You have to give credit where credit is due. If ESPN succeeds at doing one thing well, it's their ability to throw shit against the wall and cause a frenzy.
Today, less than an hour after I spent my morning writing that the Bears should fill their newfound void at QB with one Donovan McNabb, The Worldwide Leader dug back into their crates and polished off their favorite headline grabber:
Brett Favre.
Word out of the Favre residence, where ESPN keeps their reporters entrenched on a 24/7 basis so they can never get the taste of Favre's now-famous pecker out of their mouths, is that Favre would listen if Chicago's suits trying to sell him on making one last comeback.
Why, you ask? Well, why do you think? As the schedule reads, Favre's former mates in Green Bay will be potentially bringing a 14-0 record when the Packers and Bears meet on Christmas night in front of a national audience on NBC. If Favre were to sign this week, two weeks would probably be just enough time for him to learn Mike Martz's intricate offense and make one last decrepit trot out of the tunnel at Lambeau in hopes of thwarting the Packers' perfect season. With his protege already erasing some of his legacy by matching his ring total last year, Favre knows that Rodgers making history by being the first team to go undefeated and win it all since the '72 Dolphins(as well as become the first team ever to repeat and go undefeated) would all but make Favre an afterthought in Titletown. If there's one thing the 42-year old gunslinger still holds on to dearly, it's his own inflated sense of self-worth.
The Favre-ESPN marriage is the perfect blend of two entities that are more big name than actual substance. After being exposed in a tell-all book about the comings and goings during the network's history in James Miller's "Those Guys Have All The Fun", ESPN's new calling card to draw audiences is to try to grab viewers with half-stories and hypotheticals instead of actual journalism. The days of relying on the talents of legendary scribes like Peter Gammons and Len Pasquarelli are gone and have since been replaced with slideshows comparing Tim Tebow to John Elway and LeBron James to Michael Jordan. News stories are now born from tweets on Twitter and Facebook polls instead of actual interviewing and enhanced thought. It's the sign of the new age: a sophisticated network keeping it simple for simpletons while the hardcore sports fan looks elsewhere for real sports news. It's no wonder ESPN's early morning radio shows find themselves trailing behind the exceptional work of former anchor Dan Patrick. Fans are tired of listening to talking heads tell stories from atop the fence. Outside of Colin Cowherd, very few of ESPN's voices take sides....and when they do, they get silenced as in the case of Tony Kornheiser. However, ESPN is smart enough to know that they can grab attention, positive or negative, simply by inserting "The Riverboat Gambler" into any hypothetical opening. When Peyton Manning went down following neck surgery, ESPN worked steadfast to at least attempt to throw Favre's name in the ring as Manning's replacement. In a lot of ways, ESPN has done more for Favre's career these last few years than Bus Cook has.
As for Favre, his current role is not different from any jilted lover who has to sit back and watch his old flame have success without him. He's bitter, jealous, powerless and, most importantly, delusional. In Favre's pea brain, he believes that his presence on a floundering Bears team now missing its best weapon in Matt Forte will be enough to put the brakes on a seemingly unstoppable Packers train. His hell-bent desire to stick it to the franchise he once made great was evident in his desire to come to Minnesota three years ago and only his ego(and, of course, some prodding from his buddies in Bristol) coerced him into coming back after a remarkable first season with the Vikings that ended in typical Favre playoff fashion. Now, Favre is allegedly at it again. The fact that ESPN is even asking Favre if he's interested in coming back with a month left in the season shows their dependency on him to draw headlines. After all, Daunte Culpepper can't buy a job in the NFL. Donovan McNabb, who is FROM Chicago and has been more recently seen throwing a football than Favre has, would love some mainstream backing that would lead to him starting for a contender. Jeff George, who is every bit as surly, egotistical and prickish as Favre has been over the years, has been dying for the kind of support Favre has gotten this past half-decade. All of those, the case can be made, would be better options than Favre. Unless, of course, that case is being made by ESPN.
On a network that isn't supposed to seem biased, ESPN makes its undying boner for Favre look pretty damn evident. After all, who else is clamoring for another Favre comeback? Check Facebook. Check Twitter. Check message boards and blogs. There isn't an overwhelming amount of desire from fans, especially in Chicago, for Ol' Number Four to make one more run. If anything, it's more a movement towards the contrary. Maybe that's the point though. As the cliche goes, there's no such thing as bad publicity and, while ESPN continues to dig itself into a credibility hole by going to the Favre well with the same addictive nature that a crackhead seeks out cocaine, at least it can smile at the numbers from all the people they've managed to bamboozle into listening to another Favre comeback story.
The Favre-ESPN merger is a marriage of two similar criminals that deserve each other. A network less concerned with journalistic credibility and actual stories and more concerned with clicks and ratings numbers joining forces with a man less concerned with his own popularity and more with his own tattered legacy.
Brett Favre and ESPN: Dumb and Dumber.
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