A bad cold kept Gabe from elaborating on his picks last week but didn't keep him from matching his record from Week 2. The same excuse can't apply to Dave, who took a two-game dip from Week 2 and left Week 3 with the same results as his boricua counterpart.
The count still stands with Capo di Tutti Capi up five games on the season, thanks to last week's tie. On to Week 4......
Last Week
Dave: 7-7-2
Gabe: 7-7-2
Season
Dave: 23-20-5
Gabe: 18-25-5
Panthers (+7) at Bears
Dave: Bears - Cam Newton escaped "Perfect Storm" conditions in Carolina to notch his first "W" of his career against the Jags last week. That ALMOST excuses him for using the word "luscious" to describe how he felt after removing his walking boot to stabilize the ankle injury he was nursing in the week leading up to the game. No grown man should ever use the word "luscious", Cam-Cam, unless they're describing a big ass or nice lips. Newton and company won't feel so luscious this week though. If the 2010 Heisman winner thought it was hard to make plays in a monsoon against Jacksonville, he'll be even more flustered trying to get things going against this vaunted Bears D in the Windy City. Panthers D and run attack could make this one close, but I see Jay Cutler getting lucky with a few deep scores. Bears by 10.
Gabe: Carolina – This could be a trap game for the Bears. On paper they should win easily. Unfortunately for them, football games aren’t played on paper…they are played by tiny men on TV screens. Carolina is a dangerous team because they have nothing to lose. They had terribly low expectations this season, so any good play is a bonus. I think the Bears win, but it will be close, a field goal or so.
Bills (-3) at Bengals
Dave: Bills - The good news for Cincinnati is that RB Cedric Benson wasn't arrested this week and is expected to give it a go today. The bad news is the Bills are riding high from snapping their 15-game losing streak to New England last week and, with or without Benson, the Bengals don't have the firepower to keep up with this improved Bills' offensive attack. Cincy has a tendency to make even the games that are supposed to be blowouts close and ugly(see Week 1's fluke W against Cleveland), so maybe Buffalo doesn't run roughshod here. Regardless, the miracle men from Buffalo improve to 4-0 here as Ryan Fitzpatrick whips on one of his former teams. Bills by 9.
Gabe: Buffalo – The Bills might actually be for real. Today’s game won’t tell us anything though. Cincy is no test. Bills win big.
Titans (PK) at Browns
Dave: Titans - Not sure how this game is a pick 'em, but am sure it's going to be bowling shoe ugly. With Kenny Britt done for the season and Chris Johnson still on the "Missing Persons" list, the Titans offense is going to sputter here. As for Cleveland, Peyton Hillis is back from a bad case of strep, but the Titans' defense is better than many think(especially against the run). Cleveland's two wins come from beating two "Suck For Luck" candidates in Indy and Miami, while the Titans can hang their hat on a "W" over Baltimore. With questionable offenses for both teams, I think we're looking at a 10-3 Titans win.
Gabe: Cleveland – Here is this week’s installment of “Gabe’s game he wouldn’t watch even if it was being played in his driveway.” Tennessee is playing better than expected, Cleveland is playing worse. I’ll take Cleveland because they are at home.
Lions (+2.5) at Cowboys
Dave: Lions - Dallas being favored, even at home, to beat an undefeated Lions team after not being able to smell end zone against the Redskins last week is inexcusable. How are the Cowboys keeping up with Detroit offensively with Miles Austin out and their other key stars on O banged up? And who on this piss-poor secondary is stopping Calvin Johnson? I see another 300-yard game from Matt Stafford and Detroit running away with this one. Lions by 14.
Gabe: Detroit – Dallas won an emotional game on Monday night. I think the short rest and the travel are going to hurt them. Plus, Mr. Suh will be harassing Mr. Romo all game. I’ll take Detroit at home in a small upset.
Vikings (-3) at Chiefs
Dave: Chiefs - I don't care if your coach is Vince Lombardi. If you blow double digit leads(including three touchdown leads in the last two weeks) for three straight games, you fire the coach before the postgame interview. Leslie Frazier may very well be a decent head coach, but his team licked the stamp on mailing this season about thirty seconds after Donovan McNabb took his first snap. The Vikings could very well be staring at Andrew Luck this April.....which is why the team needs to put their current old relic at quarterback on the bench and see what they have in Christian Ponder. In the meantime, they need to can Frazier. The season is over. They stand no chance of beating anyone in the division and the defense is either incapable or unwilling to hold even the biggest of leads. You give Ponder his shot this week against a Chiefs team that has shown its own share of ineptitude on defense and go from there. Since that isn't happening, I say Kansas City(better than their record but still not very good) gets their first win here against Minnesota's latest laughingstock. Chiefs by 6 in another dumb spread.
