No Way, Jose!

I haven't rooted this hard for a Jew since Eric Bana played Avner Kaufman in the movie "Munich", but tonight, even with my Braves facing the possibility of choking away their once-strong Wild Card spot to the Cardinals, I will be rooting for Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun to go 3-for-4 against the Pirates to snatch away the NL batting title from Mets shortstop Jose Reyes.

The backing of Braun has less to do with solidarity for "The Hebrewer" and more to do with wanting to see a selfish prick like Reyes get what he deserves. In the last game of a contract year, Reyes(with a slight lead in the batting race over Braun and Dodgers triple crown threat Matt Kemp) bunted for a single in his first at-bat. Then, despite the fact his Mets are long out of the playoff race and surprisingly having no physical ailment to warrant early rest, Reyes bullied his way out of the ballgame to avoid a possible batting title-costing slump. Fellow ballplayers lauded the move, with the most damning being a tweet from Rangers pitcher C.J. Wilson calling the move "bush league".

As bad as the move was, Reyes' explanation, as well as the explanation of first-year manager Terry Collins, was even more aggravating. In the post-game interview, the Mets' speedster had this to say:

"I said 'If I go 1-for-1, take me out of the game.' And I did that. If I went 0-for-1, maybe I'm still in the game until I get a hit....I wanted to stay in the game, but (Mets fans) have to understand, too, what's going on. They have to feel happy about it if I win the batting title. I do that for the team, for the fans too, because they have been supporting me all the way through. I've (had) throughout my career a lot of ups and downs here with a lot of injuries. One thing I do all the time is give 100 percent all the time."

If you thought the stench from the busted sewage around the old Shea Stadium wreaked, then the pungent smell of the load of bullshit that emanates from that paragraph makes that rotten scent smell like fresh cut flowers. Let's be clear. Reyes pulling himself after the bunt single had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with Reyes giving back to the fans. Fans don't pay their hard-earned money to watch the star player on their favorite team, in perhaps his final game with the franchise, willingly take himself out of the game after one at-bat if he isn't hobbling like Kirk Gibson in the '88 World Series. Reyes pulling himself out after the base hit had EVERYTHING to do with maximizing his value come contract time. Fans couldn't give two shits if Reyes became the first player in franchise history to win a batting title. Not when the team is 24 1/2 games out of first. Not when the team has been a laughingstock for the past decade. Nobody remembers batting champions who hit .337. Hell, nobody remembers batting champions unless they're hitting .400. Anyone remember who won the NL batting crown in 2005? No? Me neither. (To save you the time of Googling it.....it was then-Pirates infielder Freddy Sanchez. Who? Exactly.).

Reyes did what he did because he thought in that little pea brain of his that somehow a newly-minted batting title will con some team into paying top dollar for a oft-injured leadoff hitter with no pop and a suspect glove. The thing is, batting title or not, someone will pay him big money this winter. We've seen teams overspend on guys who are more sizzle than steak(See Werth, Jayson). In an effort to line his pockets with gold, Reyes spit on the game. That's why today's nonsense should be a bigger deal. For the past decade, Bud Selig, Congress, sportswriters, radio jocks have talked our ear off about the purity and sanctity of the game and how steroids was such a black cloud over baseball eventhough everyone who now criticizes it benefited from it. Reyes pulling out of a meaningless baseball game to secure a batting title nobody will remember he won two years from now taints the title for me if Braun somehow doesn't put on a show against Pittsburgh tonight. In the history of self-centered, stat-padding moments in sports, it's right up there with Ricky Davis purposely botching a layup on his own basket in an attempt to notch himself a triple-double.

Reyes isn't the lone coward here though. Collins deserves every bit of the blame for allowing himself to be pushed over by a guy who might not even be in his locker room next season in Reyes. Collins' reasoning for pulling Reyes centered around not wanting to jeopardize all the hard work Collins had put in to earn the players' respect by denying one of his star player's wishes. In other words, Collins is a punk who got owned by a diva who will wipe his ass with all the respect Collins' accrued in that locker room with the crisp $100 bills he'll get from Washington or San Francisco or whoever overspends for Reyes this offseason. In an ironic turn of events, I'd love to see Braun take the batting title and cement what has been an MVP season for the left fielder and then have Milwaukee use the money it won't be using on Prince Fielder to bring in Reyes so that, every day, Reyes can stare across the locker at the man who DESERVED to be called the 2011 National League batting champion.

Perhaps we are overblowing this story. But if we are to believe that the decade-long witch hunt to eradicate baseball of the cheaters who desecrated the game and restore America's former pastime to the pristine condition historians like to believe it was once in before sluggers brought the syringes out, then maybe we aren't fussing enough. If Reyes deserves anything, he deserves credit for making us care about a single-season honor that will be rewarded to some guy who worked his ass off to hit .338. Braun vs. Reyes isn't Maris-Mantle competing for Babe Ruth's home run record in '61. Still, Braun's quest to topple Reyes is about what's right. It's about sticking it in the face of a selfish coward who saw nothing but dollar signs as he jetted down the first base line after what may be his last hit as a New York Met.

Another lousy Mets season ends the way it normally starts: With a Big Apple-sized amount of criticism and negative publicity.

You have Jose Reyes to blame for that.

A once-meaningless Brewers-Pirates season finale suddenly has significance tonight.

Hopefully, you'll have Ryan Braun to thank for that.

New Rules: Fall 2011

Nearly eight months have passed since I've added some new additions to "The Law of Dave", so I feel it's time to once again take a page out of Bill Maher's playbook and offer up some up some New Rules

NEW RULE: The NBA has to take this season off. Perhaps it's unfair to compare pro basketball's labor strife to that of their NFL counterpart, but you can't help but notice the lack of dread on social networks, on TV, and through general word of mouth that is being felt by the possibility of no basketball this season compared to the frenzy over the NFL shutting down in '11. Obviously, that's a testament to the NFL being far more popular than the NBA but it's also a matter of the NBA having far more issues than the NFL had. While both labor issues essentially come down to money, the NFL is proven to be a fine product when it's actually on the field. The NBA hasn't.

For one, the league has been split into two categories: small-market teams hamstrung by bad contracts and poor attendance and their big market brethren who have benefited from the cash woes of their financially dysfunctional cohorts by poaching its stars via trade or by throwing big money at them come free agency. It's why a team like Miami can become a powerhouse utilizing star players from Cleveland and Toronto, while those latter teams flounder in front of hoards of empty seats. There's no parity in the NBA. The worst thing that came from last year's LeBron sweepstakes is that it set a precedent for big markets to form superteams with a duo or trio of supremely talented young stars. It's why Carmelo Anthony left a cushy situation on a superior yet smaller market team in Denver to tag team with Amare Stoudemire(and probably Chris Paul, eventually) in the big city lights of New York. It's why prognosticators are forecasting center Dwight Howard to leave a Magic team that made the Finals two years ago and line up with Pau Gasol and Kobe Bryant in Hollywood. 85% of NBA fan bases know their teams don't have a shot to compete because they can't land premier free agents every summer like the Lakers or Heat or Celtics. Part of that is the players' fault, and part of that is that there are so few teams with cap space to bring in a Dwight Howard or a Chris Bosh because they screw themselves by overpaying average players OR they spend so much time thinning their roster to get cap space that the overall talent makes them unattractive to big time players.

That's only a small part of my problem with the NBA. The bigger problem is the game itself. The game of basketball has become a game of fast breaks. It's like NBA Jam without the oversized heads and flaming nets. Shooting is at a premium and good defense is as shocking and surprising to see as Nancy Grace's nipple on "Dancing With The Stars". The influx of one-and-done players has been so hit-or-miss, that the strategy of building through the draft is almost defunct. For every John Wall and Blake Griffin, there's a Greg Oden and Mike Conley. The overall talent has dwindled because college kids are chasing NBA dollars without bothering to learn fundamentals while college coaches, knowing they have nothing to entice their freshman to stay past one year, are either recruiting college seniors for hire every year or using their own incentives to lure in big fish. The need for a draft rule similar to the NFL's "three years removed from high school before applying for the draft" has never been more necessary than it is now. You can't tell me that, even with as great as LeBron has been from jump street, that he couldn't have benefited from three years at Duke or Ohio State or UNC. The NBA money will always be there for these kids but there's as much resistance standing between them and the pros as there is defenders in the lane stopping a drive to the hoop, which is to say little.

The game is in desperate need of a year off and some tinkering. You know why fans aren't blowing up Twitter demanding basketball not be cancelled? Because we really don't miss it(Well, that and football's back). Take the year off. Shore up the league's cap issues. Find a way to keep these kids in college for a couple years and make rules to give the players you have now a reason to learn how to score besides hard-charge to the hoop and either draw the foul or posterize some seven-foot stiff from Lithuania who is staring into space under the basket. The game of basketball should be about more than just filling up highlight reels on SportsCenter. Baseball learned the hard way that dwelling on the home run, and thus forcing players to shoot up PEDs, was eventually going to hurt the game. Hockey had to go away for a year to make up for the fact that the league was just a handful of rich superteams and that a majority of their fan bases felt alienated. The NBA has to do the same. Make us miss you the way so many of your stars miss 15-foot jumpers.

NEW RULE: America has to come to grips with the fact that Seth MacFarlane isn't funny. After watching Seth McFarlane bomb as host of the last three Comedy Central Roasts, it's become apparent to me who is doing the joke writing for MacFarlane's shows: The writers of "South Park" and "The Simpsons". I get it, "Family Guy" is popular. "American Dad" is popular and, in a pinch, they might evoke a laugh or two from a dumbed-down fan base. But are they original? Fuck no. Granted, in this day and age, nothing's original. The popularity of "Jersey Shore"(which was spawned from numerous seasons of "The Real World", another MTV hit) unleashed numerous Garden State related reality clones. The same way "Survivor" spawned rip-offs, and "Big Brother" and "Top Chef" and the like. But if a man who is billed as a comedic genius manages to go on national television in front of his peers and not be funny not once, not twice, but three times, at what point do we realize he doesn't have the goods?

Jeff Ross kills EVERY ROAST. Lisa Lampanelli kills EVERY ROAST. You know why? Because they're funny. I realize the "Seth MacFarlane steals from South Park and The Simpsons" crack isn't new or original but maybe it's also true. In a copy cat world where MTV hires a tard like Rob Dyrdek to helm a "Tosh.O" ripoff called "Ridiculousness", we are willing to give infamy to whatever seems new and original even if it isn't new and original. We're always looking for a fresh face to make us laugh.....even if that fresh face isn't funny. Which brings me to.......

