Newton, Carlos switched sides pretty much directly after the Combine and has given Cam a vigorous co-sign as the Panthers' franchise QB. I, on the other hand, think the Panthers are better served to look outside the QB position, snatch up one of the Draft's better prospects(I'm high on Georgia WR A.J. Green, personally), given current incumbent Jimmy Clausen another year and then go all in for Andrew Luck next year if Clausen tanks yet again. The debate between me and Carlos has raged for weeks and I finally decided to say "Screw it!" and manifest this topic into a more public forum.

So, in the triumphant return of the "Dumb Honest Question of the Week", I ask, whole-heartedly, do the Carolina Panthers NEED to take a QB with the first overall pick?

Now, my answer is no. For one, as bad as Clausen was last year as the Panthers QB (3 TDs, 9 INTs, 1,558 yards, 58.4 QB rating in 11 starts), keep in mind that you're closing the book on a 23-year old kid who has 11 starts to his name on a team that was battered, beat up and mailing it in by midseason. I'm not saying Jimmy Clausen is the second coming of Joe Montana, but we've seen teams give up on young QBs early for what they believed to be better alternatives only for the departed youngster to go on to bigger things. It happened in 2004 when the arrival of Phillip Rivers as the Chargers' first round pick lit a fire under the ass of Drew Brees(Granted, the move worked out for both men. Brees went on to win a Super Bowl lighting it up in New Orleans while Rivers has been a Pro Bowl QB in San Diego. Still, you wonder what would have happened had San Diego opted for, say, Pittsburgh WR Larry Fitzgerald and held on to Brees. Would we be thinking of the Chargers differently if they had spent the last half decade with a foursome of Brees-L.T.-Fitzgerald-Antonio Gates? I guess we'll never know.). A couple years ago, the Bears swapped Kyle Orton for what they believed to be an upgrade in Jay Cutler. Orton went on to be a solid QB in Denver while Cutler has been shaky to say the least.

What's the risk of giving Clausen one more year and, if you're going to give up on Clausen, why not replace him with a veteran rather than roll the dice on yet another inexperienced rookie QB? Both Newton and Blaine Gabbert are better options, on paper, than Clausen but are they head and shoulders better? I don't think so. Bengals QB Carson Palmer, who is desperately seeking a way out of Cincinatti, is a big upgrade over Clausen. Yes, he's 31, coming off a terrible season and is owed $10 million for 2011 but he's a veteran whose best years aren't THAT far behind him(2005 and 2006 being his best seasons). How about Kevin Kolb? Now, word on the street is the Eagles have found a team willing to give up a first(supposedly Arizona) for Kolb's services. If that's the case, it may be worth it to pass on the 26-year old Eagles backup because the first overall pick is a bit much for a guy with a less-than-stellar track record. If the price comes down though, Kolb would be a great fit. Another cheap option: Packers backup Matt Flynn. Even as a Packers fan, I worry that Flynn is nothing more than this generation's Jay Fiedler but he played admirable in his only start of his career and he'll come at a much lower price than Palmer or Kolb or Newton and Gabbert. He could be a decent starter. If nothing else, he can give Clausen work until next year when the Panthers will be in the running for Andrew Luck.

By tabbing a veteran at QB, the Panthers can shift focus to another one of their many needs. A.J. Green has been considered by some to be the best WR prospect since Fitzgerald and has already drawn Randy Moss/Andre Johnson comparisons. You pair him with Steve Smith and newly acquired TE Jeremy Shockey to go with the backfield of Jonathan Stewart and Mike Goodson and your offense is improved significantly.

