Tim-may!

About three months from now, the NFL Draft(also known as Spring Christmas in "The House That Dave Built") will be getting underway and there are many storylines coming into this year's ceremony: Do the Rams go Jimmy Clausen or Ndomukong Suh?, What's up with Sam Bradford's shoulder? What are Mike Shanahan and Pete Carroll going to do in their NFL returns? Those questions and many more are sure to arise after the event that usually kicks off Draft Fever: The Senior Bowl.

Now, with Clausen and Bradford being underclassman and Suh not participating as well, all the talk around Senior Bowl practices have surrounded one man: Timothy Richard Tebow.

The nationwide hub-bub over whether Tebow will have success in the pros have gone on since Tebow hoisted up the Heisman as a sophomore back in 2007. Since then, Tebow's game has been dissected more than Heidi Montag's face, with guys like Scouts Inc. draft guru Todd McShay picking apart every facet of Tebow's game from his sloppy mechanics to his awkward throwing motion. McShay even went as far as to say, on Mike and Mike this week, that Tebow was probably the 7th or 8th best QB...........at the Senior Bowl. That's not even including Clausen or Bradford or Jeven Snead(the assumed top 3 QBs) in this year's draft. That puts Tebow behind guys like Cincinatti's Tony Pike and West Virginia's Jarrett Brown, whom also have their laundry lists of flaws.

The truth is, Tebow isn't as polished a passer as any of the other quarterbacks in this draft. He played in an offense that wasn't exactly the Run 'N Shoot at Florida in terms of versatility in the passing game. He wasn't asked to be Peyton Manning in terms of reading a defense and making a varied amount of throws. Instead, Gators coach Urban Meyer built a system around Tebow's unique blend of size, speed and strength and all Tebow did was utilize that system to win four bowl games including two national championships, the Heisman and a showcase filled with a number of other awards.

Tebow is a winner. Clausen has the gun. Bradford has the accuracy. Tebow simply just wins. It isn't pretty, but it works. That being said, the dog and pony show Tebow has led for four years at Florida isn't going to work in the NFL and, if Tebow is going to succeed, he's going to have to put that trademark work ethic to good use and become something resembling a polished passer within the next three months. The team that drafts Tebow, ideally, is going to have to have these three criterias:

*QB stability(i.e. a proven veteran PLUS a capable backup) - If you're drafting Tebow, you want him to learn the position for at least two or three years and avoid being thrown onto the playing field early. Ideally, you want him to learn from a season veteran who has been under the current system for quite some time and has some experience tutoring young QBs. You also want to have a solid backup who can come in if the vet goes down so that Tebow isn't thrusted into dangerous grounds before he's ready. If Tebow's crying after losing an SEC Championship game, there's no telling what his psyche is going to be if injuries force him into the lineup and he gets booed mercifully after stinking up the joint. By veteran though, you want a guy who will be able to pass the torch in a couple years. You don't want Tebow ending up in a place like Baltimore, where he'll have no shot of ever seeing the field. You want to be able to groom Tebow to be a capable QB that can take over or at least compete three years from now. Under this first requirement, you can eliminate Buffalo(he'd start by Week 3 with that band of QBs and swiss-cheese OL), San Francisco(see Buffalo), Washington(probably taking a more pure passer), New England(nobody behind Brady), Jacksonville(see Washington), and Denver(see Jacksonville).


*Offense needs to have Wildcat experience AND lack a true power run game: With the advent of the Wildcat offense, QBs with a more athletic skill set as opposed to a more natural passing skill set(see Vick, Michael) can find a way onto the field. Tebow is like a bulked-up version of Vick. He's a gifted runner with some passing chops but rather than dominate with speed, agility and a cannon arm like Vick did, Tebow's running style is more of a north-south smashmouth running style. Now, if you already have a guy who you can hand off in a short yardage situation and have him run it up the gut, you really don't need Tebow. If you're Dallas, you don't need Tebow if you already have Marion Barber. Miami would have been a perfect landing spot for Tebow, but they already tabbed their Wildcat QB when they took Pat White last year and, quite frankly, Dolphins fans would start flipping over tables at the Early Bird Special if Miami goes QB high for the third straight year. Still, with an offense that is well-versed in the Wildcat, Tebow can see SOME action on the field in a formation that will suit him for now until he develops as a passer. In this requirement, you can pretty much rule out any team that doesn't use the Wildcat much(San Diego, Atlanta, etc.) and the aforementioned Cowboys and 'Phins.

*Team has to have the patience to not take Tebow before Round 3 - Look, a guy with Tebow's popularity is going to force many GMs into getting desperate and jotting Tebow's name down in the interest of selling tickets(I'm looking at you, Jacksonville!). Tebow's not ready to be an NFL quarterback. He's had the chance to declare the past two seasons and didn't do it because he knew his iconic status would get him picked high and the pressure to succeed would almost certianly crush him. Now, as the loveable underdog, Tebow can take all the media hits and sneak into a good situation on an up and coming team(like Troy Smith did in Baltimore). Plus, by waiting to pop the cork on the Tebow bubbly 'til Day 2, it allows Day 1 to focus on the more superior prospects like Suh and Clausen and Eric Berry. Granted, it also means Chris Berman will have to kill more time with his tired schtick of corny nicknames, Buffalo cabbies and circling the wagons and trying hard to be the voice of the fans, but I'm sure he'll make due. It's hard to rule out anyone with this requisite because we don't know how the Draft will shake out. If there's a few curveballs and some solid players drop, then teams won't be in a crunch to nab Tebow early to win the crowd reaction contest. However, if many of the big names get snapped up quick, we might see Tebow on Day 1.

So, after carefully going through each team, I came down with one potential landing spot for Tebow:

The Philadelphia Eagles.

I know, I know, Tebow is bound to get eaten alive by the drunken sports fans in Philly, but hear me out. The Eagles already have a proven QB in Donovan McNabb, who has been under Andy Reid and his scheme since 1998. I know what you're thinking: "Oh, but the Eagles are trading McNabb...". No, they're not. Every year, we hear McNabb's leaving Philly and every year he enters camp as an Eagle. He was supposed to go to Baltimore years ago. Never happened. He was supposed to go back home to Chicago. They got Jay Cutler instead. Now, you're hearing he's reuniting with Brad Childress in Minnesota if Favre retires. One, Favre's not retiring and two, the Eagles aren't dumb enough to trade him within the NFC.

"But, what about Kevin Kolb?" What about him? Kolb's not beating McNabb for the starting job anytime soon, even with his semi-competent performance in relief this season. If the Eagles take Tebow, that essentially sets up Kolb vs. Tebow for the Eagles' starting QB job in 2012. Have you seen anything from Kolb that makes you think the Eagles have all the faith in the world in him to take the job by then. If the Eagles aren't willing to dump McNabb for Kolb heading into Kolb's third season, what makes you think they'd have more confidence in Kolb as he collected dust on the bench the next couple of seasons? Also, what makes you think Kolb is staying if he continues to sit behind McNabb? Let me tell you something: If Donovan McNabb is an Eagle in 2010, he's going to be an Eagle for life. With this slate of QBs coming in(and a decent bunch coming next year) there aren't going to be many teams that will be willing to deal for an aging McNabb. Minnesota this season is the best opportunity McNabb has of leaving Philly and, again, it's not going to happen.

Now, as for Tebow as an Eagle on the field, he'd be the short-yardage back the Eagles have missed forever. The Eagles have become world-renowned in their ineptitude by the goal-line and on a critical 3rd and 1 and 4th and 1 situations. They've tried many options as their power back savior(Duce Staley, Correll Buckhalter, Leonard Weaver, Joe Klecko) and all of them have been topped by scatbacks like Brian Westbrook and LeSean McCoy. The unique thing about Tebow as a Wildcat QB is that the position has typically went to speedy recievers(Brad Smith/Josh Cribbs) or light-footed QBs(Vick/White/Seneca Wallce). You hardly ever see a Wildcat QB who runs 6'3, 240lbs and runs anywhere between a 4.6 to a 4.8. In the winter months(and Gabe, as a man who watches Brandon Jacobs a lot can attest to this), nobody wants to try to take down a big man running with a head of steam. Tebow lining up as the Wildcat QB with the option to run or pass(especially with return of Tebow's former college safety blanket, TE Cornelius Ingram) makes the Eagles much more explosive and versatile and no longer a mortal lock to settle for 3 in the red zone. You're telling me an offense of Tebow, McCoy, DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin with a healthy, road-grading offensive line doesn't give defensive coordinators fits, especially in December and January?

Now, there are other candidates in the discussion. If Favre leaves and the Vikings get McNabb, Tebow would be a nice fit in Minnesota alongside that huge left side of the offensive line, AP, Percy Harvin and Sidney Rice. Pittsburgh also comes to mind because they are a smashmouth running team and Tebow's blue collar style fits in perfectly there as well(although with Big Ben and Dennis Dixon, his chances of starting in 3 years are nil unless a. Ben goes to jail for rape and b. Dixon's knee explodes again).

We can all say what we want about Tim Tebow. He's sensative. He's a bit too religious. He's a gimmick. The fact is, the man ended his Florida career as perhaps the most accomplished college athlete in history. Does he have flaws? Absolutely. So does every prospect in this draft. Will he put up huge numbers in the pros? Not a chance, but Vince Young's numbers were never gaudy and all he's done is win in Tennessee. It wasn't too long ago that we all thought Vick was a can't-miss QB prospect who would transcend the game. You know what happened there? The can't miss kid missed....badly. In a sports world tainted with bad guy knuckleheads like Vick or Pac-Man Jones or Gilbert Arenas or Barry Bonds, can't we all come together and root for a good guy underdog?

Even if that good guy underdog is a Bible-thumping, pro-life shilling, noodle-armed crybaby?

(What? It had to be said.)

Milk Carton All-Star of the Week.....1/27/2010

Even with a brain that moves at 175 mph like mine, occasionally you get into a creative rut when trying to generate contenders for the Milk Carton All-Star of the Week. That's why we went to the audience this week, calling upon our friend Kenny, to elect this week's All-Star.

.

A few things you should know about this week's All-Star, Detlef Schrempf. First, he looks like a cross between Guile from Street Fighter and someone who would play a bad guy in one of the Die Hard movies. Second, his success in the NBA(and to a lesser extent, Drazen Petrovic's) opened the door for the foreign infusion of talent we have today in pro basketball. Without Schrempf, there's no Dirk Nowitzki or Hedo Turkoglu. Third, unlike past "All-Stars", Schrempf had a rather productive pro career(AND he was money in NBA Live on Sega Genesis).

.

