Week 8 Picks

Due to technical difficulties beyond our control, Gabe missed out on Week 7 last week. It was a shame, too, as The Big Caprese posted his best week so far this season. In the interest of fairness, we'll let Week 7 go as a bye and my big week last week will not be added to the overall score.

Anyway, Captain Adobo vs. Young Tony Soprano.....Round 8.....let's get to it.

Last Week: (Dave: 9-5, Gabe: n/a)

Season: (Dave: 37-46-3, Gabe: 41-42-3)

Broncos (+1) at Niners (from London)

Dave: Broncos - Tough call. In one corner, you have a team that just got absolutely housed by Oakland, allowing the Raiders to drop a point shy of a 60-burger. In the other corner, there's San Fran, who got beat by previously winless Carolina and had to eek out its only win the week before against the Raiders. The Niners have been the season's biggest disappointment and I think Denver's better than the team that got taken to the shed last week. Broncos by 6 in another ugly one across the pond.

Gabe: Broncos - When in doubt this year, take the AFC over the NFC. I think both of these teams aren't good. Like Dave says, this game will be ugly. Broncos win.

Jags (+6.5) at Cowboys

Dave: Cowboys - The nail was put in the coffin for both the Cowboys and my keeper league big money team when Tony Romo's clavicle snapped like a twig at the hands of Marc Anthony Jr's Giants. The Jags have the league's worst defense and, while I think we'll see Stephen McGee(the new backup, from Texas A & M) at some point this season, Jon Kitna is serviceable enough to whoop on Jacksonville at home. Cowboys are in desperation mode as they get ready to do the world a favor and get Jon Gruden out of the booth and onto the sidelines. Cowboys by 13.

Gabe: Cowboys - Here's the deal...if the Cowboys can't get up and win this game, at home, after being pounded by my Giants, against a terrible Jags team, then they need pull a Gabe Week 7 and not show up for the rest of the year. The Cowboys will win easily, and give their fans more meaningless hope and fill them with even more meaningless bluster. Boys by 13.

Redskins (+2.5) at Lions

Dave: Redskins - Matt Stafford's back and just in time to get his bell rung by the The Orak Attack(Brian Orakpo). The Lions' calling card this week is finding ways to lose and Stafford's going to need a half to shake the rust off before he starts launching bombs to "Megatron". Redskins are always due for a letdown, as we saw with the loss to St. Louis, but I like them to pull off the W here. Redskins by 6.

Gabe: Lions - As I said when the Skins played the Rams, this exactly the kind of game the Redskins always lose. Matthew Stafford will not employ the Jay Cutler chuck and duck that made DeAngelo Hall look like a superstar last week. I think the Skins do have a letdown and the Lions win by a touchdown.

Packers (+6) at Jets

Dave: Jets - This one was a bit difficult, too. The Jets are going to win this game, but can they beat a Packers team, that has lost all three of its games by a combined nine points, by more than a field goal? New York gets Revis Island back and healthy and that takes away the one thing Green Bay does well, which is pass. I see L.T. and Shonn Greene go for 100 a piece, Rex Ryan going for a goddamn snack at halftime, and Mike McCarthy feeling the temperature under his caboose heat up after this one's over. Jets by 10.

Gabe: Jets - The Packers always seem to play in close games. They never seem to have a runaway, either direction. The problem is they are playing the Jets who have a great defense and an efficient offense. They thrive on the close game. Jets by a touchdown.

Panthers (+3) at Rams

Dave: Rams - Much like Matt Ryan did a couple years ago, Sam Bradford has made me put my foot in my mouth after doubting him in April. He's putting up numbers with wideouts pulled straight off of XFL rosters and Steven Jackson, while beat up, is still a force. On defense, Gabe's former mancrush Coach Spags has finally brought a pass rush to Nellyville. James Hall has been getting to the quarterback, as has former Wahoo Chris Long. None of this bodes well for Matt Moore and the Panthers, who are riding high after notching their first W but may be in over their heads against a surprisingly decent Rams squad. Rams by 6.

Gabe: Rams - Are the Rams for real? Maybe so. They play good defense, especially rushing the passer, so whoever is under center for the Panthers is going to have a long day. I think the Panthers will be frustrated on offense and Steve Smith starts punching people by halftime. Rams by 7.

Dolphins (+2) at Bengals

Dave: Dolphins - I know they're at home, but how can you favor the Bengals against any halfway decent team with how up-and-down they've been all year? Carson Palmer has regressed into USC sophomore Carson Palmer, Cedric Benson is back to 2008 Cedric Benson, Ochocinco has disappeared and this Bengals D? Yikes. Who would have thought T.O. would be Cincy's lone bright spot? As for Miami, Brandon Marshall's presence has made Davonne Bess a household name and, against a Bengals D with no pass rush, Chad Henne should be able to spread it around. Phins by 7.

Gabe: Dolphins - Carson Palmer only plays well when his team is down four touchdowns and the opposing defense goes into base defense. That's when the blinders come off and all of sudden and can see the T.Ocho show on the field. (An aside; the T.Ocho show is real, it's on Versus.) So, either this game is not a runaway and Palmer plays like shit, or it is a runaway and the Bengals are losing but playing inspired football. Either way, they lose.

Bills (+7.5) at Chiefs

Dave: Bills - It's crazy. First time I pick against my wife's Chiefs this season and it's against....Buffalo....AT Arrowhead? I know. I'm asking for trouble. Still, Buffalo may have found something in Ryan Fitzpatrick, who slung it pretty well against a much tougher Ravens D last week. I see the Chiefs winning this one, but I can see Buffalo hanging with KC enough to lose by less than a touchdown. Chiefs by 6.

Gabe: Chiefs - I think the Bills offensive emergence will be short lived. If there is one thing KC can do it's stop the pass. The Bills may have snuck up on the Ravens, but they won't do that to the Chiefs. Professor Fitzpatrick and rest of the Bills' O comes back down to earth and the Chiefs win by 10.

Titans (+3) at Chargers

Dave: Titans - I don't care if it's Vince Young, Kerry Collins, Neil O'Donnell, Billy Volek, Chris Chandler or even Steve McNair's corpse at QB for Tennessee, I have no faith in the Chargers pulling out the W. Yes, this is around the time San Diego flips the switch and rights the ship, but do they have the talent to that this time around? Ryan Mathews has been a bust, Vincent Jackson's still out, Malcolm Floyd and Antonio Gates are banged up and, oh-by-the-way (Gruden voice) Tennessee's pretty good. Chris Johnson runs all over this toothless Chargers D and scores on the ground and through the air and the Kenny Britt touchdown streak continues one more week. Titans by 14.

Gabe: Titans - Not much disparity in my and Little Silvio Dante's picks this week. I agree, the Chargers are toothless and the Titans run all over them. Titans by 10.

Bucs (+3) at Cardinals

Dave: Bucs - Tampa Bay coach Raheem Morris must have been at AT&T Park and got some free doobies after the Giants game(Google it!) when he said Tampa Bay was the best team in the NFC, but the Bucs are better than people give them credit for. Josh Freeman, as Bill Simmons is fond of saying, just wins football games. Cadillac Williams, while so washed up his fingers should wrinkle, still has some juice left(if not, LaGarrette Blount may be able to punch in a score or two.......see what I did there?......cricket...cricket.....moving on). Meanwhile, "The Scorin' Mormon" Max Hall gets Steve Breaston back but it won't be enough just yet. Freeman will make plays with his arm and legs and Tampa wins a close one but, sorry Raheem, you still aren't the team to beat in the NFC. Bucs by 3.

