Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Pressing Luck

With his 18-of-23, 287 yard, 4 TD performance against Virginia Tech in Monday night's Orange Bowl, Heisman runner-up/inevitable #1 overall pick/all-around goofy bastard Andrew Luck made the statement we all expected him to make.

Now, it's time for him to make the other statement we expect him to make. That statement, of course, is that Luck is going to throw his name in the hat for this year's NFL Draft. Forget about taking a shot at the Heisman next year, Andrew. Forget about chasing a national championship. Forget about a potential NFL lockout. Your time has come, young man. Go join the big boys.Luck's dominance of the Hokies was, as my friend Carlos put it, like watching Peyton Manning play against high school kids. Luck has all the tools to be "The Next Big Thing" in the NFL. Another year of dominating the Pac-10 is going to nothing to change that. ESPN draft expert and Mel Kiper wannabe Todd McShay has said Luck's the best QB prospect he's scouted in nearly a decade. Former Super Bowl winning QB-turned-ESPN analyst Trent Dilfer says he sees no flaws in Luck's repertoire. Jon Gruden, in a season that has seen him slurp more QBs than a Jets masseuse, nearly flooded the booth last night drooling over every Luck throw. Luck tried to play it coy in his post-game speeches, saying the typical "We'll see" and "I haven't made up my mind yet" cliches that a kid who doesn't want to let down his classmates would say. If Luck is as smart as his Stanford education would suggest, this should be a no-brainer.





After all, why would Luck stay? For a national championship? Chris Leak has one of those and, chances are, he'll be selling you your Big Mac when you visit Florida during your clashes with Tampa Bay. Besides, is Stanford a lock to make the BCS title game next year? Doubtful. Maybe Luck wants to end his career with a Heisman? If 2010 has taught us anything, it's that the Heisman is as good at measuring pro success as "Dancing With The Stars" is at finding the next Fred Astaire. Matt Leinart has a Heisman trophy....and he couldn't beat Derek Anderson out for a starting job. Ron Dayne has a Heisman trophy....and he couldn't pay a team to sign him. You know who doesn't have a Heisman trophy? Tom Brady. Lucky for him, there's no room for it on his trophy case because he needs a spot for the 2nd MVP he's about to win to go along with potentially his fourth Super Bowl ring. History has not been kind to quarterbacks who try to get cute and get too enamored with college life. It didn't work for Leinart, who lost millions by going from sure-shot #1 overall pick to barely missing the Top 10 by not declaring after his sensational junior year. It didn't help Brian Brohm either, who went from first round pick to a guy who just barely got drafted in Round 2(and that was only to serve as Aaron Rodgers' backup in Green Bay).

One guy who is not staying at Stanford is head coach Jim Harbaugh. Harbaugh's the hottest coaching prospect out there right now and there's just no way he's going to be able to resist NFL owners throwing buckets of cash at him like the chicks on "Flavor of Love" throw the seasoned coochie at Flavor Flav. Luck pretty much said his fate is intertwined with Harbaugh's, which means the Carolina Panthers(owners of the #1 overall pick and one of a few teams with a coaching vacancy) need to back up the Brinks truck at Harbaugh's house and hope that, by hiring him to run the team, Luck will then be convinced to leave the Cardinal as well. Adding Luck and Harbaugh to the mix does more for the Panthers in terms of turning around their fortunes than adding Matt Ryan did in turning around the Atlanta Falcons. For one, Luck will be joining a team with a solid three-headed monster in the backfield in the form of running backs DeAngelo Williams, Jonathan Stewart and Mike Goodson. He'll have be throwing behind an above average offensive line led by tackles Jordan Gross and Jeff Otah and he'll be connecting on deep bombs to Steve Smith, who may be aging and in decline but is still one of the 15 best wideouts in the game. That's better than waiting a year and becoming the face of the Oakland Raiders, right, Andrew? On top of being the missing piece of a ready-made offense, Luck's arrival to Carolina gives us 10 years of potentially amazing Luck vs. Ryan/ Luck vs. Josh Freeman/ Luck vs. Drew Brees showdowns. After being forced to watch Rams-Seahawks in primetime this past Sunday, that alone should be worth starting the campaign for Luck to declare.


School's out, Andrew. You have nothing left to prove to the Lee Corsos and Kirk Herbstraits of the world. Why risk blowing out a knee or tearing a bicep by spending another year skewering the Oregon States of the world? If you're every bit as good as supposed "experts" like Gruden say you are, the time is now to strike while the iron is hot. You can be the next Matt Ryan or the next Matt Leinart.

The choice is yours.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Week 17 Picks

Week 16 offered up some good news and bad news for "The Big Margharita". The good news is I had a solid week, led by yet another Thursday night W, and finished a game better than "El Pollo Loco". The bad news is that Gabe pretty much locked down the regular season picks crown unless, by some miracle, he goes oppo on every pick this week and loses 11 games. Meanwhile, I pretty much need a Kano-style flawless victory to go above .500, while Gabe needs to do no worse than his 8-8 last week to finish in the black. Here's our picks for the final week of the NFL regular season.



Last Week



Dave: 9-7

Gabe: 8-8



Season



Dave: 98-118-6

Gabe: 108-108-6


(Editor's Note: Gabe was away for the weekend, so he never got his picks in. While I'd love to be a greedy prick and give him the L for all 16 games and crown myself champion, I will choose to just not count Week 17 and defer the regular season to him. Anyway, so that we didn't go completely blank for the regular season finale, here's MY picks).

Raiders (+3.5) at Chiefs



Dave: Chiefs - Kansas City doesn't lose late season home games at Arrowhead, and they will go into this finale with intentions to both lock down the 3 seed and seek revenge from their loss to Oakland early in the year. The Raiders, meanwhile, have nothing to play for other than the opportunity to save face and put some gloss on their surprisingly decent season by sweeping the division champs. I see Oakland going in the tank here, Kansas City building a decent lead and then taking the foot off the gas just enough to only win by 6.



Giants (-3.5) at Redskins



Dave: Redskins - Maybe Mike Shanahan wasn't completely out of his tree by benching Donovan McNabb and opting for "The Sex Cannon"(as my friend Adam now refers to Rex Grossman). Grossman has been solid in a near-comeback win against Dallas and a nice upset of the Jags last week. The Giants, however, threw in the flag right around the time DeSean Jackson zipped past them for the game-winning score on the punt return TD that capped a 28-point comeback two weeks ago. There's no fight left in Gabe's Big Blue Man Group. Coughlin's a goner and the Redskins are feisty enough to make this a game. I'll put my money on The Sex Cannon....just because it's fun to say, er, type.



Jaguars (+3) at Texans



Dave: Texans - With their season over and their head coach pretty much done for, can't you see Houston just mailing it in here and getting drubbed by Jacksonville? The problem with that theory is the Jags will be without QB David Garrard and RB Maurice Jones-Drew and, eventhough the Texans have always found new ways to lose, I can't bank on an offense led by Trent Edwards and Rashad Jennings. With no real star power(Andre Johnson expected to be out for the Texans), I see a sloppy, hard-to-watch game with Arian Foster giving Houston the edge by 7.



Bears (+10) at Packers



Dave: Bears - Reverse jinx obviously in effect here with my Packers pretty much in a "win and their in" situation, but also, it's hard to take Green Bay by double digits when the cold, wintery winds of Lambeau is going to at least somewhat limit their bread and butter: the passing game. Chicago loses this one simply because they don't want to risk losing any key guys in a physical battle with a hungry, aggressive Packers squad on the frozen tundra, but I say the Packers win this one by 9.


Cardinals (+6) at 49ers



Dave: Cardinals - The 49ers this year remind me of the Chiefs a couple years ago. A young, talented team that is just a good front office/coaching staff and a piece here and there from being solid. Unfortunately, that's going to have to wait til next year for fans of the San Francisco treat. The Cardinals suck every bit as much as the Niners do, but they have the better coaching staff and, with the notoriously cheap Bidwells still running things, I think they fight a little harder to avoid the higher draft spot. Cardinals with the "upset" by 10.