On the other side of the ball, there are a bunch of other highly-touted prospects. Clemson DE Da'Quan Bowers is big, athletic defensive end. The kind of beast the Panthers had when they had a similar-sized freak in Julius Peppers. In a division with pass-happy teams like New Orleans and Atlanta, a pass rusher the caliber of Bowers would pay dividends for the Panthers. At a position where talent is a bit more rare to find, there's defensive tackles Marcell Dareus of Alabama and Auburn's Nick Fairley. Dareus outplayed Fairley(considered the top DT in the draft going into the Combine) at the NFL Combine but Fairley bounced back with an impressive pro day. Both can be disruptive forces on the interior(as Fairley proved in the National Championship) and both significantly upgrade a position that hasn't had something close to adequate since Kris Jenkins was traded. Now, all three defensive standouts come with their red flags. Bowers has been battling an injury with his knee that required surgery in January. Fairley has had issues with his weight and some concerns over his character and Dareus has had some character issues as well. All three men also have the stigma of being one-year wonders, but the same can be said for Newton and Gabbert.

That brings me back to Carlos' case. According to Carlos, Cam Newton has the size, speed, athletic ability and, most importantly, leadership ability to be a difference maker for Carolina. Carlos believes there isn't a QB in the draft or available in trade that he'd take over Cam Newton(Editor's note: When I texted Carlos to clarify his stance, he softened a little saying he would consider trading a 3rd for Kolb but that's it). If the Panthers were to go QB, I would prefer they go Newton over Gabbert even with Newton not looking the sharpest in throwing drills at the Combine(The fact that he was willing to participate in those drills knowing what he may lose if he failed is something that earned him props from both me and Carlos, especially since Gabbert waited til his Pro Day to show off his arm) for the exact same reasons as Carlos. I think Newton will be a fine QB if given time to sit and learn(preferably from a vet) before jumping into being a starter. Newton doesn't have much experience with a pro-style offense(or really being a starter, for that much) and it's a lot of pressure to thrust a young guy in there and tell him to save a franchise. Yes, it worked for Sam Bradford and Matt Ryan. It also didn't work for Ryan Leaf, Akili Smith, Cade McNown, Matt Leinart and David Carr. The same holds true for Gabbert, who played in a spread offense at Missouri for two years. The scouts are high on Gabbert and he's certianly in the running to bypass Newton as the Panthers' pick, but there's just something I don't like about him(He did only have 16 TDs last season with the Tigers and his bowl game against Iowa wasn't the greatest either). It's just a hunch. Granted, it's the same hunch that thought Ryan and Bradford would flop and Joey Harrington would flourish but whatever.

So, in conclusion, my strategy is I were running the Panthers next month would be this: Take A.J. Green with the #1 overall pick. Yes, it's unconventional and the four-game suspension to start off his final season at Georgia was a bit of a red flag but the guy has all the makings of being a star in this league(I like Green over Bowers or Fairley or Dareus just slightly. Though I think all four are better prospects than Newton. Still, I would rank Newton 6th, behind these four and LSU CB Patrick Patterson). After you draft Green, get Clausen some veteran competition. Marc Bulger wants another crack at starting. Tarvaris Jackson or Dennis Dixon could be interesting(both free agents) or you could take a flier on Palmer or Flynn(Kolb is probably out of the running if the Cardinals are willing to give up the 5th pick in the draft for him). You could try trading back and getting back that second round pick you gave away to New England last year but that might be farfetched. You go into next season(if there is one) with a healthy offensive line, a two-pronged running attack and some solid weapons for whoever is behind center. Yes, defense wins championships but this team is years away from that(especially in that division). If all else fails, you're right back on top of the draft next year and you get Andrew Luck. Newton and Gabbert are good QB prospects. They don't get this team out of picking in the Top 10 next year or probably even 2013. Clausen is worth another year at starter and, while Newton and Gabbert are upgrades, they aren't big enough upgrades to bypass the other value you can get at this spot or blowing the chance at taking your QB too early when you're probably picking high again next year.

Cut His Mic Off: Adrian Peterson

"It's modern day slavery, you know? People kind of laugh at that, but there are people working at regular jobs who get treated the same way, too."

-- Minnesota Vikings All-Pro running back Adrian Peterson

Maybe I'm not the one best suited to weigh in on why comparing labor negotiations to slavery is a bit offensive, but it seems apparent somebody needs a history lesson. Any time you mix emotion with a live recorder, you're going to get someone saying something ill-advised like AP did in this interview with Yahoo! Sports. We've seen it with Dwayne Wade and his Heat losing streak/9-11 comparison. We even saw it a few years back when Floyd Mayweather Jr. called the $12.5 million contract he was being offered by HBO a "slave contract".