Schrempf was the 8th overall pick of the 1985 Draft(a draft that included Patrick Ewing, Karl Malone, and fellow goofy white guy Chris Mullin). He was a tall, lanky, and deadly from behind the arc(especially in '94-95, where he shot a ridiculous 51% from 3 on 181 attempts) Schrempf played on four different teams during his 16-year career, doing most of his damage as a member of the Shawn Kemp/Gary Payton Seattle Supersonics during the '90s. He averaged double-digits in scoring from 1988-1999. He finished his career averaged just over 6 rebounds per game(which is solid for a small forward). He's a three-time NBA All-Star and a two-time NBA Sixth Man of the Year. He made the playoffs 14 times in 16 seasons, including an NBA Finals appearance with the Sonics(where they were famously crushed by Jordan's Bulls).

.

So why is someone with this solid of a resume getting an award normally given to washouts and busts? Well, because you can't say the name Detlef Schrempf without giggling like a school girl a little and, well, with that tall, lanky frame and Roger Maris crew-cut, he looks like the long lost brother of Ivan Drago. Plus, he played during an era of Tyrone Hill, Patrick Ewing, Clarence Weatherspoon and Mookie Blaylock, making the possibility of creating the Ugly Athlete All-Stars that much more likely.

.

So let's give a round of applause for the man so ugly they had to move the Sonics to Oklahoma City.......Detlef Schrempf, everybody!

Please, Hammer, DO Hurt Them

If LeBron James needs advice on how to handle his upcoming free agency six months from now, he need only look through his phone contacts and dial up a man who sits a couple thousand miles west of Cleveland. He needs to seek out the man he famously traded buckets with on New Year's Day. He needs to call Kobe Bryant.

Bryant's Lakers have become the blueprint for how to build a championship contender. In the last three years, The Lake Show has managed to surround "The Black Mamba" with stars such as Pau Gasol(trade), Lamar Odom(re-signed, after coming over in the Shaq trade), and Ron Artest(signed in the offseason). There was also the drafting of young up-and-coming center Andrew Bynum, who was taken with the 10th overall pick in 2005, after the conclusion of the first post-Shaq season. Now there are rumors that Bynum might be on the move to Toronto in exchange for all-world power forward Chris Bosh. Bosh. Gasol. Artest. Odom. Bryant. I defy you to find me a better starting five.

Conversely, here's what the Cavs have done for "The Akron Hammer" over that span.

* Traded for overpaid center Ben Wallace fresh after wearing out his welcome in Chicago less than two seasons in with the Bulls.

*Traded for the equally overpaid Wally Sczerbiak and gun-toting point guard Delonte West.

*Failed to use the expiring contract of "Wally World" to lure in a marquee sidekick for James like Jason Kidd or Shawn Marion.

*Traded for solid combo guard Mo Williams

*Traded for a far-past-his-prime Shaquille O'Neal.

Three years of potential moves to make and all that surrounds The King's Court is the second coming of Rod Strickland and Shaq's corpse. You know why the Cavs aren't in the hunt for a player like Bosh? Because the Cavs don't possess a single young talent other than James that the Raptors would take back and build a franchise around. Mo Williams is a solid guard, but you wouldn't give up Chris Bosh for him, would you?

That's why the smart move for LeBron is to spend this summer looking at real estate in places outside of Ohio. Even if the Cavs pull the trigger on the rumored Antawn Jamison-for-Big Z deal that's been in the works for months, do you really like a Cavs team of 'Bron, Shaq, Jamison and Williams to overtake Kobe and company in the Finals? I don't. Spare me the regular season jargon. The Cavs were one of the best home teams in the NBA last year and got worked by the Magic in the Conference Finals.

So why should King James confide in Kobe? Because not too long ago, Bryant was openly frustrated with the lack of talent that surrounded him. We all remember the YouTube video where he dressed down Bynum. We all remember the Steven A. Smith radio interview where he demanded to be traded. Kobe demanded help and he got it.....and then some. As for LeBron, that ship has sailed. There is not nearly enough talent on this team to believe that this season won't replicate last season's exit and there is certainly not enough trade chips the Cavs can cash in to get LeBron a new band of brothers. Shaq and LeBron were supposed to mesh much like Shaq did with Kobe and Dwayne Wade in years past. They haven't. Instead, Shaq has looked out of shape and his biggest contribution to the team has been becoming an immovable object in the lane that obstructs The Akron Hammer's ability to get to the hole.

The only thing more immovable than Shaq in the paint is Shaq in a trade. No GM with half his wits is going to take on an aging prima donna like Shaq, who is making damn near $20 million this season. You think Toronto's taking Shaq for Bosh? Nope. You think the T'Wolves would give up Al Jefferson for Shaq? Hell no. Pacers and Danny Granger? Not a chance. The best your getting for Shaq these days is Eddy Curry and Jared Jefferies.

If I know this, you know LeBron knows this. If you're LeBron, are you going to stay in Cleveland and continue to trust a front office that has failed to build a championship team around since you came in the league in 2003? Or are you going to look at these options:

*New Jersey/Brooklyn Nets: Sure, they're terrible now and New Jersey isn't exactly a dream land to make a living unless you're "The Situation", but they have some cap room. They have Brook Lopez. They have Devin Harris and they're guaranteed to be picking somewhere in the Top 3 in a three-person draft this June. Do the Nets have enough dough for James and perhaps another big like Bosh or Amare Stoudemire? Maybe, depending on what maneuvering they do going forward. One thing's for sure, they have Jay-Z, and he has LeBron's ear.

*New York Knicks: Unless they move Curry AND Jefferies, they aren't going to have the cash to bring in LeBron + 1. They also don't have a first rounder in this year's draft. Sure, it's the bright lights of New York City and all the global marketing opportunities that come with The Big Apple, but LeBron can get that with the Nets if or when they make it to Brooklyn. Plus, he gets paired with a better supporting cast. I know LeBron-to-the-Knicks seemed like a mortal lock this time last year, but barring a miracle trade for Curry and Jefferies, the Knicks look like they're S.O.L.

*Los Angeles Clippers - Besides the potential future moves of the Nets, the Clips would offer LeBron his best supporting cast to date. Solid yet overpaid center Chris Kaman. First overall pick Blake Griffin. Underrated forward Al Thorton. Sharpshooting guard Eric Gordon and lazy yet solid point guard Baron Davis. Of course, there's the two main concerns with coming to the Clippers: 1. The obvious Clipper curse that wasted no time claiming the legs of Griffin this preseason and 2. The thought of working for a well-publicised racist cheapskate like owner Donald Sterling. LeBron isn't exactly Jim Brown, but the man is certainly thoughtful enough in regards to the treatment of people of color to think twice about accepting a big payday from a man who once claimed all black people stink.

*Miami Heat: All signs point to Wade staying unless something drastic happens and the only way a LeBron-Wade combination works is if one agrees to be the facilitator to the other. That man will obviously be LeBron, who has been blessed with a Magic-esque ability to dish the rock. Could LeBron sacrifice his own stats and defer to Wade if it meant a few rings on his finger? Sure, but why would you bring in a thoroughbred like LeBron to be a glorified point guard. A man with the freakish talents of LeBron James needs to be unleashed like Achilles in Troy. Unless you're telling me that the Heat will use the draw of South Beach to convince Wade, James and Bosh to take less money in exchange for chance to play together and dominate the NBA, I can't see it happening. Then again, I would have never thought a Kobe-Gasol-Bosh-Artest combo could happen, but it just might.

*Oklahoma City Thunder: Same rules apply here as they do in Miami. Somebody has to agree to pass up being the alpha dog between James and Kevin Durant. The fact that they play the same position doesn't help matters either. As tantalizing as a Durant-Jeff Green-LeBron-Russell Westbrook tandem over the next six years would be, the Thunder didn't draft a superstar like Durant only for him to eventually be dwarfed by the greatness of King James. Plus, as much of a marketing black hole as Cleveland may be, Oklahoma City makes Cleveland look like Washington D.C.

*Washington Wizards: Obvious long shot here, as the Wizards would have to hope the NBA would agree to void Gilbert Arenas' contract and that they can move Jamison and Caron Butler for expirings. That would mean LeBron would enter a situation similar to the one he's in Cleveland, except in a bigger market: LeBron as the one man show, unless the Wiz can move around enough money to make the LeBron-Bosh-Wade triumvirate happen. If that happens, combined with the potential of a high pick for the lowly Wiz, the Nation's capital could have something here, but I would say that is very wishful thinking.

Even with all the counter-arguments that could be made for the aforementioned destinations, the fact of the matter is all of those represent better situations than the one James is currently in. Sure, the Cavs can offer more money, but what good would that do if you're continuing to go to war with J.J. Hickson and Danny Green? That's why 'Bron needs to look at the Lakers. Sure, Kobe inevitably stayed in L.A., but only because the Lakers couldn't find a sweet enough deal to move Bryant.

So, it makes you wonder, if a GM is willing to build a team around a superstar basketball player who spent an entire offseason demanding out and throwing his team under the bus, why wouldn't another GM do the same for a hometown hero who is potentially the greatest basketball player to ever lace them up?

Consider that your first question in your phone call with Kobe, LeBron.

Better Luck Next Time

Less than two weeks from today, the Saints and Colts will kick off what is expected to be a very exciting Super Bowl(a Super Bowl that could have been much more exciting had both teams played a bit harder in December and ended up at this point both at 18-0). We have more than enough time to get to the Super Bowl, but what about the other playoff teams that had to leave with some nice parting gifts?

Ask no more. Here's a detailed look at what should be on the agenda for the ten playoff teams who couldn't make the big dance(starting with the recently eliminated first).

1. Minnesota Vikings

How It Ended: The same way any big Brett Favre playoff game seems to end these days: With The Riverboat Gambler's uncanny knack for completing passes to the guys in the wrong colored shirts in the most inopportuned times. Favre wasn't alone wearing the goat horns, as guys like Percy Harvin and Adrian Peterson fumbled the ball the way Carlos Menica fumbles another comedian's jokes.

What Happens Now: Obviously, who quarterbacks this team next year is first and foremost. Favre says he's unlikely to come back next year, but how many times have we heard THAT this decade? Backup Tarvaris Jackson is a free agent and you have to think he's not returning if he thinks he'll be Favre's caddy again. That's why the Vikes need to harden their stance and impose a deadline for Favre's decision. If Favre agrees to come back, the team can move on to their other big need: Finding an heir apparent for one half of the vaunted Williams Wall, Pat Williams(who says he is 50-50 on whether he's hanging them up). If Big Pat decides to give it one more go, the team can focus their first rounder on a QB whether Favre comes back or not. The fact of the matter is, if the team had faith that Jackson or Sage Rosenfels could run the show, they wouldn't have spent last summer making the googly-eyes at Favre.

Oh, and if you can find a solid RBs coach who can teach AP how to be a bit more careful with the football, that might be great for Minny's long-term future. Other than that, this team is set to contend for quite some time.

