Milk Carton All-Star of the Week

With the NBA Finals in session, it would be only fair if we chose to give the most prestigious weekly award to someone who is no stranger to the Finals.

If you were to look up "generic Caucasian NBA center" in the dictionary, there would be a picture of former Utah Jazz center Greg Ostertag and his Roger Maris-esque crew cut(although, depending on where you pick up the dictionary, they might have a picture of Bryant "Big Country" Reeves.) Ostertag was the 28th overall pick of the Jazz in the 1995 NBA Draft. Ostertag was a product of Kansas University, a school that prides itself on showcasing goofy, uncoordinated white centers like Ostertag, Raef LaFrentz and Nick Collison. Truth be told, Ostertag might have been more known to the general public if he told people he was the guy who played Habib Marwan in Season 4 of 24.

Ostertag's NBA career was -how do I put this nicely - uneventful. He never averaged more than 7 points a game in his 11-year career(all but one of it with Utah, the final year being in Sacramento). He never averaged more than seven total rebound a game(Although, to be fair, Ostertag shared the paint with one of the greatest power forwards of all-time: Karl "The Mailman" Malone. There wasn't much room for Ostertag to showcase his talents, if they ever existed, with Malone being the focal point of the offense. Granted, that doesn't take away from the fact that Ostertag was paid handsomely to be a 280lb carcass for 11 years, but I digress.). Ostertag's career totals were 4.6 points and 5.5 rebounds(or as Keon Clark would call it, a career year). Ostertag did get to play in two NBA Finals with Utah, as he spent the '96-97 and '97-'98 season trying to look more awkward under the basket than fellow pasty-faced teabag Luc Longley. The Jazz inevitably lost both Finals, succumbing to both the greatness of Michael Jordan and the referees' unwillingness to call a foul on a MJ shove on Bryan Russell that was Ronnie from Jersey Shore-esque.

Ostertag made his biggest contribution in 2002, when he donated his kidney to his ailing sister Amy, who was dying of kidney disease. Unfortunately, most of the body parts that made Ostertag a 7'2 robot still remained.

So let's give a round of applause for Cole Aldrich's role model......Greg Ostertag, everybody!