Milk Carton All-Star of the Week.....7/16/2009

My wife's birthday was Monday, so I, being the outstanding husband that I am, thought it would be a nice gift to allow her to select this week's Milk Carton All-Star. Her initial suggestions were.....well, interesting. First, she made a couple attempts at MCAS history by offering up our first hockey player(Scott Gomez) and our first boxer(Michael Spinks). Then, she served up what looked like the bonafide winner in diminutive slam-dunk champion Spud Webb. However, at the 11th hour, after rigorous hours of research looking for the perfect candidate, she settled on a man of both relevance and historical substance.

The man seen before you, in case you're a total dolt, is former Washington Post columnist/former Monday Night Football analyst/host of ESPN's Pardon The Interuption Tony Kornheiser. Kornheiser's selection in this spot is a bit of a curveball because a. he's not an athlete by any sense of the word and b. Unlike past selections, Kornheiser isn't a complete and utter failure(unless you consider his stint in the booth for Monday Night Football the past couple years, which I didn't find to be that bad considering he was also partnered with ESPN broadcasting lynchpin Mike Tirico, who could make a gang war seem mundane).

Kornheiser got his start at Newsday in 1970 and jumped to The New York Times in 1976. In 1979, he became a general assignment reporter for The Washington Post, before becoming a sports columnist there in 1984. His witty, sarcastic style brought him critical acclaim which led to the penning of books like Pumping Irony, Bald As I Wanna Be and I'm Back For More Cash. He started working for ESPN in 1997, doing columns for ESPN The Magazine up until 2000. In 2001, Kornheiser and fellow Post columnist(and bald-a-tarian, which as a bald man, I am destined to make an official word) Michael Wilbon became hosts of the now widely-popular talking head show Pardon The Interuption. In 2006, Kornheiser was selected to join Tirico and Joe Theisman(who was wisely scratched later on for Xs and Os whiz kid Ron Jaworski) as part of the new Monday Night Football crew. In 2008, he accepted a buyout from the Post and has stuck primarily to radio and television. In 2009, Kornheiser left MNF because of travel concerns and was replaced with axed Bucs coach Jon Gruden. More importantly than that, he shares the same birthday as my wife, which was pretty much the sole reason for her selection.

So let's give it up for a fellow bald-a-tarian and Sultan of Sarcasm....Tony Kornheiser!