NEW RULE: Networks have got to stop giving Jeff Dunham work. The man is a fucking ventriloquist. When have ventriloquists EVER been funny? You know who finds Jeff Dunham funny? Rednecks who think Larry The Cable Guy is talented, eventhough he's a fat bastard from Michigan making money off mocking the very fans that use their hard-earned Walmart money to go see him perform. I get it, Comedy Central, you need something to fill the void left by the still-legendary "Chappelle's Show", but there's a reason Dave Chappelle's three-season opus still resonates with fans: The man was actually funny. We've seen Jeff Dunham fail on television before. Remember the ill-fated "Jeff Dunham Show" back in 2009 that lasted all of seven episodes? Yeah, me neither. Critics have called Dunham's style "Don Rickles with multiple personality disorder". He's more like Don Johnson with down syndrome. According to Forbes, Dunham is the third-highest paid comedian behind legends like Chris Rock and Jerry Seinfeld. THIRD!!!? And you wonder why we're in a fucking recession!? I wouldn't pay 2 bucks to have Dunham wash my car with his band of puppets. (OK, maybe I would, a good car wash is expensive).

Americans, we have to set the bar higher for ourselves in terms of what entertains us. We have to upgrade from a group of individuals who get our chuckles from watching whores eat eel shit, hillbilies telling fart jokes and some closet homosexual being a bit risque with his hand jammed up a puppet's ass. I know the Chappelle days are over and who knows if we'll ever get another classic comedy special from Chris Rock or Eddie Murphy but we have to branch out and put our money on someone with some actual talent. If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.....and that anything has to stop being some doofus with a jalapeno on a stick.

NEW RULE: Madden needs to step their game up. The recent edition of the Madden football franchise(Madden 12, for non-gamers) was so universally panned by gaming critics that it might as well have had Nicolas Cage on its cover instead of Peyton Hillis(or maybe Hugh Jackman on the cover....Come on, you know you aren't going to see "Real Steel" when "Moneyball" is in theaters and, if you are, shame on you). The problem with "Madden" is quite simple: There's no competition out there and, thus, no reason to get better. Fans will buy Madden because it's a simulator of the most popular sport in the country. They'll pay 60 bucks despite the fact the game routinely has more bugs than a Newark Motel 6. They'll buy it eventhough it's pretty much the same game year-after-year with just different rosters. They'll own it regardless of the fact that it lacks the one thing a video game should have: fun. 9-year old kids could put up 42 points a game on All-Madden. Hell, I don't even play the game that serious anymore and I haven't allowed a touchdown in the regular season with my Packers in four games. From a visual standpoint, Madden looks as real as Christina Hendricks' breasts, but the mechanics of the game are screwy. Jay Cutler doesn't avoid six tacklers in the pocket and run untouched up the gut for 35 yards in real life. Reggie Bush doesn't bowl over Patrick Willis on a halfback sweep(at least not without tearing something). Victor Cruz doesn't win jump balls over Nnamdi Asomugha......wait, that actually happened last week. Sorry, Eagles fans. Couldn't resist.

When Madden was on the older consoles, before the next-gen era and before it snatched up the NFL license, the games got better every year because it offered up something new each year from QB Vision to Hit Sticks to training camp drills. Why? Because it had the NFL2K series breathing down its neck every year. It needed to offer up an alternative to a very tough competitor. Now, the 2K series is dead in the water and, even with the presence of some of 2K's brain trust on the development staff, the game still underwhelms. Maybe we, as hardcore football fans and gamers, hold the bar so high for Madden because it's the quintessential sports franchise of our era. Maybe we expect too much. However, all other sporting games have managed to evolve over the years. NBA 2K11 emerged last year as one of the best sports games in history by upgrading a lot of things it did well and also offering up something new by offering up something old in bringing in Michael Jordan and the Jordan Challenge. This year, 2K12 offers up Jordan and then-some with a slew of new legends from Bird to Magic to The Big O. That's called progress. Madden offers up nothing new. The franchise mode is a mess. There's no restricted free agency like they had even back in the PS2 days and the offense is so simplistic that you could put up Matt Stafford numbers with your eyes closed. Some will use the uncertainty of this year's NFL season as a reason for Madden taking a step back but the game hasn't been entertaining for years. The game has never taken a critical ponding like this(It got a 7.5 out of 10 from Game Informer....worse than NHL 12, a game featuring a sport that's hardly watched outside of Canada and Pittsburgh). If Mark Zuckerberg, whose a billionaire sitting on loads of cash running a social networking business that has no close rival, can still find time to tinker Facebook on a routine basis, then it's time for EA Sports and Tiburon to go back to the drawing board and give us a Madden that even crochety skeptics like me can enjoy.

NEW RULE: ESPN has to stop making Tony Romo to be Willis Reed, Tom Brady to be Joe Montana and every Peyton Manning neck twinge to be front-page news. If the Madden franchise has let itself go from years of reading its own press clippings, then they got that way from watching "The Worldwide Leader". ESPN has to be the only network that makes stories out of its own stories. Prior to a boring Redskins-Cowboys showdown, the Monday Night Football cast as well as the members of ESPN's pre-show couldn't shut the hell up about Tony Romo's busted ribs. Then, in a neverending effort to fill time during a snoozefest, Mike Tirico and company couldn't stop going on about all the pre-game talk about Romo's ribs and how Tony Overrated responded to all the hubbub......a majority of which was supplied by ESPN. Romo's ribs is just the latest injury that ESPN has decided to beat into the ground and force down our throats. For weeks, analysts treated Peyton Manning's neck injury like a reason to raise the terror alert. In between that, it was round-the-clock coverage of every Michael Vick ailment that existed from concussions to bleeding tongues to his newfound hand injury that ESPN first reported as a fracture but now may or may not be a sprain depending on who you ask and what day of the week it is.



Enough already. I'm still exhausted from 2008's frenzy over Tom Brady's knee. Michael Vick gets hurt because he's undersized and he puts himself in harm's way with every scramble. That's why he's only played one full season in his entire career. Peyton Manning is 35 and coming off two surgeries on his neck. It doesn't take Chris Mortenson sitting on Peyton's lawn to tell you there was a good chance he was going to miss time this year. Hell, even I mentioned three months ago that Manning was a risky bet this season. Yet, all offseason, ESPN championed Manning as some modern-day Rocky Balboa and seemed dead-set that we'd see Number 18 suit up against Houston in the opener. Guess what? We didn't.....and the network reacted to Manning's consecutive games streak ending the way Jim McKay reacted to the Munich massacre.


I know ESPN christened 2011 as "The Year of the QB" but there are more than five QB's in the NFL. Give Josh Freeman some love. Talk a little more about Colt McCoy. Or, better yet, try talking to the NFL about putting some of these guys in the primetime slots instead of forcing us to sit through another wretched Redskins-Cowboys clash or a Manning-less Colts vs. Steelers tilt. Why put your eggs in a basket that is unraveling? And why continue to annoy viewers by regurgitating the same story over and over with that same trademark hyperbole? Tony Romo playing a Week 3 matchup against the Redskins with enough padding to negotiate a hostage situation doesn't make him Willis Reed coming out of the tunnel at Madison Square Garden against the Lakers in Game 7 of the 1970 NBA Finals. It's bad enough you overpaid Jon Gruden to oversell every screen pass to be the Miracle on Ice. Show a little restraint and get over yourselves, ESPN.

Week 3 Picks

Last week was a bit of good news, bad news for Gabriel "King Adobo" Rodriguez. Gabe dropped two more games last week to "The Big Rigatoni", thanks to some gutsy calls gambling on the Jags and Broncos. On the bright side, Senor Rodriguez managed to finish .500 for the first time this season with the help of some last minute heroics in both the Bills-Raiders game and Niners-Cowboys game that lead to both games being a push.

We now bring you our Week 3 picks, with Dave hoping to avoid an Atlanta Braves style chokejob of his now five-game lead on the season.

Last Week

Dave: 9-5-2
Gabe: 7-7-2

Season

Dave: 16-13-3
Gabe: 11-18-3

Patriots (-7) at Bills

Dave: Patriots - A surprising battle of the unbeatens. The Bills have been America's feel good story thus far as "The Little Engine That Could........Be Playing Its Home Games In Canada by 2014". Ryan Fitzpatrick has done what he can to quell all the Andrew Luck anxiety and Stevie Johnson is making people forget about the departed Lee Evans. That being said, New England hasn't lost to Buffalo since JaRule was relevant back in 2003. That's 15 straight L's for the Bills. My guess is that Tom Brady puts on a clinic on a surprisingly decent Bills D and makes it 16 straight. Pats by 10.

(Editor's Note: Gabe's feeling under the weather so, much like his Mets, he mailed in his picks before the games started. I didn't want to write his explanations FOR him so I just left the teams.)

Gabe: Bills - (He has Patriots winning...but only by 4).

49ers (+2.5) at Bengals

Dave: 49ers - The list of guys on an already anemic Bengals offense that are either hobbled or won't be giving it a go is pretty extensive. Rookie QB Andy Dalton is still a bit shaky. Rookie wideout A.J. Green is slowed by a foot injury. Fellow receiver Jordan Shipley is done for the season, while Jerome Simpson will play despite being busted on a pot charge. Someone who got busted and won't be playing is RB Cedric Benson, who is currently sitting out a three-game ban. The Niners have their share of scratches, too, making this the most unwatchable game of the week. WR Braylon Edwards is out and tag team partner Michael Crabtree continues to be slowed by a bum wheel. QB Alex Smith is coming off a concussion and RB Frank Gore is, well, Frank Gore, meaning he's a "questionable" waiting to happen. Still, if I'm forced to choose, I'm taking the points here, even if it means putting stock in a Colin Kaeparnick second half performance. Niners by 3.

Gabe: Niners

Dolphins (+1) at Browns

Dave: Dolphins - This game will give Bengals-Niners a run on the cringe scale in terms of watchability. I'm not overally impressed with the Browns and now, with Peyton Hillis out(MADDEN CURSE!!!!) with a strep throat, I'm even less enamored with them. The 'Phins, meanwhile, might be on to something on offense. Rookie RB Daniel Thomas made good on his sleeper buzz last week with a 100-yard performance against Houston and Chad Henne has been respectable, albeit barely average, finding guys like Brandon Marshall and Davone Bess. Look, this game is going to suck but my thoughts here is that Miami sucks a little less than a yet-to-make-due-on-their-sleeper-hype Cleveland team. Phins by 6.

