Milk Carton All-Star of the Week

We kind of slacked in giving you the Milk Carton All-Star. By my count, it's been three weeks since we last left you with Celtics guard Dana Barros. Truth be told, I had Lorenzen Wright cued up as the next M.C.A.S. before he went missing and inevitably was found shot to the death earlier this week. That sent me on a search for a new candidate. Luckily, T.O. signed with the Bengals and that gave me just the right place to look for an athlete who would be both mediocre and relevant to the team on everyone's lips this past week.




I'm not afraid to admit it: I was wrong about Peter Warrick. I thought he was going to blow up like nitro when he came to the NFL after a productive career at Florida State. It turns out that Warrick was a step too slow and his body was made my paper mache. Warrick's failure in the pros forced GMs and scouts to put far too much emphasis on 40 times and speed. That led to guys like Michael Crabtree, Malcom Jenkins, Leon Hall and Terrell Suggs to drop in the Draft because suits feared they weren't fast enough. Conversely, it led to the high draft picks of notable busts like Vernon Gholston and Troy Williamson who were faster and possessed quicker explosion than Rick Pitino in a Hooters bathroom(Editor's Note: This will be the first of many cracks about Rick Pitino's......speed....in areas other than an athletic arena...if you catch my drift.....OK, Pitino is allegedly a one-minute man...a two-pump chump...THERE! You happy now!?)

Warrick was drafted fourth overall in a 2000 NFL Draft that was chock full of draft busts(Penn St. DE Courtney Brown went first, followed by OT Chris Samuels and LB Lavar Arrington....all three plus Warrick are out of the NFL. In fact, of the top 10, only two are still in the NFL, Brian Urlacher and Thomas Jones and only four of the Top 15....with Shaun Ellis and John Abraham being the other two besides Jones and Urlacher. It should also be mentioned that this was the year Florida State kicker Sebastian Janikowski went 17th overall by Raiders draft guru Al Davis) after a stellar career with the Seminoles filled with highs(national championship in 1999) and lows(an embarrassing shoplifting charge with fellow teammate Laverneus Coles).

By all accounts, Warrick wasn't terrible as a pro. He just never lived up to the hype of being the fourth overall pick. He made 51 catches for 591 yards and four touchdowns in his rookie season and ran for 148 yards and two more scores. He followed that up with a respectable 70-catch, 667 yard campaign(but only scored one TD) in 2001. In 2002, the injuries started to set in for Warrick. He only played 10 games that season, notching 53 catches for 606 yards and 6 TDs. The next year, in 2003, Warrick had his best season as a pro. He had career highs in receptions(79), yards(819) and touchdowns(7) and played in 15 games. That season gave the Bengals hope that Warrick was about to show off his limitless potential and the hype around the 2004 season was starting to build.

The breakout never happened. Warrick played in all of four games, starting one, and caught 11 passes. Two things happened around this time that were particularly detrimental to Warrick's career with Cincinnati and his overall standing in the pros. One, around this time, two former college teammates from the 2001 Bengals draft class would start to emerge as legit NFL receivers. Their names? Chad Johnson(now Chad Ochocinco) and T.J. Houshmanzadeh. Their rising star power led to the Cincinnati finally pulling the plug on Warrick at the end of 2004. Meanwhile, Coles(Warrick's former teammate at FSU and the man who was hit the hardest by the shoplifting scandal), taken two rounds later in 2000 by the Jets, finished 2004 just 50 yards short of his third straight 1,000 yard season and even went to the Pro Bowl in 2003. In fact, Coles was recently brought back by the Jets for a third time just this week. Warrick, on the other hand, played one more season in the NFL(with Seattle, where he caught 11 passes for 180 yards and got to return punts in the Super Bowl for the Seahawks).

Warrick was out of the NFL for a couple years but surfaced with the Arena League in 2007. However, he would never show up and would eventually end up in the CFL a year later. He would last an entire month before being released. Most recently, Warrick was signed last year by the Bloomington Extreme by the red-hot(sarcasm alert) Indoor Football League.

So, let's give it up for the poor man's David Terrell.....Peter Warrick, ladies and gentlemen!

Starting Lineups: Greatest Modern TV Comedies

Every now and then, we like to dabble outside of the sports realm. After all, talking about sports 24/7 can be exhausting. Last week, we mixed sports with pleasure by giving you the hottest female athletes out there today. This week, we go back to entertainment world and give you our take on the "Greatest Modern TV Comedies of All-Time". Now, by "modern", we mean TV shows within our age bracket(mid-to-late 80's-to-present day). Gabe made a rule for no variety/sketch shows, meaning Saturday Night Live couldn't make the cut(although I did technically break that rule with one of my picks, but only because I was unaware of said rule prior to making my list). So, here are our respective lists on the best of the crop of funny TV shows in recent memory.



Dave:

9. "Cheers" (1982-1993) - I was never a HUGE fan of "Cheers" and, truth be told, a case can be made for "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" or "How I Met Your Mother" making the final spot ahead of them. It was just hard to leave a comedy that was so good for so long off this list in place of newer shows that aren't as proven. My problem with "Cheers" was that it had a lot of good supporting actors but no real star(depending on how you felt about Ted Danson, who I was never high on or Kelsey Grammar, who became big with "Fraiser", a "Cheers" semi-spinoff that I didn't care for much either.) Woody Harrelson, Shelly Long, John Ratzenberger, George Wendt and Rhea Perlman were all outstanding in their roles and, with the exception of Ratzenberger(who probably became more famous as "Hamm" in the Toy Story movies) and Harrelson(who was a B-list movie actor until his Oscar nom in "The Messenger"), none of them ever went on to do anything more memorable than their roles on the show. So, "Cheers" is here for nostalgia purposes and a kick-ass theme song, but if this list is made a couple years from now, I'd be hard-pressed to put them here again.


8. "The Cosby Show" (1984-1992) - Arguably, the best comedy of the mid-80's. It was the quintessential family comedy. Not just the stereotypical "black family comedy" like Tyler Perry has been making money off of the last decade, "The Cosby Show" transcended race. The main reason for its appeal starts and ends with its leading man: Bill Cosby(one of the five greatest comedians EVER). The supporting cast wasn't too bad either: Malcolm Jamal-Warner, Lisa Bonet, Phylicia Rashad, and the comebacking Keshia Knight-Pullam. The show was less about struggle(like "Good Times" and "What's Happening") and more about the everyday life of a successful family, highlighted by the once-in-a-generation wit and intellect of Cosby.

7. "Seinfeld" (1990-1998) - Along with "ER" and "Friends"(a show you couldn't even bribe me into putting on the list because it's so dreadful), "Seinfeld" is among the best TV shows of the 90's, sitcom or otherwise. Realistically, it should be higher, but I found that the shows that are above them suited my brand of comedy(which is more crass and had more "shock value") moreso than "Seinfeld" did. Still, you can't deny the show's place on this list. It epitimized NBC's "Must See TV" slogan. It made household names out of supporting cast members that went on to spend the better part of this decade destroying their star power(though none more than Michael Richards, who played "Kramer"). Like "The Cosby Show", the main allure of "Seinfeld" is the amazing comedic creativity of its star: Jerry Seinfeld. Now, some find Seinfeld the comic to be among the greatest ever, but I'll gladly be in the minority on that one. Regardless, the appeal of "Seinfeld" is undeniable and, perhaps if I was someone who wanted something that was funny but not as edgy, I would put this show much higher.

6. "Arrested Development" (2003-2006) - People like my wife and Gabe and a few other of my friends are huge fans of "Arrested Development" will campaign for a higher spot. Truth be told, it may be the best comedy to end far too soon. That's why it's down this far on the list. As great as the three seasons of A.D. were, it was only three seasons. Still, the show brought Jason Bateman back from the dead, introduced the world to the hotness of Portia De Rossi and gave us Michael Cera years before "Juno" made him famous. Well-written, quirky, with the right amount of edge. It may very well be the perfect comedy. It just also happened to be short-lived.

5. "Married With Children" (1987-1997) - When it comes to edgy, "Married With Children" pushed the envelope. Back when TV shows were too family-oriented to talk about sex and marital strife and other taboo topics that scared away sponsors, "Married With Children" was unafraid to go there. Led by chavunistic leading man Al Bundy(played excellently by Ed O'Neill), "Married With Children" focused on painting a picture of the misery side to marriage. Rather than try to be cookie-cutter with a cute story about the joys of a happy family, "Married With Children" exposed the shortcomings of a dysfunctional family and saturated audiences with the kind of sophomoric, tawdry humor that hadn't really been seen until then. The success of the show changed the TV sitcoms from "Brady Bunch"-style family shows to something a bit more risque.


4. "South Park" (1997-present) - Picked up almost exactly where "Married With Children" left off and continued to push the envelope of controversy and adult humor. It's impossible to explain the excellence of "South Park" in print. It's extremely well-written by two men who are unafraid to take chances and thunder away at society's sacred cows(religion, sex, sexual orientation, etc.) Along with "The Simpsons", it opened the door for cruder animated comedies like "Family Guy" and became the go-to show for fans looking to see big time Hollywood stars and headlines transformed into racy, comedic satire.



3. "The Simpsons" (1989-present) - Simply put, there'd be no "South Park" without "The Simpsons". It was the quintessential animated family comedy with the stones to cross the lines. "The Simpsons" never crossed the lines that "South Park" crossed, but it still had no problem tearing down anyone from star actors to huge political figures. It has been the show that every actor has wanted to make a guest appearence on and, at the end of the day, how can you argue with a show that has managed to make it to 21 seasons and counting and has been a merchandising juggernaut for two decades?



2. "The Office" (2005-present) - Maybe the idea behind "The Office" was derived from the hit show of the same name on BBC, but there's no questioning the brilliance of the American version. The show owes much of its success to lead man Steve Carell(who expertly plays oblivious, pestering boss Michael Scott) and Rainn Wilson(as ubur-nerd and super-kissass Dwight Shrute). It also features one of the best supporting casts on TV led by America's favorite TV couple Pam(played by unbelievably hot Jenna Fischer) and Jim(played by movie-flop-guarentee John Krasinski). It popularized the phrase "That's What She Said" (a phrase that I overuse and Gabe hates), as well as help originate the title behind the very blog you are reading("Boom. Roasted." was a line from Carell's attempt at roasting his co-workers during one of the better episodes of season four). The show's humor has dwindled recently and who knows what the future holds when Carell steps down after this upcoming season. Regardless, over the past half-decade, there hasn't been a better comedy on television. Period. Bar none. Bottom line....