Cowboys (+3) at Eagles



Dave: Cowboys - The Eagles will have most, if not all, of their starters sitting by halftime(or earlier) as they rest up for the playoffs. The Cowboys want to do what they can to help Jason Garrett keep his job, so I can see them going all out against a disinterested Philly team. Last game in a Cowboys uniform probably for Roy Williams, so expect a TD or two from him. Cowboys by 13.


Chargers (-3.5) at Broncos



Dave: Broncos - I know I'm going to regret this pick, but if the Chargers are smart, they tank this game. A loss here has to put Norv Turner out of his misery in San Diego, right? As good as this team has been under Norv, they aren't going deep into the playoffs with him at the helm. This season has been a unmitigated disaster, thanks to some foolish tough talk by GM A.J. Smith and Turner failing to get the team to overachieve while undermanned. Tim Tebow is playing like a guy who wants to lock down that starting spot next year and I think he has a decent night against San Diego. Donkeys by 3.


Steelers (-5.5) at Browns



Dave: Steelers - This isn't the same feisty Browns team that beat New England a few weeks ago and gave the Jets all they could handle. Peyton Hillis is banged up and the Steelers have visions of locking down a first round bye dancing in their head. Browns played Pittsburgh tough the last time they squared off, but I see Big Ben having a field day in his backyard of Ohio. Steelers by 16.



Bills (+1) at Jets



Dave: Jets - Gang Green has their playoff spot locked up, so the starters will probably sit most of the game against a crappy Bills team. The question becomes "Can a inferior Buffalo team beat the Jets' B team?". My thinking is "No.". Rex Ryan isn't going to let his backups play dead in front of the home crowd and it's in the Bills' best interest to just take a dive here and move up a spot or two in the Draft. Jets by 9.



Dolphins (+5.5) at Patriots



Dave: Dolphins - The frustrating part of picking Week 17 games involving teams that have their postseason card punched is trying to guage just how much effort the contenders are going to put in with nothing to play for. Last year, New England played the starters and lost Wes Welker to a torn ACL, which pretty much killed their season. I can't see Belichick being dumb enough to do that two years in a row. Miami's fighting to keep Tony Sparano's job and a nice W against the best team in the NFL, albeit a Patriots team giving little effort, is a nice way to close the season. Phins by 6.




Panthers (+14.5) at Falcons



Dave: Falcons - I don't think this spread can be high enough. If I'm John Fox, why am I even boarding the plane for this game? You've already been given your walking papers. You won't be around to reap the benefits from whoever the Panthers take with the #1 pick and you're facing a Falcons team that has to at least try a little bit to hold on to the #1 seed(just incase Chicago beats Green Bay). Just stay in the locker room like Coach Kilmer in "Varsity Blues". The only thing keeping Jimmy Clausen from a spot on the bench next season is Andrew Luck leaning toward staying at Stanford. Regardless, I see Atlanta shutting out Carolina and putting Fox out of his misery. Falcons by 21.



Bengals (+9.5) at Ravens



Dave: Bengals - Is it crazy to think that the only thing that kept Carson Palmer from being slightly better than mediocre this season was the fact he had to throw to two Pro Bowl WRs all year? Who would have thought not having T.O. and Ocho Cinco would make Palmer BETTER? Either way, the T.Ocho Show is over in Cincy and, if Palmer wants to avoid joining them, he'll repeat his performance from last week and help the Bengals put up a fight against a Ravens team that has a shot at a first round bye. Bengals beat the Ravens earlier in the year and 9.5 is a bit high for a Ravens team that hasn't beaten the Bengals in a year and a half. Ravens get the W, but only by 6.




Bucs (+7.5) at Saints



Dave: Saints - I want to give huge props to Josh Freeman for his 5 TD performance that locked down two wins in big money fantasy football championships last week. That being said, Mr. Freeman, your boys are about to get steamrolled. If there's a team that I absolutely do not want to face in these playoffs(even more so than New England), it's the Saints. They're the defending champs. They have the experience and they're hot at the right time(Plus, they get the Seahawks-Rams winner to start things off in the playoffs). The only thing that keeps the Bucs in this game is if the Saints take the foot off the gas. Colston's probably going to sit, which means we'll see a lot of Lance Moore and maybe a Jeremy Shockey sighting or two. I like the Saints to win this one and....early postseason prediction alert....the NFC.




Titans (+9.5) at Colts



Dave: Titans - I'm not sure if Jeff Fisher's unwillingness to utilize Randy Moss is him doing his best to get himself canned or just my own delusion keeping from realizing Moss is finished as a legit deep threat. Regardless, the Moss Era in Tennessee may be more confusing than the Moss Era Part II in Minnesota. Tennessee managed to sneak back into their last showdown with Indy and cover with a couple garbage time TDs. I don't think they have a shot of beating an Indy team that still needs a win to claim the division, but I can see them sneaking in again with a heavy dose of Chris Johnson to only lose by 4.



Rams (-3) at Seahawks



Dave: Rams - It's sad that one of these two teams will be hosting a playoff game while a team like the Bucs or Packers or Giants will be sitting on the sidelines come next week. Even sadder is the fact that this turd of a game will be nationally televised. The Seahawks should be commended for at least still having a shot at the division at season's end, but they've been plain terrible the last few weeks. The Rams are the better team and I can see them punching themselves out trying to beat Seattle and then hosting New Orleans next week and getting their clock cleaned. Rams by 6.



Vikings (+3) at Lions



Dave: Vikings - Be prepared, America. Be prepared for non-stop coverage of Brett Favre's every last breath during this game. Be prepared for ESPN to spend the first 50 minutes of Sportscenter analyzing Favre's finale. Be prepared for this game to be re-aired on NFL Network 100 times. Be prepared for Favre Fatigue Overload like you've never witnessed before. They might even bring John Madden out of retirement to slurp Favre on the bench just for ol' times sake. As for the game, Joe Webb is going to milk these 15 minutes for a just a little longer. Ndomukong Suh will lock up the Defensive Rookie of the Year award and the world will sit and wait as every network wastes airtime on a meaningless 14-10 Vikings victory. Don't say you weren't warned.

Friday, December 31, 2010

Order of Protection

Perhaps Brett Favre should have enlisted Roger Goodell and his Keystone Cops to be his offensive line this season instead of guys like Bryant McKinnie and Steve Hutchinson because, clearly, NOBODY has done a better job of watching Ol' Number Four's back than the league office.


Perhaps Goodell was worried he may have to fine himself if he unleashed a devastating hit on one of the NFL's last remaining living legends. The $50,000 fine Goodell took nearly two months to impose on Favre isn't even a slap on the wrist. It's more like a pinkie jab across the cheek. $50K for a man making nearly $700K a week? That's like giving The Donald a ticket for jaywalking outside the Trump Marina. Steelers LB James Harrison was fined $75,000 for being a little too aggressive in doing the job he's paid to do. Patriots safety Brandon Meriweather and Falcons cornerback were fined $50K for doing the same thing. Only after sparks started to fly over the weak nature of Favre's penalty did the league decide they may have gotten a little carried away and opted to lessen the fines of the Harrison, Robinson and Meriweather. What about Jets conditioning coach Sal Alosi? He got docked double what Favre got for tripping Dolphins defensive back Nolan Carroll. So, helmet-to-helmet hits and pulling the rug out from a player....really bad. Sexually harassing a female team employee....meh, slightly frowned upon.