Gabe: Minnesota – This pick is more about how bad Kansas City has been playing. Granted, they have had a ton of injuries, but still. I don’t think they have enough on defense to stop A.P., or enough on offense to keep up with him. Vikings by 6.
Redskins (-3) at Rams
Dave: Rams - I'm not sure if you can call this an "upset special" because St. Louis may very well be decent, but caught a bad break with the early schedule. Eagles, Giants and Ravens to start the season? Brutal. The Redskins, meanwhile, had no reason to not throttle Dallas last Monday night. Instead, they let a team that was hopeless on offense all game long, convert on 3rd and 21 and then steal a win with only a handful of field goals. Sad. That's why I think St. Louis' bad fortune ends and Washington's continues here. Rams QB Sam Bradford has been nursing a busted finger and it might be close to fully healed now. Plus, the Rams have had the Redskins' number, winning three of the last four times they've met(with Washington's lone win coming in a ugly 9-7 win in 2009). I think Nellyville bounces back here at home. Rams by 6.
Gabe: St. Louis – The Rams are struggling and their season could be in trouble. The Redskins lost a heart-breaker to their rivals, Dallas, on Monday night. I’ll give the Rams the nod because I think the ‘Skins will be dealing with a post-Dallas hangover and a lot of travel in a week.
Niners (+9.5) at Eagles
Dave: Eagles - Easiest pick of the week. The Niners struggled to score last week against Cincy and now have to try to keep up with overhyped and overanalyzed "Dream Team". Meanwhile, someone needs to put an A.P.B. out for DeSean Jackson. If future disgruntled stars need someone to look to before deciding to hold out, they should look no further than DeSean Jackson and Chris Johnson when researching how karma comes back to kick holdouts in the ass during the regular season. Obviously, the Niners' best shot here is if they can hurt the NFL's version of Mr. Glass, Mike Vick, and get either Mike Kafka or Vince Young in there to sputter the offense. Other than that, this is a rout. Eagles by 17.
Gabe: Philadelphia – The key to beating the Eagles is getting to Michael Vick. San Fran couldn’t do that on a good day, much less when they have to play a game after traveling cross-country. Philly will be playing angry after last week’s loss to my Giants. Philly will be all over the Niners and win by at least 14.
Saints (-8) at Jaguars
Dave: Saints - I take it back. THIS is the easiest pick of the week. At least the Niners can keep it close by taking out Vick. The Jags? No shot here. Saints by 20.
Gabe: New Orleans – The Saints are going to embarrass the Jags. I think the line on this game could be 20 points and the Saints would still cover. New Orleans by a lot.
Steelers (+3.5) at Texans
Dave: Texans - Because so much time is exhausted on Tony Romo's ribs, Mike Vick's dome and Tom Brady's hair, there hasn't been enough talk about the possibility that Pittsburgh is really bad. They got destroyed Week 1 by Baltimore, then tried to soften the pain of that loss by shutting out a horrible Seahawks team. Then, they squeaked by a Colts team that's in tank mode. The Super Bowl hangover definitely has the Steelers seeing 6's and 7's(except on next to their name on the scoreboard....HI-YO!) and Houston is trying its damnedest to prove its a real contender. A big win at home against the defending AFC champs with a healthy Arian Foster will do just that. Houston by 13.
Gabe: Houston – The prevailing sentiment is Houston finally has it together and Pittsburgh’s defense has gotten old in a hurry. I’m buying it. Quite simply, Houston’s offense has the ability to run circles around the Steelers’ D and I think they will. Texans by a touchdown.
The count still stands with Capo di Tutti Capi up five games on the season, thanks to last week's tie. On to Week 4......
Last Week
Dave: 7-7-2
Gabe: 7-7-2
Season
Dave: 23-20-5
Gabe: 18-25-5
Panthers (+7) at Bears
Dave: Bears - Cam Newton escaped "Perfect Storm" conditions in Carolina to notch his first "W" of his career against the Jags last week. That ALMOST excuses him for using the word "luscious" to describe how he felt after removing his walking boot to stabilize the ankle injury he was nursing in the week leading up to the game. No grown man should ever use the word "luscious", Cam-Cam, unless they're describing a big ass or nice lips. Newton and company won't feel so luscious this week though. If the 2010 Heisman winner thought it was hard to make plays in a monsoon against Jacksonville, he'll be even more flustered trying to get things going against this vaunted Bears D in the Windy City. Panthers D and run attack could make this one close, but I see Jay Cutler getting lucky with a few deep scores. Bears by 10.
