Week 8 Picks

In Week 7, Dave distanced himself even further in the season series. If you're taking my picks to your bookie, I'm terribly sorry. Pay no mind to the muscles in the Armani suit knocking on your door right now. Remember, these picks are for entertainment purposes only.

I'm going to say that this is just me setting up my epic late season comeback. In an effort to facilitate said comeback, this week I abandoned hunches and feelings and actually looked at some stats and trends and injuries when making my picks.

Last week, I took Oakland over Kansas City, an embarrassing choice amplified by the fact that I took them in one of my Eliminator challenges. That being said, I correctly picked New Orleans to beat Indianapolis, which they did by a nail biting 55 points. Captain Capicola can't say the same thing.

On to week 8!

Last week:

Dave: 8-5

Gabe: 4-9

Season:

Dave: 51-45-7

Gabe: 37-59-7

Indianapolis (+9) at Tennessee

Dave: Tennessee - The "Should The Colts Take Andrew Luck?" debate is actually quite interesting. Say Peyton Manning recovers remarkably from neck surgery and it adds another five years to his career. The Colts draft Luck, the best QB prospect in decades, and he sits the bench forever while the Colts just used the highest pick they've had in years to draft an heir apparent for a man who's not going anywhere. Could we be looking at another Favre-Rodgers scenario? Should we start buying out Peyton Manning Titans jerseys now? As for the game, Matt Hasselbeck being slightly less than 100% is the only thing keeping this from being a romp, but I still like Titans by 10. Also, President Obama is currently working on bringing in Navy Seal Six to locate the body of Chris Johnson, believed to be missing since January.

Gabe: Tennessee - The Colts are next to last in the league in opposing rushing yards. The Titans have a running back of whom you may have heard. I’m usually not right when I say this, but, I think CJ2K loses his mind. The Titans get in the end zone all day on the ground and shorten the game. Tennessee by at least 14.

New Orleans (-13.5) at St. Louis

Dave: New Orleans - Given how up and down the Saints have been, wouldn't this be the perfect let down game for New Orleans? After putting up Oklahoma-Mount Union numbers on the Colts last week, couldn't you see the Saints struggle a little with no Mark Ingram against a hungry Rams team? No? Me neither. It has to suck to be a Rams fan right now, because you're in the Andrew Luck sweepstakes and don't need Andrew Luck. Saints by 17.

Gabe: New Orleans - Here is a stat for you: the Rams have scored 56 points this season…the Saints scored 62 last week. The Rams will most likely be without starting QB Sam Bradford again. I don’t see them being able to keep up. I see New Orleans going up 3 or 4 TD’s before halftime and then coasting. Saints by at least 20.

Arizona (+12.5) at Baltimore

Dave: Arizona - Remember when I said in this very space last week that, as a Packers fan, the Ravens are the only team that scares me? I withdraw that statement. The Ravens right now look as scary as a Disney movie. I'm more terrified of a Sally Jessie Raphael sex tape. Seriously though, why the hell would I pick Baltimore after they shit the bed last week? Oh, because they are angry after looking abysmal against Jacksonville on national TV and they are going to take it out on the Cardinals? Please. Joe Flacco looked like Giovanni Carmazzi last week and I'm not putting my stamp on a Ravens rebound until I see it. The Ravens will win here but I think it's going to be another ugly game. Ravens by 10.

Gabe: Baltimore - I kind of feel bad for Arizona. The Ravens are angry after what happened Monday night. The Cards have to travel across the country for this game. The Ravens are clearly the more talented team. Can they rally and rise up for this game? I think so. Ravens win big.

Miami (+10) at NY Giants

Dave: New York - There is really no reason for Miami to put up a fight here. Chad Henne's out. Daniel Thomas is out. Vontae Davis is out. You can smell the Vidal Sassoon oozing from Andrew Luck's hair in South Beach right now. The # 1 pick is in your grasps, Miami. Don't blow it like Seattle did by putting up a fight against Gabe's timid Little Giants. Let Eli Manning roast you for 300 and four scores so New Yorkers can get their Karl Kani jeans in a bunch and fist pump until their arms fall off. Lick the stamp and mail this bitch in, Sparano. You're done for anyway. Giants by 14.

Gabe: New York - Man, I love Big Blue in this spot. Coming off of a bye, against a really shitty Miami team? How can you not like them to win big? There are a few concerns….the Giants give up lots of rushing yards, so Reggie Bush and co. could have a decent day. Most worrying is that the G-Men have a showdown in Foxboro next weekend. This could be a textbook trap game. That being said, I think my boys take care of business and win by 13.

Minnesota (+3.5) at Carolina

Dave: Carolina - Coming from a guy who watched his Scarlet Knights blow a 10-point lead to end a 16-game losing streak to West Virginia, I can tell you that past history is important. Gabe's quoted stats all day. Here's my shot: Dating back to 2001, the Vikings have beaten the Panthers twice in six tries(a 20-10 win in 2008 and a 16-13 eeking out in 2006). Christian Ponder might be a poor man's Aaron Rodgers, but Cam Newton is a rich man's Cam Newton. This secondary isn't going to stop Cam-Cam with time to throw after he spins Jared Allen around the field all day. I like the Panthers here by 6.

Gabe: Minnesota - Don’t let Cam Newton fool you, Carolina is a mess. Newton’s eye-popping yardage numbers are covering a lot of mistakes. The Vikings have a decent team around Christian Ponder. I feel now that they have a QB who can actually sling the ball, they will be a lot better. I’m not sure they can beat Carolina, but I think this game is going to be close…a field goal either way.

Detroit (-3) at Denver

Dave: Detroit - Let me first say I'm glad Tim Tebow is getting his shot. It's rare that you see a QB with such a profound college resume get any kind of hype from the national media. ESPN doesn't spend nearly enough time focusing on today's signal callers. If only the Worldwide Leader could spend just a little more time slurping Timmy Touchdown and less time on the World Series of Poker or Spelling Bees, I feel like people will finally get to know the REAL Tim Tebow. He's such a diamond in the rough. Sarcasm aside, Tebow is going to get the holy hell beat out of him(see what I did there?) by Ndomukong Suh and company. I'd like to root for Tim 3:16 because "Tebowing" is fun to do these days, but Denver's pass D is atrocious and they are playing a team whose only play is "Stafford chucks it deep to Calvin Johnson". Advantage: Motown. Lions by 14.

Gabe: Detroit - If he knows what’s good for him, Tim Tebow has been praying for some pass protection when he hits his stupid sideline pose because Mark Schlerth ain’t walking through that door. Tebow is big and strong, but Ndamukong Suh is bigger, stronger, and somewhat lacking in restraint. Oh, and let’s not forget that the Lions have a receiver that only Iron Man could cover. I think the Broncos are in for a long afternoon. Detroit wins easily.

New England (-2.5) at Pittsburgh

Dave: Pittsburgh - I'm going opposite here just for the sake of going opposite. Brady is 6-1 against the Steelers in his career, including the playoffs. He owns Big Ben like Gabe owns all of Black Thought's underground mixtapes. All of these experts picking Pittsburgh is only going to fuel Tom Brady to treat Roethlisberger like he treats groupies in a closed-off bathroom stall. So why am I taking Pittsburgh? Because this season is freaky enough that the experts(like myself) could be right about this one. The Patriots defense is terrible and, while the sudden jump from everyone back onto the Steeler bandwagon is foolish and ill-advised, I'm going with my gut on this one.

Gabe: New England - (Editorial note: Tom Brady is the starting QB for the West Virginia Stun Guns, my fantasy team.) It’s been said all week…Tom Brady carves the Steelers. New England knows how to pass on the Steelers. Spread the Steelers pass defense out and you can throw on them. I’m drinking the Kool-Aid. No one is better at spreading a defense out than Tom Brady. I bet he has one of those complete-a-pass-to-nine-different-receivers type of games that gets you a medal on Madden. Pats by a touchdown.

Jacksonville (+9.5) at Houston

Dave: Jacksonville - I'm not sure if Jacksonville is sneaky decent or Baltimore and Pittsburgh just took them lightly but they managed to beat the Ravens and keep things close against the Steelers. Why should I not believe they can't at least keep things within a touchdown against a choke-job champion like Houston missing their best receiver and best defender? Blaine Gabbert has excellent hair and, as someone with no hair, I can appreciate someone with sweet flowing locks. Jags shove Mo-Jo down Houston's throat and keep this one tighter than a 12-year old. Texans by 7.

Gabe: Houston - The Texans got on track last week against the Titans, even without All-World WR Andre Johnson. This week the toothless Jags come to town. I don’t think this game will be close. Houston needs to assert some dominance in this game, against a division foe, if they want to prove they are serious about winning the South. Houston by at least two touchdowns.

Cincinnati (-1) at Seattle

Dave: Cincinnati - I'd rather watch the entire series of "Homeboys In Outer Space" than a second of this game. Still, if forced to choose between ho-hum QB's, I'm going with the Ginger(because, no straight man should ever refer to another man as "The Red Rocket" as Andy Dalton has been called). Bengals are sneaky enough to pull this one out, so I'll say Orange Kitties by 7.

Gabe: Seattle - My irrational hatred of the Seahawks is well documented. That being said, Seattle has one of the loudest stadiums in all of the NFL. I don’t think the Bengals are up for the challenge. Seattle’s twelfth man is the difference. Seattle gets the outright win in a minor upset.

Washington (+4) at Buffalo (in Toronto)

Dave: Buffalo - The Redskins are out to prove they can suck in TWO countries. Later this year, they will campaign to play the Texans in Mexico City and the Giants in London so that their horrendous play can reach worldwide notoriety. Glad that John Beck move is working out for you, Shanny. Don't worry, Jason Campbell is available this summer. I'm sure Skins fans would love to have him back. Meanwhile, if you had Ryan Fitzpatrick in your "Obscure QB's who will get a lucrative extension" pool, it's time to collect. Bills by 10.

Gabe: Buffalo - This game is being played in America’s attic, but I would imagine it’s going to feel like a home game for the Bills. I don’t know though. What NFL team do Argonauts fans root for? Who cares. John Beck is going to have to show me something before I put any faith in the Skins. I think the Bills come away with a 7 point victory in the land of loonies, toonies, Alex Trebek, and caribou.

Cleveland (+9.5) at San Francisco

Dave: Niners - MADDEN CURSE NEVER FAILS! Niners by 13.

Gabe: San Fran - The Niners have had a bye week in between their Head Coach’s hand shaking incident. How will that affect them on the field? If nothing else that locker room is his now. As the cliché goes, those players will run through walls for him now. QB Alex Smith is showing signs of life, while his counter-part, Colt McCoy…ain’t. I’ll take a motivated Niners squad to win by two TD’s or more.

