Everybody Please Shut Up!

We'll get to my thoughts on the actual draft picks from this weekend's NFL Draft eventually, but I felt it was necessary to address a growing problem that I noticed while watching the Draft.

Time was, there was no better place to be during Draft weekend than ESPN. Mel Kiper Jr. would fire up NFL GMs with his biting criticism. Chris Berman would huck it up with the rest of the panel and play the role of the consummate guy's guy.

Then, something changed.

Whether it was because they were feeling pressure from the emergence of the NFL Network's coverage of the Draft or they were just plain gluttonous, ESPN decided to put everybody and their mother on the broadcast this past weekend. Instead of having the usual four guests on the panel(Berman, Kiper, Tom Jackson and a special guest like Denny Green or Jimmy Johnson), ESPN went five wide on the Draft's first night(Kiper, Berman, TJ, Jon Gruden and Steve Young).

That led to a slew of problems. The biggest one being the presence of Gruden who, besides being in love with the sound of his voice, continues on with his "I don't want to offend anyone" schtick by being the booth's Paula Abdul. Gruden's accentuating of the positives wouldn't be nearly as bad if it didn't come at the expense of the other guys on the desk. Numerous times Thursday night, Gruden would either interrupt another commentator's thoughts or he would shout over them to get his point across. Again, this wouldn't be nearly as big a problem if Gruden was being such a giant ass kiss. Scared to burn bridges while still trying to make himself enough of a focal point of the broadcast to grab attention, Gruden spent most of the first two nights of coverage being a walking cliche, spouting out things like "This guy is a football player" or "That's a heck of a pick! I want that guy on my team!". Other than the constant use of the chorus to Jay-Z's "Empire State of Mind", Gruden was the most annoying factor of the coverage.

Then, there's Berman. At one time, Berman was a lovable bloot with witty catchphrases and a certain charm with fans, fellow panelists and GMs alike. He seemed like the coolest guy at the bar, telling funny jokes and interesting stories(The gimmick where Berman would predict the pick of his beloved Buffalo Bills by claiming he got word from a cabbie was pretty entertaining, but he's apparently gone away from that now). Now, whether it's his inflated ego or an overwhelming sense of bulletproof seniority with the company, Berman has turned into a surly douche bag. Every now and then, we get glimpses of the old Boomer we grew up watching. For the most part, however, we get the new Boomer: a guy who, much like Gruden, tries to make himself the star of the show and continues on with the same corny jokes until someone sells it by overlaughing(The best example being Berman introducing Kiper on Thursday and Friday night with the same "Kiper's been here since Jay Berwanger in 1936" quip that wasn't funny the first time). We also accidently got to see the Boomer that had been exposed as an off-camera nightmare to producers(as shown by the numerous rants by Berman you can find on YouTube). When the producers mistakenly cued to the desk during a celebration for the armed forces, Berman was seen angrily gesturing to the camera to either cut or film elsewhere.

The other problem with the 5-man booth is that, with time between picks in the first round now five minutes shorter, everyone rushes to say their piece before the next pick is made. That leads to guys constantly talking over each other or, as was the case numerous times Thursday night, guys just having separate conversations with each other while one guy is talking. So rather than gleaming some interesting info from the panelists, the viewer is just watching five grown men scream at each other like an old married couple. Normally, Berman would just orchestrate who gets to talk by deferring to someone at random, be it Kiper or whomever, but Berman is so wound up with being a stand-up comedian that everyone just chips in at once. What also made the crowded group annoying was how ESPN felt, with so many high-profile QBs on display in this year's draft, that they had to have a Hall of Fame QB in Steve Young AND a self-proclaimed "QB Guru" in Gruden. Young occasionally has interesting insight, but too often sounds like a guy who took too many hits to the head. When he wasn't slurping Tim Tebow for being a lefty QB(which makes you wonder what Young would have said had he been around for Mike Vick in 2001 or Cade McNown in 1999), he would mispronounce names like calling Miles Austin "Austin Miles" numerous times. Steve Young, ladies and gentlemen, our generation's Frank Gifford.