1. "Chappelle's Show" (2003-2006) - ......mainly because America lost "Chappelle's Show" far too early. I know, I know, "Chappelle's Show" isn't a tradition sitcom and it may go against Gabe's rule of "No Sketch/Variety Shows", but how can you not put this show on the list? For three seasons(two and a half, really), is was the best show on television. It was well-written(by the comedic genius of Chappelle and sidekick/unsung hero Neal Brennan). It was controversial. It was brilliant. It produced more memorable sketches in its short run than the last two decades of SNL. "The Racial Draft", "Samuel Jackson Beer", "True Hollywood Stories: Rick James", "True Hollywood Stories: Prince", "Clayton Bigsby", "The Madd Real World". It was appointment television every week, and if Chappelle never succumbs to the pressure of superstardom and "Chappelle's Show" is still on the air, then it would still be the best show on television. Without question.


Gabe:


9: Z Rock - They're a Brooklyn band. It's rock-n-roll they live....well, I'll let the boys tell it...





The show follows the trials and exploits of Paulie Z, David Z, and Joey C. By night they are a regular, trying to make it, three-piece Brooklyn rock band called Zo2. By day they are a children's party band called The Z Brothers. The show is based on the real story of the real band Zo2, with the guys playing themselves. The show is semi-scripted and in addition to being talented musicians the guys are funny. It features comedians Lynne Koplitz and Jay Oakerson, as their manager and a club owner, respectively, and has a had a litany of guest appearances. They have had a whole list of comics, from Dave Attell and Patrice O'Neal to Joan Rivers, musicians, John Popper, Daryl Hall, Dave Navarro,etc., and other celebrities, Warren Sapp, Chris Jericho, etc. These guests usually, much like the main cast, play exaggerated versions of themselves. For example, Warren Sapp, as himself, filling in on drums for a battle of the bands when Joey C gets injured. The show is on IFC and DVD, and if you can find it, watch it.


8. The Current Wednesday Night Line-up on ABC - Modern Family, Cougar Town, The Middle - I am putting these shows together, and in a low spot, because they are a little new. But they are smart and hilarious. Modern Family is the gem of this group. It's a show about, well, a modern family. Ed O'Neill (well known for Married With Children, not so much for Little Giants) plays a rich older man re-married to a young hot Colombian woman. He lives with her and her son. The show also centers around his daughter, her husband, and their three kids, as well as his son, his son's husband, and their adopted daughter Lily. Each character is unique and the show is funny simply because of the way these characters interact in the situations they find themselves. Cougar Town is about a woman, her son, her ex-husband, and her friends in the neighborhood. It has grown on me because of it's quick wit. The jokes, sometimes subtle, sometimes not (sometimes very much not), come really fast. The Middle is the quirky lead-in to all of this. Centered around a seemingly normal mid-western family, this show is quirky where other shows are edgy. Each character has something, not really a flaw but more of a hang-up, that prevents them from being normal. The comedy is in their interactions and their hang-ups.


7. Scrubs - I put Scrubs on my list because there aren't many shows that have made me laugh out loud like this one. I always found Dr. Cox hilarious and I thought J.D. daydreams were always funny. Scrubs was also emotional and every now and then said something poignant. They also tried and failed at that a few times, but I still give them props for the ambition. I would have had the show higher on my list if it wasn't for the mess they made this last season. They ended the show perfectly. The "final" episode, lets call it J.D.'s final episode, was a perfect end to the show. Then they brought it back with newer characters and a convoluted storyline. Truthfully, I didn't even watch that season, it could still be on the air for all I know. When coming up with this list I considered the shows in their entirety, so Scrubs gets knocked down a few spots for that debacle at the end.


6. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - A show about five people, all of whom (some of whom?) run a bar, which never seems to have any customers. None of the characters really have any redeeming qualities. They are all selfish and immoral. Each episode seems to be another scatter brained idea for them to make money, which usually ends with them back at the bar, yelling at each other, blaming each other for what went wrong. The comedy is crude, but still fresh. The characters are unique and the interactions are really funny. They go beyond the lines of good taste, but instead of being offended, I'm laughing my ass off.


5. The Office - American or British, I don't care, take your pick. The British version only ran for two seasons, which is something the Brits do a lot (more on that later). The American version adapted the British scripts for the first seasons of it's version, but then picked up the ball and ran with it from there. This show is funny because everyone can relate to it. It's genius is in its unique pseudo-documentary style and the dry subtle humor. Most of the jokes aren't big and flashy (although some are), but are usually a few words, or a gesture, or in Jim's case, a look. This is another one that has run a little too long and resorted to the plot tricks....weddings, babies, etc. I take it down a notch or two for that, but the early and middle seasons are simply great.


4. 30 Rock - The premise is simple enough...Tina Fey (former head-writer for an NBC sketch show) play Liz Lemon, the head-writer of an NBC sketch show. The brilliance of this show is in the characters and Tina Fey's outlandish humor. Alec Baldwin as Jack Donaghy, the self-absorbed unaware executive, Tracy Morgan playing Tracy Jordan, the outrageous self-absorbed star of the show, Jane Krakowski as the self-absorbed (notice a theme) former star trying to hang on. The character interactions are great and so are Fey's little outbursts. The show is at it's best when something weird and seemingly inexplicable is presented and then accepted, usually without explanation, like "Shark Farts" or why Kenneth the page has $40,000 in Confederate currency.


3. Spaced - Another show I'm sure most people reading this have never seen, but it launched the careers of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, better known as the guys from Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. Pegg plays Tim, a struggling comic book artist (works in a comic book shop), who meets a woman named Daisy, a struggling writer (unemployed), in a coffee shop and they pretend to be a couple in order to rent an apartment. Upstairs lives the landlady, a crazy woman always drunk on red wine. Downstairs lives Brian, a weird visual artist, that the landlady has a crush on. The other main characters are Daisy's best friend Twist, who works in fashion (a dry cleaners) and is as master of the back-handed compliment, and Tim's best friend Mike, a gun nut who was kicked out of the territorial army for stealing a tank and trying to invade France. The show is very intelligent and bridges the gap between both the nerdy fan boy world and the cultured art world, much like Pegg himself (which makes sense seeing as how he co-created and co-wrote the show, with Jessica Hynes, the woman who plays Daisy). The John Woo-style gun fight in season two is a perfect example of this. The show ran for only two seasons of seven episodes each. After watching the series it feels like not enough and a perfect little piece of genius, all at the same time.


2. Arrested Development - Dave was right about me having this higher than him, and here it is. To me this show is funny mainly because of the absurdity of the characters, it's self referencing, and the word play. Anyone who has seen the show knows what I mean, loose seal and Lucille, Analrapist, etc. This is another show that some people think ended too soon, but I think it's perfect. This show left fans wanting more. When shows go on too long they have the danger of becoming stale and tired. By ending when it did Arrested Development is going to stay fresh in fans' minds and will be revered for a long time. If this show had run longer I think it could have permeated American culture the way my no. 1 did......


1. Seinfeld - I can hear the boo-birds now. "Boo! It so easy to put Seinfeld at the top. It's cliche." Trust me, I tried really hard and came up with every reason to not put it up here, but I can't. Seinfeld deserves to be at the top for many of the reasons I have gone into with the other entries on this list. But first let's start with what makes Seinfeld different. It's a show about nothing. That's the catchphrase. Really, in being about nothing, it's about everything. By not having a concrete premise, or a gimmick, the show relied on finding humor in everyday occurrences and situations. Who hasn't been frustrated by waiting to be seated at Chinese restaurant? This allowed the show to stay fresh for nine years. They never had to rely on a plot device, like a baby or wedding. The only wedding that almost happened between characters on the show was derailed when George's fiancée died from licking the poisoned invitation envelopes. There has never been a show that permeated and added to the whole of American culture like Seinfeld. Just this week my boss made a "No Soup for You!" reference when walking by a soup restaurant. Shrinkage, yadda yadda yadda, Master of Your Domain, Junior Mints, Little Kicks. They have all stayed in our minds because of this show, and the show ended in 1998. (Granted it's syndication probably has it on the air, somewhere, 24 hours a day, but that's beside the point.) Nine years, never got stale, never stalled, and is still embedded in the American consciousness...that's enough for the top spot in my book.


Bonus: If the list above is my starting line-up, this is my closing pitcher...


The League - Another one that is very new. The show is about a group of guys who are in a fantasy football league together, but it's really about the guys and their relationships and what it's like to be a guy. They are all at different points in their lives, single, married, kids, no kids, and they all are at different income levels, from Andre, the plastic surgeon who has every toy a modern man could want, to Taco a guy who makes his own deodorant and makes money selling ringtones. You don't have to play or even know that much about fantasy football to laugh. The is hilarious and has universal appeal. This show has made a big impact in a short amount of time, kind of like a closing pitcher.

AFC North Preview

Our breakdown of the upcoming 2010 NFL season continues with the AFC North. Dave will be providing the on-field commentary, while Gabe chimes in with his fantasy outlooks for the division.

DAVE:


1. Baltimore Ravens: The more I read about the Ravens, the more reluctant I become about putting them atop of the division. This is now the fourth time I've had to revise this piece because of an injury of some sort to one of the key members of the team. First, there was free safety Ed Reed, who will be placed on the Physically Unable To Perform List and will miss the first 6 games of the season(if he comes back at all) with the hip injury that nearly forced him to retire last season. In Reed's absence will be a couple of young pups with upside. Former Notre Dame boxer/safety Tom Zbikowski would probably be the leader to replace Reed. Zbikowski has exceptional speed and we all know he can lay the hammer down. There's also former Cowboys free safety Ken Hamlin, who was signed in the offseason as Reed insurance. Hamlin is adequate but the knock on him during his Dallas stint was his inability to make tackles in open space and the tendency for being a liability in coverage. In this scheme, that would make him the anti-Ed Reed. Another deep sleeper would be former Cincinatti Bearcat Haruki Nakamura. He's been solid on special teams and he's athletic enough to at least give Hamlin and Zibby a run for the chance to replace Reed. All three are decent options. None of them are the kind of Hall of Fame playmaker that Reed is. Yes, the Ravens put themselves at risk of giving up big plays when Reed takes chances and loses, but how many games have been swung in Baltimore's favor thanks to Reed's gambles? Outside of Reed, there's the recent bad luck in the health department with their two top selections. Promising pass-rushing linebacker Sergio Kindle suffered a skull fracture that will keep him out for most of the preseason, which will set his development back a bit. While the Ravens certainly aren't at a dearth of pass-rushers, a guy like Kindle could help make up for the problems they have in the secondary(even with Ed Reed). Fellow second-rounder Terrence Cody failed his conditioning test, much to the surprise of noone, and you wonder where that places his immediate future with the team. Most recently, free agent acquisition CB Dominique Foxworth tore his ACL, ending his season before it even started. That makes an already bleak secondary look all the more pedestrian. As it stands, a veteran front seven and an offense with a ton of potential are the only things provoking me to keep the Ravens at the top spot.