Gabe: Bucs - The Cardinals are terrible. The Bucs use this silly "keep the game close and then let Josh run the two minute drill" game plan, but that shit works. Bucs get the outright win in this week's installment of "Game Gabe wouldn't watch if they were played in his backyard."

Seahawks (+2.5) at Raiders

Dave: Seahawks - After scoring 59 points on division rival Denver, the Raiders may have shot their load for the next couple weeks. Lest we forget, this Oakland squad has had its issues scoring in weeks past. Seattle has a sneaky good defense, and Darren McFadden, while finally breaking away from bust status finally, will find it much more difficult to break loose against the 'Hawks. I see Jason Campbell throwing a couple picks and Seattle pulling out another ugly W.

Gabe: Raiders - Speaking of games I wouldn't watch if they were played in my backyard....I don't know how this game will shake out. The Raiders are so dysfunctional and unpredictable. Apparently Gradkowski is healthy enough to be a back-up, but not start over Campbell? It must mean he lost his leg in practice and they are hoping the prosthetic makes it to Oakland before game time, because a one-legged Gradkowski is better than a full strength Campbell. That said, I'm still not getting off of my Seattle suck bandwagon. Oakland by a touchdown.

Vikings (+5) at Patriots

Dave: Patriots - Even Marlee Matlin is tired of hearing about Brett Favre and his bum ankle and the typical "Will he or won't he play?" drama. Look, Favre's playing because Chilly knows he does more long term damage by benching Favre against his will(because he'll sulk all season or just flat out retire) than throwing him out there against New England and have him get hurt worse. Childress owes his extension to Favre. He begged Favre to come back. He can't turn his back on him now that the chips are down. Should he? Absolutely, but he won't. Like every other coach Favre has had, he will cowtow to "The Riverboat Gambler". The Favre drama has overshadowed two big stories here. One, Randy Moss returns to Beantown for the first time after being dealt almost a month ago. Second, this vaunted Vikings pass rush has apparently ducked into the hole the Chilean miners were pulled out of. "The Rhinestone Cowboy" Jared Allen? One sack. You know how you beat Bieber Brady and the Pats? You smack him in the mouth. Minnesota hasn't proven they can do that. Pats stick it to Moss, win by 10.

Gabe: Patriots - The Pats and their luck. As Bill Simmons said earlier this week, is there not a better week to be playing the Vikings? Brett Favre will probably start on one good ankle, the Minny pass rush has disappeared, Brad Childress is trying to assert control but no one's listening. This just feels like a Pats runaway. New England by 14

Steelers (PK) at Saints

Dave: Steelers - Best Sunday night game so far. Steelers are the best team in the NFL and, while the loss of DE Aaron Smith hurts them big time, this Pittsburgh D is still formidable enough to stuff the Madden-cursed Saints. Saints will struggle to stop Rashard Mendenhall. Big Ben's rust still needs to be shaken off and that will make this game closer than it should be but I like Troy Polamalu to pick off a couple Brees passes and the Steelers win this one by a field goal.

Gabe: Steelers - The Saints have learned they can't just roll the ball out and win anymore. The Steelers play mean defense. The Saints have no running game and no more magic. Pittsburgh is going to smack the Saints in the mouth and win.

Texans (+5.5) at Colts

Dave: Colts - I've said this many times on this very website.....YOU DO NOT PICK AGAINST PEYTON MANNING AT NIGHT! Yes, Dallas Clark is out. So is Austin Collie. So is Joesph Addai. Yes, Houston waxed Indy in Week 1. I know that. You know that. Most importantly, Peyton knows that. Another factor that doesn't get talked about enough: Peyton's little brother Eli is starting to get MVP buzz. You think Peyton isn't going to want to both stick it to a division rival that upset them in the opener as well as show up his emerging younger brother? I see a Manning putting on a show on a Monday night for the second straight week. Colts shut down Arian Foster and Indy wins by a touchdown in a shootout.

Gabe: Colts - This is simple...no way the Texans sweep the Colts. Not this year, not next year, not any year in which Peyton Manning is still wearing the blue and white no. 18. And this game is on Monday Night. Nuff said. Colts by 1o.

Week 7 Picks

Despite improving two wins from last week, I still lost Week 6 to El Duquecito and dropped another two games on the season.



On to Week 7.....



Last Week: Dave (6-7-1) Gabe (8-5-1)



Season: Dave (37-46-3) Gabe (41-42-3)



Steelers (-3) at Dolphins



Dave: Steelers - Steelers are the best team in the NFL right now. Big Ben's back and Miami, for some reason, plays better on the road than they do in South Beach. I see Phins QB Chad Henne getting formally introduced to Troy Polamalu, James Harrison testing the league's limits on devastating hits and Rashard Mendenhall runs over a soft Miami run D. Steelers by 10.



Bengals (+3.5) at Falcons



Dave: Falcons - Last week's stomp-out by Philly aside, I still think Atlanta is one of the best, if not the best, teams in the NFC. Cincy has been a unmitigated disaster. Carson Palmer's taken a few steps back. The Bengals D can't rush the passer, even with my personal man-crush Micheal Johnson. Matt Ryan goes nuts on the Bengals as Atlanta experiences the most excitement in the ATL since Da Brat dropped "Funkdafied".



Jaguars (+9) at Chiefs



Dave: Chiefs - Dwayne Bowe's stone hands two weeks ago and a horseshit pass interference call against Houston last week are the only things keeping the Chiefs from being the league's sole undefeated team. Don't think they don't know that as they get the crap-tastic Jags and third string QB Todd Bouman in the friendly confines of Arrowhead. I see KC anger-bangs Jacksonville, led by a big night by Jamaal Charles. KC by 13.



Eagles (+3) at Titans



Dave: Titans - Jeff Fisher has always owned Philly. I'm a little more sold on Kevin Kolb than I was, maybe two weeks ago, but he's still above-average at best. We'll see how he does against a decent Tennessee defense. On the flip side, who on this Eagles D is slowing down Chris Johnson? Nate Allen? Gabe's man-crush Akeem Jordan? Maybe they'll sign Jeremiah Trotter by kickoff. Also, Kenny Britt is slowly moving into Beast Mode. I'll take the sneaky-good Titans by 6.



Redskins (+3) at Bears



Dave: Redskins - The Bears aren't good. There isn't a W in that win column that they legitimately earned. Washington's frisky and that D is going to have a field day on that high school offensive line of Chicago's. The Sulking Jay Cutler Face makes a cameo by halftime after Brian Orakpo puts him in the dirt a few times. Donovan McNabb puts on a show for his hometown and Ryan "Blame It On" Torain breaks the century mark. Skins by 7.



Browns (+13.5) at Saints



Dave: Saints - I'd like Cleveland's chances of covering better if they weren't trotting out Colt McCoy once again. Gregg Williams is going to blitz McCoy to death and Drew Brees will temporarily shake off the Madden Curse and spreads the ball around against a young Browns D. Reggie Bush could make an appearance as well, and that only makes Cleveland's chances of putting up a fight that much more grim. Saints by 17.



