There's a Place in France....

...where players yell at coaches and the president has to tell soccer players to practice.

One of the biggest stories coming out of this year's World Cup final is the implosion of the French side. The team is loaded with talent, was in the championship game in 2006, and had every reason to believe they would do well in this tourney too. But...they didn't.

We here at Boom Roasted Sports like to think we are of the people. We like to help. So here is a helpful timeline of the French team, from qualifying to their return home with their tails between their legs.

Let the fun start....

November 2009 - France beats Ireland in qualifying on the strength of Thierry Henry's handball (pictured above) and the win gets Les Bleus a spot in the World Cup final. Cheaters.

April 2010 - An underage prostitute admits to servicing Franck Ribery and two other players on the French national team. There's a "grass on the field" joke in there somewhere, but I'm not as good as Dave at coming up with such things.

April 20th - A really smart guy at Boom Roasted Sports said the French are "crazy talented but fragile psychologically," and predicted they would get beaten in the group by Mexico. (Excuse me while I pat myself on the back.)

June 4th - France loses to China in their final warm-up match before the Cup. There are reports even then of dissent and players not supporting the coach's tactics.

June 10th - On the eve of their opening match against Uruguay it is announced that Thierry "Fingers" Henry will start. It is reported that he had argued with manager Raymond Domenech until he was inserted into the line-up. Florent Malouda also argued with his coach, reportedly.

June 11th - France ties Uruguay in their first match. Malouda gets dropped after the game and refuses to support Domenech while sulking, which in France means drinking champagne, making snide comments, and smoking while holding cigarettes underhand.

June 17th - With many Irish fans in the stands pulling for Mexico, France gets smoked by El Tri, 2-0. At halftime of this game Domenech and Nicolas Anelka get into it. Anelka allegedly calls Domenech a "son of a whore," which is just as bad as calling someone anywhere else in the world a "son of a French whore."

June 19th - Anelka is sent home after the fight gets reported in the media.

June 20th - All hell breaks loose. The French team refuses to practice. The team director resigns. Domenech tattles and the president of the country is called in to make the team train.

June 22nd - Les Bleus get handled by the hosts, South Africa, and get bounced from the tournament. They go back home to France, presumably to drink champagne, make snide comments, and smoke cigarettes underhand.

There you go BRS fans, a handy dandy guide to French implosion. 'Til next time, reporting from South Africa (I wish) for Boom Roasted Sports, Gabe "Insert Cool Nickname Here" Rodriguez.