Then, there's the offense. The Ravens upgraded their passing game by acquiring wideout Anquan Boldin from Arizona. Boldin is the perfect type of receiver for Baltimore's style of play: tough, physical, aggressive, loves contact. He gives QB Joe Flacco a reliable target after the last couple of years dealing with Mark Clayton's stone hands and the geriatric Derrick Mason. Another newcomer is former Saint/Eagle/Patriot/Brown receiver and vehicular manslaughter-er Donte Stallworth. Stallworth is the speed element to complement a core filled with possession receivers. As much as the presence of Stallworth and Boldin helps the passing game, the knock on both men is their inability to stay healthy. Boldin constantly finds himself the victim of his hard-knock style of play that has been his calling card since coming into the league. Stallworth, like most track star like receivers with rail-thin physiques, seems to be always plagued by hamstring and various leg ailments. He's also been out of football for a little over a year after his hit-and-run beef a couple years ago. As we saw with Mike Vick last year, it takes time for someone to just jump back into football(especially those whose game is solely based on speed). If Boldin and Stallworth can provide the aerial improvement that is expected of them, expect a breakout year for RB Ray Rice(CHOP WOOD!). With defenses no longer needing to stack eight in the box and daring Flacco to throw, that leaves a lot of running room for Rice behind that massive offensive line(led by monstrous tackles Jared Gaither and Micheal Oher). Although, Gaither is believed to be on the trading block, and with the team's newfound need for able bodies in the secondary, he may be dealt for some help in that defensive backfield. If that happens, this is a different looking Ravens ballclub.

On paper, this is still the top team in the AFC North and if they find someone to at least be adequate in replacing Reed and shore up the secondary, then Baltimore becomes the Jets' biggest obstacle on the road to the Super Bowl. However, the last few weeks, the ball hasn't bounced the Ravens' way and it makes you wonder whether this just an abberation or a sign of things to come?

2. Pittsburgh Steelers*: In any other year, the Ravens' misfortune would be Pittsburgh's gain. The problem is, the Steelers have a couple losses of their own to deal with. First and foremost, you may have heard that QB Ben Roethlisberger got himself into a bit of trouble in the offseason by doing things he wasn't supposed to with women who may or may not have been so willing to participate. That misbehavior will see Big Ben sit out for the first four games, at the least. In his place will either be former Steelers backup Byron Leftwich or rising second-year QB Dennis Dixon. Because of Dixon's athletic prowess, he may have the edge here but Leftwich showed in his last stint that he's more than capable of leading the Steelers. The other loss in question for Pittsburgh is former Super Bowl MVP Santonio Holmes, who was jettisoned to New York after the team grew tired of his numerous off-field antics. Holmes' spot will more than likely be filled by second-year man Mike Wallace. Wallace had a breakout year last year, but how much of that was attributed to being matched up against nickel corners, safeties and linebackers where he could overwhelm them with his impressive size/speed combo? Now, Wallace will be up against legit corners and won't have the element of surprise. There's also the chemistry factor. When Big Ben returns, there's naturally going to be some rust and he isn't as familiar with Wallace as he is with "The Most Hated Man in the NFL" Hines Ward and tight end Heath Miller. The Steelers luck out by having a relatively easy schedule in Ben's absence(with the exception of a game against Baltimore), but don't be surprised if Ben's return starts with a lot of looks to Miller and Ward and a steady dose of power back Rashard Mendenhall.

That's who is gone. Here's who is back. For starters, cornerback Bryant McFadden returns to Blitzburgh after a cup of coffee with Arizona last season. McFadden may easily be Pittsburgh's best corner, but that isn't really saying much. Pittsburgh also welcome back two guys who were missing due to injuries last season. S Troy Polamalu became the latest victim of the Madden Curse, as his season was pretty much wrecked since hurting his knee in the opener. His healthy return makes the Steelers much more formidable in the secondary, which was a problem last season with Troy and his hair absent. Another underrated return is DE Aaron Smith, who had his '09 season cut short by injuries. When Smith is right, he's one of the best 3-4 ends in the game and his return combined with the continued progress of last year's first-rounder "Ziggy" Hood as well as massive NT Casey Hampton in the middle will ensure that Pittsburgh is back to having one of the five best defenses in the NFL(having bookend pass-rushers at linebacker like LaMarr Woodley and James Harrison helps. As does underrated middle linebacker James Farrior). The acquisition I am most excited about, and Steelers fans should be excited about, is first-rounder Maurkice Pouncey from Florida. Pouncey is outstanding run blocker on the interior, a skill honed while opening holes for Tim Tebow for years with the Gators. Pouncey holding down the middle of the offensive line, be it guard or center, allows Mendenhall to do what he does best: pound the ball inside. The Steelers are still a bit suspect on the outside of the offensive line as RT Willie Colon is done for the year already, but Pouncey's presence certainly helps quite a bit. All in all, if Big Ben can get his head right and Polamalu stays on the field, the Steelers are a playoff team, but right now, those are two big IFs.

3. Cincinnati Bengals*: I've come full circle on the Bengals. Initially, I thought a roster loaded with notorious headcases like Chad Ochocinco, Pac-Man Jones, Antonio Bryant, Tank Johnson, Cedric Benson and now Terrell Owens would be a recipe for disaster. Now, I find the idea of all these outcasts to be a cool idea, almost in a "Expendables" or "Ocean's Eleven" kind of way. There's a chance that these men, long chastised for their history of being disruptive malcontents, could use their standing as miscreants to band together. After all, who would understand T.O.'s diva antics better than Chad Ochocinco? Who would be better for Pac-Man Jones to confide with about a second chance than Cedric Benson? The only thing holding the Bengals back from being a legit contender is the reputations of their infamous stars. They are the NFL's most dangerous powderkeg. They can be explosive or they can implode with just one little spark.

If you're Carson Palmer, you have to be both anxious and nervous over your new set of toys. Palmer went from Ochocinco and a band of nobodies to a recieving core that now includes Bryant(fresh off back to back 1,000 yard seasons with Tampa Bay), Owens(arguably one of the 20 best receivers of all-time, even if he is coming off a subpar season in Buffalo and has lost a few steps), first-round pick TE Jermane Gresham(who was a top-10 talent before blowing out his knee last season), third rounder Jordan Shipley(perhaps a quicker, younger Wes Welker) and last year's holdover Andre Caldwell(a long shot to stick with the team, but still quality depth). Plus, Palmer can always turn around and hand off the pill to last season's 8th leading rusher in Benson. Benson got himself into a little hot water with a domestic assault beef, but won't be suspended. If Palmer and head coach Marvin Lewis keep all that ego in check, who wants to face this offense this season. I mean, Baltimore got swept by Cincy last year and now their secondary looks a lot worse this season. We could be looking at a repeat champion in the AFC North.

On defense, the guy to watch is DE/LB Michael Johnson. He's tall(6'6), lean and crazy athletic. The big knock, however, is motivation(like with most of the Bengals). The same can be said for rookie DE Carlos Dunlap, who has the same kind of potential that Johnson has, but doesn't always utilize it on the field. Dunlap and Johnson aid a pass rush that already has Robert Geathers(10.5 sacks just a couple years ago) and a returning Antwan Odom(the NFL's leader in sacks midseason before injuries cut his '09 short). There's also Tank Johnson, who can be as disruptive on the field as he is off of it, and massive DT Pat Sims. The linebacking crew is led by two former Trojans: MLB Rey Maualuga and OLB Keith Rivers. Both are speedy, athletic hard hitters who also suffer from being a wee bit injury prone. The gem of the defense is the secondary. The Bengals possess the most underrated cornerback tandem in the NFL in Leon Hall and Jonathan Joesph(both had 6 INTs a piece last year, good for a tie for 5th). The team also brought back former Pro Bowl safety Roy Williams as well as signed former Giant/Dolphin Gibril Wilson. Wilson was subpar with Miami last year, but could return to his New York form and give a boost to a defense that was already top 7 in the four major defensive categories last season(points allowed-6th, total yards-4th, rushing-7th, passing-6th).

So why do I have a team that seems to be so loaded 3rd in the division? Well, beyond the obvious risk taken by putting this many volcanic personalities together, the schedule makers did the Bengals no favor either. Beyond the four games they'll have to play against Pittsburgh and Baltimore(Granted, they swept both last year, but still), the Bengals have road games against the Patriots, Panthers, Colts, Jets and Falcons as well as home games against the Super Bowl champion Saints, the much-improved Dolphins and the dwindling Chargers. Outside of two games against the Browns and a game against Tampa Bay at home, there aren't many gimmes for Cincy. Regardless, the T.O. signing made the Bengals the team to watch in the NFL, not just for the reality show drama, but because, on paper, this team has enough depth at each position to make its first Super Bowl run since the late 80's.

4. Cleveland Browns: If Cleveland residents thought LeBron skipping town was tough to watch, wait until they see the Browns this season. Which problem area shall I start with? Well, for one, new Browns personnel man Mike Holmgren saw fit to retain Eric Mangini despite no evidence from last season(or really, the last few seasons) to suggest that was the right move. Holmgren also thought it was wise to throw a multi-year contract at turnover machine Jake Delhomme to be their stop-gap QB and then traded for aging, undersized backup Seneca Wallace. In the end, the best QB on the roster may be 3rd round pick Colt McCoy, who had a storied career at Texas but slid in the draft thanks to concerns about size, health, arm strength and the fact that he talks like one of the kids from Dukes of Hazzard. Whomever is taking snaps behind center will have quite the quagmire at running back to worry about. Holdover Jerome Harrison is coming off a solid final three games of the season but is caught up in a contract situation that threatens the likelihood of him seeing significant playing time this season. Instead, those touches may go to powerful rookie Monterio Hardesty out of Tennessee. The receiving core is just as uncertain. With the Browns entering the first full season without Braylon Edwards, the big man on campus will probably be Mohammad "Chainsaw" Massaquoi, who showed flashes of being a competent go-to guy last season. He'll be joined by dynamic return man Josh Cribbs and fellow second-year wideout Brian Robiskie in the group of guys Delhomme will be intending to throw to when he's getting picked off left and right by opposing secondaries.

