"I'm not talking til Thursday. Get your faggot asses out of here."
I must confess, I've been waiting for months to bring the Cut His Mic Off Award back out again, so I'm glad that washed up Kansas City Chiefs running back Larry Johnson provided enough moronic musings to help accomplish this goal. First, let me address the latter comment. Much like Hawaii coach Greg McMackin(our last Mic Cut recipient), anytime you use the word "faggot" with the media present, you're pretty much asking for a shit storm of epic proportions. This holds especially true for a man like Larry Johnson, who spent the last few years facing questions about his alleged abusive run-ins with various members of the opposite sex. So it's a bit humorous that a man who gets his jollies by putting his hands on women would question SOMEONE ELSE'S masculinity. That being said, the quote was believed to be mumbled under LJ's breath(which, granted, doesn't excuse it) and there is no audio of the comment as of yet(though word around town is it's coming). For now, we'll just take it as just an ironic appetizer to what was a main course of ignorant bullshit spewing from the mouth of a former star running back who may or may not have died three years ago.
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That brings me to Johnson's first comment. Taking LJ's advice, I searched Larry's pops(Larry Johnson Sr.), who is the defensive line coach for Penn St. University(which is the younger Johnson's alma mater, for those who don't know).
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As far as Larry Sr's credentials, he's been the DL coach for the Nittany Lions since 2000. The most notable linemen to enter the NFL under Papa LJ's reign? Former #1 overall pick and draft bust Courtney Brown, fellow first round busts Jimmy Kennedy and Michael Haynes as well as current Bills rookie Aaron Maybin(who isn't exactly setting the world on fire in his first season). Also, Penn St. hasn't exactly been racking up the BCS championships this decade. Their most recent resurgence was quelled by a clearly superior Iowa team that seems poised to take the Big Ten.
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Then, there's Haley's credentials. Haley's been an assistant since 1995, starting with the Jets as a wide receivers coach where his tutelage led to Keyshawn Johnson's first Pro Bowl season. In 2001 in the same position with the Bears, he breathed life into the career of Marty Booker and helped him get to the Pro Bowl as well. From 2004 to 2006, he was the passing game coordinator and receivers coach for Dallas Cowboys team that was leading an aerial assault thanks to an upstart QB named Tony Romo and a couple receivers you may have heard of in Terry Glenn and Terrell Owens. Most recently(and perhaps most notably), he spent last season as the orchestrator of an Arizona offense that carried the Cardinals to the Super Bowl. Not too shabby, if you ask me. As for LJ Jr. and Sr.? Hardly headed to Canton anytime soon.
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Speaking of pro careers, Yes, Great Grandmama did play in the pros with the Washington Redskins. For one season. For those scoring at home, that's a shorter career than Charles Rogers. As for Haley? LJ's right, he never played a down in the pros. You know else didn't? Bill Belichick, who has 3 Super Bowl rings in 4 Super Bowl appearances and, even if he was found to be the leader of the Ku Klux Klan, would still be heading to the Hall of Fame well before any member of the Johnson family. Another notable coach who never sniffed the pros as a player? Current Broncos wunderkind Josh McDaniels, who is only 6-0 in his first year as head coach with Denver.
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Want a list of some guys who were players and went on to be coaches? How about LJ's old buddy, Herm Edwards, who helped cast the death knell on LJ's career by riding him harder than Secretariat? You can currently find him on ESPN as an analyst after he stunk up both New York as coach of the Jets and Kansas City as coach of the Chiefs. Last I checked, LJ wasn't exactly best buds with Herm either. How about current Redskins coach Jim Zorn, who was great quarterback with the Seahawks back in the day? How's he doing as a head coach? Last I looked, Redskins Nation are willing to drive Zorn to the airport if it meant he'll never step foot in the Nation's capital.
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Of course, Larry, it's understandable to be frustrated after a curb-stomping like the one the Chargers gave you yesterday, but if you're going to open your mouth(or in this case, tweet), perhaps you should at least be, oh I don't know, PRODUCTIVE! Through 7 games so far this season, Larry Johnson has the fourth most carries of anyone in the league with 132. He currently has 358 yards, good for 19th in the NFL. He is averaging 2.7 yards per carry. He's also averaging 51 yards per game and hasn't sniffed the end zone once this season. Now, if this recent outbursts of ignorance(including a childish back and forth with a fan on Twitter in which LJ maturely called the man a fag and boasted about how he is "richer" than his blue collar counterpart) is public outcry for LJ to get on the first thing smoking out of KC, then perhaps he'll get his wish. My question is, where exactly does he think he's going afterward? You think teams are lined up for a childish, immature brat who is unable to keep his hands to himself when it comes to the ladies, and is averaging less yards per carry than Jerome Harrison?
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A piece of advice, Mr. Johnson, before you try to pull a play out of the Jay Cutler playbook on how to whine your way out of town, perhaps you should talk to Duece McAllister about what the job market is like for slow-footed running backs who are on the wrong side of 30?
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Until then, consider your mic cut off.
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