Dallas (+3) at Philadelphia

Dave: Philadelphia - Come on, son! Tony Romo on national television? When does that EVER work out for the Cowboys? Bree Olsen doesn't screw as many men on camera as Romo does when he has to lead his boys in front of a national audience. The Eagles are desperate. A loss here, combined with an inevitable Giants win, puts them three back in the East going into November. If there's one saving grace for Dallas, it's that DeMarco Murray will be following up his 253 yard performance from last week against an Eagles defense that can't stop a nose from running(Man, I am amazingly sharp when I get my eight hours of sleep). Eagles win in a back-and-forth as both teams try to give this one away. Eagles by 6.

Gabe: Dallas - Conventional wisdom says if you get to Mike Vick and punish him physically, he’ll play poorly. The same can be said about Tony Romo. This game comes down to race to the opposing QB, and I think the Cowboys will win that battle. If Dallas can get to Vick and score some points they can take that intense Philly crowd out of the game. Upset special? Sure why not. Although anything can happen in the NFC East. I’ll take Dallas to get the straight up win, by 6.

San Diego (-3) at Kansas City

Dave: Kansas City - We all remember the last time the Chargers played the Chiefs on Monday Night in Kansas City, don't we? Chiefs winning a wild one in a monsoon in Week 1 of last year en route to winning the West title(as I projected and Gabe scoffed at, mind you). Remember also that the Chiefs 3-game win streak came after they nearly beat San Diego on their home turf a month ago. The Chargers are playing like their typical underwhelming selves and KC can smell first place with a win here. I'm calling for another upset here and, on top of that, Jackie Battle goes for a buck and a score and Brandon Flowers takes one to the house. LOCK IT UP!

Gabe: San Diego - The Chiefs have cobbled together a decent record, but their wins have come against some pretty bad teams. The problem with San Diego is they have all the talent in the world but don’t use it. You know never know if they are going to live up to their potential in any given game. That’s probably because they have the NFL equivalent of Charlie Brown for a head coach in Norv Turner. I don’t think KC has enough to be SD, so I’ll take the Chargers to barely cover and win by 4.

Cut His Mic Off: Double Feature

"If he plays an SEC team, his stock will fall. I ain’t got nothing against him. He’s a Pac-12 guy. I’m not a Pac 12 fan at all, I’m an SEC guy. But if he ever plays against an SEC school, Alabama, LSU, that draft stock is going to fall. That will be one game they just don’t show the scouts."

-- Niners defensive lineman Ricky Jean Francois

A couple things you should know before going forward. Francois is referring to the unquestioned #1 pick of the 2012 NFL Draft and Heisman Trophy favorite, Stanford QB Andrew Luck. It should also be mentioned that Francois played his college ball at LSU, where he was a teammate of another QB who went #1 overall in JaMarcus Russell. In his three years in the NFL, Francois has notched a whopping 16, count 'em, 16 tackles in 22 games with one sack. That's not to say that Ricky's lack of production and current standing as a complete nobody somehow takes away any validity to his opinions. That's why I'm here, to offer the counter argument.

Dating back to 1989, when the Dallas Cowboys took a mullet-adorning ranch boy named Troy Aikman out of UCLA, the scoreboard in the battle of QB supremacy between the SEC and Pac-10 has the West Coast up big over their Southern counterparts. Granted, the SEC has the biggest name of that group in Colts QB Peyton Manning but beyond Peyton and his brother, Eli, the list for the SEC is pretty sketchy.

Matt Stafford(Georgia)? Injury-prone his first few years but starting to come on this season.
Tim Tebow(Florida)? Jury's still out.
Francois' teammate, JaMarcus Russell(LSU)? Biggest bust of this decade.
Jason Campbell(Auburn)? Meh....just replaced by a Pac-10 QB named Carson Palmer.
Tim Couch(Kentucky)? Bust.
Danny Wuerffel, Shane Matthews, Rex Grossman(Florida)? Garbage.
Cam Newton(Auburn)? Fine rookie year so far. We'll see what happens going forward.

Now, let's take a look at the guys who cut their teeth on the West Coast.

Troy Aikman(UCLA)? Three-time Super Bowl champ and Hall of Famer.
Drew Bledsoe(Washington State)? Multiple-time Pro Bowler
Aaron Rodgers(Cal)? Super Bowl champ, 2011 MVP favorite, arguably best QB in the NFL
Carson Palmer(USC)? Good start but fell off after blowing out his knee a few years ago.
Matt Leinart(USC)? Bust.
Mark Sanchez(USC)? Led Jets to the AFC Championship first two seasons but still unspectacular.
Ryan Leaf(Washington State)? Biggest bust in NFL history, though JaMarcus Russell is close.
Joey Harrington(Oregon)? Terrible pro QB, even worse bike rider.




Now, Francois' argument, technically, isn't that SEC QB's are better than Pac-10 QB's(nor should it be, because that argument is ridiculous). Francois is suggesting that Luck somehow would flounder playing in the tough SEC instead of the suddenly soft Pac-10(or Pac-12, as it's known now) but there is absolutely no way to make that case unless Luck's Cardinal square off against Francois' Tigers at some point this season. Luck chose Stanford for the same reasons any bright kid would choose Stanford: great education, good weather, up-and-coming football program. I don't think "avoiding Alabama every year" factored into the decision-making.

Furthermore, it's hard to say that guys who battle in the SEC show more merit than QB's who feast on Pac-10 defenses when your most recent examples are two unconventional option QB's(Tebow and Newton), a former #1 pick who's career is over after five years(Russell) and another who has yet to play a full season(Stafford). Russell cut his teeth against the SEC and, you know what, Ricky, it didn't help him any. He still sucked. Luck can only play the guys on his schedule and, so far, he's dominated every last one of them. I know that players know players but you're going to have to come up with a better way to elevate your journeyman status than trying to make headlines by throwing half-hearted jabs at "The Next Big Thing". We could be wrong about Luck. So could you. Until then, your mic is cut off.

"I don't tell nobody, but I feel like I can be better than Michael Jordan, When I'm done playing, I don't want people to say, Michael Jordan is the best player. I want that to be me. That's how I am. That's how I was built."

-- Washington Wizards guard Jordan Crawford

I'll admit that maybe this quote is getting a bit blown out of proportion. After all, every kid whoever laced up a pair of Nikes did so wanting to be like Mike(well, not me, I was more of a Magic Johnson kind of guy). And there's nothing wrong with a kid wanting to end his career as the best to ever do it. That's a great aspiration. However, if Crawford had the potential to be better than the greatest basketball player to ever live, then clearly the New Jersey Nets(who initially drafted him) and the Atlanta Hawks(who acquired him from NJ on Draft day before trading him midseason to Washington in the vaunted Mike Bibby-Kirk Hinrich trade) didn't see it. The Wizards don't seem to be too convinced either as Crawford currently sits behind Nick Young on the depth chart......you know, when pro basketball resumes and all. Perhaps the reason Crawford doesn't tell people he thinks he's better than Jordan is to avoid the cavalcade of bitch-slaps across the head he'd get from anyone in listening range, which is exactly what the reporter should have done after Crawford was finished speaking. To date, Crawford's biggest achievement was posterizing LeBron James at a basketball camp while Crawford was still a sophomore at Xavier.....and it wasn't even a full-fledged Vince-Carter-nuts-in-Fred-Weis'-face-type of posterizing. Hey, maybe Crawford is a late bloomer. It took Steve Nash a few years and a trade to Dallas to become the Steve Nash of today. Kobe needed a couple years before transforming into "The Black Mamba". Maybe we'll look back on this and eat our words.

Or maybe, and perhaps more likely, Crawford will join Harold Minor, J.R. Rider, Darius Miles, DerMarr Johnson and a slew of others on the Jordan Wannabe All-Star team. Don't get a sugar rush from drinking your own Kool-Aid, kid, and hand that mic over because it's now cut off.

Throwing It Out There

Last week, I mentioned in my Carson Palmer piece that, if I were Andy Reid, I would trade Mike Vick in a heartbeat if I could get a deal like what Cincy got from Oakland for Palmer. Somehow, those two or three lines grabbed more attention than the five paragraphs that bracketed it. The debate that ensued lead me to expand on my point even further(because, with the NBA dead in the water and the World Series almost over, what else is there to write about?)

Let me start off by saying I don't think the Eagles NEED to trade Michael Vick. This isn't like the Palmer-Bengals situation where you're dealing with big money tied into dead weight. However, the Raiders overpaying for Palmer sets a precedent. Before you read any further and go into hysteria thinking "Why would the Eagles ever trade Mike Vick!? You're crazy...blah blah blah", think about a few things.

First, take yourself back to when Jason Campbell is slammed to the ground and his collarbone snaps like the leg to a chair being sat on by Rosie O'Donnell. The Eagles just beat the Redskins to move to a disappointing 2-4 in what's supposed to be their Super Bowl year. The Raiders now need a QB. You're Andy Reid. If the Raiders call you up and say we'll give you first round picks in 2012 and 2013(or a conditional 2nd rounder that could end up being a 1st rounder in '13, as it stands now in the Palmer trade), would you say no? Hold that thought until we're finished here.

Second, if not for Jerome Harrison's brain tumor, Ronnie Brown(one of Reid's many free agent acquisitions this past offseason) would be a Detroit Lion. Vince Young(another one of Reid's pickups this summer) and Asante Samuel(a Reid signing from a few years ago) were also on the block. That tells you that Reid is conceding that the idea of signing a bunch of big names in hopes that the sum of all the talented parts equals a title is a failed theory(which is what I've been saying from the get-go). The Eagles are 2-4 with arguably the most talented roster on paper. That brings me to this:

The Eagles are 2-4 with Mike Vick on pace to throw for 4,000 yards and rush for another 1,000 and completing nearly 62% of his passes. Those two wins came against a horrid Rams team in Week 1 and a floundering Redskins team that nearly came back to win despite four Rex Grossman interceptions. Vick, the fastest QB in the history of the game, has been sacked eight times, has taken shots on almost every drop back, and has thrown nine interceptions to eight touchdowns while fumbling seven times and losing three. Given what we've seen from the Eagles thus far, could they not be just as disappointing had Mike Kafka started from Week 1 on? I'm not saying the Eagles underwhelming start is all Vick's fault, but if the man who was signed to a 6-year, $100 million deal to be this team's anchor is playing to the best of his abilities and the team is STILL 2-4, shouldn't you at least consider the idea of selling high?