Gabe: Dolphins

Broncos (+7) at Titans

Dave: Titans - A week after making me look foolish for taking them as AFC South champs, the Titans redeemed themselves by thumping a Ravens team that clearly spent itself trying to annihilate Pittsburgh in Week 1. This week, they get a Broncos team that may be one of the three or four worst teams in football. You have to think that, if Chris Johnson is going to wake up from his holdout-induced coma, it will be here against a poor Broncos run D. Matt Hasselbeck has proven he can still sling it and, even with a hobbled Kenny Britt, I see the Titans putting foot to ass on the lowly Broncos. Titans by 13.

Gabe: Titans

Lions (-3) at Vikings

Dave: Lions - I don't think we are talking about the Vikings enough as being maybe the worst team in football. Maybe it's because Adrian Peterson has managed to make Minny look less of a train wreck than Kansas City and Indianapolis but the Vikes have been dreadful in the first two weeks. The passing game no-showed against San Diego and Minnesota lost a game that the Chargers were trying everything short of gift-wrapping to give to them. Then, last week, they blow a 21-point lead to lose to Tampa Bay. Donovan McNabb is so washed up now that he might as well audition to be a California Raisin. The Lions, on the other hand, look every bit as good as the preseason hype machine built them up to be and I see them throttling their division rivals here. Lions by 17.

Gabe: Lions

Texans (+3.5) at Saints

Dave: Saints - Best game of the week and the only thing I can possibly think of why this game isn't on primetime is ESPN and NBC's hard-on for Tony Romo(playing Monday night) and Peyton Manning/Big Ben(the Sunday night clash, though Peyton is out). Arian Foster is out for the Texans, leaving the load in the trusty hands of Ben Tate. This game is going to be a shootout but I'm still weary of Houston if this game gets close late and they have to try to steal this one in the fourth in a hostile environment in N'awlins. My money is on Drew Brees here and I see a decent game from Mark Ingram as well. Why? Because I benched him for Daniel Thomas this week and karma's a bitch. Saints by 6.

Gabe: Saints

Giants (+9) at Eagles

Dave: Giants - Every Giant short of Jessie Armstead is hobbled or out for Gabe's Big Blue. Hakeem Nicks is iffy. Mario Manningham is out. New York loses a starter on defense seemingly every week. I have no reason to have faith in the Giants this week......but I do anyway. Here's why: If the Giants do anything well, it's rush the passer and run the ball. If Philly has shown any weaknesses this week, it's....wait for it...wait for it......protecting Mike Vick(already woozy from last week's concussion) and stopping the run. Do I see New York pulling off the upset? No, Eli is going to choke this one away. Trust me on that, but I see this being close because of the two-pronged attack of Ahmad Bradshaw and Brandon Jacobs and because we might see Mike Kafka again before this one's finished if New York applies pressure anywhere near to what Atlanta applied against Philly last week. Eagles win, but not by 9. Philly by 7.

Gabe: Giants

Jaguars (+3.5) at Panthers

Dave: Panthers - Newton! Gabbert! It's a battle of two guys who competed to be the #1 pick(with Newton inevitably winning)! Cam Newton put up another big game last week, in yet another losing effort, against Green Bay. Now, he gets a Jags defense that made Mark Sanchez look like Broadway Joe Namath last week. The Jags will lean on Maurice Jones-Drew heavy to take pressure off Gabbert but I like the idea of going with the rookie early instead of diminishing his confidence by forcing him to sit behind a stiff like Luke McCown. Still, Carolina has too much talent on the offensive side of the ball to not win this one. Panthers by 10.

Gabe: Panthers

Jets (-3) at Raiders

Dave: Raiders - I don't even want to call this an upset special because the Raiders may actually be good and the Jets may just be lucky. After whooping on Buffalo in the first half, the Raiders inexplicably took the foot off the gas and let the Bills back in a game they had no business winning. Now, they get the Jets....at home....and if last week didn't piss them off enough....head coach Hue Jackson made it a point to remind his boys about Mark Sanchez's "eating a hot dog on the sidelines" incident last year. The Raiders are going to be looking for revenge and, if Gang Green is legit, they'll stomp out Oakland on the road. My guess is the Jets' offense continues to sputter and the Raiders find a way to steal this one late. Raiders by 3.

Gabe: Jets

Ravens (-5) at Rams

Dave: Ravens - The hell happened to Baltimore last week? They went from being the only team playing defense in Week 1 to getting their teeth blasted by Tennessee in Week 2. Last week was a key sign why I get nervous about picking the Ravens to win it all each year: maddening inconsistency. This week, they get a Rams squad that's more battered than Manny Ramirez's spouse. Baltimore will look to avenge last week's disappointing performance and we'll see a steady dose of Ray Rice. Ravens cruise here, win by 14.

Gabe: Ravens

Packers (-4.5) at Bears

Dave: Bears - I'm just not taking the chance here by going away from the reverse jinx in a game Green Bay should win. The Packers started slow against Carolina last week and let Cam Newton go up 14-nil on them and then had to rally back to beat a lowly Panthers team that managed to cover with a garbage time touchdown. The Packers should be able to exploit a terrible Bears offensive line and Jay Cutler's worst games have come against Green Bay. That being said, these Bears-Packers games are always close and I see the Packers taking this one with some steady D and Mason Crosby's leg rather than an electrifying O and Aaron Rodgers' arm. Packers by 3.

Gabe: Packers

Chiefs (+14) at Chargers

Dave: Chargers - Do I have to go into detail here? Kansas City has been outscored 89-10 in the past two weeks, and that was to Buffalo and Detroit. I'm gonna say that, even with Malcolm Floyd out, the Chargers curbstomp a shockingly bad Chiefs team here at home. Chargers by 21....and that's being generous.

Gabe: Chargers

Cardinals (-3) at Seahawks

Dave: Cardinals - The Seahawks are just plain dreadful. Tarvaris Jackson is trying his damnedest to become the first QB to start in the NFL and UFL in the same year and, even with Sidney Rice possibly coming back, I don't see Seattle mustering up much offense to keep up with the Kevin Kolb/Larry Fitzgerald air show. Cardinals by 13.

Gabe: Cardinals

Falcons (+1.5) at Bucs

Dave: Falcons - Matt Ryan, much like his successor Mike Vick, has had his struggles with Tampa Bay so I'm taking the Dirty Birds here with extreme caution. My theory is that if Atlanta can keep up with Philly, granted with Mike Vick sitting most of the second half, then they can take one from the Bucs on the road. Tampa hasn't been able to bring too much of a pass rush despite all of its young talent on the defensive line and you don't want to give Matt Ryan that much time to throw. I'll begrudgingly take Atlanta here by 6.

Gabe: Falcons

Steelers (-10.5) at Colts

Dave: Steelers - Eww....just eww. That's how disgustingly bad this game is going to be tonight. The Colts look like a team that just wants to go on the clock now and tab Andrew Luck as their heir apparent to Peyton Manning. The offense looks befuddled with 100-year old Kerry Collins behind center and the defense looks like it couldn't stop a Pop Warner team. Bad drafting and too much reliance on one player will do that to you and, if the Colts were smart, we'd see Curtis Painter here at some point instead of hoping Collins finds the fountain of youth sometime this season. Steelers will roll here but, in typical Pittsburgh fashion, they'll look boring doing it. A rare snoozefest after two exciting SNF tilts. Steelers by 20.

Gabe: Steelers

Redskins (+5.5) at Cowboys

Dave: Redskins - No Miles Austin for Dallas, and Tony Romo, Felix Jones and Dez Bryant are all slowed with various ailments. Washington, if you can't pull off a W here, then you're a fraud. Lucky for Redskins fans(or, perhaps, unlucky for Redskins fans), I think Washington pulls off the win here against a battered Cowboys team and continues to rope in their delusional fan base into thinking they have a real shot this year. 'Skins by 10 while I go on Facebook hiatus Monday night to avoid all the "This is our year!" posts from my Redskins friends. Sigh.

Gabe: Cowboys

Week 2 Picks

The opening week of football offered up a lot of curveballs from Baltimore's thrashing of the defending AFC champion Steelers to Cam Newton putting up Madden numbers in his rookie debut to Ron Jaworski becoming the first analyst to yell "shit" on air on Monday Night Football, beating out the odds-on favorite Jon Gruden.

Also surprising was the dynamic duo's poor start. In typical early season fashion, Dave jumped out to a three-game lead but neither managed to do better than .500 in the NFL's opening salvo.

Back at it again, here's our Week 2 picks:

Last Week: (Dave 7-8-1, Gabe 4-11-1)

Season: (Dave 7-8-1, Gabe 4-11-1)

Chiefs (+7.5) at Lions

Dave: Lions - Detroit lived up to its sleeper buzz last week, winning a thrilling clash between two up and comers against Tampa Bay. The Chiefs, on the other hand, underwhelmed in the eyes of even the most optimistic preseason observer by getting curbstomped by the lowly Bills. With Chiefs safety Eric Berry done for the year with a torn ACL, there's going to be nobody back there to help out KC's corners against Calvin Johnson. If Buffalo put up 41 on this Chiefs D last week, I can only imagine what Detroit will do....at home....against Kansas City. Lions by 17.

Gabe: Lions - Eric Berry is done for the year so KC has no one to mark Calvin Johnson. I also see the Chiefs suffering a huge hangover from last week. Detroit wins big.

Raiders(+3) at Bills

Dave: Bills - Oakland's W over Denver shouldn't have come as too big a surprise given that a. Oakland swept the division last year and b. Denver really really sucks. So, why am I still not giving the Raiders the benefit of the doubt? Well, it's asking a lot for a West Coast team to go from a late Monday night game to an early game on the road on the East Coast, especially against a Bills team that might be better than we anticipated. Raiders RB Darren McFadden has quickly come on as one of the five best backs in football, but the Raiders need to prove they can stop getting pinched for dumb penalties and use McFadden's skills to open up the passing game before they start earning my respect. In normal circumstances, I'd like Oakland but the short week benefits Buffalo. Bills by 6.

Gabe: Bills - This is a simple pick and illustrates one theme for this week, west coast teams playing on the east coast...and losing. Oakland played on Monday night and now have to travel across the country and play an early game. They wouldn't beat Syracuse this week. Bills win easily.

Ravens (-6) at Titans

Dave: Ravens - I watched Ravens-Steelers with my buddy Carlos(a Ravens fan) last week and he made a couple points about his boys taking their main rivals from the Steel City to the woodshed. For one, last week was Baltimore's Super Bowl, in essence. There was a lot more at stake if Baltimore lost than if Pittsburgh won. A loss to Pittsburgh in Week 1 pretty much kills Baltimore's chances at winning the division, since going in Heinz Field late in the season and getting a W will much harder. You can tell from the first minute the Ravens wanted it more than the Steelers and that was extra evident in the fake field goal/two-point conversion Baltimore went with despite being up 27-7. As for this week, the Titans really disappointed me after liking them to win the South this season. Chris Johnson couldn't get off against the Jags, which means he'll be non-existant against a Ravens team that seemed to be the only one who played some D last week. I like big games for Ray Rice and Jersey Joe Flacco and this Ravens D will manhandle Matt Hasselbeck, who looks like he is still learning the offense. Ravens by 14.