2. New York Jets

How It Ended: They showed some spunk on the road against the Colts, but inevitably became another victim of The Peyton Manning Show. The Colts also seemed to do a better job in the second half running the ball, Gang Green's trademark, which made stopping Number 18 that much harder.

What Happens Now: Like the Falcons last year, the team has the luxury of knowing it has a capable, playoff-tested young QB in Mark Sanchez. The team also has a great young runner in 3rd-rounder Shonn Greene. However, there are questions. Starting RB Thomas Jones, who quietly had a solid season, has been rumored to have played his last down in Jersey as the team looks to save some money. The same might also be true for injured and since long-forgotten RB Leon Washington, who was hoping for a big contract before he was lost for the season and Greene decided to break out. Two other big decisions involve WR Braylon Edwards, whom the team traded for midseason, and LB Vernon Gholston, the #6 pick of the 2008 Draft. The Jets need to decide whether they want to move forward with the stone-handed Edwards, who will probably want a contract along the lines of what the Cowboys paid fellow hands of concrete wideout Roy Williams, as their top guy. Edwards showed flashes of his ability in the AFC Championship with his 80-yard catch and run against the Colts. That also came two weeks after a potential TD catch hit right off his mitts against Cincinatti. If the Jets wave bye-bye to Braylon, they could try to make another move for a guy like Arizona's Anquan Boldin or sign problematic wideout Brandon Marshall OR they can go the draft route and look at a guy like Notre Dame's Golden Tate.

As for Gholston, two years removed from all of the Lawrence Taylor hype he had coming out of a productive career at Ohio State and an impressive combine, he's still yet to record an NFL sack. Perhaps it's his inability to play in the 3-4 or perhaps he's not really the goods. Nevertheless, he's making a nice paycheck for zero production, and that's something that's sure to not sit right with GM Mike Tannenbaum or coach Rex Ryan. Other needs for Gang Green include finding a solid corner to play opposite Darrelle Revis and perhaps a change-of-pace back for Greene if they decide to part with Jones and Washington.

3. Dallas Cowboys

How It Ended: The Cowboys got a thorough lesson in defensive dominance at the hands of the Vikings as Leslie Frazier's boys routinely found ways to smack Tony Romo and company in the mouth.

What Happens Now: We can debate for days whether keeping Wade Phillips as head coach was the right move but, at the end of the day, Phillips is still the coach. The team would probably love to cut ties with drop-prone loud mouth Roy Williams, but that would be very costly. For now, they'll have to settle on improving on a team that seems to be thisclose every year. First things first has to be the offensive line. When left tackle Flozell Adams isn't a holding penalty waiting to happen, he's showing every bit of his 34 years of age. The time has come for the Cowboys to make a concerned effort on protecting its pretty boy star quarterback. Next up, the team needs to continue to bolster their secondary, especially at the safety position. SS Gerald Sensabaugh was decent in his first year in Big D, but he's hardly a franchise guy(he's also a restricted free agent). As for FS Ken Hamlin, when it comes to tackling, he swings and misses more often than Mike Cameron. The team can consider itself lucky if freakishly athletic safety Taylor Mays of USC is still available in Round 1, but that's probably wishful thinking.

Last, but certianly not least, this team needs a kicker. Nick Folk came and went and the late season addition of Shaun Suisham only served to make Folk look like Gary Anderson. This team needs a kicker who can consistantly put it through the uprights. Pronto!

4. San Diego Chargers

How It Ended: The Bolts continued their string of January lumps in the throat with another postseason no-show against the Jets.

What Happens Now: When you're one of the worst rushing teams in the league, the running game needs addressing. LaDainian Tomlinson was given a reprieve of his horrible season last year and was allowed to come back so he can continue to look washed up this season. The buck probably stops here this offseason. By cutting the 31-year old Tomlinson, the team saves $4 million, which it can use to lock up jitterbug back Darren Sproles or even linebacker Shawne Merriman. Sproles is clearly not an every down back and the decision to pass on "Beanie" Wells will continue to haunt them. With so many young stars on this team, adding a franchise RB has to top the list if this team is going to challenge the AFC's big three(Indy/Pittsburgh/New England...though NE's time might be over). One name that could be interesting is Titans FA back LenDale White. White was a star at Southern Cal and with the emergence of Chris Johnson in Tennessee, he's clearly not coming back to Nashville. With so few openings for starting RBs in the NFL, White might find his free agent options limited and may pounce at the idea of being a star in the Golden State once again.

If they can nab a guy like White, the team can shift its focus to finding some more beef on the interior defensive line(Texas A &M's Terrance Cody comes to mind) or on the interior offensive line(Idaho guard Mike Iupati would be nice). A new coach would help, too, but that's a whole 'nother story.

5. Arizona Cardinals

How It Ended: After giving up 45 points in a thriller against the Packers, the Cards decided to do it again against the Saints.......only this time, Arizona couldn't drop 51 to advance.

What Happens Now: All signs point to former Heisman winner and 10th overall pick Matt Leinart taking the reigns from the retiring Kurt Warner. That's an obvious step back, and the eventual departure of WR Anquan Boldin certianly doesn't help matters. While the team can use some more help protecting its new QB with an infusion of talent on the offensive line, you clearly need to address the defense first when you give up 90 points in two games. The team already lost pass-rusher Bertrand Berry to retirement and have to make some free agent decisions on top guys like Karlos Dansby, Gabe Watson, and Chike Okeafor. The team might decide to keep Dansby(the hero of the Packers win) and Watson(a valuable big body inside) and let Okeafor find greener pastures elsewhere. That would mean the team needs to grab a couple pass rushers and perhaps find an upgrade in the middle of the linebacking core opposite Dansby(if he's retained). Alot will ride on what the team can get for Boldin if and when he's dealt and whether the team can have more solid talent fall to them much like Beanie Wells did last year.

6. Baltimore Ravens

How It Ended: The Colts quieted a one-dimensional offense and beat up an aging defense so bad, Ed Reed might retire.

What Happens Now: Age and a lack of depth could give the Ravens the grimest outlook of all the playoff teams. If Reed decides to hang them up, there would be no replacing him. Add that to the fact that the team already needed help in the secondary after watching their corners get burnt to a crisp all season. Legendary MLB Ray Lewis came back with authority this season, but how many great seasons does he really have left at 34?

On offense, if QB Joe Flacco is going to be a star in this league, he's going to need weapons other than RB Ray Rice. Top wideout Derrick Mason is thinking retirement and the guys behind him, Mark Clayton, Kelly Washington and Demetrius Williams, are free agents. That could mean the team doubles up in the offseason with a combination of Marshall/Boldin and a first rounder like USC's Damien Williams or LSU's Brandon LaFell. The team also needs to lock up LT Jared Gaither to shore up a much improved offensive line.

7. Green Bay Packers

How It Ended: In a blaze of glory. The Packers came back from down 21 at the half to force overtime and get their heart broke by a Cardinals team that was on the ropes at home.

What Happens Now: Like the Chargers, the Packers have enough young talent on both sides of the ball to be downright dangerous the next few years. QB Aaron Rodgers has proven to be a top 3 QB. RB Ryan Grant has come on as a franchise back, and the recieving core is four deep with Donald Driver, Greg Jennings, James Jones and Jordy Nelson. Plus, the team found a potential stud in young TE Jermichael Finley. On defense, Clay Matthews Jr. was absolute steal at the end of the first round last year and they have the reigning Def. POTY in aging Charles Woodson.

That being said, even with the improved performance down the stretch, the offensive line needs work. The Packers need to snag one of the top left tackle prospects, be it Oklahoma's Trent Williams or Iowa's Bryan Bulaga. The team can also use some depth on the interior as well as injuries forced them to do some shuffling throughout the season.

On defense, longtime franchise pass rusher Aaron Kampman will probably be allowed to walk as he's not a fit for the team's 3-4 scheme. The same might also be said of former Pro Bowl corner Al Harris, who was lost for the second straight year with an injury and is a bit long in the tooth at 34. If Harris goes, locking up backup Tramon Williams becomes a priority, as does signing Pro Bowl S Nick Collins long-term(and hard-hitter Atari Bigby, as well). The Packers will enter next season with potentially only four starters over 30(Woodson, Driver, Mark Tauscher and Chad Clifton), but even with all the fresh legs, depth is going to be a huge concern.

Another underlying issue will be the return game. Return specialist Will Blackmon is a free agent but, like Harris, has had his injury woes. The team can hope to find a guy to replace Blackmon in the draft but will more than likely try to keep him.

8. New England Patriots

How It Ended: Bad karma came back to sting the overly-aggressive Patriots in the form of the punishing Ravens defense in one of the most embarressing playoff losses in New England history.

What Happens Now: The team gets Tom Brady a full year recovered from ACL surgery, so perhaps that goes a long way to helping the offense. What won't help the offense will be the recovery of Brady's top target, Wes Welker, who tore his ACL and MCL in a meaningless Week 17 loss to Houson. With Welker not being completely right and continued concerns about Randy Moss' effort, the once electrifying Patriots passing attack looks like it might be grounded. Speaking of the ground, the team will probably cut ties with RB Laurence Maroney who subconciously tried his best to get booted out of Beantown. That means going back to the drawing board and bringing in a new rusher as current holdovers Fred Taylor and Sammy Morris are a bit too old to carry the load. That could mean a guy like Georgia Tech's Jonathan Dwyer or Heisman runner-up Toby Gerhart. The offensive line is going to need some adjusting, especially if Brady continues to develop happy feet in the pocket.

As for the defense....well, it doesn't look good. The Leigh Bodden/Shawn Springs experiment didn't work so well and the team has yet to develop a young corner through the draft the way it did with guys like Asante Samuel and Ellis Hobbs. The front seven is a mess, with the only real standouts being ILB Jerod Mayo, DE Ty Warren and NT Vince Wilfork(whose a free agent). Adalius Thomas is probably on the next thing smoking out of Belichick-ville, and one has to wonder if that means the team will take a look at free agent pass rusher Julius Peppers. With the Jets and Dolphins nipping at their heels, this offseason more so than any other, leaves very little room for error for The Boston Hoodie and company.

9. Philadelphia Eagles

How It Ended: Philly laid down to division rival Dallas in back-to-back weeks, first in Week 17 in a game for the division title and then in the Wild Card round. Both losses should have been the end of the Andy Reid Era, but alas, we get one more year of Big Red.