Bills (+13) at Ravens



Dave: Ravens - If the Ravens are the elite team that their press clippings suggest, then this game is over by the end of the first quarter. Ryan Fitzpatrick has played ok, as of late, but this Ravens defense is going to pound him into the floor. Ray Rice goes for 200 combined yards, Flacco throws for a couple scores and Baltimore's D makes a house call or two for the home crowd. Ravens by 21.



49ers (-3) at Panthers



Dave: Panthers - Niners are better than their record but, having to travel cross country for an early game after just barely beating Oakland last week? That's a tough co-sign. Matt Moore is a bit more competent than Jimmy Clausen, even with the concussed dome, and Steve Smith is going to torch this San Fran secondary. Panthers get their first win and pull off a mild upset against the league's biggest disappointment this season. Panthers by 6.



Rams (+3) at Bucs



Dave: Rams - Not sure if last week's win against San Diego counts as an "upset" given how bad San Diego has been all year, but the Rams are still decent enough to take care of business against the Bucs. Now, Tampa Bay isn't terrible either. Josh Freeman has shown the ability to make plays, even without a wideout of note, but the running game is a bit beat up. So, I'll give the slight edge to Steven Jackson, Sam Bradford and the Rams of Nellyville.



Cardinals (+6) at Seahawks



Dave: Seahawks - How well do you like the chances of an undrafted rookie QB with a weak running game going on the road in one of the league's loudest stadiums against a team that's pulled off a couple solid wins thus far? The Cards get Steve Breaston back, but unless they can get Beanie Wells going, this offense will continue to sputter. 'Hawks by 10.



Patriots (+2.5) at Chargers



Dave: Patriots - The Pats, coming off a big win against Baltimore, are underdogs to a Chargers team that's now lost to Oakland and St. Louis? Really? The chance to save Norv Turner's job ended last week against the Rams. Shawne Merriman, currently awaiting his exile, will rejuvenate his career in Baltimore. The mishandling of the Vincent Jackson(a Redskin next year) and Marcus McNeill's contracts should spell doom for cheapskate moron GM A.J. Smith and the Patriots should run the Chargers over as Brady spreads the wealth. Pats by 14.



Raiders (+8.5) at Broncos



Dave: Broncos - Umm......the Raiders are trotting out Kyle Boller at QB. Nothing to see here. Broncos by 17.



Vikings (+2.5) at Packers



Dave: Vikings - This isn't just me picking against my boys in hopes of a jinx. The Packers can't rush the passer without Clay Matthews(although "The Ultimate Warrior" looks like a go for Sunday night, albeit hobbled). The run game is non-existant. Favre, for as bad as his arm hurts, won't let that get in the way of him sticking it to his old mates yet again(lest we forget, the Vikes swept Green Bay last year). Moss returns to scene of his infamous mooning. At the risk of being made fun of by Gabe for a wrestling reference, this one should be a (Jim Ross voice) "slobberknocker", but I have no faith in my boys to pull this one out. Vikings by 9.



Giants (+3) at Cowboys



Dave: Giants - I knew San Diego and Dallas were going to be bad this year, but if you would have told me Wade Phillips and Norv Turner would be more likely to get canned than Eric Mangini and Raheem Morris, I would't have believed you. Look, I told you Dallas' offensive line was terrible, and now they go up against a devastating Giants pass rush. Over/under on sacks Romo takes should be around 4, and Romo picks about 2, and I'd take the over on both. Giants put the nail in Wade's coffin and Gabe nearly chokes on his Goya juice. Big Blue by 9.

Week 6 NFL Picks

Guess who's back??

The excitement of our trip to FedEx Field to see his boys must have fried Mr. Mario Brothers' brain. Dave mustered only four wins and picked a few monumental losses. (How's that Detroit 40-burger taste?) I, on the other hand, was sensible, thoughtful, and watched eight of my picks come through. I believe that gives this Puerto Rican the season series lead for the moment, although we are both still under .500 for the year.

Last Week:

Gabe: 8-4

Dave: 4-8

Season:

Gabe: 33-37-2

Dave: 31-39-2

On to week 6 and as always, these lines are courtesy of Danny Sheridan at the USA Today.

San Diego (-9) at St. Louis

Gabe: San Diego - Last week the Rams were housed by the Lions. San Diego lost to Oakland. The Chargers and Norv Turner are notoriously slow starters and this is the point in the season when they usually start turning things around. Is there a better opponent against which to right the ship than St. Louis? I don't think so. Chargers by double digits.

Dave: San Diego - Rams wideouts are dropping like flies. I think they are another season-ending injury from dialing up Az Hakim to make a come back. I still think San Diego sucks, especially after how violently they shit the bed last week against Oakland, but even an epic failure like the Chargers should be able to take care of business against a wounded Rams squad. Chargers by 10.

Kansas City (+4.5) at Houston

Gabe: Kansas City - The Chiefs finally came back to Earth last week. Houston looked terrible in losing to my Giants. The Texans have schizophrenic all year and I think both teams will have a hangover. This game appears to be a test of strengths, good offense versus good defense. Quick, which team in the NFL is giving up the fewest points per game? Trick question, it's the Atlanta Falcons. But a scant quarter point per game behind them is Kansas City. I don't know if KC will pull out the win, but I think they'll keep it close. Put me down for Houston by 3.

Dave: Kansas City - I really don't know what to make of the Texans. I mean, they should be at least above average by now given the talent they have, right? After getting smoked by The Big Adobo's Giants last week, I'm back into "Believe It When I See It" mode with Houston. The loss of Duane Brown has clearly muted this offense and the D can't be stout forever, even with Brian Cushing back. As for Kansas City, Dwayne Bowe's Roberto Duran hands against Indy kept them from possibly pulling an upset over the Colts or, at the very least, covering the spread and giving me my 5th win. Regardless, this is a good test for Kansas City and I think the Chiefs pass it with flying colors.

Baltimore (+2.5) at New England

Gabe: Baltimore - This pick has less to do with New England and more to do with how much I love the way the Ravens' defense is playing right now. Baltimore is also riding a three game winning streak. When this team is on a roll they are almost unstoppable, especially with Ray Lewis leading them. Fifteen years in the league and that guy is still an animal. Ravens win outright in a mild upset.

Dave: Baltimore - Lest we forget, the last time these two teams met, the Ravens steamrolled the Pats in the playoffs. Since then, the Pats D got older, Brady's hair got gayer and his #1 weapon is now catching balls from Brett Favre and his penis. I know ESPN would love for New England to pull it out here so they can spend another week slurping the Pats and running "Life Without Moss" specials and leading Sportscenter with Justin Bieber battle raps about Tom Terrific, but I see the Ravens D bringing the lumber here and shutting Brady's Bunch down. Ravens by 14.

New Orleans (-4) at Tampa Bay

Gabe: New Orleans - The Saints, to quote something Tony Kornheiser said this week, have to learn that they just can't roll the ball out there and win because they're the champs. They have to play, and play well, to win. They have a target on their back every week. Earlier I said the best team against which to right the ship is St. Louis. Well, it might also be Tampa Bay. The Saints need this game to get back on track and I think they coast and win by 10.