Let's all agree that Adrian Peterson's "modern-day slavery" comment was foolish to avoid someone like myself, a white man who got all his slavery era info from his History textbooks, the awkwardness of being outraged over a black man making slavery comparisons. My issue with AP's comments are two-fold: One, why are you even making stupid comments in the first place? The NFLPA and the owners are in the midst of trying to repair the CBA so that your happy ass can have a job this fall. Why say anything that might force rich old farts to be even more spiteful? Let DeMaurice Smith do the talking. That's why you hired the man. You want to make a few cliche comments here and there, fine, but why say something this fucking stupid in an era where reporters are looking for stupid fucking comments to sell papers or generate clicks on their blogs(sort of like what I'm doing)? I understand you're worried there might not be football this season and these negotiations are frustrating but don't think that the American public should feel sorry for you.

That's where my second issue lies with AP's comments. He claims normal people are getting mistreated working every day at their regular jobs. That very well may be true(though whether it's comparable to slavery is not my place to say). However, Adrian Peterson doesn't work a normal job. Maybe his family or friends of his do, but he certainly doesn't live the life of Joe Public. Adrian Peterson will make $10.2 million to work four months of the year if there's football in 2011. Do you think he'd like to switch places with, let's say, me and trade his salary and schedule for my 12 bucks an hour and work year-round....you know, since he relates so much to the everyman? Fans are already upset that America's favorite sport may be cancelled this year because of greed by both the players and the owners. They definitely don't want to hear, in a recession no less, about overpaid athletes bitching about being mistreated. The guy having to work 60 hours a week at Arby's to make ends meet is probably getting mistreated. Adrian Peterson isn't getting mistreated. He and the other players may be entitled to more of the pie given the work they put in, but they are hardly digging in the couch for quarters to buy a pizza for dinner.

Don't try to play it off like your situation is similar to that of every day working folks, Adrian. You're not working this year because billionaires and millionaires can't find an applicable way to divide up $9 billion. Others are unemployed because we are in the midst of one of the worst economic downturns in decades(even if things are slightly better than they were a few years ago). You don't scoff at $4 a gallon for gas the way we do. We appreciate your concern for us "normal people" but I'm afraid the tax bracket you currently find yourself in makes you a tad bit ill-equipped to be someone worthy of OUR sympathy.

Sometime this spring, player reps and owners will sit down, man the fuck up, and agree to a deal that will put football back in the lives of the "normal people", but until that day comes, Mr. Peterson, consider your mic cut off!

A Lesson Before Crying

Lakers coach Phil Jackson, as he tends to do whenever there's a mic in front of him and a topic where he can unleash one of his witty quips, weighed in a couple days ago on the story that been more blown out of proportion than Christina Aguilera's waistline: The Miami Heat allegedly crying after blowing yet another lead in their loss to the Bulls.

Gabe weighed in on this earlier in the week and I realize I'm late to the dance on this one and that's mainly because this story is a non-issue. First of all, like Gabe said in his piece, what possible benefit does Heat coach Eric Spoelstra think he's getting by telling the media his boys are in the locker room crying like a bunch of ninnies? This guy is already on his last legs in Miami(regardless of what Pat Riley says, Coach Spo has looked overmatched in dealing with the big names on his roster. Those beady eyes bulge for a reason, Riles. The man's at his zenith), so what does throwing his team under the bus do for him or his squad? Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, I'll believe players on the Heat are crying when I see tears with my own two eyes. I don't know why Spolestra would lie about something like this but I also don't know why he would even bring it up in the first place.