What Happens Now: Time to decide on a QB. Is it going to be embattled starter Donovan McNabb? Annointed heir apparent Kevin Kolb? Or the wild card, ex-con Mike Vick? We can probably take Vick out of the equation, as his starting days will probably not be in Philly(Washington, perhaps?). Reid has said that McNabb's his guy but you have to wonder just when Donovan is going to ask to get out of Philly, where he's constantly under fire. The same goes for Kolb. After showing flashes of competence in relief, it has to be irritating for him to continue to play McNabb's caddy. Reid knows his fate lies with McNabb, which is why this will be the final show for both if they can't produce on all the promise that has been generated since their arrival in '98.

Beyond the signal caller issue, there's the possible retirement of RB Brian Westbrook(which is somewhat padded by the presence of "Shady" McCoy) and a newfound focus on fixing the defense after years of adding offensive weapons. After addressing their big needs on the offensive line last year with Jason Peters and Stacy Andrews, the team now needs to fix some holes on the D. The team really missed Brian Dawkins in centerfield and will have to fight Dallas as well as others for a guy like Taylor Mays. The team is also hoping to get better health from the linebacking core as things went downhill once Stewart Bradley went down in camp. The Eagles have solid depth at corner and on the defensive line and, on paper, they will be once again considered a threat for the Super Bowl. The biggest issue, though, will be how dangerous the formidable Eagles will be to themselves if they make another postseason run.

10. Cincinatti Bengals

How It Ended: Like the Eagles, the Bengals held their hands behind their back facing an opponent for the second time in as many weeks. First, the Bengals pulled out quicker than a kid on prom night in their shutout loss to the Jets. Then, Gang Green beat on the Bengals once again in Cincinatti in the Wild Card game.

What Happens Now: After finding their franchise back in the most unlikely of places(former Bears castoff Cedric Benson), the Bengals need to breath some life into their once powerful air attack. Head coach Marvin Lewis put the shackles on former #1 pick Carson Palmer, playing it safe all season to avoid injury to his franchise QB. The result was a offense that lacked a punch beyond Benson's hard-nosed running. After spending three draft picks on wideouts in the event they'd lose star wideout Chad Ochocinco, the Bengals are now stuck in a quagmire where, not only is Ochocinco still present, but there is nobody around to complement him. The team lost Chris Henry to a tragic accident and the rest of passing game seemed to die with him. Andre Caldwell showed signs of promise, but is still wildly inconsistant and Missing Persons is still searching for youngster Jerome Simpson. Even if the team can find a viable partner for Ocho, that becomes moot if they don't lock up Benson to a long term deal.

On defense, the Bengals possess an underrated cornerback tandem in Jonathan Joesph and Leon Hall. They also hit home runs in the draft with linebackers Keith Rivers and Rey Maualuga. The focus now will be shoring up the defensive line, where the team saw its pass rush zapped once sack leader Antwan Odom was lost for the season. Greg Hardy is an interesting prospect out of Ole Miss but a guy who could really bring a pass rush is USF's George Selvie. The team can also make a play for Packers' FA Aaron Kampman, who starred for years in the 4-3.

Conference Championship Picks

Well, the perfect postseason came to an end as both myself(Dave, who came in 4-0) and Gabe went 2-2. With three games remaining, I have to go 2 for 3 to finish above .500. Anyway, you know the drill. Here's our conference championship picks.



Last Week: Dave 2-2, Gabe 2-2



Season: Gabe 140-117-5, Dave 128-129-5



Jets (+7.5) at Colts



Dave: Jets- This game gives me far too many flashbacks of the Packers-Giants NFC Championship in 2007. The Jets are the mighty underdog that got hot at the right time and keep pulling off upsets with the time-honored playoff tradition of running the ball down your throats and a steady defense(ala the '07 Giants) and the Colts are an offensive juggernaut with the battle-tested quarterback who look too good to slip up against an inferior opponent at home(just like the Packers were).



When the Colts decided to rest their starters midway into their Week 16 clash with these same Jets they did two things: 1. They pissed off the Jets and 2. By deliberately blowing a chance at 19-0, the Colts managed to overshadow the fact that, even with their first team in, the Jets were giving them fits. (They also helped get the Jets into the playoffs by laying down. So, I guess they accomplished three things). Every conventional school of thought would go against a team led by a rookie QB and a rookie head coach making the Super Bowl....but that's the beauty of the 2010 Jets: they go against the grain. In a league that has become pass-dominated, they win by running it. While teams like Indy fluster opposing QBs with bookend pass-rushers, the Jets don't have a single edge rusher you gameplan against. Sure, in theory, the Colts should have no problem with a Jets team whose blueprint is eerily similar to the Ravens team they just demolished last week(run-based offense, QB not a passing threat, hard-hitting blitzing 3-4 defense, playmaker in the secondary you always have to account for), but again, the Jets wipe their ass with logic. In a year where the Yankees are World Champs, "Jersey Shore" is a nationwide TV phenomenon and the Nets and Knicks look like big-time players in the LeBron Sweepstakes, why can't Gang Green continue the magic carpet ride and fly into Miami? Even if they don't pull off the upset, I like this one to be very close.

Gabe: Colts - The Jets are going to want to keep this game in the 17 to 20 point range. They are going to want to run the ball and play great defense, and keep the Colts offense off the field. That's a great plan, but here's the problem - the Colts don't need to be on the field that much to score. The Colts have a quick strike offense that can cover eighty yards in four plays if they have to. Plus, Peyton Manning is getting to see the Jets defense twice in one month. If they blitz, he'll throw quickly. If they play zone, he'll carve them up. I think at some point in the game, and it could happen anytime, the Colts are going to score quickly a couple of times and the Jets won't be able to recover. The Jets are not a play-from-behind team. Also, I think the Colts defense is going to be able to pressure Mark Sanchez. Last, the crowd noise is going to be a big factor. The Jets are going to have to rely on hand signals and looking into the ball on offense. I expect a few illegal procedures and false starts, especially from the offensive tackles. I'll take the Colts to win, 28-17.



Vikings (+3.5) at Saints



Dave: Saints - I make a lot of half-brain declarations that I end up paying for down the road but, even with that said, let me take the time out(since we only have two games to cover) to plead with Vikings fans for a minute.



Dear Vikings fans......be prepared. Be prepared for the inevitable Brett Favre Playoff Collapse. Remember how I referenced the '07 NFC Championship earlier? You know how that game ended? With Brett Favre tossing a pick in overtime right in Corey Webster's bread basket. Trust me on this one, as a longtime Packers fan, Brett Favre has tortured more Cheeseheads during the postseason than Dick Cheney tortured Arabs during the Bush Administration. Favre is as much a mortal lock to come undone in the postseason as Scarlett Johanson's top in a romantic comedy. He's better at delivering a stomach punch than Mickey Ward. Maybe it doesn't happen here in New Orleans(Side note: All the Favre-slurping media fools wouldn't stop harping about Favre going back to the Superdome, where he won his first Super Bowl, and the significance of it. Um, why don't you check Favre's career track record in domes before you go thinking "The Riverboat Gambler" is somehow untouchable in Louisiana), but it will happen. Favre will get caught up in the moment and he will do something extremely stupid...and you will see people from all walks of life jump off the Vikings bandwagon like Mark Wahlberg jumped off that cliff to dodge the falling car in The Big Hit. So, please, Vikings fans, as much as I will love watching Prince crumble into a ball of tears like the video for "When Doves Cry", I am giving you fair warning: When it comes to Brett Favre in January, temper your expectations. Remember, if you think the karma gods are out to fuck Indianapolis for warming the bus prematurely in Week 16, don't forget that karma is not too happy with Favre's retirement flip-flop either.



Also, how can anyone in their right mind root against a post-Katrina Saints team playing for a chance for the Super Bowl at home? Saints by 10.

Gabe: Saints - The Saints have too much rolling in their favor for this not to happen. They are going to have even the most casual fans rooting for them because, like Dave said, how can anyone root against them post-Katrina? They are, for as long as they stay alive in these playoffs, America's team. Drew Brees (Drew Breeeeeees!) is playing out of his mind right now, as he has most of the season. The Saints offense is a machine that can't be stopped. Their defense is going to be motivated, especially Darren Sharper, and will be looking to cause havoc on and get turnovers from Old Man Favre and the rest of the Minnesota offense. AP has not been running well and Percy Harvin is hurt and might not play. Also, the crowd noise is going to be a huge factor in this game too. Some of the Viking defenders were actually talking about wearing ear plugs for this game. That is a bad sign. It only take a few offsides penalties to make a defense start playing tentatively. All of that being said, I think Favre wills the Vikings into playing well because that man has been here before. I think the Saints win with a late touchdown, 31-24.

And God, could you imagine the ratings for a Colts-Saints Super Bowl? Even my wife would be interested in that one.

Milk Carton All-Star of the Week: 1/20/2010

As if getting trampled 34-3 by the Vikings wasn't enough pain for Cowboys fans, I figured I would throw in another kick while they're down by honoring one of their own as this week's Milk Carton All-Star.

..

The man seen before you is two-way star Chad Hutchinson. Hutchinson's initial claim to fame was as a pitcher, most notably with the St. Louis Cardinals(where he pitched all of four innings and gave up 11 runs). Frustrated with his lack of success on the diamond, Hutchinson was wooed by Cowboys owner Jerry Jones to bring his mediocrity to the NFL. The fact that Hutchinson was tall, wore the #7 and went to Stanford naturally garnered him all the unnecessary "Next John Elway" hype from Cowboys fans and the media.

..

In 2002, Hutchinson battled for the starting QB job with Quincy Carter, which Carter inevitably won and then lost mid-season after he let the crack do the talking in a heated exchange with Jones on the sidelines. Hutchinson's numbers in the 9 games he played that season were expectantly horrid: 50% completion percentage, 7 TDs, 8 INTs, sacked 34 times.

..

It would be the last significant time he would see as a Cowboys starting QB. In 2003, Hutchinson threw all of 2 passes, completing 1 for 8 yards. He was then sent to NFL Europe before being released after new czar Bill Parcells brought in Vinny Testaverde and Drew Henson in 2004. Hutchinson would end up with the Bears after Rex Grossman(back when he was oft-injured Rex Grossman and not 4-INT Rex Grossman) suffered yet another season ending injury. Hutchinson took over for Kordell Stewart(Quick! Let's see how many mediocre QBs we can fit into this blog! Someone yell out Spergeon Wynn!) and his numbers in his five games with Chicago were slightly better than in Dallas: 57% completion percentage, 4 TDs, 3 INTs, sacked 23 times.....in 5 games.

..

After Grossman went down yet again in the preseason in 2005, Hutchinson emerged as the starter but was inevitably pulled for a young rookie QB out of Purdue named Kyle Orton. Hutchinson would drop all the way to fourth on the depth chart behind sure-fire Hall of Famers Jeff Blake and Kurt Kittner. Hutchinson would "retire" at the end of the 2005 season(Translation: Nobody was stupid enough to sign him again) and that was the last we heard from him.

..

