Milk Carton All-Star of the Week.....1/27/2010

Even with a brain that moves at 175 mph like mine, occasionally you get into a creative rut when trying to generate contenders for the Milk Carton All-Star of the Week. That's why we went to the audience this week, calling upon our friend Kenny, to elect this week's All-Star.

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A few things you should know about this week's All-Star, Detlef Schrempf. First, he looks like a cross between Guile from Street Fighter and someone who would play a bad guy in one of the Die Hard movies. Second, his success in the NBA(and to a lesser extent, Drazen Petrovic's) opened the door for the foreign infusion of talent we have today in pro basketball. Without Schrempf, there's no Dirk Nowitzki or Hedo Turkoglu. Third, unlike past "All-Stars", Schrempf had a rather productive pro career(AND he was money in NBA Live on Sega Genesis).

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Schrempf was the 8th overall pick of the 1985 Draft(a draft that included Patrick Ewing, Karl Malone, and fellow goofy white guy Chris Mullin). He was a tall, lanky, and deadly from behind the arc(especially in '94-95, where he shot a ridiculous 51% from 3 on 181 attempts) Schrempf played on four different teams during his 16-year career, doing most of his damage as a member of the Shawn Kemp/Gary Payton Seattle Supersonics during the '90s. He averaged double-digits in scoring from 1988-1999. He finished his career averaged just over 6 rebounds per game(which is solid for a small forward). He's a three-time NBA All-Star and a two-time NBA Sixth Man of the Year. He made the playoffs 14 times in 16 seasons, including an NBA Finals appearance with the Sonics(where they were famously crushed by Jordan's Bulls).

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So why is someone with this solid of a resume getting an award normally given to washouts and busts? Well, because you can't say the name Detlef Schrempf without giggling like a school girl a little and, well, with that tall, lanky frame and Roger Maris crew-cut, he looks like the long lost brother of Ivan Drago. Plus, he played during an era of Tyrone Hill, Patrick Ewing, Clarence Weatherspoon and Mookie Blaylock, making the possibility of creating the Ugly Athlete All-Stars that much more likely.

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So let's give a round of applause for the man so ugly they had to move the Sonics to Oklahoma City.......Detlef Schrempf, everybody!