Week 12 Picks

Thanksgiving football didn't go as planned for Team Dave as he wound up getting stuffed like a Kardashian sister in the locker room at Gund Arena after a shootaround to the tune of a big 0-3 squadoosh. Baby Felix Trinidad, meanwhile, starts off today's events up two, thanks to the Packers throttling of the Lions and Baltimore outpointing San Fran on Thursday.

On to the rest of this week's games

THIS WEEK

Gabe: 2-1

Dave: 0-3

SEASON

Dave: 81-74-8

Gabe: 73-82-8

Vikings (+9.5) at Falcons

Dave: Falcons - Truth be told, Minnesota's chances of beating Atlanta in the Georgia Dome were bleak even before Adrian Peterson was ruled out. Now, with AP sidelined, the Vikings' running game is in the hands of Brian Leonard's less effective twin, Toby Gerhart. I'd be surprised if Christian Ponder and company manage to muster any points and the Viking defense has been picked apart so many times recently that anything less than a 21-point W by the Dirty Birds would surprise me. Falcons by 24.

Gabe: Falcons

Browns (+7) at Bengals

Dave: Bengals - Despite being up against one of the best defenses in the NFL without his top wideout, Andy Dalton still saw fit to drop 373 yards on the Ravens last week in a close 31-24 loss to Baltimore. What does that have to do with their game against Cleveland this week? Well, Cleveland's horrible and Dalton gets A.J. Green back so, by the laws of math, Dalton should be expected to do significantly better this week. While it might be statistically impossible for "The Red Rifle" to top his near-400 yard performance, I'm sure Dalton and the gang will accept a W over the floundering Dawg Pound as a modest improvement. Bengals by 10.

Gabe: Bengals

Bucs (+3) at Titans

Dave: Titans - I've lost hope in the 2011 Bucs. Josh Freeman throws too many picks, LaGarrette Blount is too hit-or-miss, their young receivers have hit a sophomore slump and the defense has gone down the tubes. Matt Hasselbeck might be a bit banged up for Tennessee but I think either he or Jake Locker is capable of putting up numbers against this Bucs D. I wish I could say the same thing with confidence about the possibly-abducted Chris Johnson. Titans by 9.

Gabe: Bucs

Panthers (-3) at Colts

Dave: Panthers - Cam Newton needs a big game here to stay in the Rookie of the Year hunt and I think he'll do so against a horrid Colts team. On a different note though, if Indy played LSU on a neutral field right now, how bad would the Tigers beat the Colts? I say it would be at least 31-0. Panthers by 13.

Gabe: Panthers

Cardinals (+2.5) at Rams

Dave: Rams - Honestly, I just flipped a coin here. Picking between Arizona and St. Louis and is like asking "Who's hotter: Oprah Winfrey or Rosie O'Donnell?". Nobody wins and nobody cares.

Gabe: Rams

Bills (+9) at Jets

Dave: Jets - The last time these two teams met, Gang Green thumped Buffalo and sent them cascading into a tailspin that dropped them from sneaky Wild Card contender to probably picking top 10 in the Draft again. So, if the Jets can open a can on the Bills in Buffalo a month ago, what would make anyone think things will be different in the Meadowlands now that Buffalo has given up on life and Ryan Fitzpatrick threw out his arm counting all that money from his new deal? Jets by 10.

Gabe: Bills

Texans (-6) at Jaguars

Dave: Texans - How psyched are you for the epic showdown between Blaine Gabbert and Matt Leinart? The next month or so is make-or-break time for Leinart. If he can prove to be somewhat competent over the next 6 or 7 games as the starter for a legit contender, he could stand to make some money this offseason as a free agent QB with some starter experience and his career ahead of him. The question with Leinart has always been desire. Does he want to be Aaron Rodgers or Brody Jenner? Is he reading defenses or reading Cosmo? Lucky for Matt, he gets the lowly Jags as well as possibly the return of all-world wideout Andre Johnson. Even if Leinart flops, Arian Foster won't. Texans by 17.