So let's give a large golf clap for the man heralded as "The Next Elway" but ended up "The Next Cade McNown"......Chad Hutchinson, everybody!

Slip-ups, Blunders and Uh-Ohs

Eventhough it has only been three days since you've last heard from me, a lot has happened. I figured rather than hinder BoomRoasted Nation(all 12 of you) by splitting everything up into its own seperate piece(as well as rack my brain trying to come up with witty titles), I'll tackle everything at once. Consider this like one of Gabe's "Things I Learned" blogs.....but much, much longer.

1. Mike Greenberg: On the scale of "How Racist Is That?", ESPN personality Mike Greenberg's tongue slip on Monday(in which he inadvertently said what sounded like Martin Luther Coon instead of Martin Luther King...on the air, on the birthday of the most famous African American leader in this nation's history, no less) is probably four shades down the rung from the remarks by conservative blowhard Rush Limbaugh(to be more precise, since Limbaugh says a bunch of non-sensical things, the statement in question is Limbaugh's theory back when he worked at ESPN that the media is desirous for a black QB to succeed), eight steps down from Don Imus' "nappy headed hoes" comment and about twenty steps down from any joke D.L. Hughley's ever told.

So why am I bringing this up? Because even though our society has made great strides in blurring the lines between races(most notably, finally electing a black President not named Morgan Freeman), we have reached the peak of racial sensitivity. You can almost smell the shoe polish on Al Sharpton's gators as Big Al was getting ready to storm Bristol before Greeny could correct himself. Do I think Mike Greenberg is a racist? No. Do I think a slip-up like this can be blown out of proportion by a nation fueled by fake outrage? Absolutely. Watching the clip a couple of times, it seems Greenberg's brain fart was unintentional, but in 2010, that nor his apology afterwards. At the end of the day, it's a white man making what sounded like a racial slur about one of the most influential men(black or white) in this world's existance. You can't just supress that with an "I'm sorry, I was talking too fast." . Again, I don't think Greenberg was trying to be maliciously racist as Imus was with his crack against Rutgers' women's basketball or Limbaugh with his shot at McNabb(or any black figure, for that matter), but it only takes a spark to set off an explosion and the longer ESPN waits to nip this thing in the bud, the more steam it will pick up.

2. Coaching Mishaps: We had some re-signings and hirings in the football world this week(including the two men I thought should have been canned Sunday: Wade Phillips and Norv Turner). We'll get to them one at a time.

*Buffalo: Reports leading up to and following the Bills hiring of former Georgia Tech head coach Chan Gailey were that Buffalo's suits were looking for a offensive-minded coach with pro head coaching experience. Gailey fits that bill, I suppose, although keep in mind that Gailey was canned by the lowly Chiefs in this past preseason. When a team that only won two games the previous season and finished 24th in total offense says "We think we can handle this without you", how exactly is that a ringing endorsement for a head coaching job? Sure, Gailey is an offensive mind with head coaching experience.....so is Brian Billick(former coach of the SB champion '00 Ravens). So is Jim Fassel(Billick's opponent in said Super Bowl). Hell, so is Marty Morninweg(whom ESPN The Mag was touting as the next hot new coach, despite sucking out loud when given the job in Detroit).

The importance of head coaching experience is vastly overrated. Leslie Frazier doesn't have coaching experience and all he's done is turn the Vikings into one of the best defensive units in the league(just ask Dallas). Ron Rivera's never been a coach, but his teachings led the Bears to the Super Bowl a few years ago. You know who else didn't have coaching experience prior to getting their first head coaching job: Sean Payton, Jim Caldwell, Brad Childress and Rex Ryan. Otherwise known as the head coaches of the four teams vying for the Super Bowl on Sunday. What exactly have we seen out of Chan Gailey that makes us believe he's the right man for this job? And what more do guys like Frazier and Rivera have to do to prove to people they are worth being the top guys on the sidelines?

*Dallas: When reports were surfacing that Wade Phillips' contract option was being picked up next season prior to the Vikings' beatdown, I had a small hunch that even last Sunday's no-show wouldn't change Jerry Jones' mind(even as I was writing that night that Phillips had to go). Unless Jones got a green light from Bill Cowher, there was nobody that Jones would have felt comfortable enough replacing Phillips with....not even the man Jones put in place as the successor: Offensive coordinator Jason Garrett. Now come reports that Phillips has been given a three-year extension(which Phillips has denied). Granted, I've been a bit hard on Phillips over the years. He's done a fine job shepherding the defense and the Cowboys have been considered legit contenders every year despite Wade's presence on the sidelines.

The bigger problem I have, if this extension report is true, is what happens to Jason Garrett now? I agree that Garrett isn't the hot candidate he was last year, but you have to think his stock will rise is Phillips succeeds over the next couple years, don't you? Even if Garrett isn't as popular as he once was, he has to be better than Tom Cable in Oakland or Eric Mangini in Cleveland, right? If Garrett grows frustrated in the apprentice role(and, as of yet, there's been no indication that he has) and decides to bolt to any number of head coaching jobs that could open up, be it college or pro, and Phillips falls on his face next season, then what do the Cowboys do? You have to think if Cowher was even remotely interested in working under Jones, he'd be there as we speak, right? Jerry Jones is not the smartest of men, but he's not dumb enough to pick Wade Phillips over Bill Cowher, right? So if the earlier scenario occurs(Wade flops, Garrett bolts), aren't you looking at the same crop of candidates(Rivera, Frazier, etc.) you are right now?

*San Diego: In Wade's defense, at least he managed to notch the Cowboys' first playoff win in 13 years. What exactly has Norv Turner done lately to justify his CONFIRMED three-year extension? After leading one of the hottest teams into the postseason tournament, Turner's Chargers proceeded to get smacked in the mouth by a Jets team that came thisclose to missing the playoffs. Again, you can place most of the blame on kicker Nate Kaeding, but the fact remains that Turner(an offensive artist) couldn't muster enough points to force a run-oriented Jets offense to start slinging the pill. On a team with a Top 3 QB, a top 3 TE, a top 15 WR and a RB who was at one point the best back in the league, Turner has managed to lead this group to all of NO Super Bowl appearances. Mind you, this is the same organazation that bounced the surprisingly well-liked Marty Schottenheimer after a 14-2 season because he flunked in the playoffs(and, perhaps more importantly, didn't get along with his higher-ups).

If you're a Chargers fan, how do you feel about Turner getting a three-year extension less than a week after choking away a serious shot at the title to a Jets team that its own coach considered dead three weeks before the playoffs? Now, again, if Cowher isn't interested(and there hasn't been any sign that San Diego even flirted with that idea), then it's at least somewhat understandable to stick with Norv if they weren't enamored with a guy like Rivera or even Frazier(who would move the team from a 3-4 to a 4-3, if hired) just yet, but isn't worth at least sniffing around? Could there be less enthusiasm over the upcoming Chargers season now that we all know Turner's back and seemingly not going anywhere for a while?

3. NBA All-Star Game: Boston Celtics guard Ray Allen took some fire the last couple of days for suggesting that fans should only count for 50% of the All-Star vote and the other half should be divided between players and coaches. I don't like that idea....I LOVE that idea.

It's hard to give credence to an All-Star voting process where two of the highest vote getters are Tracy McGrady(who barely played to start the season and then was sent home a month ago while awaiting a trade) and Allen Iverson(who also didn't play in the first month and then retired, and then came back to Philly). It's not like Allen is trying to take the power out of the people's hands entirely, he's just wanting to defer the vote to people who are actually watching the games. How can a man who is not even wanted by his own team be wanted on a All-Star team? And how can a man who couldn't even get minutes on a lowly Grizzlies team be so worthy of votes? I like AI. I like T-Mac. They haven't been All-Star worthy since 2004. Tracy Morgan deserves to be more a part of All-Star Weekend than Tracy McGrady.

Here's where the fans should get an 100% vote: The Slam Dunk Contest. Fans got themselves all in a tizzy when LeBron James announced in the preseason that he would make a special guest appearance in this year's Dunk contest. Then, just as he will do to Cavs fans this summer, he ripped their heart out by changing his mind. What I propose the NBA does with a rather mundane Slam Dunk contest is this: 8 players, facing off one-on-one, tournament style, with all members voted in by the fans.

This way, the once-great Slam Dunk contest gets the biggest names and fans actually get a contest worth watching. And, by making it one on one, it makes the competition more personal as dunkers will be really trying to outdo their opponent as oppose to just trying to outscore a battle royal of contestants. Another hitch in the rules: If you opt out of the Slam Dunk contest, you don't play in the All-Star game. Maybe you aren't hitting big time stars hard by keeping them out of a meaningless exhibition game, but how good of a PR move will it be if Kobe Bryant decides to turn his back on the fans and selfishly sit out All-Star weekend just to avoid the dunk contest? How well do you think that will go over? The Dunk Contest has suffered from a lack of name recognition. As great as Nate Robinson has been the last few years, he doesn't put asses in seats like, say, a Josh Smith or even a Vince Carter does. If you're looking for a reason to watch TV on a Saturday night, are you more likely to tune in to see Shannon Brown vs. Eric Gordon or Carmelo Anthony vs. LeBron James?

Other tinkering I would do to All-Star Weekend:

*Have the same rules I just applied to the Dunk Contest apply for the 3-point shootout. Now, I can understand there being concern that some idiot decides to be funny and vote Kevin Garnett into the 3-point contest, which is why fans would only be able to vote on actual long-range specialists(Same thing goes for the Dunk Contest. As entertaining as Steve Nash vs. Jason Kidd would be, they won't be on the ballot).

*Get rid of all the other events. Nobody cares about how fast Deron Williams can dribble, shoot and pass and nobody really wants to see Lisa Leslie play HORSE with Chris Mullin. As for the Rookies-Sophomores game, isn't one meaningless exhibition enough? If you're going to have an event with celebrities and meaningless exhibition games, why not bring back the old Rock N Jock basketball games that MTV perfected during the 90's(only, this time, without Dan Cortese please)? If you're going to make me watch real ballers and athletes dribbling up and down the court half-assed, why not give me something halfway entertaining like Seth Rogen trying to post up Carlos Boozer? You go 8 players a team(3 athletes, 3 celebrities and a couple kids from the stands....no more than one athlete on the court per team at the same time) and 5 minutes a quarter. Shit, you can even bring back the 25 point bucket. Wouldn't that be more entertaining than DeMar DeRozen dunking on Anthony Randolph? I thought so, too.

4. New Jersey Nets: The question nowadays isn't whether the Nets are the worst team in recent memory. That's a given, considering they are on pace to go 6-76. The question now is whether Devin Harris, Brook Lopez, Chris Douglas-Roberts and the possible selection of John Wall (as well as the presence of minority owner Jay-Z) is enticing enough to bring LeBron James to the Garden State/Brooklyn.

