Last week was rougher than Brad Childress' pedophile beard as both myself and Gabe once again finished below .500 on our picks. Luckily for Gabe, he managed to shorten the gap between us(albeit one game). Gabe went 7-8 while I finished 6-9. For the season, I lead by four(83-61 to 79-65). Our horrible picking has managed to permeate into Week 11 as both of us whiffed on the Thursday nighter by forgetting that Carolina sucks out loud. So, hoping to bounce back, here's the rest of our picks for Week 11:
Browns(+3.5) at Lions
Dave: Lions - One would believe that if the Browns were ever going to have something resembling a offensive outburst, it would come against a Lions defense that has routinely been steamrolled by the big play. Fortunately for Detroit, the Browns don't have a big play in their playbook and the one person capable of said big play(Josh Cribbs) is seeing stars like Shark LeVay in "Any Given Sunday". This game is essentially an eliminator for the #1 pick, with the loser having to fight off the Rams for a shot at Colt McCoy. I like Detroit's feistyness over the mediocrity that is a Eric Mangini-ran football team. Lions by 6.
Gabe: Browns - Both of these teams suck. I know Detroit at least has some pieces on offense that can do damage, but you never know if they are going to show up. I'll take the Browns because they are getting points.
Bills(+8.5) at Jaguars
Dave: Bills - Normally, teams tend to muster up some energy in the first week after their incumbent coach gets canned. It also helps that the Jags suck out loud as well, making a near 9-point spread ridiculous. Jacksonville has played some real scrubs this season(Rams, Chiefs, Titans) and played them close, so I like the Jags here, but only by 3.
Gabe: Bills - The Jags have zero pass defense, none. The Bills' offensive strength is their passing. I think 8.5 is too many points.
Gabe: Bills - The Jags have zero pass defense, none. The Bills' offensive strength is their passing. I think 8.5 is too many points.
Steelers(-10) at Chiefs
Dave: Steelers - Let's see, team that struggled moving the ball all season has now lost its two most recognizable and productive members of the offense in back-to-back weeks either to homophobia(Larry Johnson) or poop pills(Dwayne Bowe). Now, said team, has to face the defending Super Bowl champs who are pissed off after losing the North lead to Cincy last week. I think KC gets raped by Big Ben at Arrowhead....and yes, the pun is intended. Steelers by 17.
Gabe: Steelers - The Steelers will be snorting after losing the season sweep to their rivals, Cininnati, last week. I think Big Ben and the Steelers passing game shred the KC secondary. Pittsburgh will win by two touchdowns.
Colts (-1.5) at Ravens
Dave: Colts - The Ravens gave the Broncos their first loss a few weeks ago, a feat that looked much more remarkable before we inevitably realized that Denver is overrated. The Colts, meanwhile, had their undefeated record saved by a Bill Belichick brain fart. So you would think, with those factors in place, the Ravens are in line for a big win at home. However, Peyton Manning is in MVP mode and the Ravens woe begotten pass D just got worse with pass rush dynamo Terrell Suggs out for a month. Colts by 10.
Gabe: Colts - I'm picking up what Peyton Manning is puttin' down. I think this game is going to be close, and who can you count on in close games?...Peyton Manning. I'll take the points and take the Colts for the straight up win.
Falcons(+7) at Giants
Dave: Giants - I'll make a bold statement here......if the Giants can't beat Atlanta, at home, coming off a bye and without Michael Turner....then Tom Coughlin shouldn't have a job Monday morning. Since I'd hate for more of my paycheck to go to the unemployed and disenfranchised, I say the Giants get their act together and serve a hot plate of ass-whooping to the Dirty Birds. Giants by 9.
Gabe: Falcons - God help me, I think 7 is too many points. The G-men are coming off a bye and four straight losses, and should have every motivation to come out and make a statement. In those situations the Giants historically come out flat. The Falcon's will also be motivated to get a good road win. I think the Giants win, but it will be close.
Seahawks(+10) at Vikings
Gabe: Vikings - Seattle sucks. Minnesota doesn't, not by a long shot. Favre and co. go nuts on offense and Jared Allen and the rest of (arguably) the best D-Line in football hold the 'Hawks down. Vikings by 11.
Niners(+6.5) at Packers
Dave: Niners - I want to be encouraged, as a Packers fan, over last week's big win over Dallas. I do. I really want to be optimistic. That being said, the Packers have allowed 41 sacks in 9 games. They are playing a Niners team that is very stout defensively and possess one of the top run defenses in the NFL. That means Green Bay has to pass more, which means Aaron Rodgers will be sacked more. Do I think Green Bay loses at home to the inferior Niners? No. Do I think it will be tougher than people think? Yes. Remember, this team lost by 10 to the lowly Bucs. Packers by 3.
Gabe: Niners - The Packers are going to have a let down after last week's win. San Francisco has been up and down, but they always play hard. I think they'll try to hit Green Bay early and often. I think the Niners get the straight up win.
Gabe: Niners - The Packers are going to have a let down after last week's win. San Francisco has been up and down, but they always play hard. I think they'll try to hit Green Bay early and often. I think the Niners get the straight up win.
