Milk Carton All-Star of the Week.....7/31/2009

With the recent "shocking" news that former Boston Red Sox slugger Manny Ramirez and current BoSox DH David Ortiz used performance-enhancing drugs back in 2003, folks in and around Beantown have taken quite the beating from fans doubting the legitimacy of Boston's epic breaking of the curse in 2004. Fear not, Boston-ites. We here at Boom Roasted Sports have unearthed a man from that memorable World Series championship team that will silence all these haters calling your legacy into question:

The man on the left is sweet-swinging second baseman Pokey Reese(The clay-mation horse on the right, however, is Pokey from the legendary Gumby cartoons). Reese came up at age 24 as a member of the Cincinatti Reds. His slick glove-work earned him two Golden Gloves in 1999 and 2000. He finished in the top 10 in stolen bases for three straight years(1999-2001). His prowess at the plate, however, was second to none. Offensively, Pokey was more like Prickle. He's a lifetime .248 hitter, notching 44 homers and 271 RBIs in his eight-year career. His lack of patience at the dish saw him whiff 531 times in a little over 3,000 plate appearances. In 2001, Reese was shipped to Colorado. 24 hours later, he was sent to Boston for legendary first baseman Scott Hatteberg. The Red Sox didn't tender Reese a contract that year, however, and Pokey ended up becoming a free agent and signing a two-year deal with the Pittsburgh Pirates. In 2004, Reese returned to Boston, where his defensive abilities helped make him a part of the first Red Sox championship team in 86 years!

So let's give it up for the man who should have spent more time stealing Manny's prescriptions than stealing bases, the poor man's Desi Relaford.........Pokey Reese, ladies and gents!!!!

Give it up for Pokey the Horse, too. Gumby was money back in the day.

Cut His Mic Off, no. 2

We had some great nominees for this edition of the Cut His Mic Off award.

I was considering Eisai Inc. and PriCara®, Division of Ortho-McNeil-Janssen Pharmaceuticals, Inc., better known as the makers of acid reflux medication AcipHex. That's AcipHex, pronounced "ass effects."

Dave nominated Red Sox pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka for his complaining about Boston's training regimen and the effect it has had on his shoulder. I actually kind of agree with Dice-K, so I'm not cutting his mic off this week. If Seattle brought Ichiro's people over from Japan then Boston could have done the same thing.

But this week's winner is..........






......a man who needs no introduction, famed swimming coach Bob Bowman.

Better known as Michael Phelps' swimming coach.

Who was completely unknown outside the swimming world until this week when he opened his yap and started complaining about swimsuits.

His problem is that other swimmers are breaking world record's while wearing the Arena X-Glide and Jaked 01 swimsuits, considered superior to Phelps' Speedo LZR.

He told the press that he will advise Phelps to not compete until the proposed ban on these next generation suits is enforced. He also said that FINA, swimming's governing body, better "do something or they're going to lose their guy who fills these seats." Mind you, the other swimmers are not sneaking these suits into the meets nor buying them on the black market. These suits are commercially available to anyone. Phelps just can't use one because he has a sponsorship deal with Speedo.

For the last four years, while Phelps was busy not losing any international race he entered while wearing the Speedo LZR aka then revolutionary swimsuit, Bowman was mute.

But, Phelps loses one race to an unremarkable German and Bowman goes around the corner. His comments are made all the more ridiculous by the fact that Phelps won a race today.

And we wonder why the rest of the world hates us. Entitled American antics like this don't help.

Ed O'Bannon is back and better than ever......

Ed O'Bannon, is suing the NCAA over its use of athletes' images and names for video games, jerseys, DVD's, etc. You can read the Associated Press story on ESPN. He is so far the only plaintiff in what he and his attorneys hope to make a class action suit.

(For those who don't remember, Ed and his brother Charles lead UCLA to an NCAA basketball title in 1995, and promptly became irrelevant.)

I say it is about time.

I'm surprised it has taken this long for this issue to finally be raised.

I think student-athletes should be compensated for the use of their names and images. Some people say that this is paying student-athletes to play. I say it is not. It is paying them for using their likeness. Those same people might say that student-athletes are already given enough to play, especially athletes in big time sports like football or basketball. I will agree, student-athletes are given a lot. For example, the University of Virginia, the school in my hometown, estimates the total cost for an out-of-state student in the 2009-2010 academic year to be just over $40,000 (facts taken from UVA website.) Over four years that adds up to over $160,000. Some of these athletes are also given a small stipend for personal expenses. Most big time sports at D-I schools are now year-round because of camps, training, film studying, etc, so the students either can't work or aren't allowed to work. Because of this many student-athletes can't afford to buy a jersey that bears their name. But, that is the deal that has been established. The student performs on the field, the school gives them an education.

Unfortunately schools in the NCAA make athletes sign away the right to use their name and image. That should not be part of the deal.

Another thing I think athletes should be able to do is appear in local ads or as spokespeople, and get paid for it. If Happy Harold's House of Hammocks in Gainesville wants to use Tim Tebow in a print ad, why should I care? If Tebow makes a little scratch and Harold sells a few more hammocks, everyone wins.

These are both part of the larger issue of the NCAA being hung-up on making sure their athletes stay amateur. I'm fine with that. I'm not arguing for student-athletes to get paid to play their sport. I'm arguing that they get paid for the use of the image or name. Athletics seems to be the only area where this is an issue. As an example, my wife has a degree in art. While in college she sold original pieces and was paid for photography work and no one said a thing. If she had been in school on a full art scholarship no one would have said at thing. She would have been encouraged. If a student studying business on a full academic scholarship starts her own website or other business venture, and succeeds, and makes money, no one cares. In fact, people would be even more impressed because they were "only college students."

The next issue then is how much do the students-athletes get? How do you divide it up? How much do you give a superstar, who will appear in other media more often, and how much does the third string DB get?

That last question is easy to answer. You can either device a royalty system, (Hollywood figured that decades ago, it's called scale.) Or you can give everyone the same amount, just like with scholarships.

The issue of how much the student-athletes should get paid is one that needs to be decided by the NCAA, the schools, the Collegiate Licensing Company, and their for-profit business partners. But they need to come up with a number. They are all making huge amounts of money on the backs of these students. It's about time the students got their piece.

St. Andrews

I've always felt that sideline reporters were to sports what spinning rims were to expensive cars. In other words, pretty objects strategically placed to draw the attention of a certain kind of demographic. Which is why I can understand the outrage over the Erin Andrews Peephole Video scandal(at least from Andrews' side. From ESPN? Not so much), but not the shock.

Forgive me if I sound a bit pig-headed here, but ESPN didn't exactly hire Andrews for her journalistic ability. Anybody with some television credits can ask Nick Saban what he plans to do in the second half of a tied ball game. The harsh truth is that ESPN's sole purpose for bringing in women like Andrews or Rachel Nichols is the hope that their world-class good looks will draw in viewers that wouldn't normally be interested in the game at hand, but now feel compelled to watch because there's a hot chick on the screen. Think about it. 10 years ago, the only women you would find on the Worldwide Leader were Linda Cohen and Robin Roberts. Solid reporters, but not exactly easy on the eyes. Now, ESPN and its many sub-stations look like Barbie's Playhouse, with sidelines and other venues being patrolled by girls who like extras from a Baywatch episode. So it shouldn't come as a shock that some perv decided to use his 15 minutes to broadcast Andrews' goods. When you cast someone out as eye candy to a sexually-obsessed, technologically advanced fan base, these are the type of incidents you can expect.

Now, again, I think Andrews is justified in her outrage. Her privacy was violated and if the culprit was a co-worker, as has been rumored, then she has every reason to be upset. That being said, what's done is done. The video has been leaked and no matter how strong of a legal force Andrews has backing her, they can't conquer the Internet and its litany of career perverts. As for Andrews' "wholesome" image? Please. The only image in the minds of those who tune in to see Andrews are the ones similar to the stills pasted in the New York Post.

The question that I would be asking if I was Andrews is "What now?". If the rumors are true and Andrews was exploited by her employer, doesn't that make going back to work a bit awkward. Keep in mind, this video had been online since February and, had ESPN's suits not made a stink about it, chances are nobody would have really known it was Andrews in the video. It makes you wonder if ESPN's ban of the Post as an act of defending Andrews was really just an act of covering one's guilt. After all, where was ESPN in shutting down the YouTube video of USC linebacker Rey Maualuga mock-dryhumping Andrews at the Rose Bowl this past January? Granted, it was a bit more tame than a 10 minute video of Andrews doing butt-naked jumping jacks while listening to Black Eyed Peas, but still embarrassing nonetheless, don't you think? Is the instant protection from ESPN their way of saying "Our bad, Erin"?