Gabe: Carolina – This could be a trap game for the Bears. On paper they should win easily. Unfortunately for them, football games aren’t played on paper…they are played by tiny men on TV screens. Carolina is a dangerous team because they have nothing to lose. They had terribly low expectations this season, so any good play is a bonus. I think the Bears win, but it will be close, a field goal or so.
Bills (-3) at Bengals
Dave: Bills - The good news for Cincinnati is that RB Cedric Benson wasn't arrested this week and is expected to give it a go today. The bad news is the Bills are riding high from snapping their 15-game losing streak to New England last week and, with or without Benson, the Bengals don't have the firepower to keep up with this improved Bills' offensive attack. Cincy has a tendency to make even the games that are supposed to be blowouts close and ugly(see Week 1's fluke W against Cleveland), so maybe Buffalo doesn't run roughshod here. Regardless, the miracle men from Buffalo improve to 4-0 here as Ryan Fitzpatrick whips on one of his former teams. Bills by 9.
Gabe: Buffalo – The Bills might actually be for real. Today’s game won’t tell us anything though. Cincy is no test. Bills win big.
Titans (PK) at Browns
Dave: Titans - Not sure how this game is a pick 'em, but am sure it's going to be bowling shoe ugly. With Kenny Britt done for the season and Chris Johnson still on the "Missing Persons" list, the Titans offense is going to sputter here. As for Cleveland, Peyton Hillis is back from a bad case of strep, but the Titans' defense is better than many think(especially against the run). Cleveland's two wins come from beating two "Suck For Luck" candidates in Indy and Miami, while the Titans can hang their hat on a "W" over Baltimore. With questionable offenses for both teams, I think we're looking at a 10-3 Titans win.
Gabe: Cleveland – Here is this week’s installment of “Gabe’s game he wouldn’t watch even if it was being played in his driveway.” Tennessee is playing better than expected, Cleveland is playing worse. I’ll take Cleveland because they are at home.
Lions (+2.5) at Cowboys
Dave: Lions - Dallas being favored, even at home, to beat an undefeated Lions team after not being able to smell end zone against the Redskins last week is inexcusable. How are the Cowboys keeping up with Detroit offensively with Miles Austin out and their other key stars on O banged up? And who on this piss-poor secondary is stopping Calvin Johnson? I see another 300-yard game from Matt Stafford and Detroit running away with this one. Lions by 14.
Gabe: Detroit – Dallas won an emotional game on Monday night. I think the short rest and the travel are going to hurt them. Plus, Mr. Suh will be harassing Mr. Romo all game. I’ll take Detroit at home in a small upset.
Vikings (-3) at Chiefs
Dave: Chiefs - I don't care if your coach is Vince Lombardi. If you blow double digit leads(including three touchdown leads in the last two weeks) for three straight games, you fire the coach before the postgame interview. Leslie Frazier may very well be a decent head coach, but his team licked the stamp on mailing this season about thirty seconds after Donovan McNabb took his first snap. The Vikings could very well be staring at Andrew Luck this April.....which is why the team needs to put their current old relic at quarterback on the bench and see what they have in Christian Ponder. In the meantime, they need to can Frazier. The season is over. They stand no chance of beating anyone in the division and the defense is either incapable or unwilling to hold even the biggest of leads. You give Ponder his shot this week against a Chiefs team that has shown its own share of ineptitude on defense and go from there. Since that isn't happening, I say Kansas City(better than their record but still not very good) gets their first win here against Minnesota's latest laughingstock. Chiefs by 6 in another dumb spread.
Gabe: Minnesota – This pick is more about how bad Kansas City has been playing. Granted, they have had a ton of injuries, but still. I don’t think they have enough on defense to stop A.P., or enough on offense to keep up with him. Vikings by 6.