On defense, the team drafted CB Joe Haden out of Florida and traded for veteran Sheldon Brown from Philadelphia to bolster the secondary. As for the other parts of the defense? Dreadful. The team waved bye-bye to top pass rusher Kamerion Wimbley and nose tackle Shaun Rogers is facing a suspension after trying to bring a gun through an airport. Fellow defensive lineman Corey Williams was sent to Detroit, leaving even more of a void in the front seven. To put it plain, the team is a mess. If Holmgren and/or Mangini are as smart as they are believed to be, McCoy is starting for this team by Week 8 because they'll be so far out of it, it will be pointless to keep the vets in. There isn't a member of this franchise another team may want except for maybe ILB D'Qwell Jackson. Other than that, much like their neighboring Cavs, the Browns are years away from respectability and fans have quite a few train wrecks to experience before this team is watchable again.

GABE:

1. Baltimore Ravens - The Ravens will win the division. They have greatly improved their offense with the additions of Boldin and Stallworth. Their one defensive weakness was the secondary even before the Ed Reed injury. I think they are too strong everywhere else on the field though.

Fantasy Focus:

Running Backs - Ray Rice is a stud. Last year he had 332 touches, 2041 total yards, and 8 TD's. More importantly, he is one of the very few clear cut workhorse backs in the NFL. He is not mired in a running-back-by-committee (RBBC) situation. Barring injury, expect Rice to post similar numbers this year. Willis McGahee will get some goal-line carries but is only worth a late, late (like next to last) pick if you've drafted Rice and want to handcuff, or need a bench RB in a touchdown-only league.

Quarterbacks - Joe Flacco is on the rise. Last year he posted over 3,600 passing yards and that was without the talent he has this year. He also isn't afraid to pull it down and run on occasion. That may be worth a bonus touchdown or two throughout the year. I think he's a sleeper pick to end up as a top-10 fantasy quarterback this year.

Receiving - The Ravens welcome Anquan Boldin and Donte Stallworth this year. Boldin is going to have to adjust to being an no. 1 receiver but should still put up borderline WR1 numbers. Last year's top target Derrick Mason is getting up there in age, but he's consistent and should still be a reliable WR3. (I love Derrick Mason, in a fantasy way. I've had him so many years in a row in my big money league that my wife thinks it's not football season unless I'm yelling "Throw it to Mason!!" during Ravens games.) Stallworth might be worth drafting in deep leagues. Mark Clayton will be a bust. Tight End Todd Heap has fallen off. At this point he is probably a decent TE2 option only.

Defense/ST - The defense has added lots of young talent, but the secondary is a concern. The front seven is still strong enough to make this a top-10 fantasy defense.

2. Cincinnati Bengals - I'll take Cincinnati to get through their tough schedule (opening against New England and Baltimore, and a stretch in the middle of year when they play five games out of seven against 2009 playoff teams) and win more games than Pittsburgh starting the season without Roethlisberger.

Fantasy Focus:

Running Backs - Cedric Benson joined the fantasy elite last year after struggling in Chicago. He is now a legit no. 1 fantasy back. I expect Benson to produce much like he did last year, with the ubiquitous barring injury. This team is now a running team and he'll get the touches. Bernard Scott and Brian Leonard are only worth drafting to handcuff Benson.

Quarterback - Beware of the bust. Carson Palmer was expected to return to form in 2009 and didn't. He will turn 30 this year and probably won't get back to where he was three years ago. He is no longer a fantasy starter, but could be a good option for a bye week spot start.

Receiving - Speaking of guys whose best days are behind them....Chad Ochocinco. He was best when he had a great no. 2 receiver taking some of the pressure off of him. This year the Bengals brought in Antonio Bryant, and he ain't scaring anybody. I think Chad is mid-level WR2 at this point. His elite days are over. Bryant will be a decent back-up WR option. I wouldn't take any other Bengals WR's. They are a run-first team now so their third and fourth receivers won't get many looks. Rookie TE Jermaine Gresham should get some red-zone targets and have value in touchdown-only leagues, but don't expect much value otherwise.

Defense/ST - Cincinnati has been loading their defense with young talent. They will most likely end up as a middle of the road fantasy defense, but they have the potential to do more.

3. Pittsburgh Steelers - I think being without Roethlisberger to start the year is going to be too much for the Steelers to overcome.

Fantasy Focus:

Running Backs - I love Rashard Mendenhall this year. The RBBC mess Pittsburgh has had in recent years is gone. He enters the season as the man in Pitt. Mendenhall is a bit of a sleeper and will end up a top-10 back this year. If he falls past the first round in your draft, grab him, it will be a steal. Keep and eye on rookie Jonathan Dwyer too, especially in keeper leagues. Should Mendenhall get hurt Dwyer will be ready to fill in.

Quarterback - Roethlisberger is out for six weeks. Dennis Dixon is probably going to start. Dixon is probably not going to be worth having on your fantasy roster. Roethlisberger is going to be on fire when he comes back. Because of the suspension he should be available late in drafts. Get a starter and then stash Big Ben on your bench until he comes back.

Receiving - Hines Ward and Mike Wallace could be looked at as Pittsburgh options 1 and 1A. Ward is getting old and Wallace is young. They should both be looked at low level WR2 or high WR3 options, depending on the size of your league. The rest of the WR's are familiar names (Antwaan Randle El, Limas Sweed, Arnaz Battle, etc.) but are not worth any fantasy consideration. Tight end Heath Miller is a reliable option. He should finish somewhere in the top 10 for fantasy TE's, closer to ten than one though.

Defense/ST - Last year they were suffering a Super Bowl hangover and lost Troy Polamalu for most of the season and were still an elite group fantasy-wise. Polamalu is back and healthy and that will only make this unit better. Expect them to be a top-10 unit again.

4. Cleveland Browns - They stink. They would probably finish behind the Bengals and Buckeyes in a poll of the best football teams in Ohio.

Fantasy Focus:

Running Back - Rookie Montario Hardesty and 2009 breakout Jerome Harrison give this team a full fledged RBBC. Harrison is better pick right now because of his experience, but is a borderline RB2 option. Hardesty will get his chances though. Watch this situation closely because if one of these guys struggles the other one will jump to take the lead role.

Quarterbacks - The Browns got rid of Derek Anderson and Brady Quinn and brought in Jake Delhomme, Seneca Wallace, and drafted Colt McCoy. This is the fantasy equivalent of trading in an '87 Toyota Tercel for an '85 Dodge Omni with 4 more horsepower. (The 4 horsepower represent McCoy's potential.) They are all fantasy garbage. Avoid this QB situation at all costs.

Receiving - The only WR's on this roster worth drafting are Mohamed Massaquoi and Josh Cribbs, and Cribbs is only worth it if you get points for return yards from individuals. He is not worth it for his offensive production. Massaquoi is a borderline fantasy starter at best, and that's only in deep leagues. He is a back-up in any league with 12 teams or fewer. Don't touch any of their tight ends.

Defense/ST - This unit has value because of Cribbs. He is the best return man in the league. This D was eighth in the league in sacks last year, but they traded Kameron Wimbley, their best pass rusher. Bottom line, the defense is going to stink, but their special teams are amazing. They are an average unit overall that will boom or bust week to week, depending on Cribbs' performance.

Once again, I don't care about kickers, and neither should you.

AFC South Preview

Moving right along.....our take on the AFC South.

Dave:

1. Indianapolis Colts: Every year, we keep wondering when the downward spiral for the Colts is going to come. Every year, we wait for Peyton Manning to have an off year or get hurt. Every year, we keep talking ourselves into someone out of the Tennessee/Houston/Jacksonville trio that is going to step up and topple Indy.

Every year, it never happens.

To fufill my obligations of the annual "This could be the year the Colts fall because...." scenario, I will say that there is an interesting wrinkle in this year's Colts that hasn't been there in recent years: The potential of a holdout by star receiver Reggie Wayne. With a lockout looming and Wayne not getting any younger, the All-Pro wideout understandably wants one last payday. Colts GM Bill Polian has been vehemently against giving Wayne a re-up and what we will see over the coming months will be an epic staredown between one of the great contract negotiators in the game and the franchise QB's favorite target. If you had to place bets on who would bend, bet the house on Wayne folding. After all, this is the same team that kicked Colts legend Marvin Harrison to the curb just last year. The Colts also have Anthony Gonzalez returning to a receiving core that also has last year's breakout rookies Austin Collie and Pierre Garcon. There's also Peyton's other favorite target: tight end Dallas Clark. None of them, however, are Reggie Wayne and Wayne's contract situation is worth keeping an eye if things get nasty as the season progresses.

Another thing to file in the "This might be the year Indy falls" category would be the tradition of Super Bowl losers falling flat the following season. For as good as the Colts' passing game will be(with or without Wayne), the running game leaves much to be desired. The Colts finished dead last in the NFL in rushing last year(averaging a putrid 80.9 yards per game on the ground). Of course, that didn't stop the Colts from winning the AFC last year, but lightning doesn't strike in the same place twice. The defense was so-so last year as well, giving up 124 yards per game on the ground(24th in the NFL) and 212 yards through the air(14th in the NFL). Helping that cause will be tenacious first-round pick, DE Jerry Hughes, and the hopefully healthy return of pass-rushing phenom Dwight Freeney. Still, in a division that will see the Colts go up against two of the three best RBs in the NFL(Tennessee's Chris Johnson, Jax's Maurice Jones-Drew) as well as an improved running game in Houston(addition of rookie Ben Tate), the lack of improvement to the run defense in the offseason is a bit troubling.

The Colts' fate relies on everything bouncing their way, be it the health of S Bob Sanders, Reggie Wayne's contract beef and/or the re-emergence of the running game, and history has shown that teams that lose the Super Bowl don't get as lucky. So, again, this COULD be the year Indy falls, but after being wrong for years and being disappointed by the inability of the rest of the pack to emerge, I'll believe the Colts will fall when I see it.