Another thing that wandered inside my brain was the reaction of Andrews' female cohorts over the release of this video. I wonder why nobody's asking Suzy Kolber for a response or why there's no round table discussion with Melissa Stark and Colleen Dominguez? It makes you wonder how Andrews is perceived by her peers. Is she seen by her colleagues as a trend-setter whose instant rise will inevitably open the doors for other young females to make it to higher heights in the field of broadcasting or is she seen by them the way she is seen by many heterosexual females which is as just another fair-haired Malibu Barbie who used her swimsuit model physique and soft eyes to leap-frog less attractive women who might have paid their dues? Do Andrews' co-workers look at her the way the employees at Digicom looked at Demi Moore's character in Disclosure, with jealousy and disdain? You would think that a scandal like this, while something that ESPN is clearly trying to put the bed quickly, would open up conversation about the exploitation of female broadcasters in the sports world. With the way ESPN and other media outlets like to over-analyze and over-cover stories like this, wouldn't this be a great opportunity to host a Bob Costas-esque Town Hall discussion amongst ESPN's cavalcade of sideline sirens(both the veterans like Kolber and Stark and Cohen and the new breed like Andrews and Nichols and Dominguez) and have them speak publicly about how the feel about their perception and the rigors of gaining respect in a male-dominated profession? Doesn't an incident like this offer up the perfect soap box for women who have been used to be seen and not heard?

Look, I like Erin Andrews. I respect what she is trying to do even if it's to be nothing more than a modern-day April O'Neil. Personally, I find the idea of sideline reporters to be a bit pointless. No coach worth his weight in gold is going to reveal strategies to a reporter on national television and I really don't know what kind of new information sports fans are seeking to obvious questions like "Coach, how you plan on guarding Dwight Howard?". That being said, I'd rather get my useless information from someone like Andrews, who seems to have a genuine interest for the game, than a fat slob like Tony Siragusa, who studies from the book of cliche one-liners. Naturally, like many sexually-obsessed males in their mid-20s, I'd love to see the momentum of this video lead to a Playboy spread. Kim Kardashian did it after the Ray J sex tape was broadcasted. Vida Guerra did it after her naked cell phone pictures were revealed online. Even fellow sideline vixen Lisa Guerrero succumbed to the pressure of taking it all off for money. Certainly, you can't blame Andrews for having more self-respect and dignity than the aforementioned three, but if or when it does happen, it will be something the whole world saw coming........

..........even if they were looking through a peep-hole.

---Dave

Milk Carton All-Stars of the Week.....7/22/2009

I felt so good about my initial pick for the Milk Carton All-Star of the Week, that I decided to double up and bring together two long-lost brothers. Boom Roasted Sports....where uniting families happens. Here goes:







Meet the Almontes.

The young boy on the left is former Bronx pitching phenom Danny Almonte. Back in 2001, Danny spun the sports world into a frenzy by leading his Bronx Little League team to third place in the Little League World Series. With his dominating 70 mph fastball(which would translate to a 92 mph in the pros) and his tall, lanky frame, Danny had scouts more excited than Kate Gosselin in a sweat shop. He became the first pitcher since 1957 to throw a perfect game in the Little League World Series and finished the tourney with 62 strikeouts(out of 72 batters faced). Of course, that's easy to do when you're two years older than the legal limit. The scandal inevitably killed all the momentum built up by the Baby Bombers and after 9/11 a few months after, citizens in New York had bigger concerns than a 14 year old's illegal dominance in a Little League tournament. All of Danny's buzz had evaporated and his name wouldn't pop back into the realm of relevance until 2006 when it was reported that he was married to a 30-year old woman. Current reports have Danny playing for the Mat-Su Miners of the Alaska Baseball League, where he has appeared in all of one game.


The man opposite Danny is former Yankees phenom Erick Almonte. Erick was signed by the New York Yankees in 1996 as an undrafted ametuer and spent four years in the minors before making his debut in September of 2001(Oddly enough, a month after Danny Almonte's age scandal). He wouldn't become buzzworthy though until 2003 when he filled in for an injured Derek Jeter at shortstop. It would be the last time he would play in the majors. In 2004, Erick ended up in Colorado. Later that year, he signed a minor league deal with the Cleveland Indians where he was sold to the Japan Premier League. After a stint in the Atlanta League, Erick resurfaced in the majors with the Detroit Tigers. He then bounced to Chicago to play for the Cubs and inevitably ended up signing a minor league deal this year with the Milwaukee Brewers. He finished his career with an eye-popping .269 batting average to go along with his mind-boggling one home run and 11 RBIs. Despite these astounding power numbers, Erick surprisingly was not mentioned in The Mitchell Report.


So let's give it up for two guys whose failure to stay relevant forced The Bronx to adopt Jennifer Lopez as its native son.....Telemundo's Brady Bunch, The Almontes!!!

NFL Over-Under 2009

Vegas posted its projections for each NFL team's regular season win total. With pre-season a couple weeks away, we took it upon ourselves to place our bets on what teams will go over or under Vegas' predictions. Here goes:

AFC East

New England Patriots(Vegas projected win total: 12)

Dave: Under. Until we see whether Tom Brady is 100% following knee surgery, I remain a bit skeptical. Are they still the class of the division? Sure. They're also aging on defense on top of the fact that they'll have mostly new starters in the secondary and they lost one of their better pass rushers in LB Mike Vrabel. Plus, the offensive line still struggles with speed rushers and the schedule is a bit tougher than it was last year. So I say 10 is likely, with 11 within reach if Brady recovers well.

Gabe: Over. This is one of the two sucker bets on this list. The Patriots are back. They will be back to their 2007 form. I don't think they are going to undefeated, but I can see them winning 14 games. I see them having trouble in Indy in November and I could see them losing in week 17 to Houston. By then the Pats will have nothing to play for and Houston should be fighting for the playoffs. I think New England will finish with the best record in the league.

Miami Dolphins: (Vegas projected win total: 8)

Dave: Over. A team that was already good on D last year brought back S Yermiah Bell and DE/LB Jason Taylor and added S Gibril Wilson along with rookies Vontae Davis and Sean Smith. They have a vastly underrated offensive line to go along with the solid 1-2 punch of Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams. Their receivers won't scare you, but then again, QB Chad Pennington can't stretch the field anyway. Put me down for 9 wins.

Gabe: Under. I know they were good last year, but their schedule this year is brutal. On top of their own division they have to play the NFC South this year and the AFC South, getting the Jags and Titans on the road. I think 8-8 is going to be a tall order this year.

Buffalo Bills: (Vegas projected win total: 7.5)

Dave: Under. They'll be without RB Marshawn Lynch for the first three games, they just exiled one of the best left tackles in the league in Jason Peters and I wouldn't put it past T.O. to start throwing Trent Edwards under the bus by Week 4. Edwards' arm just isn't strong enough to make the deep throws when the winds start swirling in late November and December and Owens isn't going to be content with the team going to a more run-oriented game plan. I like them for 6 wins, and that's a stretch.

Gabe: Under. The Bills have a tough schedule (just like the rest of the AFC East) that is made tougher by having to south or to climate controlled stadiums late in the year. Cold weather teams always get gassed when they have to play in warm weather late in the year. I don't think T.O. is going to help that much. Like Dave said, Trent Edwards will not make him happy. I've got Buffalo only winning 5 games.

New York Jets: (Vegas projected win total: 8)

Dave: Under. They'll start the season with either rookie Mark Sanchez or unproven Kellen Clemens at QB and, unless they can swing a deal for a Plaxico Burress or Anquan Boldin, the receiving corps leave a lot to be desired. There's also the unsolved contract issues of RBs Thomas Jones and Leon Washington, which could be a distraction. They do have a top-notch defense and a great defensive mind in Rex Ryan, but unless the offense can overcome its growing pains, Gang Green is probably better suited for next year. Give me 7 wins.

Gabe: Under. Here's the deal. The Jets are toast. Their QB situation is so bad that teams will be able to pin their ears back and tee off on whoever is under center. In the first three weeks they play at Houston and then are home to the Patriots and Titans. That spells 0-3 and a precedent for the rest of the year. I'll give the Jets 5 wins.

AFC North

Pittsburgh Steelers: (Vegas projected win total: 11)

Dave: Over. The defending champs won 12 games last year despite the league's toughest schedule and a banged-up backfield. This year, the schedule's a bit lighter and, as of right now, they'll start with the thunder and lightning combination of Rashard Mendenhall and Willie Parker toting the rock. If those two can stay healthy, with that rock-solid defense, matching last year's win total will be a lot easier this time around.

Gabe. Over. The Steelers have not changed much since last year. Like Dave said, last year they were banged up and had the toughest schedule in the NFL. This year, their schedule is such that I think they could start the season 10-0, not slipping up until they play at Baltimore. Put me down for the Steelers winning 13 games.

Baltimore Ravens: (Vegas projected win total: 8.5)

Dave: Over. They'll miss the steady consistency of recently-retired WR Derrick Mason and they'll miss the aggressive spark that was supplied by departed LB Bart Scott, but this is still a nasty defense with a three-pronged running attack of Willis McGahee, Ray Rice and Le'Ron McClain. Plus, QB Joe Flacco now has a year of seasoning under his belt. I like them for 10 wins, but put me down for more if they acquire Cards wideout Anquan Boldin by Opening Day.