Gabe: Ravens - The Titans have only one weapon on offense. The Ravens will box in Chris Johnson and wreak havoc on the rest of the Titans. Ravens by at least a touchdown.

Jaguars (+8.5) at Jets

Dave: Jets - Last week's come-from-behind win against Dallas opens up this debate: Are the Jets good or just lucky? If not for another Tony Romo collapse in the 4th quarter, the Jets might be coming into this game 0-1 with a lot of questions to answer. Still, give credit to Gang Green for showing up late when the Cowboys didn't. This week, they get a significantly easier test in Jacksonville. The Jags struggled to stop Kenny Britt last week, meaning they'll be getting worked by Santonio Holmes and a suddenly resurgent Plaxico Burress. Meanwhile, MoJo D is going to struggle to find running room against this tough Jets D. Jets need a little more polish but this should be good target practice. Jets by 13.

Gabe: Jaguars - There is no logical on-the-field reason to think this is going to happen. The Jets escaped last week when the Cowboys seemed to have them dead to rights. I just think a 9 point win is too much to ask for after last week. I didn't declare one last week, but let's call this my upset special as the Jets win by seven, but don't cover.

Browns (-1.5) at Colts

Dave: Colts - I'm not sure who was more disappointing last week between these two teams. After all, we expected Indy to be bad going up against a Texans team that thumped them this time last year without Peyton Manning but I don't know if we expected them to be THAT bad(especially with Texans RB Arian Foster on the sidelines). While Houston was putting its boot over Indy's neck, Cleveland was completely shitting the bed against a Bengals team that was supposed to be awful this season. I can't see Kerry Collins being that abysmal for two straight weeks, especially at home, and I think Colt McCoy looks lost out there in Year 2 with the Browns. Peyton Hillis will go off against a terrible Colts D but, eventhough I think Indy is tanking for Andrew Luck, I say they pull out a surprise W here. Colts by 3.

Gabe: Browns - The Colts are a mess. Peyton Hillis gets nice. Browns by a touchdown.

Cardinals (+3.5) at Redskins

Dave: Redskins - This one is a head-scratcher. I can't see anyone on the Redskins D that will be able to cover Larry Fitzgerald. On the flip side, this Cardinals D let Cam Newton, in his rookie debut, put up 422 passing yards on them. Rex Grossman threw for 300 yards on the Giants, so I can only imagine what HE will do here. Plus, this is a revenge game for ex-Cardinal-now-Redskin RB Tim Hightower. I see this being a high-scoring affair because both defenses are terrible, but I'll give Washington the nod. 'Skins by 6.

Gabe: Redskins - Everything about this game points to the Redskins. The Cardinals apparently don't have any defense. They have to travel across the country to play this game. Redskins by at least a touchdown.

Bucs (+3) at Vikings

Dave: Bucs - Tampa Bay nearly came back against what looks like a good Lions team, but RB LaGarrette Blount is already making headlines with complaints about his playing time. Vikings QB Donovan McNabb showed last week that saying he's "in decline" is the biggest understatement of the year with his atrocious performance against San Diego. This week, he gets to watch the younger version of him in Bucs QB Josh Freeman. Bucs need to show a better pass rush after not registering a sack against Detroit but I think they withstand Adrian Peterson's Sunday punch and steal this one on the road. Bucs by 7.

Gabe: Bucs - Last week there were something like 7,200 yards passing across the NFL, the highest total ever in an opening week. Donovan McNabb had 39 of them. Like Dave said, the Bucs will have to withstand Adrian Peterson, but I think they get the outright W.

Packers (-9.5) at Panthers

Dave: Packers - I'm going to go out on a limb and say Cam Newton isn't going for 422 yards against the defending champs. The Packers have had a week and a half of rest to prepare for a Panthers team that couldn't pull out a W against Arizona despite Cam-Cam's record setting day. Also, if Arizona had receivers wide open with no Panther within their line of sight, what can we expect from Green Bay's high-powered offense against this shaky Carolina D? I see "The Ultimate Warrior" Clay Matthews introducing himself a couple times to the 2011 #1 overall pick and Aaron Rodgers adds to his MVP resume with another sterling performance. Packers by 14.

Gabe: Packers - Cam Newton showed last week that he really is an NFL QB...but that was againt Arizona. The champs are rested and ready. I think the Pack will be firing on all cylinders and will win by double digits.

Bears (+6.5) at Saints

Dave: Saints - Not gonna lie, I didn't see that Bears W coming. I thought Chicago's offensive line will get exploited by Atlanta's new pass rush and Chicago would get thumped. Despite that not being true last week, I think that WILL be true this week. New Orleans has a week and a half of rest and homefield on their side and, while the Bears will be playing with a heavy heart after the passing of MLB Brian Urlacher's mother this week, I don't see them keeping up with Drew Brees and company. I see this being more shootout than than a sign of an emerging Saints D but I can't see Jay Cutler matching Drew Brees score-for-score. Saints by 10.

Gabe: Saints - I don't think the Bears are as good as they showed last week. The Saints have a nice long break to get ready for this game, they are at home, and they definitely don't want to start the year 0-2. I think all of that motivates the Saints and they win by 9.

Seahawks (+14) at Steelers

Dave: Steelers - It's hard to like Pittsburgh and a double-digit spread given how they can't protect Ben Roethlisberger, especially now that they are without Willie Colon at RT. Still, Seattle is horrible and Pittsburgh will be at home and pissed off after last week's debacle against Baltimore. The Steelers will avoid going into a spread offense, even with Seattle's pass rush not being quite like Baltimore's, but they'll jam Rashard Mendenhall down the Seahawks' throat while bombarding Seahawks QB Tarvaris Jackson. I think we see Seahawks backup Charlie Whitehurst in there by halftime but Pittsburgh runs away with this one. Steelers by 20.

Gabe: Steelers - The biggest line of the week might be the easiest game to pick. The Steelers are going to be really angry after getting waxed by their rivals in Baltimore last week. The Seahawks suck and have to, in sticking with our theme, travel across the country. Steelers by three touchdowns, at least.

Cowboys (-3) at 49ers

Dave: Cowboys - Dallas will trot out the LeBron James of QB's, Tony Romo, in a situation he's more comfortable in: low pressure against a measly opponent. The Cowboys looked like a force in the first half against New York but fell apart in typical Cowboy fashion late in the game. Beyond Romo's brainfart at the goal-line, Jason Garrett needs to be smarter with the playcalling and WR Dez Bryant, if he plays, needs to prove he can be a factor for the WHOLE game. For San Francisco, they will be trying to prove that they are actually a decent ballclub and not just a team that feasted on the lowly Seahawks last week. I just can't see that Niners O-line holding off DeMarcus Ware and Rob Ryan will be spending most of the week game-planning to neutralize Frank Gore and make Alex Smith beat them. Big game for Felix Jones here. Cowboys by 10.

Gabe: 49ers - I'm taking San Fran in this game for the same reason I said Mexico would win their group in the 2010 World Cup...psychological fragility. France had a team full of head cases and Mexico was able to beat them head to head and finish ahead of them in the group. I think the Cowboys are going to allow last week to make them lose this week. I think the 49ers take it at home, mostly because Dallas is going to shit the bed. San Fran by 6.

Chargers (+7) at Patriots

Dave: Patriots - In one corner, you had a team that ran roughshod on the Dolphins on national television to the tune of their QB throwing for 517 yards. In the other, you have a team known for struggling out the gate that had trouble fending off a declining Vikings team. The Patriots have always had San Diego's number and, now facing them early in the season, I think that trend continues. Tom Brady won't throw for 517 yards against a good San Diego pass D so I think we'll see more balance from the Patriots offense and maybe even a Chad Ochocinco sighting. Good showdown between two very good QB's but Pats win this one going away. New England by 13.

Gabe: Chargers - I think this game is going to turn into a shoot out. Tom Terrific won't throw for 500+ again, but both he and Philip Rivers will go off. I think it is going to finish close. New England gets the win, but only by 4.

Bengals (+3.5) at Broncos

Dave: Bengals - Man, how bad did the Broncos look last week against Oakland? The biggest shock was Kyle Orton looking uncomfortable pretty much all game against the Raiders and the chants for Tim Tebow certianly didn't help the confidence of a man looking over his shoulder all preseason. The Bengals, while not world beaters by any means, have the same skill set as the Raiders: Shaky but efficient QB(if Bruce Gradkowski starts, at least), power running game, tough defense. If the Broncos' offensive line is a recurring problem, it won't matter who the QB is but in a battle of two mediocre teams, I'll take the points. Bengals by 3.

Gabe: Broncos - In this weeks installment of "The game Gabe wouldn't watch if it was played in his back yard," I'm going to say the Broncos can't be as bad as they played last week. They have to chin up at home. I'll say they barely cover and win by 4.

Texans (-3) at Dolphins

Dave: Texans - Probably the easiest pick of the week. Texans took advantage of a bad Colts team last week and they aren't as good as the score suggests but, right now, they have all the momentum in their favor AND defending rushing champ Arian Foster returning against a bad Dolphins team. Texans pass rusher Mario Williams vs Dolphins OT Jake Long, in a battle of former #1 overall picks, will be interesting to watch but I can't see this Miami defense being able to slow down Matt Schaub, Andre 3000 and a combo of Ben Tate and Foster. Texans by 16.

Gabe: Texans - This might actually be the year Houston finally gets the playoff monkey off their back. In order to do so they have beat inferior teams. I think they keep it going against Miami and win by double digits.

Eagles (-2.5) at Falcons

Dave: Eagles - Any thoughts of "The Dream Team" starting off slow came to a screeching halt when they handled St. Louis in Week 1 and the Falcons, this week's opponent, looked horrible against Chicago. This is Mike Vick's return to the Georgia Dome for the first time since being exiled by the team a few years ago. I don't think numbers close to his blowout performace on MNF against Washington last year is out of the question. Eagles will struggle to stop Falcons RB Michael Turner, much like they struggled with Steven Jackson last week before S-Jax hurt his quad. I see another big Mike Vick game and a week of overreaction by announcers, analysts and talking heads. Eagles by 10.