Gabe: Texans

Bears (+3) at Raiders

Dave: Raiders - Oh, if you loved Leinart vs. Gabbert, you'll jump for joy over Carson Palmer vs. Caleb Hanie! Hanie emerged as an intriguing prospect after nearly leading the Bears to a comeback win in the NFC Championship against Green Bay when Jay Cutler allegedly went down with a knee injury. Now, Cutler is actually out with a busted thumb and Hanie gets his moment in the sun. My issue isn't so much Hanie as it is the offensive line's ability to protect Hanie. It took Chicago a year and a half to figure out how to keep Cutler upright and he gets the ball out way quicker than Hanie does. On the flip side, Palmer is getting more and more adjusted with his new sqaud, as we saw last week against Minnesota. The Bears D will keep this from being a rout and Matt Forte will keep Oakland's D honest but it comes down to who do you have faith in making a play when it matters, Hanie or Palmer? And my money's on Carson. Raiders by 6.

Gabe: Bears

Redskins (+3) at Seahawks

Dave: Seahawks - It pains me that I will have spent three paragraphs on games featuring Gabbert vs Leinart, Hanie vs. Palmer and now Rex Grossman/John Beck vs. Tarvaris Jackson/Charlie Whitehurst. I've seen better matchups on the undercards of Celebrity Boxing. The Redskins' best strategy is to ride out this season with their two-headed crap sandwich at QB and hope the teams ahead of them in the Draft play better so Washington can move up and grab a Matt Barkley or a Robert Griffin III....or a more likely scenario: make a play for Peyton Manning. Seattle's tough to beat at home, even tougher to beat when you're the Redskins. Seahawks by 9.

Gabe: Seahawks

Patriots (-3) at Eagles

Dave: Eagles - Oh, imagine if Mike Vick has to miss more time and it's Vince Young, not Vick, who turns the Eagles season around and gets them into the playoffs. We might see Mike Vick get Mike Vick'd by Vince Young(though in this scenario, Mike Vick would be Kevin Kolb and Vince Young would be Mike Vick.....I just confused myself.). I'm not sure why I picked the Eagles except that I typed "Eagles" when I meant to write "Patriots" and figured I'd stick with it on account that it might my subconscious telling me something. Philly does have the defense to give Tom Brady and company fits and the Eagles' running is superior to New England's. If Vince Young can lead the charge and beat the Giants, it's not unrealistic to think he can top the Pats too....which would make for an awesome story these next few weeks.

Gabe: Patriots

Broncos (+5.5) at Chargers

Dave: Broncos - I've been saying "A loss here should end the Norv Turner era" for weeks now, and it's beginning to sound redundant. That being said, a loss here should end the Norv Turner era in San Diego. Really, what more do you need to make a case to clean house here? The Chargers are struggling yet again to win a division they should be mopping the floor with year-after-year. This week, they get Touchdown Jesus and the Broncos. Look, I don't know whether Tim Tebow is a viable starting QB. I just know that he knows how to win and, really, that's all that matters. Phillip Rivers has all the yards and the touchdowns and he'll have plenty of third-place finishes to go with them. Timmy has a chance to part the AFC West seas and get Denver a playoff spot and the perennially-cursed Bolts aren't going to stand in the way of Tebow and his divine powers. Broncos by 3.

Gabe: Chargers

Steelers (-10.5) at Chiefs

Dave: Steelers - I talked myself into my wife's Chiefs for about 2.5 seconds because they can get to the QB and, at home and feeling desperate, they might force Big Ben to make some crucial mistakes and pull off the upset with defense and special teams. Then, I realized one fundamental problem with that theory: The Chiefs' starting QB is Tyler Palko. Even if KC's D is lights out against the Steelers, the offense is going to have to make enough plays to keep Pittsburgh at arm's length. I just don't see that happening. If there's one saving grace for Chiefs fans though, next year you'll have Jamaal Charles and Eric Berry back as well as possibly Matt Barkley if Kyle Orton doesn't screw around and get you a few garbage time W's. Steelers by 21.

Gabe: Steelers

Giants (+7.5) at Saints

Dave: Giants - Emotions will be running high for Big Blue coming off the tragic death of RB Brandon Jacobs this past Sunday......(waits.....checks newspaper......feels sheepish)....wait, Jacobs isn't dead? Then, who was the cadaver in the "Jacobs #27" jersey last week against Philly? The Giants' sudden lack of a running game not withstanding, I think these two teams are close enough that neither team will win by more than a touchdown. Could I see Drew Brees, with a little more than a week to prepare, lighting up this porous Giants secondary? Sure, but that would require some excellent protection from this N.O. offensive line against the best pass rush in football. I think this one's a shootout with both teams lacking a running game and, with the Giants needing this one bad, I see Gabe's boys pulling off the upset.

Gabe: Giants