I've SEEN Terrell Owens cry like a baby in defending Tony Romo after another big Cowboys playoff loss. I've SEEN Adam Morrison get watery-eyed after Gonzaga's loss in the NCAA Tournament. Hell, I've even SEEN The Zen Master's boy Kobe Bryant cry for his wife's forgiveness after he paid his way out of those rape charges(On top of that, Phil's golden boy Michael Jordan cried after winning the NBA Championship). Yes, all of those were after games of significantly more circumstance than a pithy regular season game in March, but the point is people cry.
We get too caught up in the archaic vision of how we want our athletes to be. We want them to be grizzled manly men who find crying beneath them and spend their days as warriors battling out on the gridiron or the baseball diamond or the hardwood. The irony of that is that we follow these guys on Twitter or watch their reality shows because we want to see if they are normal human beings just like us. It's ok if LeBron goes on to carry the Heat to the NBA Championship this year, but if he cries during Sex and the City, well, then, he's a pussy. Athletes are human beings with abnormal human talents. Chris Bosh is a basketball player. He's not King Leonidas. If athletes possessed the gene to be without emotion or unable to feel sadness, they'd be politicians.

Back to Jackson for a second, Dr. Phil made headlines by saying the NBA was "No Boys Allowed" and said "Big boys don't cry, but if you're going to do it, do it in the toilet where no one can see you." One, nobody actually saw the Heat cry beyond a coach who must have been outside of his mind diming out his boys to the media like that. Two, since when does a hippie who spends his free time in the offseason dressing like Morgan Freeman in "Bruce Almighty" and contorting his body into "Downward Facing Dog" get to make fun of others being soft? Since when has Phil Jackson been the authority on manliness? This is the same guy who tried to mediate the Shaq and Kobe beef by talking it out and then shit his pants when he couldn't get both sides to align peacefully. Look, I'm not taking anything away from Phil Jackson. He's a great coach and has done great things with some supersized egos, but perhaps he should pass occassionally on the chance to offer up a sound byte....especially after his Lakers have now been swept by those wimpy deers in Miami.

This is a new age of athlete. Gone are days of Dick Butkus and Charles Oakley where are athletes never let anyone see them as anything other than captain of industry alpha males. Athletes in 2011 cry, make witty comments on social media outlets, milk injuries like a dairy farmer, praise God excessively and generally act like....wait for it.....human beings. I'd rather my athletes cry after a loss than chuckle on the sidelines like Derek Anderson on Monday Night Football. Every man on the face of this planet has let a tear loose. That doesn't make you less of a man. If I walk by Mike Tyson sobbing in a pet store in SoHo, I'm not going to walk up to him and say "Stop being a bitch, Mike!".

Ever since "The Decision", the Miami Heat have become the most compelling story in the NBA since Michael Jordan retired. Every game has overly critiqued. Every dirty look overanalyzed. Every dribble and shot beaten into the ground. For a week, we have wasted our time and energy on a story about athletes crying without one single photo of one single tear. That, not some bullshit overblown headline, is what really should make us all weep.

There May Be No Crying in Baseball, But.....

Perhaps there's crying in basketball.

Who knows if there were Heat players actually crying in the locker room after their loss to the Bulls on Sunday, but their coach, Erik Spoelstra, felt compelled to tell the media that "there are a couple of guys crying in the locker room right now."

I see this two ways. Either:

- Heat players were actually crying following this game and their coach thought it was a good idea to tell the media, or

- Heat players weren't actually crying following this game and their coach thought it was a good idea to tell the media.


If the Heat players were crying after a loss in March they are more fragile emotionally than an average high school football team.


I know.


I was on an average high school football team.


And I did cry after a game.


Once.


But it was a playoff game, so the loss ended our season.


And it was against a team we had beaten earlier in the year.


And I was 16 years old.

A professional athlete shouldn't be crying after a regular season loss that occurs two-thirds of the way through the season. You lose game seven of the World Series? I can see crying. You miss a field goal when your team is down one with four seconds to go in the Super Bowl, let the floodgates open.

Regarding the second situation, the coach saying his players are crying. I don't understand the motivation. What is he trying to prove? Whether they were actually crying or not, he shouldn't say that to the media. His players need to appear tough. The last thing he needs is other players thinking his team is soft.

Reports are saying that Carmelo Anthony and Amare Stoudemire of the Knicks were laughing when they heard Spoelstra's comments. And they should laugh, because Spoelstra is a joke. He doesn't know how to command respect. He is not respected by his players for either his coaching skills, or his ability to talk to the media, or his leadership, or his play calling......