Gabe: Over. What is the formula for winning in the NFL? Run the ball, stop the run. What do the Ravens have? Crazy good defense, three-headed monster at RB. They'll have a rough road until their bye week, then they will go on a tear. Like Dave, I have them at 10 wins.

Cincinatti Bengals: (Vegas projected win total: 5.5)

Dave: Over. Lost in all the drama of Carson Palmer's nagging elbow, Chad Ochocinco's name change and the never ending string of jailed Bengals was the fact that the team actually showed signs of life on defense for the first time under the Marvin Lewis regime. Palmer is expected to be back healthy and Ochocinco seems determined to rebound from last year's dreadful campaign. The running game is still headed by pepper-spray champion Cedric Benson, but an improved line and a healthy Carson should be good for at least 6 wins.

Gabe. Over. Barely. Palmer and Chad Ochocinco should get back in rhythm. Their defense is getting better, but it doesn't take much to be better than they have been. They still have no running game. Again, I agree with Dave, 6 wins.

Cleveland Browns: (Vegas projected win total: 6.5)

Dave: WAY Under. While there won't be much transition defensively from the old Romeo Crennel regime to the new Eric Mangini Era, that doesn't mean last year's woeful D will be much better. The team ignored its needs on D in the draft, opting to move down an select a center in Alex Mack. It also passed up the chance to move its two biggest trade chips, QB Brady Quinn and WR Braylon Edwards, in hopes that they'll turn it around this year. The QB battle between Quinn and Derek Anderson will come down to the lesser of two evils, Edwards has to prove he's chipped away at his stone hands and RB Jamal Lewis will have to show a pulse. That's asking far too much in one year. Call them lucky if they get 4 wins.

Gabe: Under. Way Under. Jamal Lewis is their no. 1 RB. That's great in 2003 when he ran for 500 yards in two games against these same Browns. Now they might as well have me in their backfield. Oh, and they suck at QB and on defense. If they don't rise up and beat Cincy at home (their only shot at an early season win) I think they'll go all the way to November 22nd before they win a game. I'll give them 3 wins.

AFC South

Indianapolis Colts: (Vegas projected win total: 10.5)

Dave: Under. It seems every year I doubt the Colts and every year they prove me wrong, but I believe last year's slow start was a sign of things to come. In the offseason, they lost iconic wide receiver Marvin Harrison and even more iconic coach Tony Dungy as well as most of Dungy's staff. They replaced Dungy with longtime assistant Jim Caldwell but while the team has made an effort to get younger, they haven't made an effort to get better. The Colts sit in the league's toughest division and unless someone emerges from a group of unprovens, it will be asking a lot of Peyton Manning to muster up more than 9 wins.

Gabe: Over. And so it starts. The AFC South is loaded this year. Outside of the division they all have a cake schedule. I think Indy losing Marvin Harrison is going to be addition by subtraction. Their other WR's will shine. They will not miss a beat transitioning from Tony Dungy to Tony Dungy-lite, I mean Jim Caldwell. I'll go just barely over at 11 wins.

Tennessee Titans: (Vegas projected win total: 8.5)

Dave: WAY Over. Sure, this team will miss premier defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth, but not to the tune of 5 less wins than last year's 13 win campaign. The Titans replaced Haynesworth amicably down the stretch last year and they still possess the lethal ground tandem of speedy Chris Johnson and bruising LenDale White. They also were aggressive in improving the air attack by bringing in the vastly underrated Nate Washington from the Steelers and immature-yet-freakishly gifted rookie Kenny Britt of Rutgers. It might be a bit much to think QB Kerry Collins can continue his magic to the tune of another 13 win season, but, to me, this is the best team in the AFC and 12 wins is very doable.

Gabe: Over. Unlike Dave, I don't think they are the best in the AFC, but I think they are the class of this division. Chris Johnson and LenDale White are a real "Thunder/Lightning"combo. Kerry Collins has got at least one more good year in him. Their defense is still stout. I have them winning 12 games.

Houston Texans: (Vegas projected win total: 8)

Dave: Push. This team is set up quite nicely on both sides of the ball. On defense, they have former top pick Mario Williams to go along with fellow draft picks DT Amobi Okoye, CB Dunta Robinson, LB DeMeco Ryans and rookie LB Brian Cushing. On offense, the Matt Schaub-to-Andre Johnson combination could be the league's best by season's end if Schaub can stay healthy. They also have steady wideout Kevin Walter and jitterbug RB Steve Slaton. The division is still a bit too stacked to expect more than a .500 season, but if any of the big boys above stumble out of the gate, the Texans might not be so easy to walk over as in past years.

Gabe: Over. This might be a bit of a pick from the heart. I've always liked the Texans and they have always seem to be a year away from putting it together. Well, this year is year I think they gel. Their defense is better than good. Steve Slaton gives them a legit running game. I think Andre Johnson is somehow the best WR and the most underrated WR in the NFL. They will take advantage of the weak out of division schedule and maybe even steal a game from Indy or Tennessee at home. I also have them beating the Pats in week 17. Give me, dare I say it, 10 wins for the Texans.

Jacksonville Jaguars: (Vegas projected win total: 8)

Dave: Under. Someone has to finish last in this division and I'm not sold the Jags did enough this offseason to make me believe they're back as contenders. Sure, they improved the offensive line vastly with free agent Tra Thomas and rookies Eugene Monroe and Eban Britton. And, yes, they did bring in Pro Bowl WR Torry Holt. However, there were signs last year that the team has given up on coach Jack Del Rio and in a division this deep, it might be too late for Jack D to inspire his team to put forth the kind of effort needed to compete in the South. 7-9 is possible, but 6-10 is more likely.

Gabe: Push. Like Dave says, someone has to finish last in this division. I think that, just like every other team in the AFC South, the Jags will take advantage of the weak schedule they face out of division. I think the best they can hope for is a split with their in division rivals. I'll go 8 games.

AFC West

San Diego Chargers: (Vegas projected win total: 10.5)

Dave: Over. You have to think the troika of Rivers-Gates-Tomlinson is due for one big year to compete for a ring before management realizes it needs to start over. LT is obviously not the back he used to be but Darren Sproles proved in the postseason he's good enough to give LT more of a breather in years past. Coach Norv Turner's willingness to defer at least 30 or 40 percent of the touches to Sproles to keep LT fresh will go a long way when it matters. On defense, there's the return of pass-rushing dynamo Shawne Merriman and the arrival of rookie Larry English to terrorize opposing offenses which will allow former Pro Bowler Antonio Cromartie to rebound from an off year last year. With the dearth of talent in the West and the continued health of LT, Rivers, Gates and Merriman, this team can be right with Pittsburgh and Tennessee atop the AFC and could be serious contenders for the Super Bowl.

Gabe: Under. I don't buy into the Chargers at all, ever. They are paper tigers. They have all-world talent on both sides of the ball, but they always underachieve. LT is getting older. His reliable back-up is now the man in Atlanta. Philip Rivers is a hot head and doesn't handle pressure very well. I'll give the Chargers 8 wins, and I think I'm being generous.

Denver Broncos: (Vegas projected win total: 7.5)

Dave: Under. Coach Josh McDaniels didn't waste time making an impact in the House That Elway Built, shipping out Pro Bowl QB Jay Cutler and infuriating top WR Brandon Marshall. On top of that, McDaniels looked away from improving the team's swiss-cheese defense in the draft and used its first pick on RB Knowshon Moreno. The cavalcade of backs combined with the temperature of the mercurial Marshall might make things a bit messy in the Mile High as they adjust to McDaniels' complex offense which is being orchestrated by ho-hum QB Kyle Orton. The team is still good enough to finish behind San Diego for 2nd place, but anything more than 7 wins would take a Rocky Mountain sized portion of soul-searching.

Gabe: Over. Here's the deal. Denver is average, but the rest of their division is garbage. Josh McDaniel has made a lot of noise this off season, and not the good kind. But, he knows how to run an offense and Denver has the tools to be great on that side of the ball. They will beat up on the rest of the AFC West, steal a few games otherwise, and win the division with 9 wins.

Kansas City Chiefs: (Vegas projected win total: 5.5)

Dave: Under. On the bright side for Kansas City, the Chiefs have the makings to be a very exciting team. Unfortunately, there are entirely too many question marks for that to occur in the near future. For one, there's the question of who's going to run the ball with Larry Johnson on his way out and young backs Kolby Smith and Jamaal Charles ill-equipped to be the top dog. There's also the question of whether QB Matt Cassell can make the transition from a Patriots offense equipped with Randy Moss and Wes Welker to a Chiefs team led by good-but-not-great WR Dwayne Bowe. On defense, they're still transitioning from the 4-3 to the 3-4 and while they have some pieces, it's not enough to form anything resembling a good defense. If Cassell can prove to not be a fluke under the offensive genius of new coach Todd Haley, the Chiefs could give fans something to look forward to. Until then, be happy with 4 wins.

Gabe: Under. They acquired Matt Cassell and got rid of Herm Edwards this off season. Two steps up in my book. Really though, that's all they have done to improve. Like Dave says, Dwayne Bowe is not Randy Moss, and Larry Johnson is getting old. KC stinks and will only win 3 games.