Saints (-10.5) at Bucs
Dave: Saints - After failing to cover two large spreads they could have easily managed against far inferior opponents in the past two weeks, I think the law of averages comes into play here and the Saints rout a Bucs team that has played tough behind rookie QB Josh Freeman. Drew Brees has another DREW 'MOTHERFUCKIN' BREES game here. Saints by 14.
Gabe: Saints - The Bucs are terrible. The Saints have not flexed their muscle in a while. I think they do and win huge. Saints by 17.
Gabe: Saints - The Bucs are terrible. The Saints have not flexed their muscle in a while. I think they do and win huge. Saints by 17.
Redskins(+11) at Cowboys
Dave: Cowboys - I've said this all season: If there's one thing the Cowboys do well(and after last week, perhaps it's the only thing they do well), it's knowing how to slaughter the NFL's basement teams. It happened against Tampa Bay. It happened against Seattle. It will happen here. I know the win over Denver and Dallas' loss to GB might push the momentum in Washington's favor(especially given the spread), but the Cowboys know what a loss to their hated rivals will do on the P.R. front and they definitely don't want to make a tough game of this with another game coming 4 days from now on Thanksgiving(though that's against Oakland....not exactly much game-planning needed). Cowboys roll here, win by 13.
Gabe: Redskins - Eleven points should be too many in any NFC East match-up. This is a classic rivalry that always gets both teams jacked up. I think both teams will come out hard and the winner will win by 3.
Gabe: Redskins - Eleven points should be too many in any NFC East match-up. This is a classic rivalry that always gets both teams jacked up. I think both teams will come out hard and the winner will win by 3.
Cardinals(-9) at Rams
Dave: Cardinals - One of the best run defenses facing a team that can only move the ball on the ground, with a chance to put away the division? Yeah, I'd say I like Arizona big here.
Gabe: Cardinals - The Rams played well last week, but they'll get over that. The Cardinals offense should be able to move the ball all over the Rams. Cardinals by 14, at least.
Jets(+10.5) at Patriots
Dave: Jets - Remember Week 1 of what ended up being the Pats' undefeated regular season when the Patriots steam-rolled the Jets and Brady-to-Moss became the new Montana-to-Rice? The Jets sure do. Another factor is the coaching. Belichick got his overhyped "genius" exposed by his retarded call on 4th and 2 last week while Rex Ryan tried to rally the troops by crying in a post-game meeting after Gang Green's loss to the Jags. Look, if your guys can't get up to knock off a hated rival the week after your head coach cries like Nancy Kerrigan, you don't deserve to play this game. Jets get the sweep and pull off the upset and Belichick gets another week of media scrutiny. Jets by 3.
Gabe: Patriots - This is easy to me. Bill Belichick in a revenge game. I'll take that anytime. The Pats will win big.
Bengals (-9) at Raiders
Dave: Bengals - You had me at Raiders' starting QB Bruce Gradkowski.....
Gabe: Bengals - Ditto on what Dave said.
Gabe: Bengals - Ditto on what Dave said.
Chargers(-3) at Broncos
Dave: Chargers - Sometimes, you can just see the headlines before they happen, and who can't see "Broncos Choke Away Big AFC West Lead in Loss To Chargers At Home"? It happened last year, and there's really nothing to make me think it won't happen again today. Chargers by 6.
Gabe: Chargers - The Chargers are playing really well right now. The Broncos are not. Nuff said. Chargers by a touchdown.
Eagles (-3) at Bears
Dave: Eagles - Last time these two teams played on Sunday night, Chicago pulled off the upset and Philly's redzone and short-yardage woes came to light. However, at that time, Matt Forte looked like a future star, they had competency at QB, and Mike Shanahan wasn't breathing down Lovie Smith's neck. Eagles need this one bad with their division foes facing easy games this week and then short-rest games on Thursday, so I like Philly to extend Jay Cutler's SNF record to 0-4 and win this one by double digits.
Gabe: Eagles - Philly's defense is going to eat Jay Cutler alive. The Chicago defense is old and slow, but other than that they are outstanding. The Eagles are going to get pass happy as they always do and win big.
Gabe: Eagles - Philly's defense is going to eat Jay Cutler alive. The Chicago defense is old and slow, but other than that they are outstanding. The Eagles are going to get pass happy as they always do and win big.
Titans (+4) at Texans
Dave: Titans - Sometimes, you have to go with the hot hand. Vince Young is 3-0 and he's playing at home on primetime TV. Add that to the fact that Chris Johnson is determined to put the Titans on his back and shock the world by making the playoffs. Plus, Steve Slaton is back at RB for Houston, which means the chances for a costly fumble just increased 200%. I think the Texans fire back at Chris Johnson with a Johnson of their own, Andre 3000, and we have an entertaining Monday nighter that is inevitably won by way of a costly turnover in the final two minutes. Titans by 3.
Gabe: Titans - The Texans have turned their defense around from being the absolute worst in the league, to the absolute best. But, the reason they were ranked last at the being of the year is because Chris Johnson went to work on them, to the tune of almost 300 total yards. I think CJ goes nuts again and the Titans win a close game.
Gabe: Titans - The Texans have turned their defense around from being the absolute worst in the league, to the absolute best. But, the reason they were ranked last at the being of the year is because Chris Johnson went to work on them, to the tune of almost 300 total yards. I think CJ goes nuts again and the Titans win a close game.
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