Gabe: Eagles - The Falcons can't be as bad as they looked last week, but the Eagles are on a roll. There was talk all week of the crowd actually turning on the Falcons if Vick plays well, and I think that could really happen. I think Philly wins by a touchdown and puts the Falcons' season in jeopardy.

Rams (+6) at Giants

Dave: Giants - A battle that looked good in preseason before all the injuries to both teams now looks like a yawner between two squads who might miss the playoffs. The Rams gave it an honest try against Philly before injuries took the air out of the tires. Meanwhile, the wheels never spun for Gabe's Giants last week against the Redskins. The pass rush lived up to its billing at times but still didn't do enough to stop Rex Grossman from getting his. Eli Manning looks every bit like the bust he was prior to his lucky '07 postseason and now there's the possibility of top wideout Hakeem Nicks sitting out. I'll still take Big Blue over a Rams team that might be missing QB Sam Bradford and RB Steven Jackson. Giants go up early and I change the channel to the Charlie Sheen roast by halftime. Giants by 10.

Gabe: Giants - I'm counting on the defense to show up and Eli to have a decent game. If the Rams are missing some key offensive personnel, i.e. Bradford and Jackson, I think my G-Men have a great shot. I'll take my boys at home to just barely cover. Giants by 7.

Week 1 Picks cont....

Saints-Packers was the shootout many anticipated, with New Orleans falling short on head coach Sean Payton calling a final play from the Packers' 1-yard like that even Stevie Wonder saw coming: a run up the gut by rookie Mark Ingram.

The Packers win proved two things: 1. The reverse jinx still works even after a long layoff and 2. the lack of time to practice thanks to the lockout means defenses will spend the first couple of weeks catching up to offenses, which means even the usual defensive tug-of-wars like this week's Steelers-Ravens clash could be a 31-28 seesaw affair.

Anyway, Gabe goes up 1-0 by taking the Packers to cover last night. On to the rest of the picks....

Falcons (-2.5) at Bears

Dave: Falcons - My fearless prediction here is that Atlanta unleashes its newfound pass rush on Chicago's horrible offensive line, forcing Jay Cutler to become his usual turnover machine while Matt Ryan and company to light up the scoreboards. Afterward, talking heads will freak out about the Falcons' balance on both sides of the ball and we'll have a week's worth of "Is Atlanta the team to beat in the NFC?" conversations because of how they'll destroy one half of last year's NFC Championship participants. In actuality, it will be the start of bad things to come for the Bears and the Falcons will benefit from testing out their defense against a team that couldn't protect its quarterback if it had AR-15's and tazers.

Gabe: Falcons - Like Dave said in his opening, NFL defenses are going to need time to catch up to the offenses. That spells bad news for the Bears, because the Falcons have a high powered offense, especially in the passing game. I think the Falcons air attack proves to be way too much for Chicago. Falcons by double digits.

Bengals (+7) at Browns

Dave: Browns - Your best bet every week, be it laying down money or a suicide pool, is taking whoever is playing the Bengals because they are going to be dreadful. I'm not a passenger on the Browns' bandwagon and the lack of time to adjust from the 3-4 to 4-3 will prevent this from being the thorough beating many are projecting, but I still see Cleveland corners Joe Haden and Sheldon Brown making life rough for Andy Dalton while Colt McCoy does just enough to earn a W in a game that will be hard to watch. Browns by 13.

Gabe: Browns - The Bengals are going to be awful. The Browns are going to be average. To me, that says a two touchdown win for the Cleveland.

Bills (+6) at Chiefs

Dave: Chiefs - I'm predicting blowout here. The Bills don't have enough talent in the secondary to stop Kansas City's firepower in the passing game(even without TE Tony Moeaki and rookie WR Jon Baldwin) and that opens things up for what Kansas City does best: run the football. For Buffalo, QB Fitzpatrick is going to have trouble finding Steve Johnson with Brandon Flowers and Eric Berry in that secondary and Tamba Hali is going to be applying constant pressure against that swiss-cheese Bills' offensive line. Chiefs by 21.

Gabe: Chiefs - The Chiefs should roll in this game. The Bills have this odd ability to rise up and play above their ability every now and then, but not today. Chiefs by a lot.

Eagles (-4) at Rams

Dave: Eagles - I don't think it's farfetched for St. Louis to pull this one out. The crowd inside that dome is going to be nuts and the Rams' pass rush is going to have plenty of opportunity to get in Mike Vick's face going up against Philly's new offensive line. Still, Sam Bradford is going to be asked the throw the ball 35-40 times in Josh McDaniels' offense against a secondary that has two of the best cover corners in the NFL in Nnamdi Asomugha and Asante Samuel and a guy in Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie who is no slouch either. If Steven Jackson gets it going against a soft Eagles run defense, that could make things interesting but the Eagles know a loss here will spark a week of "Are the Eagles overrated?" talk and neither they, nor us fans, need that this early in the season. Eagles by 9.

Gabe: Rams - I'm going to go out on a limb here. There is a formula to beat Michael Vick. Some teams have figured out a way to box him in. Do the Rams have the ability to do that? Perhaps. Combine that with Steven Jackson possibly going off against Philly's run defense, and St. Louis has a very good shot to pull the upset. I'm not sure if that will happen, but I'll say the Rams beat the spread, and Philly wins by a field goal.

Lions (+1.5) at Bucs

Dave: Lions - With my Packers out of the way, this is the game I'm most interested to see in Week 1. I only wish this game was moved to 4 o'clock to make up for the boring late game schedule. This is a good lithmus test for two teams with a lot of sleeper buzz. The Bucs have been a bit slow out of the gate in preseason, while Detroit has looked spectacular. Two things I'm looking forward to seeing: Josh Freeman trying to take the next step up the ladder of the NFL's best young QB's with Lions all-world DT Ndomukong Suh chasing after him and how good a young Bucs' defensive line brimming with talent and potential performs. I think Tampa gets Matt Stafford out of his rhythm but not enough to stop him from finding Calvin Johnson deep for a couple scores. Both teams are going to go back-and-forth trading scores but, if forced to choose, I'll take the team getting points. Lions by 3.

Gabe: Bucs - The idea of this game is exciting. Two young teams on the come up, led by two good young QB's. I'll go with home field here and say Bucs by 3.

Titans (+2) at Jaguars

Dave: Titans - I can't understand how the Jags, even at home, are favored with Luke McCown starting and Maurice Jones-Drew still not 100%. Plus, your betting on a spotty Jags defense to shut down Chris Johnson, who is fresh and motivated to justify his big contract? Not a chance. I have Tennessee winning the division so, clearly, I think they are better than most do especially the oddsmakers. This one won't be close. Titans by 17.

Gabe: Titans - Both of these teams are a mess, except for Chris Johnson. CJ2K gets nice and the Titans win big.

Steelers (+1.5) at Ravens

Dave: Steelers - I said this in AFC North preview and my prediction piece, Pittsburgh has Baltimore's number and the Steelers are the only thing standing in between the Ravens and the Super Bowl. Everyone in the building and watching at home knows Pittsburgh won't be able to run the ball on Baltimore, so two things need to happen for the Ravens to win at home. One, Baltimore's new and improved secondary has to be able to stay with Pittsburgh's speedy receivers and the Ravens have to find a pass rush beyond Terrell Suggs to make Big Ben uncomfortable back there. Two, Joe Flacco needs his coming-of-age moment right here, right now. Flacco's worst nights have come against the Steel Curtian and all the regular season W's are meaningless if Flacco continues to struggle against Pittsburgh. The Ravens have much more at stake here because a loss here means they'll have to go into Heinz Field later in the year and try to pull out a W to salvage the division crown. To be the man, you have to beat the man and, right now, the Steelers are the man......with the Ravens' number. Steelers by 3.

Gabe: Steelers - The Steelers might be the best team in the AFC and like Dave said, they have Baltimore's number. This has turned into a great physical rivalry. Steelers by a touchdown in a tough hard hitting game.

Colts (+9) at Texans

Dave: Texans - I was a little reluctant to take Houston here because RB Arian Foster is a game-time decision and I'm not sure Ben Tate is enough to justify giving Indy 9 points. Plus, while Kerry Collins is washed up, is it THAT crazy to think he couldn't be decent against a still-improving Houston pass defense with Reggie Wayne and Dallas Clark healthy? More likely, the Colts struggle to play catch up with an explosive Texans offense, like it was the case this time last year even with Peyton Manning behind center for Indy, and the Texans stake their claim to the South crown.

Gabe: Colts - Only because I think the line is too high. Everything about this game seems to point to a Houston blowout...which is exactly the kind of situation that causes Houston to stub their toe. Houston wins, but only by a touchdown.

Panthers (+7) at Cardinals

Dave: Panthers - Taking a page out of Gabe's book, you can call this my upset special. Yes, I have the Cardinals winning the West. No, I don't think they are very good. Neither is Carolina, but winning in the NFL is about doing certian aspects of the game better than your opponent. Do the Panthers run the ball better than Arizona? Absolutely. Does Carolina have a better defense? The case can be made that they do. Does Carolina throw the ball as well as Arizona? No, but the gap isn't that big. Carolina is going to trot out Cam Newton and Arizona will have Kevin Kolb starting at QB. Both have had pretty much the same time to learn their respective offenses. Kolb, while the "veteran", only has a handful more starts than Cam-Cam and none of those starts came with his current team. You're talking about a battle between pretty much too newcomers. Newton has the better offensive line, is significantly more mobile and has some weapons in Steve Smith, Greg Olsen and Jeremy Shockey(plus the added bonus of a solid running game). Kolb has Larry Fitzgerald and what's left of Todd Heap. I'm calling that a push. Everywhere else? Advantage: Carolina. I see the Panthers pulling out the ugly win. Carolina by 6.

Gabe: Cardinals - I think Carolina is a mess. Arizona seems to be getting it together. Arizona is at home and I think they have the makings of a great offense. Carolina won't be able to stop them or keep up. Cards by 10.

Vikings (+8.5) at Chargers

Dave: Vikings - Minnesota may be a shell of the team that went to the NFC Championship two years ago, but they aren't completely dead. Donovan McNabb has declined but still has a little left in the tank(at least, early on, he will) and the Vikes still have Adrian Peterson(who, you may recall, set the single-game rushing record the last time these two teams played each other). The Chargers are notorious slow starters, making them a hell of a risk to cover a near-nine point spread. The Chargers will air it out on a so-so Minnesota secondary but they, like many defenses, will have their struggles stopping A.P. and I think McNabb-to-Harvin is dangerous enough to keep the game within a touchdown. Chargers by 7.