Oakland Raiders: (Vegas projected win total: 5.5)

Dave: Under. Perhaps the trio of QB JaMarcus Russell, RB Darren McFadden and WR Darrius Heyward-Bey use this season to lay the groundwork for a bright future ahead. Perhaps they take all the negativity that has surrounded this franchise since its Super Bowl loss 7 years ago as motivation to shut up the critics. Or perhaps this team is every bit as bad as we've been saying it is all year. If Coach Tom Cable can get the freakish talents of Russell, Run-DMC and DHB and harness them into a poor man's Triplets, maybe this team will have finally built the foundation we've been expecting after all those high draft picks. More likely than that, however, is the Raiders' position in the Top 5 of next year's draft, which will only lead to another head-scratching-yet-amusing Al Davis draft pick.

Gabe: Under. Darren McFadden is good, really good. That's it. That's the list. He has nothing around him and their owner is still a crazy person. I have them beating KC twice and stealing a couple of games at home. I expect 4 wins.

NFC East

New York Giants: (Vegas projected win total: 10.5)

Dave: Under. Gabe will be the first to tell you about all of Big Blue's positives going into this season. How they revamped an already great defense with the signings of Rocky Bernard and Chris Canty and the return of Osi Umenyoira. He'll wax poetically about how Plaxico Burress' departure will help team chemistry and allow Eli Manning to spread the pill around. All of which might be true. Here's why I doubt the Giants this year. For one, unless rookie Hakeem Nicks is the 2nd coming of Randy Moss, this team doesn't have a single wideout who evokes fear in opposing secondaries. Even bigger of an issue than that is the departure of 1,000 yard rusher Derrick Ward. Sure, Ward's absence means more carries for enormous wrecking ball Brandon Jacobs, but Jacobs is a wee bit frail and the extra contact might do more harm than good. The Giants also play in a division that, outside of Dallas, has improved mightily since last season. Do I think the Giants can be a playoff team? Sure, but it's not the same certainty I had at this point last year. 9 wins is a gimme, with double digits within reach if a deep threat emerges.

Gabe: Over. On the surface this looks like a homer pick. But Dave knows better than anyone that I am the world's most pessimistic Giants fan. That being said, I think the Giants are going to have the best pass rush in the NFL, and that goes a long way to winning games. They won a Super Bowl harassing Tom Brady in a way he wasn't used to. Their secondary should be good (it better be after all of the 1st and 2nd round draft picks spent on DB's). Eli has no deep threat right now, and hopefully one will emerge. They will have a bruising running game and a teriffic defense. It won't be pretty, but I have them at 11 wins.

Philadelphia Eagles: (Vegas projected win total: 9)

Dave: Over. The Eagles have a long history under Andy Reid of choking when the spotlight beams bright on them. After their inspiring 2nd half last year and an offseason that saw them bring in top left tackle Jason Peters to pair with underrated Stacy Andrews on the opposite side as well as the drafting of fast wideout Jeremy Maclin and versatile RB LeSean McCoy, expectations run high in The City of Brotherly Love......which is why I like the Eagles to win the division, but not much else. The city of Philly's on-again, off-again love affair with QB Donovan McNabb will be something to see this season as McNabb will have to maintain the same fire he played with last year after being benched midseason. That's a lot of pressure on a guy who isn't exactly what you would call durable. Another factor will be the absence of DC Jim Johnson, who is recovering from cancer. With its speed on offense and its depth on defense, the Eagles will be the team to beat in the NFC, but as always, the biggest opponent standing in Philadelphia's way is themselves.

Gabe: Over. If there were a camera on me while I write this you would have seen me take a break right now. That's how much it pained me to write "over" for the Eagles, easily my least favorite team (and fans) in the NFL. But they are still very good. Player personnel-wise they are as good or better than they have been in recent years. They are minus both of their coordinators from last year. (Dave told you about DC Johnson, OC Shurmur is now in St. Louis.) More importantly, their window is closing. Donovan McNabb is getting older. They should have a sense of urgency this year. God help me, but I have the Eagles winning the NFC East with 12 wins.

Washington Redskins: (Vegas projected win total: 8)

Dave: Over. Year after year, prognosticators fall in love with the Redskins after their busy offseason and end up getting crushed. This might be the year I fall into that trap as well. I loved the signing of Albert Haynesworth, even though it follows the same bad trend of overspending on overrated free agents that owner Dan Snyder has been doing for years. I liked them bringing back DeAngelo Hall, despite the fact that he's never proven to do much but disappoint. I liked the drafting of athletic freak Brian Orakpo, even though many experts have compared him to combine warrior Vernon Gholston. What I like the most, however, is QB Jason Campbell and his motivation to perform well in his contract year after nearly being replaced twice this offseason by Jay Cutler and Mark Sanchez. The drive of Campbell along with the continued development of young WRs Malcom Kelly and Devin Thomas might have the Redskins looking like a dark horse come playoff time. Then again, I wouldn't be the first to be wrong on that front with this team.

Gabe: Under. This year the Redskins won the offseason Super Bowl once again, landing Albert Haynesworth. I expect him to balloon to Gilbert Brown size, but without the run stopping talent, very soon. Jason Campbell is going to be playing with a chip on his shoulder for all of reasons Dave mentioned, but his receivers stink. Clinton Portis is getting old and there is no one behind him who can carry the load. 7 wins.

Dallas Cowboys: (Vegas projected win total: 9.5)

Dave: Under. Where do I start? Well, for one, I'm not sold on Tony Romo as an elite QB and even more so now after Dallas replaced wideout/loud mouth Terrell Owens with underachieving hometown hero Roy Williams as the team's # 1 wide reciever. On top of that, an aging offensive line is now a year older. On defense, the team thinned itself even further in the secondary with losses of S Roy Williams and CBs Anthony Henry and Pacman Jones. The front 7 took a hit when the team waved bye-bye to LBs Zach Thomas and Greg Ellis as well as defensive linemen Chris Canty and Tank Johnson. This team couldn't make the playoffs with the afforementioned departures last year and it's hard to think this team can even be a .500 ballclub now that they're gone.

Gabe: Under. Well under. Tony Romo can't keep himself out of the tabloids and might be a tad distracted. Their secondary is flashy but couldn't tackle my younger brother. Roy Williams is talented, but I wonder how he will perform when he as to be "the guy" on a team with expectations. They have a few bright spots. Their front seven is very good and they have Marion Barber, who is, in my opinion, the scariest man in the NFL on the field. I have them at 6 wins.

NFC North

Green Bay Packers: (Vegas projected win total: 8.5)

Dave: Over. Please excuse me while I have a homer moment here. First of all, QB Aaron Rodgers returns a year wiser after a debut season that saw him outperform MVP Peyton Manning statistically(look it up if you don't believe me) and Rodgers will have the comfort of having 10 out of 11 of last year's starters returning this year. Secondly, the team lost 7 games last year by less than a touchdown due in large part to a banged-up defense and Rodgers' inexperience in winning games late. This year, the defense is revamped, moving to a new 3-4 scheme led by defensive whiz Dom Capers and the Packers got aggressive(sort of) in drafting nose tackle B.J. Raji and LB Clay Matthews. The transition will take some time to adjust(particularly for Aaron Kampman, who's moving to linebacker from defensive end), but a easy schedule and a soft division could have the Packers returning back to their spot amongst the NFC's contenders.

Gabe: Over. Dave covered it. They have vastly improved their defense. Aaron Rogers is legit. They play in a half weak division and also have the benefit of beating up on the NFC West this year. They have a home field adavantage unlike any in the NFL, and this year their schedule is front loaded at home, which will put them on a roll. I have the Packers winning 11 games.

Minnesota Vikings: (Vegas projected win total: 8.5)

Dave: Under(if or when they sign Brett Favre). Over(if somehow they don't). Stop me if you heard this one from me before, but the Vikings are a better team without Favre than with him. Having a game manager behind center like Sage Rosenfels as opposed to a turnover machine like Favre would allow the Vikings to stick to what they do best, which is a heavy dose of a running attack led by The Purple People Eater(or Purple Jesus or All Day, whatever you like) Adrian Peterson to help set up a sneaky passing game with crazy quick wideouts Bernard Berrian and Percy Harvin. The Vikings defense alone is good for 8 wins, unless Favre's never ending saga of throwing into double coverage forces them onto the field more often than need be. So if they stick with Sage, put me down for 12 wins and a NFC crown, but if they go the likely route and start Favre, they should be considered fortunate to break .500.

Gabe: Over (with or without Brett Favre). Minnesota's defense puts up numbers that would look silly if you posted playing Madden on your Xbox. They have the most dynamic offensive player in the league carrying the ball. Their QB is almost without consequence. I have them starting the season with five wins before running into a murder's row of the Ravens at home and on the road to Pittsburgh and Green Bay. They'll recharge during their bye, come back strong and finish with 9 wins.