My reasoning to deal Vick has been put into motion by both Philly's bad start and the blueprint laid by the Palmer deal, but there is also other factors. This could be Andy Reid's final season in Philly. If he somehow can't right the ship and overcome being two games behind in a shaky NFC East after all the hype this team received this offseason then there's no chance he returns next season. I thought Philly would be a flop, but I didn't think they'd be 2-4 and losing to teams like Buffalo and San Francisco. Vick, meanwhile, is 31 and signed into a deal that will pay him handsomely until he's 37. With the pounding Vick takes thanks to both his style of play and the offensive line's inability to keep defenses off of him, the chances of Vick surviving the length of that deal are slim to none. Vick's played a full season once in his career. In this season alone, he's been knocked out at some point of half the games he's played this season and we're only six games deep. The prospects of him missing time this year with the rate he's getting hit are better than the Eagles chances of making the playoffs. Vick was a great story last year, but all stories come to an end and this already looks like a brutal chapter.

Now, Vick getting traded this season isn't happening now that the deadline is over and, as entertaining as wondering what would be if Oakland chose Vick instead of Palmer is as a topic of debate, the fact remains that Oakland has chosen to align their fate with Carson Palmer(which may look like a even worse decision than Philly giving Vick a six-year deal and $40 million guaranteed). However, next season, Vick will be 32 in June and Reid could be amongst the many unemployed residents of "The City of Brotherly Love". Could someone roll the dice on Vick then and, if so, who?

You have to throw Miami and Indianapolis out because they are the front-runners for Andrew Luck and, if Indy were to lose out on the number one pick, they wouldn't tab a 32-year old QB to be the heir apparent to 36-year old Peyton Manning. Seattle will probably be in the running for the non-Andrew Luck group in the draft, and thus won't want to mortgage their future on a battered QB with no proven track record as a franchise guy. The best bet for all parties would be shipping Vick to a contender with a young QB to send back for Reid(or whomever to groom) if they don't like Kafka. A contender that could use an upgrade at QB will be more willing to deal for a veteran like Vick than make another attempt at hitting big on a rookie in the draft and, thus, will be more willing to cough up some picks in the middle-to-late of the first round. I searched the league for solid fits. Kansas City makes some sense since Vick is an upgrade over Matt Cassel and the West is weak enough that Vick could contend each year. Plus, Kansas City is a couple players away from being legitimately scary(once Eric Berry and Jamaal Charles come back healthy, of course) and Vick under the tutelage of Todd Haley and with a receiving core of Dwayne Bowe, Jon Baldwin and Steve Breaston could be interesting. It might also be too risky. Even though Kansas City is a win on Monday night against San Diego from a three-way tie for first, they are also another bad injury away from going into the tank, which means a high pick in the draft. In a draft this stocked, I'm not giving up a high pick this year for a 32-year old QB.

The other team didn't come to me until I watch last night's Ravens-Jaguars game. Have we seen anything out of Joe Flacco over the course of his short career to make us confident he's "The Guy" for the Ravens going forward? Has Jersey Joe done anything in big games to suggest he can lead this team to the Promised Land? Sure, he's gotten the Ravens deep in the playoffs a couple of times and he was stellar in the Week 1 beatdown of long-time bump in the road Pittsburgh, but the more I watch of Flacco, the more concerned I become that he'll end his career as "just another guy", a Bledsoe-type who puts up good numbers in garbage time but never does anything significant. The Ravens are a win-now team with Ray Lewis and Ed Reed in the twilight of their career.

If you want to say that Flacco's struggles lately can be attributed to offensive coordinator Cam Cameron, so be it. My retort would be who are you going to bring in to replace Cameron that will improve this offense leaps and bounds? Ray Rice doesn't seem to be struggling from Cameron's offense. With Flacco, I see a guy who holds the ball too long behind an offensive line with three Pro Bowlers(Bryant McKinnie, Andre Gurode, and Matt Birk) and emerging stars in Ben Grubbs, Marshall Yanda and Michael Oher and takes hits when he shouldn't. That flaw took Aaron Rodgers a year and a half to fix and Ben Roethlisberger still struggles with it but both of those guys have managed to have success and use their athletic gifts to make up for their posturing with the football when the pass rush comes. If you're a Ravens fan, would you really go crazy if Ozzie Newsome sent Flacco and this year's first rounder to Philly for Mike Vick? Are you really that confident that Flacco will improve in time to capitalize off having two Hall of Famers on defense and a team that's Super Bowl-ready RIGHT NOW?

Some of you will see "trade Vick to Baltimore" and be apoplectic. You'd be the same few who flipped when Reid dealt McNabb when everyone thought he had something left in the tank. It turns out McNabb didn't and Reid cut bait at the perfect time. This may be another one of those scenarios. Reid has struggled to find an offensive line that can protect Vick. In Baltimore, Vick wouldn't have that problem(although he will have to deal with Oher's chronic holding problem). As for Philly, Flacco could still be salvageable in the right hands. Again, if you're of the belief that Cameron is holding Flacco back then being under the guidance of someone like Marty Morninweg could be beneficial to a 26-year old QB.

As I said in the Palmer piece, two-first round picks could get you a lot in the NFL, as could dangling a still-promising QB with one of those picks. I'm not convinced that Flacco is the guy in Baltimore and the Ravens are taking a huge risk with an aging defense by rolling the dice that he eventually will be their Big Ben. If you're going to roll the dice, why not do it upgrading the one flaw in your armor. The Eagles don't HAVE to trade Mike Vick, but if someone were to call with a good offer, how could they really say no?

Week 7 Picks

Last week, the dynamic duo's picks were much like Rajon Rondo's game: We nailed the easy lay-ups(Ravens over Texans, Jets over Dolphins), and missed some we should have made(Redskins-Eagles, Falcons-Panthers) and clanked on shots with any degree of difficulty(Lions-Niners). This season has also seen more ties than Digger Phelps' closet, as last week's two brings the total to seven on the season. We had six all of last season. Week 6 was pretty dreadful for both of the guys, but Dave managed to increase his lead by one.

Anyway, we're scrapping the avatar this week because it's difficult to find any picture of Dave that doesn't look like a mugshot or a picture of Gabe that doesn't look like an adult picture of Elian Gonzalez expressing his jubilation with being in America. Here's our best attempt at Week 7's games.

LAST WEEK

Dave: 4-7-2

Gabe: 3-8-2

SEASON

Dave: 43-40-7

Gabe: 33-50-7

Seahawks (+2.5) at Browns

Dave: Browns - Here's a real stinkbomb to lead off with. Peyton Hillis is sitting this one out with a bad hammy as The Madden Curse continues it's DiMaggio-like streak of biting cover boys in the ass. My money is on Monterio Hardesty, Hillis' backup, Wally Pipp-ing this generation's Mike Alstott as GM Mike Holmgren will do everything in his power to squash his old mates. Chaz Whitehurst is getting the start for Seattle so, by halftime, you should be able to hear the sound of tiny children in Malaysia stitching together a Matt Barkley Seahawks jersey. Browns by 10.

Gabe: Cleveland – I think Seattle’s big win against the Giants was an anomaly. I think they stink. Cleveland has a better than decent offense. Also, I have to start Colt McCoy in my fantasy league today because Tom Brady is on a bye, so I need them to play well. Cleveland by 4.

Falcons (+4.5) at Lions

Dave: Lions - The Lions' streak of drafting RBs who can't stay healthy continues as the team has went from Kevin Jones to Kevin Smith to Jahvid Best in the span of the last half decade. Best is out for this one with his third concussion and journeyman Maurice Morris gets the nod. That might not make too much of a difference since Detroit's strategy on offense is pretty much have Matt Stafford chuck it up to "Megatron", Calvin Johnson. Atlanta's secondary isn't going to be able to handle that and the Falcons' swiss-cheese offensive line isn't going to be able to hold off Ndomukong Suh and company. I think Detroit's fired up after last week's L and they take it out on the Dirty Birds. Lions by 13.

Gabe: Detroit – Last week the Lions suffered their first loss of the season, but that story was overshadowed by the coach’s handshake sissy fight at the end of the game. If nothing else, players like seeing that kind of fire. These players will play their asses off for Jim Schwartz now. I feel bad for Atlanta, but I think Detroit wins by at least a touchdown.

Texans (+3.5) at Titans

Dave: Texans - I'm rolling the dice here because something tells me the perennially-soft Texans saw Andre Johnson and Mario Williams go down and immediately decided to go in the tank. Still, the Titans are banged up as well and we're still hoping to locate Chris Johnson's body after the Brinks truck was backed up on it. I think this game comes down to a field goal in the final seconds and, given Houston's nature of choking late in games, I'll say the Titans win by 3.

Gabe: Tennessee – Houston is reeling and swooning as they do every season. They were embarrassed by The Ravens last week and I think they’ll be suffering a hangover from that game. The Titans can do a few things on offense and I think they’ll do just enough to win. Tennessee by 6.

Broncos (-1) at Dolphins

Dave: Broncos - A tale of two quarterbacks here. For Denver, Timmy Touchdown gets his first start of 2011 in the state where he became the second coming: Florida. For Miami, why would you possibly put up a fight here when you're the favorites in the Andrew Luck Sweepstakes right now? The Dolphins' D is better than you think, so any ideas of Tebow going nuts in his homecoming need to squashed right about now, but the Dolphins are slightly more dreadful than the Broncos, so I'll give the nod to Denver by 6.

Gabe:Denver – Of all of the teams in the ‘Suck for Luck’ sweepstakes, Miami is the team that should keep losing to make sure they get luck. Outside of his normal playing for Jesus,Tim Tebow is going to have an extra bit of motivation because he is returning to Florida. I’ll take the Broncos to win by a field goal.

Chargers (+1) at Jets

Dave: Jets - What are the chances that the Jets are force-feeding LaDainian Tomlinson steroids like the Russians did to Drago in Rocky IV to get L.T. amped up to destroy his old team today? I'm saying 50-50. On a more important note, I love a bombastic personality as much as anyone because, Lord knows, I'm no stranger to running my mouth, but Rex Ryan needs to agree to shut the hell up until he gets a Super Bowl ring. Enough's enough already. You guaranteed two Super Bowls already. You failed. You tried to goat Bill Belichick into a back-and-forth a couple weeks ago and he whooped you on the field where it matters. Now, you're arguing with Norv Turner, who should have been fired 100 times over? Please, Rex, fall back. Go sniff your wife's shoes or something or try to find some other way to get this group over the hump. This may be the worst Jets team in the Ryan era, but I'm giving them the edge because this might also be the worst Chargers team of the Turner era and L.T. is gonna come out spitting fire. Jets by 7.