My thoughts on the Favre-Jenn Sterger drama have been published in this very spot, and quite frankly, the story has become so old hat that it doesn't bear repeating again. People have their opinions of Favre and people have their opinions of Sterger. Nothing said here will change that, so I won't even bother. This has more to do with the image of Commissioner Goodell and how his latest laying of the hammer seems to contradict his formerly-tough stance on lowering the boom on those that besmirch the shield. Beyond the fines mentioned earlier, there was Goodell making a name for himself early on by coming down hard on Mike Vick and his dogfighting, as well as the off-the-field hijinx of guys like Plaxico Burress, Donte Stallworth and Pac-Man Jones. Hell, even Big Ben got a four-game ban for ALLEGEDLY sexually assaulting a woman(or two) because having a 2-time Super Bowl winner being accused of rape makes the league look bad. Brandon Marshall got suspended for putting his own arm through his entertainment center. Favre couldn't get at least a one-game ban for dragging the league through the mud these last few months?

Goodell can say that the reasoning beyond his fine was because Favre failed to cooperate with the investigation. The real reason to anyone with common sense: Fear. This "investigation" started in late October. Sterger testified in early November. It shouldn't have taken the league this long to come to the conclusion that Favre was never going to speak to them and that, without his testimony, they didn't have much of a case. Where I'm from, if you are accused of a crime, and you don't go out of your way to plead your innocence, you probably did something wrong. It's evident to me that Goodell spared Favre a suspension because he didn't want to see Favre's vaunted consecutive games streak end on a league-imposed note. Once the streak ended a cold Monday night in Detroit, Goodell had ample time to strike Favre down. He didn't. With the Vikings season over from the get-go, Goodell stalled and stalled and dragged his feet worse than Bushwick Bill in making a decision on Favre even while a suspension clearly wouldn't derailed an already lost season for the Vikes. He sat back and watched Favre oversell injury after injury like Vince Carter in the Conference Finals and try to play through the pain like some cowboy with one bullet left in a gun that keeps jamming on him. Favre tried to muster the hero act to try to erase the filth that lies on his image from this latest sordid ordeal. It didn't work for most of America. It worked on Goodell. Forced to choose between preserving a fading legend's legacy and maintaining his usual hard stance on upholding the sanctity of the league's perception, Goodell chose the former. The man who made rule changes in the middle of the season because defensive ball hawks were doing their job a little too well suddenly got squeamish on the idea of being "that guy who punctuated Favre's career with a suspension". Let's not kid ourselves. Regardless of what you thought about Favre before or after this sexting scandal, the man is going to the Hall of Fame. The man is going to end his career as one of three best guys to ever play his position. Brett Favre is still a legend. To quote Kenny Powers, his face cashes checks. That being said, his ASS should have been suspended for showing his DICK to someone who is not his wife, but the league had no BALLS. If this whole drawn-out affair was about justice, then Favre should have at least had to sit for a. making a mockery of the league by getting himself caught up in this mess(whether he sent the pics or not, and his actions thus far would suggest he did, he still had no business looking for love outside his marriage. In this day and age, a public figure like Favre had to be smart enough to know nothing behind-the-scenes will remain in the dark for long), b. the pain and embarrassment caused to Sterger(not to mention, the embarrassment and pain he caused his wife, albeit not a league matter) and c. ducking the league office like one of the baby daddies on Maury Povich dodging child support.



The irony of Goodell's ruling is that, in trying to find closure on a messy situation, he opened up a can of worms. How can Goodell expect to be taken seriously after spending his first few years in office as Judge Dredd and then spending the last few months as Barney Fife? And what message can he possibly send to other female employees who may run into awkward situations like this? "If you get courted by an athlete, make sure he's not real famous, because otherwise, you're on your own, ladies"? Whether Sterger sues Favre like so many are reporting she will, remains to be seen. Frankly, this drama dragged on far longer than it should have and the ending was far more disappointing than "No Country For Old Men".


A woman(or women, if you count the violated massage therapists) was wronged by a man who failed to fess up to his crimes because he was scared what an admission would do to his sparkling image. Lucky for Brett Favre, the league was just as scared of tarnishing it as he was.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Week 16 Picks cont...

Christmas obligations kept us from giving our takes on the epic Arizona-Dallas clash, but it should have already been assumed that we both went with Dallas(and inevitably lost, thanks to Dave Buehler going shank-a-potamus on the PAT of the go-ahead TD).



The holidays will more than likely keep us from elaborating on the rest of this week's slate of games, but here's our picks anyway. (Side note: Because Gabe failed to make a pick for last night's Monday nighter, he takes the L for Vikings-Bears. That means we finish Week 15 with matching 6-10 records and Gabe is up a decent-but-not-insurmountable 11 games with two weeks to play.)





Last Week



Dave: 6-10

Gabe: 6-10



Season



Dave: 89-111-6

Gabe: 100-100-6



This Week(including Arizona-Dallas)



Dave: 1-1

Gabe: 1-1



Chargers (-7.5) at Bengals



Dave: Chargers



Gabe: Chargers



Seahawks (+6) at Bucs



Dave: Bucs



Gabe: Seahawks



Titans (+4.5) at Chiefs



Dave: Chiefs



Gabe: Chiefs



Colts (-2.5) at Raiders



Dave: Colts



Gabe: Colts



Jets (+2) at Bears



Dave: Jets



Gabe: Bears



Texans (-3) at Broncos



Dave: Texans



Gabe: Texans



49ers (+2) at Rams



Dave: 49ers



Gabe: Rams



Giants (+3) at Packers



Dave: Packers



Gabe: Giants



Ravens (-3) at Browns



Dave: Ravens



Gabe: Ravens



Vikings (+14) at Eagles



Dave: Eagles



Gabe: Eagles



Lions (+3.5) at Dolphins



Dave: Lions



Gabe: Dolphins



Redskins (+6.5) at Jaguars



Dave: Redskins



Gabe: Jaguars



Patriots (+8) at Bills



Dave: Patriots



Gabe: Patriots



Saints (+2) at Falcons



Dave: Falcons



Gabe: Saints

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Week 16 Picks

You have to wonder if the NFL has a personall vendetta against its own network with the series of turds it has scheduled for these Thursday night games. Nicolas Cage hasn't been responsible for as many boring three hour bombs as the NFL has the last couple of weeks on the NFL Network. Tonight will be no different. In one corner, you have the Pittsburgh Steelers, who are angling for the top spot in the AFC North and a potential 2 seed in the playoffs. On the other side, you have the Carolina Panthers, who are just a couple more mailed-in performances away from the top spot in the NFL Draft.



This should be a lay-up for Mr. Thursday Night and Capt. Dos Equis.
Panthers (+14) at Steelers



Dave: Steelers - If there's any incentive for the Panthers to play better than the walking cadavers they've been all season, it's solely based on Jimmy Clausen trying to do whatever he can to keep Andrew Luck from taking his job this spring. That's it. The Steelers D is a bit more suspect with Troy Polamalu and Aaron Smith out, so it's not inconceivable to think Carolina can at least keep it close with some garbage time touchdowns from a motivated Clausen(who may be turn into this generation's Drew Brees). I still like Pitt to unleash the sound and fury on the toothless Panthers. Steelers by 24.



Gabe: Steelers - (Editor's note: Gabe decided to chime in at the 11th hour from a busy night of eating dinner, jamming out to Kings of Leon and discussing why Alec Baldwin is the next John Travolta to follow suit with my Steelers pick.)

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

A Man's World

I'll be the first to admit I am ignorant to women's college basketball. Hell, I'll admit to being ignorant to women's sports in general. That's not to say I don't have an appreciation for female athletes, but the athletic accomplishments of the fairer sex haven't exactly caused more than the occasional raising of the eyebrow by yours truly. You can call me a chauvinist. You can call me a pig. You can call me every name in the book. The fact of the matter is, if the male-dominated world of the NHL can't grab my attention, then it's hard to fathom a world inwhich I am sitting on my couch, eating pizza and keeping my eyes glued to a riveting tennis match between the Williams' sisters or watching Anika Sorenson tee off on the 18th hole.