Chicago Bears: (Vegas projected win total: 8)

Dave: Push. The combination of conservative coach Lovie Smith and cannon-armed QB Jay Cutler is the equivalent of driving a Ferrari in a school zone. Even if Smith decides to open up the air attack, the Bears are still a bit raw at receiver with reformed cornerback Devin Hester and Cutler's former college teammate Earl Bennett. The once-stout Bears D is getting a bit long in the tooth as well and there are still questions on the offensive line, despite the addition of future Hall of Famer Orlando Pace at left tackle. On the bright side, the Bears will unleash stud RB Matt Forte, who will be Cutler's best weapon if he can avoid the sophmore slump. However, given Cutler's temperment and the inconsistency of this Bears squad over the years, it's hard to get too excited for their contending prospects just yet.

Gabe: Under. But just barely under. They brought in Jay Cutler but really don't have a legit no. 1 receiver. Their defense is getting old. I don't believe in their supposed upgrades on the O-Line. Outside of the division their schedule is very tough, (Ravens, Steelers, Falcons, Eagles). I'll give them 7 wins.

Detroit Lions: (projected win total: 5)

Dave: Under. It's a daunting task to ask a team that couldn't win a game last season to, all of a sudden, win 5 games. For one, the quarterback situation is a mess. Top overall pick Matt Stafford is sure to be given the keys at some point and the success of underclass QBs in their rookie year isn't promising. In the meantime, the Lions will have Daunte Culpepper, whose lack of mobility and tendency to take unneeded punishment makes him the NFL's version of Mumble behind center. The good news is they have the aptly named Megatron, WR Calvin Johnson, to clean up what is sure to be quite a bit of bad throws from the Culpepper/Stafford tandem. Coach Jim Schwartz has been waiting a long time to prove his mettle and he has quite the task in the league's worst franchise, but they're still a few years away before we start pegging them for a handful of wins.

Gabe: Under. So we all know they didn't win a game last year. They have a rookie quarterback, but a stud receiver. They have a coach who is trying to prove something, but a swiss cheese defense. To me that adds up to the Lions not winning a game until after their bye when the Rams come to town. I also have them beating Cleveland in November. 2 wins, that's it.

NFC South

Carolina Panthers: (Vegas projected win total: 8.5)

Dave: Over. Like the Chargers, the Panthers know the window for staying amongst the league's elite and getting closer to shutting. Franchised defensive end Julius Peppers was finally talked into one more year with his hometown team but he's playing for a big contract elsewhere. QB Jake Delhomme owes the team one after being an abomination against Arizona in the playoffs last season. The Panthers showed great versatility on offense with dynamic WR Steve Smith and the tag team of RBs DeAngelo Williams and "The Daily Show" Jonathan Stewart dominating the ground game. The defense isn't the brick wall it used back when it was led by guys like Peppers and Kris Jenkins and Dan Morgan but it still has some studs in MLB Jon Beason and are hoping to get some production out of rookie DE Everette Brown. On paper, they have the type of balance on both sides of the ball to think double digit wins will be a breeze, but the Panthers' big hopes are that their newfound sense of urgency finally pays off.

Gabe: Under. I will admit, they are very balanced on offense. They have a great running game with Williams and Stewart. They have one of the greatest recievers in the league in Steve Smith. They have a great front seven. My concerns are with their secondary and Jake Delhomme. Delhomme can implode at any moment and they play in a division with killer receivers (Roddy White, Marques Colston, Devery Henderson). I don't believe in the Panthers. Put me down for 7 wins.

Tampa Bay Bucs: (Vegas projected win total: 6.5)

Dave: Under. The Bucs spent the entire offseason erasing any remnants of memorable veterans and have went into full rebuilding mode. Their QB clusterfuck will feature a Fatal 4-way between journeymen Luke McCown and Byron Leftwich, rookie Josh Freeman and Jon Gruden holdover Josh Johnson. Neither Leftwich or McCown inspire anyone to believe this team can contend on the level it did last year and Freeman and Johnson are far too raw to do anything but get some valuable experience commandeering an offense led by notorious headcases Antonio Bryant and Kellen Winslow Jr. On defense, the Bucs would love some more production from former high draft pick Gaines Adams and are looking for some emergence from some other youngsters as well as the team hopes to be back on top of the South in a year or two. Until then, 5 wins might be the ceiling here.

Gabe: Under. I think the Bucs have a chance to be historically bad. Their defense is older than dirt. Their quarterback situation is the messiest in the NFL. Once they decide who is throwing the ball, his number one WR will be Antonio Bryant, who wouldn't scare defenses in my flag football league. Their one really bright spot is Earnest Graham, Derrick Ward, and Cadillac Williams in their backfield, but how much can they do if opposing defenses put 9 men in the box. If they don't beat the Jets in Week 14 they could go winless. I'll give them that game for a grand total of 1 win.

New Orleans Saints: (Vegas projected win total: 8.5)

Dave: Over. The Saints are the team to watch after making improvements to their woeful defense in the form of rookie defensive back Malcom Jenkins, veteran safety Darren Sharper and the re-signing of MLB Jonathan Vilma. The improved defense should bring more oppurtunities for the Saints' high octane offense led by 5,000 yard passer Drew Brees. The key for New Orleans, as always, will be former 2nd overall pick Reggie Bush, who has shown flashes of being the playmaker he was at USC but has mostly been a flameout. To help complement Bush, N.O. will look to the vastly underrated Pierre Thomas who replaces Duece McAllister as the team's power back. With an improved defense and an explosive offense, the Saints should rebound after a disappointing year and go back to being contenders in the NFC.

Gabe: Over. The Saints offense is incredible. They are flashy and put up big yards and big points. Their defense is much improved. I think they split with the Falcons, smoke the rest of the division, and win a bunch of their mostly soft out of division games. Put me down for 10 wins.

Atlanta Falcons: (Vegas projected win total: 8)

Dave: Push. The Falcons were left for dead after the exile of Mike Vick and the sudden resignation of Bobby Petrino, but re-emerged from the ashes thanks to the emergence of rookie QB Matt Ryan and the excellence of RB Michael Turner. This year, they added future Hall of Famer Tony Gonzalez as a safety valve for Ryan. However, there are some concerns. First, there's the question of how Turner performs in year two in the ATL after eclipsing the dreaded 370 carry mark last year. There's also the possibility of the sophmore slump as Ryan is no longer under the radar and will have to adjust to be even more of a marked man. The Falcons are also a bit suspect on defense and are stuck in a division with offensive juggurnauts like Carolina and New Orleans. On paper, the Falcons look like they have moved up another notch from last year's surprise performance but, much like New Orleans the year before, they will find the weight of hefty expectations might be too heavy to bare.

Gabe: Over. It is no secret that last year the Falcons came out of nowhere. I don't think their offense is going to slow down. All Michael Turner did last year was what anyone who watched him in San Diego expected him to do. Matt Ryan might be a target this year, but no more than he was at the end of last year. They will score lots of points and win a lot in and out of the division. 10 games.

NFC West

Seattle Seahawks: (Vegas projected win total: 7.5)

Dave: Over. About a month ago, I made the comment that I like the Seahawks' chances of representing the NFC in the Super Bowl this season. My mindset hasn't changed. The team improved dramaticly on defense as they now possess potentially the best linebacking core in the NFL with rookie Aaron Curry, Lofa Tatupu and Leroy Hill. They also brought back cornerback Ken Lucas to add depth to a secondary that was repeatedly burned deep and solidified the interior of the defensive line with DTs Colin Cole and Corey Redding. Last year, the offense suffered from a pleathora of injuries starting with QB Matt Hassellbeck to OT Walter Jones on down to about every reciever on the roster. This year, Hassellbeck and Jones are back and team brought in a new weapon in T.J. Houshmanzadeh. Barring a rash of injuries like last year, it's hard to not see Seattle as one of the 2 or 3 best teams in the conference next year. Lock it up.

Gabe: Over. I think this is the biggest sucker bet on the list. Most people are going to look at Seattle's record last year and immediately go under. Matt Hasselbeck is going to be back. T.J. Houshmanzadeh is going to give them a real receiving threat who can actually hang on to the ball. They play in a weak division and have a weak out of division schedule. I'll go 9 wins.

Arizona Cardinals: (Vegas projected win total: 9)

Dave: Over. The Cardinals could be a .500 team just off the fact that their division is relatively weak(outside of Seattle) and their offense is loaded. Armed with best pass-catching tandem in the league as well as the newly-formed young RB duo of Tim Hightower and Chris "Beanie" Wells, QB Kurt Warner will once again make a run at another ring after coming thisclose last season. The main concerns will be Warner's fragility and whether that will force unproven QB of the future Matt Leinart into the mix and whether Boldin's contract dispute will distract him or the team from its goals. On defense, the Cards face a similar contract situation with LB Karlos Dansby. Assuming coach Ken Whisenhunt can keep everyone in check, the Cards are every bit as good as the team that shook up the world last year. Double digit wins should be a given.