Gabe: San Diego – San Diego has somehow avoided their typical slow start. Also, teams from the West Coast aren’t losing East Coast games at nearly the same rate as they usually do. The Jets somehow still don’t have an identity and the Chargers simply have too many weapons on offense. I’ll take SD for the outright in a minor upset.

Bears (-1) vs. Bucs (in London)

Dave: Bucs - I'm going with Tampa here because I think they'll lose. Huh, you say? When I expect the Bucs to win, they get blown out by San Francisco. When I expect them to lose, they beat New Orleans and break their coach's leg. I can't figure out these Bucs so I'm playing reverse psychology with myself here. As for the Bears, their new adjustments to the blocking scheme worked last week against piddly Minnesota and will work this week against a Bucs team with no pass rush, but Jay Cutler will still find a way to throw a pick or two Aqib Talib's way. So I'll take Tampa in yet another ugly game overseas.

Gabe: Tampa Bay – I think this is going to be a great game between two teams with tons of potential. Perhaps Raheem Morris will know not to kick to Devin Hester. If Hester gets his hands on the ball it will make a difference in the result of the game. But I think Morris will pistol-whip his kicker and punter if they kick to Hester. Tampa Bay wins a close one at home, by 4.

Redskins (+1) at Panthers

Dave: Panthers - Rex Grossman deserved to be benched after single-handedly taking Washington out of that Philly game last week but I refuse to believe John Beck is the answer for the 'Skins. Given the shuffling of RBs and QBs, I think Mike Shanahan is still trying to figure out what he has after a year and a half. Meanwhile, Cam Newton is due for a win and I think it comes here against a slipping Redskins team. Panthers by 6.

Gabe: Carolina – I would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone of an answer to an interview question once given by Cam Newton. Basically, he was asked why he thought he would be successful in the NFL he said, and I’m paraphrasing, “I’m 6’5”, 245 pounds, and I run the 40 in 4.7 seconds. They don’t build players like me.” Greatest answer ever. What does that have to do with the game? Not a fucking thing other than he is backing up his words. Carolina gets a one touchdown win and Redskins fans get to see what having a good young QB under center is like.

Packers (-9.5) at Vikings

Dave: Packers - The Christian Ponder era has finally started. It's only about two weeks overdue, but at least it happened. The problem is, it starts against the defending Super Bowl champs who are firing on all cylinders right now. If Jay Cutler picked this Vikings team apart last week, I can only imagine what Aaron Rodgers will do here. I'm still not convinced just yet my boys repeat because I'd like to see more of a pass rush beyond Clay Matthews but they have more than enough to stomp Minny on the road. Packers by 14.

Gabe: Green Bay – Christian Ponder, meet Mr. Clay “Mama There Go That Man Again” Matthews. Enough said. The champs win going away, by at least 14.

Chiefs (+3.5) at Raiders

Dave: Chiefs - A couple things to consider here before turning your nose up at this pick. 1. The Chiefs are coming off a bye having won two straight and narrowly winning a third a month ago against San Diego. 2. The Raiders will be trotting out Kyle Boller and maybe even Terrelle Pryor at QB. 3. Sebastian Janikowski is out. Yes, Oakland hasn't lost a division game in nearly two years. Yes, they are playing with the spirit of Al Davis. Yes, they have the NFL's leading rusher in Run DMC against one of the worst run D's in the NFL. No, I'm not worried about any of that. Boller is dreadful enough to keep this game close or even lose it for the Raiders, so I'll take KC for the upset.

Gabe: Oakland – Kansas City sucks. This is a rivalry game in Oakland and I took the Raiders in my Eliminator challenges. Done and done. Raiders by a touchdown.

Steelers (-3.5) at Cardinals

Dave: Steelers - Pittsburgh proved last week why I'm not buying all the "The Steelers are back!" talk that the hype machine is trying to spit out. They should have crushed a shitty Jags team and instead let them come back and keep it close in the second half. This week, in a week of Super Bowl rematches, they get Arizona's horrid defense. On paper, you'd like to think that this will be a 48-7 blowout but I'm betting on this being more along the lines of 28-20 Pittsburgh. Steelers still cover against a bad Cardinals team though.

Gabe: Arizona – I’m making this pick on a hunch. Pittsburgh has gotten a couple of big wins recently, but now they have to travel and take this old team all the way across the country. Also, Cardinals Head Coach Ken Whisenhunt is more than somewhat familiar with the Steelers’ personnel. The Cards have some nice weapons on offense and I think they pull out the straight up win. Upset Special? Eh, why not.

Rams (+13.5) at Cowboys

Dave: Cowboys - Same rules apply for Dallas as in the Steelers-Cardinals game. There's no reason Dallas shouldn't blow out a Rams team starting A.J. Feeley at QB, but the Cowboys are dreadful enough on defense to make new acquisition Brandon Lloyd look like Randy Moss. I still think Dallas covers the two touchdown spread but what should be a complete curb-stomping will probably be another exhibit in Tony Romo's file as to why he's not an elite QB. Cowboys by 17. Romo throws two picks.

Gabe:St. Louis – This is simple…it’s too many points. The Cowboys should roll in this game, but they won’t. They’ll win, but it will be closer than it needs to be. Boys by 10 or less.

Colts (+14.5) at Saints

Dave: Colts - The spread might be a bit too high for me. The Saints' D isn't as good as I thought they'd be by now and, eventhough Curtis Painter notoriously folds under pressure and is facing a D that blitzes almost every down, I think Indy keeps it just under two touchdowns here. New Orleans doesn't have the run game to kill clock late in games and Painter might exploit one of those blitzes and hit Pierre Garcon deep. I'll go New Orleans by 13 in a game I won't bother watching.

Gabe: New Orleans – The Colts play with a lot of pride. Unfortunately, pride don’t score touchdowns. The New Orleans offense will go off at home. Saints by 17.

Ravens (-9.5) at Jaguars

Dave: Ravens - Baltimore might be the best team you're not talking about right now. Go ahead and build up Green Bay. Go ahead and continue to slurp New England and Pittsburgh. Keep freaking out over San Francisco and Detroit. As a Packers fan, Baltimore is the only team that scares me in the NFL and they'll show you why Monday night. Unlike Pittsburgh, Baltimore isn't afraid to keep the boot over an opponent's neck. They are going to jam Ray Rice down Jacksonville's throat and Ray Lewis and company are going to make Blaine Gabbert's national TV debut a living nightmare. If you're looking for the blueprint of smashmouth football, tune in Monday night.....but put it on mute since Jon Gruden isn't going anywhere for the next five years. Ravens by 20.

Gabe: Baltimore – This line could be Baltimore minus 20. Jacksonville is going to be absolutely embarrassed. This Baltimore defense humbled the Texans’ (albeit Andre Johnson-less) offense. They are going to eat the Jags alive. Ravens by 21.

The Carson Show

When this NFL season comes to the close, the MVP will probably go to someone named Brady or Rodgers or maybe even Stafford. But the big winner of the 2011 NFL season, barring some unforeseen miracle, is Carson Palmer. In the history of pro football(and even all of sports, for that matter), the "I'm going to retire if I don't get what I want" ploy has failed miserably almost every time. Brett Favre "retired" in 2007(because he said he felt pressured into making a decision by the front office) then un-retired, then had to arrive at training camp and make an awkward fiasco at training camp, organize a trade to the Jets, then pull the same shenanigans in New York to get what he ultimately wanted: a spot on Minnesota's roster so that he could show the Packers what they're missing.

Chad Ochocinco tried using the same strategy to get himself out of Cincinnati and, even after the Bengals were allegedly offered a Godfather deal of two first round picks from Washington, it still took him having to nosedive his career for three more years to get the Bengals to trade him. It took Palmer all of eight months to get out of the Charmed City. And not only did he get out of Dodge, he was able to be shipped back home to California to start on an up-and-coming potential playoff team that plays in one of the worst divisions in football. No more Ravens. No more Steelers. Goodbye, Ray Lewis and Troy Polamalu. Hello, Andy Studebaker and Shaun Phillips. Palmer got what he wanted because, unlike Ocho and Favre and those before him, he remained quiet and vigilant and patiently waited for opportunity to come knocking. That opportunity knocked as soon as Jason Campbell's collarbone snapped and David Garrard's back suddenly needed surgery. Many QB's will throw for more yards and touchdowns than Carson Palmer, but none of them can say they went from starting the season on their couch to being one of the 12 starting QB's in the playoffs(assuming Palmer's presence doesn't completely submarine Oakland's playoff hopes). Much like he's done his entire career, Palmer stood in the pocket, waited for the best chance while the pressure was coming, and found a way to score big.

Now, Palmer may be the big winner, but his new squad ultimately are the big losers in this blockbuster trade. Palmer hadn't thrown a pass since early January and the Raiders still saw fit to trade, not one, but two first-round picks for a guy who hasn't been to the Pro Bowl since 2006 and has been above average at best ever since. Two first-round picks can get you a lot in the NFL, including someone a hell of a lot better than Carson Palmer. Maybe it doesn't get you a franchise QB(because teams with a franchise QB already in place aren't going to take the risk of going back to the drawing board by dealing their signal caller midseason for a couple of unknown picks. Although, if I was Andy Reid, and I could get out of Mike Vick's albatross contract and score two first round picks for a guy who may have been a one-year wonder, I'd do that trade in a heartbeat.), but teams have given up higher quality players for much less. Trading this year's first rounder looks even more ridiculous when you consider Oakland already used two other picks in this draft to secure two other QB's. Last April, they traded this year's fourth for Jason Campbell. Then, they used this year's third round pick in the supplemental draft to bring in wayward Buckeye Terrelle Pryor. Now, we'll never fully know how those two trades would have benefited the Raiders because both men's progress is stunted by the presence of Oakland's new golden boy. I understand that Oakland needed someone competent to keep them afloat and the possibility of 10 weeks of Kyle Boller or Todd Bouman as your starting QB is scary for any team with legit playoff aspirations, but the Bengals took the Raiders' desperation and completely suckered them. Unless Palmer plays the rest of his career like his Heisman-winning senior season at USC, the Raiders got the short end of this deal.

If there's one bright side for Oakland, though, it's that they traded two first round picks......to the Bengals. With the exception of this season(when the Bengals look to have a real find in potential ROTY A.J. Green), the Bengals have stunk up the first round for the better part of the last decade. Here's a re-cap of the Bengals' first-round picks since 2000 to help make my point.

