Milk Carton All-Star of the Week.....7/31/2009

With the recent "shocking" news that former Boston Red Sox slugger Manny Ramirez and current BoSox DH David Ortiz used performance-enhancing drugs back in 2003, folks in and around Beantown have taken quite the beating from fans doubting the legitimacy of Boston's epic breaking of the curse in 2004. Fear not, Boston-ites. We here at Boom Roasted Sports have unearthed a man from that memorable World Series championship team that will silence all these haters calling your legacy into question:

The man on the left is sweet-swinging second baseman Pokey Reese(The clay-mation horse on the right, however, is Pokey from the legendary Gumby cartoons). Reese came up at age 24 as a member of the Cincinatti Reds. His slick glove-work earned him two Golden Gloves in 1999 and 2000. He finished in the top 10 in stolen bases for three straight years(1999-2001). His prowess at the plate, however, was second to none. Offensively, Pokey was more like Prickle. He's a lifetime .248 hitter, notching 44 homers and 271 RBIs in his eight-year career. His lack of patience at the dish saw him whiff 531 times in a little over 3,000 plate appearances. In 2001, Reese was shipped to Colorado. 24 hours later, he was sent to Boston for legendary first baseman Scott Hatteberg. The Red Sox didn't tender Reese a contract that year, however, and Pokey ended up becoming a free agent and signing a two-year deal with the Pittsburgh Pirates. In 2004, Reese returned to Boston, where his defensive abilities helped make him a part of the first Red Sox championship team in 86 years!

So let's give it up for the man who should have spent more time stealing Manny's prescriptions than stealing bases, the poor man's Desi Relaford.........Pokey Reese, ladies and gents!!!!

Give it up for Pokey the Horse, too. Gumby was money back in the day.