So here is my prediction -
Spoelstra gets fired. Pat Riley comes down from on high, handles the egos, doesn't talk about his players crying, gains respect from the team, and then loses to Orlando in Eastern Conference Finals.

Milk Carton All-Star of the Week: Mike Mamula

The 2011 NFL Combine wrapped up its proceedings a couple days ago, with a couple people putting on a clinic(Alabama's Julio Jones, Texas A&M linebacker Von Miller) and a couple doing their best Fergie impression and winding up tripping....stumbling....Anyway, guys who rise at the Combine and go from zero to hero seemingly overnight seem to bring up the name of a cautionary tale of taking a guy based solely on an impressive workout. This week, we re-hash that man's story for the Milk Carton All-Star of the Week.

.

Mike Mamula was a linebacker for the better half of his college career at Boston College. After redshirting his first year and missing the second to injury, he exploded onto the scene at linebacker as junior, racking up 84 tackles and 11 sacks in BC's 3-4 defense. For his senior season, BC moved to the then-more-conventional 4-3 defense and stuck Mamula at defensive end. That didn't stop him from tallying 73 tackles and 17 sacks(four of them against Kansas State in the Aloha Bowl). Mamula followed up that impressive senior season by absolutely dominating the 1995 NFL Combine. He managed 26 reps of the bench press(225lbs), outdoing All-World offensive tackle Tony Boselli. He ran a 4.58 in the 40, which would even be impressive now in 2011 and was jaw-dropping back in the 90's when defensive ends ran like elephants. Mamula added a 49 out of 50 on his Wonderlic to top things off.

.

That performance caught the eye of the Philadelphia Eagles. Needing a defensive end after having watched Reggie White jump to Green Bay a couple years prior, the Eagles traded their first round pick(12th overall) and two second-rounders to Tampa Bay to move up five spots to select Mamula. The guy the Bucs ended up with at #12? Some defensive tackle out of "The U" named Warren Sapp. Perhaps you've heard of him. Other guys Philly passed up on by taking Mamula: Ty Law, Derrick Brooks(also taken by Tampa that same year, after a trade with Dallas), Hugh Douglas(who would end up being bigger star in Philly, after a few years with the Jets, than Mamula ever was) and the late Korey Stringer. Mamula only made it five years in the NFL, notching 31.5 sacks in a career derailed by injuries and ineffectiveness. His best season was in 1999, where he had 8.5 sacks and a pick-6 of Kurt Warner in the final game of the season.

.

Sapp, meanwhile, finished his career with 96.5 sacks, a Super Bowl ring, 7 Pro Bowls and won the Defensive Player of the Year the same year that Mamula had his "breakout season". He's also a sure-fire Hall of Famer and regarded as the best defensive tackle of the last two decades. Oops. Lucky for Mamula, modern day fans now have Vernon Gholston to put the "workout warrior" stigma on. Gholston, like Mamula, put on a show at the 2008 Combine, notching 37 reps in the bench press and running a 4.58 40 as well. The Jets took Gholston with the 6th overall pick hoping to have grabbed the Gang Green version of Lawrence Taylor. Instead, they got a physical freak who couldn't get to the quarterback if he had a GPS and couldn't bring him down with a lasso. In three seasons, Gholston ratcheted up 38 tackles and 0...count 'em...ZERO....sacks. A couple days ago, the Jets decided to cut ties with its big-time bust after just three years.

.

So, let's give a round of applause for the NFL Draft's cautionary whale.....Mike Mamula, everybody!

The Other Guys

The NBA trade deadline has been over for a few days now and, over the last couple of weeks, we've seen the end of the Carmelo Anthony fiasco as well as the surprising trade of All-Star point guard Deron Williams from Utah to New Jersey.

Both of those trades set the table for what is going to be another free agency circus come the summer of 2012. With Carmelo signed, sealed and delivered to New York, his name gets crossed off the list as one of the key players of next summer(although his presence as a Knick does have a dramatic effect on next summer), and instead puts the spotlight on a couple of other guys who will be coveted over the next 18 months, be it through trade or free agency. Let's take a look at those men in question.