Gabe: Under. I don't believe in their defense. They will have an amazing offense, provided Kurt Warner can maintain. He is getting very old, but has a plethora of weapons around him, including easily the best receiving tandem in the league. But how many 35-31 games are they going to be able to win? I have them at 8 wins.

San Francisco 49ers: (Vegas projected win total: 7)

Dave: Under. Cagey old veterans turned coaching drill sargents like Niners coach Mike Singletary have become old hat in the new NFL where players and agents run things. Tom Coughlin had to tone it down to get the Giants to succeed. The Jags tuned out Jack Del Rio and Marty Schottenheimer is still looking for work after being canned by San Diego a few years ago. The young Niners willingness to listen to a legend like Singletary will be the key factor to this team's success. Singletary made a splash early into his debut last year after taking disappointing TE Vernon Davis to task in front of the media following a loss. This year, Singletary will try to get through to cocky rookie wideout Michael Crabtree, who slid in the draft thanks to questions about his attitude as well as his speed. Another issue for Singletary will be the conundrum at QB between incumbent Shaun Hill and former top overall pick Alex Smith. Hill was solid yet unspectacular down the stretch last season and Smith took a pay cut in an effort to resume his career after numerous shoulder surguries. The dark horse to look out for on the QB depth chart will be rookie Nate Davis, who looked like a solid prospect coming out of Ball St. but performed poorly in postseason workouts and slipped considerably. If Singletary can restore order in the locker room and find a solid QB out of his bag of unproven arms, the team could be better than expected. If not, say hello to Sam Bradford!

Gabe: Under. I don't know what to think of this team. They are a mess. Head Coach Mike Singletary seems to be a crazy disciplinarian, but has to deal with Vernon Davis and now Michael Crabtree. They will produce good numbers if, and it is a big if, they get good play from whoever is under center. Frank Gore is a stud, but doesn't have much help. Their defense is not very good other than Nate Clements. I have them at 4 wins.

St. Louis Rams: (Vegas projected win total: 5)

Dave: Under. They finally got the left tackle they needed four years later. Baylor OT Jason Smith is being hailed by scouts as the type of franchise left tackle the Rams can build around for years to come. That's nice. Unfortunately, the team still has a ways to go on defense and not even coach Steve Spagnuolo can make a half-decent unit out of this group of underachievers. On offense, the team bid adieu to former Pro Bowler Torry Holt, leaving them with second-year wideout Donnie Avery. He'll catch passes from battered QB Marc Bulger, who might just be keeping the seat warm for whomever the Rams take with the #1 pick next year. On the bright side, if the Rams can get 16 games out of workhorse RB Steven Jackson, he'll do wonders for your fantasy team. For the Rams? Not so much.

Gabe: Under. New Head Coach. New Offensive Coordinator. Said goodbye to Torry Holt. Marc Bulger was mud when he was throwing to Holt and Bruce. He is going to awful when his no. 1 WR is Donnie Avery. Stephen Jackson is a stud. The rest of the team is shit from top to bottom. I think every week we'll see the team playing the Rams bring back Buddy Ryan's 11-men-in-the-box 4-6 defense. If they don't beat the 49er's in Week 17 they will no win a game. Here's to 0 wins once again in my lifetime.

There. Call your bookies. Throw us a kickback when you win.

With the second pick.........

Who you should take after Purple Jesus goes no. 1?

Fantasy football talk is picking up steam. Most people are really starting to pay attention now, although for me the "pay attention" time starts at the NFL draft, and most drafts are going to take place in the next month. (The official Boom Roasted Sports fantasy league's draft is in late August. Prepare to hear more about that.)

Here at BRS we take fantasy football kind of seriously. I have been playing fantasy football since 1998, and with the same group of guys since 2001. This year I am in two different leagues for money. We are fantasy nerds.

So this year, for the benefit our dozens of readers, we will doing a few fantasy columns, to get you prepared to dominate your league.

Dave has gone through his top picks overall for this year, and now I'm going to do the same thing.

So, in particular order, here are my top six candidates for the number two pick this year. (If you don't know that Adrian Peterson of the Vikings is the consensus no. 1 pick, contact me, I have a high stakes league I want you to join.)

Larry Fitzgerald: 69 receptions, 946 yards, and 6 touchdowns. Not bad numbers. Perfectly acceptable for most receivers. Those were Larry Fitzgerald's numbers in 2006 when he missed 3 games. Take away that year and he has averaged 99 receptions, over 1400 yards, and 10 touchdowns a season since 2005. The Card's offense shows no sign of slowing down. Fitz is still a physical freak of nature. The only small question marks are Kurt Warner's age and the effect of Anquan Boldin's antics. Expect another stellar season from this fantasy stud.

Andre Johnson: Andre Johnson is arguably the most physically gifted WR in the NFL. Over the last two seasons, 25 games played, he has averaged 96 receiving yards per game, easily the best in the NFL. With Steve Slaton the Texans have a legit running game and that takes a lot of pressure off of Johnson and the passing game. QB Matt Schaub has a cannon for an arm and as long as he stays healthy expect Johnson to keep putting up big numbers.

Matt Forte: Forte accounted for more of his team's offense than any other running back in the league. (I didn't know that off of the top of my head, I've read it multiple places.) He did have over 1,700 combined yards and 12 touchdowns last year, as a rookie. The Bears improved their O-Line and upgraded significantly at QB this offseason, meaning they won't see 8 men in the defensive box as much as they did last year. The only downsides are the possibility of a sophomore slump and health, but you can raise the health question with any player.

Michael Turner: Turner spent years as the best back-up RB in league. Last year he finally had the chance to be the man and all he did was run for 1699 yards and 17 touchdowns. The obvious concerns of health and fatigue are there. Turner is a non-factor in the passing game, but that's because the Falcons pass offense came into it's own, especially Matt Ryan and Roddy White. If Ryan's performance falls off then defenses might key on Turner a little more.

Maurice Jones-Drew: Last year Fred Taylor was still on the Jags' roster and Mojo D racked up 1,389 total yards and 14 TD's. This year the show will be his. He has never carried the ball more than 200 times in a season (NFL or college), but you only need to look at what Michael Turner did last year to see that isn't much of a concern. The Jags added Torry Holt so there passing game should get a little more respect and take some of the pressure off of Mojo.

Tom Brady: Tom Terrific is back and the word is he looks as healthy as ever. The Pats primarily play out of a three WR set and no one spreads the ball to more receivers than Brady. The Patriots are going to return to their 2007 form. Don't expect 50 TD's again, but he will probably lead the league in all of the significant passing categories.

Bonus: Stephen Jackson
The only reason, only reason, I don't put Jackson on the list is his health. He has played 16 games in a season only once in his career. If he could stay healthy I would put him ahead of everyone, including A.P. He has all-world talent. He is St. Louis' first option in the running and passing game (Sorry, I'm not jumping on the Donnie Avery bandwagon). Most importantly, his new OC is Pat Shurmur, who brings his west-coast-make-running-backs-into-fantasy-studs-offense from Philly. New Head Coach Steve Spagnuolo is a defensive genius (there is the Giants fan in me), so he'll leave the offense to Shurmur. If Jackson can stay healthy he is going to end the year as the top fantasy producer in the NFL. That is a big if.

Note: All of the RB's in this piece are the man on their team. No platooning. No third down change of pace back. They are the first, second, and third option. These type of guys are very rare.

There, consider some knowledge dropped on you.

Cut His Mic Off

We're always throwing darts blindly at the wall hoping they stick when it comes to crafting bits that catch on with Boom Roasted Sports reading public(all 5 of you....and counting), so what better time to try out new ideas than during the summer when baseball is the only game in town and the American sports public is just treading water until football and basketball(and hockey, if you're Canadian or live in Colorado) starts back up.

About a week ago, we came up with the idea of handing out a "Cut His Mic Off" Award(or her, we're not sexist pigs here) to go along with our ahead-of-its-time concept, The Milk Carton All-Star of the Week(as seen below). The premise is simple. When an athlete(or any celebrity, for that matter) says something stupid or ridiculous, we will salute their ignorance by posting their quote in this very space.....and then ripping said noteworthy individual to shreds. Let's give it a try, shall we?

" There's two weeks left and I'm doing everything I can. I was down here Sunday morning working out. I'm trying to get everything to where I feel 100 percent when I go in. I can't go in any less. When you're 39 years old, it's hard enough. But it's getting there." ---Soon-to-be Vikings quarterback and legendary flip-flopper Brett Favre

It seems like I'm always looking for ways to write up another Favre rip job, but sometimes, he just asks for it. For one, why are we still reporting on this story? Have we really learned anything new since the initial Favre flirtation with "coming back" as a Viking began back in April? Of course not! And what's with the deadline? WE ALL KNOW YOU'RE COMING BACK! Athletes don't have surgery if they're planning on staying retired. The fact is, even if Favre isn't 100% by the end of the month, he's either going to do one of two things: Sign with the Vikings or impose another stupid, meaningless deadline. So what's with the holdup? It's not like he's negotiating with other teams. It's play for Minnesota or go fishing. That's it! Why do we need another two weeks to wait for an announcement we already knew about two months ago? It's like sitting in a diner and the waiter comes by to see if you're ready to order and you keep telling him you need more time......except you've been staring at the same section of the menu every time he comes back.

