Week 3 Picks

Last week was a bit of good news, bad news for Gabriel "King Adobo" Rodriguez. Gabe dropped two more games last week to "The Big Rigatoni", thanks to some gutsy calls gambling on the Jags and Broncos. On the bright side, Senor Rodriguez managed to finish .500 for the first time this season with the help of some last minute heroics in both the Bills-Raiders game and Niners-Cowboys game that lead to both games being a push.

We now bring you our Week 3 picks, with Dave hoping to avoid an Atlanta Braves style chokejob of his now five-game lead on the season.

Last Week

Dave: 9-5-2
Gabe: 7-7-2

Season

Dave: 16-13-3
Gabe: 11-18-3

Patriots (-7) at Bills

Dave: Patriots - A surprising battle of the unbeatens. The Bills have been America's feel good story thus far as "The Little Engine That Could........Be Playing Its Home Games In Canada by 2014". Ryan Fitzpatrick has done what he can to quell all the Andrew Luck anxiety and Stevie Johnson is making people forget about the departed Lee Evans. That being said, New England hasn't lost to Buffalo since JaRule was relevant back in 2003. That's 15 straight L's for the Bills. My guess is that Tom Brady puts on a clinic on a surprisingly decent Bills D and makes it 16 straight. Pats by 10.

(Editor's Note: Gabe's feeling under the weather so, much like his Mets, he mailed in his picks before the games started. I didn't want to write his explanations FOR him so I just left the teams.)

Gabe: Bills - (He has Patriots winning...but only by 4).

49ers (+2.5) at Bengals

Dave: 49ers - The list of guys on an already anemic Bengals offense that are either hobbled or won't be giving it a go is pretty extensive. Rookie QB Andy Dalton is still a bit shaky. Rookie wideout A.J. Green is slowed by a foot injury. Fellow receiver Jordan Shipley is done for the season, while Jerome Simpson will play despite being busted on a pot charge. Someone who got busted and won't be playing is RB Cedric Benson, who is currently sitting out a three-game ban. The Niners have their share of scratches, too, making this the most unwatchable game of the week. WR Braylon Edwards is out and tag team partner Michael Crabtree continues to be slowed by a bum wheel. QB Alex Smith is coming off a concussion and RB Frank Gore is, well, Frank Gore, meaning he's a "questionable" waiting to happen. Still, if I'm forced to choose, I'm taking the points here, even if it means putting stock in a Colin Kaeparnick second half performance. Niners by 3.

Gabe: Niners

Dolphins (+1) at Browns

Dave: Dolphins - This game will give Bengals-Niners a run on the cringe scale in terms of watchability. I'm not overally impressed with the Browns and now, with Peyton Hillis out(MADDEN CURSE!!!!) with a strep throat, I'm even less enamored with them. The 'Phins, meanwhile, might be on to something on offense. Rookie RB Daniel Thomas made good on his sleeper buzz last week with a 100-yard performance against Houston and Chad Henne has been respectable, albeit barely average, finding guys like Brandon Marshall and Davone Bess. Look, this game is going to suck but my thoughts here is that Miami sucks a little less than a yet-to-make-due-on-their-sleeper-hype Cleveland team. Phins by 6.

Gabe: Dolphins

Broncos (+7) at Titans

Dave: Titans - A week after making me look foolish for taking them as AFC South champs, the Titans redeemed themselves by thumping a Ravens team that clearly spent itself trying to annihilate Pittsburgh in Week 1. This week, they get a Broncos team that may be one of the three or four worst teams in football. You have to think that, if Chris Johnson is going to wake up from his holdout-induced coma, it will be here against a poor Broncos run D. Matt Hasselbeck has proven he can still sling it and, even with a hobbled Kenny Britt, I see the Titans putting foot to ass on the lowly Broncos. Titans by 13.

Gabe: Titans

Lions (-3) at Vikings

Dave: Lions - I don't think we are talking about the Vikings enough as being maybe the worst team in football. Maybe it's because Adrian Peterson has managed to make Minny look less of a train wreck than Kansas City and Indianapolis but the Vikes have been dreadful in the first two weeks. The passing game no-showed against San Diego and Minnesota lost a game that the Chargers were trying everything short of gift-wrapping to give to them. Then, last week, they blow a 21-point lead to lose to Tampa Bay. Donovan McNabb is so washed up now that he might as well audition to be a California Raisin. The Lions, on the other hand, look every bit as good as the preseason hype machine built them up to be and I see them throttling their division rivals here. Lions by 17.

Gabe: Lions

Texans (+3.5) at Saints

Dave: Saints - Best game of the week and the only thing I can possibly think of why this game isn't on primetime is ESPN and NBC's hard-on for Tony Romo(playing Monday night) and Peyton Manning/Big Ben(the Sunday night clash, though Peyton is out). Arian Foster is out for the Texans, leaving the load in the trusty hands of Ben Tate. This game is going to be a shootout but I'm still weary of Houston if this game gets close late and they have to try to steal this one in the fourth in a hostile environment in N'awlins. My money is on Drew Brees here and I see a decent game from Mark Ingram as well. Why? Because I benched him for Daniel Thomas this week and karma's a bitch. Saints by 6.