Dave: Tampa Bay - I have no faith in the defending champs. None. Gabe has a better chance of playing the lead role in the Jon Secada biopic than the Saints do of making the playoffs this year. Getting housed by the lowly Cards led by "Mad" Max Hall? Seriously? I can't help but think Drew Brees is feeling the effects of the "Madden Curse" and this offense is sputtering because of it(well, that, and their failure to get anyone resembling a running back in the offseason). Meanwhile, the Bucs may very well be not horrible. They're young. They have a terrible coach, but they have some potential. Enough potential to keep things close against the Saints? I say yes.

Atlanta (+1.5) at Philadelphia

Gabe: Atlanta - I have no idea who to pick in this game. I hate the Eagles, so go Falcons!

Dave: Atlanta - I'd like this matchup more if a. Mike Vick was starting and b. It was in Atlanta. Vick will probably get some work in here after Kevin Kolb checks down to LeSean McCoy for the 11th time(read: after the 4th drive), and it wouldn't surprise me if he busts up his ribs again trying to stick it to his old mates. Still, Atlanta may be the best team in the NFC and the Eagles have gotten very lucky all season with the way they've pulled some of these wins out(especially against SF last week). Falcons by 6.

Detroit (+10) at N.Y. Giants

Gabe: Detroit - Don't let either of last week's games fool you. Both teams will be flying high after their wins. C.C. Brown has been making comments about Eli and the New York media is blowing them out of proportion. The Giants defense is playing great right now, but this is exactly the kind of the game that causes the Giants to shit the bed. I think they'll win, but ten points is way too many. Giants by a touchdown.

Dave: New York - 10 points is a lot to hand Capt. Flan of San Juan's Giants, but look at the ass-whooping Big Blue has put on Chicago and Houston the last two weeks. The Lions may have looked good against St. Louis last week, but their O-Line is too porous to stop this New York pass rush. I think Shaun Hill gets knocked out, Matt Stafford gets rushed in, and the Giants have this thing won by halftime. Giants by 17.

Seattle (+6) at Chicago

Gabe: Chicago - Seattle sucks and the Bears are good enough to beat bad teams at home, I think. Jay Cutler will have a good game and the Bears win by double digits.

Dave: Chicago - In all honesty, I don't know if EITHER of these teams are any good. Bears had eek out a win against Carolina, granted without Jay Cutler, and before that, they got their shit rocked by the Giants. Seattle has pulled off a couple upsets, but they aren't much to sweat either. I think Cutler has a bad day at the office coming off that concussion but Matt Forte carries the Bears to a 7-point W.

Miami (+3) at Green Bay

Gabe: Miami - Last week Dave and I witnessed the Packers' collapse in Washington first hand. When Clay Matthews Jr. went down it was like the air was let out of the Packers' defense. They are also without Jermichael Finley and a bunch of other players. That's just too many injuries. I'm calling the Dolphins' straight up win in my....wait for it...sorry Dave...upset special!

Dave: Miami - I thought it would take at least until midseason before I started picking my Packers' opponents to win in an effort to jinx them. Nope. This Packers team is more beat up than Rihanna after the BET Awards. Finley's out. Grant's out. Barnett's out. A-Rod's woozy. Clay's hobbled. I think this one will be tighter than a R.Kelly playdate but I have no faith in my boys to pull one out after last week's debacle(although, the Redskins owe that W to some really shitty officiating).

Cleveland (+14) at Pittsburgh

Gabe: Pittsburgh - Cleveland might be starting Jake Delhomme at quarterback. Pittsburgh is at home, it's a division game, and the Browns suck out loud. Steelers by 20.

Dave: Pittsburgh - Whether it's Jake Delhomme starting, as Young Don Omar suggests, or Colt McCoy, as ESPN is reporting, the Browns stand as much of a chance of beating Pittsburgh as Mary Kate Olsen does of beating Kirstie Alley in a pie-eating contest. Big Ben is back, and even though he's going to be rusty, this Steelers team is too good not to drop Cleveland on their heads.

N.Y. Jets (-3.5) at Denver

Gabe: N.Y. Jets - I now believe in Kyle Orton. I also believe in the Jets' defense. I also believe that good defense beats good offense nine times out of ten. Give me the Jets, their D, and a seven point win.

Dave: Jets - Kyle Orton has made the Broncos look like geniuses for pulling off that Jay Cutler trade(even if they did botch the draft picks in said deal), but it's asking a lot to have him pick apart this Jets D with no running game. Speaking of running game, L.T. owns the Broncos and I expect that trend to continue. Jets by 14.

Oakland (+7) at San Francisco

Gabe: Oakland - Can San Francisco lose six in a row? To quote their head coach..."Can't do it. Won't do it." If they can't get riled up and pull out a win, to save their season, against their bay area rivals, then they should just pack it in. That said, seven points is too many. This is going to be a close game either way.

Dave: San Francisco - Screw it, I'm game. If Detroit taught us anything last week, it's that a desperate team with talent playing an inferior opponent is going to eventually put it all together and wreck shop. The Niners can't possibly be this bad. Is a touchdown a lot to give an 0-5 team? Sure, but the Raiders are due for a let down after last week's upset and nothing says disappointment better than the words "Starting QB Jason Campbell". Niners by 9.

Dallas (+1.5) at Minnesota

Gabe: Minnesota - Who needs this win more? I don't know. Both teams need this win to keep their seasons from unraveling. Dallas has no leadership and Minnesota has bad leadership. Both teams are among the most talented in the league, on both sides of the ball. I'll take Minnesota to win because they are at home and because they might have a nutty quarterback who makes bad decisions, but they don't have a coaching staff that doesn't understand how to use their talent. Jason Garrett and Wade Philips should both be prepping their resumes.

Dave: Dallas - I'm really going to regret this pick. Randy Moss has always owned the Cowboys after Jerry's boys passed on him in the draft. The problem is, Moss is now catching his passes from Brett Favre and his penis, and the Cowboys, well, they've ALWAYS owned Favre. I think Favre's ego forces him to go out there and play with that bum elbow and he ends up either getting knocked out by halftime or just completely throwing this game away. Cowboys need this one a little more, so I'll begrudgingly take the 'Boys here.

Indianapolis (-3) at Washington

Gabe: Indianapolis - Washington got lucky last weekend and Indy struggled when they shouldn't have. I think Indy flexes their muscle under the lights. Peyton Manning simply does not lose in prime time. Indy by a touchdown.

Dave: Indianapolis - Read this very carefully: YOU DO NOT GO AGAINST PEYTON MANNING AT NIGHT. You don't do it. Ever. Meanwhile, who is Dan Snyder blowing to get the Redskins on Sunday night this many times in the first 6 weeks of the season? Colts by 13.

Tennessee (-3) at Jacksonville

Gabe: Tennessee - Both teams are totally one dimensional on offense. The Titans can at least play a little defense. They'll stop Mojo and in by 6.

Dave: Tennessee - Both of these teams were terrible last year. What made any of the schedule-makers think this game will be watchable in primetime? Because it's Chris Johnson vs. Maurice Jones-Drew? So what! I'll take the Titans here because they have the better back, the D is a bit more competent, and Kenny Britt is starting to come into his own. Titans by 7 in a game you couldn't pay me to watch.

Week 5 Picks

There's this old saying...When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. I wish. Apparently it is going to take at least four or five weeks for me to get the feel of the NFL season and be able to make some correct predictions. I beat Dave by one game last week, but I'm still eight games under .500, and we are only four weeks into the season.