My gut feeling is no. Even if the Nets snag Wall and he's every bit as good as his billing, it's hard to see him and King James co-existing with one rock(especially when you add in Harris, who likes to jack it up as well). If James doesn't sign with the Nets this summer(and I truly believe his best bet is with the Clippers, even with their string of bad luck and racist owner), how bad of a stretch are the Nets in for over the next couple years? For one, they don't even know where they'll be in the next couple years, as they still await the NBA's approval on a deal selling the team to Russian billionaire Mikhail Prokhorov(who will then finally move the team to Brooklyn, something Jay-Z and company have struggled to do). Even if they are able to draft Wall, is he a franchise changer like James was with Cleveland or Tim Duncan with San Antonio? More importantly, if they can't get Wall, what big-time free agents would come to a team that is one of the worst in the sport's history? You think Dwayne Wade, fresh off demanding the Heat to become a contender, would leave Miami for this motley crew? You think Chris Bosh is passing up going home to Texas to bang the boards for Wall's errant jumpers?

As a long-time resident in the state of New Jersey, I'm used to the infamous stench surrounding the Meadowlands, but this foul smell might be far worse than anything to ever touch the Jersey airs and its a scent that might continue to linger for years if this season's tank job blows up in their faces.

In Over Their Heads

Two weeks from today, Chargers head coach Norv Turner and Cowboys head coach Wade Phillips will represent their respective conferences as head coaches in the 2010 Pro Bowl. It could be(and should be) their final day in that respective position.

Phillips and Turner were both unceremoniously dropped out of the playoffs today: Phillips in a 34-3 thrashing by the Minnesota Vikings, Turner in a 17-14 upset loss at home to the Jets. Turner's loss is considerably more shocking given the fact that a. they were at home and had won 11 straight, b. the Jets made the playoffs only after the Colts and Bengals laid down for them in the last two weeks of the season and c. the spread for tonight's game moved San Diego from 7-point favorites during the week to 8.5 point favorites by kickoff.

Truth be told, the fact that Turner's made it this far might be more surprising than anything. Turner was brought in a couple years ago, despite failing in Washington and Oakland previously as a head coach, when irreconcilable differences between former coach Marty Schottenheimer and GM A.J. Smith led to Schottenheimer getting canned after a 14-2 season and a loss to the Patriots in the playoffs. Turner's calling card was offense, particularly pounding the run and establishing the deep ball. This season, he went 1 for 2. Under Turner's tutelage, QB Phillip Rivers took yet another step forward into super stardom and establishing himself as an MVP candidate and one of the 3 or 4 best QBs in football. Conversely, the running game sucked out loud, mainly because of Turner's belief that 31-year old RB LaDainian Tomlinson still had some juice left in his legs. He was wrong. By the end of the season, there was more life left in Britney Murphy than in LT's once-legendary feet(perhaps he used it all up doing "The L.T. Glide"?)...and now LT(owed $4 million next season at age 32, following his first sub-1,000 yard season) will probably following Turner out of San Diego.

In fairness to Turner, he lost a three point game to a very good team after his historically accurate kicker Nate Kaeding shanked not one, not two but three kicks. Say what you want about Norv, but he can't kick the field goals, too! Unfortunately, it would be hard for Turner to still remain in charge of the Bolts considering the number of solid coaching candidates out there(including the guy roaming the same sideline as Turner: Defensive coordinator Ron Rivera). In a what have you done for me lately league, Turner has managed to not make the big game despite having LT for at least one of his prime years and having a budding air attack led by Rivers and his arsenal of Vincent Jackson and Antonio Gates.

As for Phillips, his death knell was the fact that he took the job in the first place. Phillips signed on to replace Bill Parcells as coach knowing full well that he was merely a stop gap for young offensive coordinator Jason Garrett(whom owner Jerry Jones hired first and made it known that Garrett would eventually take over before even starting a head coaching search that ended with Phillips....mainly because nobody else would be dumb enough to take the job under those circumstances). Why Phillips wasn't canned last year after missing the playoffs despite having an offense loaded with stars like QB Tony Romo, WRs Terrell Owens and Roy Williams, TE Jason Witten and RB Marion Barber is beyond me, especially after they ended the regular season by getting stomped out by division rival Philadelphia and then watching the Eagles claim the final playoff spot. Now Phillips will spend the offseason wondering about his job security after another playoff dismantling as well as not only Garrett breathing down his neck, but former Steelers coach Bill Cowher on the outside looking in.

Again, let's be fair to Wade as well. HE wasn't the one who made that god-awful trade for stone-handed receiver Roy Williams(that would be Jones, who dealt a 1st, 3rd, and 6th to Detroit for Williams, who wasn't even that good with the Lions). By trading what eventually became the 20th overall pick in the 2009 Draft, here's who Dallas missed out on: Ole Miss left tackle and ROTY runner up Michael Oher and ROTY WR Percy Harvin. While in Round 3, the Cowboys missed a shot at Mike Wallace, a speedy wide receiver who was breakout star for the Steelers this year. Tell me, Cowboys fans, would you rather have Williams, who was a complete non-factor against Minnesota(much like he's been since coming to Dallas) or Percy Harvin? When Tony Romo was getting sacked 6 times by the Minnesota's aggressive D, did the question "What if we had taken Michael Oher?" ever come up at all? Again, not Wade's fault, and you have to give the man credit for improving the defense(which if Phillips forte), especially during the closing stretch of the regular season.

Still, for all the mistakes that weren't his fault, Phillips was still unimpressive, at best, as head coach. His decisions were clearly that of a guy trying too hard to impress the boss. Phillips was like the middle child in a rich family trying to show his daddy that he's every bit as good as his wildly successful older brother(Cowher) and his young prodigal sibling(Garrett). While Phillips' contract reportedly will be picked up for next season, that decision was made before the Minnesota game and wasn't exactly set in stone. With Cowher still looming for Jones to make the googly eyes at, you have to wonder why Jones would endure another season of Phillips roaming the sidelines, mouth wide open, looking dazed and confused, when he can use Phillips' failure to not only snag a future Hall of Fame coach in Cowher but to also trump rival Daniel Snyder's hiring of Mike Shanahan in Washington?

So if you're looking for a interesting reason to watch what will surely be a lackluster Pro Bowl, now you have one: one last nostalgic chance to watch two head coaches who were better off as coordinators going at each other in a meaningless exhibition game that will have a lot more meaning to the men calling the shots.......because it will probably be the last time they get to do so.

Divisional Round Picks

The good news: After a nearly month long streak of dropping stink bombs week after week with my picks, I(Dave) finally got back into early season form and went 4-0 to start the playoffs.



The bad news: I came into the post season down 14 games to Gabe with 11 to play, which pretty much made aforementioned 4-0 Wild Card record meaningless.



Anyway, here are our picks for Round 2



Last Week: Dave 4-0, Gabe 2-2



Season: Gabe 138-115-5, Dave 126-127-5



Cardinals (+7) at Saints



Dave: Saints - With the Packers out of the playoffs, I'm officially rooting for the Saints from here on out, as well as a Saints-Chargers Super Bowl. Actually, I'm pretty much rooting for anyone but Dallas because, quite frankly, Cowboys fans overreact after even the most marginal of wins the way an old lady's bladder overreacts when she gets nervous. Both scenarios are quite annoying and should be avoided at all costs. As for the showdown where defenses will be left on the sidelines, this game comes down to Drew Brees not doing what Aaron Rodgers did last week: Giving the ball to Kurt Warner and his offense on a short field by turning it over. Neither team is prolific running the ball(though it's nice that Duece McAllister is back for N'Awlins) and neither team plays enough defense to think that this won't be another shootout like last week's Packers-Cards Wild Card(*tear*). I think people are sleeping on the Saints because of the way the last three weeks played out for them, and it's hard to bet on a team that choked away a 21-point lead at home and needed a fumble in overtime to advance. Saints by 10.

Gabe: New Orleans - If there were a theme to my picks this week it would be "Rest vs. Momentum." That is the chic question to ask during this round of the playoffs. I typically lean towards the team with momentum rather than the team that hasn't played in two weeks, or in the case of the Saints, hasn't played meaningfully in three or four weeks. I am going against that philosophy in this game for one reason...Kurt Warner. These teams are remarkably similar. Great quarterbacks, elite receivers, below average running games, and incredibly pourous defenses. The difference is in the quarterbacks. Drew Brees and Kurt Warner are both accurate qb's who can tear up a defense, but Warner is old and less mobile. I think this game is going to be a shootout but the Saints D is going to be able to get to Warner more than the Cards get to Drew Brees. So I'll take the Saints, led by (it's been far too long) Drew Breeeees, to win by 9.



Ravens (+6) at Colts



Dave: Ravens - Even with a week(or three) of rest, it's hard not to expect this game to be close given a. the Colts don't have much of a D to stop Ray Rice, b. the Ravens D will be smacking Peyton Manning in the mouth routinely and c. Joe Flacco sucks out loud. The Colts could bog down on the run and force Flacco to beat them, but that would make too much sense. Peyton throws a couple of picks but I think this is inevitably won on a late field goal. Colts by 3.

Gabe: Colts - I am once again going against my tendency to pick the team with momentum. The Ravens will not be smacking Peyton Manning around. Somehow that guy magically doesn't get hit. The layoff means the Colts will be well rested and, more importantly, they'll have had time to watch film and breakdown the Ravens schemes. Manning is the best at reading the defense and reacting. I think it is going to take the Colt's a little time at the beginning of the game to knock the rust off, but after that I think they'll cruise. Now, is it possible that during the "rust-knocking-off" time the Ravens run wild and build up a 17 point lead, sure, just ask the Patriots about that. I just don't think that is going to happen. Colts by 7.

Cowboys (+3) at Vikings


Dave: Cowboys - I'll tell you what: I'll allow you to Google Brett Favre's famous playoff performances in '98(Super Bowl against Denver), '01(against the Rams), '03(against Atlanta), '04(against Philly) and '07(against Gabe's Giants) right now, if you promise to come right back when you're done laughing. Also, Google Adrian Peterson's fumble history. Man, this really goes against my hope that Dallas won't make the Super Bowl. Cowboys by 7 in a coaching disaster-piece by both squads.

Gabe: Cowboys - The more I think about it, the more I think this might be the easiest game of the weekend to pick. People always want to talk about the Vikings elite offensive personnel. They have AP and an aging Brett Favre, but outside of them, who scares you? A rookie wide-out? A tight end who at one time was the 3rd tight end on the Giants' depth chart? Now look at the Cowboys...Tony Romo is playing the best football of his life right now. Miles Austin is playing great. They have Marion Barber and Felix Jones running the ball. In addition, and this might be the most important, they have Jason Witten. If I had a secondary theme for the Sunday games it would be "uncoverable tight ends."