Dwight Howard(Center, Orlando Magic, free agent after next season)

Credentials: (25 years old, 2004 #1 overall pick, 2-time Defensive Player of the Year, 5-time All-Star, 3-time All-NBA First team, led the Magic to the 2009 NBA Finals)

Where He Should Go: Washington Wizards - I was dead-set on Doomsday re-signing with Orlando before a coupe things occurred to me to change my mind:

1. My friend Carlos texted me gushing about the cap room the Wiz will have after buying out Mike Bibby, exchanging the horrendous Gilbert Arenas contract for the equally horrendous-yet-shorter Rashard Lewis contract, as well as the cost-cutting they did in deals to ship Antawn Jamison and Caron Butler last year.

2. The idea of a gentle giant like Howard subjecting himself to more years of Stan Van Gundy screaming in his ear to no avail. This Magic team has some talent on it but most of it is high-priced and overrated(see the aforementioned Arenas contract). Can you really see Howard convincing himself that he can win a championship with guys like Jason Richardson and Gilbert Arenas as his #'s 2 and 3? The acquisition of Agent Zero puts the Magic in cap hell because there aren't too many teams stupid enough to take on that contract a third time. Thus, Howard will be stuck trying to push knuckleheads like Arenas to play to a championship level while his face endures gallons of SVG's spit flying at it on a nightly basis. That sounds unappealing to me.

If Derrick Rose can be the leader in the clubhouse for an MVP in his third year and emerge as the best player on a scary Bulls team, what can we expect to see from John Wall(considered a bigger, stronger, possibly faster version of Rose) when he finally gets adjusted to the pros in a couple years? Beyond the bright future of Wall, the Wizards also have Jordan Crawford(an athletic guard who is probably best suited as a 6th man type but was still an absolute steal considering Washington only gave up Kirk Hinrich's rotting carcass to get him), a potential high lottery pick(Both Carlos and I are hitching our wagons to the hope that its Ohio State big man Jared Sullinger), and what's left of Lewis. Isn't a Howard-Wall-Sullinger-Crawford-Lewis nucleus much more formidable than Howard's current band of misfits? Rose was always going to be a star, but Chicago surrounding him with guys like Joakim Noah and Carlos Boozer took him to another level. This could be that same blueprint but a later model. The one thing all these proposed Big Threes(Miami, Boston, New York) lack is the ability to stop a game-changing point guard and a dominant big man......Howard and Wall together fit both of those requirements.

Where He WILL Go: Los Angeles Lakers - My retort to Carlos in his campaign to bring D-12 to the nation's capital is that Howard following Shaq's path and going from Orlando to the Lakers makes more sense. Truth be told, it does. With all of the West's best young stars traveling to the East, the talent pool has been diminished on the Left Coast. On top of that, when have the Lakers ever NOT gotten what they've wanted when they've set their sights on someone. They probably could have had 'Melo if they were more aggressive and, in the last decade and a half, they've managed to reel in guys like Shaq, Lamar Odom, Ron Artest, and Pau Gasol. Howard's build and charisma makes him a natural fit as "The New Shaq Diesel" in Laker Land. The Lakers have been dying to move Andrew Bynum and you have to think, if Orlando was stupid enough to take on Gilbert, they're probably dumb enough to agree to take back Bynum and his Joe Namath knees when they realize that the alternative is Howard leaving and the Magic ending up with nothing(much like they did with Shaq).

Do I WANT to see Howard in L.A.? Of course not, but Howard's situation now mirrors that of LeBron James' in the final years in Cleveland. After going to the Finals early in his career and being left with a bitter taste, James(like Howard) kept getting thwarted in his attempt to win a ring because of an inferior supporting cast and, more and more, James realized that there was nobody else in that locker room who can help him shoulder the load. James inevitably left Cleveland to team up with Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh in Miami and Howard will eventually realize the same thing and tag team with what's left of Kobe Bryant and re-form the Twin Towers with Pau Gasol in Los Angeles.