The constant stringing along is something Favre has been doing for nearly half a decade and my problem isn't the fact that it's a tired act, it's the fact that it's a tired act and we keep talking about it. Einstein defines insanity as "doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result". Last year, during the Favre fiasco, Favre got mentally and physically prepared by showing up at local high school and slinging passes to young hopefuls. In other words, THE EXACT SAME THING HE'S DOING RIGHT NOW! Who in their right mind believes Favre is not signing with Minnesota by the end of the week and that this teetering is both a desperate cry for attention and a contract ploy to try to bluff Minnesota into giving more money. And how desperate is Minnesota, a team that's already the division favorite and a contender without Favre, that they're letting this washed-up drama queen cocktease them like this? Tarvaris Jackson, who is as smart as Favre is young, has already reportedly demanded a trade because even he knows Favre is knocking him down a rung on the depth chart. What exactly is the allure of a 39-year old QB with a bum arm to a team that already has a top 5 defense and the best running back in the game? Is it the "Let's piss off Packer fans" theory? Because, as a Packer fan and someone who has watched Favre for nearly 2 decades(and never more so than last season), I can tell you that Favre is as much a threat to Green Bay as Lara Flynn Boyle is to Kimbo Slice in an arm wrestling contest.

I loved the "When you're 39, it's hard enough" line. Hey, Brett, guess what, you were 38 last year and you led the league in interceptions. Two years before that, you had 18 TDs and 18 picks and you were 36. The year before that, at 35, you threw 29 interceptions to just 20 touchdowns. Noticing a theme here, Brett? You haven't been very good for a while and I have a better chance believing Arturo Gatti's wife's alibi than I do believing the concept that you can be a game manager for a team built for the long ball. And, really, what's the risk of you coming back less than 100%? You couldn't shoot any more holes in your legacy even if you hired Sahel Kazemi and Plaxico Burress.

So enough with the excuses, Brett. Sign the contract. Quit pussing out of training camp and enough with the "Will I or won't I?" bullshit. We know you're playing this season so let's hurry up and get this over with.

Until then..........we're cutting your mic off.

---Dave

Milk Carton All-Star of the Week.....7/16/2009

My wife's birthday was Monday, so I, being the outstanding husband that I am, thought it would be a nice gift to allow her to select this week's Milk Carton All-Star. Her initial suggestions were.....well, interesting. First, she made a couple attempts at MCAS history by offering up our first hockey player(Scott Gomez) and our first boxer(Michael Spinks). Then, she served up what looked like the bonafide winner in diminutive slam-dunk champion Spud Webb. However, at the 11th hour, after rigorous hours of research looking for the perfect candidate, she settled on a man of both relevance and historical substance.

The man seen before you, in case you're a total dolt, is former Washington Post columnist/former Monday Night Football analyst/host of ESPN's Pardon The Interuption Tony Kornheiser. Kornheiser's selection in this spot is a bit of a curveball because a. he's not an athlete by any sense of the word and b. Unlike past selections, Kornheiser isn't a complete and utter failure(unless you consider his stint in the booth for Monday Night Football the past couple years, which I didn't find to be that bad considering he was also partnered with ESPN broadcasting lynchpin Mike Tirico, who could make a gang war seem mundane).

Kornheiser got his start at Newsday in 1970 and jumped to The New York Times in 1976. In 1979, he became a general assignment reporter for The Washington Post, before becoming a sports columnist there in 1984. His witty, sarcastic style brought him critical acclaim which led to the penning of books like Pumping Irony, Bald As I Wanna Be and I'm Back For More Cash. He started working for ESPN in 1997, doing columns for ESPN The Magazine up until 2000. In 2001, Kornheiser and fellow Post columnist(and bald-a-tarian, which as a bald man, I am destined to make an official word) Michael Wilbon became hosts of the now widely-popular talking head show Pardon The Interuption. In 2006, Kornheiser was selected to join Tirico and Joe Theisman(who was wisely scratched later on for Xs and Os whiz kid Ron Jaworski) as part of the new Monday Night Football crew. In 2008, he accepted a buyout from the Post and has stuck primarily to radio and television. In 2009, Kornheiser left MNF because of travel concerns and was replaced with axed Bucs coach Jon Gruden. More importantly than that, he shares the same birthday as my wife, which was pretty much the sole reason for her selection.

So let's give it up for a fellow bald-a-tarian and Sultan of Sarcasm....Tony Kornheiser!

Bad Boys 3

The UFC hyped up this past weekend's UFC 100 as one of the greatest, if not the greatest, MMA pay-per-views EVER. It didn't disappoint with the main event, Brock Lesnar vs. Frank Mir II, ending with Lesnar beating Mir like he stole something and then borrowing a page from his WWE days by going out of his ways to infuriate the crowd and even one of UFC's top sponsors. Now, the unified heavyweight champion of the world, Lesnar has established himself as one of the company's top draws while also building up his reputation as the emerging sport's top bad guy. However, after pummeling Mir, the question that is no doubt being raised amongst MMA fans is simple: Now what? The dream scenario for UFC pit boss Dana White would be putting Lesnar against the man seen by many to be the top pound-for-pound fighter in the world, Fedor Emelianenko. While an Emelianenko-Lesnar match might equal or surpass the numbers that UFC drew this past Saturday, there's another intriguing opponent that could bring the UFC the kind of national attention that might make them a threat to American sports' Big Three(NFL, MLB, NBA):



Iron. Mike. Tyson.



Let's be honest with ourselves here. When MMA started to generate serious attention from the sports fans and sports media, we all at least pondered the possibility of Iron Mike establishing a second career in the Octagon. For one, he's the biggest boxing draw of the last 40 years. Second, his punching power, raw aggressiveness and borderline psychotic demeanor makes him, at the very least, an interesting prospect for MMA. Sure, Tyson's 43 years old and has spent the last few years on the Jessica Simpson Diet, but he's also a devastating puncher in dire need of steady cash flow and if 48-year old Ray Mercer can knock out former UFC heavyweight champ Tim Sylvia in nine seconds, Tyson would have at least a puncher's chance against Lesnar. It also gives Tyson the rare opportunity to be the good guy, as most(if not all) MMA fans tend to despise Lesnar for his unsportsmanlike antics and immature behavior. While UFC doesn't garner the type of paydays Tyson is accustomed to(Lesnar reportedly made $400K for UFC 100, not including sponsor money), that could change if Tyson commits himself to once again becoming a nationwide superstar.



As for Lesnar, no fighter currently in the MMA world(not even Fedor Emelianenko) can provide the type of buzz that a match-up with Mike Tyson can provide. The name Mike Tyson is sure to bring out all the old boxing fans who have been on hiatus while boxing has taken a downward spiral and given the styles of both fighters(Tyson the classic hard-charging brawler, Lesnar a ground-and-pound wrecking ball), it will no doubt perk up the ears of even casual fans. It also would give Lesnar a opportunity to test what some have called a "suspect chin". While Tyson clearly isn't the whirlwind of chaos that he once was(at least not inside the ring), he still packs one of the hardest punches on the face of the planet and Lesnar's ability to take some shots from Iron Mike will go a long way to his still-blossoming career. Plus, there's the opportunity to further rub salt in the eyes of fight fans by dispatching one of the greatest boxing legends of all time. Given Lesnar's affinity for verbally disparaging opponents and igniting the crowd with his arrogant, vulgar brand of instigation, it would be entertaining to see how Lesnar would call out Tyson at the end of his fights(assuming he continues to win) and further promote this dream fight.



Now, for why the UFC would be interested. Obviously, there's the chance to bring Tyson to the Octogon, which has been something diehards have been pressing White to do for years. Also, what better way to put the final nail in the coffins of boxing and pro wrestling than reaping the benefits of a fight that puts arguably the most popular and enigmatic boxer of the last 30 years against one of the greatest former WWE superstars of this generation? With pro wrestling already struggling to draw fans to their current PPVs, it would be almost impossible for them to match a main event with the kind of hype of Lesnar-Tyson(Side note: Reportedly, the best the WWE has been able to do in terms of PPV buys was just over 1.2 million for Wrestlemania 23. A number that UFC could easily smash with Lesnar vs. Tyson as well as an undercard featuring stars like Georges St. Pierre). The big risk, of course, would be the possibility of Tyson winning and then, much like he did during his boxing career, losing motivation and reducing himself back into to being a Grade A headcase. The UFC would have then sacrificed its biggest heavyweight cash cow to put all its eggs in the withered basket of Mike Tyson. There's also the obstacle of Tyson's contract demands. As the bigger draw of the two and someone in financial straits, Tyson would require an unheard of amount of money to convince him to get off his couch and get pounded on by a man nearly half a foot taller and nearly 40 pounds heavier(assuming Tyson comes in around his boxing weight of about 220)



That being said, White has been known to take risks when building his brand. The publicity and revenue for a fight of this magnitude might be too large for White to pass up(especially if Lesnar were to win). With Tyson's name back on people's tongues after his small role in The Hangover and also being on the cover of EA Sports' Fight Night Round 4, the time to strike on a deal to lock down Tyson might never be better than right now. With Lesnar earning critical acclaim after his dismantling of Mir(granted as UFC's biggest jerk), this might be the only time that both men have a substantial amount of national relevance at the same time. Lesnar. Tyson. White. It's America's Most Wanted.....so LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!!