Here's the breakdown:

Last Week: Dave - 4-8, Gabe - 5-7

For the season:

Dave:

27-31-2

Gabe:

25-33-2

So the Big Margerhita Pizza has a two game lead in the season series, but neither of us is really tearing it up.

Quick notes on Week 5. The Boom Roasted boys will be taking a field trip to our nation's capital (OK, technically Maryland) to watch Dave's Packers take on the Redskins. I'm going to wear a Giants jersey to the game, to piss everyone off. D.C. might not be the same after tomorrow. Also, if you had the Kansas City Chiefs as the last undefeated team in the NFL, you're better at picking games than we are. Of course, that doesn't take much.

Now for the picks. As always, the odds are Danny Sheridan's from the USA Today.

Denver (+7) at Baltimore

Gabe: Baltimore - Ray Rice is fully healthy and will start. Baltimore is coming off of a huge win over Pittsburgh. Denver is coming off of a big win over the Titans. Who is more likely to suffer a hangover? Denver. This week Matthew Berry said on ESPN.com that Kyle Orton has become an every-week-no-matter-the-matchup-starter. I don't see that. The Ravens defense is mean. Give me the Ravens by nine.

Dave: Denver - I can't trust this Ravens offense to separate themselves enough from anyone to give them the nod in a spread higher than three. The Broncos play good D against the run, which will slow an already ailing Ray Rice and I think this becomes more of a shootout than people think. I like Baltimore to get the W here, but it will be close. Ravens by a field goal.

Jacksonville (+1.5) at Buffalo

Gabe: Buffalo - Don't be fooled by last week, Jacksonville always...always...gets up for playing Indy. Buffalo has enough of a secondary to keep Jacksonville one-dimensional on offense. Buffalo's offense might be coming together too. I predict this turning into a little shootout. Buffalo by three.

Dave: Jacksonville - I agree with Gabe. Don't be fooled by last week. The Jags still suck. Lucky for them, Buffalo sucks more. What has anyone seen from the Bills to warrent them being favorites at home against ANYONE, let alone a team coming off a big win against Indy? Not only that, they just traded away their most effective offensive threat thus far(Marshawn Lynch). The Bills pass D will make things difficult for David Garrard but Jacksonville still has MoJo, and I like them for the "upset".

Kansas City (+7) at Indianapolis

Gabe: Indianapolis - Last week Indy lost to Jacksonville. This week they are going to be angry. I'd take them and give the points this week if they were on the road, playing the NFC Pro Bowl team, and only getting four points per touchdown. No way the not-as-good-as-their-record Chiefs keep it close. Indy by 10.

Dave: Kansas City - I may be going to the well one too many times with KC here, but is it possible the Chiefs are actually sneaky good? They don't give up a bunch of big plays on D. They have home run threats on offense and they get good field position on special teams. They are well-coached and they had an extra week to prepare. Indy's D gives up a lot of big plays. Could they give up a long run to Jamaal Charles or Dexter McCluster here or there to keep things close? I think so. Colts by 6.

St. Louis (+3) at Detroit

Gabe: Detroit - The Rams are what the Lions were last year. Rookie QB. A few weapons on offense. Unknown defensive talent. Next year the Rams could be decent. This year they lose to the Lions by seven.

Dave: St. Louis - Rams are pretty decent on defense. They are a legit 2-2. The Lions have suffered some tough breaks, but there's an old cliche that states good teams find ways to win games they shouldn't and bad teams find ways to lose games they should win. The Lions had every opportunity to beat Green Bay last week, and couldn't fire the killshot. Sure, they are due for a win here after four tough losses, but I'll pick Detroit to pull one out when I actually see them do it first.

Atlanta (-3) at Cleveland

Gabe: Atlanta - The Falcons escaped last week. Cleveland's biggest weapon on offense is running back Peyton Hillis. Here's a secret, the Falcons are 11th in the league against the run. Dirty Birds by nine.

Dave: Atlanta - Peyton Hillis is playing with a thigh injury. Jake Delhomme is back at QB for Cleveland. You know what that means for the Falcons defense? FIELD DAY! I see Dunta Robinson running back a pick-6 here and Matt Ryan and company letting off the big guns on the road. Falcons by 14.

Tampa Bay (+6.5) at Cincinnati

Gabe: Cincinnati - It looks like Carson Palmer has busted out of his funk. He and T.O. got nice last week. (Look at that. It took five weeks for me to use that phrase.) Unfortunately they still lost. Tampa Bay doesn't many weapons and Cincy is at home. I'll say Cincy barely covers and wins by seven.

Dave: Cincinnati - This pick makes me a bit queasy. After all, Cincy just lost to lowly Cleveland and they haven't really been that impressive all season, save for a win against Baltimore. Tampa Bay is very young and they are years away from competing, which is why I think the Bengals run all over them, but I can't say that's a certianty. Bengals by a touchdown.

Chicago (+1.5) at Carolina

Gabe: Chicago - I think the Giants just sacked Jay Cutler again this morning. The Bears are probably going to be starting Todd Collins at quarterback. Now, if Julius Peppers were still a Panther I might feel differently about this game, but Carolina doesn't have the pass rush New York does. They are also going to be without their Steve Smith. Cutler might still be seeing flashes of blue in his sleep, but as people in Redskins country know, Todd Collins is absolutely capable of leading a team to wins, at least for the short term. Chicago bounces back and wins by four.

Dave: Chicago - Here's a fun prediction for you: Todd Collins puts on a show against lowly Carolina and we spend the next week or so with the inevitable "Should Chicago bench Jay Cutler and go with Collins?" controversy, followed by Cutler stinking it up next week under the pressure and we get countless stills of the "Sulking Cutler Face" that we saw in the first half of the Giants beatdown last week. The skids are greased for Collins here. The Panthers are without Steve Smith, making an already inept offense even more toothless. Carolina's D isn't going to expose this terrible Bears O-Line like Big Blue did and Collins is going to spread the ball around. Bears by 10.

Green Bay (-2.5) at Washington

Gabe: Green Bay - The Redskins only play well against good teams if those teams are in the NFC East. Check that...the Redskins only play well against teams from the NFC East. Otherwise they make sure to lose by two touchdowns. The Packers are going to carve the 'Skins up. Green Bay by 10.

Dave: Green Bay - At the end of the day, not getting Marshawn Lynch will be the death knell for the 2010 Packers. The lack of a running game is really this team's only Achilles' heel. Without a decent run game to wear down the clock, Green Bay can't put teams away in the 2nd half like they should be doing. What does that mean this week? Well, nothing, because Washington isn't very good. However, with Green Bay unable to run down the clock, I can see the Packers having to sweat this one out again. Pack by a field goal.

N.Y. Giants (+3) at Houston

Gabe: N.Y. Giants - I honestly can't get a bead on either of these teams, and I'm a Giants fan. The Giants really got their pass rush in order last week. If they can do that this week against Houston they could really stifle the Texans' passing game. Both teams have the talent on offense to turn this into a shootout. The Giants have that pass rush, but with Brian Cushing coming back and Mario Williams at end, the Texans have a nice pass rush too. Honestly, Eli is more prone to making a bone-headed mistake under pressure, but I think this game will be close. Upset special? Why not? Giants by 4.