Ok, now please allow me to put my football nerd hat on for the rest of this. Everyone talks about the Vikings defense and the numbers they put up. Well, last week, in their first four plays, the Cowboys came out in four different formations. The Cowboys have the offensive personnel to be able to deftly switch from a basic two RB-two WR set to 5-wides with an empty backfield to two tight ends, and so on. This throws a defense way off. It creates match-up problems for a defense and it makes them hesitate and think about their assignments. Oh, and the Cowboys defense is pretty good too. Cowboys by 10.

Jets (+7) at Chargers

Dave: Jets - The Chargers are the masters of epic fails when it comes to the playoffs, which makes my preseason Super Bowl pick of them winning the Super Bowl(as well as the potential of picking the champion for the 2nd year in a row) tenuous at best. San Diego struggles against the run, which is the one thing the Jets do well. On top of that, better receivers than Vincent Jackson have struggled on how to figure out the combination to beat Master Lock Revis, which means the game comes down to whether the Jets can stop Antonio Gates. I say they can't, but a heavy dose of Shonn Greene and Thomas Jones wears down the clock and keeps it close. Chargers escape a nail biter, and win on a late missed field goal by Jay Feely. Chargers by 2.

Gabe: Chargers - I know the Jets are the sexy pick this weekend. I don't like them for a few reasons. One, travel. The Jets have to go all the way across the country for this game. That always has an effect. Two, their defense. That's right, their crazy good blitz first defense. I don't think they match up well with San Diego. Let's say Darrelle Revis does his thing and takes Vincent Jackson out of the game. Who is going to cover Antonio Gates? (Remember what I said about uncoverable tight ends?) Who is going to cover 6'5" Malcolm Floyd? They still have LT and Darren Sproles coming out of the backfield. And, they have Philip Rivers delivering the ball to all of those guys. The Jets are going to want to control the ball with their running game and keep the game in the 17 to 20 points per team range. I don't think they'll be able to keep the Chargers offense down. Chargers by 9.

Tiger Vs. The World

A few weeks ago, we crowned Alex Rodriguez's steroid scandal as the "Story of the Decade" by default as Tiger Woods' domestic disturbances was too fresh as the decade neared its closure to possibly overtake A-Rod. That meant Tiger, as has become his nature throughout his career, was the leader in the clubhouse in terms of "Story of the Decade: 2010-2019".

That led to this question: With a fiasco of this magnitude happening to the world's biggest sports star, what could possibly happen that would be bigger than Tiger-gate? So far, in 2010, we've had these big stories: Gilbert Arenas' gun case and the likely end of his NBA career(although, like Woods, that happened near the end of '09), Lane Kiffin jilting Tennessee after one season to replace Pete Carroll at USC, and Mark McGwire's steroid confession. That's not exactly what you would call earth-shattering developments(In fact, Conan O'Brien's upheaval from "The Tonight Show" might have been a bigger deal than the aforementioned three).

Lucky for you, we here at Boom Roasted Sports, have come up with three scenarios salacious enough to drop Tiger on his ear.....and here they are:

1. LeBron James Pulls A Jay Williams: Amongst the male population, LeBron James' impending free agency is one of the most anticipated moments of 2010, second only to Miley Cyrus' 18th birthday(which is approximately a week and 10 months away........not that I'm counting or anything). The only thing that could derail such a momentous occasion would be if somehow LeBron was unable to play in the NBA in 2010 or, for greater effect, ever again. Obviously, you never want to wish ill on anyone and I certainly wouldn't do so on a likeable guy like King James, but, hypothetically, what if LeBron was to suffer a career-threatening injury prior to his grand coronation this summer? When talking about young athletes who left the game too soon, names like Sean Taylor or Len Bias or most recently Chris Henry tend to come to mind. All of those men died, however. What if LeBron had to spend the rest of athletic prime watching highlights and yucking it up on TNT with Charles Barkley and Kenny Smith?

Again, I would never wish a serious injury to someone like LeBron, but what would be a bigger blow to a floundering company like the NBA than the sudden retirement of its biggest star, in his prime, just before he was poised to turn a big market team into a potential dynasty? Sure, the NBA has plenty of ubur-talented guys like Dwight Howard, Chris Paul, Kevin Durant and Dwayne Wade, but none of them have the potential for global recognition that LeBron has. LeBron is this generation's Michael Jordan, minus "The Asshole Gene" - A likeable prodigy whose athletic gifts, personality and charisma make him loved the world over. Imagine if he ended up like Jay Williams.

For those too young to remember, Jay Williams was an All-American point guard at Duke, who many were touting as the second coming of Oscar Robertson. At least, that's what the Bulls were hoping when they took him with the 2nd overall pick in 2002. However, just as Williams' career seemed to be on the rise, he suffered serious injuries to his legs and torso after a bad motorcycle accident and went from potential superstar to ESPN analyst in the span of three years. If, God forbid, something like that were to happen to "The Akron Hammer", the NBA would become just another league filled with freakish athletes nobody cared about. In other words, they'd be the NHL.

2. Derek Jeter Comes Out of the Closet: I can just hear the rants of the PC police now: "You're so homophobic! Who cares if Derek Jeter is gay!?". First of all, imaginary protesters I just made up, keep in mind that certain areas of this country weren't even ready for a black President. In the macho world of sports, the same holds true for a potentially gay superstar athlete. If you think Jeter gets an earful of nasty, mean-spirited heckles from crass Red Sox fans now, imagine if it was revealed that the sports world's biggest cooz hound was a member of the rainbow committee.

Now, when I first typed this up, Jeter had not yet agreed to marry model/actress Minka Kelly, but now that the wedding date is set, it gives the Jeter Coming Out scenario that much more impact. For one, single women are already torn up that Jeter's off the market, but if he was all of a sudden no longer into women? There would be riots down Madison Avenue! Speaking of outrage, can you imagine the aftermath of the inevitable "Jeter Is Gay" front-page cover on The New York Post? First, you'd have a never-ending smattering of interviews from teammates and fellow players from Albert Pujols down to Khalil Greene weighing in on what they think about playing with a now openly gay superstar athlete. You'll get the obligatory John Rocker interview, in which Rocker continues to bury himself deep into the annals of baseball's irrelevance with his venomous bigotry. You'll get at least one ESPN anchor and/or old-time ballplayer-turned-analyst getting canned for siding with Rocker(In the latter case, I'm giving Pete Rose even money). You'll get the NY tabloids ushering out a daily dose of interviews from former Jeter conquests, in which they tell stories about how "they always had a hunch Jeter was gay", as well as the constant rumors about a Jeter-A-Rod gay tryst.

Look, I have no problem with gay people. I'm all for gay marriage. I have plenty of openly gay friends, but if we've learned anything over the years, it's that many Americans still get their news from bigoted idiots like Rush Limbaugh or Fox News and still feel that the thoughts of morons like Pat Robertson have validity. Could America be ready for an openly gay athlete in the near future? Possibly, but as we found out with Barack Obama's inauguration, we never know how open-minded this society is until their ignorance is put to the test.

3. Peyton Manning Steroid Scandal: So much of the bad publicity of performance-enhancing drugs has settled in baseball and, to a lesser extent, cycling and the Olympics. We never really think about what would happen if a major athlete in a sport like football or basketball was outed for steroid use. With the sheer size and speed of football players these days, it's actually amazing that the NFL isn't getting the lion's share of steroid accusations. The biggest steroid fuss in recent memory was when the NFL suspended Chargers' linebacker Shawne Merriman for alleged steroid use and that seemed to blow over immediately.

Would the same hold true if this time the name on the positive steroid test was four-time NFL MVP Peyton Manning? Why would Manning be such a big deal, you ask? Well, besides the fact he has the potential to end his career as the greatest football player the NFL has ever seen, Manning is also the NFL's biggest commercial whore(and if you don't believe me, just wait til Super Bowl Sunday). Manning's 60-inch head has been everywhere from Oreo commericals to DirectTV ads to Saturday Night Live. Plus, Manning's track record thus far has been squeaky clean. Originally, when crafting this scenario, I used Brett Favre because no athlete has garnered more unneeded attention than "The Riverboat Gambler" over the past half-decade. However, Favre's selfish antics the last two years have taken some of the luster off his shiny standing with the fans and has turned even the most loyal supporters against him(like me or, more importantly, Peter King). Plus, with Favre having a comeback season at 40, would a steroid fiasco really surprise you? Didn't think so.

So let's say this conspiracy holds true and Manning, seeking a way to finally topple nemesis Tom Brady and the pesky Patriots, decided to seek an edge by dabbling in the world of HGH. For one, ESPN anchors are falling over themselves to get the first crack at a Manning interview with Chris Mortenson and Adam Schefter trading haymakers in the green room. Chris Berman goes on another tangent much like his "Hasn't anybody worked on TV before?" rant of a few years ago that was all over YouTube. Bob Costas starts asking Jennie Finch for advice on what kind of softballs he should hurl at Peyton when he finally sits him down for a confession. As for Manning, it will be the blueprint for all pre-rehearsed, cliche-riddled, "I'm sorry I let the fans down" speeches from here on out. It would be as if he got pointers from Crash Davis.

Once the Manning Apology Tour comes to a close, the endless array of analysts debating whether Manning's records should be erased and whether his Hall of Fame candidacy still exists will go on for at least a good six months. There will be a number of Bill Simmons' columns filled with snarky remarks and hand-ringing. There will be Eli, Archie and even Cooper Manning seated at a table for a press conference telling the media how they will handle Peyton's drug use as a family as if Peyton was caught in a whore house sniffing coke off a hooker's nipple like Bill Bellamy in Any Given Sunday. Let me stop before I give Jose Canseco another idea for a book.

(Side note: The original list of scenarios was five but a. we were already at 2,000 words and b. somehow, I don't think "Michael Jordan Pulls An O.J. " would have went over too well. You can only piss off so many fan bases, you know, so you'll have to settle for these three.)

Now Entering: The Steroid Wing

Mark McGwire's steroid admission was about as surprising as finding out Mariah Carey was liquored up before babbling through her acceptance speech at the Palm Springs International Film Festival. I would've been more surprised if you told me Ryan Seacrest was gay or that Mo'Nique didn't use a fat suit for her role in "Precious".

The truth is, anybody with common sense had to have their suspicions that McGwire was getting help from something other than a treadmill. The man's body grew like a Chia Pet from when he first entered the league in 1986 to when he shattered the single season home run record in 1998. McGwire backers through the years had been quick to point to McGwire's first full season, in which he belted 49 homers and earned Rookie of the Year honors, as proof that McGwire always had the God-given talent to hit the long ball. That very well maybe true. The problem is, like many great steroid-addled hitters of the last two decades, we'll never know just how great of a career these guys would have had if they never would have touched the juice.