Redskins (-3) at Rams
Dave: Rams - I'm not sure if you can call this an "upset special" because St. Louis may very well be decent, but caught a bad break with the early schedule. Eagles, Giants and Ravens to start the season? Brutal. The Redskins, meanwhile, had no reason to not throttle Dallas last Monday night. Instead, they let a team that was hopeless on offense all game long, convert on 3rd and 21 and then steal a win with only a handful of field goals. Sad. That's why I think St. Louis' bad fortune ends and Washington's continues here. Rams QB Sam Bradford has been nursing a busted finger and it might be close to fully healed now. Plus, the Rams have had the Redskins' number, winning three of the last four times they've met(with Washington's lone win coming in a ugly 9-7 win in 2009). I think Nellyville bounces back here at home. Rams by 6.
Gabe: St. Louis – The Rams are struggling and their season could be in trouble. The Redskins lost a heart-breaker to their rivals, Dallas, on Monday night. I’ll give the Rams the nod because I think the ‘Skins will be dealing with a post-Dallas hangover and a lot of travel in a week.
Niners (+9.5) at Eagles
Dave: Eagles - Easiest pick of the week. The Niners struggled to score last week against Cincy and now have to try to keep up with overhyped and overanalyzed "Dream Team". Meanwhile, someone needs to put an A.P.B. out for DeSean Jackson. If future disgruntled stars need someone to look to before deciding to hold out, they should look no further than DeSean Jackson and Chris Johnson when researching how karma comes back to kick holdouts in the ass during the regular season. Obviously, the Niners' best shot here is if they can hurt the NFL's version of Mr. Glass, Mike Vick, and get either Mike Kafka or Vince Young in there to sputter the offense. Other than that, this is a rout. Eagles by 17.
Gabe: Philadelphia – The key to beating the Eagles is getting to Michael Vick. San Fran couldn’t do that on a good day, much less when they have to play a game after traveling cross-country. Philly will be playing angry after last week’s loss to my Giants. Philly will be all over the Niners and win by at least 14.
Saints (-8) at Jaguars
Dave: Saints - I take it back. THIS is the easiest pick of the week. At least the Niners can keep it close by taking out Vick. The Jags? No shot here. Saints by 20.
Gabe: New Orleans – The Saints are going to embarrass the Jags. I think the line on this game could be 20 points and the Saints would still cover. New Orleans by a lot.
Steelers (+3.5) at Texans
Dave: Texans - Because so much time is exhausted on Tony Romo's ribs, Mike Vick's dome and Tom Brady's hair, there hasn't been enough talk about the possibility that Pittsburgh is really bad. They got destroyed Week 1 by Baltimore, then tried to soften the pain of that loss by shutting out a horrible Seahawks team. Then, they squeaked by a Colts team that's in tank mode. The Super Bowl hangover definitely has the Steelers seeing 6's and 7's(except on next to their name on the scoreboard....HI-YO!) and Houston is trying its damnedest to prove its a real contender. A big win at home against the defending AFC champs with a healthy Arian Foster will do just that. Houston by 13.
Gabe: Houston – The prevailing sentiment is Houston finally has it together and Pittsburgh’s defense has gotten old in a hurry. I’m buying it. Quite simply, Houston’s offense has the ability to run circles around the Steelers’ D and I think they will. Texans by a touchdown.
Broncos (+12) at Packers
Dave: Packers - I wanted to reverse jinx this one because there's a chance Denver keeps this within 12, but I talked myself out of it. A once high-powered Broncos' offense has predictably taken a more conservative rout under new coach John Fox. Kyle Orton looks pedestrian. The no-name receivers are now even more no-name. The running game is non-existent. On defense, which is supposed to be Fox's calling card, they are still a work in progress. Now, they get the undefeated defending champs in Lambeau and that vaunted Packers' offense. I think this one gets ugly fast and Clay Matthews busts out of his slump and puts Orton on the ground a couple of times. What we WON'T see is Tim Tebow, which might have been the only thing that could have made it interesting for Broncos fans. Packers by 14.
Gabe: Green Bay – Kyle Orton might die this afternoon. The Packers are stacked on offense and defense. They’ll be up three touchdowns by halftime and easily coast to a double digit victory.
Giants (-1.5) at Cardinals
Dave: Giants - I'm still trying to figure out Gabe's boys in blue. They whoop on Philly last week but lost to lowly Washington in Week 1? So confused. Giants get Osi Umenyiora back and his entrance comes with Justin Tuck's exit. Still, the pass rush will be lethal enough to terrorize Kevin Kolb and company. Meanwhile, Eli Manning will put on a show against a bad Cardinals defense and Giants fans will overreact like Giants' defenders do when they fake injuries. Giants by 10.