2000: 4th overall, WR Peter Warrick(currently out of the NFL but was a bust beforehand)

2001: 4th overall, DE Justin Smith(decent pass-rusher, currently with San Francisco)

2002: 10th overall, OT Levi Jones(out of the NFL. Guys taken after him? Albert Haynesworth and Ed Reed)

2003: 1st overall, QB Carson Palmer(two-time Pro Bowler, now a Raider)

2004: 26th overall, RB Chris Perry (huge bust, out of the NFL)

2005: 17th overall, DE/LB Dave Pollack(career ended early by neck injury, currently host of the Palmer and Pollack Show on ESPN, which is harder to watch than his pro career.)

2006: 24th overall, CB Jonathan Joesph (decent cover corner, left Bengals to sign with Texans)

2007: 18th overall, CB Leon Hall (another decent corner, but not Pro Bowl caliber)

2008: 8th overall, LB Keith Rivers(oft-injured tackling machine, taken ahead of guys like Jerod Mayo and Chris Johnson)

2009: 6th overall, OT Andre Smith(has bust written all over his routinely out-of-shape body)

2010: 21st overall, TE Jermaine Gresham(emerging young TE)

10 first round picks, only one of which made the Pro Bowl(Palmer). Four of the 10 are out of the NFL already. Three of the 10, including Palmer, make their living elsewhere. If you were going to put two future first round picks in anyone's hands and not worry about it coming back to bite you, those hands would belong to Mike Brown. Yes, Brown looks like he's hit on A.J. Green and Palmer's successor, Andy Dalton, but the jury is still out on them. Charles Rogers had a decent start to his rookie season, too, and he's working drive-thru at Hardee's right now.

In essence, this is why Palmer emerges from this whole ordeal victorious. In a trade in which one team gave up too many draft picks to a team that can't draft to save its life, the only person to actually better themselves was Palmer. He fought a system that had a record of Goldberg proportions and won. Will he succeed in Oakland? That remains to be seen. Right now, he has the running game in Darren McFadden he hadn't had since the Rudi Johnson days in Cincinatti. He has a young and blossoming receiving core from Jacoby Ford to Denarius Moore to even overpaid Darrius Heyward-Bey, and his offensive line, while not stellar, is an upgrade compared to the patchwork unit he had with the Bengals. With the first-place Chargers having to travel across the country to play the Jets and Palmer possibly getting his first start against the lowly Chiefs this Sunday, Palmer could be sitting atop the AFC West by this time next week.

In the matter of one quick hard takedown to the ground, Carson Palmer managed to get everything he never openly asked for. He's out of Cincinnati and into a new change of scenery. Time will tell, however, whether he should have been careful what he quietly wished for. For now, Palmer starts the season 1-0.

Week 6 Picks

Last week, Dave got cute with his picks which helped push his lead over Gabe four more games. That brings Il Padrone's magic number to nine games over Pitbull Jr on the season. As we've seen in years past, that's not exactly an insurmountable lead.

On to the Week 6 picks......

LAST WEEK

Dave: 7-6
Gabe: 3-10

SEASON

Dave: 39-33-5
Gabe: 30-42-5

VS.

Panthers (+4) at Falcons

Dave: Panthers - I went back and forth on this for a while. Given what I've seen from both teams so far, I can't really see how the Falcons piss-poor D contains Cam Newton(which is something I wasn't expecting to be saying in Week 6 of Cam-Cam's rookie year) and Julio Jones being out means the Panthers secondary and hone in an already hobbled Roddy White. The Eagles are the season's biggest disappointment, without question, but the Falcons aren't that far behind and, while losses at the Georgia Dome are rare for Atlanta(unless you're the Packers), I'm calling for Carolina to pull off the upset or, at the very least, keep it close(How's that for a run-on sentence, English teachers!?).

Gabe: Panthers - Julio Jones is out, so like Dave said, the Panthers are going to be able to hone in on the other weapons the Falcons have. I'm not sure the Panthers win either, but Cam Newton has a way of keeping things close. A late field goal one way or the other decides the game.

Rams (+14.5) at Packers

Dave: Rams - Packers coach Mike McCarthy made it a point for this Packers team to remember a moment from 2009 when it faced a winless team coming off a bye. That team was woefully bad Tampa Bay Bucs and they pulled off the upset of Green Bay at The New Sombrero. These '11 Rams are better than those '09 Bucs(I think). I'm not saying St. Louis is going to beat the champs in Lambeau, but with Green Bay missing both starting offensive tackles against a Rams team with a good pass rush, I think Green Bay keeps the W under two touchdowns. Packers by 13.

Gabe: Packers - The Rams do have a good pass rush, but Aaron Rodgers employs the perfect combination of mobility, quick release, and good decision making. The Packers offense is so in sync right now it's scary. I think they open up a can and win by 17.

Colts (+6.5) at Bengals

Dave: Bengals - A win here makes Cincy the worst 4-2 team in the history of the NFL, but I see nothing out of this Colts team that doesn't scream out "Suck for Luck". This game is going to be harder to watch than a Whoopi Goldberg sex tape, but I think the Bengals D batters the Colts around and Andy Dalton finds A.J Green for a couple of scores. Bengals by 10.

Gabe: Colts - Here it is...the game I wouldn't watch if it were being played in my driveway. This game is going to be hideous. I don't think the Colts are going to win, but no way the Bengals win by 7. This will be a field goal either way.

Niners (+2.5) at Lions

Dave: Lions - Who would have thought this would be the Game of the Week? After last week's trouncing of the Bucs, I'm thinking maybe(just maybe) San Francisco isn't some flash in the pan. They play good enough defense and the offense, while not spectacular, does just enough thanks to the improvements made by head coach Jim Harbaugh. Still, I have a hard time talking myself into a scenario where Alex Smith walks into Motown and is able to tame the Lions in front of a deafening crowd at Ford Field. I have an even harder time picturing Carlos Rogers stopping Calvin Johnson. The Niners have true upset potential here but I just don't see their offense stacking up with Detroit's. The Lions: 6-0? The world must really be ending soon. Lions by 6.

Gabe: Lions - The Niners showed something last week, but I don't see them being able to stop the Lions offense at all. It sounds funny, but I predict the Lions will be 6-0 by the end of today and somewhere Barry Sanders will shed a single tear. Lions by 7.

Bills (+3) at Giants

Dave: Bills - Not since the Kim Kardashian-Ray J tape have I see a suck job quite like the one performed by Gabe's Jints last week against Seattle. It's like Eli Manning grows more and more uncomfortable with the idea of Tony Romo being more overrated than him and finds a way to be absolutely atrocious in games he should dominate. The Bills are the better team here and are only getting points because they are on the road, but anyone who has been to the new Giants Stadium can tell you that the new digs are hardly a huge home advantage for Big Blue. I think Ryan Fitzpatrick carves up New York while Eli Manning makes at least four or five boneheaded throws that causes drunk New Yorkers to boo him like he's Pedro Martinez. Bills by 6.

Gabe: Giants - Both of these teams are a mystery and anyone who picked the Giants to win last week (yours truly included) should have known not to trust them when they are a double digit favorite. That being said, who knows how this game is going to go. I'll take the Giants because they are at home and need to redeem themselves.

Jaguars (+13) at Steelers

Dave: Steelers - David Garrard must count his blessings every day for being spared the horror of having to quarterback this Jaguars team. Outside of MoJo D and Blaine Gabbert's hair, this team is one huge steaming pile of cow excrement. I'm not willing to admit I'm wrong on Pittsburgh even with them stomping out Tennessee last week. Granted, Pittsburgh will stomp out Jacksonville today and everyone will jump back on the bandwagon but I still think this team is worse than it's soon-to-be 4-2 record(I mean, Cincy's 4-2, too, and they're putrid). I'm calling shutout here as Ben throws for another handful of scores. Steelers by 20.

Gabe: Steelers - The Jaguars best work this season was MoJo D appearing in Ruxin's Shiva Bowl Shuffle video on The League. They stink. The Steelers are going to roll.

Eagles (-2.5) at Redskins

Dave: Redskins - I think oddsmakers fuel my dislike for the Eagles. What exactly have we seen from Philly this season to make us think they should be favored on the road against a better-than-expected Redskins team? They can't stop the run and they're playing a team whose coach made household names out of bums like Olandis Gary and Mike Anderson. The blueprint to beat Philly has been laid out. Knock around Mike Vick, and offset their talented secondary by relying on running the ball down the throats of a meager front seven. I don't know whether Washington is good or not and we all saw what happened the last time these two met in this building, but this is a different Eagles team than the one that throttled the 'Skins last year in D.C. By different, I mean crappier. I'm taking the home team here. 'Skins by 6.

Gabe: Redskins - I can't understand why Philly is a favorite in this game. The Eagles can't beat a cold, much less a division opponent on the road. The formula has been established...batter Vick until they have bring in Kafka and have a warm body tote the rock. Washington will have no problem doing that. Redskins by at least a touchdown.

Browns (+7) at Raiders

Dave: Raiders - The Browns' sleeper buzz quiets to a whisper with every passing week. Colt McCoy hasn't proven to be the goods in his second year and this team is STILL looking for a dependable option on offense beyond Peyton Hillis. The Raiders, meanwhile, are playing with the spirit of Al Davis(which willed them to a W over notorious fourth-quarter choke artist Houston last week) and I think they'll hit Cleveland with a heavy dose of Run DMC in front of the home crowd. Just win, baby. Raiders by 10.

Gabe: Raiders - The Raiders are tough and are playing lights out right now. Cleveland seems to be spinning their wheels, as they always do. I'll take the Raiders at by home by 9.

Texans (+7) at Ravens

Dave: Ravens - That sound you hear is the air coming out of Houston's tires. With Mario Williams out for the season and Andre Johnson to miss a couple more weeks, the Texans are going to lose quite a bit of ground to Tennessee for the South crown. Those two losses are especially going to hurt this week against a Ravens team coming off a bye(which means they get Lee Evans a little bit healthier and rookie Torrey Smith a bit more acquainted with the offense) and have added a deep passing game to complement it's all-Ray Rice-all-the-time primary option. Matt Schaub looks confused without his top target out there and now he'll be confused and beat up after the Ravens D gets in his face. Ravens by 14.

Gabe: Ravens - Houston is minus their best player on both sides of the ball. The WR tandem of Kevin Walter and Jacoby Jones wouldn't scare the University of Maryland, much less the Ravens. I think the Ravens' D clamps down on Houston and perhaps scores a TD of their own. The Texans would have to show some real mental toughness to win this game. That ain't happenin'. Ravens by 10.