2. Tennessee Titans: The Titans may have notched their biggest win of the season before the season even started by coming to terms on a revamped contract for last year's 2,000-yard rusher Chris Johnson. With Johnson no longer expected to soil training camp with a nasty holdout, Tennessee can focus on its next big issue: Making a legit QB out of Vince Young. We know Vince knows how to win and we know Vince has the tools to be every bit of the game-changer his college headlines suggested coming out of Texas a couple years ago. This year, if the Titans are going to contend, we need to see what Vince has got. That's why I don't have the Titans in the Wild Card. I just can't trust Vince Young to take that next step. I'm also leery of the toll of last year's season combined with the fact LenDale White isn't around to take some of the pounding will have on Johnson. As for receivers, there's last year's first round pick Kenny Britt, who led all Titans in receiving. He'll be complemented by former Steeler Nate Washington and highly touted rookie Damien Williams. There's also the threat of Johnson coming out of the backfield. That all sounds good on paper, but it comes down to Young putting it all together and, again, I just can't see it happening.

On defense, the Titans replaced top pass rusher Kyle Vanden Bosch with first round pick Derrick Morgan out of Georgia Tech. Morgan was considered the most complete end in the Draft but got himself into an early hole thanks to a DUI last month. Joining Vanden Bosch on the list of former Titans is longtime linebacker Kevin Bulluck(who recently signed with the Giants). Those two losses might be too much for the defense to overcome, since Tennessee is asking for Pro Bowl-caliber production out of guys who are either rookies or have limited experience. The secondary will be solid with Michael Griffin and Chris Hope at the safety spots and Jason McCourtey and Cortland Finnegan at the corners, but their ability to make plays will depend on guys like Morgan putting pressure on the quarterback. The Titans remain in the hunt to bring back disgruntled Redskin and former Titan DT Albert Haynesworth. His return could drastically change the defense, but the team's success relies on Tennessee's athletic Big Three(Young, Johnson and Britt). If Young continues to be held back by mental demons or Johnson breaks down from the workload or Britt finds himself back at the bottom of the depth chart(or any combination of the three), then it's going to be another long season for Titans fans and, this time, they won't be able to blame Kerry Collins.

3. Houston Texans: Much like expecting the Colts to fall each year, there's the annual "When Will The Texans Become A Playoff Team?" question. They had a lot of sleeper buzz going into last season due to the trio of QB Matt Schaub, WR Andre Johnson and RB Steve Slaton. Schaub and Johnson delivered. Slaton didn't. This year, Slaton has found himself a platoon partner(Auburn rookie Ben Tate) to be the power complement to his lightning-fast speed. The Texans also get tight end Owen Daniels back, who was off to a hot start before a knee injury cut his season short. The Texans remain confident the presence of the beefy Tate and an renewed focus by Slaton(not to mention Arian Foster, who took over for Slaton down the stretch last year) will give them the ground complement their explosive air attack sorely needed. The problem with that is head coach Gary Kubiak and his tendency to play roulette with his RB depth chart. Slaton can't get on a roll if Kubiak suddenly feels the urge to play Foster or gets enamored with Tate.

Defensively, the Texans keep getting scarier. They'll miss two-time Defensive Rookie of the Year Brian Cushing for four games thanks to a PED suspension. Luckily, they'll still have a defense chock full of impressive young talent. Stealing Cushing's tackles the first four games will be tackling machine DeMeco Ryans, who passed the 100-tackle mark for fourth time in as many seasons. The Texans also have two young lynchpins on the defensive line in former #1 overall pick Mario Williams at end and young DT Amobi Okoye. Okoye hasn't been the interior terror many had hoped after his 5.5 sack rookie season(just 2.5 sacks combined the last two years since) but he's still only 23. Houston bid adieu to corner Dunta Robinson and turned heads by replacing him with Alabama corner Kareem Jackson over the much more touted Kris Wilson. Helping Jackson out in the secondary will be the man who gives Tom Brady nightmares, SS Bernard Pollard, and Brady's former teammate Eugene Wilson at FS.

All signs point to the defense being good and the sleeper buzz is still strong in H-Town, but what's keeping me from putting them ahead of Tennessee is the uncertainty in the running game. Beyond his fumbling troubles, Slaton is also injury-prone. Foster is a nice back but he's never done it over a full season and I'm not nearly as high on Tate as many others are. For now, the Texans are a team that is one-dimensional on offense(although the Schaub-to-Andre 3000 tandem is a very good one-trick pony) and still growing on defense. They lost alot of close fourth quarter games last season. Did they learn from it and are ready to show the NFL they are ready for primetime or are they still waiting to grow up?

4. Jacksonville Jaguars: The Jags have a lot of people scratching their heads so far this season. A team that scored an average of 18 points per game spent four of their six draft picks on defense, including a jaw-dropper in the first round by taking virtual unknown Tyson Alualu at #10(many projected him at last-first/early second). Then, rather than get in the market for a wideout like Brandon Marshall or Anquan Boldin(both Florida boys, mind you), the Jags used their money to bring in former Packer Aaron Kampman to bolster the pass rush and said bye-bye to last year's free agent flop, WR Torry Holt. The Jags also shipped Pro Bowl DT John Henderson out of town in a draft-day trade to Oakland. The end result is a team that looks worse than last year's 7-9 bunch. The one bright spot for Jacksonville is the man called "Pocket Hercules", RB Maurice Jones-Drew. Thanks to an offseason getting him no help, MoJo returns to his role as the offense's one-man show. M.J.D. will be hoping QB David Garrard will be returning to the form that got Garrard his big extension a couple years. That may be wishful thinking. Reports out of camp have said the QB to watch has been journeyman Luke McCown. Given the temperature under the caboose of head coach Jack Del Rio, don't be surprised if Garrard gets the hook early in favor of McCown should Garrard falter.

And really, how could Garrard not fail? Nobody hardly heard of Mike Sims-Walker prior to his breakout year last year and even with his newfound success, Walker couldn't keep himself out of Del Rio's dog house. Outside of Sims-Walker, who is there? Mike Thomas is decent, but's he's 5'8. Troy Williamson has been a bust since Day 1 and beyond them is a bunch of unproven youngsters. Former first round tight end Marcedes Lewis has scored all of 7 TDs in four years and the chances of a Vernon Davis-like breakout seems unlikely. On top of that, there's Jacksonville's nightmare opening month: Denver, at San Diego, Philly, Indy. There's a good chance of a quick 0-4.

Defensively, the days of John Henderson and Marcus Stroud dominating the inside are now officially over. Instead, the Jags will rely on Alualu to not succumb to the pressure of his shockingly high selection as well as hope Kampman bounces back quick from last year's ACL tear(which is a two-year injury, as any Pats fan can tell you after watching Brady last year). So a team that 27th against the pass WITH Big John in the middle now has to face four teams who love to pass in the first month. If Del Rio isn't the first coach canned in 2010, I'd be plenty surprised. The team looked like they were tuning him out last year, and this group appears to be much worse.







Gabe:


This division has abundant fantasy talent. There are players in this division in the top 10 at each position, including the top player at at least two different positions. The offenses in this division are high powered so don't be surprised if players from the AFC South are being taken all over your fantasy draft.


Here we go...


1. Indianapolis Colts - Houston is on the rise but I think the Colts still have enough in the tank to hold them off again this year.
Fantasy Focus:
Quarterback - Peyton Manning is still among the league's elite. Last year he threw for 4,500 yards and 33 touchdowns, the second highest totals in his career. He is not showing any signs of diminishing either. He is definitely the most consistent, elite, fantasy QB in the league. He'll probably end up a top-3 fantasy quarterback this year.
Running Backs - Joseph Addai and Donald Brown define RBBC (running back by committee). Their talents are exactly opposite. Brown is the big play guy, but also led the league in carries for zero or negative yardage. Addai is the short yardage guy. He is a better blocker and pass catcher. Expect them to basically split time evenly unless one of them gets hurt. Brown is worth some extra consideration in dynasty leagues, especially because Addai will be a free agent in 2011.
Receiving - The Colts have four WR's worth drafting in most standard leagues. Reggie Wayne is still an elite fantasy WR. He is as consistent as Peyton Manning. He has had six straight seasons with over 1,000 yards and three with double digit TD's. There is no reason to think he won't do the same this year. Pierre Garcon is currently the Colts' no. 2 receiver and best deep threat. As long as he isn't taken out of the line-up by a returning Anthony Gonzalez he'll be a solid fantasy WR2. Austin Collie and the aforementioned Gonzalez will be fighting for the No. 3 receiver spot. Both are worth stashing on your bench because even though this receiving corps is crowded, any of them could have a big game. Tight end Dallas Clark is among the fantasy elite and is arguably the top fantasy tight end in the league. He may get caught up in the crowded receiving corps in Indy, but is still a top option.
Defense/ST - Last year they allowed plenty of rushing yards but forced lots of turnovers. They addressed defensive needs in the draft this year and should be a better than average fantasy unit. They will probably finish just outside of the top 10.


2. Houston Texans - The Texans have lots of talent on both sides of the ball. They are getting better but need to finally put it all together and make the playoffs or else they may find their fans getting impatient. All that talent translates to big things in the fantasy world though.
Fantasy Focus:
Quarterback - Quick, who led the league in passing yards last year? Of course the answer is Texans QB Matt Schaub or else it would have been really lame for me to ask that question here. Schaub played all 16 games and led all passers with 4,770 yards. Schaub has plenty of weapons and as long has he stays healthy he should put together another great season. Consider him a top tier fantasy quarterback.
Running Backs - The running back situation in Houston is a three headed RBBC. Ben Tate is the hot shot rookie. Steve Slaton is full of talent but had a disappointing end to last year. Arian Foster was Slaton's replacement as the starter at the end of last year. Most outlets have Tate supplanting everyone to be the starter by the middle of the year. I wouldn't count out a Slaton resurgence. Forget about Foster. He'll only play if Slaton and Tate get injured. Watch this position closely in camp and at the start of the season to see if one of these guys emerges.

Receiving - Last year, in my capacity as Houston Texans guru at ProSportsBlogging.com, I said Andre Johnson was the best receiver in the league. All he did was prove me right by catching for 1569 yards and 9 touchdowns. Expect similar numbers this year. I also wouldn't worry about his production suffering if Schaub gets injured. Dan Orlovsky is a capable back-up and Johnson is too good to not get open. Johnson is going to produce no matter what. After Johnson, the only Texans WR worth drafting is Kevin Walter. He is coming off of an injury but should be a solid WR3. The reason no other Houston WR is worth drafting is because of tight end Owen Daniels. He is without a doubt a top tier fantasy tight end and is treated as another receiver in their offense. He was hurt for the last half of the year in 2009, but in eight games he produced 519 yards and five touchdowns. Those are big time numbers.