Steve Nash(Point Guard, Phoenix Suns, free agent after next season)

Credentials: (37 years old, 2-time NBA MVP, 7-time All-Star, 3-time All-NBA First Team)

Where he SHOULD go: New York Knicks - The window for Nash to even make a run at an NBA title(let alone win one) is becoming razor thin because of his advanced age and the fact that the Suns seem to be all too willing to tear the team around him apart piece by piece. Obviously, Nash would be no use to New York in 2012 where he'll be pushing 39. So, Nash is going to have to go out of character and demand his freedom from the Phoenix prison he finds himself in. The Knicks don't have much to offer after giving up quite a bit for 'Melo but the price tag for Nash won't be anywhere near the price of, say, a Chris Paul if New York wants it's point guard a year early. The Suns owe it to Nash to allow him to jump ship and not haggle over minor details. The Suns could get back a package of Chauncey Billups(eventhough Phoenix already has Nash's heir apparent in the recently acquired Aaron Brooks) and perhaps Landry Fields. That may irritate some Knicks fans, who already think they gave up a king's ransom for Anthony. Still, no point guard runs D'Antoni's offense better than Nash and a fringe starter like Fields is worth sacrificing for a former 2-time MVP reuniting with the coach that made him a Hall of Famer and who will be playing with an enormous chip on his shoulder.

Where he WILL go: Phoenix Suns - Phoenix knows that Nash's floppy hair and playmaking acumen is what puts asses in seats and they aren't going to deal him unless Nash forces their hand. It would be out of Nash's character to demand out eventhough it would be in his best interest. So, my gut tells me he plays out the next season and a half with the team that initially drafted him and then rides off into the sunset as the greatest player of this era to never see the NBA Finals.

Now, if Aaron Brooks gives the team hope early on that he could be their guy, maybe Phoenix moves Nash in an effort to get something to build the team around Brooks. Regardless, Nash needs to ask for a way out of Phoenix. Unfortunately, I don't think he has that in him.

Chris Paul(point guard, New Orleans Hornets)

Credentials: (25 years old, 2006 NBA Rookie of the Year, 4-time NBA All-Star, All-NBA 1st team in 2008, All-Defensive team in 2009)

Where he SHOULD go: Oklahoma City Thunder - As a longtime Hornets fan, it's tough to write about the latest great Hornets star spending his prime somewhere else but, more and more, this is looking like a reality. Why would CP3 stay in New Orleans at this point when New York, L.A., and other contenders will be coming at him hard next summer? The Hornets are owned by the league right now, half of the owners want them contracted, and there's no signs that this team can be a contender anytime soon even after the promising start this year.

So, why OKC when they already have Russell Westbrook? Well, this is more a personal preference than a logical decision. If Paul scoots to New York after next summer, it's the end of basketball in New Orleans. There'll be no way to replace him and there's nobody else on the roster that would compel someone to buy a ticket. However, if the Hornets agree to trade with Oklahoma City and get back, say, Westbrook, Cole Aldrich and Thabo Sefolosha, then the Hornets can avoid contraction and the Thunder would have upgraded at the point guard position and moved themselves up another notch in the West. With so many teams in the West aging rapidly, the Thunder are poised to be the young kings of the conference. Yes, they can probably make a Finals run this season with this group(I even picked them to win the NBA championship this year back in October. Thunder over Bulls in 6. Check Twitter. It happened.). However, Paul can't help but see Nash and wonder if he's heading in that direction. He's the best point guard in the league and he's fading away on a team too cheap to build a legit contender around him. The Hornets peaked as a 2 seed in the West a couple years ago. By going to Oklahoma City, he teams up with Kevin Durant and the Thunder a 1-2 punch that will be incomparable in the West(unless another big name goes to the Lakers). Paul-Durant-Harden-Perkins-Ibaka......that's a superior starting five in what will probably be a weaker conference by 2012 than if Paul were to become a part of the Anthony-Amare Knicks next summer. Yes, it's not a major market, but not everyone is enthralled by that. Durant chose to stay in Oklahoma. Paul's been relatively content in New Orleans. It sounds far-fetched but, if Paul really wants to go to a team on the rise that will contend for numerous titles, he'll bring his lightning-fast speed to the Thunder.