So, while I'll gladly tip my cap to your UConn Lady Huskies, Geno Auriemma, you'll have to excuse me for not running down the streets like Jim Valvano and jumping for joy. The 89-game win streak by Auriemma's Lady Huskies deserves its just due and should be given the proper respect for being what it is: 89 straight wins in women's basketball. You see, the dirty little secret that your "experts" and professional scribes won't dare utter on television or in a syndicated column is that women's sports will never be considered on the same level as its male counterparts. I'm sorry, ladies, but it's true. Auriemma can pound on the podium and scream for equality all he wants at press conferences, but he's going to have to settle for being the leader of the greatest dynasty in WOMEN'S college basketball(P.S. People HATE dynasties...at least until their over. Why? Because dominance is boring. It's why the people despise the Yankees and their greed. It's why the Lakers have become the John Dillingers of the NBA. Dynasties are great to reflect on, but are tiring to talk about while their going on.). He's not John Wooden. He's not Dean Smith. He's no Bobby Knight and he's damn sure no Coach K(and that's coming from someone who, like most red-blooded Americans, can't stand the Duke Blue Devils).

Now, "Why?" is the most popular question that would be asked in Auriemma's defense. Why does UConn's streak not register as much hoopla(no pun intended) as, say, Wooden's run with UCLA in the 60's or even Coach K's dominance over the last few decades at Duke?(Another side note: If Coach K won 89 straight games at Duke, it would be just as great of an achievement as Auriemma's current run, but you'd be a fool to say the streak would put Coach K ahead of Red Auerbach or Phil Jackson and be even more foolish to say the Blue Devils are a better dynasty than, say, the Lakers or Celtics.)Well, for starters, a winning streak is only as great as the teams you mowed over to get there. Again, I'm no scholar when it comes to women's college basketball, but other than Pat Summit's Tennessee Lady Vols, I can't think of another team that UConn may have ran over that would make this streak more impressive. UConn winning 89 straight games in women's basketball is the equivalent of Bill Belichick winning 89 straight games in the UFL. That's not a shot at the Huskies or women's basketball, but every great team/player/coach/entity needs an equal rival. Bird needed Magic. Ali needed Fraizer. Crosby needs Ovechkin. There isn't another recognizable collegiate powerhouse(except, again, for Summit's Vols) that Auriemma and his girls can hang their hats on. Women's college basketball doesn't have the parity of its male counterparts. The list of competitive teams isn't as deep. So, it's hard to go too ballistic over a winning streak as impressive as UConn's when the general public couldn't name another dominant team that fell victim to this collegiate powerhouse. Hell, the general public couldn't name 10 great women's college basketball players right now. There's a reason the WNBA will inevitably fold: It doesn't have the star power to catch anyone's eye. The most recognizable player in women's pro basketball never dribbled a ball for Auriemma and the Huskies(that would be Candace Parker, who played for Summit at Tennessee). As great as Maya Moore(the biggest star of this current batch of Lady Huskies) may be, there won't be a large crowd buying her jersey when she goes pro.


The only solution, and this is something "analysts" won't say on television because of the backlash but I will because, well, fuck it, it's my opinion and only 10% of our readers are women anyway, is for Auriemma to have his girls take the court against the men. You want respect from the male population, Geno? Go out there and run Coach K's boys off the floor. Because sports is dominated by men, the narrow-minded male population(which I guess I am a part of, though I try to keep an open mind even if this blog will suggest otherwise) aren't going to take women's place in the annals of sports seriously until they show up the boys. Billie Jean King was a great tennis player, but she didn't get the respect she deserved until she unleashed a can of whoop ass on Bobby Riggs. Anika Sorenson flew under the radar as the best of a decent crop of lady golfers, until she decided to take on the men(and failed, but whatever). Danica Patrick gained her notoriety by being brave enough to go up against dudes(Being relatively attractive didn't hurt her chances in the limelight either). Men don't care about women beating other women. We want to see them take on the boys. That's why women's boxing failed miserably, and that was with its biggest star being the daughter of the greatest fighter of all time(Laila Ali, daughter of Muhammed Ali, incase you're slow, or have been living under a rock for the last half century). If Laila Ali were to knock out, say, Floyd Mayweather Jr., think of what it would do for both Ali AND women's boxing. Nobody cares about her beating the shit out of Christy Martin!




The 89-game(and counting) win streak deserves it's just due as an impressive feat because Lord knows when we will see another team(women's or men's) as dominant as these Lady Huskies but the streak needs to be only taken at face value. It's 89 straight wins against teams that are unknown to the general public. No matter how hard ESPN and other major networks will try to jam this feat down our throats over the next few weeks, it will take something completely drastic to change the minds of a male-dominated sports society(myself included). It may not be fair. It may not be right, but it's the way of the world. If Auriemma wants his girls to gain the respect and recognition of the men, he's going to have to actually compete with the men. This is Auriemma's opportunity to really make his mark. If he's serious about putting women's sports on par with the men, he'll campaign hard for some sort of "Battle of the Sexes"(much like King did against Riggs, and Margaret Court did before her). ESPN spends countless airtime running poker games, spelling bees, and basketball games filmed in high school gymnasiums on its network, so I know it can spare a few hours to air a showdown between Auriemma's Lady Huskies and whomever wins the NCAA Tournament out of the men(though, I'd much rather just see UConn vs. Duke since it will allow Auriemma to go up against his coaching equivalent in the men's game). 89 wins against the best women's college basketball had to offer may be impressive water cooler fodder for the next few months, but it will be nothing compared to just ONE win against the boys.




The ball's in YOUR court, ladies and gentlemen. Go shake up the world.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Week 15 Picks Continued....

Dave continues to be the King of Thursday night, but the boys both got a W to start this week.


Week 14 was one to forget at the Boom Roasted Sports offices. Mr. Sausage & Peppers has gone over 100 losses for the season, while Gabe is probably well on his way to doing the same. Dave had to get out early this morning to make his legal money, so we just have his picks for now. His explanations will come later.


Last Week:
Dave: 6-8-2
Gabe: 5-9-2


This Week, so far:
Dave: 1-0
Gabe: 1-0


Season Series:
Dave: 83-101-6
Gabe: 94-90-6


Atlanta (-6) at Seattle


Gabe: Atlanta - I still think Seattle is terrible and Atlanta needs to win this game to prove they are for real. Atlanta by 10.


Dave: Atlanta - As tough as it is to go on the road, into Qwest Field and get a W, the Falcons have homefield advantage in their sights and the Seahawks aren't good enough to stop Atlanta from taking their kill shot on the NFC.


Green Bay (+14) at New England


Gabe: New England - Green Bay is starting Matt Flynn at quarterback, on the road. New England is playing out of their mind right now. Lock it up. New England by three touchdowns.

Dave: New England - I'm so depressed about what's about to happen to my Packers, I may break my 28-year sobriety tonight. Green Bay's scant hopes of staying alive in the NFC North relies on subpar backup Matt Flynn going into New England and pulling off a Yao Ming-sized upset. Mind you, this is the same Matt Flynn that couldn't lead a touchdown-scoring drive in one half of play against lowly Detroit last week. Ugh....I'm getting sick just thinking about this. Pats by 17.


Denver (+7.5) at Oakland


Gabe: Oakland - I'd be willing to bet Tim Tebow throws more pick sixes than touchdowns. Oakland wins big.

Dave: Broncos - When I initially emailed(or Facebook messaged, whatever) Gabe this pick, I completely forgot Denver got trounced by Oakland the last time they played....and that was IN Denver. I think Tim Tebow, making his debut, does enough with his arm and legs to at least make it close. Raiders by a touchdown.


New Orleans (+2.5) at Baltimore


Gabe: New Orleans - The Saints are playing well right now. Baltimore is prone to having bad games, especially against good teams. I think the Saints have too many weapons on offense. New Orleans, in a mild upset, wins by a touchdown.

