The BoomRoasted Hot 100* (80-71)

The majority of the response we got from yesterday's 10 was that Natalie Portman(ranked 82nd) should have been higher on the list. Perhaps. Truth be told, when we were putting together names for the list, Portman's name didn't even come up until the very end and that was only after noticing the cover of the "Garden State" DVD. From there, it was a rat race to try to find a slot to squeeze her into. Ultimately, we removed Catherine Zeta-Jones and replaced her with Portman and just gave her Jones' spot. So, yeah, Portman should probably be higher and we probably should have thought this one through a little better. Our bad. There's always next year. At least she wasn't ushered off the list in favor of Lois Griffin.

Now, before we get into picks 80-71, here's some linkage for the previous 20 ladies on the list:

100-91
90-81

On to the rest of the countdown....

80. Michelle Beadle (ESPN's "SportsNation"). ESPN has made it a point to fill their roster with as many attractive ladies as possible. The days of gals like Linda Cohen and Robin Roberts being sports news' leading ladies are now old hat. In 2012, the Worldwide Leader is practically a beauty pageant, ranging from sideline sirens like Erin Andrews(who you'll find later on the list) and Rachel Nichols(who, sadly, you won't) to a woman like Michelle Beadle, who plays Scottie Pippen to Colin Cowherd's Michael Jordan on the occasionally enjoyable "SportsNation". This being a sports website run by men, we're always ready to tip our cap to a woman who knows her sports. It also helps if said woman is pretty with a sense of humor. Beadle comes off on SportsNation as someone as skilled in throwing punches as she is taking them, which is an admirable quality. She's also an avid wrestling fan(something I learned via Twitter), which scores her points in my book but probably causes Gabe to choke on his Maker's Mark. Beyond all those attributes, it's the fact that Beadle manages to stand out on a Bristol roster that closely resembles a college cheerleading squad that gets the most kudos. Many women have drowned in the shadow of the great Erin Andrews but Beadle has proven she can hold her own and be relevant. Good for her.

79. Jennifer Lopez ("American Idol", "Selena"). I'm not as sold on the "J.Lo Comeback" as all these magazine publications were trumpeting when Lopez signed on to be a judge on the now-floundering "American Idol"(Coincidence? I don't think so.). In fact, as recently as last night, we flirted with the idea of dropping J.Lo off the list entirely in favor of Kelly Brook(who was a Hot 100 oversight that has since been corrected. Thanks, Nick, for bringing this to my attention). Why so low on J.Lo? Well, for as pretty as she is, she isn't what she once was. A huge influx of hotter, younger women have lowered J.Lo's appeal. Let's face it, J.Lo could never sing, could never really act and, now with the emergence of Kim Kardashian, her once-hallowed tush isn't even the most vaunted rump in Hollywood anymore. Lopez hasn't made a movie worth watching since "Selena" and even that movie wasn't exactly an AFI 100 shoe-in. She's the Daunte Culpepper of hot chicks: great in the early 2000's, but her career died somewhere in Miami and now people aren't that enthused about seeing her. The fact that her presence on American Idol isn't exactly drawing eyes to TV sets should tell you something about her drawing power(or lack thereof). Like Halle Berry and Jessica Alba and Alyssa Milano, Lopez's reputation demands she be here in some capacity so long as she's still breathing and not looking like The Elephant Man but she's proof of how the once-mighty have fallen.

78. Selena Gomez("Wizards of Waverly Place", "Monte Carlo"). It always feels weird when you're pushing 30 and writing about the hotness of someone 10 years your junior whose claim to fame comes via The Disney Channel. Still, Selena Gomez is almost 21 and it's time to start taking her seriously as a sexy young adult(I felt creepy just writing that). She's at the point where she's transitioning between cute and adorable to hot and sexy, which is what we were saying about Britney Spears prior to her infamous Rolling Stone cover. It's hard to wax too poetically about someone whose resume is chock-filled with shows watched by 13-year olds but, now that her "Wizards of Waverly Place" days are essentially over, it's a safe bet that Gomez will rise up these list in years to come the minute she drops the Mouseketeer act and takes on more mature roles. Now, if you'll excuse me, this paragraph has compelled me to go take a shower.




77. Kelly Kelly(WWE Diva). The second and final of the WWE's "Divas" is Kelly Kelly, a woman who has garnered the most mainstream buzz of all the female sports entertainers on the McMahon roster. Like fellow "diva", Layla El, Kelly's screen time is limited as pro wrestling's time-honored tradition of women in the ring has been for them to be seen and not heard(save for a couple exceptions). Through spreads with Maxim and other magazines, Kelly's gotten her name out there as more than just another pretty face in the squared circle. The problem, of course, is Kelly Kelly is one in a long line of hot lady wrestlers. To his credit, Vince McMahon has managed to develop potential Playboy cover girls and then replace them seamlessly once they become too popular. What started with girls like Sunny and Sable then moved on to Torrie Wilson and Candice Michelle then to Trish Stratus and Lita and now to girls like Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres and Layla El. That's not to say Kelly Kelly is a dime a dozen, just that her window of relevance might be shutting given McMahon's reputation for lovin' 'em and leavin' 'em. Kelly's a hell of an athlete with a pretty face and you hope that her career has longevity even if the odds are against it. For now, she's a very potent #77.