Cowboys (+6.5) at Patriots

Dave: Patriots - Very easy call here. Tom Brady vs. one of the worst secondaries in the NFL? Where do I sign up for that action? I see Brady to Welker happening early and often, but there are a couple of plusses for Cowboys fans. One, you get Miles Austin back. Two, the Pats have no pass rush, so you don't have to worry about blaming the offensive line when Tony Romo throws another barrage of back-breaking interceptions. Patriots win this one going away while I try to figure out how a team that plays its home games on the East Coast in Boston gets the luxury of 4 p.m. starts every week. Pats by 17.

Gabe: Patriots - If I hadn't taken the Pats last week in my two 'Eliminator' challenges I'd give them a serious look this week. (Sorry to the 60% of entrants who chose my Giants. It's called fading the public.) The Cowboys won't have to worry about throwing the ball when they have a 20+ lead this week. The Pats had a tough time last week, but Tom Terrific will carve the Cowboys' secondary. Patriots by 9.

Saints (-6) at Bucs

Dave: Saints - Words can't describe how bad these Bucs played last week so I won't even try to use any. Making matters worse for Josh Freeman and company is having to go from being torched by Alex Smith to being torched by Drew Brees. Maybe a soft Saints D helps J-Fresh get off the snide here but I can't help but see the Saints go marching into Tampa and winning by double digits. Saints by 13.

Gabe: Saints - There is that old cliched sports idea of the hangover. The Bucs lost this game last week. Drew Brees and the Saints offense are going to lose their collective mind on the Bucs. This game does have the potential to become a shoot-out, but I'll take Drew Brees to nail it down late. Saints by 9.

Vikings (+3) at Bears

Dave: Bears - After a string of entertaining Sunday night games, I'm going out on a limb here and say this one will not follow suit. In one corner, you have washed up California Raisin Donovan McNabb. In the other, you have Sgt. Sulk Jay Cutler. Beyond a few Adrian Peterson runs, how will this be worth watching? I think we see a lot of the Jared Allen "rodeo cowboy" dance after he sacks Jay Cutler on nearly every play. I think we see another Devin Hester punt return TD because Leslie Frazier strikes me as someone dumb enough to kick to him, and I think we'll all change the channel after the smoking-hot Faith Hill intro. Bears by 9.

Gabe: Vikings - Dave kind of made my case for me. Jared Allen gets to Jay Cutler. A.P. gets nice. I say they kick away from Hester. That means Matt Forte is going to have to beat the Vikes. I don't see that happening. Minny by a touchdown in a slight upset.

Dolphins (+7.5) at Jets

Dave: Jets - Another Monday Night snoozefest. Here I am, thinking that Jon Gruden made watching football on Monday nights intolerable. Now, we get the dreadfulness of Jon Gruden's obvious insights and stupid jokes combined with some bad matchups. Who did YOU piss off in the league offices, ESPN? Here's all you need to know about how bad the Dolphins are: David Garrard, unemployed since late August, was called to see if he'd like to come in to QB for the Dolphins after Chad Henne went down and Garrard said "Thanks, but no thanks." This is a man who spent the last few years on a horrid Jags team and he pretty much said "I'd rather sit on my recliner, eating Hagen Daz ice cream and ballooning up like Oliver Miller, then play for your lowly franchise". Matt Moore gets the start but the Jets dominate here. Jets by 17.

Gabe: Jets - Miami is terrible and I don't think Rex is going to let his boys lose two division games in a row, especially at home on Monday night. I think the Jets embarrass the 'Phins. Jets by at least 10.

NFL Picks Week 5

The good news? The boys were both above .500 last week with identical 9-7 records.

The bad news? Being one game over .500 is enough to say one had a good week.

The other bad news? This means Father Guido Sarducci is still up five games in the season series.

Week 4:

Dave: 9-7

Gabe: 9-7

Season:

Dave: 32-27-5

Gabe: 27-32-5

We have the first byes of the season this week, so on to Week 5!

New Orleans (-6.5) at Carolina

Dave: Carolina - Without question, the Saints are going to win this one but Cam Newton has shown the tendency to ruin sure-fire covers for the favorite with junk time scores. The Saints D gives up plenty of yardage and Cam-Cam, even with a receiving core that doesn't go beyond Steve Smith and Greg Olsen, is going to narrow whatever big-time gap Drew Brees and company lays on them after the first three quarters. I say this one is closer than we think. Saints by 4.

Gabe: New Orleans - Panthers QB Cam Newton has silenced critics in many ways. The one thing its seems he can't do is close the deal and win games. The real problem for the Panthers is they have zero run defense. Drew Brees is going to get an early lead and they the Saints will just pound the rock. There is a small chance this turns into a shootout, but I think the Saints win by 10.

Cincinnati (-1) at Jacksonville

Dave: Jacksonville - I'm going to regret this pick by 2:30 today, but the Bengals have a knack for winning the games they shouldn't(Cleveland to open the season, last week against Buffalo) and losing the games they should be winning(They had that Niners game). So, yes, Cincy SHOULD blow the doors off an inept Jags squad but I see flashes in rookie QB Blaine Gabbert. Not quite Cam Newton flashes of brilliance, but flashes of decency. I'm going with a wild hunch here and picking Jacksonville for the kinda-sorta upset.

Gabe: Cincinnati - The Bengals have quietly put together a decent defense, especially passing defense. I don't put too much stock in them beating Buffalo last week, mostly because I think each team's record going into that game was a bit of a fluke. That being said, for Jacksonville, Mark Brunell ain't walkin' through that door. Cincy by a touchdown.

Tennessee (+3.5) at Pittsburgh

Dave: Tennessee - The Titans made me look foolish in Week 1 when I picked them to win the AFC South but have rallied back nicely by winning three straight including a W against a Ravens team who, as a Packers fan, is the only team that scares me this season. Kenny Britt is gone and Chris Johnson must have let the Brinks truck that the Titans backed up for him run over his legs but they are still in better shape than the Steelers. All-Pro LB James Harrison All-American Idiot Rashard Mendenhall will be out for this game and Big Ben is hobbled by a bum foot. The Titans weren't going to be able to run the ball even if CJ2K wasn't mailing this season in but I think Matt Hasselbeck still puts up numbers here while the Titans D punishes Ben and that woeful O-line. Titans by 10.

Gabe: Tennessee - I'm going to take a little flyer here. Pittsburgh has gotten geriatric on defense, and that was before James Harrison broke, as one of my Steelers fan co-workers so eloquently put it, "his fuckin' eye-bone." They couldn't stop Houston when the Texans were Andre Johnson-less for three quarters. Tennessee's offense is kind of solid, led by veteran QB Matt Hasselbeck. I'll take Tennessee to win by a point, in a small upset.

Oakland (+5) at Houston

Dave: Oakland - I was all-in on Houston until Al Davis died yesterday. This will be an emotional game for the Raiders, who will feel compelled to win one for The Gipper here and really are better than people think anyway. We haven't seen what this Texans offense will be like without Andre Johnson but the thought is they'll struggle to put up big numbers without one of the best WRs in the game. I guess, technically, you could call this game an upset but I think we'll see going forward that these two teams are surprisingly even. Raiders by 6.

Gabe: Houston - The death of Al Davis yesterday makes this game really tough to pick. Who knows how the Raiders team is going to react. The Texans will be missing Andre Johnson. You can't replace the production of the most talented receiver in the league, but the Texans do have a lot of fire power aside from Johnson. I don't see the Raiders rising up and I think the Texans do just enough to cover. Houston by 6.

Arizona (+3) at Minnesota

Dave: Arizona - I'd rather room with Amanda Knox than try to analyze this game. As I said last week, Donovan McNabb is finished. His career has less life than Steve Jobs(too soon?). There is no better time for Minnesota to see what they have in Christian Ponder than this week against a 26th-ranked Cardinals pass D that let Cam Newton put up Madden numbers in Week 1. Jared Allen will put pressure on Kevin Kolb and keep this lead from getting out of hand but, even if Minny can go up big, they can't sustain a lead to save its life. Cards by 7.

Gabe: Arizona - No explanation needed.

N.Y. Jets (+7.5) at New England

Dave: New England - The Patriots' D gives up a ton of yards and, going forward, that will be the Achilles' heel that keeps them out of Indy for the Super Bowl. But the Jets' offense is so anemic, even with All-Pro center Nick Mangold possibly coming back, that they won't be able to exploit that shoddy New England D. There may be some tarnish on that illustrious specter of Bill Belichick but I think he's dying to shut Rex Ryan up. Mark Sanchez is still a bit beat up from getting Goldberg-speared(yes, a wrestling reference) by Haloti Ngata last week and the vaunted Jets run game was last seen on a milk carton. I'll take the Pats by 10.

Gabe: N.Y. Jets - The Jets have a huge weakness on offense, in that they can't figure out what they are. Maybe it has something to do with having a quarterback who studies Details magazine more than his playbook. Is Bill Belichick still a genius? I don't know. But I do know he is still smart enough to expose and exploit weaknesses. That being said, this is still a division game and Rex Ryan is going to have his boys come out swinging. I'll take the Pats to win, but by less than a touchdown.

San Diego (-3.5) at Denver

Dave: San Diego - At this point, I think the Golden State Warriors could put up points on this Broncos D. Look, John Fox, I know you want to be loyal to Kyle Orton and the team's struggles are certainly not all his fault but, I'm telling you right now, you're going to get showered with chants for Tim Tebow by halftime. Just shut these ignorant Bronco fans up. Let Timmy Touchdown get in there and stink up the joint so we can all go on with our lives. And trade Brady Quinn to Miami. That poor guy is sitting on the sidelines for a chance that's never going to come. He's like Phillies fans. Chargers roll in a laugher here. Bolts by 17.

Gabe: San Diego - Denver sucks. They have given up the fifth most points in the NFL. San Diego has one of the most potent offenses in the league. That's a recipe for a big San Diego win.