Dave: Ravens - The Saints have gotten back into Super Bowl champion form, but they are a finesse team going into Baltimore against a Ravens defense that likes to smack you in the mouth. The Ravens offense is finally good enough to go blow for blow with their opponents and I think this becomes a shootout with Baltimore's D getting the last laugh.


Detroit (+4.5) at Tampa Bay


Gabe: Detroit - Tampa Bay always finds ways to win, and I think they do today as well, but it will be close. I think Tampa wins, but by only a field goal.

Dave: Bucs - If Tampa Bay is to be taken seriously, they have to take care of business against a feisty but still mediocre Lions team. The Bucs specialize in beating up on punchless, bottom-of-the-barrell teams, and this should be no different. Bucs by a touchdown.


Washington (+7) at Dallas


Gabe: Dallas - So now the Redskins have the best back-up quarterback in the league, although I hear McNabb is probably going to be the no. 3 quarterback on the depth chart. Dallas is not as bad as their record and is playing well right now. I think DeMarcus Ware harasses Grossman into a few picks. Dallas by double digits.

Dave: Cowboys - As I wrote in my McNabb piece yesterday, this is Mike Shanahan's only shot at vindication. If he succeeds in sweeping the Cowboys with Rex Grossman at QB, then he looks a lot brighter by benching "The $78 Million Man" Donovan McNabb. If the 'Skins get embarressed, which has been their calling card this season, then he deserves every piece of the backlash he'll get from this day forward. Either way, I think they did McNabb dirty in Washington and I hope next season McNabb finally gets his payback. As for today, Cowboys roll here.


Philadelphia (+3) at N.Y. Giants


Gabe: N.Y. Giants - Ok, I usually try to pick games with my head, not my heart, but I have believe the Giants win this game. It is my fan's duty to believe in my team this week. The formula for this win is to pressure Michael Vick and use Brandon Jacobs and Ahmad Bradshaw to keep the game short and the ball away from Philly's offense. Can they do that? Sure. Are they just as likely to watch Michael Vick go for 400 total yards and 5 TD's? Yes. I have to believe. Giants by a touchdown.

Dave: Philadelphia - The Giants' defensive line is the only defense, probably in the NFL, that is fast enough to keep up with Mike Vick. Problem is, Big Blue's secondary can't keep up with DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin. If Vick can get enough seperation from this Giants' pass rush, he'll feast on New York's secondary. He'll also get help from Eli Manning, who enjoys turning the ball over every now and then. Eagles break out the brooms....win by a field goal.


Arizona (+2.5) at Carolina


Gabe: Carolina - Wow, this the "Big Game" of the "I Wouldn't Watch This Game if it Were Played in My Driveway" series. Umm...I'll take Carolina because they are at home.

Dave: Cardinals - I really hate rolling the dice on John Skelton, so I can only imagine how the Cardinals' coaching staff must feel. Both of these teams suck, but if you listen close enough, you'll hear children in dark corners of Asian sweat shops sewing together "Andrew Luck" on the back of Panthers jerseys and "Ryan Mallett" on the back of Cardinals shirts. Cards by a field goal, since I have to pick a winner.


Buffalo (+5) at Miami


Gabe: Miami - Buffalo is terrible. Miami wins at home. That's all I got.

Dave: Miami - I have my reluctance to take Miami here, since they seem to do all their winning outside of South Beach. Buffalo really has no reason to win this game. If they tank the season, they can hope Carolina plays its way out of the Andrew Luck Sweepstakes. I think Miami has one more left hook to throw before calling it a season, and I say it lands on the Bills' chin today. 'Phins by 6.


Kansas City (+3) at St. Louis


Gabe: St. Louis - The Rams are good, but young. They are at home. And oh yea, the Chiefs are starting Brodie Croyle at quarterback who has never won a game as a starter. Rams by a touchdown.

Dave: Chiefs - Chiefs need this one because San Diego is still on their heels and the Raiders are breathing down their neck as well. Obviously, their fate lies in whether Matt Cassel heals quick from his appendectomy. Rams are decent at home, and a win here helps their chances in the NFC West, but I think the Chiefs have too much on offense for St. Louis. Chiefs by 9.

Jacksonville (+5) at Indianapolis


Gabe: Jacksonville - Indy is reeling. Peyton Manning needs to get out of his funk. I think this game hinges on Maurice Jones-Drew. I don't think the Colts have an answer for Mojo. The Jags get the straight up win in my....wait for it...UPSET SPECIAL!!

Dave: Jags - If the Jags are legit and have any desire of stealing the AFC South, they need to knock out Indy while they have the Colts on the ropes. Peyton Manning bounced back a bit last week against Tennessee and he's not going to hand over the South to Jacksonville easily, but I say this one is close and the Colts only win by 3.


Cleveland (+1) at Cincinnati


Gabe: Cleveland - Peyton Hillis left. Peyton Hillis right. Peyton Hillis up the middle. Cincy sucks. Cleveland wins outright.

Dave: Browns - Again, if you're Cincy, why win this game? Marvin Lewis is a goner. So is T.O. So is Carson Palmer. You have a top 3 pick locked up. You've sucked ALL year. Why overachieve now? Browns by 7.


N.Y. Jets (+5) at Pittsburgh


Gabe: Pittsburgh - Mark Sanchez is playing like he did at USC. Pittsburgh's defense is going to crush this offense. Pittsburgh wins by at least a touchdown.

Dave: Jets - No Troy Polamalu hurts a Steelers defense that is already suspect without Aaron Smith. The Jets are desperate after losing two straight and having their face of the franchise look awfully pedestrian lately. I think the Jets man up, run the ball down the Steelers' throats and Mark Sanchez takes some chances with Polamalu out of action. Jets by 9.


Houston (+1) at Tennessee


Gabe: Tennessee - I think Matt Schaub is finally off of suicide watch. There is now way Houston gets over that loss last week. Tennessee rolls.

Dave: Houston - Two teams that always find ways to lose games, so I'll take the points. Texans by 3.
Chicago (-8) at Minnesota
Gabe:
Dave: Minnesota - Rough field conditions in Minnesota will make it tough for either team to pull away here. Obviously, with Joe Webb starting for the Vikings, it's hard not to like the Bears to win but I think we're looking at a 10-3 snoozefest dominated by the run game on both sides. Bears by 7.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Along Came Shanny

This was supposed to be the retribution season for Donovan McNabb. He was supposed to make the Eagles pay for closing the book on him too soon. He was supposed to make us all believers.


Instead, the book on Donovon McNabb will state that he now has been unceremoniously tossed from TWO NFL franchises. There has to be something, behind the scenes, about Donovan McNabb that we don't know about. Perhaps behind that big, 250 lb. exterior, that Carl Winslow mustache, and that hearty laugh, there is something more unsavory. How else can you explain McNabb transforming into the Jennifer Aniston of NFL quarterbacks: a man who seems so charming and likable to the general public but is known more for his inability to find a suitor who wants to commit. The breakup between McNabb and the Eagles on Easter Sunday was almost Aniston-Brad Pitt-esque, with many sympathetic over the way McNabb was treated after the franchise he brought to five NFC Championships dumped him for someone younger and sexier(Yes, in a weird way, Mike Vick is the Angelina Jolie in this equation. Read into that what you will.).


That was supposed to be motivation for McNabb to prove the doubters in Philly's front office wrong. Instead, the Eagles look like geniuses. Not only do they get two draft picks for a former flame who couldn't make it one season with his new team, but the absence of McNabb allowed the rebirth of Vick who, in any other year, would probably be the league's MVP. This latest kick to McNabb's balls is a bit perplexing. Granted, McNabb hasn't been the second coming of John Elway in his first year in the nation's capital. He's completed 58.3% of his passes, his lowest completion percentage since 2006. He'll finish the season with more INTs(15) than TDs(14)(His 3,377 yards, however, does rank 7th in the NFL) for the first time in his career and the team is 5-8 with him at the helm.