As for Gruden, I fail to understand where the "QB Guru" moniker comes from. Sure, Gruden was a good assistant coach during his days under Mike Holmgren(if you don't believe me, just ask him, he'll surely tell you), but as a head coach? He transformed journeyman Rich Gannon from a adequate bridge-gap starter to an NFL MVP(although I defy you to find me a worse MVP winner in the last 20 years). Then, he went to Tampa Bay and won a Super Bowl, with a team mostly put into place by Tony Dungy, by simply making QB Brad Johnson serviceable. I suppose Brian Billick is a "QB guru" because he managed to win a title with Trent Dilfer at quarterback. Gruden, in a moment of irony, was caught off-guard by a live mic and, for a brief second, we got to see a rare "Chucky" moment when he called NFL coaches "dumbasses" to Kiper during a flashback montage. This from the guy who drafted Michael Clayton and Chris Simms, mind you.

So what's the solution? Well, ESPN seemed to get it right on Saturday for the final day of coverage. They subbed out Berman, Jackson and Gruden with Trey Wingo, Ron Jaworski and Todd McShay and dropped the fifth wheel. Wingo proved to be better at organizing the panel and giving everyone time to talk than Berman and McShay was a better fit with Kiper than Gruden because a. McShay isn't scared to oppose Kiper and b. McShay isn't trying to openly promote himself for a job in the NFL. The Kiper-McShay feud(which has been on display in debates leading up the Draft and came to a head about two hours before Thursday's night opening round when the two went at it for the 6,000th time over Notre Dame QB Jimmy Clausen. Jaworski is a guy who should always be in on the debate because he's a meticulous film rat who offers up detailed insight(even when at times it seems he contradicts himself). It's Jaws' presence, not Gruden's, that makes the Monday Night Football booth interesting. Still, at the end of the day, the Draft should be a couple of guys saying their piece and then shutting up so Kiper can talk. Kiper spends hours upon hours prepping for the NFL Draft. He's shown that he's the most knowledgeable of the Draft process and seems to be the guy least afraid of making a critique(especially when Gruden is on air). That's why next year's booth should be Berman(only because the network foolishly extended this blowhard and now can't get rid of him), Jackson(to sell Berman's jokes), Jaworski(to break down film) and Kiper(because he's Mel Kiper Jr and this is his night, damnit!).

In the old days, ESPN set up stations with other panelists, whether it be back in the studio in Bristol or in a isolated area at the venue. This year, that isolated area was manned by insiders Chris Mortenson and Adam Schefter(who did an admirable job of co-existing despite reports that Mort was a bit uneasy over the possibility of being replaced by Schefter). Mort and Schefter's only mistakes were, like so many others throughout the coverage, being unaware of when the mic was on and staring blankly into the camera at times during their cue(More so Mort than Schefter). That's something ESPN should re-visit next year as well. If you're going to incorporate your entire football staff, keep the four-man booth and then set up teams around the venue to go to to get another opinion. Put Mort and Schefter one place. Put McShay in another spot and put Gruden out to pasture.

The NFL Draft is about featuring the guys getting ready to make the transition from college to the pros. It's not about broadcasters putting forth their own agendas, or trying to turn the broadcast into ameteur night. ESPN, for a long time, got this right and it's why so many people still turn to them over the NFL Network's broadcast. That, however, may change. With ESPN's staff expanding so aggressively, there is, as the old cliche goes, too many cooks in the kitchen. The broadcast works when you everyone knows their role and doesn't spend the entire night like it's Around The Horn without the mute button. From a production standpoint, the network makes far too much money and has been doing this for far too long to make the brainfarts it made during the three-night extravaganza. NFL Network's broadcast isn't perfect but it manages to not be a shoutfest, and that's with the ultimate egomaniac in Deion Sanders. Right now, ESPN has the advantage of being a more known brand that is available on more providers but if this year's circus starts to become the norm, it won't be just Gruden campaigning for another job.