Defense/ST - Last year the run defense started awfully (partly because Chris Johnson ran all over them in Week 2), but they came together and finished as a top-10 rushing unit. They will still be a great until against the run and will be great pass rushing, but still struggle against the pass otherwise. Finishing in the middle of the league is the best they can hope for.

3. Tennessee Titans -

Fantasy Focus -

Quarterbacks - After getting benched to start last year, Vince Young has securely grabbed the starting role. He's a below average passer with below average receiving talent. He does pull the ball down and run every now and then so there is added fantasy value there. Let's face it, this is a run-first, run-second, and throw to Chris Johnson on third down offense. Vince Young is a decent fill-in for your starting quarterback's by week, but not much else.

Running Back - Chris Johnson. Done and done. Alright, I'll give you a little more. Last year all CJ did was run for over 2,000 yards, catch passes for over 500 yards, and score 16 total touchdowns. He also had three touchdown runs of 85 yards or more last year, as many as any other player in NFL history has had in their career. Read that last sentence again slowly and let it sink in....Walter Payton, Emmit Smith, Barry Sanders, Gale Sayers, Marshall Faulk. Think of those names and that sentence. AND...he did all of that with LenDale White on the team. Even with White he was clearly the only offensive weapon on the team and he still couldn't be stopped. White is gone now and there is some concern that CJ's touches will be limited to prevent injury, but all of the hype is still warranted. In standard leagues he is the best. In PPR leagues he is the best. In touchdown only leagues he is the best. In leagues that give bonuses for long touchdown he is definitely the best. He probably won't get 2,000 yards rushing again, but 1,800 and another 500 receiving with double digit touchdowns should be expected. He should be the first player taken off the board in every fantasy draft. If you draft CJ and for some reason are worried about injury, draft rookie LeGarrette Blount and hope CJ doesn't go down. Javon Ringer and Alvin Pearman (Wahoo-Wa!) aren't worth drafting.

Receiving - Dave's boy Kenny Britt (from Rutgers) is the only Tennessee player that is a starting fantasy WR, and even he is only a borderline WR3. Nate Washington and Justin Gage are worth a bench spot, but none of the receivers will be worth much more unless the Titans start to throw the ball more. Tennessee is clearly a run first offense, always keep that in mind. Tight end Bo Scaife is currently a starter. He gets yards but few touchdowns. He is a borderline fantasy starter at best. Keep an eye on back-up TE Jared Cook. The Titans like him, he has huge upside, and he may be a great waiver wire pick-up in season.

Defense/ST - The Titans defense has lost a lot of veteran presence; Kyle Vanden Bosch, Keith Bulluck, etc. This has made way for young talent and I think the Titans are a sleeper to be a top-10 fantasy unit.

4. Jacksonville Jaguars

Fantasy Focus:

Quarterbacks - David Garrard has had two seasons in which he started 16 games. He had nearly identical seasons...roughly 3,600 yards in each season. He threw 17 TD's in one season and 18 TD's in the other. And that was with zero at receiver. He is much better option at home (2,100 yards last year), so Garrard is a good bye week start if he is at home, but not much more.

Running Backs - Starter Maurice Jones-Drew is a fantasy stud. He is only 5'7" but is strong and built like a bowling ball. There may be a risk of him wearing down, but in the short term he is a top-3 option at running back. Rashad Jennings is Mojo-D's back-up. Draft Jennings to handcuff Mojo and pray to God you don't have to use him.

Receiving - Jacksonville's receiving corps is full of fantasy also rans. Their top option, Mike Sims-Walker, is a mid-level WR3. Their second receiver, Mike Thomas, is only worth drafting as the last back-up in the deepest of leagues. QB Garrard has his best games at home, so Sims-Walker and Thomas will be used as bye week fill-ins, as long as they are playing at home. Starting tight end Marcedes Lewis doesn't score many touchdowns, so he is a fantasy back-up at best. Keep an eye on back-up tight end Zach Miller. He had a huge game in Week 17 of last year (8 catches, 69 yards, 2 TD's), so he might start getting more looks.

Defense/ST - They used to be one of the best. They stink now. They also have the brutal misfortune of having to play the other offenses in the AFC South twice a year. Yup, that's two games each against CJ, Peyton Manning and the Colts, and Andre 3000. Six games, also read 40-50% of your fantasy regular season. They aren't worth any fantasy consideration, even in the deepest of leagues.

Starting Lineups: Hottest Female Athletes

Due to unexpected events in our respective legal hustles, Gabe and I haven't been able to deliver the "Starting Lineups" weekly feature like we had initially hoped. Luckily, we found some time in our otherwise busy schedule to muster up our lists of the 9 hottest female athletes. I know ranking women based solely on physical appearance will make our female audience feel alienated(all 3 of them) and, we apologize for that.....sort of. After all, we ARE men and, in a neverending struggle to find something that is both original and appealing, sometimes you have to go with this proven theory: Guys love talking about hot chicks.

So, here goes our takes on the hottest women in the sports game. Ladies, we're sorry. Gentlemen, you're welcome.

DAVE:

9. Danica Patrick/Ashley Force(racing): This was the toughest call of the list for me. There's no denying Ashley Force deserves a spot on this list, but with only nine spots to give, it was tough leaving Danica off. My problem with Danica is she suffers from what Bill Simmons calls "The Ellen Barkin Face". In some pictures or interviews, Danica looks every bit as smoking hot as her press clippings suggest. In others, I wonder if she was once a dude. I've even had conversations where I refer to Ms. Patrick as Trannica...I know, I know, harsh. What can I say? I'm an asshole. Sue me. Force, the daughter of legendary racer John Force, would probably get a lot more pub if there was room for more than one high-profile female in the socially ass-backwards world of racing. As it happens, Patrick is the hot racing chick du jour and Force will have to wait until Patrick inevitably fades away or has a penis bulge out of her tracksuit. Whichever comes first.

8. Sasha Cohen(ice skating): Ice skating was once a gold mine for attractive female athletes. There was Nancy Kerrigan, Oksana Baiul, Tara Lipinski....even Tonya Harding's crazy ass was somewhat attractive. While the come-uppance of females in other sports(namely softball and gymnastics) has put ice skating on the back-burner, Sasha Cohen represents there's still some heat on the ice. Don't believe me? Check THIS out. We can debate for hours whether Cohen deserves to be above the Danica or even Ashley Force, but that picture sealed the deal for me.

7. Sue Bird(basketball): We always tend to write off women's basketball because, well, most of its stars are a bit manly looking and, outside of a couple gifted gals, they can't throw it down like their male counterparts. However, if ANYONE can give the guys a reason to watch the WNBA, it's former UCONN star/Seattle Storm guard Sue Bird. Bird isn't head-turning hot, but she has that girl next door look that always seems to catch an eye or two. She's like Jessica Biel during her 7th Heaven days before the jaw-dropping curves or Katie Holmes in Dawson's Creek before the crazy, ambiguously gay husband. Again, Bird's looks are helped by the fact that she plays in a world filled with amazons. She's like the girl in the red dress during Schindler's List. Regardless, she's still deserving of a spot on this list.

6. Natalie Gulbis(golf): Natalie Gulbis is a bit of a rarity. Not because she's a hot lady golfer(although those are few and far between), but mainly because she had CONSENSUAL sex with Ben Roethlisberger. In a lot of ways, Gulbis looks like Erin Andrews without the large beak. Tall. Blonde. Dangerous curves. Well-built. Gulbis kind of faded from the celebrity scene after heating up the course during the middle part of the last decade(and, maybe that's for the best, since her last high-profile boyfriend is now an alleged two-time rapist. On top of that, she plays the same sport as the sports world's most infamous philanderer. You really think it's safe for Natalie on the tees now that Tiger is officially on the prowl? Didn't think so.) Natalie's only 27 so there's plenty of time for her to make a comeback, and you have to give her kudos for not going Lohan crazy after experiencing so much hype at a young age.

5. Lindsey Vonn(skiing): OK, so I got talked out of WNBA poster girl Candace Parker after taking a longer look at the pics that were up. Plus, there was an overwhelming amount of people who were shocked by Winter Olympics sweetheart Lindsey Vonn being left off the list(or lists). Upon further review, the people were right. Vonn kind of has that Sharon Stone in "Casino" look going and she isn't as ridiculously cut as Parker was(especially in the picture I posted of Candace). So, America, my bad. When trying to rush out a piece, occasionally you tend to overlook things. Take this last-minute edit as a mea culpa and enjoy Ms. Vonn's newfound placement among the list.

4. Sean Johnson(gymnastics): If you were following us last year, you know that I went on a three-week binge after the celebrity softball game that was held during the All-Star Break where I was sipping the Sean Johnson Kool-Aid. Time has passed and other women have moved into my peripherals but this list wouldn't be complete without Ms. Johnson. For one, for guys my age, she has that Gadget from Rescue Rangers thing going on. Not to mention, she has those Earl Campbell thighs paired with that Dhalsim from Street Fighter flexibility(was that enough 80's references for you?). My one issue with my favorite Olympic hero is...well, her name is Sean. It's hard to hype up a woman who shares the same name as four of your best guy friends. I know, that's pithy, but you try having sex with a woman and yell out the name "Sean" and see how awkward you feel. Hell, I feel awkward just typing that...........let's keep it moving....

3. Heather Mitts(soccer): I'll admit that I had no clue who Heather Mitts was until I started doing research for this piece. Once I came across her though, I was damn sure glad I did my homework. Women's soccer kind of took a turn for the worst after Mia Hamm retired and married Toucan Sam look-a-like Nomar Garciaparra. Luckily, Mitts fell in our lap. Her body? Ridiculous? Her face? Like a blonde Alanis Morrisette. Her spot on this list? SOLIDIFIED.

2. Jennie Finch(softball): You knew it was inevitable that Jennie Finch would make the list. She exploded onto the scene blowing away hitters with her fastball and blowing away guys with her curves. The knock on Finch, if there was one, is that she always seems to have that look on her face like she's surprised to see you. Not only that, but her tireless quest to stay in top shape changed her from sexy queen of the mound to a bulky intimidator. I know some guys like chicks who look like they can beat the snot out of them, but I'm afraid I am not one of them. Is Finch still unbelievably hot? Absolutely. Would I want to stand between her and the last jar of creatine at GMC? Hell no.