76. Emmanuelle Chiriqui("Entourage", "Waiting..") I've had my eye on Emmanuelle Chiriqui since I saw her in the little-known flick "100 Girls". She was hot back then(the movie came out in 2000) and she became hotter once she nabbed the role of Sloan, E's love interest in "Entourage". With "Entourage" now finished, we hope to see more of her to cure our Sloan fix. According to iMDb, Chiriqui doesn't have anything major in the works so we may have to go another stretch hoping that she pops up in random movies like she did in "Waiting...". Let's hope that gap is short-lived because Chiriqui is one of the game's most underrated beauties and the more her workload, the better her chances of staying on this list. Here's to Emmanuelle finding another hit show to light up so we can enjoy her pretty face for years to come.





75. Zooey Deschanel ("Elf", "New Girl"). For as adorable as Zooey was as Jovi in "Elf" and as impressive as managing to be the cutest of a group of attractive sister(Older sister, Emily, stars on "Bones"), I had to drop Ms. Deschanel a couple spots for that ridiculous iPhone commercial You have to ask Siri if it's raining when you're 5 feet from a window? Come on now. That minor mishap aside, Zooey has the word "cute" in spades. She's made a nice living playing the love interest in movies like "Elf", "500 Days of Summer" and "Yes Man". She kinda has a weird hippie vibe to her, which is probably why her short stint on "Weeds" was so memorable, but on her new show "New Girl" she's proven she's something to see in a tank top and some yoga pants. Here's hoping that Zooey uses Siri for something a bit more productive in the future: like finding her spot on the BoomRoasted Hot 100.



74. Samantha Ivers ("Inside Man", "Two Lovers"). Samantha Ivers has been on my radar since I first saw her in "Inside Man", in the first half hour on the phone in the bank and then later in the interrogation scene when she offered to "bend over and pick up a pencil". Good times. To the naked eye, Ivers looks like a younger, hotter, less annoying Fran Drescher. There isn't much to Ivers' resume to really justify her spot just above the bottom quarter of the list as she's only been in a few movies besides "Inside Man"("Two Lovers", "Enchanted", "I Think I Love My Wife" "Red Hook Summer") but the scenes in "Inside Man" were enough to get my vote. Hopefully, Ivers nabs some roles with a bit more face time that doesn't involve the words "Beautician and the Beast 2".




73. Kathleen Robertson ("Scary Movie 2", "Tin Man"). Most of you will remember Kathleen Robertson as the chick who tried to seduce David Cross in "Scary Movie 2". If you're a sci-fi geek, you might also notice Robertson from her role as Azkadellia in "Tin Man", a warped re-telling of the classic "Wizard of Oz" movie. Or, if you're watching Showtime at two in the morning, you've seen Robertson in a bunch of "formidable" positions in the TV series "Boss". The common denominator in all those roles is this: Robertson is sexy in all of them. Outside of the Scary Movie sequel, there isn't much mainstream work to go by when breaking down Robertson's hotness. Most of her roles and movies are pretty obscure but, not since Demi Moore in "Disclosure", has a woman made a wearing a business suit look so damn good as Robertson does in "Boss", which might as well be a softcore "Disclosure" miniseries except without all the sexual harassment mumbo jumbo. As with many of the others on the list, Robertson needs to grab some roles that allow the world to see her somewhere other than when they're channel surfing in the middle of the night. Or, if you're compelled to waste a couple hours of your life, check her out in "Scary Movie 2" again. She's the only reason to watch it anyhow.



72. Reese Witherspoon("Cruel Intentions" "Walk The Line"). Witherspoon's career plays out a lot like her characters in the movies she's in: She's spent most of the time playing a goody-two-shoes and the entire time the audience waits for her to show off the goods but inevitably get stuck with some PG cleavage shots. Think about it. In nearly 20 years of doing movies, we've seen Reese naked once(a topless scene in a movie called "Twilight". Thankfully, not THAT "Twilight".). That was in 1998. Besides that, there was her getting finger-popped on a roller coaster by Mark Wahlberg in "Fear", her losing her V card to Ryan Phillipe in "Cruel Intentions", and now her getting it on with two seperate men in her most recent flick "This Means War". We get it. Not every talented actress feels the need to get naked in every role they play like, say, Angelina Jolie, does but a woman of Reese's hotness needs to give us more than a few bra and panties shots and a nude scene in a movie barely watched 90's movie over the course of a two-decade long career. The people demand it, Reese! "This Means War" showed off your sexy side after years of playing the cutesy virgin. We're tired of the Dawson's Creek act. Show the world those curves, girl!

71. Mariska Hargitay("Law & Order: SVU). One of my personal favorites. Mariska came out of nowhere once SVU started to progress. When the show first started, they gave her the traditional butch female cop look with the short hair and the heavy jacket. As the show started to take off though, they couldn't conceal Detective Benson's sexiness any longer. They needed to make the sexual tension between her and Stabler believable so down came the hair, loose came the first few buttons and BOOM! a star was born. By the 10th season, Hargitay was trolling the streets of NYC in skirts and low cut blouses looking like a cross between Lara Croft and Jill Valentine(Ah yes, two video game references for you people). Now, she's the show's biggest star and, at nearly 50, she's still as hot as ever. The show might not have the same aggressive flavor as the Benson/Stabler days but Hargitay makes the show worth watching for her raw sex appeal alone. There's not many women on television you can say that about.