---Dave

Furries and Potato Chips

The Mets are a joke.


I have said that before in this space and I'll continue to say it.


They are never going to be a legit, big boy team until they stop doing things like these:


Earlier this month the Mets were on the road and in the same hotel as a "Furry" convention. For the uneducated, "furries" are people who dress up as animals, often for sexual pleasure.




Now, it's not the team's fault that this convention just happened to be held at their hotel. But it is the team's fault for not staying in a hotel that people who get their kicks dressing up as animals cannot afford.


Then yesterday happened.





Economic times are bad and just like every team the Mets need to put butts in the seats. So how do they try to do this?
Unlike a big boy team, which would try to put a better product on the field and win, or offer cheaper tickets, the Mets needed a gimmick.

They decided to try to break the record for most people chewing potato chips in one place at one time.

Bastards.

That is such a bush league promotion. I would expect this out of the Poughkipsee Mudcrawlers.

I swear, I think the Mets are only about three weeks away from Roger Dorn buying the team and then activating himself.

R.I.P. to two of the greatest......

Another day, another tribute to a dead athlete. In this case, two dead athletes.




That's right sports fans, the world has lost it's two greatest midget Mexican wrestling stars.

I know these two need no introduction and that everyone knows that is La Parkita (Little Death) on the left and his twin brother, Espectrito II, on the right.

Known to the Mexican government as Alberto and Alejandro Jimenez, the two were found dead earlier this week in a hotel room after being drugged and robbed by fake prostitutes working for a gang called La Filtracion (The Leak). (I'm not making a word of this up, check out the articles in The Sun and Wikipedia.)

So everyone send their condolences and pour some out because Espectrito II and Little Death suffered...............a little death. (It's corny, but I couldn't help myself.)

Beer of the Week, Special Mexican Edition

It's starting to feel disingenuous calling this column "Beer of the Week", but I'm going to keep calling it that and maybe soon I'll live up to that name.

For now I'm going to continue my special, sporadic, summer series. I'm going to go a little off course for this one and not review a few "summer seasonals." Instead I'm going to take a look at some of the beers of Mexico, in honor of my recent trip there.

I'll be looking at Corona, Modelo Especial, Negra Modelo, and Sol. These are the beers I actually had while on vacation. I didn't bother trying Leon because I've heard it is awful. I wanted to try Pacifico and Tecate but I didn't get around to it. (That's because in our hotel rooms we had a case of each Modelo to work through, and, more significantly, once I tried a Sol I didn't want anything else. I'll try Pacifico and Tecate sometime soon.)

Corona:

I'll get through this quickly. Everyone has had it. You know what it is all about. The only reason I drank one in Mexico was because I went to an all-inclusive dinner where Corona was the only beer choice.

Modelo Especial:

This beer was unremarkable. It is not bad, but not great. It is a typical good Mexican light beer. It is the type of beer you can drank on a hot summer afternoon, all afternoon. You won't get tired of it, but if something better is available you'd probably leave the Modelo behind.

Negra Modelo:

This beer is great. It has a nice dark rich color. It has a robust full flavor. The mouthfeel is very smooth. I prefer dark beers and this one is no exception.

Sol:

A lot of people don't like this beer. In fact, it is panned on most of the good beer websites. However, many of the reviews mention old or skunky beers. I imagine it is difficult to find fresh specimens in the U.S.A. That being said, I had a fresh one in Mexico. We had had a long day, lots of walking in the oppressive Mexican sun. My wife and I sat down at an outdoor dive bar and ordered two Sol simply because they were 2 for $4. It was perfect. The flavor and refreshment the beer provided stopped me in my tracks. When we got up to leave we had four empty bottles on the table, three of which were mine. Enough said.

Boom Boom Pow

When news broke of Steve McNair's murder, I was sad. Not just sad because America once again lost another important celebrity figure. Not just sad because a great man's life was cut way too short. I was sad for America. You see, the real tragedy behind McNair's death isn't the fact that McNair is gone, it's that we as Americans will inevitably learn nothing from it.

10 years removed from the tragic shootings at Columbine High School and midway through a year that has seen a overwhelming amount of families torn apart by random acts of killing, we just don't seem to get it about the dangers of gun possession. When Barack Obama was elected into office, many in the small town that I live in rushed the store counters in a frenzy to buy up all the guns and ammo they can out of fear that Obama was coming to clean house. That's right, despite the fact that this country just finished serving 8 years under a ignorant moron who plunged this nation into the worst economic crisis in nearly a century and sent thousands of young American to their death in a unneccesary war with a country that posed no immediate threat to us, the new face of fear in the hearts of many was a tall, lanky, Ivy League educated black man from the South Side of Chicago. The irony of the role of firearms in this country is that they are agents of safety that do everything but keep us safe. In 2009, guns are now easier to buy than Michael Jackson's Thriller CD. Gun nuts will be quick to spout off about how they have the right to bare arms and all that nonsense, but my response would be for what? What immediate danger is being posed to this country that we suddenly need to have our basements resemble the armory section of the museum in Demolition Man? Is it Al Queda? North Korea? Bin Laden? Because I'll tell you this, I'm not nearly as fearful of North Korea's nukes as I am of Dale in Tuscaloosa, who just lost his job and now has to come home to piles of bills and a cabinet full of rifles. What's the point in having a police department if Americans feel the need to serve and protect themselves?

It's an issue that seems to get glossed over even after incidents like Sean Taylor's murder, Pacman Jones' strip club fiasco, Tank Johnson's arrest, Plaxico Burress' nightclub fumble, and now the death of Steve McNair. Over the last two years, hundreds picketed outside of courthouses and stadiums to keep dog-killing miscreant Michael Vick out of the NFL or any other place of employment. You wonder if these same people will be picketing outside of hobby stores now that this country has lost another person to senseless violence. When did the killing of pit bulls become more unbearable than the practically daily story of enraged family man coming home to shoot up his wife and kids before killing himself? Is human life less precious than dogs now? More importantly, how can we stand on a higher ground and denounce poorer countries when our solution to adversity is to start shooting shit up? Are we not hypocrites?

Another matter that came out in the McNair tragedy that seems to sicken me is the questioning by media figures of McNair's legacy now that it's been revealed that he was having a extra-marital affair. First and foremost, that is and never was any of our business. Secondly, did having a piece on the side tarnish the legacy of Michael Jordan, who is the God of All Sports? Or how about his Airness' gambling addiction that may or may not have resulted in the murder of his father? Did you go out and stop eating Ball Park franks, slurping down a Gatorade while you adjusted your Hanes and tied your fresh new pair of Nikes? Or how about the sudden turnaround we all did on Kobe Bryant, who went from rapist to simply an adulterer to back to being a marketing cash cow in a span of about 5 years? Funny how we cared more about him winning without Shaq than internally questioning our own morals for cheering on a man we once condemned. We exert so much energy blaming guys like McNair and Kobe for bad judgement, but what about these girls? Should we not question the morals of girls who throw themselves at famous athletes that they know full well have families of their own? At what point, do we start holding them accountable? Sure, if McNair never cheated on his wife, maybe he'd still be alive. How about if this chick would have just went out and found her a regular college guy instead of a famous married man?

The reason for this epidemic is the evolution of promiscuity. Men and women are developing at younger ages, and especially now in the era of reality TV and Girls Gone Wild, sex is being marketed to them at a much earlier age than it was 10 or 20 years ago. It's why VH1 can have a never-ending primetime schedule of shows featuring (insert washed-up celebrity has-been here) attempts to find love amongst a sea of women who were too young to remember when this "celebrity" was famous but will jump his bones anyway if it means a slight bit of TV face time. So now you have a far larger population of women between the ages of 14-30 who are just dying to give it up to the first guy who asks for their phone number. It's why you see girls at very young ages wearing booty shorts and halter tops. It's a combination of poor marketing and poor parenting. It's another example of America's hypocrisy. We'll cut down the Muslim world for denying their women rights and keeping them enslaved in burkas, but we have no problem letting 6th graders play with makeup and dress up like Malibu Barbie. What would you say is a more disturbing thought: the mistreatment of women in a foriegn country that you wouldn't visit if they paid you or the fact that right now some old man in his 60s in his sitting on his couch beating it to a DVD of your daughter going down on her dorm-mate in a swanky Cancun hotel on Spring Break that he just bought with his AARP money?

After Michael Jackson died, I never would have thought I'd be writing another tribute a week later. The tragic irony of the loss of Steve McNair is that with all the wide eyes on the crime scene, we all seem to fail to see the big picture. How many good men and women have to die before we stop looking across the sea and start taking a long look at ourselves?

--Dave