You may be familiar with the idiot to the left. That man is none other than greedy, self-absorbed knucklehead Michael Crabtree. Crabtree, the 10th overall pick in April's NFL Draft and the only draft pick that remains unsigned, is refusing to sign with the team that drafted him, the San Francisco 49ers, until they give him the type of money befitting a Top 5 pick. The Niners, however, are reluctant to give Top 5 money to Crabtree based simply on the fact that HE WASN'T TAKEN IN THE TOP 5!!!! Crabtree's new plan is to sit out the season and re-enter the draft next year where he misguidedly believes he'll be taken where he should've been taken this year and be paid what he feels the Niners should have been offering in the first place. However, the history of college players re-entering the NFL Draft a year later and going higher than the year before despite a very public contract dispute that lead to said player being available once again in the draft is, well, not promising. Want to know the last high-profile college receiver who entered the NFL Draft after a year of inactivity?
Then, look to your right.
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That man would be former Lions bust Mike Williams. Like Crabtree, Williams was the 10th overall pick selected by Lions General Moron Matt Millen despite the fact that Millen drafted receivers Roy Williams and Charles Rogers in the first round of the previous two drafts. Like Crabtree, Williams was a stud in a high-profile offense(though in Williams' case, it was at USC, whereas Crabtree starred at Texas Tech). Like Crabtree, Williams faced serious questions about his top-end speed. However, Williams' situation differs from Crabtree's a bit. Williams missed a year of football because he foolishly followed former Ohio St. Buckeye-turned-Ohio-inmate Maurice Clarett as an early-entry in the 2004 NFL Draft after a temporary judge ruling overruled the NFL's long-standing rule of only allowing players three years removed from high school graduation to go pro. Much to the surprise of noone, that ruling was overturned and Williams, like Clarett, was left with no college and now, no future. That didn't stop Millen from blowing his load, Gus Johnson-style, when he saw Williams work out in 2005 when the Keyshawn Johnson clone was draft-eligible.
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Once in Detroit, Williams was hampered by the same gluttony that is currently engulfing Crabtree. Except Williams' vice wasn't millions of dollars as much as it was millions of calories. One of the big knocks on Williams(nicknamed BMW as in Big Mike Williams because he was, well, big at 6'5 240) was his inability to stay in shape. His love for the Wendy's dollar menu is why some teams suggested Williams play tight end in the pros(a suggestion that Williams vehemently refused). That would be the least of Williams' knocks, however. Despite showing a knack for making acrobatic catches at SC, BMW was Roberto Duran when it came to catching passes in the NFL.
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After just 2 seasons in Detroit, the Lions shipped Williams and his brick hands(as well as QB Josh McCown) to Oakland for a 4th round pick. He would last all of 7 months with the Raiders. His final moment in the Silver and Black came when then-QB Daunte Culpepper attempted to convert on fourth down on what would have been the game-winning drive by firing a pass to Williams. Williams, like he would do throughout his entire career, dropped it like it was hot.
After being released by Oakland, Williams reunited with another former SC coordinator in Norm Chow(previously, in Oakland, he hooked up with former SC game planner Lane Kiffin) and signed with the Tennessee Titans. With the Titans, Williams reportedly showed up at 270 lbs or 30 pounds heavier than teammate LenDale White at his tequila-drinking best. Needless to say, Williams didn't last long in Tennessee as he was released a few months later.
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So there's some precedent for you, Mr. Crabtree, though I wouldn't worry about being picked in the Top 10 next year. Not only will you be entering a draft with four potential top 10 QBs in Jevan Snead, Tim Tebow, Sam Bradford and Colt McCoy, but there's also Heisman favorite Jahvid Best. Plus, beyond any physical talents you may possess, teams tend to lean towards signability and, well, you pretty much shot that aspect to shit when you decided to turn your nose at damn near $20 million guaranteed. You see, football fans, as Redskins rookie LB Robert Henson is learning, are blue-collar individuals who love nothing more than enjoying a relaxing weekend of watching grown men slam into each other. So, when a punk kid who has had everything handed to him quibbles over a few million dollars when businesses are closing left and right and American citizens are struggling to find jobs in the worst economic downturn in a century, the American people tend to react to these individuals like Kanye West at the CMT Awards.
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So rather than do what we normally do and offer our Milk Carton All-Star to the fans as a moment of celebration for a career that has long-since been deceased, I want to use this spot to dedicate the dwindling career of Mike Williams to you, Mr. Crabtree, because you will be joining him on the lonely island of irrelevance in the very, very near future.
---Dave
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