Amendments and Additions to the Commandments

A couple of weeks ago Dave posted his Six Sports Fan Commandments.

It's a pretty good list, but I don't think it is complete. Here are my amendments and additions to his list.

Commandment 7. The "We" Rule. - This could also be called the "paycheck or uniform" rule.

It is NOT acceptable for a fan to say "we" when referring to the happenings of their favorite professional team. You aren't part of the team. They don't care about your personally and if you stopped watching they wouldn't miss you. If you collect a paycheck from the team, from the mail room to the owner's suite, or wear a uniform with the team's colors (players, cheerleaders, bands), you are allowed to say we. I see this first-hand. My younger brother has been a member of the Baltimore Ravens Marching Band since he was 14. At every Ravens home game he puts on a purple and black uniform that says "Ravens" on it and performs at the stadium. He is allowed to say "we" when talking about the Ravens.

There are a few exceptions to this rule:
- Alma Maters - You are allowed to say we when referring to the teams of any school you attended, college or high school.
- Season ticket holder - But only after a long.....long......time. Thirty years, or if your grandfather passed down season tickets to your father who then passed them down to you. Then it is marginally acceptable to say we.

Commandment 8. The Men's Jersey Rule.

When and where it is acceptable for a male to wear a jersey is mostly based on age:

Up to 12 years old - You can wear your favorite jersey everyday, no matter where, no matter what season. You could be like this kid. I said up until age 12 because that's when he stopped.

12 to 18 - Acceptable - school, on weekends. Avoid when out with girls and never wear a jersey on consecutive days. Also, try to keep it in season, meaning don't wear a Chicago Bulls jersey in August.

18 to 22 - Acceptable - Every now and then to class, while attending a sporting event, while watching a sporting event in a party atmosphere, or the day after your team wins. Never wear it out, ever.

22 to 50 - Acceptable - At a sporting event, Super Bowl Sunday, fantasy drafts, employer sponsored "Donate a dollar to charity and wear your favorite jersey Friday." Not acceptable - all other times.

50+ - Acceptable - You're being honored for your service to the team. That's it.

Exceptions to all of these rules....you're a professional athlete, you work at Finish Line, you're the Schwab.

Amendment to Dave's never switching teams rule.
There are times when it is acceptable to change your allegiance to a professional sports team.

- You are drafted or become employed by a team. Call this an extension of the "paycheck or uniform" rule.

- Your child plays for a team. If my wife and I were to have a child that became the kicker for the Miami Dolphins then guess what, I become a Dolphins fan. (And a professional kicker is about the only chance I have of getting a pro athlete. A kicker or a Dustin Pedroia sized shortstop. Getting above 5'8" probably isn't in the cards for any kid of mine, but they will be scrappy.)

- The "passive-proximity" rule. This is the one that won't fly with most people. I think it is perfectly acceptable to start rooting for a team that moves into your area, a new team that comes to your area, or a team that is in a city you move to....but....only if you aren't a fan of that sport already, or, if you aren't a committed fan of that sport.
Examples....When the Nationals came to D.C. I started following them and I pull for them. Even though I've grown up a Mets fan, I'm not really a baseball guy. I've always been a passive fan and truly don't care about the Mets or baseball as much as other pro teams in other sports. But again, it is only O.K. because the Nationals were new and are much more local. The same applies to my relationship with UVA sports. I only root for them because I have never really had a favorite D1 college team (except for basketball, let's go Hoyas!!)and UVA is in now in my backyard.

For better or worse there are my ideas for the Sports Fan Commandments. As my favorite suspended sports talking head Tony Kornheiser would say...."That's it, that's the list."