1. Maria Sharapova(tennis): Tennis didn't always give us athletes to oogle over. Nobody really dropped their jaw over Billie Jean King. Then, around the 90's, we got Monica Seles and Jennifer Capriati and then we moved on to Anna Kournikova and Serena Williams. Now, there's a new net princess on the top of the mountain: Maria Sharapova. Unlike Anna K, Sharapova is a winner and, unlike Serena, her star power hasn't been trumped by arrogance and a crazy father. Sharapova hasn't won anything since 2008 and her ranking has dropped from #1 stunner in 2005 to currently at 15th. Regardless of what the WTA thinks, she's still numero uno on my list.

Gabe's List:


Yeah, I'm not going to explain these choices very much. Just look at the pictures and judge for yourself.


9. Becky Hammon - She was the reason this list was generated. She plays for the San Antonio franchise of the WNBA. I stumbled upon pictures of her because a story on the San Antonio Spurs website. I sent Dave something about her and he came back with this idea. Cute face. Fit body that's not scary athletic. I think she's a great start to this list.


8. Amanda Cicchini - (Be sure to scroll down for the goodness.) She makes this list in a special way because she is the only one that I have seen play live. She was a soccer player for WVU and I watched play in a tournament once. I don't remember much about that tourney, except that she and that WVU kicked ass.


7. Elena Dementieva - For this list's purposes tennis a hotbed of umm...talent. Dementieva is tall, leggy, fit. Why am I explaining? Just look at the pictures.


6. Tanith Belbin - Typically I prefer brunettes but this makes the fourth consecutive blonde (at least part-time) on my list. I remember noticing her during the most recent Winter Olympics and am happy I rediscovered her while researching this list. Oh yeah, she's a Canadian ice dancer. That counts as being an athlete, right?


5. Amanda Beard - Tall, brunette swimmer with amazing eyes and a body to match. Plus, she's posed for Playboy. Awesome.


4. Misty May - Let's be honest, we could probably make this entire list from unknown beach volleyball hotties. I'll let the worlds most famous be representative of them all.


3. Maria Sharapova -I shouldn't need to explain this one. Plus, she's no. 1 on Dave's list. Done and done.


2. Anna Rawson - Discovered this beauty while researching the list. Hooray golf!


1. Alison Stokke - This girl has been a sensation for some time. She is now on the track team at Cal. She's my kryptonite. Brown hair. Cute face. As ass that won't quit. Check the photos to see for yourself.

Cut His Mic Off

"There's going to be times when we might lose one, two games in a row, maybe two games, three games in a row, you never know. It's going to seem like the world is crashed down. You all are going to make it seem like the World Trade has just went down again. But it's not going to be nothing but a couple basketball games lost and we'll have to get back on track."

--Miami Heat guard Dwayne Wade

At least once in our lifetimes, we've been hit with some cliche, over-exaggerated statement that's sole purpose was to make the situation at hand seem more dramatic. "It's hotter than hell out here." "I'm so hungry, I can eat a horse." Obviously, none of these phrases are meant to be taken LITERALLY. The same can probably be said for Dwayne Wade's temporary act of stupidity when he compared a Heat losing streak to the worst attack on American soil, an attack that killed nearly 4,000 Americans.

There are certain sacred cows that people with even the slightest bit of common sense know not to make comparisons to. 9/11 is one of them. Even nearly nine years removed from one of the most surreal acts of terrorism witnessed in recent memory, people aren't ready to put the image of planes flying into the World Trade Center behind them. Lives were lost. Families were ruined. You can still smell the death in the air around Ground Zero. A statement like the one made above is one I expected from a Grade A moron like Ron Artest or Gilbert Arenas. D-Wade? Well, I thought he was smarter than that. It turns out that I was wrong.

Here's how the Heat losing three in a row would be like 9/11, Dwayne: If the Heat make it to the Finals, and then right after Game 1, someone hijacks their plane and flies it into a building....AND KILLS 3,000 FUCKING PEOPLE! Now, I was fortunate enough to not lose anybody in 9/11, so maybe the outrage over Wade's poorly chosen comparison would be better made by somebody closer to the situation(although, I was living 40 minutes from NYC when it happened). We live in the hyperbole age. Every great Super Bowl is the "the greatest Super Bowl ever". We compare young upstarts to their legendary counterparts before they even reach the midpoint of their careers. Reggie Bush was the next Gale Sayers. LeBron was the next Jordan. It goes on and on. So, while Wade's statement was a bit surprising(mainly, given who said it), it isn't too much different from the normal overdramatic jargon we hear from the Stu Scotts and Mike Tiricos of the world(although, even THEY know not to mention sports and September 11th in the same sentence).

My question for Dwayne is "Why?" Why are we talking about losing streaks for a team whose roster isn't even filled out yet that MAY happen during a season in which the schedule hasn't even been finalized and is nearly four months away from even tipping off? I understand the anticipation behind this upcoming season and I understand that the Heat will have a tremendous amount of pressure starting on Opening Day, but, right now, this team is dealing with a large amount of bad pub. LeBron James went from being Cleveland's golden child to the most hated man in basketball over the span of one week. There are people who see this Wade/James/Bosh trio as bad for basketball. There is still such a bad taste in the mouths of some. Why are we adding to that by making ridiculous comparisons? And how is Miami losing three games anywhere close to 9/11? It's not even on the same wave length as the Oklahoma bombing. Hell, a Bloods vs. Crips drive-by shooting carries more concern than a Heat losing streak. I know, in this age, reporters and analysts and talking heads will lose their shit if Miami falters a little....but I don't see Stephen A. Smith crying on David Letterman like Dan Rather did following 9/11.

I know Wade apologized, but I take after-the-fact apologies with a large grain of salt. Clearly, the comment wasn't taken out of context and it wasn't like a reporter baited Wade into making the 9/11 comparison. If a journalist walked up to Wade and said "Dwayne, would you say the Heat losing two or three games in a row would cause a widespread panic much like 9/11?" and Wade said "Yes", then I'd be more inclined to rip the person asking the question than hold Wade's feet to the flames. That didn't happen. Instead, a man with somewhat of a college education(not sure how well they teach English at Marquette if one of its most noteworthy alums uses sentences like "it's not gonna be nothing") opened his mouth and made an ass out of himself. Don't think for a second that New Yorkers, already pissed that Wade isn't a Knick right now, won't continue to hold a grudge against Wade from here to eternity the way Cavs fans will continue to throw knives at LeBron. We all say things we don't mean and we all make gregarious statements that are overdramatic and ridiculous. However, there's always a line you don't cross.

Dwayne Wade crossed that line...and for that, his mic has been cut off.

AFC East Preview

Baseball is heading into its second half stretch. The World Cup is over. So is all the hoopla over NBA free agency(no pun intended). So what is left to talk about in the middle of July? Well, I'm glad you asked, Person Who I Made Up For The Sake Of This Rhetorical Question! If you check your calender, we are just a few short weeks from the start of preseason NFL football.


With that in mind, Gabe and I have decided to give our takes on each division for this upcoming season. Would it be smarter to do this next month after someone inevitably blows out their knee in a meaningless exhibition game and crushes their team's hopes of contention? Sure, but we like to live on the edge. Teams are listed in the order we believe they will finish, with an asterisk placed next to them if we think they'll make the Wild Card.



Dave:



1. New York Jets: History has taught us to be leery of teams like the Jets. After all, teams that load up by bringing in a bunch of eccentric, big name free agents in the offseason tend to crash and burn, especially when said team has the pressure of the New York media on its back. However, it's hard not to think of the Jets, at the very least, as the team to beat in the AFC East. By now, you know who the team added in the offseason, but here's a quick rundown: DE Jason Taylor, WR Santonio Holmes, RB LaDainian Tomlinson, and CB Antonio Cromartie. All high-profile names with high-profile egos. As star-studded as that group of mercenaries is, the man to watch of all the Jet newcomers is rookie CB Kyle Wilson. Wilson, the Jets' first rounder in April, was considered by many to be the top corner in the NFL Draft, yet was the 3rd corner selected. With Cromartie's tackling suspect, Wilson could end up upending Cromartie for his spot or, at worst, lock down the nickel job. Either way, both he and Cromartie will be seeing a lot of action as opponents try desperately to avoid Revis Island.



As for the offense, I pronounced L.T. dead about two years ago and I'm glad the man is motivated to prove doubters like myself wrong, but sometimes a man has to look himself in the mirror and realize the magic is gone. L.T. is one of my favorite players of all-time, but his days as a dangerous back are well over. Shonn Greene, on the other hand, is a different story. He is going to be an absolute wrecking ball(though not the factor he would be if Alan Faneca was still in town). Holmes, when he comes back from his four-game suspension, gives the Jets a reliable receiver since both Braylon Edwards and Jerricho Cotchery suffer from Roberto Duran Disease. Dustin Keller will continue to improve and I think he's headed to the Pro Bowl this year. All in all, this is a 13-win team, but alot rides on head coach Rex Ryan's ability to keep all the personalities on this team in check and for QB Mark Sanchez to not get too enamored with his press clippings and go out perform better in his second season.



2. Miami Dolphins: If you read my fantasy football piece, you know I'm high on Dolphins QB Chad Henne this year. A lot of that has to do with the acquisition of former Broncos knucklehead Brandon Marshall but it also has to do with the emergence of second-year wideout Brian Hartline. With Marshall now in place as a bonafide top target and someone defenses should be worried about, Hartline is going to feast on all that open space on the other side of field. Plus, the Dolphins may have the best offensive line in football, led by former #1 overall pick Jake Long at left tackle. On defense, the absence of Jason Taylor will be filled by former CFL standout Cameron Wake. The Dolphins also added Karlos Dansby from Arizona to team with ILB Channing Crowder(who has been slowed thus far with a foot injury, which may or may not wreck his 2010 season, depending on who you talk to). I also like young corners Vontae Davis and Sean Smith to take a step up and I loved the selection of Penn St. defensive lineman Jared Odrick in the first round to add some beef up front.



