So, here goes our takes on the hottest women in the sports game. Ladies, we're sorry. Gentlemen, you're welcome.
DAVE:
9. Danica Patrick/Ashley Force(racing): This was the toughest call of the list for me. There's no denying Ashley Force deserves a spot on this list, but with only nine spots to give, it was tough leaving Danica off. My problem with Danica is she suffers from what Bill Simmons calls "The Ellen Barkin Face". In some pictures or interviews, Danica looks every bit as smoking hot as her press clippings suggest. In others, I wonder if she was once a dude. I've even had conversations where I refer to Ms. Patrick as Trannica...I know, I know, harsh. What can I say? I'm an asshole. Sue me. Force, the daughter of legendary racer John Force, would probably get a lot more pub if there was room for more than one high-profile female in the socially ass-backwards world of racing. As it happens, Patrick is the hot racing chick du jour and Force will have to wait until Patrick inevitably fades away or has a penis bulge out of her tracksuit. Whichever comes first.
8. Sasha Cohen(ice skating): Ice skating was once a gold mine for attractive female athletes. There was Nancy Kerrigan, Oksana Baiul, Tara Lipinski....even Tonya Harding's crazy ass was somewhat attractive. While the come-uppance of females in other sports(namely softball and gymnastics) has put ice skating on the back-burner, Sasha Cohen represents there's still some heat on the ice. Don't believe me? Check THIS out. We can debate for hours whether Cohen deserves to be above the Danica or even Ashley Force, but that picture sealed the deal for me.
7. Sue Bird(basketball): We always tend to write off women's basketball because, well, most of its stars are a bit manly looking and, outside of a couple gifted gals, they can't throw it down like their male counterparts. However, if ANYONE can give the guys a reason to watch the WNBA, it's former UCONN star/Seattle Storm guard Sue Bird. Bird isn't head-turning hot, but she has that girl next door look that always seems to catch an eye or two. She's like Jessica Biel during her 7th Heaven days before the jaw-dropping curves or Katie Holmes in Dawson's Creek before the crazy, ambiguously gay husband. Again, Bird's looks are helped by the fact that she plays in a world filled with amazons. She's like the girl in the red dress during Schindler's List. Regardless, she's still deserving of a spot on this list.
6. Natalie Gulbis(golf): Natalie Gulbis is a bit of a rarity. Not because she's a hot lady golfer(although those are few and far between), but mainly because she had CONSENSUAL sex with Ben Roethlisberger. In a lot of ways, Gulbis looks like Erin Andrews without the large beak. Tall. Blonde. Dangerous curves. Well-built. Gulbis kind of faded from the celebrity scene after heating up the course during the middle part of the last decade(and, maybe that's for the best, since her last high-profile boyfriend is now an alleged two-time rapist. On top of that, she plays the same sport as the sports world's most infamous philanderer. You really think it's safe for Natalie on the tees now that Tiger is officially on the prowl? Didn't think so.) Natalie's only 27 so there's plenty of time for her to make a comeback, and you have to give her kudos for not going Lohan crazy after experiencing so much hype at a young age.
5. Lindsey Vonn(skiing): OK, so I got talked out of WNBA poster girl Candace Parker after taking a longer look at the pics that were up. Plus, there was an overwhelming amount of people who were shocked by Winter Olympics sweetheart Lindsey Vonn being left off the list(or lists). Upon further review, the people were right. Vonn kind of has that Sharon Stone in "Casino" look going and she isn't as ridiculously cut as Parker was(especially in the picture I posted of Candace). So, America, my bad. When trying to rush out a piece, occasionally you tend to overlook things. Take this last-minute edit as a mea culpa and enjoy Ms. Vonn's newfound placement among the list.