Dave: Houston - When this season is over, no matter how it ends, Tiki Barber getting booed at halftime by the New York faithful will be my favorite moment of this season. It coudn't have happened to a more worthless human being. The Giants exposed Chicago as impostors last week and I expect the Texans to return the favor to Big Blue this week. Eli Manning isn't a good QB and now has to face a defense that is bringing back Brian Cushing and already has Mario Williams. On offense, the Texans may have the most balance of any team in the league. Arian Foster leads the league in rushing and, if Andre Johnson is somewhat healthy, he and Matt Schaub are a formidable pair. I like Houston to spread its wings here. Texans by 10.

New Orleans (-7) at Arizona

Gabe: New Orleans - Arizona sucks. They are starting something called Max Hall at quarterback. Max Hall sounds like a perfect name for a game show host. New Orleans rolls and wins by double digits.

Dave: New Orleans - As bad as New Orleans has been this season, this spread couldn't be high enough with how putrid Arizona has been. Now, Max Hall could be the goods. He was productive at BYU and the Saints D isn't intimidating enough to where Hall can't make plays here. Still, it's an undrafted rookie QB against the defending champs in a game the Saints have to dominate to prove themselves that they aren't on a Super Bowl hangover. Saints by 21.

San Diego (-6) at Oakland

Gabe: San Diego - Oakland play valiantly last week and gave Houston all they could take...and the Raiders still lost. They are so dysfunctional that I just can't trust them to win a game. Yes, they have one great corner, but San Diego has too many weapons. The Chargers by at least seven.

Dave: San Diego - I'm finally over Oakland as a sleeper. I kept making excuses for them week after week but, you know what, they just aren't good. The biggest contribution the 2010 Raiders will make will be landing Mark Ingram in New England come April. The passing game is inept. The running game has been decent, but Darren McFadden's out, so they'll sputter there, too. The defense is above average, but with the way San Diego's been moving the ball lately, Oakland's not going to be able to stop them. Chargers NEED this win here to keep hope alive(especially with the Chiefs facing the Colts) and I expect them to bludgeon the Raiders. Chargers by 14.

Tennessee (+6) at Dallas

Gabe: Tennessee - The Titans just lost a game they had no business losing. Dallas has had a bye week to figure out ways to mis-use their talent and not device a plan to stop Chris Johnson. CJ2K has not had a 40 point fantasy game in a few weeks and he is about due. Titans for the flat-out win in my true....wait for it....upset special!!! Titans by a touchdown.

Dave: Dallas - I really hate picking the Cowboys. I don't think they are a very good team and I actually enjoy it when they lose. Still, I'm not sold on Tennessee just yet. Their entire team is Chris Johnson and nothing else. They'd probably have CJ2K play on defense and return kicks if there wasn't a risk of injury. Cowboys showed their potential against Houston two weeks ago. They are well-rested and desperate AND at home. It pains me to write this, but Cowboys by 10.

Philadelphia (+3) at San Francisco

Gabe: Philadelphia - Last week I said San Francisco was going to play with pride and not go to 0-4. They played their ass off, but still lost. I don't think they'll be able to get up for this game like they did last week. Kevin Kolb is going to have a chip on his shoulder when he makes this start. I think Kolb goes nuts and Philly wins, in what would evidently be an upset.

Dave: San Francisco - I mean, it HAS to happen for the Niners eventually, right? Why not this week, at home, facing an inept checkdown-happy QB, with their starting RB and best CB out, coached by one of the worst clock managers in the game? I think we see Michael Crabtree break out here, followed by a big game by "The Inconvenient Truth" Frank Gore. Niners by 6.

Minnesota (+4) at N.Y. Jets

Gabe: Minnesota - To mention Brett Favre's pecker or to not mention Brett Favre's pecker? Well, it's already too late, so fuck it. Deadspin could not have picked a better week to update their story about the old gun-slinger trying to...ummm...sling his gun. (Oh, and if you think Deadspin waiting until this week wasn't by design I have bridge I could sell you...cheap...in Brooklyn...I own it...seriously...is this sad tool worn out yet?...that's what she said...to Brett Favre...alright...bring in Brady Quinn...now I'm done.) The fans in New York are going to be relentless to Favre, but, if there is one man who can ignore everything off the field and play well, it's Favre. In fact, he thrives on being the antagonist. Oh, and let's not forget, we are only a few weeks removed from Randy Moss making Darelle Revis look like a chump, and now he gets to do it all over again, with Favre throwing him the ball, not Mark Sanchez. I'll take Minnesota to win outright, by a touchdown.

Dave: New York Jets - The Vikings still have to figure how to incorporate their newest distraction, Randy Moss, on half a week's time, while trying to defuse Favre's recent chicanery(Side note: Deadspin launched the Favre story months ago. They just finally used the evidence this week because they, unlike us, lack tact. And if you are wondering why there isn't any witty retorts from yours truly, it's because I'm saving them for tomorrow's rant. Stay tuned.) Revis is going to struggle a little in his first game back but if the Jets are for real, they'll topple a Vikings team that isn't very good yet. When Moss and Favre get more time together, then they'll be more intimidating. Right now though? This team is in disarray and this latest Favre distraction does not help matters. Jets by 10.

Gathering Moss

False hope.

That's what Randy Moss' return to Minnesota provides to the Vikings and, most importantly, Vikings fans. Sometimes, when blockbuster trades like this Moss deal get done, fans and experts just look at the fancy names on paper and start overreacting without looking at the big picture. Yes, on paper, an offense comprised of Randy Moss, Adrian Peterson, Percy Harvin, Sidney Rice and Brett Favre looks pretty damn impressive. However, somebody has to be on the outside looking in here. There isn't enough touches to keep three hungry receivers happy as well as the game's best running back. Something has to give. Brett Favre, throughout his entire career, has been a man consumed with being the hero. It's why he implodes EVERY postseason. He has to be the last gunslinger standing when the dust clears. It's why he single-handedly shot the Vikes in the foot last January in the Superdome with that ridiculous cross-the-body interception to Tracy Porter against the Saints. It's why he blew the Packers' Super Bowl chances in '07 against the Giants, '03 against Philly, '02 against Atlanta and '01 against St. Louis with costly picks and all around buffoonish play. Now, he gets a new weapon who has a history of being a piss poor run blocker and who mentally takes himself out of the game(and sometimes, physically) when he isn't getting the ball early and often.

Favre has always wanted to throw bombs to Moss and, maybe now that he gets that chance, it will shake off some of the malaise Favre has been playing with the first four weeks of the season. Favre's playing like a guy who wasn't healthy enough to come back but felt compelled to return after being bullied by teammates and coaches for one last run. Maybe Moss rejuvenates him. Or maybe Moss makes matters worse. After all, there's a reason this man was ushered out of the Twin Cities and into the Bay Area a few years ago. His tendency to be a pain in the ass is equal to his tendency to split the defense for a long touchdown. Somehow, on a team that was a perennial Super Bowl contender, Moss couldn't find happiness. Somehow, on a team known for chemistry and camaraderie, Randy Moss became a distraction(something not even Corey Dillon managed to be). What happens when defenses double-cover Moss and Favre is forced to look Percy Harvin's way? What happens if AP does his own pouting and Childress begins to run the ball more in the first half and Moss becomes disenfranchised? These are the "What ifs" that need to come into play during trades like this. Yes, Moss can be a gamebreaker. That's the glass-half-full part of it. He's also a terrible self-motivator and a bit of a knucklehead. That's the other side of the coin.