Gabe: New York – The Giants don’t really have a top-flight receiver to stretch the field on offense. What they do have is a punishing running game and a mean pass rush. Arizona doesn’t have an answer for either. I’ll take my Giants to win by a touchdown or more.
Falcons (-5) at Seahawks
Dave: Falcons - Rather than explain why the Falcons won't win by double digits against Seattle today, I want someone(Seahawks fan or otherwise) to give me one good reason why the Seahawks shouldn't be contracted and then replaced with an L.A. franchise(And don't give me the "We already lost the Sonics" excuse. The only thing more tragic than the Sonics moving to Oklahoma City is the play of these Seahawks.) Falcons by 21.
Gabe: Atlanta – I’m still holding out hope that Atlanta gets it together and turns their season around. If there is ever a week to do that, it’s when playing the Seahawks. The stadium in Seattle is one of the toughest places to play on the road, but Atlanta can step up. They need to step up, and I think they will. Falcons by 9.
Patriots (-6) at Raiders
Dave: Patriots - Maybe, just maybe, this Pats team isn't as good as even I made them out to be in the preseason(and I had them in the Super Bowl). This isn't overreacting over the loss to the Bills because any team can have a bad week but take a long look at this New England squad. They have no pass rush. They can't stop the run. They can't run the ball. The passing game has become almost exclusively reliant on Wes Welker and their two young tight ends(That Ochocinco sleeper pick is coming back to haunt me, I see). Right now, they are the third best team in their own division. So why do I have them beating the Raiders? Because the Pats are at their best when backed into a corner, and that's where they are at this moment. The Raiders are better than expected but I have a hunch that they get too overconfident from their win against the Jets last week and fall victim to stupid mistakes. Patriots by 7.
Gabe: Oakland – For years the way to beat the Patriots has been to punch them in the mouth. They can’t handle physical teams. Now they have to travel across the country to face of the most physical teams in the league. I think Oakland comes out swinging, Darren McFadden gets nice, and the Raiders get the outright win in my…wait for it…UPSET SPECIAL!!!
Dolphins (+7) at Chargers
Dave: Chargers - How is this only seven? The Chargers didn't molly whop the Chiefs like I thought they would but divisional games are always more tightly contested than out-of-division games. The Dolphins' lone bright spot on offense, rookie RB Dan Thomas, is out for this game. The Chargers may not be able to run the ball but they can still sling it and Miami has no chance of keeping up. This spread should be at least 10, but maybe Vegas knows something I don't and using that to underestimate San Diego. Chargers by 10.
Gabe: San Diego – Let’s see…The Chargers are really good, Miami has to travel a long way, and Miami sucks. Chargers win huge.
Jets (+4.5) at Ravens
Dave: Jets - Let's not get too carried away about last week. Torrey Smith isn't going to run wild on Revis and Cromartie like he did on St. Louis and the Jets aren't as disappointing as their loss to Oakland last week indicates. I still think they lose to Baltimore here though. A game like this between two defense-led teams is going to come down to the wire and it won't be very high scoring(much like last year's snoozefest between these two). The winner of this one is going to eek out by a field goal, so I'll take the points with Gang Green. Ravens by 3.
Gabe: Baltimore – The Jets have an identity crisis on offense. That’s not a good thing to take into Baltimore. I see this game perhaps being close early, but New York will get overwhelmed late. They start making mistakes in the second half and Baltimore wins by 10.
Colts (+10) at Bucs
Dave: Bucs - I remember when Monday Night Football was hard to watch simply because Jon Gruden was on it. Now, we get saddled with another crap matchup. Thanks, NFL! Thanks, ESPN! Curtis Painter makes his debut for Indianapolis in prime time. I'm putting the over/under on Andrew Luck mentions during Colts' offensive drives at 10. On the bright side, we get to see J-Fresh, Josh Freeman, in primetime. I expected more of an offensive show so far from my new favorite non-Packer and maybe we get one against a Colts team looking to be put out to pasture. Or maybe Indy's pass-rush dynamos Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis try to carry the team on their back, force some bad passes from Freeman and make this a game. An unwatchable game, but a game nonetheless. Either way, I won't be watching(Yes, Gabe, I will be watching wrestling. Go ahead with the jokes.) Bucs by 13.
Gabe: Indianapolis – Tampa Bay is young and on the rise and Indy is awful, but last week the Colts showed some pride. I think they do that again this week….but still lose. Ten points is a few too many. Tampa Bay by a touchdown. Oh yeah, and Dave likes wrestling....haha, what a loser.
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