That being said, the downfall of the Redskins this season can not be solely placed on McNabb's shoulders. The defense ranks near the bottom in almost every category. Was it McNabb's fault that Vick came into FedEx Field and put up Madden numbers on Monday Night Football a month ago? Was McNabb supposed to hold the snap this past Sunday instead of Hunter Smith so the 'Skins wouldn't botch what would have been a game-tying extra point against Tampa Bay? As subpar of a season as McNabb has had or is having, the Redskins still felt compelled to give the man a $78 million extension prior to the Eagles game. Instead, McNabb will collect a paycheck next season elsewhere(if I absolutely had to make a guess, Minnesota seems like the obvious choice, given the spot that will be vacated by Brett Favre and Tarvaris Jackson and McNabb's reluctance to go to Oakland this past spring.).






As bad as being benched in favor of former Chicago Bear punchline Rex Grossman(and to a greater extent, being dropped behind former Dolphins bust John Beck) is for McNabb, the extension makes the Redskins look like more of a laughingstock and the fact that Mike Shanahan has now managed to ruffle feathers with yet another high profile, high-priced member of the Redskins puts a little tarnish on that storied legacy of his. You can say what you will about Albert Haynesworth and how he went about his business this season in Washington, but the man felt like he was lied to and, rather than allow him to take his talents elsewhere, Shanahan chose to instead make an example of him. When he got tired of stringing Haynesworth out, he strung out McNabb. It's hard to tell if Shanahan is trying to make his mark on his new team, fan reaction be damned, or if he is intentionally trying to get himself canned so he can pursue endeavors elsewhere(Dallas, maybe?). Again, McNabb hasn't been stellar this season, but Shanahan hasn't exactly turned heads either. The vaunted running scheme of his that once made 1,000 yard rushers out of nobodies like Mike Anderson and Olandis Gary, couldn't resurrect the career of former pupil Clinton Portis, former nemesis Larry Johnson or make guys like Keiland Williams and Ryan Torain any more than stopgap journeymen. The Redskins are 26th in rushing and 10th in passing so, naturally, the team's demise is the quarterback's fault.....huh?






The next three weeks will tell the story of 2010 for all the parties involved. If the Redskins manage to succeed under Grossman(or even Beck), then Shanahan is vindicated for pulling the plug on McNabb and taking a look at next season's quarterback a year early. If the Redskins continue to be the bumbling bunch of amateurs that they have been under Shanny this season, however, then Shanahan will have played his last card in his effort to put blame elsewhere on a turd of a season his first year in D.C. has been. He won't have Haynesworth to blame for being a distraction. He won't have McNabb to throw under the bus. Instead, Shanahan will have to point the finger at the man that has been as responsible for this mess as anyone this season: Himself.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Week 15 Picks

Yet another Thursday night showdown between a MVP candidate and a QB who will be throwing lobs in the UFL next year. Phillip Rivers! Alex Smith! It's FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN-TASTIC. (Zzzzzzzz....).


49ers (+9.5) at Chargers


Dave: Chargers - Both teams are in desperation mode, as a loss pretty much ends their scant hopes at taking their respective divisions. I hate taking San Diego with a spread larger than seven because they always seem to disappoint(with the exception of last week, but that was against a Matt Cassel-less Chiefs team at home). I think Phillip Rivers has a better chance of having a field day on this Niner secondary than Alex Smith does of repeating his performance from last week's shocker against Seattle. So, begrudgingly, Mr. Thursday Night(5-2 this season on Thursday games, and winner of two straight), will take the Chargers here by 10.


Gabe: Chargers - The Niners stink. I still think San Diego is for real. The Chargers win big.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Back To The Drawing Board

With 2010 NFL regular season coming to a close, we have a bit more clarity than we did a few weeks ago in terms of figuring out who is at the top and has a real legit shot at the Lombardi Trophy (New England and Atlanta seem to be the front-runners)and who is just a pretender. However, the bigger story are the teams that disappointed us a little. 2010 didn't really offer up many surprises beyond the Rams and Seahawks contending for the NFC West title(almost by default though, since San Fran and Arizona have done everything they can to NOT win it) and the Chiefs standing atop the AFC West(unless, of course, you co-signed what I predicted in August).

So, since we'll have the next month or so to dissect the contenders and who and what to watch for come playoff time, let's use this time to take a look at the teams that were a bit underwhelming this season and what needs to be done next year to be more Chiefs-esque.

*Dallas Cowboys(currently 4-9)

Expectations: With their acquisition of first-round pick Dez Bryant to go along with an offense that already had Pro Bowl QB Tony Romo and last year's breakout star, WR Miles Austin(as well as a stable of legit running backs) to complement an athletic defense, Dallas was seen as a chic Super Bowl contender. This, however, was despite the fact this year's Super Bowl was to be held in the new home of the Cowboys and no team has ever made it to the Super Bowl when it's set to take place in their backyard. This was also despite the fact the Cowboys were still being coached by underachieving head coach Wade Phillips.

What Happened: To put it plainly, this team quit on Phillips at the first sign of danger. After losing to Washington and Chicago to start the season 0-2, the Cowboys got a nice win over Houston and then proceeded to go through the motions for the next six weeks. During that span, Romo would get sidelined with a broken clavicle after fullback Chris Gronkowski whiffed like Adam Dunn on a curveball in a blitz pickup of Giants linebacker Michael Boley. Beyond the loss of Romo, the team found out the hard way that once-punishing running back Marion Barber is now a few deep breaths above a cadaver and that Felix Jones is no more than a taller Darren Sproles. On top of that, the pass defense is every bit as bad as I hinted at in August, as they now stand 27th in the NFL against the pass. Needless to say, after a public trouncing on Sunday night by the Packers, Phillips was canned and replaced by one-time heir apparent Jason Garrett. The team, suspiciously has played better under Garrett, winning 3 of their last 5, but their season is done, regardless if Romo comes back or not.

Plan of Action: Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is going to want to make a splash in appointing his new coach. To the surprise of no one, he'll start first by dipping into the quartet of Jon Gruden/Mike Holmgren/Tony Dungy/Bill Cowher.....and he'll end up being disappointed. Gruden couldn't handle working for Al Davis in Oakland, so I can't see him jumping at working for an egomaniac like Jones. The same goes for Cowher, who spent years under the well-respected Rooney family in Pittsburgh and might not be so eager to deal with the polar opposite in Dallas. I really think Dungy is done with coaching and Holmgren isn't going to give up complete control in Cleveland to butt heads with Jones in Dallas. Another name that will surface may be former Florida coach Urban Meyer. Meyer is off doing the family man gig and has given no signs of wanting to return to coaching or join the pros for that matter, but he's a big enough fish for Jones to take a shot at. Inevitably, he'll find he's better off with Garrett. The team knows his playbook and clearly have responded better with him as the head coach than the offensive coordinator. What Garrett will need, however, is a good coordinator for the defense. A team with this much talent on the defensive side of the ball should not be as bad as they've been this season. Perhaps a guy like Mike Nolan could do wonders for this defense.

Once the coaching staff is straight, Jones needs to do a better job of acquiring talent through the draft. Sure, Bryant was a nice steal before breaking his ankle, but there hasn't been much to show from the last few draft classes. If he can't lock down a top of the line corner like Nebraska's Prince Akanamura or LSU's Patrick Paterson, Jones needs to shore up the offensive line. Doug Free isn't getting it done as Flozell Adams' replacement and, if the team wants to avoid seeing Romo in street clothes again, they are going to need to keep him out of harm's way. A trade for Ravens' left tackle Jared Gaither would be a low-cost risk, as he is coming off an injury-marred 2010, but given the lack of elite tackles in this year's draft, he may be worth it.

*Minnesota Vikings(currently 5-8)

Expectations: After coming an interception short of having their storybook season end with a Super Bowl appearance, the Vikings conned QB Brett Favre into giving it one last go under the assumption that they could repeat last year's performance and send "The Riverboat Gambler" out on top(Although my friend Andre warned people to not get too excited).