Having watched Favre, as a Packer fan, for nearly two decades, I can tell you that Vikings fans are going to be in for some heartache. Moss isn't just one of the game's best receivers, he's a guy who runs one route in particular better than any other wideout: the go route. Moss is going to go straight ahead down the sideline at full speed, throw that lanky tree branch of an arm up, and Favre, no matter who is in Moss' vicinity, is going to chuck that ball with every bit of gusto he's got. That sounds great....if this was last year's Brett Favre. This year, Favre's a wounded animal. Still dangerous, sure, but wounded nonetheless. His passes aren't as crisp. The velocity isn't what it once was and he doesn't throw that deep ball like he once did. For shit's sake, he's 41 and coming off ankle surgery. You can't expect him to reclaim last year's magic now that he has a new toy. Even with Rice, Harvin, Visanthe Shiancoe and Peterson last year, Favre couldn't get himself out of New Orleans and I think that offense was better than the one that will trot out Monday night against the Jets. Call me crazy, but I'd take a healthy Sidney Rice over this year's Moss any day of the week(Side note: Another thing to factor in is Moss doesn't get a bye week now. He'll play all 17 weeks because he's coming in after Minnesota's bye week. Moss is 33 and he's never been, how do you say, a husky fellow. I'm not saying Moss is going to get hurt, but I don't know if I like the chances of a skinny 33-year old receiver who has to play balls-to-the-wall for the next four months without a break not getting banged up a little bit.)

So, Moss' acquisition is a hit-or-miss gamble that will ultimately tell the tale of the 2010 season. A team that may have very well been a 10-6 team with Tarvaris Jackson handing off to Adrian Peterson and letting the defense hold opponents instead went into desperation mode and begged a 41-year old man to play QB and then rushed into getting him a new weapon when the old man started to lose interest. If rolling on the dice on Favre and Moss pays off, then the Vikings are the clear-cut team to beat in a wide-open NFC. However, the history of both men, combined with the incompetence of Brad Childress and the uncertainty of both Rice's health coming off hip surgery and AP's role now that Moss is in town, gives people like myself a legit reason to be skeptical.

(Another side rant: I had the Patriots finishing 3rd this season in the AFC East..and that was WITH Randy Moss. Now that he's gone, I'm not sure how New England makes the postseason. Yes, they beat Miami with Moss not even registering a catch, but how many teams are going to throw three picks and allow New England to score touchdowns off numerous blocked kicks and kickoff returns? Moss is gone. Wes Welker's knee is, admittedly, not 100% and now his workload increases. The running game is non-existent. BenJarvus Green-Ellis is serviceable, but hardly someone who keeps defensive coordinators up at night. The defense, outside of last Monday night's rout of the Dolphins, has been terrible and I'm not in love with Brady's offensive line. Yes, the Patriots have eight picks in the first four rounds of the 2011 NFL Draft....but none of those guys are playing this season for New England. Maybe the team plays better with Moss distraction gone. Maybe Brandon Tate steps up. Or maybe this trade bites them in the ass. We shall see.)

So brace yourselves, Vikings fans, the Favre rollercoaster just got revamped and it may very well be a bumpy ride.

Week 4 Picks

Like with any great prize fight, the opening rounds are mainly used to feel out the opponent and get a good grasp of a proper strategy going forward. After three weeks, Gabe and I are still trying to get a feel of this NFL season and try not to look like buffoons with these picks as the season progresses. With that being said, Week 3 was an epic failure for both combatants but I managed to move up another game on the King of Queens. Neither of us, however, could muster a record over .500 last week.

Onward to Week 4.....

Last Week: (Dave - 7-9, Gabe 6-10)

Season: (Dave: 23-23-2, Gabe 20-26-2)

Broncos (+6.5) at Titans

Dave: Broncos - I'm still trying to figure out these two teams. Tennessee's two wins came against a subpar Raiders team that keeps finding ways to lose and Gabe's Giants, who have thus far been disappointing. Their offense lives and dies with one man, RB Chris Johnson, and now they'll go up against the 10th best rush defense in football. The Titans also possess the 30th best passing offense, which means if Denver can stop Chris Johnson, the Titans are dicked. I think this game is closer than people think and, while I still see the Titans pulling out the victory, I see it being by a field goal or two.

Gabe: Titans - I still think Denver is not very good. The Titans offense is all about Chris Johnson and Denver's defense appears good against the run. All that said, I have a gut feeling and I'm going to take the Titans at home to win by a touchdown.

Ravens (+2.5) at Steelers

Dave: Steelers - These Ravens-Steelers clashes always seem to go down to the wire and Pittsburgh QB Charlie Batch won't have the same success against Baltimore that he did against Tampa Bay last week. Still, Ray Rice is banged up for the Ravens and QB Joe Flacco hasn't been the breakout star many thought he would be in Year 3. I think this is another ugly, tightly-contested smashmouth affair with the team that can move the ball better being the victor in a game of field position. That team, to me, will be Pittsburgh who have been the best story so far at 3-0 with Big Ben on the sidelines.

Gabe: Steelers - The Ravens are banged up at running back. The Steelers defense is great. The Ravens defense is still good and they will be facing journeyman QB Charlie Batch. I think the Steelers win out and take it by at least a field goal.

Bengals (-3) at Browns

Dave: Bengals - The Browns are feistier than they credit for, but they are still a team that is lacking talent in nearly every facet of the game(except special teams with super return man Josh Cribbs). The Bengals play steady D and, while the offense hasn't been the explosion of points you would think given Carson Palmer's weapons, they can score on this average Browns defense. Bengals by a touchdown.

Gabe: Bengals - The Browns stink. The Bengals defense is opportunistic. Cincy is going to cause turnovers. Carson Palmer has been playing poorly, but who better to breakout against than the Browns? I think the Bengals offense finally gets a little traction and they win this game by 10.

Lions (+14) at Packers

Dave: Packers - Don't let Monday night's loss change your mind on the Packers being one of the best, if not THE best, team in the NFC. With 17 penalties, some horrible coaching down the stretch, and a bad fumble that led to the Bears game-clinching field goal, Green Bay still only lost by 3 on the road. The chances of them shooting themselves in the foot repeatedly against Detroit like they did in Chicago are slim. Aaron Rodgers is going to come out firing and this is the make-or-break game for Brandon Jackson. If he breaks out here, the Packers might have something in the former Husker. If not, John Kuhn will be holding down the run game until the inevitable desperation Marshawn Lynch trade is consummated. Either way, Lions QB Shaun Hill will complete a couple passes to Charles Woodson and Nick Collins(Hint: They aren't on Hill's team) and Clay Matthews Jr. plants Hill for a couple sacks, while Aaron Rodgers balls out on Detroit's secondary. Packers by 17.

Gabe: Packers - A division game, with Shaun Hill starting at quarterback, in Green Bay, against an angry Packers team. I kind of feel sorry for the Lions in this one. Packers by 21.

Panthers (+13) at Saints

Dave: Panthers - The Super Bowl hangover for New Orleans has caused the team to sputter on both sides of the ball and made games that should have been blowouts a lot closer. They scraped their way out of a loss to Minnesota in the opener. They laid down for all but the final minutes of the Monday nighter against San Francisco and they let Atlanta catch them napping in an OT loss last week. Do I think Carolina can beat them? No. Could they control the clock with the running game and grind out a mere 10 point loss to the defending champs? I think so. Saints by 10.