4. Sean Johnson(gymnastics): If you were following us last year, you know that I went on a three-week binge after the celebrity softball game that was held during the All-Star Break where I was sipping the Sean Johnson Kool-Aid. Time has passed and other women have moved into my peripherals but this list wouldn't be complete without Ms. Johnson. For one, for guys my age, she has that Gadget from Rescue Rangers thing going on. Not to mention, she has those Earl Campbell thighs paired with that Dhalsim from Street Fighter flexibility(was that enough 80's references for you?). My one issue with my favorite Olympic hero is...well, her name is Sean. It's hard to hype up a woman who shares the same name as four of your best guy friends. I know, that's pithy, but you try having sex with a woman and yell out the name "Sean" and see how awkward you feel. Hell, I feel awkward just typing that...........let's keep it moving....
3. Heather Mitts(soccer): I'll admit that I had no clue who Heather Mitts was until I started doing research for this piece. Once I came across her though, I was damn sure glad I did my homework. Women's soccer kind of took a turn for the worst after Mia Hamm retired and married Toucan Sam look-a-like Nomar Garciaparra. Luckily, Mitts fell in our lap. Her body? Ridiculous? Her face? Like a blonde Alanis Morrisette. Her spot on this list? SOLIDIFIED.
2. Jennie Finch(softball): You knew it was inevitable that Jennie Finch would make the list. She exploded onto the scene blowing away hitters with her fastball and blowing away guys with her curves. The knock on Finch, if there was one, is that she always seems to have that look on her face like she's surprised to see you. Not only that, but her tireless quest to stay in top shape changed her from sexy queen of the mound to a bulky intimidator. I know some guys like chicks who look like they can beat the snot out of them, but I'm afraid I am not one of them. Is Finch still unbelievably hot? Absolutely. Would I want to stand between her and the last jar of creatine at GMC? Hell no.
1. Maria Sharapova(tennis): Tennis didn't always give us athletes to oogle over. Nobody really dropped their jaw over Billie Jean King. Then, around the 90's, we got Monica Seles and Jennifer Capriati and then we moved on to Anna Kournikova and Serena Williams. Now, there's a new net princess on the top of the mountain: Maria Sharapova. Unlike Anna K, Sharapova is a winner and, unlike Serena, her star power hasn't been trumped by arrogance and a crazy father. Sharapova hasn't won anything since 2008 and her ranking has dropped from #1 stunner in 2005 to currently at 15th. Regardless of what the WTA thinks, she's still numero uno on my list.
Gabe's List:
Yeah, I'm not going to explain these choices very much. Just look at the pictures and judge for yourself.
9. Becky Hammon - She was the reason this list was generated. She plays for the San Antonio franchise of the WNBA. I stumbled upon pictures of her because a story on the San Antonio Spurs website. I sent Dave something about her and he came back with this idea. Cute face. Fit body that's not scary athletic. I think she's a great start to this list.
8. Amanda Cicchini - (Be sure to scroll down for the goodness.) She makes this list in a special way because she is the only one that I have seen play live. She was a soccer player for WVU and I watched play in a tournament once. I don't remember much about that tourney, except that she and that WVU kicked ass.
7. Elena Dementieva - For this list's purposes tennis a hotbed of umm...talent. Dementieva is tall, leggy, fit. Why am I explaining? Just look at the pictures.
6. Tanith Belbin - Typically I prefer brunettes but this makes the fourth consecutive blonde (at least part-time) on my list. I remember noticing her during the most recent Winter Olympics and am happy I rediscovered her while researching this list. Oh yeah, she's a Canadian ice dancer. That counts as being an athlete, right?
5. Amanda Beard - Tall, brunette swimmer with amazing eyes and a body to match. Plus, she's posed for Playboy. Awesome.
4. Misty May - Let's be honest, we could probably make this entire list from unknown beach volleyball hotties. I'll let the worlds most famous be representative of them all.
3. Maria Sharapova -I shouldn't need to explain this one. Plus, she's no. 1 on Dave's list. Done and done.
2. Anna Rawson - Discovered this beauty while researching the list. Hooray golf!
1. Alison Stokke - This girl has been a sensation for some time. She is now on the track team at Cal. She's my kryptonite. Brown hair. Cute face. As ass that won't quit. Check the photos to see for yourself.
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