Gabe: Vikings - The Chargers historically start the season slowly. I don't think they are going to buck that trend. They will win the game, but it is going to be close.

Seahawks (+5.5) at 49ers

Dave: 49ers - You know how, no matter how big a bust a QB might be, they always have that one game where, afterwards, delusional fans say "See? See? I told you he'd put it all together! (insert name here) is gonna have a breakout year, baby!" like Joey Harrington's 361 yard performance against Minnesota in 2004 or Brady Quinn going back-and-forth with then-rookie Matt Stafford to the tune of 304 yards and 4 TD's in 2009? This will be that game for Alex Smith. This is the game that downtrodden Niners fans have been waiting for from their 2005 #1 overall pick or, as he's known to everyone else, "The Guy That Got Taken Instead Of Aaron Rodgers in '05". Smith will have Braylon Edwards, Michael Crabtree and Vernon Davis to spread the ball around to for what will probably be the only time the trio will be together before one or two of them tears an Achilles'. Frank Gore will continue his history of owning the Seahawks and Seattle head coach Pete Carroll will finally pick up the phone and call the Bengals about Carson Palmer after he watches Tarvaris Jackson run backwards for a 13-yard loss on a sack for the second time in the first quarter. Niners by 13.

Gabe: 49ers - The 49ers have the makings of a decent offense and Seattle sucks. I also have a long standing hatred for the SeaPigeons after what they did to the Giants in 2005, so Niners by two touchdowns.

Giants (-3) at Redskins

Dave: Giants - I'm baffled how, with all the press that will be used on the 10th anniversary of 9/11, that the NFL schedule makers wouldn't book Giants-Jets(currently slated to take place on Christmas Eve this season) as the Sunday night game on September 11th as opposed to having the Giants go on the road to face piddly Washington and having the Jets host the Cowboys on Sunday night. That's another debate for another time. As for this stinker of a game, the lone bright spot this year as far as football goes in the Rodriguez household will be the two times Gabe's Giants get to thrash the 'Skins. Maybe Mike Shanahan knows something about Rex Grossman that the rest of the world doesn't but I see him eating a lot of grass going up against the best pass rush in the NFL in New York. Both teams will suck by year's end but, even with Osi out and Justin Tuck banged up, Big Blue rolls in this one. Giants by 20.

Gabe: Giants - First, let me respond to the first part of Dave's write up on this game. The tragedy of 9/11 occurred in New York and Washington. It totally makes sense that these two teams play on the 10th anniversary. As Steve Harvey said in 'The Original Kings of Comedy,' well, now that we done got that out the way...the Giants pass rush is the best in the NFL and they have a history of crushing bad quarterbacks, especially in Week 1. I don't think Grossman finishes the game and the Giants defense goes off. Big Blue by at least 14.

Cowboys (+5) at Jets

Dave: Jets - The battle of the Ryan brothers over having two New York teams battle it out in the Meadowlands on the 10-year anniversary of the most devastating attack on U.S. soil since Pear; Harbor? I still shake my head at that. As for the game, I don't see where Dallas has an advantage here. The offensive line is a work in progress and will be facing one of the best defenses in the league. Even if Tony Romo gets time to throw, Miles Austin and Dez Bryant are going to be smothered by Darrelle Revis and Antonio Cromartie. Dallas will struggle to run the ball against Gang Green and Dallas' D, while expected to be better than last year, still has weaknesses in the secondary that are sure to be exploited by WR Santonio Holmes. The game will be competitive, but the Jets' D will be too much for the Cowboys and Mark Sanchez will put together just enough offense to keep Dallas at bay. Jets by 10.

Gabe: Jets - Quite simply, the Jets are better than the Cowboys all around, and will be playing emotionally charged. I wouldn't bet against any New York based team today. Jets by double digits.

Patriots (-6.5) at Dolphins

Dave: Patriots - In years past, Miami has been able to steal a win from New England with some crafty tricks up their sleeve(the introduction of The Wildcat, for one) and some efficient defense. The gap has since widened between the Dolphins and Patriots and, while New England's look a bit off in preseason, Bill Belichick isn't going to let his team get embarressed on national television by a division rival after an offseason spent going all-in for a championship. Even with the improved offensive line, Chad Henne and company can't go score for score with Tom Brady's bunch. I'd be surprised if this one isn't over by halftime. Patriots by 16.

Gabe: Patriots - I can't believe this line is this close. I think this game turns into a nightmare for Miami after a half. Patriots win huge.

Raiders (+3) at Broncos

Dave: Broncos - Quite the yawnfest for an opening Monday night slate. 3 non-playoff teams in primetime? Ugh. Monday Night Football hasn't been kind to the Raiders in recent years, especially against division rivals, and this time won't be any different. The Broncos' pass rush is much improved with Elvis Dumervil back and Von Miller in the equation and Kyle Orton is going to pick his spots against a Asomugha-less Oakland secondary. Darren McFadden will have a big day against a bad Broncos run defense, and that might the only chance Oakland has of keeping this close. Otherwise, Broncos win going away in a game not worth its primetime spot. Denver by 14.

Gabe: Broncos - Denver has some nice pieces and Oakland is a joke. Denver by at least 10.

Week 1 Picks

Football returns Thursday night with defending Super Bowl champion Green Bay Packers hosting the Super Bowl champs from two years ago, the New Orleans Saints.

With the regular season set to be underway in a matter of hours, it is time for the 3rd annual weekley picks showdown between myself and Gabe. Gabe's won it the past two years, thanks to a couple late-season collapses and some Puerto Rican voodoo but it's a new year.

Let's get it going!

Saints(+4.5) at Packers

Dave: Saints - By now, you know how I handle business when it comes to picking for my Packers. The reverse jinx has worked so well in years past, it's allowed me to watch my boys win a Super Bowl. So why go away from tradition? Look, both teams are skilled enough on offense to turn this into a shootout. I think this thing goes back and forth with a couple turnovers on both sides, with the victor winning by a field goal. That victor I believe will be Green Bay. The crowd will be so pumped with all the flair from the pregame Super Bowl celebration that the noise will be deafening and Aaron Rodgers and company is going to feed off that energy. Still, Brees is cagey enough to make things interesting, so I'm going Pack by a field goal.

Gabe: Packers - I think this game is going to be fairly close as well. The one thing the Saints do well on defense is blitz. The problem for them is Aaron Rodgers is one of the best quarterbacks in the league under pressure. He makes good decisions, quickly. That will be the difference. Pack by a touchdown.

Football! Football! My God, Football!

The division previews are done, but there's still some unfinished business.

That's right. This is the part that inevitably leads to me putting foot to mouth in February(although I was close last year with my Ravens-Packers Super Bowl pick). If you read the division breakdowns, you know who I have as division champs but I'll re-write them here anyway for you lazy bums as well as my Wild Card picks.

NFC

Division winners: Packers, Eagles, Cardinals, Saints

Wild Cards:

1. Atlanta: Let's face it. It's not like NOT having a stellar defense stopped them from making the playoffs last year. The offense is too explosive for them not to succeed and the defense is good enough to not cripple them too much. Come playoff time, however, that will change and Matty Ice will be see his elusive search for his playoff win come up short once again.

2. Dallas: It's pretty much a dogfight between Dallas, Detroit and Tampa Bay but, when push came to shove, I went with experience over potential. Both Tampa Bay and Detroit have tougher divisional foes, which will make their chances of toppling Dallas(who will feast on Washington and New York this season) that much tougher. For Romo and company, Rob Ryan will make this defense a lot better and the Cowboys can score points even if they don't get a full season out of RB Felix Jones. If Jones is healthy though, the Cowboys will be a very tough out in the playoffs.

AFC

Division winners: New England, Pittsburgh, Tennessee, San Diego

Wild Cards

1. Baltimore: Pretty easy call here. Ray Rice is my sleeper pick to win the rushing title and I like what Lee Evans and Torrey Smith bring to this offense. Defensively, it's the same story. Baltimore is going to smack you in the mouth repeatedly. The only things keeping me from making them my Super Bowl pick is my lack of faith in Joe Flacco and my lack of confidence that Ed Reed stay healthy enough to make up for a weak secondary.

2. New York Jets: The Jets benefit from the AFC not being more than six teams deep. If Houston lives up to the hype or Kansas City can continue what they did last season, the Jets are in trouble. I'm not sold on Burress' comeback and Shonn Greene really needs to impress me this year. That defense, though, makes up for a lot of offense shortcomings and they seem to have New England's number in the playoffs, which means they won't go away quietly in January.

MVP: Drew Brees, QB, Saints - That's right, I'm making you wait on the Super Bowl pick. Deal with it. All of the talk about Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers and Mike Vick, people have forgotten about Drew Brees as one of the game's best QB's. Yes, the Madden Curse haunted Brees and he didn't play up to the level he was at during the Super Bowl run two years ago. With a newfound running game giving the offense more balance, I think Brees picks defenses apart and has a big year. Yes, A-Rod and Brady will be in the mix but my money's on Brees this year.

Offensive Player of the Year: Ray Rice, RB, Ravens - You saw what Vonta Leach did for Arian Foster last year. You've seen what Bryant McKinnie did for Adrian Peterson over the years in Minnesota. Both men are in Baltimore to open holes for Ray Rice, who will still be the goal line back even with Ricky Williams in the fold. With the way Baltimore likes to establish the run, 1,600 yards and 18 combined TD's isn't out of the question for Ray Rizzle. Yes, it helps that he went to Rutgers. I'm a homer. Sue me.

Defensive Player of the Year: Ndomukong Suh, DT, Lions - 10 sacks as a rookie when opposing offenses knew he was the guy they needed to stop of that Detroit defensive line. Now, Nick Fairley is in the fold and guys like Kyle Vanden Bosch and Cliff Avril will make it hard to use up too many blockers on a boy named Suh. If he can keep himself from getting suspended for abusing QB's, Suh is going to have an even bigger year than his impressive rookie campaign.

Offensive Rookie of the Year: Cam Newton, QB, Panthers - The lockout makes it hard to have too much faith in any rookie but Newton has all the tools to succeed. He's big, strong, mobile and he'll put up numbers behind a better-than-advertised offensive line and throwing to safety valves in tight ends Jeremy Shockey and Greg Olsen with the occasional deep bomb to Steve Smith. The vaunted run game with "The Daily Show" Jon Stewart and DeAngelo Williams will keep defenses from throwing too much at Cam-Cam and I can see Newton doing just enough to win a few games on a sad sack Panthers franchise. Plus, going chalk with Mark Ingram or Julio Jones just isn't fun.