If there are concerns, it's in the running game. Starting RB Ronnie Brown seems to go down as he heats up and you have to constantly wonder where veteran back Ricky Williams' head is at. Jason Ferguson's absence at nose tackle leaves a huge void in the middle of that 3-4 scheme, a void they hope Odrick or another young pup can fill. At the end of the day, this team will be in the hunt for the Wild Card spot. They seem to have New England's number and they might have enough offensive firepower to at least make things tough for the Jets. There is alot of good teams outside of the division leaders so the Dolphins will need to do better than the 0-3 start they got out to last year if they want to shot at the playoffs.



3. New England Patriots: I know, I know, blasphemy. How can I put the Patriots 3rd? Simple. The allure of this team is based on mystique and its past resume. When you look deep down at this team, there isn't much there. We're told that Tom Brady is now fully back from his ACL injury(although we'll see what happens when a pass rush is coming for Tom Terrific's legs how ready he really is). Wes Welker is not. That leaves Randy Moss as the team's only real proven receiver(and no, I'm not buying Torry Holt. He's just as finished as L.T.). It doesn't bode well for your passing game when you're only proven commodity is a one-dimensional out-runner who has the tendency to sulk when he isn't getting the ball early. The running game is still abysmal. It amazed me that, with all those picks in the first two rounds, the Pats didn't try to move up for a Jahvid Best or a Monterio Hardesty to at least COMPETE with incumbent Laurence Maroney. On defense? Yikes. The team missed Richard Seymour's presence inside as well as Mike Vrabel's pass rush. There isn't a guy in that front seven who worries you except for maybe ILB Jerod Mayo. There's no proven pass rushers and that means that suspect secondary is about to become more suspect. I like Devin McCourtey, the corner from Rutgers they took in the first round, but it doesn't matter who is back there, if a QB has too much time to throw, he will find someone to throw to.



It's time to let go of our declaration of the Patriots as a contender. The run is over. The arrogance of some in that front office has allowed mistakes where there weren't any in past years. Terrible drafting, bad signings, risky play calling. We saw this team in the playoffs. They got ran over by Baltimore....and who'd they bring in since then that makes you think New England isn't every bit as horrid as they were in that Wild Card game? The glory days are over. Their franchise QB is spending time he used to spend watching film and training for the new season in California with his baby mama and his supermodel wife. The coach is making strange move after strange move. The defense is getting old and now so is the offense. Mark my words, if the Pats win 9 games this year, I would shocked. SHOCKED!



4. Buffalo Bills: Speaking of messes, the Bills are the NFL's equivalent of the BP oil spill. A team that could have used a young, hungry new coach like Leslie Frazier or Ron Rivera instead went with proven loser Chan Gailey as their guy. A team that needed offensive line help or a new QB instead got yet another RB to add to a stable that already had troubled Marshawn Lynch and backup Fred Jackson. I like C.J. Spiller. I think he's explosive and, on the right team, he could be a top 5 back. This isn't the right team. The passing game is a mess and the offensive line is non-existent. There is nothing that would keep defenses from stacking eight in the box and stopping Spiller or Lynch or Jackson dead in their tracks.



As for the Bills defense, Buffalo went from having a sucky 4-3 scheme to having an evenmore putrid 3-4 look. Top pass rusher Aaron Schobel was contemplating retirement at press time(and, really, who could blame him?). They don't have a true nose tackle(one of the foundations of running a successful 3-4) unless you are sold on rookie Torell Troup(I'm not). They don't know who their QB is and really, I can't fault Trent Edwards or Brian Brohm for being hesitant to trot out there and risk life and limb. I mean, not only are they going to be running for their lives, but who will they throw to? Lee Evans has proven year after year that he's not a #1 receiver. James Hardy is always hurt. Other than that, there's nobody. T.O. could come in off the street right now and start for this team. If there's a lone bright spot for Buffalo fans, it's that there a few promising young players to build around once they finally can Chan Gailey and get a real coach. Spiller will be electrifying if he gets some blocking up front. S Jairus Byrd, who many feel should have won ROTY amidst the Brian Cushing steroid scandal, is one of the game's better safeties. CB Leodis McKelvin is solid cover corner and even better return guy. The team also is waiting on the potential of former Nittany Lions LB Paul Posluszny and DE/LB Aaron Maybin. Still, while those guys continue to develop, the Bills will spend this season getting Jake Locker's jersey ready in preparation for taking him with next year's top pick. 4 wins. TOPS. And that's if they are lucky.


Gabe (with fantasy football previews):


After reading Dave's preview I realized that, well, I agree, almost 100%, and that's just boring. So I am going to take a different approach. I am going to look at each team from a fantasy perspective and try to get you ready for your fantasy drafts, because well, those are even more imminent than the NFL regular season.


Though rest assured, if there is something Dave has said that I disagree with, I'll point it out.


1. New York Jets - I agree that the Jets will win the division. I also think their defensive backfield is scary. Scary. To me all of the question marks are on offense. Is the running game going to be as good as it was last year? Probably not. Will Mark Sanchez be able to step up with the added pressure that comes with experience and a lesser running game? We'll see.
Fantasy Focus:
Running Backs - Thomas Jones and Leon Washington are gone. Shonn Greene steps in to take over the starting spot, with LaDanian Tomlinson and rookie Joe McKnight backing him up. Greene is a workhorse who, as he showed in last year's playoffs, has all of the potential to be a top 10 fantasy back, but I'm not sure he's there yet. In most mock drafts he is being taken in the late first round, which I think could be a little high. He is clearly the first and second down back, but expect Tomlinson to get most of the third down and short yardage carries. McKnight has little value outside of dynasty league.
Receiving - Braylon Edwards and Santonio Holmes are both ranked by most in the 35-45 range at their position. Holmes is downgraded because of his suspension, Edwards because of his stone hands. Both are high-risk, high-reward prospects. Jerricho Cotchery could have value if the match-up is right, especially with Holmes and Edwards drawing coverage. Tight end Dustin Keller is a sleeper at tight end, also because of the coverage the others will draw.
Quarterbacks - The Jets win because of defense and running. Unless you play in a keeper league Mark Sanchez is not draftable. He might be a bye week fill in, if you have no other option.
Defense/ST - Depending on your league's scoring system the Jets are either the no. 1 or 2 option for team defense. They were awesome last year in every facet of the game and through the draft and free agents they have gotten better. They are one of the few defensive units worth taking earlier then the last two or three rounds of the draft.


2. New England Patriots. I was flirting with the idea of putting the Pats third, and even told Dave as much, but I just can't do it. I think Tom Brady will be back fully from his injury. Wes Welker is going to out for a long time, but Julian Edelman is going fill that role capably. The RBBC (running back by committee) is a fantasy nightmare but they make it work on the field. I think the Pats can put it together for one more season.
Fantasy Focus:
Running Backs - Garbage. Fantasy garbage. Laurence Maroney is the best player of the group, (which also includes "Fragile" Fred Taylor, Kevin Faulk, Sammy Morris, and BenJarvis Green-Ellis), but even he is slipping. Last year the Pats had four backs who had 70 or more carries, and Maroney wasn't one of them. The Patriots play RB's based on match-ups and momentum. There is just too much inconsistency for fantasy purposes.
Receiving - Last year Moss had a shoulder injury. This year he'll be recovered and playing a contract year. I think Moss is still elite and a lower tier WR1. Julian Edelman is worthy of a back-up slot in most standard leagues. Unless you're desperate and in a really deep league no one else in NE is worth drafting, starting tight end Alge Crumpler included.
Quarterback - Tom Brady struggled some last year, but everyone knows the second year back from a knee injury is always better than the first. I expect Brady to be back to form this year and be a top ten fantasy QB. His success depends on Moss staying healthy and Edelman emerging. Consider Brady moderate-risk/high-reward.
Defense/ST - The Patiots have some nice young talent, as Dave went into in his preview. They need some time to gel and until they do the Pats should be considered a middle of the road fantasy defense.


3. Miami Dolphins - I like the improvements to the passing game, but I think the running game is a mess. I have the Dolphins at 3 more because I think the Patriots are going to put it together for one more year and edge the 'Phins in the division race.
Fantasy Focus:
Running Backs - Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams. Brown is probable for the start of camp with a foot injury. Williams is a flake. Williams will begin the season as the starter, but once Brown comes back they will be a full fledged RBBC. Both are decent RB3 options, but I wouldn't draft either as a starter.
Receiving - Brandon Marshall is a stud, a top-10 fantasy WR. Other than him though, there isn't really a receiver worth drafting. Maybe Davone Bess if you're in a deep league (like 12-14 teams and each takes 6 WR's deep), but that is pushing it. Now, quick....who is Miami's starting tight end? Got it? Well, even I had to look it up. Anthony Fasano. He is a mid-level TE2 at best. He should only be considered back-up/bye week replacement role.
Quarterback - Chad Henne averaged 306.5 yards a game in Weeks 13-16 last year, and that was with nothing at receiver. Now he has Brandon Marshall, so he should consistently hit high numbers. I think Henne is a sleeper with a chance to finish in the top 15 among fantasy quarterbacks.
Defense/ST - This team lost a few pieces, but replaced them with some nice players, like Karlos Dansby. Expect this team to perform well against bad offenses, but struggle against good offenses. They'll be a middle of the road fantasy defense.


4. Buffalo Bills - They stink. They are changing defenses and don't have the personnel to successfully run a 3-4. Their offense is just position battle after position battle.
Fantasy Focus:
Running Backs - I can attest, from personal experience, to the frustration of the Marshawn Lynch/Fred Jackson handcuff. I had them both on a team two years ago. Now the situation is even more confused by the addition of rookie C.J. Spiller. Expect Jackson and Spiller to split carries and Lynch to come in situationally. Jackson and Spiller should considered RB3's and Lynch a desperation draft pick. Although, any of the three of them could breakout, so watch this position carefully in camp.
Receiving - Lee Evans is the only Bills receiver worth drafting and even he is only a borderline WR3, making him barely a starter in most leagues. If you get points for return yards then Roscoe Parrish might be worth some late consideration. No other Bills WR should be on your radar. No TE's in the Bills system are worth taking.
Quarterback - This position is a three-way battle between Trent Edwards, Ryan Fitzpatrick, and Brian Brohm. Avoid all three at your draft. Consider whoever is the starter an emergency in-season injury replacement.
Defense/ST - They are moving a 3-4 and don't have the pieces. They have a nice secondary so they have value in leagues that reward INT's. Parrish is a decent return man too. They are a mid-level DST2.


You may have noticed, I didn't say anything about kickers. I don't think about fantasy kickers until the last rounds of my drafts...and neither should you.