The Return of the Milk Carton All-Star of the Week

People have always used the start of the new year as an excuse to make changes, try different things, think differently, act differently, whatever. Even myself, a well-known lazy bum who procrastinates like no other, is using 2011 as the year I get myself back in shape, take one last chance at realizing my athletic potential before I say hello to 30(less than 2 years away), and dedicate myself fully to the very website you find yourself reading. In an effort to stay true to the latter, I've game-planned a regimen that will bring back some old things that went by the wayside(as you'll see in the coming hours) as well as trying out some new things(yeah, I haven't quite figured out that part fully yet....). The last couple of weeks have proven to me that this has become a one-man show, and with a new, more aggressive approach, expect to see a lot of my lewd, ignorant, "hater" ass for '11 and beyond.

Enough with the preamble. Back to basics.

Chances are, you've probably forgotten about the name "Nikoloz Tskitishvilli". I can't blame you. "Skita", as he was known during his glory days in the Republic of Georgia and how he'll be known from here on out because his last name is a bitch to spell correctly, was one of many members of the fateful 2002 NBA Draft class that were as big on hype and upside but low on production. Some of the other notable disappointments among Skita's class: DaJuan Wagner(New Jersey's all-time leading scorer, regarded as "The Next A.I."), Chris Wilcox(classic underclassman that came out way too soon......otherwise known as "The Omar Cook All-Stars), Jay Williams(last big thing at Duke, wrecked career in a motorcycle accident), Jared Jefferies(see Wilcox, Chris) and Juan Dixon(feel good story but was always an inch too short and a step too slow to make in the pros). Much like his '02 classmates, Skita wanted to strike while the iron was hot when it came time to declare and, man, was it hot for foreign players with even the slightest bit of basketball talent.

Desperate to find "The Next Dirk Nowitzki", teams spent the next few years dissecting grainy, surveillance camera-quality highlight reels and falling in love with the first big man with a jump shot they saw. Some of the guys taken in '02: Bostjan Nachbar(out of the NBA), Jiri Welsh(same), Nene Hilario(servicable big man), Yao Ming(All-Star before his feet failed him) and Nenad Krstic(decent 12th man on the right team). Yao being the obvious exception(although the fact that he's nearly calling it a career at 30 has to be a bit unsettling for Rockets fans and would be more disappointing for NBA fans if not for the name "Greg Oden"), none of these imports lived up to the hype. The biggest swing and a miss was Skita. After the Nuggets acquired Nene in a trade with the Knicks, Skita and Nene(which I'm almost 100 percent sure would be a reality show on VH1 if they were drafted a few years later) were billed as the first sign of a turnaround in the Rockies(mainly because nobody really knew that the team would steal Carmelo Anthony a year later). A couple of big men that went after Skita and Nene: 5-time All-Star forward Amare Stoudemire(9th) and my twin brother Carlos Boozer(who inexplicably dropped to Round 2). Caron Butler(10th) was also taken after the second coming of "Perfect Strangers", but his legacy has become being an overachiever who seems to always get traded.

While Nene has managed to stick around in the pros, the same can't be said for Skita. In 2 1/2 seasons with Denver, Skita averaged 1.4 points and 1.3 rebounds per game(or the equivalent of what Kevin Love gets within the first 30 seconds after tip-off). 1.4 points and 1.3 rebounds from a guy taken 5th overall? Yikes. After stinking up the thin Colorado air with his stench, Baby Balky was shipped to Golden State alongside fellow flameout Rodney White in exchange for the triple-decker turd sandwich that was Luis Flores(Who?), Eduardo Najera and a first round pick that turned out to be Petteri Koponen(yeah, I'm stumped, too.). Skita lasted about as long with the Warriors as a Nicolas Cage movie lasts in theaters. After appearing in just 12 games and averaging a pedestrian(to put it mildly) 1.3 points and 1 rebound a game, Skita signed with Minnesota in the offseason. By January, the T'Wolves sent Skita packing to Phoenix in exchange for a 2nd round pick. By the age of 22, the man heralded as "The Next Dirk" was out of the NBA, which made him "The Next Scoonie Penn".

Skita's impressive(sarcasm alert!) numbers in his four-year career of racking up frequent flier miles and rocking a terrorist beard during mop-up duty: 2.9 points and 1.8 rebounds per game. Meanwhile, Amare's putting on an MVP season in New York, while Carlos Boozer is regaining his momentum after missing the first few weeks due to injury in his debut season with the Bulls(this after two All-Star campaigns in Utah as well as being a part of the infamous "Would LeBron still be a Cav if Cleveland Kept Carlos Boozer?" question).

So, let's give an 11.3 minute applause(Skita's average minutes per game during his illustrious career) for the European Wang Zhi Zhi.......Nikoloz Tskitishvili, everybody!