Gabe: Panthers - The Saints are starting LaDell Betts and Chris Ivory at running back. They don't really scare anyone with that running game. That being said, Drew Brees is still under center and he can make superstars out of nobodies with his skill at distributing the ball. On the other side of the ball, Carolina is once again going with Jimmy Clausen, which means they will be one dimensional. That one dimension, their running game, is great. Good enough to win? No, but good enough to keep it within two touchdowns.

49ers (+6.5) at Falcons

Dave: Falcons - My wife has a hunch that this is the game San Fran gets off the snide and shows the world what they are made of against a very good Atlanta squad. My wife also thinks "Walker, Texas Ranger" is a good show and as much as I'd love to co-sign her sage advice, I just can't. I'm not sure what is wrong with these Niners but they are the epitome of underwhelming. A team that should be mauling teams on the ground is 27th in rushing. What was supposed to be a tenacious defense is dead last in points allowed. Now, they have to go on the road and beat a riding-high Falcons team, who just snatched a victory out of the defending champs. I think Matt Ryan blows up here and we start to count the days for Mike Singletary as the man in San Fran.

Gabe: San Francisco - San Fran has to win at some point right? Right? They can't keep up this bad play forever, right? Atlanta might suffer something of hangover after their emotional win over the champs last week. NFL coaches break the season down into quarters and this week marks the end of the first quarter. The Niners need this win to end the quarter on a positive and salvage their season. Lose today and they might be playing out the string, starting in Week 5. Niners by a touchdown.

Seahawks (+1) at Rams

Dave: Seahawks - I'm still confused by Seattle. They had a nice win over San Diego, but the Chargers could very well suck. The Rams DO very well suck and they'll probably be without RB Steven Jackson. Even with Sam Bradford starting to develop under center, the Rams are still abysmal. I'd like to see Justin Forsett bust out here for the 'Hawks. Seattle by 14.

Gabe: Seahawks - I still think Seattle sucks. But the Rams suck more. The Hawks won't lay down like the Redskins always do. Seattle by 7.

Jets (-6) at Bills

Dave: Jets - If you listen closely, you can hear kids in Taiwan stitching Arkansas QB Ryan Mallett's name on the back of hundreds of Buffalo Bills jerseys in anticipation for his selection of the #1 overall pick in the 2011 NFL Draft. Jets by 10, even without Revis.

Gabe: Jets - Revis is out, but the Jets defense is still nasty. Don't expect "Fitzpatrick to Evans" to start tearing the league up. Jets by double digits.

Colts (-7) at Jaguars

Dave: Colts - Dear Jack Del Rio, if you need help filling out your resume after this game is over, send me an email. Jags are terrible and I can't think of one good reason why this team shouldn't either be blown up or shipped to Los Angeles. Colts by 14.

Gabe: Colts - David Garrard threw for like four yards last week. The Jags are completely one-dimensional on offense with Mojo D. The Colts are going to score early and often. Indy by 17.

Texans (-3) at Raiders

Dave: Raiders - In Gabe's honor, consider this my upset special. The Texans have underperformed in two straight now and only a Washington collapse two weeks ago keeps them from being 1-2 instead of 2-1. The Raiders, meanwhile, shot themselves in the foot last week and should be 2-1 right now. Nnamdi Asomugha is going to shut down a gimpy Andre Johnson and Raiders QB Bruce Gradkowski is going to use his feet to buy him some time against a solid Houston pass rush and make a few plays to keep this one closer than you think. This will be a good showdown between two emerging backs, Darren McFadden and Arian Foster, but I think Raiders win by a field goal.

Gabe: Texans - In the words of the pope, and with all respect to Dave, that upset shit ain't happening. Last week the Texans were embarrassed in the Battle for Texas and they are going to be looking to take that out on someone. Yes Asomugha will probably shut down Johnson, but Houston is deep with weapons offense. Texans by 10.

Cardinals (+9) at Chargers

Dave: Chargers - Last week, I predicted we'd see Arizona go to the bullpen and call for Max Hall and only the Raiders outright refusing to trounce a terrible Cardinals team kept that prediction from happening. This time around, San Diego isn't going to make the same mistake Oakland did. Cardinals get stomped out by a desperate Chargers team that wants to gain ground on a bye-week ridden Chiefs team and we see Max Hall by halftime. Also, Ryan Mathews tastes pay dirt twice. Chargers by 14.

Gabe: Chargers - Dave's right. The Cardinals are terrible. This is the point in the year when San Diego usually starts playing like we all they are capable of. Chargers by 10.

Redskins (+5.5) at Eagles

Dave: Redskins - It's the game new Washington QB Donovan McNabb had circled on the calender for months and, after getting upset by St. Louis last week, the Redskins know they need to pull out all the stops against Philly to keep the natives from rioting. Given how electrifying Mike Vick has been the last three weeks and all the back story with McNabb facing his old team in the city that never truly appreciated him, I can't understand for the life of me why this wasn't the Sunday nighter instead of Bears-Giants. Regardless, McNabb knows Andy Reid and his ineptitude and I can't see Shanahan not doing right by his veteran QB in a redemption game with serious division ramifications at stake. McNabb and Vick have a shootout, but the obvious coaching advantage in crunch time gives the 'Skins the edge. Redskins by 3.

Gabe: Eagles - The Eagles also had this game circled on their calendars. It is going to be an emotional ride for McNabb to come back as a visitor to the stadium he called home for eleven years. He is also going to have to watch a younger, faster, better, version of himself, with better weapons work on the other side of the field. The Eagles are better and they'll win by at least a touchdown.

Bears (+3.5) at Giants

Dave: Bears - I'm not sure if the Bears are good or just really lucky. They are a play or two here and there from being 0-3 but you have to have some kind of skill to keep pulling these wins out. The Giants, meanwhile, can't catch a break. After whooping a bad Panthers team, they got humiliated by Indy and curb-stomped by Tennessee. With Brandon Jacobs sulking, the Giants don't have the same identity that they did as Super Bowl champs, which is as a smashmouth team that pounds the ball and stifles you on D. Instead, Eli Manning is forced to make plays, which exposes him as the bust he's always been and the defense is getting rope-a-doped by being on the field too long and tiring out. I'd love to see a Bears loss here but I can't trust this Giants team anymore. Bears by 6.

Gabe: Bears - I don't know why the Giants are favored in this game. Even taking away the three points for home field means people think the Giants are a half point better than Chicago. If the Giants can avoid mistakes in the first half then the Bears will be in for a long night. I think the Giants will play better than they have been and win by a field goal.

Patriots (-1) at Dolphins

Dave: Dolphins - Miami always seems to have New England's number. QB Chad Henne is starting to get better acquainted with Brandon Marshall and, with the Patriots D so putrid, that's not going to change on Monday night. I expect Miami to continue to befuddle the Pats with the Wildcat while Gruden and Jaws overreact to every half-decent Tom Brady pass or Wes Welker catch. Miami gets a big W here, win by 7.

Gabe: Dolphins - I think Chad Henne is going to have a huge game. The Patriots defense is old and slow and I think Henne and Marshall are going to carve them up. Miami by 7.