What Happened: They couldn't. Favre never played like a man motivated to make one last run, either because he was still hurting from offseason ankle surgery or the pressure from the Jenn Sterger sexting scandal was weighing on his mind. On top of that, the team grew more and more impatient with incumbent head coach Brad Childress. After butting heads for weeks with Favre, Childress was eventually canned and replaced with promising head coaching candidate, defensive coordinator Leslie Frazier. Still, even with the Vikes winning two of three under Frazier, it was too little, too late. Favre became a turnover machine more so than he's been in perhaps his entire career, as the offense clearly missed Sidney Rice(who missed the first two months after hip surgery). Minnesota tried to motivate Favre and instill some life into the passing game by trading a 3rd round pick for Randy Moss but, after three weeks, Moss was waived and the offense continued to sputter. The defense mirrored the offense in its underachievement. Jared Allen started off slow after being an all-season terror last year and frustration finally settled in this past Monday when players were irate after getting trounced by the Giants on Monday night.

Plan of Action: Cam Newton. That's the simple answer. Favre's finished, as you may or may not have heard about his 297-start streak ended the other night, and Tarvaris Jackson isn't the answer. There really isn't a veteran QB out there that would pick up where Minnesota left off last year, unless something drastic happens with Donovan McNabb in Washington(and even he isn't an upgrade) or if they can pilfer Mike Vick or Kevin Kolb from Philly. Newton, the 2010 Heisman winner, is the Draft's biggest enigma. He's big(6'6, 250lbs), with a solid arm and runs like a Mack truck. With him, Adrian Peterson and a left side of the offensive line led by Bryant McKinnie and Steve Hutchinson, they easily become the scariest power running team in football. A switch to an unproved QB who won't try to win the games on his own will allow Minnesota to go back to winning the way the knew how to pre-Favre: By handing the ball off to #28. No Favre means more emphasis on the best back in the country and with the mobility and power of a guy like Newton, teams will be a little more apprehensive of stacking the box against the Vikings. Newton could be a poor man's Big Ben or Josh Freeman and he's enough of a quandary to slide down to Minnesota in the first round.

On defense, whether DT Pat Williams retires or not, the team needs some fresh legs to replace him. They also need another DE to complement Jared Allen as Ray Edwards disappointed in what was supposed to be a breakout year following his solid postseason last year. The team can also use a corner or two to be eventually take over for Antione Winfield as well as bolster a unit damaged by injuries. As for Frazier, he's a bright enough star to deserve a full season. Again, unless Minnesota can lure a Cowher/Gruden-type to the Twin Cities, there isn't another coordinator out there that would be a better candidate than who they already have running the show.

*Washington Redskins(currently 5-8)

Expectations: The return of head coach Mike Shanahan to the sidelines and the acquisition of Pro Bowl QB Donovan McNabb gave people in the nation's capital hope that this would be the year they get off the snide after years of suffering under the Jim Zorn/Jason Campbell combo.

What Happened: Shanahan was aggressive in leaving his mark on his new team. He just may have went about it the wrong way. For starters, he butted heads almost immediately with overpaid, overweight DT Albert Haynesworth, but never was able to find a way to get rid of him from the roster, so the toxic nature of their tension spread throughout the locker room. In addition to that, Shanahan may have damaged the ego of McNabb by benching him during a crucial two-minute drill for Rex Grossman because Shanny was unimpressed with McNabb's "conditioning" and ability to run a two-minute offense.

If the lack of confidence from Shanahan wasn't hurting McNabb enough, the lack of a run game certainly didn't help matters. Clinton Portis stayed true to form and got hurt early in the season. Shanahan stayed true to form as well in his typical roulette with who was going to shoulder the load in Portis' absence. First,it was Larry Johnson. Then, it was Ryan Torain. Then, it was Keiland Willams. None were too productive, but Torain and Williams did a decent job filling in. The same can't be said for McNabb's receivers. Santana Moss was good for a few big plays here and there but he's clearly playing like a man whose best days are behind him. The same can definitely be said about Joey Galloway, who was washed up long before Washington tabbed him as their #2 receiver. Anthony Armstrong emerged as a nice target, but he's a #3 or #4, at best. Defensively, the team was abysmal. Beyond Brian Orakpo, the team had no other pass rush, which led to a highly overrated secondary getting burnt to a crisp routinely. The lack of motivation by Haynesworth to man the middle in the new 3-4 also killed the team against the run. Going into Week 15, the 'Skins are 29th against the pass and 28th against the run.

Plan of Action: Washington needs to make decisions on the futures of Haynesworth and McNabb. Haynesworth is obviously not coming back next year, but there's no excuse for why this team couldn't have tried harder to move him sooner than this offseason, when he had some value. As for McNabb, he got a new extension but the Redskins made it a point to publicly mention the out clauses in Donovan's new deal. He could very well be the first QB to sign an extension midseason and be gone before the next year. The problem with that is, who's better than McNabb? Grossman isn't worth cutting ties with Donovan. Perhaps Washington could make a run at Kyle Orton or try to revive Carson Palmer, but neither of those guys seem like definite upgrades. Shanahan needs to come out in Year 2 and hit some homers in the offseason. The offensive line is still horrible and now the team needs a real running back instead of trying to stay afloat with once-great veterans. They also need someone on the other side of Orakpo to put some pressure on opposing quarterbacks, as well as finding a nose tackle who actually wants to play in the 3-4. The fortunate side of all that is that Shanahan has Dan Snyder's big checkbook to go grocery shopping with. While the 'Skins got their props for not being big spenders this offseason, there's too many holes on this team to incorporate that logic again this year. Shanahan has to be flawless this offseason. Otherwise, given Snyder's quick trigger, Haynesworth might have some company flying out of D.C.

*San Francisco 49ers(currently 5-8)

Expectations: They were the sexy pick to win the NFC West, mainly because everyone else seemed a year or two away. They made some moderate improvements to the offensive line and, given the breakout years of Vernon Davis and Alex Smith a year ago, combined with a full season of Michael Crabtree and the presence of Frank Gore, this offense seemed poised for fireworks. Defensively, they one of the league's best last year and the addition of hard-hitting safety Taylor Mays was only going to stand to make them better.

What Happened: It's hard to say, really. I guess we should have expected Alex Smith to not be the goods with the spotlight on him, but you would have thought San Fran would at least be serviceable the first two months of the season. They weren't. The Niners entered November 2-6 and, by then, already made the switch to another Smith at QB: Former Heisman winner Troy Smith. Troy wasn't terrible under center, but eventually, his shortcomings(no pun intended) were exposed and the team went back to Alex this past week in their 40-21 win over Seattle. To show how putrid the NFC West is, the Niners are only a game out of first, despite starting the season 0-5. Any run at the postseason, however, will have to be done without Frank Gore, who is done for the season.

Plan of Action: Again, it's hard to say, because this team could very well back into the playoffs still. They are in must-win mode and their final three games aren't exactly backbreakers. They travel to San Diego to face a Chargers team that has been up and down all season. Then, they finish with two division games: on the road against the Rams and then at home for now John Skelton-led Cardinals. It's not incomprehensible to think San Francisco can run the table. Regardless of how these final weeks shake out though, their mission this offseason is clear: Upgrade at quarterback. The first name that pops up is Kevin Kolb. Given the way Mike Vick is playing right now, there's no way he's not the starter in Philly next year unless he prices himself out of the Eagles' range and goes elsewhere. That's got to be a huge setback for a kid who entered the year finally getting his shot at being The Man. In San Fran, Kolb can do what he does best: dink and dunk defenses to death and load up for a few bombs deep. Kolb's accuracy makes him a huge upgrade over either of the Smiths and his couple games of experience makes him a better option than going back to the drawing board and drafting another QB. Even with a class that is set to have Andrew Luck of Stanford, Jake Locker of Washington, Ryan Mallett of Arkansas and the aforementioned Cam Newton, the Niners might win enough to be out of range for those four. The other possibility, if the Niners can't get Kolb(or even Vick, who would be an even better option) would be.....prepare to cringe, Niners fans.......Carson Palmer. Palmer's been dreadful the last couple of years, but that could be attributed to Cincy's poor offensive line(or Palmer could just suck). Regardless, all signs point to Palmer being available and maybe he could return to form by going back to Cali and playing for a better team in a weaker division. Other than a new QB, the Niners aren't missing too much else. Some help at corner would be nice, since Nate Clements is being weighed down by his big contract far too much to return to Pro Bowl form.