Green Bay (-5.5) at Atlanta

(Quick rant: A lot of people asked me why I didn't use this site to blast Brett Favre for his comments toward Aaron Rodgers. The reasons are two-fold. First, I was on vacation. Secondly, Favre's comments prove what I like and hate about "The Riverboat Gambler" and what I continue to despise about ESPN. What Favre said wasn't really THAT bad. It was typical of an selfish old codger who is bitter over the fact he's being usurped by his successor. You can't expect someone who has spent an entire career thinking solely of himself to speak glowingly of the man who is making beloved fans forget their once-treasured savior with every pass. That being said, I think part of the allure of Favre is he's a guy's guy. He doesn't speak in cliche like the Manning boys or Tom Brady or so many of his brethren. The problem is, he puts foot to mouth way too often. You can't condemn a guy for taking three years to win his first title with a great cast around him when it took you five years to win your first and you squandered a decade full of chances thereafter with three different teams. As for ESPN, you can't blow a story out of proportion solely to give idiotic retard Skip Bayless something to scream about with Stephen A. Smith on the unwatchable morning show of yours and then post a story about Favre reacting to the story getting overblown. You are the Worldwide Leaders of Hyperbole. You control so much air time on cable networks and your name has become so huge that you feel a constant demand to fill space with half-stories and endless banter. Favre's comments toward Rodgers were mild even in the eyes of someone like me who is constantly looking for a reason to slam Favre. Were they ignorant? Sure, but what do you expect from a Mississippi hick who thinks it's cool to send dick pics to a woman that isn't his wife? Was it ill-advised? Absolutely.....but have you seen Brett Favre throw a football the last two decades? He's the poster child for ill-advised. Look, if I can read the things Favre said and not fly off the handle, neither should you. Stick to doing what you do best, ESPN, like pulling Hank Williams Jr. off of Monday Night Football for dumb comments about President Obama while still allowing Jon Gruden to spew stupidity on a weekly basis. Nice standards you have there in Bristol.)

Dave: Green Bay - I thought this may be a close shootout between two solid offenses......until I read this. The last thing you want is an already pumped-up Aaron Rodgers with something MORE to prove. The Falcons didn't do much to help the pass defense that got torched by A-Rod and company in this very same building in the playoffs back in January. There's nothing to suggest that things will be different this time around. The champs are confident, dangerous and now come into this rematch with a chip on their shoulder. Ryan Grant is back for this one and he'll be looking to put on a show to keep James Starks' breath off his neck for at least one week. Packers by 10.

Gabe: Green Bay - Atlanta is pretty close to going into a tailspin. They could really use a game against a shitty team this week. Unfortunately for them, the Packers are coming to the dirty. The champs are on a roll and will keep it going against the birds. Pack by 10.

Philadelphia (-3) at Buffalo

Dave: Philadelphia - I don't know if the Bills are good, but I know the Niners aren't and the Eagles found a way to let them back in last week and walk out with a W. My thoughts is that Andy Reid, who has as much knowledge of clock management as he does about dieting, doesn't let that happen two straight weeks. Look, I told you people back in July not to believe the hype on this Eagles "dream team" but you rode the bandwagon anyway. Shame on you. Still, the Bills don't have the talent on defense to stop Michael Vick(a pissed off Mike Vick, at that) and I think the Eagles blow out the Bills here as some half-hearted reason to puff out their chests and remove all the vitrial from the fact that both the Eagles and Phillies choked like a first-time throater in the past seven days. Eagles by 21.

Gabe: Philadelphia - The Bills are a paper tiger. Their first two wins of the year were against a terrible Chiefs team and barely beating a Raiders team that had to travel across the country on a short week to play them. Are the Bills great? No. Are they terrible? No. They are somewhere in the middle. Philly needs this win more and I think they'll come in with something to prove. Philly wins by a touchdown.

Kansas City (+1.5) at Indianapolis

Dave: Kansas City - The Chiefs aren't as bad as people think. Don't get me wrong, Kansas City is terrible and the Matt Cassel-Todd Haley brouhaha on the sidelines last week is a harbinger of the last month as well as what's to come the rest of the year, but I think Indy sucks just a little bit more. I'm going to roll the dice on the Chiefs here. KC by 3.

Gabe: Indianapolis - Here it is...this week's edition of "The game Gabe wouldn't watch if it was played in his driveway." I feel sorry for folks in the mid-west who are going to be subjected to this turd. I'll take the Colts to get their first win, by a field goal at home.

Seattle (+10) at N.Y. Giants

Dave: N.Y. Giants - I started a Madden franchise with the Seahawks, just for kicks. After Year 1, I moved them to L.A., drafted Andrew Luck and went 10-6 in a simulated Year 2. What does that have to do with this week's game against Gabe's Jints? Nothing, just hoping some Seattle suit reads this and gets an idea(Sorry Seattle. Like I said last week, I know you've been through enough relocation and I hear you have a hell of a stadium up there in Starbucks land but you can't tell me you wouldn't rather this team move out than watch them the next half-decade, would you?) Giants are going to batter T-Jax and run the ball down Seattle's throat. Meanwhile, we'll all openly question how the blue hell this Seahawks team made the playoffs last year and why he went ape shit over Pete Carroll's NFL return in the first place. Big Blue by 16.

Gabe: N.Y. Giants - In my head, after Philadelphia, the Seattle Seahawks are the Giants biggest rivals. Again in my head and probably my head only. I hate the Seahawks. This all stems from the Giants epic collapse against Seattle in 2005. Since then most of the games in this series have been laughers, including the Giants beating Seattle 41-7, in Seattle, last year. So what about today's game? Seattle has to do the traveling this year. The Giants have the edge in just about every category. I see the Giants making life difficult for Tarvaris Jackson and get nice on offense. It might be an emotional pick, but I'll take the Giants to win by 17.

Tampa Bay (+2.5) at San Francisco

Dave: Tampa Bay - Have I mentioned at all this last month that I'm all-in on Josh Freeman and the Bucs(pause) this year? I'm not buying the career resurrection of Alex Smith because he was able to pull a comeback out of his ass last week against one of the most overrated coaches and teams in the sport's history. I like Tampa, even on short rest and having to travel across country for this one, but I see it being close with some classic J-Fresh fourth quarter heroics. Bucs by 6.

Gabe: Tampa Bay - Two young teams, one on the come up, one struggling. Tampa Bay has to travel a long way on a short week, which to me has to be the reason they are an underdog. I'll take the Bucs in a small upset special.

Chicago (+5.5) at Detroit

Dave: Detroit - I'm either a genius or dead-set on blowing this five-game lead over Gabe in one shot. Here's what we know about Detroit. They can't really run the ball. They can play from behind, no matter the team or the deficit. Their defense is more bend-but-don't-break than the second coming of the '85 Bears and....oh yeah, NOBODY CAN STOP CALVIN JOHNSON! On top of that, the only thing standing between Ndomukong Suh plowing Jay Cutler-Cavallari into the basement of Ford Field is a Bears' offensive line more embarrassing than Nancy Grace farting on Dancing With The Stars(Yes, folks, two straight weeks of "Nancy Grace on DWTS" references. And I don't even watch the show. Thank you, TMZ). Any primetime jitters by these young Lions will be offset by by JCC miscues. Jim Schwartz knows how to bring constant pressure and, with Nick Fairley making his debut, the story of Monday Night will be as much about the beating JCC is going to take as it will be about Detroit going 5-0. Lions by 13.

Gabe: Chicago - Detroit has been living dangerously. Two huge comeback wins in a row is not how you want to win. Add that to the pressure of playing their first Monday night game since the city was churning out Model T's. (The timeline in that last sentence may be exaggerated.) Who knows how Detroit will react. I think there has been too much emotion surrounding this team. Chicago is a veteran team that will handle their business. I don't know if Chicago wins, but it will be close...a field goal either way.

Week 4 Picks

A bad cold kept Gabe from elaborating on his picks last week but didn't keep him from matching his record from Week 2. The same excuse can't apply to Dave, who took a two-game dip from Week 2 and left Week 3 with the same results as his boricua counterpart.

The count still stands with Capo di Tutti Capi up five games on the season, thanks to last week's tie. On to Week 4......

Last Week

Dave: 7-7-2
Gabe: 7-7-2

Season

Dave: 23-20-5
Gabe: 18-25-5

Panthers (+7) at Bears

Dave: Bears - Cam Newton escaped "Perfect Storm" conditions in Carolina to notch his first "W" of his career against the Jags last week. That ALMOST excuses him for using the word "luscious" to describe how he felt after removing his walking boot to stabilize the ankle injury he was nursing in the week leading up to the game. No grown man should ever use the word "luscious", Cam-Cam, unless they're describing a big ass or nice lips. Newton and company won't feel so luscious this week though. If the 2010 Heisman winner thought it was hard to make plays in a monsoon against Jacksonville, he'll be even more flustered trying to get things going against this vaunted Bears D in the Windy City. Panthers D and run attack could make this one close, but I see Jay Cutler getting lucky with a few deep scores. Bears by 10.

Gabe: Carolina – This could be a trap game for the Bears. On paper they should win easily. Unfortunately for them, football games aren’t played on paper…they are played by tiny men on TV screens. Carolina is a dangerous team because they have nothing to lose. They had terribly low expectations this season, so any good play is a bonus. I think the Bears win, but it will be close, a field goal or so.

Bills (-3) at Bengals

Dave: Bills - The good news for Cincinnati is that RB Cedric Benson wasn't arrested this week and is expected to give it a go today. The bad news is the Bills are riding high from snapping their 15-game losing streak to New England last week and, with or without Benson, the Bengals don't have the firepower to keep up with this improved Bills' offensive attack. Cincy has a tendency to make even the games that are supposed to be blowouts close and ugly(see Week 1's fluke W against Cleveland), so maybe Buffalo doesn't run roughshod here. Regardless, the miracle men from Buffalo improve to 4-0 here as Ryan Fitzpatrick whips on one of his former teams. Bills by 9.

Gabe: Buffalo – The Bills might actually be for real. Today’s game won’t tell us anything though. Cincy is no test. Bills win big.

Titans (PK) at Browns

Dave: Titans - Not sure how this game is a pick 'em, but am sure it's going to be bowling shoe ugly. With Kenny Britt done for the season and Chris Johnson still on the "Missing Persons" list, the Titans offense is going to sputter here. As for Cleveland, Peyton Hillis is back from a bad case of strep, but the Titans' defense is better than many think(especially against the run). Cleveland's two wins come from beating two "Suck For Luck" candidates in Indy and Miami, while the Titans can hang their hat on a "W" over Baltimore. With questionable offenses for both teams, I think we're looking at a 10-3 Titans win.

Gabe: Cleveland – Here is this week’s installment of “Gabe’s game he wouldn’t watch even if it was being played in his driveway.” Tennessee is playing better than expected, Cleveland is playing worse. I’ll take Cleveland because they are at home.

Lions (+2.5) at Cowboys

Dave: Lions - Dallas being favored, even at home, to beat an undefeated Lions team after not being able to smell end zone against the Redskins last week is inexcusable. How are the Cowboys keeping up with Detroit offensively with Miles Austin out and their other key stars on O banged up? And who on this piss-poor secondary is stopping Calvin Johnson? I see another 300-yard game from Matt Stafford and Detroit running away with this one. Lions by 14.