Defensive Rookie of the Year: Patrick Peterson, CB, Cardinals - Admittedly, it's a long shot but he gets six games against Tarvaris Jackson, Alex Smith and Sam Bradford(who will be throwing a lot in Josh McDaniels' offense). That means he'll get a lot of opportunity. Marcell Dareus will be in the mix, as will Von Miller but my hunch is that Peterson makes an immediate impact on a Cardinals defense lacking playmakers.

AFC Championship: Patriots over Steelers - If the Ravens can get by Pittsburgh, I like them to beat New England because they are aren't as weak against the spread offense as the Steelers are but the Ravens haven't proved they can get over that hump. I see the improved pass rush by New England getting to Big Ben early and often, while the Steelers struggle yet again to keep a deep Patriot receiving crew at bay when they spread it out.

NFC Championship: Saints over Packers - I'm tipping my hand here a little with our pick for Thursday's opener coming soon, but I like the Saints' balance over my Packers. Much like the season opener, this will be an amazing shootout between two elite QB's but the Packers are a little weaker against the run than New Orleans is and the combination of Mark Ingram and Pierre Thomas and even Darren Sproles will keep Green Bay honest on D and the Saints' offensive line is good enough to give Brees time to air it out.

Super Bowl: Patriots 35, Saints 31 - We've been fortunate the last few years to have Roethlisberger vs. Warner, then Manning vs. Brees and then Roethlisberger vs. Rodgers. This time around, it's Brady vs. Brees and a battle between the defensive genius of Bill Belichick and the offensive creativity of Sean Payton. I'll give the edge to New England because their versatility on defense will confuse Brees and their balance on offense will slow down New Orleans' quick-strike attack. Patriots win their first title since '05. Brady wins MVP and ESPN spends the fall blowing wads in their shorts while we get force-fed endless "Brady or Montana" debates.

Welcome back, football!

AFC East Preview

1. New England Patriots

What I like: Tom Brady commandeers his deepest offense in years. With WRs Deion Branch and Wes Welker already in the fold, the team took a chance on ex-Bengals Pro Bowl wideout Chad Ochocinco. For all his bad press for being showboating attention hog, Ochocinco is also a fine route runner who knows he can't afford to mess up his best chance at a ring by getting too extra with his theatrics. On top of that trio, Brady has a pair of young TE's in Aaron Hernandez and Rob Gronkowski, both of which are coming off strong rookie seasons. The Pats will go with a two-man running attack led by power back BenJarvus Green-Ellis and last year's crafty pickup Danny Woodhead. The plethora of weapons allows Brady to do what he does best: Spread the ball around and keep defenses guessing and the combo of Ellis and Woodhead will keep defenses honest. Defensively, the team took another big risk in adding volatile DT Albert Haynesworth. Haynesworth wasn't a fan of the 3-4 scheme while in Washington but his presence in New England would suggest the team will be using some 4-3 looks as well. To help with their pass defense woes, the team also added DEs Shaun Ellis and Andre Carter and drafted Virginia cover corner Ras-I Dowling. These additions plus Belichick's tinkering with the scheme switching between the 3-4 and 4-3 to confuse opposing offenses will improve a 30th ranked pass defense, as will the continued progression of youngsters like CB Devin McCourtey(team leader in INT's as a rookie last year) and S Pat Chung.

What I don't like: While the team used draft picks on offensive linemen such as Nate Solder and Marcus Cannon, the offensive line has still allowed Brady to take some hits in the preseason. Teams know the key to stopping New England's powerful offense is getting in Brady's face and wrapping him in the mouth to throw off his rhythm. That's why physical defenses like the Jets and Ravens and Steelers have been able to get the better of New England in years past. The team is also taking a decent risk both in hoping that all these new parts on defense will be productive and that infamous knuckleheads like Ochocinco and Haynesworth will be choir boys under Belichick. The Pats have managed to turn problem children like Corey Dillon and Randy Moss but also failed with guys like Brandon Meriwether and Brandon Tate, both of which were cut last week. The Patriots have succeeded with chemistry and a business-as-usual team mentality. Those seem to go against the mindsets of guys like Ochocinco and Haynesworth.

Bottom line: The retooling on offense and defense has made the Patriots the leaders in the clubhouse in the AFC. If Belichick can make worker bees out of his recently acquired divas, the depth on both sides of the ball will be too much for the rest of the league to handle. Beyond getting everyone in line, the team must also prove it can protect Brady as well as improve enough on defense to stop the other high-powered offenses in the conference. While Brady and company are good enough to win most shootouts, battling back and forth through the air makes Brady more susceptible to punishment. Punishment that the team can't afford its franchise face to take.

2. New York Jets

What I like: A year after trying to get a band of mercenaries together like a scene out of "The Expendables" in hopes of locking down a Super Bowl, the team was a bit less frivilous with their money. Gone are rent-a-players like Jason Taylor and Braylon Edwards. The team did, however, agree to bring back Santonio Holmes to give QB Mark Sanchez a big play home run threat and extended serial impregnater Antonio Cromartie to give Gang Green a superb cornerback tandem by pairing him with Darrelle Revis. The move that made the biggest splash was the signing of former Giant Plaxico Burress. Fresh off doing two years in the clink, Burress is set to be this year's Mike Vick and attempt to wow the world with a great comeback story. At the very least, Plax is a big body in the red zone, which gives the team more options beyond TE Dustin Keller and the running back duo of Shonn Greene and LaDainian Tomlinson. A couple of other fresh faces are rookies Muhammad Wilkerson and Kendrick Ellis, who have the task of replacing Shaun Ellis and Kris Jenkins on the defensive line. Wilkerson was unblockable at Temple but, as is the case with all rookies this year, he faces an uphill battle trying to learn a complex defense while being hampered by the lockout. The same goes for Ellis, who not only has to adjust coming from small-school dominance at Hampton to trying to carve a niche in the pros but also spent the offseason avoiding deportation after he was charged with aggravated assault while at Hampton. If the rooks can catch up quick, they will open things up for a talented linebacking core that features pass rushers Bryan Thomas and Calvin Pace on the outside and run stuffers Bart Scott and David Harris on the inside.

What I don't like: We know Rex Ryan can coach a defense but the offense remains suspect. QB Mark Sanchez has improved each year but a team with this much hype needs its franchise QB to take some giant strides in Year 3. For the offense to click, a lot of things need to fall into place. For one, it's asking a lot for the 34-year old Burress to go from two years in the joint to being a viable #2 option in the NFL. Even if Burress stumbles, the next best option is 37-year old Derrick Mason. Mason is a decent possession receiver and might fit in perfect as a #3 at his advanced age but the team could have done a better job instilling some youth at the possession as a backup plan. The Jets also neglected the offensive line, which has some holes after losing guard Alan Faneca and tackle Damian Woody in back-to-back years. Those spots were filled by unproven players like Wayne Hunter and Matt Slauson, weakening a once-strong unit. People are also expecting a bounce-back year from Greene. Rex Ryan wanted to go back to smashmouth, run-first football but Greene stumbled out of the gate taking over for Thomas Jones and, while L.T. started out strong in the first half, old age finally caught up to the future Hall of Famer down the stretch. The team is going to need Greene to be the lead back he was drafted to be in Year 3. Otherwise, more pressure will be put on the already lofty shoulders of Mark Sanchez.

Bottom line: Rex Ryan can't stop telling anyone who will listen that his Jets are the team to beat but there are plenty of question marks to make that claim dubious. The Jets will be a playoff team off the strength of a very good defense and some veteran savvy on offense. However, for this team to make the Super Bowl after being stopped dead in its tracks in back-to-back AFC Championship losses, they are going to need big years out of Greene and Sanchez. In a city like New York, it's all about what you've done for me lately. We know Ryan and company can talk the talk, but the young guys have to help the veterans walk the walk. Otherwise, it's another year of white noise.

3. Miami Dolphins

What I like: Am I crazy for thinking Chad Henne isn't THAT bad a QB? Maybe. Henne returns as the starter in Miami after an offseason that saw the team flirt with trading for Kyle Orton but settling for signing ex-Panther Matt Moore. What might be seen as a vote of confidence might me more of a shortening of the leash. This is a make-or-break year for Henne in his fourth season and the tools are in place for the former Michigan Wolverine to succeed. Rookie Mike Pouncey and former Cowboy Marc Colombo were brought in to solidify an already good offensive line led by former top overall pick Jake Long. Once highly-touted runner Reggie Bush was acquired from New Orleans and former K-State RB Daniel Thomas was drafted to replace Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams and give the Dolphins more of a punch in the ground game. Henne will also have weapons in the passing game with supposedly-sane WR Brandon Marshall and last year's breakout star Davone Bess, as well as youngster Brian Hartline. The defense suffered a few losses but gets first-round pick Jared Odrick back to rotate on the defensive line as well as one the game's emerging young LB's in Cameron Wake. Vontae Davis and Sean Smith are coming on as solid young cornerback tandem as well.

What I don't like: As much as I'm willing to give Henne some leeway, I realize I'm in the minority in that category. Henne's been uninspiring in his first two seasons as starter and he could very well be the bust everyone already thinks he is. The same can be said for Bush, who was supposed to be the second coming of Barry Sanders but instead has been softer than Barry Manilow. With the rookie Daniel Thomas a step behind because of the lockout, Bush gets his first real shot of his career to be the lead back. When healthy, Bush is a dynamic playmaker with uncanny speed and good hands out of the backfield but he's never been able to avoid the injury bug. As for Brandon Marshall, he admitted to the world that he was suffering from borderline personality disorder but managed to get it taken care thanks to new meds. When your star wideout needs happy pills to be a better teammate, that should be a cause for concern. The defense is going to miss leading tackler Channing Crowder, who was released and then mysteriously retired. Kevin Burnett was brought in as Crowder's replacement but he's rather ho-hum.

Bottom line: Miami can be a dangerous team is its core players live up to their once-lengthy press clippings. Still, it's asking a lot for guys like Henne, Marshall and Bush to miraculously put it all together in the same season and become the big-time talents they were drafted to be. Henne has no excuses not to improve this season. The offensive line is solid, the supporting cast is better and he's had enough time with the playbook to be able to run the offense smoothly. As for Bush, it will be interesting to see what he can do if he manages to get 20-25 touches a game and plays all 16 this season. Bush has shown flashes during his career but has always been slowed by either his own hype or by injury. The Dolphins aren't close to competing with Super Bowl contenders like New England and New York in their own division but if it somehow all comes together for them, they could be a tough out at the very least.