Gabe: Saints

Giants (+9) at Eagles

Dave: Giants - Every Giant short of Jessie Armstead is hobbled or out for Gabe's Big Blue. Hakeem Nicks is iffy. Mario Manningham is out. New York loses a starter on defense seemingly every week. I have no reason to have faith in the Giants this week......but I do anyway. Here's why: If the Giants do anything well, it's rush the passer and run the ball. If Philly has shown any weaknesses this week, it's....wait for it...wait for it......protecting Mike Vick(already woozy from last week's concussion) and stopping the run. Do I see New York pulling off the upset? No, Eli is going to choke this one away. Trust me on that, but I see this being close because of the two-pronged attack of Ahmad Bradshaw and Brandon Jacobs and because we might see Mike Kafka again before this one's finished if New York applies pressure anywhere near to what Atlanta applied against Philly last week. Eagles win, but not by 9. Philly by 7.

Gabe: Giants

Jaguars (+3.5) at Panthers

Dave: Panthers - Newton! Gabbert! It's a battle of two guys who competed to be the #1 pick(with Newton inevitably winning)! Cam Newton put up another big game last week, in yet another losing effort, against Green Bay. Now, he gets a Jags defense that made Mark Sanchez look like Broadway Joe Namath last week. The Jags will lean on Maurice Jones-Drew heavy to take pressure off Gabbert but I like the idea of going with the rookie early instead of diminishing his confidence by forcing him to sit behind a stiff like Luke McCown. Still, Carolina has too much talent on the offensive side of the ball to not win this one. Panthers by 10.

Gabe: Panthers

Jets (-3) at Raiders

Dave: Raiders - I don't even want to call this an upset special because the Raiders may actually be good and the Jets may just be lucky. After whooping on Buffalo in the first half, the Raiders inexplicably took the foot off the gas and let the Bills back in a game they had no business winning. Now, they get the Jets....at home....and if last week didn't piss them off enough....head coach Hue Jackson made it a point to remind his boys about Mark Sanchez's "eating a hot dog on the sidelines" incident last year. The Raiders are going to be looking for revenge and, if Gang Green is legit, they'll stomp out Oakland on the road. My guess is the Jets' offense continues to sputter and the Raiders find a way to steal this one late. Raiders by 3.

Gabe: Jets

Ravens (-5) at Rams

Dave: Ravens - The hell happened to Baltimore last week? They went from being the only team playing defense in Week 1 to getting their teeth blasted by Tennessee in Week 2. Last week was a key sign why I get nervous about picking the Ravens to win it all each year: maddening inconsistency. This week, they get a Rams squad that's more battered than Manny Ramirez's spouse. Baltimore will look to avenge last week's disappointing performance and we'll see a steady dose of Ray Rice. Ravens cruise here, win by 14.

Gabe: Ravens

Packers (-4.5) at Bears

Dave: Bears - I'm just not taking the chance here by going away from the reverse jinx in a game Green Bay should win. The Packers started slow against Carolina last week and let Cam Newton go up 14-nil on them and then had to rally back to beat a lowly Panthers team that managed to cover with a garbage time touchdown. The Packers should be able to exploit a terrible Bears offensive line and Jay Cutler's worst games have come against Green Bay. That being said, these Bears-Packers games are always close and I see the Packers taking this one with some steady D and Mason Crosby's leg rather than an electrifying O and Aaron Rodgers' arm. Packers by 3.

Gabe: Packers

Chiefs (+14) at Chargers

Dave: Chargers - Do I have to go into detail here? Kansas City has been outscored 89-10 in the past two weeks, and that was to Buffalo and Detroit. I'm gonna say that, even with Malcolm Floyd out, the Chargers curbstomp a shockingly bad Chiefs team here at home. Chargers by 21....and that's being generous.

Gabe: Chargers

Cardinals (-3) at Seahawks

Dave: Cardinals - The Seahawks are just plain dreadful. Tarvaris Jackson is trying his damnedest to become the first QB to start in the NFL and UFL in the same year and, even with Sidney Rice possibly coming back, I don't see Seattle mustering up much offense to keep up with the Kevin Kolb/Larry Fitzgerald air show. Cardinals by 13.

Gabe: Cardinals

Falcons (+1.5) at Bucs

Dave: Falcons - Matt Ryan, much like his successor Mike Vick, has had his struggles with Tampa Bay so I'm taking the Dirty Birds here with extreme caution. My theory is that if Atlanta can keep up with Philly, granted with Mike Vick sitting most of the second half, then they can take one from the Bucs on the road. Tampa hasn't been able to bring too much of a pass rush despite all of its young talent on the defensive line and you don't want to give Matt Ryan that much time to throw. I'll begrudgingly take Atlanta here by 6.

Gabe: Falcons

Steelers (-10.5) at Colts

Dave: Steelers - Eww....just eww. That's how disgustingly bad this game is going to be tonight. The Colts look like a team that just wants to go on the clock now and tab Andrew Luck as their heir apparent to Peyton Manning. The offense looks befuddled with 100-year old Kerry Collins behind center and the defense looks like it couldn't stop a Pop Warner team. Bad drafting and too much reliance on one player will do that to you and, if the Colts were smart, we'd see Curtis Painter here at some point instead of hoping Collins finds the fountain of youth sometime this season. Steelers will roll here but, in typical Pittsburgh fashion, they'll look boring doing it. A rare snoozefest after two exciting SNF tilts. Steelers by 20.

Gabe: Steelers

Redskins (+5.5) at Cowboys

Dave: Redskins - No Miles Austin for Dallas, and Tony Romo, Felix Jones and Dez Bryant are all slowed with various ailments. Washington, if you can't pull off a W here, then you're a fraud. Lucky for Redskins fans(or, perhaps, unlucky for Redskins fans), I think Washington pulls off the win here against a battered Cowboys team and continues to rope in their delusional fan base into thinking they have a real shot this year. 'Skins by 10 while I go on Facebook hiatus Monday night to avoid all the "This is our year!" posts from my Redskins friends. Sigh.

Gabe: Cowboys