Gabe: Detroit – Dallas won an emotional game on Monday night. I think the short rest and the travel are going to hurt them. Plus, Mr. Suh will be harassing Mr. Romo all game. I’ll take Detroit at home in a small upset.

Vikings (-3) at Chiefs

Dave: Chiefs - I don't care if your coach is Vince Lombardi. If you blow double digit leads(including three touchdown leads in the last two weeks) for three straight games, you fire the coach before the postgame interview. Leslie Frazier may very well be a decent head coach, but his team licked the stamp on mailing this season about thirty seconds after Donovan McNabb took his first snap. The Vikings could very well be staring at Andrew Luck this April.....which is why the team needs to put their current old relic at quarterback on the bench and see what they have in Christian Ponder. In the meantime, they need to can Frazier. The season is over. They stand no chance of beating anyone in the division and the defense is either incapable or unwilling to hold even the biggest of leads. You give Ponder his shot this week against a Chiefs team that has shown its own share of ineptitude on defense and go from there. Since that isn't happening, I say Kansas City(better than their record but still not very good) gets their first win here against Minnesota's latest laughingstock. Chiefs by 6 in another dumb spread.

Gabe: Minnesota – This pick is more about how bad Kansas City has been playing. Granted, they have had a ton of injuries, but still. I don’t think they have enough on defense to stop A.P., or enough on offense to keep up with him. Vikings by 6.

Redskins (-3) at Rams

Dave: Rams - I'm not sure if you can call this an "upset special" because St. Louis may very well be decent, but caught a bad break with the early schedule. Eagles, Giants and Ravens to start the season? Brutal. The Redskins, meanwhile, had no reason to not throttle Dallas last Monday night. Instead, they let a team that was hopeless on offense all game long, convert on 3rd and 21 and then steal a win with only a handful of field goals. Sad. That's why I think St. Louis' bad fortune ends and Washington's continues here. Rams QB Sam Bradford has been nursing a busted finger and it might be close to fully healed now. Plus, the Rams have had the Redskins' number, winning three of the last four times they've met(with Washington's lone win coming in a ugly 9-7 win in 2009). I think Nellyville bounces back here at home. Rams by 6.

Gabe: St. Louis – The Rams are struggling and their season could be in trouble. The Redskins lost a heart-breaker to their rivals, Dallas, on Monday night. I’ll give the Rams the nod because I think the ‘Skins will be dealing with a post-Dallas hangover and a lot of travel in a week.

Niners (+9.5) at Eagles

Dave: Eagles - Easiest pick of the week. The Niners struggled to score last week against Cincy and now have to try to keep up with overhyped and overanalyzed "Dream Team". Meanwhile, someone needs to put an A.P.B. out for DeSean Jackson. If future disgruntled stars need someone to look to before deciding to hold out, they should look no further than DeSean Jackson and Chris Johnson when researching how karma comes back to kick holdouts in the ass during the regular season. Obviously, the Niners' best shot here is if they can hurt the NFL's version of Mr. Glass, Mike Vick, and get either Mike Kafka or Vince Young in there to sputter the offense. Other than that, this is a rout. Eagles by 17.

Gabe: Philadelphia – The key to beating the Eagles is getting to Michael Vick. San Fran couldn’t do that on a good day, much less when they have to play a game after traveling cross-country. Philly will be playing angry after last week’s loss to my Giants. Philly will be all over the Niners and win by at least 14.

Saints (-8) at Jaguars

Dave: Saints - I take it back. THIS is the easiest pick of the week. At least the Niners can keep it close by taking out Vick. The Jags? No shot here. Saints by 20.

Gabe: New Orleans – The Saints are going to embarrass the Jags. I think the line on this game could be 20 points and the Saints would still cover. New Orleans by a lot.

Steelers (+3.5) at Texans

Dave: Texans - Because so much time is exhausted on Tony Romo's ribs, Mike Vick's dome and Tom Brady's hair, there hasn't been enough talk about the possibility that Pittsburgh is really bad. They got destroyed Week 1 by Baltimore, then tried to soften the pain of that loss by shutting out a horrible Seahawks team. Then, they squeaked by a Colts team that's in tank mode. The Super Bowl hangover definitely has the Steelers seeing 6's and 7's(except on next to their name on the scoreboard....HI-YO!) and Houston is trying its damnedest to prove its a real contender. A big win at home against the defending AFC champs with a healthy Arian Foster will do just that. Houston by 13.

Gabe: Houston – The prevailing sentiment is Houston finally has it together and Pittsburgh’s defense has gotten old in a hurry. I’m buying it. Quite simply, Houston’s offense has the ability to run circles around the Steelers’ D and I think they will. Texans by a touchdown.

Broncos (+12) at Packers

Dave: Packers - I wanted to reverse jinx this one because there's a chance Denver keeps this within 12, but I talked myself out of it. A once high-powered Broncos' offense has predictably taken a more conservative rout under new coach John Fox. Kyle Orton looks pedestrian. The no-name receivers are now even more no-name. The running game is non-existent. On defense, which is supposed to be Fox's calling card, they are still a work in progress. Now, they get the undefeated defending champs in Lambeau and that vaunted Packers' offense. I think this one gets ugly fast and Clay Matthews busts out of his slump and puts Orton on the ground a couple of times. What we WON'T see is Tim Tebow, which might have been the only thing that could have made it interesting for Broncos fans. Packers by 14.

Gabe: Green Bay – Kyle Orton might die this afternoon. The Packers are stacked on offense and defense. They’ll be up three touchdowns by halftime and easily coast to a double digit victory.

Giants (-1.5) at Cardinals

Dave: Giants - I'm still trying to figure out Gabe's boys in blue. They whoop on Philly last week but lost to lowly Washington in Week 1? So confused. Giants get Osi Umenyiora back and his entrance comes with Justin Tuck's exit. Still, the pass rush will be lethal enough to terrorize Kevin Kolb and company. Meanwhile, Eli Manning will put on a show against a bad Cardinals defense and Giants fans will overreact like Giants' defenders do when they fake injuries. Giants by 10.

Gabe: New York – The Giants don’t really have a top-flight receiver to stretch the field on offense. What they do have is a punishing running game and a mean pass rush. Arizona doesn’t have an answer for either. I’ll take my Giants to win by a touchdown or more.

Falcons (-5) at Seahawks

Dave: Falcons - Rather than explain why the Falcons won't win by double digits against Seattle today, I want someone(Seahawks fan or otherwise) to give me one good reason why the Seahawks shouldn't be contracted and then replaced with an L.A. franchise(And don't give me the "We already lost the Sonics" excuse. The only thing more tragic than the Sonics moving to Oklahoma City is the play of these Seahawks.) Falcons by 21.

Gabe: Atlanta – I’m still holding out hope that Atlanta gets it together and turns their season around. If there is ever a week to do that, it’s when playing the Seahawks. The stadium in Seattle is one of the toughest places to play on the road, but Atlanta can step up. They need to step up, and I think they will. Falcons by 9.

Patriots (-6) at Raiders

Dave: Patriots - Maybe, just maybe, this Pats team isn't as good as even I made them out to be in the preseason(and I had them in the Super Bowl). This isn't overreacting over the loss to the Bills because any team can have a bad week but take a long look at this New England squad. They have no pass rush. They can't stop the run. They can't run the ball. The passing game has become almost exclusively reliant on Wes Welker and their two young tight ends(That Ochocinco sleeper pick is coming back to haunt me, I see). Right now, they are the third best team in their own division. So why do I have them beating the Raiders? Because the Pats are at their best when backed into a corner, and that's where they are at this moment. The Raiders are better than expected but I have a hunch that they get too overconfident from their win against the Jets last week and fall victim to stupid mistakes. Patriots by 7.

Gabe: Oakland – For years the way to beat the Patriots has been to punch them in the mouth. They can’t handle physical teams. Now they have to travel across the country to face of the most physical teams in the league. I think Oakland comes out swinging, Darren McFadden gets nice, and the Raiders get the outright win in my…wait for it…UPSET SPECIAL!!!

Dolphins (+7) at Chargers

Dave: Chargers - How is this only seven? The Chargers didn't molly whop the Chiefs like I thought they would but divisional games are always more tightly contested than out-of-division games. The Dolphins' lone bright spot on offense, rookie RB Dan Thomas, is out for this game. The Chargers may not be able to run the ball but they can still sling it and Miami has no chance of keeping up. This spread should be at least 10, but maybe Vegas knows something I don't and using that to underestimate San Diego. Chargers by 10.

Gabe: San Diego – Let’s see…The Chargers are really good, Miami has to travel a long way, and Miami sucks. Chargers win huge.

Jets (+4.5) at Ravens

Dave: Jets - Let's not get too carried away about last week. Torrey Smith isn't going to run wild on Revis and Cromartie like he did on St. Louis and the Jets aren't as disappointing as their loss to Oakland last week indicates. I still think they lose to Baltimore here though. A game like this between two defense-led teams is going to come down to the wire and it won't be very high scoring(much like last year's snoozefest between these two). The winner of this one is going to eek out by a field goal, so I'll take the points with Gang Green. Ravens by 3.

Gabe: Baltimore – The Jets have an identity crisis on offense. That’s not a good thing to take into Baltimore. I see this game perhaps being close early, but New York will get overwhelmed late. They start making mistakes in the second half and Baltimore wins by 10.

Colts (+10) at Bucs

Dave: Bucs - I remember when Monday Night Football was hard to watch simply because Jon Gruden was on it. Now, we get saddled with another crap matchup. Thanks, NFL! Thanks, ESPN! Curtis Painter makes his debut for Indianapolis in prime time. I'm putting the over/under on Andrew Luck mentions during Colts' offensive drives at 10. On the bright side, we get to see J-Fresh, Josh Freeman, in primetime. I expected more of an offensive show so far from my new favorite non-Packer and maybe we get one against a Colts team looking to be put out to pasture. Or maybe Indy's pass-rush dynamos Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis try to carry the team on their back, force some bad passes from Freeman and make this a game. An unwatchable game, but a game nonetheless. Either way, I won't be watching(Yes, Gabe, I will be watching wrestling. Go ahead with the jokes.) Bucs by 13.

Gabe: Indianapolis – Tampa Bay is young and on the rise and Indy is awful, but last week the Colts showed some pride. I think they do that again this week….but still lose. Ten points is a few too many. Tampa Bay by a touchdown. Oh yeah, and Dave likes wrestling....haha, what a loser.