Where he WILL go: New York Knicks - Playing point guard in a Mike D'Antoni offense on a team with two of the top 15 guys in the NBA just seems like too appealing of a job for a young, title-hungry point guard. There's a small chance that Paul likes what he sees in New Orleans, the Hornets get new owners, and CP3 convinces them that they are one big player away from owning the West(which they very well may be if Paul and Emeka Okafor stay healthy). I just can't see Paul not looking at what he can do with 'Melo and Amare for the next six or seven years in a Eastern Conference that may also be up for grabs and turns that down to stay on a sinking ship in N.O.. The best case scenario for the Knicks is they get the Steve Nash rental until 2012, Nash makes the job mouth-watering to his successor(either Paul or Deron Williams), and they sign one of the two big PG free agents in the summer.

With Paul on the East coast, we get another half decade of Paul vs Rondo, Paul vs. D-Rose, Paul vs. John Wall, and Paul vs Deron Williams for more than two games a year. He'll bring solid defense to a Knicks team that doesn't have very much and, with his speed, scoring ability, and creativity, he'll run the point in Mike D's offense better than Nash ever did. In the process, I will be renouncing my 15 year run as a Hornets fan and start shopping for Knicks jerseys. Sorry, after Larry Johnson, Alonzo Mourning, Glen Rice, Eddie Jones, Anthony Mason, Kobe Bryant, and Baron Davis, I think drawing the line at a Chris Paul departure is understandable.

Deron Williams(Point Guard, New Jersey Nets)

Credentials: (26 years old, 2-time NBA All-Star)

Where he SHOULD go: Indiana Pacers - Leaving New Jersey would make Deron Williams the most despised man in Newark since Sharpe James, but you can't blame a guy for not being all too thrilled with being the best player on a team that's currently 17-43 and has nothing even close to a star to play second fiddle. The Pacers aren't much to get excited about either and, by passing up a move to Brooklyn for Hoosierville, Williams won't have the same endorsement opportunities that would be there if he still was "The Man" in Newark/Brooklyn. In Indiana, the Pacers have one of the game's best young forwards in Danny Granger, one of the most underrated big men in Roy Hibbert and a couple of potential solid role players in former NCAA Player of the Year Tyler Hansborough and last year's lottery pick Paul George. Point guard has been a spot Indiana has had a void in since Mark Jackson left. With Williams, the Pacers have a better shot of contending than Williams ever would have in New Jersey. Obviously, Williams would rather be a Knick, but that job seems like it's Chris Paul's to lose.

Where he WILL go: New Jersey/Brooklyn Nets - Williams' conundrum is he finds himself on a team going nowhere and a year away from free agency where he will pretty much be the consolation prize for whoever can't land Chris Paul. On top of that, there aren't many teams that are legit contenders that have the money to give Williams the deal he'd want. Maybe L.A. can do some fancy maneuvering and trade off some of their parts to bring in Dwight Howard and Williams to team with Kobe? Maybe Williams can break the Clipper curse and unite with Blake Griffin and make a run with L.A.'s other team? Maybe he replaces Paul in New Orleans, if there's still a team left? Maybe the Mavs give up on Rod Beaubois and tab Williams as Jason Kidd's heir apparent? Maybe he ties his luck in Houston or the aforementioned Pacers? Williams' hands are tied because he'll be available at a time where a couple of other good point guards are available and he'll be competing with them for a small amount of open slots.

Staying in New Jersey may not offer much in contender column, but it offers D-Will the chance to stroll into a new arena in Brooklyn as "The Man". He might be the face of horrible franchise, but after years of playing in John Stockton's shadow as Carlos Boozer's sidekick, he could go to New York with a chip on his shoulder and compete for the title of "Best Point Guard" in New York with his best friend and possible cross-town rival in Chris Paul. Who knows? Maybe Williams' presence brings in another big name and it's the Knicks, and not the Nets this time, that become the little brother in the Big Apple.