*Cincinnati Bengals (currently 2-11)

Expectations: The Bengals went the "Expendables" route and brought in every former NFL miscreant, in the hopes they'd come together in unison and form a talented team of head cases. Some of the names added this offseason: Matt Jones, Pac-Man Jones, Terrell Owens and Antonio Bryant. With all that untapped potential, some thought the half-brain plan might actually work and the team would actually make another return to the playoffs after winning the AFC North last year.

What Happened: Surprisingly (sarcasm alert), a team consisting of T.O., Chad Ochocinco, Cedric Benson, Andre Smith, Tank Johnson, and Pac-Man Jones couldn't hack it together. With all the proposed firepower on offense, Carson Palmer still couldn't revert back to his old Pro Bowl form. Perhaps a mystical curse swapped out Carson for his brother, Jordan, or perhaps the Bengals' Swiss cheese offensive line has morphed Palmer into a chuck-and-duck quarterback or maybe Palmer just sucks. We may never know, but shockingly, T.O. has been the lone bright spot for Cincinnati, reeling in 72 catches for 983 yards and 9 TDs so far this season. Of course, that didn't stop T.O. from resorting to his typical T.O. antics. Beyond Owens, there hasn't been much to like in the 'Natti. Cedric Benson went from being last year's feel good story to the lead rusher on the 30th ranked rushing offense. Ochocinco has disappeared from the face of the Earth, save for a couple commercials, a terrible reality show, and appearances on Versus' T.Ocho Show. Palmer's thrown 18 picks this season, and may have ended his Bengals career with the two pick-6s he threw against Pittsburgh this past week. He'll have company on his way out, as head coach Marvin Lewis(in the final year of his contract) is a sure shot to not be back next year. Defensively, what was once a hard-hitting, physical, and inspired defense now has somehow forgotten how to rush the passer(combined 18 sacks...with Carlos Dunlap leading the way with 4.5) or stop the run.

Plan of Action: Palmer will probably welcome a change of scenery, after being sacked 28 times and having to deal with this merry band of knuckleheads. Of course, cutting ties with Palmer means having to find his replacement and, needless to say, that person is not on the roster. The Bengals will be in better position to snatch one of the top flight QBs than some of the other teams mentioned here, but they have needs elsewhere that need to be addressed. For starters, former top 10 pick LT Andre Smith isn't the goods and either needs to have an inferno lit under his rear end or be sent packing. The offensive line needs huge upgrades, regardless of who the QB is next year. Since there's nobody at the top of the draft that's worth taking on the offensive line, Cincy needs to go defense, where they've had success in the past years in the first round(Keith Rivers, Jonathan Joesph, Leon Hall). The name that has come up a few times in association with the Bengals is Clemson DE Da'Quan Bowers. Bowers is 6'4 275lbs and is coming off a season where he notched 15 sacks and 24 tackles for loss. While Cincinnati has used high picks on the line in bringing in guys like Dunlap and Michael Johnson, Bowers wouldn't be a bad guy to throw in the mix. If not Bowers, Auburn DT Nick Fairley(if he declares, which many think he will) or Alabama's Marcell Dareus(who is an underclassman as well) would fill a huge void in the middle of the line as well.

As for who replaces Lewis, it needs to be someone hard-nosed who is also willing to clean house. A team can get by with a huge loose screws but he can't have a whole team of them. Defensive coordinator Mike Zimmer has been a candidate for head coaching jobs for years but it's hard to promote a guy whose defense has failed as miserably as Zimmer's D has. As much as it pains me to type this, former Packers head coach/current Texas A &M coach Mike Sherman may be deserving of another try after his success in Green Bay and his stature as an offensive line guru. Another offensive-minded guy who could get a look is former Super Bowl-winning head coach Brian Billick, who probably would like a crack at a return to the NFL on top of facing his former team in Baltimore. Regardless, to change the Bengals, there needs to be a change in demeanor. There needs to be less gambling on problem children in the hopes that the friendly confines of Cincinatti will change their ways. It hasn't worked in years past and it certianly won't work going forward. Owens probably wore out his welcome with his latest comments and he was the only one of the troubled bunch to actually produce. It's time to cut ties with all of them and start from scratch. A team with this much talent should be not 2-11. The case can be made for Palmer to stay, but after this season, why would he want to?

*Houston Texans(currently 5-8)

Expectations: Everyone thought this was the year Houston finally takes the next step. With QB Matt Schaub finally stepping up last year into the rung of elite QBs, Andre Johnson as his tag team partner, and a young and athletic defense, the Texans were supposed to take the AFC by storm....and that was before we found out that RB Arian Foster was a certified beast.

What Happened: Like a nerd on prom night, the Texans couldn't close. They set an NFL record this season for coming back from down 14+ points to tie or take the lead and lose(Note: They did that four times......in 13 games. Terrible.). While the Texans didn't blow the doors off the AFC, Foster sure did. He leads the league in rushing with 1,330 yards and 13 touchdowns. Schaub and Andre 3000 have been Pro Bowl calibur as well. Schaub has close to 3,500 yards passing and 20 TDs and Johnson has contributed 1,158 yards and 7 TDs of that. Defensively though, the team was as good giving it up through the air as they were slinging it themselves. While stout against the run(6th best run D), the Texans were dead last against the pass. Some of that could be attributed to the loss of former star corner Dunta Robinson(who went to Atlanta), but a team with guys like Mario Williams and Brian Cushing rushing the passer should be better at stopping team through the air. Still, the Texans' Achilles heel this season is the same thing it's been the last couple of years under Gary Kubiak: their tendency to choke like a first-time throater with the game on the line. Case and point: Down 28-7 to Baltimore on Monday Night Football, Houston battles back to force overtime.....only to have Schaub toss the game-winning Pick-6 to Josh Wilson to give the Ravens the win. The Texans' struggles late in games is mind-boggling and it is hard to find one person to place blame on. Is it head coach Gary Kubiak who is getting the late game jitters? Is it Schaub? Or is it just bad luck? Regardless, this team can't continue to hang their hat on what their record is SUPPOSED to be. Fact is, they are a 5-8 team and they've deserved every one of those eight losses.

Plan of Action: The easy solution will be firing Kubiak, because he's the easier goat than Schaub(especially since Schaub has numbers on his side and the fact there's only a select number of signal callers who can sling it like him), but who is out there that release the large lump lodged in this team's throat during crunch time? I mentioned last week that Jon Gruden would be a good fit for this team since he's fiery and has an good offensive mind, but this team's problems aren't on the offensive end. Leslie Frasier is a solid defensive coach, but is he a proven late-game winner? Not yet. The best man for the job is the guy who can rally this team when the pressure is on. That might be Gruden. It could also be Marty Schottenheimer, who is also looking to get back in the NFL. As for the personnel, the secondary could use a veteran or two to shepard young corner Kareem Jackson. Champ Bailey is the big name on the market, but it remains to be seen whether he'd leave Denver. The same can be said for Antonio Cromartie and the Jets. If Gruden gets the gig, maybe he brings former pupil Ronde Barber over from Tampa. However it's done, change needs to happen. The Texans have an insane amount of talent on both sides of the ball, but it needs a proven motivator to take them to the next level. Otherwise, they'll be where they've been every year: on the outside looking in and making excuses.