I appreciate McGwire for coming clean. Lord knows he could have pulled a Pete Rose and just sat in denial for decades until he finally saw enough personal gain to admit to his mistakes. Instead, McGwire knew that his return to baseball as the Cardinals' hitting coach would have led to a daily grilling from reporters about his infamous unwillingness to talk about the past to Congress and whether that was an indication that he was a cheater. It's funny that the same people who profited from McGwire's PED-infused exploits in '98 are the same people who couldn't wait to thunder away at Big Mac after he clammed up on Capitol Hill. Everyone is willing to keep McGwire out of the Hall of Fame, but somehow, authors like Mike Lupica aren't willing to give back royalty money from the books they wrote about the summer of '98. Fans aren't demanding their money back for the tickets they bought to watch McGwire knock 'em out of the park. TV networks never cursed the big ratings that came from McGwire's pursuit of Roger Maris' 61. All of a sudden, with a simple non-committal, Mark McGwire was the baseball version of John Dillinger.

So what happens now, you ask? One word: Cooperstown. Slow down, people, I'm not endorsing McGwire's induction into the Hall of Fame. After all, even with all his towering homers, McGwire's still only a lifetime .263 hitter whose crowning achievement was breaking the record of a guy who is not even in the Hall of Fame himself. However, with the admissions of guys like McGwire and A-Rod and other juicers of note(and you have to think Barry Bonds can't be too far behind with his own confessions), it brings up an interesting question about just how we will choose to remember the last two decades of baseball. If the Hall of Fame is truly a museum of the sport's history, how can we just delete nearly twenty years of baseball? Who are we going to have stand as the symbols of our generation? Derek Jeter? Randy Johnson? Greg Maddux? Please. Those guys only tell half the story. Steroids in baseball is too prominent a factor in the sport's history to just go ignored.

That's why I propose Cooperstown opens up "The Steroid Wing". A shrine for all the great players of the last two decades whose achievements will be picked apart like Britney Murphy's autopsy and whose records will be slapped mercifully with asterisks. It's the perfect compromise of remembering baseball's great cheaters, while not angering the purists by mixing them in with the Lou Gehrigs and the Hank Aarons of the world. It allows baseball to put faces on one of the darkest eras in the sport's existence and gives guys with remarkable, albeit tainted, careers their moment to shine. Otherwise, sports reporters will be spending the next decade debating the Hall of Fame candidacy of Dennis Martinez and Andres Galarraga.

Trust me. It will be much easier to walk through Cooperstown with our grandchildren and point at the busts of guys like Manny Ramirez in "The Steroid Wing" and wonder what could have been than to pretend as if they never existed.

Milk Carton All-Star of the Week

The Milk Carton All-Star of the Week had been a slight leave of absence the last couple of weeks, thanks to internet issues by both Gabe and I, as well as the drama of the end of the NFL regular season and the Gilbert Arenas/Tiger Woods sagas.

.

Well, now, we're back with 2010's first "All-Star" as well as the possible son of Rocky villain Ivan Drago: Bobby Sura.

.

Sura was the 17th pick of the 1995 NBA Draft, a Draft that was more notable for stars like Kevin Garnett, Rasheed Wallace, and Jerry Stackhouse as well as for abject nobodies like Shawn Respert, Ed O'Bannon and Bryant "Big Country" Reeves. Sura spent his 10-year NBA career being the token white guy on a number of teams. He started off on Cavs team that had plenty of token white guys like Dan Majerle and Danny Ferry, as well as a number fringe NBA stars that make you say "Oh, I remember him...." like Terrell Brandon, Harold Miner and Tyrone Hill(who was so damn ugly, not even gay teammate Jon Amaechi would have fucked him).

Sura was actually a combination of token white guy and "Oh, I remember him..." as his most prominent NBA impact came as a throw-in on numerous NBA trades. In June of 2000, he was part of draft-day trade that sent him to the Golden State Warriors, Jason Caffey and Billy Owens to the Bucks and J.R. Reid and draft bust Robert "Tractor" Traylor to Cleveland. A couple years later, Sura was dealt to Detroit, where he was united with taller, twin brother Darko Milicic, in exchange for Clifford Robinson and Gabe's cousin, Pepe Sanchez. The most notable trade Sura would be a part of came in a year later when Sura was sent to Atlanta along with draft picks(one of which, turned out to be Josh Smith) for Rasheed Wallace. Wallace's arrival in Detroit would start a Pistons dynasty, leading to two Finals appearances and one championship.

.

As for on the court, Sura was pretty much forgettable. He was 32% shooter from behind the arc, 41% from the field and a career scoring average of just under 9 points per game. His best years came in his final season in Cleveland(where he averaged nearly 14 points a game) and his first two seasons with the Warriors(where he averaged double digits in scoring both years).

.

So let's give a round of applause for the poor man's J.J. Reddick......Bobby Sura, ladies and gentlemen!

Greatest Game Ever Played?

It's over.

Those were the words I uttered to my wife after Kurt Warner hit Larry Fitzgerald on a 33-yard scoring strike on the opening drive of the second half to make it a 21-point game in last night's Packers-Cardinals Wild Card showdown for the ages.

We can debate for days about what would have happened if Mike Adams gets called for a facemask penalty after his raking of Aaron Rodgers. That's what you do after a heartbreaking loss. You play the "What if..." game. However, if one is going to play the "What if..." game, it should be less on the questionable no-call on the game's final play and more on these three moments:

*What if Aaron Rodgers doesn't try to do too much on the game's first play and doesn't throw that bad pass that ends up in the hands of Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie? Say what you want about how the game ended, the real debate is how the game started. Rodgers gave a explosive Cardinals offense great field position just one play into the game. Then, on the Packers' second pass play of the game, Donald Driver fumbles the ball striving for extra yards. Just like that, it's 14-0 Cardinals. You take away those two plays, perhaps it's a different ballgame. Perhaps it's more like the Packers-Cardinals game of a week ago, and less like the Packers-Steelers game of a month ago, where defense was optional and the game came down to who could make a play when it mattered.

*What if Rodgers doesn't overthrow Greg Jennings on the first play of overtime by about two yards? As much as the Rodgers fumble that led to the Karlos Dansby TD will stick in the minds of all those who watched as the signature moment of one of the greatest playoff games of all-time, that play never happens if Rodgers hits Jennings deep over the middle when Jennings had the defense behind him and nothing but the end zone and Saints next week in front of him. Look, I'm not putting the game on Rodgers. He played beyond the expectations of even the most delusional Packers fan, setting a postseason record with 422 passing yards in his postseason debut. That being said, there were times when Rodgers played like a guy who felt like the world lied on his shoulders. That was evident in the first play of regulation(the tipped pass that ends up in Cromartie's hands) and the first play of OT(where Rodgers got a little too excited and missed Jennings' fingertips by a mile). You could make the case that perhaps Packers' coach Mike McCarthy should have slowed things down a bit after a second half of back-and-forth scoring drives and utilized RB Ryan Grant a little bit more instead of going for the kill on the first play. After all, the more rest you give a defense that was getting mutilated, the better, right? The overthrow clearly stuck in Rodgers' head(a fact he admitted to afterward) and that's what led to him reverting back to the Rodgers that took bad sacks and held the ball too long in the first half of the season, which led to him coughing up the fumble(that, and Adams' eye rake, but I digress).

*What if the refs don't botch the blatant offensive pass interference call on Larry Fitzgerald on the final score of the third quarter? If Packers fans are going to be in an uproar over bad calls, they should drop the "facemask-tuck rule" debate that went on for hours after the game and focus on the refs completely missing Fitzgerald bowling over Charles Woodson on route to making one of his trademark diving catches on Warner's lame duck pass into the end zone after Warner was clobbered by Cullen Jenkins. Jenkins made a case after the game that he felt he was held on the play, so you wonder why there wasn't more of a stink on the fact that the refs apparently missed two big calls on the same play in a game that was a shootout. Now, do the Cardinals score if Fitzgerald is called for interference instead for a touchdown? Probably. Who knows? But, to me, the missed call that every seems to be in agreement over(SI's Peter King even mentions it in his Monday Morning Quarterback piece) has to be Fitzgerald pulling a Bo Jackson on Woodson before changing directions and hauling in the pass for the 11-yard score. Maybe Woodson makes a play on it if he's not on the ground, maybe he doesn't, but that was a terrible miss in what was a surprisingly close game.

So, yeah, it's easy for Packers fans to sit and sulk the rest of the offseason, but I will not. Fact is, five minutes into the third quarter, the Packers were down three scores and ended up overwhelming the defending NFC champs over the next 25 minutes and forcing overtime where they came withing two yards of playing New Orleans next week. Aaron Rodgers, for all the criticism following last season about his inability to close late in games, took over the second half and brought the Pack back with his legs and his arm. If last night didn't make you a believer that Rodgers is one of the three best QBs in football, nothing will.

As for what happens now, there's two things to be optimistic over. One, of the Packers 22 starters, only six are over the age of 30(Aaron Kampman, Al Harris, Charles Woodson, Donald Driver, Chad Clifton, Mark Tauscher.....and many expect Kampman, Harris and/or Clifton to not return next season). Second, of the team's six losses to five teams, two of those teams will potentially have new QBs next year(Arizona, who will lose Kurt Warner to retirement, and possibly Minnesota, who could see Brett Favre ride off into the sunset depending on how the rest of the playoffs shake out). The possible departure of Favre is the most intriguing because a. Backup Tarvaris Jackson is a free agent and certainly won't come back if Favre does(not that Jackson was effective anyway) and b. other than a surplus of rookie QBs, there's nobody out there that can potentially replace Favre that would scare Green Bay(except maybe Donovan McNabb).

That being said, there's work to be done. The team needs to enter next season with some youth on both offensive tackle spots(good youth, too, like Iowa's Bryan Buluga or someone of that ilk), some improved depth in the secondary(because you can't expect Al Harris to go strong after his second straight season-ending injury and there's nothing behind Tramon Williams) and another pass rusher to go opposite Clay Matthews Jr(because Brad Jones and Brandon Chillar are serviceable, but they don't scare you like, say, a Julius Peppers). The team also needs to make a decision on who's returning kicks for them next season. Will Blackmon is fine return man, but he's oft-injured and, clearly, Jordy Nelson can't fill his shoes. Maybe the Packers can finagle Josh Cribbs out of Cleveland or look in the draft at a Joe McKnight or a (gulp!) Noel Devine.

The moral of the story is this: Last night's thriller left us all speechless but the Packers, even in defeat, said a mouthful with their performance. They're young. They're talented and they might be the scariest team in the NFL over the remainder of this decade.