4. Buffalo Bills

What I like: As dreadful as the Bills were last year. they managed to uncover a few nice surprises. QB Ryan Fitzpatrick was better than expected in his first full year as starter and built a nice chemistry with breakout star Steve Johnson. Johnson's emergence allowed the team to cut ties with long time starter Lee Evans. Fred Jackson returns as the starter after wrestling the job away from C.J. Spiller last season. Jackson's been steady yet unspectacular as the team's main ground threat. Defensively, the team made some strides. Buffalo is hoping oft-injured LB's Nick Barnett and Shawne Merriman can return to Pro Bowl form. The return of "Lights Out" is especially crucial to the team's success as he's the team's best pass rusher. The team used the 3rd overall pick on Marcell Dareus, a DE out of Alabama, to be the cornerstone of this 3-4 defense and provide pressure on a defensive line that already features underrated NT Kyle Williams. The secondary also has a share of young up-and-comers in safety Jarius Byrd and CB Leodis McKelvin.

What I don't like: Fitzpatrick's numbers are especially impressive considering he was playing behind one of the worst offensive lines in football. The Bills did nothing to improve a unit that consistently failed to protect its young QB and provide holes for Jackson or Spiller. Speaking of Spiller, the former Clemson standout was a colossal failure as a rookie and the fact that he's behind the pedestrian Fred Jackson is a bad sign for his future as a pro. Any chance of Johnson's success carrying on into this season was compromised by trading Evans. With no other receiver to take attention away from Johnson, the passing game will stall unless someone else can step up. The defense will be much improved by the losses of LB Paul Posluszny and SS Donte Whitner will hurt and the team is really taking a gamble that Barnett and Merriman can stay on the field.

Bottom line: The Bills will be slightly better than last year but the team has huge holes on the offensive line and the trimming of talent on both sides of the ball will prove costly throughout the season. On the bright side, the team might have found something in Fitzpatrick and Johnson and if they can get contributions from Spiller and/or any of its new additions on defense, the team can be respectable in 2011. That's a big if, however.

AFC South Preview

1. Tennessee Titans

What I like: After trying to get by with a tandem of Vince Young, Kerry Collins and Rusty Smith at QB, the Titans got themselves a steady veteran with a couple good years left in him in former Seahawk Matt Hasselbeck. Hasselbeck will improve a passing offense that ranked 25th last year, while also mentoring heir apparent Jake Locker. The Titans also benefited by dodging two bullets. First, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell decided NOT to suspend talented-but-troubled wideout Kenny Britt for his many offseason indiscretions. Second, after weeks of a much-publicized and panic-filled(for fantasy owners) holdout, the team agreed to a lucrative extension for workhorse back Chris Johnson. CJ2K, Britt and Hasselbeck give the Titans its best offensive trio since the Steve McNair-Eddie George-Yancey Thigpen days and, with the Colts having to start off without Peyton Manning and the Texans possibly having to lead off without rushing champ Arian Foster, the Titans can steal a suddenly up-for-grabs AFC South. Defensively, the team lost Jason Babin but gained back last year's top pick in Derrick Morgan(missed all of last year with a knee injury and is expected to miss the opener) and added two solid LB's in former Buc Barrett Ruud(to replace Stephen Tulloch) and rookie Akeem Ayers to go along with last year's signing of Will Witherspoon. The secondary returns in tact with Jason McCourtey and Cortland Finnegan manning the corner spots and talented safeties Chris Hope and Michael Griffin laying the wood.

What I don't like: The losses on the defensive line over the last couple of years are bound to catch up to the Titans, especially the loss of someone not even on the field: Former defensive coordinator Jim Washburn, who left to be the defensive line coach in Philly. Morgan was arguably the draft's most complete end last year, but he's unproven and, as of right now, unhealthy, and there isn't much beyond him on that defensive line. There are also health concerns with Hasselbeck, Britt and even Johnson(the history of backs who hit the field after a long holdout are kind of scary......see Anderson, Jamal). Hasselbeck has had numerous back issues and Britt missed time with various ailments last season. The team also needs Nate Washington to step up after signing him away from Pittsburgh. It will also be interesting to see how the team responds to new head coach Mike Munchak after the long tenure under Jeff Fisher.

Bottom line: Every year, a team we aren't expecting to break out makes a surprise run. For the first time in years, Indianapolis' grasp on the South has loosened and the Titans have enough talent on both sides of the ball to take advantage. Johnson has to prove he's worth the big payday he spent all summer lusting after and Hasselbeck and Britt need to build a strong rapport to establish balance on offense and lighten the load on CJ2K. On defense, someone has to emerge on the defensive line and provide a pass rush with Jason Babin gone because the rest of the defensive unit is pretty solid. Right now, the Titans are the healthiest team in the division and that gives them a leg up on the already-battered Colts and Texans.

2. Houston Texans

What I like: When all three are healthy, there's no better trio in the NFL than QB Matt Schaub, RB Arian Foster and WR Andre Johnson. Schaub's thrown for 4,000 yards the last two seasons. Foster became the first undrafted back to win a rushing title since Priest Holmes and Johnson continues to cement his status as one of the game's best receivers. It will be interesting to see how the team converts from a 4-3 to the 3-4 under new defensive coordinator Wade Phillips. Mario Williams was coming on as pass-rushing terror as a defensive end but now has to learn to get to the QB as a stand-up outside linebacker. Brian Cushing, the team's other pass-rushing threat, will be moving from the outside to team on the inside with tackling machine DeMeco Ryans. To help improve the worst pass defense in the league, the team signed CB Jonathan Joesph away from Cincinnati and S Danieal Manning from Chicago and moved Glover Quin from cornerback(where he was a liability) to strong safety.

What I don't like: Foster's hamstring injury, eventhough it won't keep him out of the opener, scares me and it adds to skepticism over whether the defending rushing champ is legit or a one-year wonder. The loss of FB Vonta Leach hurts too, even if it was softened by the signing of Lawrence Vickers. I'm also weary of all the moving parts in the team's switch to the 3-4. For as much of athletic freak as Super Mario is, he might be a bit too big to play the DeMarcus Ware role in Phillips' scheme. Cushing is probably better suited on the outside and the team really doesn't have the big bodies up front to clog the lanes and keep blockers off this linebacking core. The Joesph signing helps but Kareem Jackson has to step it up a few notches after being burnt crisp routinely last year.

Bottom line: The Texans are everyone's sexy pick to take the reins of the AFC South with the Colts suddenly crumbling, but we keep waiting for the Texans to step up and it never happens. Offensively, this team has a slew of talent but they need to prove they can win close games and this defense needs to make huge strides, especially against the pass, before we crown them the new kings of the South.

3. Indianapolis Colts

What I like: Without Peyton Manning, there isn't much to get excited for. Even with #18 under center, there were questions about the offensive line and the running game. Now, the offense is temporarily in the hands of grizzled vet Kerry Collins until Manning returns from offseason neck surgery. My money is on us not seeing Eli's older brother before October. One neck surgery is hard enough but to try to come back from two in your late 30's and be deemed medically ready to play a position where you have the ball at all times in an age when QB safety is paramount is a rather daunting task. Collins, meanwhile, has a significantly better supporting cast with the likes of WR Reggie Wayne and TE Dallas Clark than he did during his short tenure in Tennessee. The defense has its share of holes as well, but they still can rely on the pass rushing duo of Robert Mathis and Dwight Freeney as well as steady middle linebacker in Gary Brackett.

What I don't like: As I mentioned before, the offensive line scares me a bit. When Manning comes back, his blind side will be covered by a rookie left tackle in Anthony Castonzo, who will have to pick up the speed of the pro game instantaneously after being left on the outside looking in during the lockout. The running game is suspect as well. Joesph Addai was horrible last year but looked like Edgerrin James compared to Donald Brown. The best back on the roster might be rookie Delone Carter but who knows when he'll get his crack at the starting lineup. On defense, Freeney and Mathis are going to have to get to QB's quick because the secondary is in shambles. If a shaky pass defense isn't enough, the team is soft up the middle, making their ability to stop the run questionable as well. That doesn't bode well in a division with Maurice Jones-Drew, Chris Johnson and Arian Foster.

Bottom line: Manning's absence will allow us to see just how good a coach Jim Caldwell is. Since Tony Dungy's departure, Caldwell has been able to skate on the fact that he had a cerebral assassin behind center that didn't need to be coached up that heavily. Now, he has to turn water into wine by rejuvenating the career of a gray beard in Collins for at least the foreseeable future. As it that isn't enough, the division has gotten better around him and a once-balanced offense now looks one-dimensional while the once-famed Dungy defense is a shell of its former self. I alluded to the idea of the Colts tanking to secure the top spot and find Manning's heir apparent via the man who has drawn the most comparisons to him: Stanford QB Andrew Luck. I was only half-joking. The truth is, an immobile QB coming off neck surgery playing behind a shaky line is the type of risk no medical staff is willing to take. It's not impossible to think we won't see Manning at all this season or, if we do, that he is forced to miss more time by coming back too early. For the first time in more than a decade, things look bleek in Indianapolis and it might only be getting worse.

4. Jacksonville Jaguars

What I like: Beyond Maurice Jones-Drew, nothing. The defense has a few respectable names in guys like Aaron Kampman, Rashean Mathis and new hires Paul Posluszny and Dawan Landry but the its mostly the same unit that finished 28th against the pass and 22nd against the run last year.

What I don't like: The Jags made what they thought was a sound business decision by cutting long time QB David Garrard and avoiding the $9 million he was owed this season. The only problem with that is, the team's quarterback options are now career backup Luke McCown and rookie Blaine Gabbert. If that isn't enough to cause a lump in your throat, Mike Sims-Walker, the team's best receiver the past two seasons is gone, and the Jags' new starting receivers are Mike Thomas and Jason Hill. Who? Exactly. On defense, Tyson Alualu, the team's surprise top ten pick, made the Jags look wise by being surprisingly decent last season. However, even with Alualu, the defense was dreadful last year and the team's new additions won't make them too much better.

Bottom line: Unless the Jaguars know something that we don't about Luke McCown, it's going to be a long year in Jacksonville. Jones-Drew, the team's lone bright spot, is coming off knee surgery in the offseason and is now being asked to carry an offense that will almost certainly see a rookie QB in Gabbert start by midseason. The chances of Jack Del Rio surviving this season seem grim. The overall talent is lacking and even proven vets like Kampman come with their own "Yeah, but...." disclaimers. The saddest part of what will be a depressing season for the Jags is that the team already took its franchise QB early, meaning fans will miss out on the possibility of Andrew Luck gracing south Florida. Luckily for the Jags suits, fans don't come to the games anyway and the team will probably be moving to Los Angeles by time Gabbert is ready to be a starting QB.