NBA Finals Preview

We will learn nothing.

Looking for a fearless prediction for the NBA Finals, which start tonight in L.A., there you go. If you read my piece on the Finals on ProSportsBlogging.com (shameless plug), then you know I'm not too enthused about the latest edition of Lakers vs. Celtics in the NBA Finals. We've seen this movie before. Matter of fact, we've seen this movie only two years ago. Nothing has changed. Kobe Bryant is great. We knew that two years ago. Phil Jackson is a mastermind. We knew that two years ago. The "Big Three" of Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and Ray Allen know how to perform like a cohesive unit during the postseason. We knew that two years ago.

If there's anything new in this year's Finals, it's the emergence of Celtics point guard Rajon Rondo. Rondo went from young up and comer in the 2008 Finals to legit Top 3 point guard over the last month or so. He is, unquestionably, the Celtics' biggest X Factor. If he plays against the Lakers like he did against Cleveland, with 400-year old Derek Fisher in front of him, then the Celtics' streak of owning the Lakers will continue. Really, though, that's it. Two years ago, we had the rebirth of the Lakers-Celtics rivalry, the first L.A.-Boston NBA Finals since 1987. Two years ago, we had Kobe Bryant attempting to win his first ring without Shaq. Two years ago, we had "The Big Three" trying to win their first ring...period. All of those plotlines have been checked off. Boston beat L.A. in 6 games in 2008. The Lakers came back last year and Kobe won his first post-Shaq title. So, instead, we are left with a retread of a good movie. It's like finally unwrapping that DVD copy of "The Departed" that's been sitting on your desk for two years and re-watching it. Will you be entertained? Sure. Will you learn anything new? Probably not. So, since I don't feel like stepping on my PSB column and I don't want waste any more time rambling about a Finals matchup I clearly am not excited about, let's have some fun instead.

2010 NBA FINALS: FUN WITH NUMBERS

32 - The number of combined NBA championships between both the Lakers and Celtics

12 - The number of times the Lakers and Celtics have met in the NBA Finals including this year.

9 - The number of times the Celtics have beaten the Lakers for the NBA title.

7 and 13 - The number of times that Lakers guard Kobe Bryant and Lakers coach Phil Jackson, respectively, have made the NBA Finals including this year.

4 and 10 - The number of titles Bryant and Jackson have, respectively, as player and coach.

6 - The number of rings Bulls legend and former Jackson pupil Michael Jordan had when he retired.

1,436 - The number of times you will hear broadcasters mention Kobe's pursuit of Jordan's 6 rings during the Finals.

2 - The number of times Celtics forward Paul Pierce will take a hard foul and milk it like he'd been shot with a sniper's bullet.

12 - The combined number of minutes of air time Pierce will get as he overacts and grimaces on the floor as physicians tend to him.

8 - The number of technical fouls, give or take, both teams will acrue in these Finals

5 - The combined number of those 8 techs that will belong to Lakers nutjob Ron Artest and Celtics loose cannon Rasheed Wallace. The other three will go: Kendrick Perkins 1, Pau Gasol 1, Doc Rivers 1.

10 - The number of times the broadcast team will mention Celtics assistant Tom Thibodeau as a head coaching candidate in New Orleans, Chicago or New Jersey.

2,398 - The number of times the broadcast team will mention LeBron James' free agency plans.

35 - The number of threes Ray "Jesus Shuttlesworth" Allen will hit in this series as he gets closer and closer to conning the Celtics(or some sucker) into overpaying him this summer.

AWARDS

Most underrated storyline of the Finals: The fact that Ron Artest and Rasheed Wallace will be playing a high-stakes seven game series for the NBA Championship - The reputation of Ron-Ron and 'Sheed precede them. You have to expect there will be at least one or two moments of frustration Artest will have when Pierce gets the best of them and Ron goes ape shit. You can also expect there to be at least one or two moments where a call goes against Wallace and 'Sheed starts ice grilling the refs with that Manson glare. If there is any reason for me to tune into these Finals, it will be the potential of mayhem when the NBA's two biggest headcases share the floor.

Storyline That Was Big in 2008 But Won't Matter in 2010: Andrew Bynum - When Boston was abusing Pau Gasol and the rest of the Lakers inside, back in '08, some wondered if things would be different if young, emerging center Andrew Bynum wasn't sitting around in street clothes. Two years later, Bynum is nothing more than a run of the mill center on a very good team. There's a chance Bynum flashes his immense potential and becomes the X Factor for L.A. that Rondo was/is for Boston. That chance is dependent on his tricky knees not getting the best of him. Of course, the same can be said for Kevin Garnett, but Kevin Garnett has an excuse as he's 12 years older than Bynum. Bynum will be defended by a solid post defender in Kendrick Perkins which, on top of the fact that Bynum doesn't have much of an offensive game, will pretty much minimize the Lakers' Shaq heir apparent. By Game 4, the Lakers will find out that Bynum can't hang with the big boys and will be looking for someone beefier to man the middle......and that person will be Khloe Kardashian-Odom.

The X-Factor: Rajon Rondo - What Rondo did to Cleveland was nothing short of incredible. He wasn't nearly as breathtaking against Orlando and, with Kobe probably guarding him for most (if not, all) of the series, Rondo might not put on the show in the Finals that the Celtics are hoping for. Kobe guarding Rondo frees up Ray Allen to drop bombs on the Lakers(much like he did in '08). I guess that makes Allen the X-Factor of the series, but the Celtics don't beat L.A. if Rondo doesn't prove himself worthy of Kobe's attention. If he puts up triple doubles like he did against Cleveland, Kobe will be too spent on both ends of the floor to carry the Lakers. However, Kobe didn't get his rep as one of the game's best defenders by accident. Rondo's in for a challenge.

My Take To The Bank Prediction, courtesy of Bank of America: At least one game will be decided by either a Ron Artest bone-headed technical foul or a Rasheed Wallace rushed three pointer. Trust me on this one. Wallace is so in love with his jumper that he'd take it to Vegas and put a ring on it, if he could. The man wants no part of banging inside. He's a glorified small forward. As for Artest, his bad history with the refs is going to work against him at some point in this series. It's the Finals. The pressure is on and you know Artest will be feeling it. This series will be the one people who hated the Artest-Ariza swap will point to if Ron-Ron loses his cool and the Lakers get spanked by Boston yet again.

The REAL Prediction: Lakers in 7 - Look, I know Boston owns L.A., but this Lakers team is a bit deeper than it was in '08. Even if Bynum turns out to be just a big body, he at least gives the Lakers six extra fouls to use. Artest is going get in Pierce's grill and, provided he can maintain composure, that combined with Kobe guarding Rondo will limit the Celtics' two biggest scoring options. For the Celtics, the series comes down to "Can Kevin Garnett's knee hold up?" and Ray Allen's ability to expose Derek Fisher. If the Celtics show their versatility and show the Lakers they have too many options on offense, the Celtics will win their 18th title. However, if the Lakers can man up on D(something they couldn't do in the Phoenix series), then I like them to edge this one out. My MVP is obviously going to be Kobe, as I expect him to evoke the ghost of MJ and get his payback on Boston from two years ago.

Regardless of how it shakes out, I assure you, we will learn nothing.